Jeus, I am dead, but I am still alive
Every year you experience that growing and blossoming of mother nature and later that dying off of life again; like summer changes to autumn, that is also the case for people and for all life.
All life physically undergoes that process and whoever is not strong is faced with the material disintegration, many people say that the miracle now closes the inner calyx, life goes to sleep, the physical cells have experienced their breathing space during the summer and what will now happen is very ordinary, but you have to prove what you can, and the need to do that is only felt by few people.
It all happens of its own accord!
How many of the millions of children of Our Lord stop for a moment to think about all of this and experience it again?
No one does it, because it comes back each year;
Also, because you are involved yourself, but it is something awe-inspiring because it is connected with ‘life and death’.
There are people who say, most people die in the autumn.
But then they analyse Mother Nature for themselves.
Whoever understands, descends deeper into this material; then you are a doctor, then you consciously know, because Mother Nature has placed you before her laws.
You are not afraid, but the doctor says: “Man, you are eighty, your own resistance has gone, and therefore take it easy.”
But if you are just past thirty-nine, then there is no question of fear and worry, the doctor tells you himself: “Don’t make me laugh, don’t try telling me anything, such a change means nothing for your body and character.”
Then you are calm, the words of the learned man mean everything to you, he must know!
However, Crisje is not so calm!
Hendrik is sick.
He is bothered by the change to winter, he has a cold.
And because of a touch of bronchitis, he cannot go out.
The doctor, who was called, laughed at Hendrik.
Because he knew him with his strong disposition, and his bubbling vitality.
That means nothing, Crisje, but do you not feel anything then, doctor?
Do you not feel that you cannot try telling anything to Crisje?
Even if she does not believe for herself that bad things will happen, a little adder lives inside her and that creature has been busy making her life bitter for so long, however a cold means nothing, of course, doctor, nothing!
You would sell yourself for a song, Hendrik thinks, because this is no life, he cannot bear that lying-down, that resting for no reason, he wants to work.
You simply appear to be deaf and dumb.
Now if you got a proper dose of pneumonia, then at least you would know you were ill, then you would have something to fight against, but this is nothing!
In any case, Tall Hendrik now has plenty of time to worry.
It is true, you are yourself for a moment, you are looked after really well and you can talk to your wife now and again, whom you see too little of, and carry out a conversation about everything.
You are at home for a while, which is nice, but you do not see that someone else is already sitting in your own chair.
And if you know his name and wish to listen, you will be frightened to death, but you are just forty years old.
You aren’t even forty yet, what do you want, Hendrik?
Such a snail’s pace eats away at your life and your character.
A November month like this has a strange character.
You are not sick and not healthy, but have a bit of everything, and that is all that slow pace, which Hendrik wants nothing to do with.
Is the Grim Reaper monitoring Hendrik, Crisje thinks?
She would really like to talk to him about the Grim Reaper, as she was able to experience that pleasure with Jan, but Tall Hendrik would die instantly.
Now you can keep quiet, but, oh my God, the nicest hours of your own life, and that of your love, are passing by.
Later, yes, of course, later you will be hopping mad, because you said nothing, but then it was just too late.
Your loved one is gone!
Anyone who now dares to look the Grim Reaper and life in the eye, they are the strong-minded, they are the conscious ones, they have space and stand for nothing; they look every event in the eye.
However, Hendrik cannot do that.
He is now occupied with himself, he plays football with his thoughts, and he thinks of his future.
Hendrik is lying there and building castles in the air.
What is a tapeworm?
What is heart failure?
He is shocked by these thoughts.
He does not want to think of serious matters, for him is the quartet a serious matter and the stage, consequently, if you think about these things you are occupied with something real, the rest of your world of thoughts does not consciously belong now, and you do not want to talk about it.
However, Crisje cannot talk about that, Tall Hendrik!
It is now a battle with yourself here.
It is also the battle with regard to your social life and consciousness.
A language is not spoken behind the scenes, such as French, German, Spanish and English, they are all meaningless.
Your own self says everything.
However, that language, or whatever it is, now speaks under and in Crisje’s heart, she already knows, it is from Our Lord!
What does Hendrik want to know about it?
Why is he not open to this bliss?
Why think about tapeworms and stages, about the crowing of a human voice like that, why does he think about these only human matters, anyway, which will disappear from the earth sooner or later, does he not know that temporary things always dissolve and have to accept the familiar grave?
Tall Hendrik appears to be having a nice rest, but he is not resting, he is worrying, he feels beaten, a cursed cold like that dominates your inspirations.
Yes, a triviality like that puts you out of the fight, which one you have to swallow.
Crisje is anxious inside, there is someone behind the stove, she feels it is the collar of ‘Jan Astral’, therefore spiritually changed into a collar, it is now not bleeding cancer, but a slight cold, this is the first symptom of the thick rope, which will soon kill and consciously smother life, but then it will have become a strong rope, which is capable of stopping the blood circulation and making that ticking inside stop.
But Hendrik doesn’t want to hear about it!
His companions come and visit him.
Peter, Gerrit and Jan Maandag, they hum and sing the new songs which they are studying for the following month, which he enjoys.
Peter sings the first strophes for him, followed by Jan Maandag and Gerrit, Hendrik would have liked to tune in and follow them, if only he hadn’t had this light bronchitis which is now stopping him from contributing to the whole.
Crisje thinks: those men might help Hendrik, you never know.
Is he happy again now?
No, and yet, yes, in a few days he will be fit again.
The doctor says: “Just get out of bed, that lying in bed is nothing for you.”
He gets up.
He is able to have a few bitters, but they do not taste right.
Yes, Hent, do you still remember?
I was on a spree for a while, just for a while, but a person needs something invigorating now and again.
That was the case.
Immediately after Bernard’s accident Hendrik let go for a while.
He was lax for a short time, it had touched him and then the bitters tasted really good.
However, he had too many.
It was bad, Crisje thought.
She had to show him what could happen, if Hendrik thought that he could lose himself.
Jeus had seen it.
Even at school, amongst all those children, Jeus was aware that his father was drinking.
When he told Crisje that and Hendrik was just above normal that day, he slid and bumped into the door post, he got to hear it and was immediately sober.
He gave her his word of honour that he would never do it again, the money was urgently needed for other things as well, and it could just not be missed.
Yes, Hent, but now I’m not enjoying the bitters.
It is strange, but you would do anything for a cold like that.
He quickly crawled under the blankets again, the doctor could tell him more.
However, Crisje found that strange and certainly not reassuring.
Tall Hendrik crawled back into bed?
That is something ... that could not go well.
It is in those days that Jeus dreams his father is going to die.
He is experiencing it.
Father is dead.
That is not possible.
Yet, that is the way it is: father is dead!
He experiences the dying with father.
When father was dead he said that he was still alive.
Jeus can understand that, he knows those laws, José and his Tall One are also dead.
However, they are alive as well!
Jeus sees that he is walking behind the coffin.
Father said to him that he would come back.
Suddenly he sees father walking behind his own coffin.
Gerrit is walking next to him.
Jeus wants to copy the large footsteps of father.
Gerrit sees it, he thinks that he wants to imitate father and now they have an argument behind father’s coffin.
“Are you not ashamed?
Are you trying to imitate father?”
When he said to Gerrit that father was there as well, Gerrit poked him in the ribs.
Jeus replies with:
“But don’t you see, Gerrit, that father is there, that father is walking in between us?”
No, Gerrit can’t see that, and then they shuffled along behind father’s coffin to the church.
Afterwards Jeus wakened and thought about what he had dreamt.
Should he say something to mother about it?
Hendrik honestly said to Crisje, when he once got out of control: ‘Just lash out, Crisje.
But I had fun for a while.’
Now that fun has gone.
Crisje would now like him to be able to drink five hundred bitters.
He can’t get excited about it; they do not taste nice to him.
Now Hendrik is thinking.
His conscience is clear.
He can have a good think.
Jeus has accepted his dream.
What will now happen does not yet get through to him, he is waiting for the following dream, also from behind his father’s coffin, when he goes along to bury himself.
That is extremely interesting, something new, because you cheat people by doing that.
There is a deathly silence inside Hendrik, but he is kidding himself.
He wants to talk about what interests him, the quartet, the stage, and the boys, because Bernard has not yet lost his voice.
That voice is still there, it remained outside Zutphen-Emmerik.
Crisje is a saint, Hendrik thinks.
How can he deal with everything, that deep love of Cris?
His respect for Crisje grows every second, increased by happiness, he rests now and again and then Crisje hears him dreaming, it is as though he is delirious, but it isn’t that, is it?
What will our singing be like next time?
How will they receive the new songs?
He keeps wanting to talk.
Crisje goes along with it, but Hendrik wants nothing to do with what she wants to talk about, that is too serious and too far removed from his life.
“It’s amazing how a person can build castles in the air, Cris?”
“Yes, Hendrik”, he hears from his loved one.
“But Our Lord knows it, Cris.”
“Yes, Hendrik, that is true.
He knows it.”
A moment’s silence, then Crisje gets to see her chalice.
First Jan, then Bernard and now Hendrik as well.
Is that possible?
Is that possible?
She is crying inside until her tears run dry.
Hendrik does not see or feel it.
But what’s the matter with Fanny?
What is wrong with that dog, Cris?
Fanny feels more than Hendrik does.
Fanny sees the Grim Reaper behind the stove.
Fanny bites his calves, flies over Hendrik, runs through the kitchen like a wild animal and wants to bark until the Grim Reaper leaves, but he does not bother about Fanny’s howling, he deliberately continues.
Jeus hears Fanny’s howling.
“You just come to me, Fanny.
I know what you are feeling.
But I will tell you something.
I know as well, Fanny.
Something is about to happen here.
But did you not see mother looking then?
Did you think that mother was stupid?
Will you keep quiet, Fanny?
Do we have to bring misery upon mother already?”
The dog no longer howls.
The animal understands everything.
Then Tall Hendrik must take responsibility.
It thought it should warn him, but he does not see or feel it.
Shouldn’t that man behind the stove leave?
Fanny feels it; Hendrik doesn’t, what is inside him is not open to spiritual sensitivity, you have to lose yourself a thousand times and Hendrik does not want to lose any of himself, what belongs to him remains his!
“Fanny, father will come back”, Jeus says to the animal when Fanny forgets himself for a moment and lies down next to the Grim Reaper.
“But what do you see?” Crisje asks the dog, which looks up now and again and then follows someone who is walking through the kitchen.
You can see it, Fanny is following that life.
Crisje knows what that means, but she is silent, she knows now, the preparation is over.
Just come now, nothing can be changed about it, anyway.
The final hours, Tall Hendrik!
Have you nothing more to say?
A fortnight has gone ... you have not spoken a word about yonder, or anything about eternal reunion.
Have you nothing more to say?
It is still possible, you still live here, it will soon be over.
You will no longer be heard, even if you can still be felt.
No, Hendrik is sitting at the table for a moment, it is five o’clock in the afternoon.
Little Teun says:
“Just get into the coffin”, which Hendrik has to laugh about.
Crisje deals with it.
How is it possible?
Have all those children foresight?
Her Hendrik is leaving.
She does not want to think about it yet, that is for later.
He may not feel or know anything.
Does a child like that know what a coffin is?
Does an insignificant mite like that understand dying?
Crisje is extremely shocked.
Hendrik doesn’t feel anything, but goes back to bed.
He is feeling a little tired today, that cursed cold.
He also said to Crisje:
“Did you hear that, Cris?
He wants me in the coffin already.”
In bed he can have a good rest.
Hendrik does not sweat, he does not get that far, but Crisje is sweating blood, however she cannot cry, of course not.
Pray now, Crisje.
Pray day and night.
Crisje, who follows the ‘Way of the Cross’ for everything, cannot believe in it now, her prayers come back to her.
Is that not the answer?
Now you can no longer pray, now you have to lay everything in HIS hands and bow your head.
The chalice for her personality is on the table.
The Grim Reaper brought it.
Its contents are important.
She drinks from it continually.
This wine is like poison, but she drinks.
‘The Reaper’ sees ... this chalice is almost empty.
When Hendrik rests, and closes his eyes for a moment, Crisje takes her chalice in her hands and takes a drink.
But Hendrik ... do you not hear anything, do you not see anything?
She does not send any thoughts to Our Lord, which question HIS life.
She does not understand it yet, but it is there.
Her life cannot be brought to resistance.
She says one Our Father after the other to herself.
For the peace and quiet of Hendrik.
So that his eyes may open!
Protect him from evil.
Take him to the Parvis!
Show him what I know and what we were able to receive from Jeus.
Does Hendrik not hear this?
Is there no question of unity?
Does he not feel anything?
No, nothing at all!
That he may dwell in Your paradise!
Take away every wrong thought from Hendrik.
Take him into your heart!
For God’s sake, I give it into Your hands ...
Does Hendrik still have nothing to say?
When the Grim Reaper was sitting on the edge of his bed, in order to look him in the eye, ‘the Reapers’ first touch reached him with his familiar conversation, however, it still did not get through to Hendrik that this was intended for him, he did not even listen.
What he feels is, a sick feeling living inside, he feels like something savoury to eat, what would you say, Crisje, to a rollmop herring?
No, I’ve changed my mind Cris, it is going away.
Then Crisje heard:
“Cris, but my Cris.
It is all different, I believe.”
Yes, that is the case.
Nine o’clock, it becomes twenty-five past nine, a while later ten o’clock.
There is still no change.
Shouldn’t there be a priest here?
A doctor can no longer help Hendrik.
Gerrit Noesthede pays a visit.
“How are you, Hendrik?”
“The same, Gerrit.
We will soon begin, Gerrit.”
The children are lying there as well.
Miets and Teun are sleeping with father and mother.
Do the children not feel anything?
Fanny is there as well, it came to have a look, which it never does.
The animal sees that the Grim Reaper has gone.
Fanny goes back to Jeus; he is awake.
He is sleeping temporarily in the box bed with Gerrit.
It is so quiet, that one can hear the mice running through the house.
He is dreaming while fully conscious.
Did you not see that there?
Wasn’t that father?
How quiet it is tonight.
It is much nicer sleeping upstairs, you have space there.
Why do he and Gerrit have to sleep downstairs now?
Crisje felt that when they have a cold I would rather have them near me.
Jeus does not feel anything; he does not have the cold, and a bit of coughing like that means nothing.
How quiet it is tonight.
Do you understand this silence?
Gerrit is already sleeping soundly.
Jeus cannot sleep.
Something is keeping him awake.
What is that?
Who was walking there?
That man was just like father.
But that is not possible, father is sick and is lying in bed.
He hears whispering.
Gerrit Noesthede is with father and mother.
Suddenly the door opens and Gerrit races off.
Where is Gerrit going so suddenly?
Twenty minutes later Tall Hendrik receives the last rites.
Father is there.
But with the priest here, his dream comes back to him.
Father is going to die now, but his father will be back, he is kidding them all.
Good heavens, how we will laugh.
They hear him laughing in the kitchen.
Now the priest leaves.
Aunt Trui is also there with uncle Gradus.
What is he mumbling about?
But what a lot of noise they are making there.
Does father not have to rest?
Should father not die peacefully?
May father not leave peacefully?
Hendrik says farewell to his friend, Father.
The good man cannot understand it, he is not even forty years old.
My God, but why?
Is this human?
Can You approve of Deut Messing remaining alive and this man, who has a dear wife and seven children, passing over?
Why are You destroying this household?
Our Lord, how hard it is to understand You, no one can understand this!
“Cris, my dear Cris, everything is different!
It has become completely different!!
I have nothing more to say!
But watch out for Gerrit, Cris.
Cris ... Cris ... watch out for him, he has pranks, Cris.
I can no longer change him ... no, not me ... Cris ... My de...ar, de...ar Cris!”
Hendrik has gone, heart failure put an end to his life.
To this life, at least.
He will now open his eyes for the next life.
However, they are still ‘extremely blind’ ... in all those years he did not want to use them for even five seconds.
He himself shut his material eyes.
He spared his dear Crisje that.
When he felt and started to understand that it was serious, he immediately became himself once more.
He will spare her that, there isn’t any more,
Tall Hendrik, there is nothing else, that is everything for Crisje, and her seven children, which you leave behind for her.
There is not a single cent!
How is it possible?
Is he sleeping?
Yes, but you will not be able to waken him now, Gradus.
He is stone-dead for this world.
You don’t understand that, do you?
That surprises you, it can even happen to you later and soon as well.
Now you are starting to think.
Crisje has thought, and because of that, she knew.
Life is like that, Trui.
You are suddenly faced with the Grim Reaper,
And now everything is over.
Hendrik already hears:
“Turn left, Hendrik!
Come just follow me.
Watch out, there is the table.
You are now walking through it, but in the beginning you think that you will bump into it and that frightens you.
You must not be frightened here.
That only makes you anxious, and the things which you will now get to experience, Hendrik, represent deadly seriousness.
Now just turn right.
But look, there is the hallway already.
And yonder in the front room, in the box bed, you know that, we therefore do not have to go upstairs and that is also very interesting, that is where Jeus is lying.
And he wants to see you now; you can talk to him for a moment.
Now you will get to know one of your children, Tall Hendrik!
You may talk to him, but then we will leave here quickly.
I just want to show you the trees and the flowers of Our Lord, because it will strengthen and relieve you, for later.
You may then admire HIS universe, HIS light, life and love for a short while.
Do you not have your full senses, Hendrik?
Yes, we look like each other.
Jeus thinks that I look a lot like you, but my moustache is nicer, Jeus says.
Don’t pay any attention, you know what children are like.
However, you are a child here ... and you will learn from Jeus, because he is old for this world, Hendrik.
Watch out, that is the door of the front room.
Just carry on.
Just give me your hand, then you can see a bit more, through me you have now received living light in your eyes.
Isn’t that wonderful, Hendrik?
Yes, of course, my hair is slightly longer than yours, my hair reaches my shoulders.
You used to wear your hair just like that.
However, you will also learn to understand all that.”
“Gerrit, wake up, father is dead.
But Gerrit, father is dead.”
“Let me sleep.
Are you dreaming again?
I want to sleep.”
“Gerrit, father is dead, but wake up.
Here is father, Gerrit ...”
Jeus looks his guardian angel in the eye and he sees his father next to his Tall One.
The angel nods, he must listen for a moment.
“Be quiet, Jeus, just let Gerrit sleep for a while.
Now you must listen carefully.
Father has something to say to you.”
Hendrik speaks to his son and says:
“Jeus, do you hear me talking to you?”
“Of course, father.”
“You must tell mother, that I will come back and that she must not worry.
I am dead, Jeus, but I am alive.
I will come back and soon as well.
Good day, Jeus.”
“Gerrit, wake up!”
Aunt Trui comes; they must get dressed.
Jeus asks aunt Trui: “How is father?”
Trui replies: “Father is fine, but you must get up.”
“Dirty liar, father is dead.”
He runs past his aunt, into the kitchen.
“Aunt Trui is lying, father is dead, but father is still alive.”
Crisje already hears:
“Mother, father is not dead, father is alive.”
He takes a look at his father, who was just with him and is now lying here dead, but who will come back shortly.
Gerrit wants to sleep; does he not believe it?
It does not concern him.
Trui pushes him out of bed, but he says crossly:
“Good grief, let me sleep, I have nothing to do with you.”
Jeus supports Crisje, he throws his arms around her neck and begs her to believe him.
Father is not dead, father will come back, and this is only for a while.
Father told him himself; now couldn’t mother accept that?
He now hears that he and Gerrit are going to Mrs De Man, they will sleep there.
At that drunken woman’s house?
Must they sleep with that woman?
Little Hendrik, Miets and Teun move to aunt Trui’s.
Little Teun was proved right, his father is going into the coffin.
Johan and Bernard sleep with other family members.
They have lost father.
Johan and Bernard understand it, not Jeus, father will be back.
Yes, Tall Hendrik, you must now go back, and that is for yourself, for Crisje and Jeus, and for this whole unaware humanity.
That is now the order of Our Lord, and Jeus serves for this purpose!
This is the proof in order to knock the crown from the ‘Grim Reaper’s head.
However, with one blow this beautiful unit has been torn apart.
Through one blow, hunger and misery are already lying in wait.
Through one such mean blow hearts are beaten to a pulp, misshapen and squeezed out; spiritual suffering came in the place of this, in the place of this happiness, this bliss.
And that in a fortnight, results of a little cold like that, even the learned doctor had to laugh about it.
This blow is a hit.
Does the life of Deut Messing mean more than that of Crisje and her Tall Hendrik?
How can Our Lord approve of this?
You would want to skin Him.
You cannot reach Him.
Crisje does not try that, she knows better, but now she cannot understand life either.
Praying does not help you, if you have to die here, then you have to accept it.
Your castles in the air are beaten into hazy shreds.
What still appeared before you full of growth and blossom yesterday, is stone-dead now.
Grim Reaper, what a rotter you are!
Who will get to know you?
What kind of dirty animal are you.
One thing is true, Crisje’s fear, that secretive feeling has now disappeared completely.
That feeling, and that fear have taken off.
They have changed themselves because of human suffering, they left an emptiness behind.
And it is awful.
Yes, now that sick feeling has suddenly disappeared.
Crisje is now experiencing the pure understanding!
Is that not remarkable?
You would say so ...
Now that Jeus is standing in Mrs De Man’s kitchen, he feels that this one-eyed soul is not so wretched after all.
“Do you want some water to drink, Jeus?”
“Yes please, Mrs De Man, I got a bit of a shock.”
Gerrit is already sleeping.
He talks to Mrs De Man, and they understand each other.
“Why do they always have to drink like that here, Mrs De Man?
Can you not control those men?”
“But you know what men are like, Jeus?”
“Yes, I know, Mrs De Man, from time to time you would like to smack their bare bottoms, wouldn’t you, but then they would just laugh at you.”
“Of course, Jeus”.
“But, my God, Mrs De Man, how the old De Man can let rip.
In our house we can hear him swearing on Saturdays.
Can he not cope with drinking gin?”
“And still drinking, Mrs De Man.”
“Yes, is that not terrible, Jeus?”
“That is enough to drive you mad.
But I am going to sleep, good night, Mrs De Man.”
“Good night, Jeus, sleep well.”
“Thank you, Mrs De Man.”
“My pleasure, Jeus.”
Father is lying on the other side of the wall, he thinks.
However, here in this house they throw burning stoves and swear like troopers.
What kind of people are they?
Mrs De Man is a good person.
Theet is his friend, but here they scream like wild pigs, and now he has to sleep here.
Only this wall is between him and father.
Theet still has his father.
So does he, father is not dead, he will come back.
What is the matter with these feet again, they are so cold.
He feels himself becoming drowsy, he is taking a trip on the clouds again.
Suddenly he is standing next to his body.
His inner eyes look through the walls, father is lying there.
He sees, Gerrit is sleeping deeply, he can now hear him snoring as well.
But there is father.
Walls are like clouds.
There is the kitchen.
He places himself behind the stove; he wants to know what that looks like from this world, and how it feels.
He sees everything, there is the table with the cups on it, the clock is hanging there, and he hears the clock ticking.
Everything lives, nothing is dead, he feels the stones on which he is walking, and they feel cold, does father not know this?
Mother was sitting there.
This afternoon father was still sitting at the table, Teun and Miets were sitting there, and now they are lying there sleeping.
They do not know that he is there.
No, Teun and Miets are sleeping at aunt Trui’s.
Father and he are alone at home.
Now he will have a look.
‘Still exactly the same’, that is what father is.
Father has not turned over; father is resting, but is kidding everyone.
However, father is horribly white around his mouth, but his beard and moustache are still there.
He sits down at the end of the bed and looks at his father.
Clouds float around father and he sees light coming from these clouds.
That is exactly like when he was playing with the balloons, exactly the same!
He has still not forgotten that.
Father, I am here!
He sees Tall Hendrik in the clouds.
“Father, my father.”
Tall Hendrik is holding him in his arms.
But Jeus also sees his guardian angel.
He now sees them both.
His Tall One winks at him; he feels, everything is okay now.
His father presses his child against his chest; it is a royal mercy, a gift from Our Lord for his life.
What did he do to deserve this?
Hendrik says to him:
“Jeus, but my Jeus.
Now I know where you were looking all those years.
Now I know!”
“Are you going back, father?
Mother cannot do without you for too long.”
“Yes, but that will take a little while, Jeus.”
“You can enter your body just like that, father.
I also left my body, father.”
“I know that, Jeus, but for me it is something completely different.”
Then his guardian angel says: “You must listen carefully to me, Jeus, father is now going to work for Our Lord.
And that is something completely different than there, you know that.
You must now take good care of mother.
And you must now go to sleep, for tomorrow is another day.
Father is now going to Our Lord.”
Tall Hendrik can still talk to Jeus for a moment.
Jeus is now lying in the arms of his master the Tall One.
Some day he will be able to find out that this is Anthony van Dyck, he was a great master in art, who has already accomplished a mighty task for Our Lord, and has now continued his life in order to bring humanity the highest thing of all.
Then Jeus is the cosmic instrument for this century and for the University of Christ!
Now the first foundations are already being laid, this is all proof in order to knock the Grim Reaper’ crown from his horrible head, and for which millions of people on the earth serve!
Did Christ not say: after ME it will take place?
Jeus is one of them!
And he will become the greatest of all!
There will no longer be an instrument above him, because Jeus will experience and receive the highest.
Jeus descends into his body and drifts into normal sleep.
“Come, Hendrik, now you are sitting on my bike.
You can cycle.
I will now show you the way, which will take us straight to one world, created from all the millions by God.
Turn left, Hendrik, just for a moment, afterwards you can no longer get lost.
So, we have left the built-up area, we have said goodbye to Mother Earth and all her children.
Now I will tell you something beautiful, Hendrik.
We are now in the Divine space.
Just do not ask me any questions, because it is too much for your personality.
You would only succumb, Hendrik.
Before Jeus was born, Jeus and I were one in this world, and we prepared ourselves for our mighty task, on which we are already working now.
I will now take you to the Parvis of Our Lord.
You will have a rest there for a moment.
You will experience beautiful dreams there, Hendrik, they are visions, so that you will be prepared because we must go back again.
However, you must want to experience your own funeral, Hendrik?
I said to Jeus that you would return.
I did that to prove to this humanity that you live behind the coffin.
From the highest source, Hendrik, I received my task, because now, in this century, the Grim Reaper must die, and not we as people!
You will serve for the University of Christ ... Hendrik.
All of us will!
Your task there is over!
All of us will take care of your dear Crisje, and you will get to know those laws.
Now you are able to play your violins differently, Hendrik.
Accept it, we now live in deadly seriousness, meaningless nonsense will take you to other worlds, you will also get to know that.
Do you see, Tall Hendrik, that the universe is changing?”
On the way, Hendrik falls asleep.
The master of Jeus lays him down and goes back.
Hendrik now receives his visions, he will experience powerful laws during this sleep, and later, when he is completely conscious, he will experience and follow them as a spiritual personality, and only then will he be faced with his end, his Crisje, and he will know why he had to die so young on earth!
Tall Hendrik has accepted his eternal evolution!
Hendrik is not dead.
Crisje’s Tall Hendrik is alive!
Jeus will receive the laws of this.
Hendrik must go back to bury himself, which is itself a great miracle for every person on earth if the personality has not obscured himself for this light.
He is sleeping yonder, in a sphere precisely underneath spiritual reality.
Every thought of love is now a foundation of light in order to be able to look into that space.
Hendrik was a good person, he gave his personality for good and beautiful things, but he does not yet have the mighty childlike qualities of Crisje, with her universal thoughts and feelings, but he will become familiar with that sacredness.
Pansies blossom around Tall Hendrik.
He will not have to pick them later, because they are not his.
He will now start to make a Parvis of his own life.
He gets hold of that possibility.
The God of all life created this independence for every person.
Hendrik lives in the silence of Our Lord.
He now knows nothing of his life on earth, but still, he will follow many lives, until he will lie down next to Crisje in the kitchen and will hear the prayer:
‘Tower of David ... pray for us!
Ark of the Covenant, pray for us! ... and then he will take off as quickly as he can, because he will have got to know the truth.
Hendrik was on Our Lord’s bike.
‘Bernard, your father now knows.
If Marinus Jaspese had one like that, he wouldn’t have to do anything again, the whole of this humanity would come to hire that bike from him, and that thing, Bennad, cannot be destroyed by cycling.
You fly through everything with it, material is now no longer significant!
Crisje dear ... Hendrik is already hitting himself during his sleep.
Is it clear?
See you soon, Crisje!