Jeus the seer (2)
He is walking up the Zwartekolkseweg with Teun, they have been to the woods.
He is in thought, because he does not know what he must do, this tramping about is starting to bore him, and he cannot live from playing football.
What should he do, Casje?
Have you not worked it out yet?
What that lieutenant told him is now nonsense; they have forgotten Sissy.
He must first just have a good rest for his dear Crisje, because he has been in a bad way.
They do not see anyone in the woods; but who is that?
Teun, just look, do you not recognize that step?
My God, it is Irma, Teun; it is my girlfriend.
Yes, it is her!
Teun runs back to mother, Jeus is anxious to discuss many things with her.
Do you now see that people are mean?
“What has happened to you, child?
What did they do to you?”
“Good day, Jeus!”
He has to think first.
He will believe her, but, which part of it is true, are they all lies?
“The Governor wrote to me, Irma, what that woman wrote to me does not mean anything to me, but what did you do to that Governor that he should write to me that you are a slut?
Here, read it for yourself.”
Can you no longer trust me then, Jeus?
Do you not know then that people are jealous?”
She bites a piece off his heart, she hangs on his life, he cannot cast her out of his soul, Casje, and Jeus will accept her again!
He has not given her freedom for a single second.
Did he not know it?
Is that not just scandalous?
“I love you, Jeus.
I suffered so much there.
Can you understand that?”
“Yes, of course, I was in jail myself, after all.
But what awful people live in the world anyway, if a Governor like that already grabs onto a person, makes a person look bad?
Come on, dear; do not cry any longer.
What did mother say?
We will go home, just come on; we will be welcomed there with open arms.
However, I must tell you something, Irma, listen carefully to me.
I am a poor boy.
I already told you that.
I believe you in everything.
If I ever hear one thing about you, if I really have to accept that you have been bad, that you are cheating me on purpose, then it will be over once and for all.
But I must see it myself, I will not listen to gossip, I have unlimited faith in you, because I do not want to miss you for all the money in the world.”
He will get his own words back, and now, to Crisje.
Crisje does not say anything, she does not know anymore, her story, they know that, hundreds of thousands were caught between that area of three hundred metres and it is acceptable.
Crisje has not seen any bad things from her yet.
And Jeus must decide for himself.
I can, Jeus thinks, cycle on the stage, he is a good acrobatic cyclist, he can remove the wheel from the bike while cycling, and he can cycle on one wheel as well.
No, he will go with her soon, he will not get better work and father can make good use of him, he must join father’s business.
Is Irma not good?
Are you still worried about my girlfriend, Crisje?
She does not know, she must see it first, but Jeus is mad!
And then they can marry in Germany.
Casje, do you hear it?
Can you not do anything?
Irma has him completely under her power.
Is everything that you did in all those years nonsense then?
Whom should we believe now?
Jeus gets to wear a brown suit and goes along to the parents of Irma.
Isn’t that something, Crisje?
He is leaving home, he will work in Hanover, and he will be his own boss.
Of course, the son-in-law will join the business and he will love those people.
Now to that ‘Stolzen Fels am Rhein’, with his angel, it couldn’t be better.
He cannot live from playing football.
Jeus is leaving.
He will write.
Irma is happy.
In the train, his love becomes sweet and silent.
What is the matter, child?
Why are you so quiet?
Are you not happy then that you are going home and that I am with you?
The child becomes quieter; but what is the matter?
They arrive home by taxi, he cannot get enough of it, and he has never made such a journey.
There it is.
Now he will know immediately.
The shoe shop is there.
The name is written on the big window, all that is as sound as a bell.
And she has a mother as well, there is mother, are you not going to throw your arms around her?
No, what’s the matter?
“What were you up to, Irmgard?
Our Lord only knows how bad you are.
You were gone a whole year, Irmgard.
What have you done with all that money?
My God ...”
And with a glance at Jeus:
“Does that person understand German?”
“Yes, mother, Jeus knows it, he has understood everything”, it is terrible.
Irma does not say anything except: “yes, mother, he has understood everything.”
And as if that was not enough, her father storms into the room and gives her a good talking to.
Should he now continue to doubt any longer that his girlfriend is bad?
Her parents say it themselves.
A while later they are sitting at the table.
They would rather be rid of him; you can feel that from everything, those people are not happy.
The father almost sucks him empty.
He is studied from top to toe and then her father says:
‘What is Jeus doing here, Irmgard?’
He hears she is worse than a street girl, worse than a dirty slut, and her parents say that in his very presence.
His brown suit looks crumpled; it is hanging on his body.
You do not have anything special for twenty guilders.
But how stupid, when he was doing his national service he gave all his clothes to Johan; when Johan got married he had nothing and Jeus had everything.
And what do you do then, if your brother has no suit and you do not need those things?
He can press his army clothes, can’t he, and he will look smart again.
He feels all too well that they are studying him, and that they would prefer to kick him out the door.
You achieve everything with politeness, you achieve everything with love, are these people not pleased to see their daughter again?
Mr. Mayor knows all about it, why has she caused her parents such sorrow?
They talk about his love as scandalous.
The man talks about ‘prügel’ and he has not forgotten that word yet, he knows what it means.
But they do nothing, mother makes coffee, father goes back to his business.
Irma talks sweetly; mother kisses her and begs her child never to do a thing like that again.
However, there is something wrong here and he would like to know that.
“Come with me, Jeus.”
He follows her, as they climb the stairs.
Not to the attic, but to the rooms.
Which one would you like, Jeus?
The red or the blue room?
Would you rather sleep in the green room?
Good heavens, how rich these people are.
Everything looks excellent, it is high fashion, and she has not lied about that either.
Irma decides to explain herself:
“Look, Jeus, I have been in Amsterdam, Rotterdam and The Hague.
I used up my own money, because my parents were never kind to me.
I lied, of course, but I only wanted to tell you this now or you would not have believed me anyway, would you?
Can you understand that, Jeus?
I could not stand it here, Jeus.
My parents moan day and night, and are mean.
I am young and so are you, we must see a bit of life, and they just refused to understand that.
I am their only child, but they work hard enough to support ten children; is that so hard to understand?”
He now understands everything.
She had also taken off, that is plain to see.
She has cast Casje out of his life again.
Jeus has chosen the blue room, and she will sleep downstairs.
Mother does not trust her and that is also understandable.
Good gracious, how rich these people are, Crisje.
He will be well off, Crisje; it couldn’t be better.
Casje, where are you?
The mother already likes him.
She feels that he is a good boy and she says so herself.
‘Irma, Jeus is good.’
He is her true love, Jeus is so ... charming ... there is no one like Jeus, mother.
Does Jeus not like homemade coffee?
You must just eat what there is; we have nothing more.
Why did Irma not bring all sorts of things back?
The money was finished.
She bought fun for it, he must understand that, but he does not.
Irma lives here like a countess, he does not want to lose his girlfriend for all the money in the world, at least if the parents will accept him!
Of course, that will be fine, Jeus, but after three days they already want rid of him.
And after a few more days, he already hears: ‘when will he leave?
There is nothing to do here, what does Jeus want to do?
Don’t make me laugh.
Now what, Irma? Back home, there is nothing else for it!’
Jeus feels like a prince in his blue room and does not know what he should make of it.
He understands that she needs him as a buffer and that he has done his service.
His angel consoles him that everything will be okay.
However, there is nothing to be earned here.
She promises him the earth ... He served for that earth ... now the lady is back home, but he now knows about that ‘Stolzen Fels am Rhein’, and chokes on the sweet potatoes that the people have here.
“The war has destroyed everything, including my daughter”, and he can understand that.
Ten days later he is ready to leave, they would sooner see the back of him.
Irmgard is destined for something completely different.
Mister Officer has his prospects, Mister Jeus has nothing, absolutely nothing, what will Mister Jeus do any longer?
Eat and drink here?
But ... it is fine, you know, I am out of here already!
The gypsy girl sees him off, the train is ready to leave, she is even crying.
“Jeus, I will save up, and then we will marry.”
His heart is breaking, he believes her without question, everything will be fine, in a few months, she will have everything sorted, and then he can work here.
Crisje hears everything.
“What were those people like, Jeus?”
“Those parents, mother, they are good people.
And they are extremely rich, that man is in the town council, mother.”
“But that is not a girl for you, Jeus.”
“I am crazy about Irma, mother, and I just can’t get that out of my system.”
He convinces Crisje that she loves him.
He will get work and then they will get married.
Casje has nothing to say, and he is not there anymore either.
What happened in the past is nonsense.
Jeus works in the woods with Teun, they dig up tree stumps and play football.
That is all, there is nothing else to do.
He is a farmer, a very ordinary labourer, no more than that, and feelings inside no longer mean a thing.
Too much feeling in a person is enough to drive you mad.
He trusts everything; and everything will soon be different.
It is Saturday, he just got her last letter, everything is absolutely fine there.
Tomorrow, they are playing football in Duisburg.
She writes that she is saving like mad and that she is doing everything to get him here to work, Mister Mayor, who is a friend of father and likes her, is thinking about us.
Then afterwards he can join the business, because father is getting old and mother wants us to get married here.
Is that not sweet, Jeus?
Irma is a treasure, she will not cheat him, she could not help this, it was the circumstances.
He is lying in the attic, and everything is ready for tomorrow.
With the letter held to his heart, he falls asleep.
What is that?
In his sleep, he gets to experience a wonderful vision.
He is dreaming, but almost awake at the same time, he knows what he sees and hears.
Jeus sees that Irma is in Emmerik.
That is not possible, because she has written to him but he sees it.
She is sleeping in a hotel in the Kasstrasse and that was fine, he can understand that, she probably had something to do, but he sees that a boy is sleeping next to her and that is the hotel keeper’s son.
He knows that boy, Willy.
The blood rushes to his head and he is awake at the same time.
He knows the whole hotel, he knows exactly in which room she is sleeping.
My God, if that is true?
The vision lives under his heart.
He cannot free himself from it, he will convince himself immediately.
But this is the truth.
He saw even more, she left two days before, has just let another person post her letter.
After a fortnight, the daughter has disappeared again.
She is bad, he now knows for definite, it is terrible.
The Zutphen-Emmerik tram takes him to the Mühlenweg, another bit to walk and then he is faced with that Kasstrasse.
He says to his friend:
“Come on, Jan, just come with me.’
Jan has read the letter, he knows everything, Irma is in Hanover.
“As sure as we will win 3-1 today, as sure as Irma is sleeping in that room.”
“Have you gone completely mad, Jeus?” Jan says to him.
“No, I am not mad, just look for yourself.”
Jeus will get her out of the room.
He looks up, she appears there from that corner, that little room.
And yes, the little window opens.
It is Irma!
At the same time, he races up the stairs.
Left, now right, then up the stairs again, now another four steps and then across the corridor.
Here is the room; he saw it last night.
He storms into the room.
With everything he has in him, he pierces her soul and humanity, he knows it.
He still does not say a single word, he only looks.
She does not know how he knows that; it is a great mystery to her.
He looks at the bed, and throws his ring at her feet.
“Here, dirty slut, now I know!
Now it is okay!
You are a slut, my God, can you believe it.
You slept with Willy last night.
Yes, you did not know that I was clairvoyant, did you?
I will now tell you something else.”
She races towards him, wants to prove to him that she is not bad, but he flings her off him.
He now sees something else.
As sure as I knew that you slept with Willy last night, as sure as what I now see is happening.
There will come a time that you will die from sorrow of the soul, because you will then understand who I am and how I loved you.
I will hear you screaming, Irma.
You will eat away your blood from sorrow and pain, I predict that for you!
And I let you die!
Do you hear it; I will let you die!
I will not come.
I will let you scream ...”
She is laughing inside.
She wants to give him chocolate from mother.
She is here to visit a sick family member, but that no longer means a thing to him.
Even if she shows him a telegram, he will not go into it, she is a slut to him, she has cheated him, but she has wrenched his heart from his ribs!
Now that is quite enough, Crisje.
Casje, gives thanks!
That was really a work of art!
It took a long time, but it is just on time.
Jeus has now been saved for the future, nothing more can happen.
Now carry on!
The boys are sitting in the train, she is also there.
He does not want to see her anymore.
She tries to convince his friends, he does not believe anything anymore, it is finished and will remain finished!
He drank the last drop consciously, no, Our Lord can change his mind; even if she were to give him millions, it is finished!
What he said to her was amazing, he experienced this vision like the last one and he saw her, lying screaming, with people around her, she was dying!
He saw her father and mother, the doctor, there were people in that room, her own room, and father and mother were at their wits’ end.
He felt that they called on Crisje, but mother is not stupid, he is not stupid either!
But where was he himself at that moment?
He experiences his future in the train.
He gets to experience it bit by bit!
No, the whole drama lives under his heart; he would be able to predict a thousand things for her, but she laughs.
Did she did not know that he was clairvoyant?
It is extremely interesting.
Jan now tells her about his strange things.
He has always been like that.
Jan feels sorry for her, also Theet de Bussel, and the others; they are starting to believe her.
Jan tells her that they will win 3-1 today and that is part of his clairvoyance.
“Yes, what it is, I do not know either, but it is strange anyway!”
“But I got a telegram, Jan.
Here it is.
I am not bad.
Can you believe it, that Jeus has such a low opinion of me.
My aunt is seriously ill.”
“But what do you think of the fact that he knew that?”
“Yes, it is a strange thing, I did not know that Jeus possessed marvellous things, he never told me about them.”
She is sitting there chatting away to the boys, he experiences one wonderful scene after another.
Casje will not leave him alone anymore!
But this blow was necessary!
And Jeus will understand that later, only then will he be protected from an awful lot of danger, he will now watch out and Casje can continue to work on the construction, the development of his instrument, for which Jeus must serve!
It is a day never to be forgotten, Crisje, angels; Our Lord, thank you very much, His angel, Casje, is a master?
He no longer looks at her, he does not want to see her anymore.
And now that she knows that about him, he will show her today what he can do, yes, that he can even earn his living with playing football, and a good living at that!
He wants to beat her with his art, with his feeling, his knowledge and show her that he is not a farmer.
They are playing against a club today in which seven boys from the German League are playing, seven first class players and the German national team.
Irma has not seen him play yet and she will enjoy that, because he is furious.
The lady is sitting in the stands, they come onto the pitch, they look really good like that in white with an orange pocket on their chests.
What they get to hear from the Germans is not so nice, because the Germans are giants and they look small and insignificant.
“Do we have to play these children?”
They will soon experience that.
They will prove to them what they can do.
Did those boys beat Germania in Emmerik?
And do you know who Germania is?
That Willy plays for them and he therefore knew that wretch, but that Willy cannot help it.
Yes, these mites beat Germania, Wezel and Düsseldorf, first class clubs and you will see something nice today, ‘we will win 3-1 and that is just enough’, is his prediction!
The game begins.
Jeus has agreed with the centre half that he, as the centre forward, will play the ball back to him immediately, if they get to kick off.
If that is not the case, then they have other tricks.
They have to kick off.
Arnold Noordemeer is a first-class player.
Little Guus and Theet are backs with incredible strength, everyone is ready for his task.They have been able to train for long enough together in the evenings and Jeus has thought up something for himself, which none of the clubs know a thing about.
He got this W-formation by thinking.
He does not know that the whole world will later use his thoughts and feelings for this game, of which he is the inventor.
They are small, but as quick as lightening, only both backs are strong lads.
Yes, they are children.
The game begins.
He does not pass the ball to the inside right, nor to the wings, that will happen soon.
Arnold gets the ball, he can dribble, but then the ball flies immediately to the right, he does not keep the ball for a second, gives a pass immediately and then the rest follows.
They have balanced out this part of the game a thousand times, it is usually successful – it can almost be calculated infallibly – because Jantje Teeling, the boy of nineteen, that small but quick rat, gives a centre pass, which is as sound as a bell.
Jeus has received his passes for months in a row; he has made a study of it.
High or low, left or right, it does not matter, his foot under it like that straight out of the air and then whiz, a super shot with a punch to it.
No one can shoot as he can.
They do not understand where he gets that strength.
With his spindly legs, he really makes the ball rocket and they know that from him.
Or the head will go under.
Jantje passes, the ball floats in front of the goals, he gets his chance and yes ... after one minute it is 1-0!
Do you want more?
Irma is already bursting.
She is screaming above thousands of people, he can hear her.
“Those children have done it!”
My God, isn’t that a devil?
That boy can certainly play!
Is that a goal getter?
That boy can earn money, we need him here.
That is a football player.
Ten minutes later he gets his chance again, and whiz, from a distance of twenty metres, it flies exactly in that dirty corner: it is 2-0.
Five minutes before half-time, he places a ball in front of Jan, who plays inside right and there you go ... before half-time it is 3-0 for those Dutch children.
Jeus is like a snake, they want to play a nasty trick on him, but the krauts run into each other, he knows beforehand what will happen and that is perfectly obvious.
He sees Irma again in the changing rooms, she will not leave him alone, but she can forget it.
They ask him to come and play for their club; he will get a great job.
They really want to have him, and his love is there with her nose in it, but he has had more than enough of that whole ‘Stolzen Fels am Rhein’.
They approach him from all sides, he just laughs, he will not forget his boys, and he does not want anything more to do with Germany.
“Then we will not get any more in, Jeus, and that is a pity.
We had to make them sick today.”
And that is the case, little Jan, they will get one.Jeus will not get the chance any more, they will cover him with four men, you have beaten the German League, and they will not forget that here in a hurry.
And whatever he tries, he cannot get away from the four men, the krauts score; the final score is 3-1 for the Dutch B.V.C.
Now there is a party, they will go dancing.
They have won a beautiful cup.
The whole evening passes with nagging, they want to have him, he must play for their club and he will be in the German League.
Irma does everything, she begs him to come to Germany, but he laughs right in her beautiful face. He drinks his glass of wine, yes, of course, but the rest can drop dead!
When it becomes too much, they do not want to stop their nagging, he grabs the cup and throws the thing at their feet and it breaks into smithereens.
Now they have to get away as fast as they can.
Irma is already sitting in the train, he cannot throw her out, she wants to talk to Crisje.
The boys help her; she has got them so far that they believe her, not him!
However, that is their business and he can understand it!
But when Jan wants to talk him round, Jeus says:
“Then just come with me, Jan.”
He has a plan.
Jan follows him.
They go straight to Willy.
There is the young man.
What did you say, you beat Duisburg.
That is a miracle.
Yes, that’s right, but he has grabbed Willy by the scruff of his neck at the same time.
“Just listen, Willy.
If you tell me the sacred truth, we will not give you a bloody nose.
But if you want to keep the truth from me, we will destroy you.
What do you want?
Did you sleep with Irma, yes or no?”
“She asked me for it herself.
I had to send her a telegram.”
Isn’t that something?
Is that not enough yet?
Is Irma a turd, yes or no?”
Now Jan knows.
And that is a pity.
Jeus was crazy about his girlfriend, fair is fair, they felt the happiness, they wanted him to have this small thing, but now Jan knows, that she is a slut, he is on his side and Irma must leave here.
They cannot get her off the Zutphen-Emmerik tram, she is like a wild cat, and she must tell Crisje that she has not cheated Jeus.
But, what did Willy say?
Do you believe that, Jan?
Does that brat want to blacken me!
Good heavens, but how bad people are.
The child is weeping.
Jan has fallen for it a thousand per cent, he succumbs, not Jeus!
She runs after him, up the Grintweg, into Crisje’s house, now she falls at Crisje’s feet and begs her for mercy, begs for help from Crisje, she does not want to lose Jeus for all the money in the world.
Jeus talks to Crisje, he tells her about his dream. Crisje also tells him what she felt and was able to see.
Now Irma can get lost.
They agree with each other to steer her away.
Now she gets to hear:
“Listen, my child.
I will give you another chance.
You will go back to your father and mother tomorrow.”
Yes, she has already decided that for herself, she must go home anyway, and must tell father and mother how her aunt is doing.
Nonsense, Jeus senses she is talking herself in a real corner.
“Now listen for a moment.
You are going back!
You must go home.
If you do not do that, it is finished.
If you go, then I will think about everything.”
He puts her on the Zutphen-Emmerik tram.
She begs him to go back with her.
He feels she will now get a beating!
But that is not his business.
Ten minutes later he sits down and writes a beautiful letter to Irma’s parents.
Yes, he gets the words out of a little book, but that does not matter, the letter looks good.
‘My dear parents, father and mother of Irmgard.
I am really grateful to you for everything which I was able to receive from you.
I loved your child, so that I would have given my life to be able to keep her, but your child, I must tell you, is a slut, she loves every Tom, Dick, and Harry, and is ruining herself.
Now she has tried to make me believe that she had to visit an aunt.
Do you have relations living in Emmerik?
I saw, she lay there ...” No, not that.
But he also says: “It is a pity, but I must warn you.
Your daughter is a slut ...”
He now uses the words of the prison governor and finishes his letter.
Now he has to translate it into German, it is dialect and German mixed up, but that does not matter, they now know exactly what their daughter is really like.
Will those people understand him?
After ten days, he gets a letter back.
The father writes that he collected her there, and she will not leave the house anymore now.
He has made a good impression and if he ever comes to Germany again, he will be welcome.
It is a shame; we know everything now.
The war has destroyed all the goodness in people.
There, bury it, their child is forgotten.
Crisje talks to him, they are as one again, of heart and soul one, they understand each other.
Crisje will pray that he will get a good girl, but Jeus is in the woods crying until his tears run dry.
Good heavens, how lucky he was with this life.
Girls are vipers!
He does not want a girl ever again.
He is close to Golgotha.
He has lain under the bushes, and cried until his tears ran dry for something else.
Just cry, Jeus, the trees call to him, that is a relief.
If only Fanny was here now, you cannot talk to anyone, no one can understand that, only mother knows everything, she has experienced the same thing.
But Crisje says, it is better to bury them than this sorrow, this is worse, this destroys you.
When they die, you will still have your love, now you have nothing more and Jeus really loved.
Why did she cheat him?
If it weren’t for Crisje, he would have put an end to his life.
But he does not want to do that to his dear Crisje, he cannot.
Who wants to talk to his life?
Did he not know it?
Casje returns to talk with Jeus.
“I thought to myself, there is something the matter here, Jeus, what is the matter with you?”
“Could you not have warned me, Casje?”
“Will I tell you something, Jeus?
Would you have wanted to listen to me then?”
“No, of course not, you are right, Casje.
But do you know what I am going through?”
“Does it hurt much, Jeus?”
“Yes, I’m groaning.”
Casje lets him cry.
Has he nothing to say to him?
“I can understand that, Jeus.”
“You know nothing, you should warn me as a friend, but you did not know anything.”
“I knew everything, Jeus, but you were almost mad.”
“Girls are vipers, Casje.”
“That’s a lie, what about your mother then?”
“That is true, but they certainly got me.
I am groaning with pain.
I never want to kiss again.”
These words cause Casje to laugh and Jeus to respond.“ Do you have to laugh about it as well?”
“I am not laughing at you, I had to laugh at myself.”
“Because she also got you?”
“Of course, all people have to experience that.
Then you should just have chosen a good one.
But something else, Jeus.
I am going to the city now.
We will not see each other for a long time.”
“What are you going to do there, Casje?”
“Do you not have a job there for me then?”
“That is a point, Jeus.
I will think about it.”
“It won’t work, will it?”
“That is difficult, so to speak.”
“That goes without saying, but you are in your own life.”
“But I will still think about it.”
“If only it was the case, Casje.”
“Everything is possible, Jeus.
Now all the best.
Do not take it so to heart, there are plenty of girls in the world.”
“I have had enough of it, Casje.”
“Good day, Casje.”
“Go to your mother, she has nice soup for you, Jeus.”
“I can no longer eat, you should know that.”
Casje has gone ...
That man is mad, he thinks.
That is not a person.
That man knows nothing about this life.
He had wanted to ask him many things, but when he hears that voice, he always feels irritated again.
It is something, which makes you feel powerless.
It says to him that that life has everything and he has nothing.
He had wanted to forget the dialect and that is not even possible, when he hears the voice it suddenly comes back, and it is really better as well.
He only feels rotten from all that High Dutch and German.
You are now so far from home, then you have nothing at all anymore, and you feel cold and cheated.
He does not know, does not feel anything of what he possesses, and that his clairvoyance is enormous, is infallible, that he could give thousands of people happiness with it; he does not understand anything about himself.
Who would think about nice soup at a time like this, if you have no heart left?
You see, that is why Casje is a rotter, a person worth nothing, who can just talk nonsense and has no understanding of life.
This is bad, but he has not felt that, it is therefore not a human being either.
What does that wretch wish to do for him in the city?
It is enough to make you die laughing, but he cannot laugh anymore, his soul has been destroyed.
Yet, she would want that, then they would have even more fun there and that must not happen!
It is fine like this, Jeus.
Each tree gets to experience his sorrow from him.
Towards evening he wanders home, he must forget that life.
He does not want anything more to do with ‘Das Stolzen Fels am Rhein’.
A peace now enters him.
It is Crisje, who now takes care of him, because she knows what lives in him.
“You must now prove what you can do, Jeus.”
“Have you forgotten what happened to me?”
“No, mother, of course not.”
“There are other girls, Jeus.”
“I know, mother, but she was completely different.
My God, mother, can you forget father then?”
“Of course not, Jeus, but we must look forward and not back, as long as you know that.”
He will do everything in order to beat this blow.
But never a girl again!
What will he do now?
Just wait a while now, Jeus, and you will know.
That feeling will also awaken.
Only then will you reach a decision.
You will serve!
You will work for Our Lord, Jeus.
All the great ones received blows through love, exactly those feelings, Jeus, have strengthened them, because of this they received another consciousness.
If only you knew, everything will be okay!
Everything; however strange it may appear to you, life will soon explain it to you, but then you will be faced with the universal laws!
Greetings from Casje!