The mystery of life and death
I had not seen my friends for some months and I wanted to pay them a visit.
Right from the beginning, our conversation was again about all those problems.
Juan asked: “Well, Alonzo, is there life after death?”
“I have not got any further, Juan.
But how are you?
Do your poems live?
I thought your latest poems were beautiful, Juan.
Can you see through the problems now?
Have you come a bit closer to yourself and life?”
“You are the most sensitive one of all of us, Alonzo”, Carlo said, “so you should know.
Or do you not get any further?”
“Sometimes I think I know, Carlo, but then everything is gone again and I am completely empty.
But it comes out of my inner self.”
“So you have come a little closer to yourself, Alonzo?”
You think I am insane, but I, who am speaking now, I must get to know.
That is where the secret of everything resides and he is the one who thinks, feels and speaks, he, who is called Alonzo.
This will die, but I will remain alive eternally.
I do not yet know how that life will be, but I shall find out one day.
Sometimes I see myself in other countries, Carlo.
I do not know how that comes over me, but I clearly see it before me.”
“You lose yourself, Alonzo, you will soon be insane.”
“I warned you beforehand, Carlo, if you think like that, you are unnatural.
I know, yet I feel all those problems in me; the mighty mystery resides in me.
You laugh but I assure you that it is true.
Of course, I cannot prove it, I only feel it, that is all.”
“Those are your own desires, Alonzo.”
“That is quite possible, Juan, but who experiences those feelings?”
“You of course, who else?”
“But who is this ‘I’, Juan?
You cannot answer that question.”
“It is you, who else.”
“My brains, Juan?
And those brains will die when I must die myself?”
“I really believe that you have made some progress, Alonzo.”
“I did not progress, Carlo, I only got a bit closer to myself.
There is no damnation.
That is a horror, which only serves to frighten people.
The soul is an entity, it is the essential part of our whole being, which remains alive and cannot be burnt.
In this short life heaven cannot be reached, at any rate, not the heaven where God gives us human beings perfection.
Geraldo is closest to nature and feels it.
Do you not, Geraldo?”
“Tell me, Alonzo, where do you get all these feelings from?”
“I think and feel, Geraldo, for days on end, and I try to reach my aim in this way.
There is something in me, which tells me to go on with this in order to get to know the mystery.
I cannot possibly tell you what it really is,
but sometimes I feel and understand everything.
Then I talk to the animals and myself.
My dog answers me and understands me perfectly.
You think that I am going insane, but I am still myself and quite normal.
When I feel everything more profoundly I am no longer myself and have discarded my consciousness, but then I live in someone else.
That is very strange too.
But I will reach my aim.”
“You want to become a seer, Alonzo?”
“No, Juan, when you have truly awakened you can see through things.
But we are living dead, all of us.
This has nothing to do with perception.”
“Do you know anything about the dying process yet, Alonzo?”
“No, Geraldo, I do not yet know anything, but I feel something.”
“We shall make an arrangement, Alonzo.
The one of us who will die first and live there, and is conscious, should come down to tell us who are still on earth about it.”
“I accept that arrangement at once, Juan.”
“It is a splendid idea, Juan.”
“In that way we will, at any rate, make some progress, Geraldo.”
A gypsy had told me that it was possible to speak with the dead and in what way it should be done.
A few weeks later, I visited my friends and we discussed it.
I persuaded them to come to me and do some tests.
Perhaps we would make some headway.
At the fixed hour, they called on me and we would begin.
For this purpose, I had a small wooden box, which had belonged to my Father.
As the gypsy said, the deceased would make the box move and the questioning could start.