Deut, you will get a cent from me on Sunday if you just play with Jeus now
Bernard and Jeus have become friends.
Bernard senses that he now means something to his little brother.
His life is open to many things and he can then pass this on to Jeus.
He now has respect!
Some of what father possesses and it is just as strong, you now have darkness and light in your own hands, however, that means being sent to the cellar for Bernard.
Bernard loves Jeus because he is friendly and grateful.
He knows, you can treat Jeus a lot and his happiness then does you good.
It is the happiness which mother feels when she cooks for those lousy men, those tramps who always come to mother, week in week out.
This happiness, Bernard now understands, comes into your heart, and then it starts.
The things that impress your life are, of course, something completely different, but it is there.
They go off every morning.
Crisje thinks it is bliss, she can now do her work and is free from all that questioning.
Bernard now teaches Jeus all kinds of things.
Each thing gets a meaning for Jeus and he wants to know one thing and another about everything.
Yesterday they were at the other graveyard.
And looked at the graves and their head stones.
Which was a feast for Jeus.
Although, it still haunts him, because last night he dreamt about it.
But it will certainly be okay, sooner or later he will ask his questions and then Crisje will learn what he heard during all those days.
When Bernard asked him how he felt now that he had given him his wisdom, he was answered:
‘I have to think about this, Bernard.
It’s a lot for me.’
That is true, Bernard thought, but he felt as proud as a peacock, stuck out his chest and felt wonderful.
He let Jeus experience something for a moment and that was no small thing.
But the graveyard warden chased them away, they had no reason to be in this holy place.
However, the man did not know what it was about, otherwise he wouldn’t have chased the pair away.
Then they looked through the hedge, at all those Our Lords and Mary’s and at the angels on the stone statues above a grave, which Jeus wanted to know everything about.
Why don’t those angels fly away?
Bernard said that stone angels cannot fly.
Bernard thought the world of himself.
He was not a scaredy cat.
He didn’t want anything to do with those dead people.
That made you dream and then there were ghosts and Johan wanted nothing to do with ghosts.
“But”, Jeus now asked Bernard, “what are ghosts?”
“Yes, what are ghosts?
Ghosts are ghosts.”
“You don’t know?”
Bernard had to come out with it, but indeed, he didn’t know.
He came across as strange.
But what are ghosts?
What does Jeus want to know about ghosts?
Do ghosts mean something?
Bernard started to think, he had to think, otherwise his little brother would realize that he didn’t know and his respect would be lost.
Jeus knew it was a word to remember.
And a word his mother would know.
But why did people want angels in their churchyard?
A nice word, it has something of the church and the yard.
The church and the Parvis were things of Our Lord.
Did Bernard know that as well?
Jeus feels that he does know.
He is close by.
Bernard doesn’t feel it.
Then they went to the Wal and after the Wal to the Vissche Wei, a rough piece of land with ditches running through it, where the boys and girls skated and hung about in the winter.
And behind this was the Plantage.
Where you could play a good game of hide and seek.
Because there no one can find you.
When Bernard wanted to just show it to Jeus, and then later realized he couldn’t find the way anymore, Bernard had to admit that he was lost in the Plantation.
If there had been no other people in the Plantation, then they would have had to sleep outside that night.
At home there was a good hiding waiting for them, of course, and Bernard shrunk back from this.
The cellar at home, that was the worst thing there was!
From Crisje he got a scolding and she promised him, if it didn’t happen again she wouldn’t tell father anything about it, but for worse matters she couldn’t lie.
Crisje believed the boys.
That it had nothing to do with mischief.
Today Bernard has something nice in mind.
And Jeus will be surprised.
He wants to introduce him to Deut Messing.
Who is a madman that you can laugh about.
Deut is about thirty-four years old and a giant of a man,
Deut usually sits and thinks on the big stone in the corner of the Dassenstraatje near the Klink café, at least if you can call that thinking.
He dribbles and then the saliva runs out of his mouth.
However, then Deut is dangerous.
And Deut, who otherwise wouldn’t harm a fly, lashes out.
He bites and hits, and then everyone knows, including the children, that you have to be careful of Deut.
This usually happens when Deut is angry with his paralyzed father, but not from inside; from inside Deut can curse and lash out at his father like a wild animal.
What Deut misses in his head for whatever reason, which makes him like this, his father misses in his legs.
He is paralysed.
Deut’s fault has not yet been given a name, even the doctor doesn’t know!
They call it: simple, but would you say that Deut was mad?
Then you are not much wiser yourself.
Deut is not mad!
He thinks like a child and is as such a life feels.
This is why the children want to play with Deut.
It is true; both have their faults and need other people’s help, but old Messing will not tolerate anyone in his vicinity.
What is it like there?
It doesn’t bear thinking about it.
These two people have nothing in their lives, nothing!
No one knows what they live for.
Deut is sitting on his stone again.
There is something to experience for the children.
And Bernard also likes it and he wants to show it to Jeus, because it will be something special.
Is Deut ordinary?
Yes ... you can see that immediately.
Now Deut also knows how far he may go with the children whom he has to tickle.
But if you try it when he is dribbling ?
You will be crushed to death.
If Deut is sitting quietly, there is no danger for the children.
The parents first look anxiously for a moment, because they know all about it.
The simple man can work like a horse when he is good.
People also wondered what these two invalids were up to on the land.
When they went to find out they saw that old Messing ordered his Deut to follow him.
Then the simple man picked up the potatoes and threw them in a basket; it was just like for real!
They worked well together the whole day.
Until they suddenly had a fall-out which could make one laugh.
However, anyone who thought about it properly, could cry until their tears ran dry, the father’s shouting at his backward son was so pitiful, this sickly nature of Deut.
Now and again it was a drama.
Old Messing lashed out, and Deut, who was forced to go to his father, then was given a thrashing, until old Messing touched his inner life and Deut would run off.
It goes without saying that the paralysed old Messing sat outside in the rain and wind more than once, because no one knew that Deut had ran away.
The people do not understand why old Messing is still alive.
A strong man would already have succumbed long ago, but not old Messing, because he was as strong as an ox and just as harsh on Deut.
You shook and trembled when you heard and saw that, then you could give old Messing, even though he was lame, a hiding and a good one at that, because he could bait so well!
He was a bloodsucking.
A dirty scoundrel!
Because the old man always shouts at Deut and he doesn’t feel that shouting is no good for Deut, he immediately lashes out and it is strange but the simple man does not forget that.
People have also noticed that.
It is something completely different, not normal, because they have noticed that old Messing can continue to hit and bait for a time.
However, suddenly, something rebels in Deut and things go wrong then.
It is now that old Messing can prepare himself to receive a beating.
Deut does this in his own way, as a result of his thinking, and then old Messing falls off his wheelbarrow where he rolls three or four metres off the Grintweg in grave danger of breaking his neck.
Yet old Messing has still not broken his neck.
It is as if Our Lord thinks: it is not time yet, let’s allow these two to just pester each other for a while, then ‘I’ here will not have such trouble with those lives.
They do not know any more where Mrs Messing has gone.
In any case Deut used to have a mother, people suspect that she has died.
Only the old people here could know that, the young people only know Deut and the old man, the simple one and the lame one.
It is a madhouse!
And now just look.
A girl of four is asking Deut whether he will tickle Anneke.
"Deut, tickle Anneke, and then you will get a cent later."
For that money earned Deut will buy his cigar, he likes smoking.
Deut can smoke and not one man can better him.
Jeus will also learn that.
Deut’s friend is Duumke, they are almost inseparable.
You can see them together almost every day, but sometimes Duumke runs away from Deut and looks for his fun elsewhere.
The people and the children know that as well, because Duumke now looks after himself.
He does shopping for people and gets something to eat for it.
People say: Duumke has a tapeworm.
No one knows whether that is the case, however, it is true that Duumke remains gaunt, small and puny, he doesn’t grow, even if he eats more than ten pigs together.
He is the smallest and the puniest out of a nest, but if you see his brothers, you wonder how it is possible.
One has everything; the other has nothing, not even a healthy body, because such a tapeworm is not a nice thing to have.
Is Duumke here as well?
Yes, now you can have a laugh.
Bernard and Jeus check things out.
And observe that Duumke has just been given a nice bite to eat.
If you see Duumke and feel his inner life, you will naturally arrive at Deut.
But they are both different, Duumke is childishly naïve, Deut inhumanly simple.
The adults wonder whether these symptoms have something to do with each other.
Bernard already sees that they are having fun with Deut, and Duumke who is standing next to his great friend.
They are having fun with Deut’s talking, if you hear that garbled flow of words, you tremble and shake from pleasure, because what is a person who cannot talk.
Deut’s words don’t get as far as his throat, there they refuse to follow human thinking.
As a dog can growl, Deut barks out his words through his throat and the children can’t help laughing about that.
But they know exactly what he is saying.
Children are like that, the older person now asks: ‘What did Deut say?
What does Deut want?
Did Deut say something to me?’
Bernard points to Deut.
He has known him for quite a while and has talked to him a lot.
Along with being tickled several times by him.
Jeus now gets to hear:
“Do you want to be tickled by Deut, Jeus?”
He wants to explore the area first.
Isn’t that something?
He has lived here all his life but he still didn’t know anything about a Deut.
How is that possible?
The greatest wonders are to be found close to home.
Why didn’t Bernard tell him this before?
Deut smokes his cigar and Jeus sees that.
Deut can smoke.
And father cannot better him.
Jeus says, and that makes Bernard happy:
“He can smoke, Bernard!”
Bernard doesn’t even hear him, but tries to get Deut’s attention:
You have to do that a few times, otherwise Deut doesn’t hear you, but finally he reacts and looks Bernard in the eye.
“What is it, Bernard?”
“Deut, on Sunday you will get a cent from me if you just play with Jeus now.”
Now the questions follow and Deut already begins:
“Where is your Jeus, Bernard?”
“Here, Deut, here by me, this is Jeus.”
And now Jeus becomes acquainted with Deut Messing.
Deut is already preparing himself to tickle Jeus.
Who is standing between his legs; the giant can now crush him to death.
But nothing happens!
Deut is not dangerous now.
Isn’t that something?
The children are already giggling and Jeus is also laughing.
It is a strange feeling; all the children are already dancing for joy.
They know exactly what Jeus is feeling.
But when Deut tickles him too hard, Jeus darts away from him.
For he has had enough.
Now another child follows.
Deut continues to tickle until he gets bored with it himself.
He also still possesses that sense.
The simple one has become playful, his human feeling still works, but if you come to Deut when old Messing has beaten him?
A part of him refuses and he rebels and can kill you as well!
Every normal human feeling, which means something for normal consciousness, has now been beaten out of him.
The children look for another victim.
Duumke laughs as he continually surprises Deut with something else.
He holds a piece of sausage in front of his nose, which the simple one likes.
They are like a pair, this midget and the giant Deut.
“Is that Duumke, Bernard?”
“Yes, that is Duumke.”
“Why is he called Duumke?
What is: Duumke?”
“That’s something ...” Bernard utters, he doesn’t know... “Duumke is Duumke.
You can see that with your own eyes.”
And now Bernard is right, you can see, Duumke is like a thin midget and but then again not a midget.
It is difficult, because a midget is different.
Bernard continues: “That is a mite.”
But what is a mite, Bernard?
Duumke is really bigger than a midget.
Duumke receives just as much attention as Deut.
They are a wonderful pair.
One is mad and the other one is always hungry.
Duumke is eighteen years old and looks like a shrivelled human child.
He also smokes like a chimney if there is something to smoke.
You cannot make these two people happier, a cigar is everything!
A cigarette is nothing, you blow a thing like that away just like that and then they have nothing again.
They know that such a cigar takes longer.
“Do you want to smoke, Duumke?”
And then you hear why the children do everything and pinch cigars from father for Duumke who replies:
“Yes please, really.”
You see, that sounds good, if you hear that, you would steal everything for Duumke.
Duumke is now smoking and Deut has nothing to suck on.
That is bad for the simple one, he is quiet because of it.
And now the children cannot get him to respond, because Deut now feels pain inside.
Duumke is smoking and he has nothing.
Deut lunges at Duumke and the children leer at it, suddenly, so mad is Deut that he tears the cigar end out of Duumke’s fingers, draws and sucks in such a way that there is little left of it.
Is Deut not allowed a draw, Duumke?
The children ask for Deut.
‘Come on, Duumke, give Deut a draw now.’
And you see, you have to experience it, you could die laughing, but it’s not like that either, you stand there watching and it does you good.
You find it pathetic and awkward, it is so nice.
What do you think of it, Jeus?
Everyone is now trying to influence Duumke.
He is now alone faced with ten children.
Children of three and three and a half years old ask Duumke to let Deut just have a draw.
But he is not mad, he would rather give away his life than that cigar stump, because he likes to smoke.
And smoking means so much to this soul.
But Duumke says: “No!”
Because Deut doesn’t ever give him anything either.
He saw that Deut was smoking yesterday and did Deut think of him then?
The children now experience this.
Jeus is just about crazy from the tension and Bernard sees it, and is also enjoying himself through Jeus.
A mite of three years old runs home to ask mother for a cigar for Deut.
The children cannot stand it any longer, Deut is starting to dribble and then it is bad.
Anneke Knie’s, also a mite of three years old, says that she will also fetch something for Deut.
But Duumke not crazy, he says to the little girl:
“You already told me that but there is nothing coming!”
Duumke is not that crazy.
The children have already had a beating at home because the fathers are missing their cigars.
This is all for Deut; Duumke will say ‘yes please’ to anything and everything, and that’s why it is like this.
Deut is still looking at everyone’s hands to see if there is anything in them.
He is on the scrounge and everyone knows, it is about a cigar, a piece of sausage and watching people.
What does Deut see?
Duumke is obstreperous, the children say, they don’t know what that is, but it makes you laugh.
Yes, then they have fun and then Duumke’s tapeworm talks out loud!
And that is also the craziest thing of all.
When Duumke is obstreperous the children ask him questions and then you hear:
“Have you got brothers as well, Duumke?”
“And are they just like you are, Duumke?”
“No, I am the only one”, is the answer to a question by a mite of three years old to a boy who is sixteen; the older child will give answers until the inner life thinks, damn, or, you can drop dead.
“Do you know, Duumke, that you have a tapeworm?”
“Yes, I know.”
“What is that, Duumke?”
Is there still not a cigar yet?
Then they can get the canary-roup.
For a half cigar you may ask Duumke anything and you will get an answer.
If you don’t have anything to contribute, you can drop dead.
Which he will immediately put into words.
But now Deut has to smoke.
Finally the children have got it that far.
Deut did not succeed, for Duumke is cautious as he voluntarily gives Deut a draw.
He holds onto the end himself, because he doesn’t trust his friend one little bit, and an end like that is worth a thousand.
Deut wants another draw, but Duumke flatly refuses.
A boy sees that, and points to Duumke’s coat, when he looks down, in a flash, Duumke has lost his cigar.
Just look at that pitiful sight now.
Tears come to his eyes, you sympathize with Duumke, but Deut draws on the cigar end and almost sucks it away in one draw.
Now it goes back and forth, the children follow Deut and they now do everything for Duumke, because Deut doesn’t realize that the end belongs to Duumke.
What can you do now, boys?
Jeus looks, he can understand the fun of the children.
The whole of the Grintweg is full of children.
The parents also come to watch, and you can hear their shouting at the bottom of the Grintweg.
Now a wonder happens for Deut.
He gets a fresh cigar and gives Duumke his petty end back, covered in Deut’s spit.
Duumke is already taking a draw, they are satisfied, and a while later Duumke wants to take a draw from Deut and the fun begins all over again.
‘Who did you get that cigar from, Duumke?’ the children want to know.
Duumke now tells them everything.
The children listen to him and immediately realize what Duumke is being used for.
Sometimes adults come there and they hear: leave Duumke alone.
Duumke tells everything, he doesn’t know the difference between good and evil, from father and mother.
He tells what they got up to at home; the children get to hear everything that they do.
And his healthy and strong brothers wanted to prevent that.
Then there were victims, and blood flowed as well, because this went too far.
But children are children, and a tapeworm remains a tapeworm, you will do anything for a piece of sausage.
Many adults got a beating from Duumke’s brothers and they were right about that, why did the adults interfere in this?
For a sausage sandwich they squeeze Duumke empty and if you follow that, you have to admit that a boy like that can do a lot of work.
They called that light jobs, but sometimes Duumke did the work of a strong man and that was abusing this life.
Jeus is enjoying himself today.
He thanks Bernard from the bottom of his heart.
Each moment Bernard gets to hear how wonderful he thinks it is.
He understands this game with Deut and Duumke.
And when Duumke suddenly surprised Deut and tore the cigar from his fingers, you could hear the screaming in Emmerik.
What fun the children have, but Deut is dribbling now, and that is bad.
Jeus has lain down next to Mrs Peters gate and is following everything.
He wants to know how Deut feels, that has significance for him now.
He wants to know why Deut is crazy.
What is that?
He wants to feel Deut, but understands that it is not so easy.
Duumke has still got the cigar and Deut is almost crying.
Bad Klink, who was watching the doings of the children from a distance, now approaches and gives Deut another cigar.
“And now no more arguments, understood, Duumke?”
“Do you want one as well, Duumke?”
“Yes please, Bad.”
Duumke also gets another cigar.
It is true, young and old yearn to hear Duumke say that, it sounds so nice and polite in your ears.
That does a person good.
The danger is over, they are now smoking and have forgotten their conflict.
Look at that Deut smoking, Jeus thinks.
Father can’t do it like that.
And the people, the men know, Deut smokes like a mayor.
Who did the simple one get that from?
Innerward Deut is now rich you can see that.
Sometimes men come to give Deut a smoke, only just to see him smoke, that is so nice, but also so rich.
Now and again they come and call him and then Deut smokes his cigar, you have to see it for yourself or you won’t believe it.
Bad Klink has spoilt the day for the children.
Now they have no fun anymore with Deut.
When he smokes he isn’t there anymore, then he is another person!
Then the rest of the world can drop dead.
Deut is so crazy, no one actually knows what it is!
That smoking of Deut doesn’t give you a moment’s peace; you have to dream about it!
It follows you, it creeps into your head, whether you want that or not, you feel this human appeal.
It is like a baron!
Was Deut once a baron?
“No”, Jeus utters to Bernard, “father can’t do it like that!
I should have known that before.”
Bernard feels what he means.
But then Jeus first has to know that he has seen the outside world today, and that was through him.
At the end of the day, Jeus is still a mite in Bernard’s eyes.
And then harsh words fall, when Bernard does not understand his brother because Jeus feels too big and too old.
Now they are thrown apart again and feel strange, especially when Bernard says that he is completely off the mark and does not understand the slightest thing about Deut and Duumke.
But what does Bernard hear now?
“Shall I tell you something, Bernard?
You just keep your rotten world, I’ll keep mine!” and that is a slap right in Bernard’s face.
Jeus is now an ungrateful swine.
Did that brat say rotten world?
Is this a rotten world?
Are Deut, Duumke and everything, which can be experienced here rotten?
You see Bernard cannot understand this.
Jeus thinks and Bernard has already forgotten it, but it is Bernard’s own fault, why did he have to get himself so worked up?
Has Bernard ever been to heaven?
No, he doesn’t know what it looks like there.
Jeus does and that is something completely different to the fuss of Deut and Duumke, that laughter of the children, even Fanny understands that, but not Bernard.
Jeus has learned to think today.
What his brother finds so marvellous, is like nothing ... and nothing is nothing!
You have to discover it for yourself and Jeus has, but Bernard doesn’t know that.
Jeus follows Deut in a different way.
He wonders why Deut sits exactly on that stone.
There are no longer any children for Duumke, who is sitting on the ground next to Deut smoking.
He does something.
Jeus follows these two friends, he descends into Deut’s body, because it lives there and he can talk with it.
Now he is inside, he feels and knows that silence.
There is another silence, which he sometimes experiences, which is not the same.
When the children come to him to play, there is that silence, which is different from Deut’s.
Deut has nothing to do with that.
It is Deut himself.
Jeus feels and sees it.
He can communicate with it, and Bernard cannot.
And that is a rotten world!
His world is another world, and no child nor anyone here are a part of it!
The rotten world of Deut is everything they possess.
Jeus pierces into Deut’s eyes.
Then he descends into Deut’s inner life, he continually tries the same, to feel and to look into that life.
Now he starts to feel the real Deut, he can talk to him.
He calls to the simple one: “Deut???’
Can you hear me?
Do you hear me, Deut???”
And see, Deut is looking at Jeus.
Isn’t that something?
Bernard cannot do that.
But it is very simple.
Everyone can do that, if you only want to feel and think, then it works.
And Jeus now feels that Deut also has some of it.
Deut is crazy, people say, but that is not true.
What is inside Deut is still sleeping and that is all.
Deut, Jeus feels, is only three years old.
Now he can feel Deut, Jeus has also become older.
As a result of this feeling his inner life changes.
He descends into Deut again and for Jeus these are the first foundations in order to learn and to think in a human and spiritual-scientific way.
No, Deut is not crazy, but Deut is not awake either.
But what does that mean for this world?
Why, Jeus, does Our Lord give you this feeling and Deut nothing?
Why did Our Lord allow Duumke a tapeworm and another child happiness?
Why did Our Lord give you everything, all these nice things?
Our Lord knows everything about it, Jeus, everything!
And He doesn’t press one child to 'His' heart in order to crush another to death, but that is all by the people themselves, Jeus.
And you will learn that also in this life.
Bernard doesn’t understand that and no one else either.
Talk a bit with Deut and you will hear him talking in yourself.
Jeus is now talking to Deut at a distance, and
No one can hear it, not a word passes his lips, but still he is speaking to him.
Deut is laughing and crying inside at the same time.
It is like the howling of a beaten animal.
The howling of a soul, a tortured being.
That life within is now howling.
That life wants to live and it cannot, that life is weeping.
It lives under a heavy weight, at least a thousand kilos weighs on that life, it is as if it is beaten to death, but through what?
Jeus sees that Deut cannot remove himself on his own strength.
Where Deut is living in, is a great mess.
Later, Jeus, much later, you will learn to know the laws of Deut’s condition and you will write books.
You will tell people in what condition Deut now lives and in what condition all those other people live, who have lost themselves like Deut, as it will appear, but that is not correct either.
Deut is truly awake, but does not live in day consciousness, but precisely below the normal social feelings and thoughts of a normal person.
Now that Jeus is looking at the other children and is also following Bernard, he knows that all these children possess none of it.
But a sun also shines in Deut and there is life to be seen, but that needs some time to break through and then Deut can also talk.
With Duumke it is raining, with Deut warmth can be felt.
Deut is a real person!
Now that he has experienced this, he jumps up and runs to Deut and asks the simple life:
“Deut, shall we become friends?”
The children think that is crazy.
But all the children ask if they can ensure his friendship, then they will no longer be crushed to death and nothing else can happen to them.
For Jeus this friendship is something completely different, he can help Deut with it.
He knows Deut Messing as no one knows him.
The children shout:
“Jeus has become a friend of Deut.”
It is a feast, real fun.
Deut has another friend, everyone in the Grintweg knows that.
All the children lie in wait for it; they want to possess Deut’s friendship, because Deut is powerful.
Such a giant is not to be taken lightly; friendship with Deut is like drawing a lucky number, and yet it is more than that.
And Deut, no matter how crazy he is, does not accept every friendship.
Some children have to beg for it and no one knows why Deut is like that.
He flatly refuses to accept a few children and this is not only a mystery to the children, but also to the parents.
Anyone who knows all that and has followed it, shakes his head, but wonders in addition: but what lives in such a simple head?
It is a psychology, which no one sees a basis for no city dweller knows about it.
Jeus now knows the secret of Deut, he has Deut where he wants him, he can do what he likes with him.
Bernard will soon have to agree with that and look on with big eyes.
“Yes”, the giant utters, “I want to be friends with you.”
And Deut promptly lays his huge hand on Jeus’ little hand, which disappears completely, but which he is not afraid of.
They are completely one for a moment, the children are already jealous and Bernard is also in a bad way now.
‘Goodness, isn’t that something?’
Jeus knows that he has diddled Bernard out of the nicest day of his life.
Bernard has had his eye on this for so long, but he has had to swallow the fact that Deut likes him today and will have nothing to do with him tomorrow.
Then Bernard can drop dead again, but what is the matter with Deut?
Why have these two suddenly become good friends?
Bernard thinks that Jeus only managed this through his flattery.
‘That is flattery, he throws in Jeus’ face.
He should have known, then Jeus would not have got this chance.
Jeus is standing there next to Deut and is still holding his huge hand and the simple one seems to like it.
From left and right resounds:
You can flatter, can’t you?
You pulled a fast one on Deut!”
Jeus doesn’t like it any more, he looks Deut in the eye and the simple one looks him in the eye.
“Aren’t they just vicious dogs, Deut?”
“Yes”, he hears back.
And that’s the way it is, Bernard.
Bernard carries on the most and almost jumps out of his skin from envy.
He cannot bear that; what a world, and the scolding starts all over again.
“Wait, ugly dope, I will get you yet.”
And to Deut:
“Deut, will you tickle him now to death?
Will you crush him to bits, Deut?
Will you just let him die for a while?
He is pulling a fast one on you under your very nose and he can flatter like anything.
Deut, there is the end of the road!
Deut, he has had the measles and scarlet fever.
Deut, he is crawling with lice.
Deut ...” there is no end to Bernard’s scolding, but Deut hears nothing and Jeus knows that this friendship cannot be destroyed.
Deut has felt him inside, no one can take that away from him.
Now that Bernard tries to tear Jeus out of Deut’s hands, Deut reaches for Bernard and would have crushed him to death.
Now there is no stopping it, Bernard is in a bad way.
“You will hear nothing more from me.
Ugly two-faced rat!
Did I bend over backwards every day for that?
That is mean, Bernard.
Now the children know that your little brother pees in bed now and again.
But you do that as well yourself, Bernard.
And it is so strange, the children do not react, they do not have to laugh about it, they know, they are all a bit loose underneath when they sleep, that is nothing new.
They look at Bernard, as if to say: ‘You do that yourself as well!’
No, you won’t succeed, Bernard, you will not get Jeus away from these hands, but here is someone else who can.
Suddenly, and that is also a miracle and a great mystery, Tall Hendrik is standing in front of Jeus.
Deut lets him go.
“What do you want with that madman?”
“Deut is not mad, father!”
“So, Deut is not mad.
But that is dangerous, isn’t it?”
“That is not dangerous, father!”
“What did you say to me?
Will you hold your tongue?”
Bernard explodes from pleasure, now Jeus will get a hiding, but Tall Hendrik heads for home.
Hardly a minute later Deut disappears and, really and truly, he also waves good day to Jeus as well.
Duumke follows Deut, the fun is over for today.
But he has got Deut as a friend.
Tall Hendrik asks him:
“How are you so sure that Deut is not mad?”
“I know, father!”
“But you can’t know anything, can you?”
Tall Hendrik, that is a shame.
In this way you will never have contact with your children.
You will not get to know him now, and it would be worthwhile, Hendrik.
Jeus thinks, it is a pity, that he cannot talk to his father about Deut.
Father knows nothing about Deut either, nothing!
Deut is not mad!
Deut is not mad!
No one can take that away from him, no father and no mother.
But Tall Hendrik has to laugh at the wisdom of the children.
Those mites, he thinks.
What adults do not understand, children think they know all about it.
Children’s brains behave as if there is no science.
Standing in the kitchen, Tall Hendrik says to Jeus: “Good heavens, what an insight into human nature you have achieved.”
Tall Hendrik tells Crisje briefly what happened, then Crisje wants to know why he came home so early.
“Is there something the matter, Hendrik?”
“No, Cris, there is nothing.
There is nothing!
I had to bring wine to the baron.
And I had done that quickly, really.
I thought then I would have a nice bit of time to myself.
And now I am here, Cris.”
“For whom was that wine, Hendrik, did you say?”
“I already said, for the baron.
He drinks the best wine, Cris.
But look what I have here.”
Tall Hendrik produces a bottle of wine of the very best kind.
“And the baron said to me, Cris, you must give that to your Crisje.”
“Did he say that, Hendrik?”
“As true as I am alive, Cris.”
“That is a complement for you then, Hendrik.
How happy I am for you.”
“And the baron said ‘Tall Hendrik’ to me, Cris.”
“That is also a complement for you, Hendrik, if people like that say it.”
“And when we were in his cellar, Cris, he also said to me, just pick one for yourself, Tall Hendrik, and for Crisje.
And when I had done that, Cris, I started to sing.
And when he heard me, Cris, he said that I should study.
‘Tall Hendrik’, he said, ‘that is a good voice.
That’s a pity, that you keep your voice for yourself, you should show it to the world.’”
“Did he say that, Hendrik?”
“Yes, but I had to laugh about it, Cris.”
Crisje devours her Hendrik, he has definitely earned that now.
And she knows that it doesn’t hurt him anymore, he has conquered this.
And that is a gift to her life.
“I believe”, says Hendrik, “that I sung like I have never sung before.
One aria after the other, Cris.
I gave it all I had.
I thought, what do you think you’re telling me?
Do I have to study as well?
I had to laugh about it, didn’t I?
I knew then, Cris, that he has no understanding of voices.
But then he should have heard that immediately.”
“Yes, Hendrik, that is true, of course”, but no one has to tell Tall Hendrik that he still needs lessons, so sure of himself is he, he knows exactly what he can and what he wants.
“They all stood listening, Cris.
And when I was finished singing, he said again that I should study and then I really had enough of it.
And if he hadn’t been a baron, then I would have told him a completely different story, you surely believe that, don’t you?
But come on, we will have a drink for ourselves.”
Hendrik pours, smacks his lips for a moment and then says to Crisje:
“That’s a really good one, Cris!
Good gracious, that’s a good one.
It comes from France.
We have this kind ourselves as well and only the rich people buy it.
It is good stuff and it is good for lice.
The boys appear.
Yes, the caps are already flying off, Tall Hendrik.
The boys shouldn’t try to keep on their caps.
That is respect for father and mother.
It is respect for Tall Hendrik!
Johan immediately throws his cap in a corner, but Bernard sometimes forgets it.
But Bernard cannot remember it.
Hendrik sees now as well that Bernard keeps his cap on his head for too long and then it is:
“Come over to me, Bernard.”
Jeus is already looking; he knows what is coming.
But then Bernard shouldn’t have pestered him.
But he can’t have it that Bernard gets a hiding, he looks his brother in the eye and gives him his sympathy; but the feeling that Bernard throws back at him means: ‘I don’t need you!
Bernard is not afraid of father.
“Why did you not remember that, Bernard?”
“I didn’t think about it, father.”
“And, Bernard, I want you to think of that always, understood?!”
“And this is the last time, Bernard, or I will lash out and throw you in the cellar.
Is there anything else, Bernard?”
“No, father, nothing!”
“Are you sure of that, Bernard?”
“Yes, father, I haven’t done anything.”
“Let me have a look.”
Hendrik looks the child in the eye.
But Bernard looks back; he does not bat an eyelid or blush for Tall Hendrik.
Now Crisje as well.
“Cris, come here.
Did he do anything to you today?”
“No, Hendrik, I have had no complaints.”
“He doesn’t even know what mischief is.”
“Stop that now.
Or do the other boys who have still to be born have to take off their caps?”
Crisje is right, Tall Hendrik feels, but order is order.
Bernard gets off with a scolding, but Bernard knows that if he forgets again he will get a beating.
Now, now, Johan, now, now, Bernard, all the boys, if they don’t want to listen to what father says, they will be sorry.
He looks them in the eye one by one.
Then dinner is served.
Which is always a feast for Tall Hendrik.
Then he enjoys his boys and feels as happy as Larry.
They are growing really well, they are becoming strapping lads, and are learning well.
Now that the boys are in bed and he thinks that they are sleeping, he asks Crisje:
“Since when does Jeus know about adults, Cris?
He said to me that Deut Messing is not mad.
But that is dangerous.”
“You do not need to worry about him, Hendrik.
He already knows Deut.
I already heard everything from Johan.”
The violin is now fetched from the cupboard for a moment, Hendrik plays and Crisje enjoys herself.
And there is another one who is enjoying himself, but not through Hendrik’s playing, but through the friendship of Deut.
Is there anything else?
Yes, there will be another child here.
Mother has become fatter.
He doesn’t know yet how that is, but he can see it!
The children were talking about it.
He heard it while playing with Deut.
Duumke said it as well!
But you wouldn’t be any the wiser from Duumke.
The children saw a woman with a big stomach and then they said ...?
What did they say again?
And then Deut started dribbling, but he will ask Bernard tomorrow, he knows everything.
What a pity that Bernard is now angry with him.
Deut ...?we have become friends.’
Jeus knows the simple one from inside and outside.
Father can sing and make music, but he can think.
He has to laugh about that incident with the caps.
But it must be part of father.
Are you already asleep?
Where are you now?
How are you sleeping?
Are you also lying with your little brother and your father and mother in the bedroom?
When Crisje and Hendrik lie down, he is still awake.
The child pretends that it is asleep, but Jeus observes those two there, they are sleeping just two metres away from him.
And wondering why is mother so fat.
His brains become exhausted from thinking, his life also needs sleep.
But does Crisje know that?
It is now as if feelings enter Crisje, they are thoughts, which stimulate her soul, and she absorbs, there is nothing to it.
Jeus sends these thoughts and feelings to his mother.
Even if the personality is not aware and day consciousness is disengaged, such spiritual contact still works, and cannot be broken by anything, even animals have it!
One life can now warn the other.
And whoever possesses these feelings now experiences this inner unity!
Which is something wonderful.
Whether it is also wonderful for Crisje, she still has to experience.
Then Jeus has to leave their room.
It is terrible, Jeus, even if you love being with father and mother, you have kicked yourself out.
See and know.
Crisje is already thinking in her sleep, that is dreaming, but she is getting those thoughts from Jeus.
Making Crisje realize that Jeus must move to another room to avoid any incidents.
Johan and Bernard will go upstairs, he and Gerrit will get the box bed and then they can manage for the time being.
Tomorrow Hendrik will get to hear about it.
Our Lord also knows!
Having children is a mercy.
But why does one mother have so many and another one doesn’t have any?
Isn’t that strange?
Having children is a blessing,
isn’t it, Crisje?
But why Crisje?
Jeus will give you an answer to all these questions one day.
And that answer is then for all people of this world.
Especially for people who want to know why they live on earth and why they are ‘mother’!
But that is something special, Crisje, true or not?
Tall Hendrik is not open to it, but he will also come to ask these questions.
Where he then lives is not important, it will come sometime, Crisje.
But there is much more.
Why does Our Lord not give children to mothers who long for them?
How many mothers aren’t there, Crisje, who want to be mothers, but there is something which denies them this mercy.
And why are there mothers, Crisje, who crush their own children to death, because they have become mothers and didn’t want that?
Jeus will also answer these questions one day!
Through me and through another being, Crisje, I, whom he has got to know as José!
I am a friend of Jeus, Crisje, but an invisible one, later the world will also get to know us.
I am old and young, Crisje.
Jeus sees me as José, for you I am very old and I understand everything.
I live in that sacred silence and I know the Parvis of Our Lord very well.
But I am waiting for the moment when I may start.
Actually, Crisje, we have already started, that with Deut was also something, through which we play his life.
Just look at his ‘Harp’, then you will know what we are capable of, and what he has to do later for Our Lord.
Now remove him from your room, Crisje, that sleepwalking now belongs to the past, we took care of that as well!
Now go to sleep!
Tomorrow will be an early day again ... and you will need all your strength.
But you are right, it is now also a boy again, but you will also have a girl and that child will then be called: Maria ... after your grandmother, isn’t that the case?
Good night, Crisje.
Life will go on!
Tomorrow you will see Jeus differently again.
In a week, Crisje, he learns enough for years, and nothing happens!