Frederik, do you think that life can think before birth?
In my sleep, I learned to reflect, to analyse all I had received, the letters for people and my own letters.
I now know that this is the correct way, because nothing can be a hindrance, your day consciousness has been disengaged.
I have to admit that it is not so easy to find the correct words; I really think that my imagery is becoming difficult, it seems inhuman from the beginning, although precisely as a result of this, the real materialisation emerges for you and me.
Many books have been written, many styles have emerged, but most of them are as dry as cake because the writers did not want to lose the ground under their feet.
I am now losing myself, I pray for it and I know that it is not so easy, but you learn to see things differently.
What I receive – because that is a form of receiving, getting – is a gift, which everyone who wants to lose himself can obtain!
It is being released from the material, from your mask for this world and the things being released like the life created by God.
Now that we are faced with problems, reality comes to us and that destroys the mask, it forces us to remove it.
Is this the soul?
Is that our spiritual life?
Is that what Karel calls a process and nature?
Our true life is not the abstract; it is the concrete ... that lives behind your mask!
That has significance!
When you fall asleep, you live in it!
I experienced that last night.
Then I was back in that state of purity again!
However, we are not out of the woods yet.
I want to produce the proof cautiously, to build my university stone by stone.
I put one layer after the other on the foundations, and you will see, I will work it out!
However, try to understand what I mean when we try to see behind the mask!
You then speak another dialect, just like me, that makes you see the things alive.
Afterwards the analysis follows!
Do you feel how simple it is?
It started in the woods.
It came immediately after the moment that He spoke to me.
When I heard: “Say, little man, do you want to be as big as I am?” I became precisely smaller.
What do you want?
He understood me completely.
You can turn within and experience; you will now see what is wrong with you.
Now you think differently and everything of this world falls away from you.
A moment later, I saw children; they were walking through the woods, just as I did, they were taught how to look at all the things created by God.
I understood that I was not alone, even they went through a night and saw that there was still light!
Now I was like a child, the adult part was wiped out of me.
I no longer felt the ground on which I was walking; I was floating!
I now saw that my better self was going for a nocturnal walk.
Behind all these children, I saw René, who, as far as I knew, had fled the parental home.
When I asked him whether he knew who I was, he replied: “You are Uncle Frederik.
You think that I have dirtied myself ...
That is also true in a certain sense ... but it was not I myself!
Did you think that I did not know what you think of me?”
I did not feel frightened, I thought it was very ordinary, because I saw that René was just as old as I was, perhaps even older.
Then I asked:
“But do you not know, René, that you are eighteen months old and cannot walk yet?”
“How funny you are, Uncle Frederik”, he says, “do you not know then that you can walk without moving your legs?
That you can go where you like.
That has nothing to do with age!”
I was lost for words.
I asked: “What do you mean, actually?”
“Am I not explaining it clearly enough?
When you are sleeping there, you are still awake, and you are only sleeping in relation to your walk, and to this space, if I may put it like this.
That applies to all people, Uncle Frederik.”
“Do you know then, René, that you are not there now?”
“Now I know, Uncle Frederik ...
When I am back there again, I will have forgotten everything.
Yet, I am ... with the children.
Because you can see it!
I am sleeping at the moment, Uncle Frederik ... but I am awake.
I am sleeping ...
Yet, I am awake ...!
That is my mask!!!!”
“Where are you going, René?”
“To the meadow, Uncle Frederik, I am going to look for flowers for father and mother ...
As you know, there was a terrible storm.”
“What will you do with the flowers?”
“Uncle Frederik, you are behaving silly!
Of course I will decorate mother and father with the flowers ...
However, I will just stick them to their masks, they themselves will have to arrange the decorations.”
“Then they will see themselves, then they will make progress.”
“So you are going to look for those flowers?”
“They are there for the taking, Uncle Frederik, for all people as well, for every animal, for everything which lives.”
“How old you are, René.”
“Did you not know that, Uncle Frederik?
Become like a child and you will be very old!”
“I will have to think about it, René, it is so incredible”
“Do not say that.
If you can believe it ... it will be true.
Soon you will see how everything was constructed, and then you can no longer play with it.
Now go, Uncle Frederik, otherwise, I will do a pooh ...!
I think it is terrible!
Uncle Frederik, go to sleep, dream.
Only then are you awake!
Do as I do, leave the normal, go to the abnormal.
Know that we have known each other longer than today!
There is more than you think.
Leave me alone, Uncle Frederik, do not disturb any little children, this is our world!
Goodbye, Uncle Frederik!”
“Goodbye, little René, goodbye, little René ...!”
My God, oh my God, am I mad?
But there they go, the children.
They live and they know that they live.
Just give me an answer, let me know.”
I awaken at ten o’clock in the morning and shortly afterwards I was already standing next to René’s cot, thanks to my dream.
“Frederik, you would think that the baby is already starting to talk.
You cannot make out what he is saying yet, but that rolling of his tongue means something.
It is the beginning ... I know.
This is very significant.
I am starting to think that he is normal after all.
Is that possible, Frederik?”
“Anything is possible, Anna.”
“Last night I really thought that he was calling me.
I got out of bed and then it just seemed like he said something.”
“What time was that, Anna?”
“Four o’clock, Frederik.”
Four o’clock, but I do not know about any times ...
It could possibly have been four o’clock when I was dreaming.
However, a child of eighteen months does not think like an adult.
After all, this child is not supernatural, but that child spoke like a sage.
That is impossible!
So I was dreaming.
Yet, it was a nice dream, even if I do not understand it.
I have to use force to release myself from René.
I am sitting on my bench in the woods again and I am thinking.
I sink off ... straight back to my dream.
Suddenly I hear:
‘Fool ... fool ... what a fool!’
I race back home.
I rest for a while and later pick up my diary.
Then I read:
“What I am now experiencing reminds me of an eternal world of thoughts.
If we adults can accept this, we will be faced with awe-inspiring revelations.
I have to say, I do not yet believe it, even if I am called ... a fool!
It is all so powerful.
We should accept that sleep does not really exist and that we people never sleep.
There is no old age!
You are there or you are not, but if you are, you will have eternal youth!
I conclude that – wherever we live as people – the childlike state is never taken into account.
I am faced with an immense problem.
If I can solve the mystery, this hypothesis will fall and a new life will begin on earth.
However, I cannot do it yet!
If we accept that you as a person can experience true reality during a dream, then I would have worked it out.
Then our René could be as pure as gold.
However, then millions of theories bombard me, like stones for our new building, which is now my own university.
We will see; I am prepared.”
I read all of this, but I feel that I have not finished writing yet.
See what now comes ...!
“I heard the singing of a wind.
That wind was alive.
As if it were human.
That wind blows through me; I can hear it.
The wind changes shape, makes everything smooth like a mirror ... I am looking in a mirror.
Now it speaks:
‘When I say ‘fool’ ... then I mean you.
When I say: ‘you are a doubter’ ... then I mean you!
I am not cheating you!
I am harsh ... but you have to experience me ... I look cold, but I am warmth!
Now just carry on!”
I understood everything!
What a mercy!
How can it be?
I saw the face of a wind, I spoke to a personality ... the night is now lighter ... lighter than ever before.
I was that night.
Because He did not create darkness.
How will we work it out?
All that because of a child that already draws with feces.
It is unnatural ...!
Afterwards I saw my father and mother in this mirror.
It became space!
I asked them: “I do not doubt it ... but is it night where you are now?
I do not believe that you have to wait for the flourish of trumpets.
Is mother with you and will she also get new legs in order to appear with them later?
Are you trying to kid me that the flourish of trumpets will really resound?
Are you not in your way there?
I ask you, how will you make a shape from the crumbs that are left?
What we call praying is mumbling!
We do not have the right to say amen!
That will only come much, much later!
Are you still wearing a mask?
Oh, father, how they have cheated you!”
His reflection was gone, his shape had disappeared and I do not want anything to do with his personality either.
What he was here has gone!
Now he is wind!
Wind with a colour.
Wind with an eloquence, which gives an ordinary person the creeps, because it is so natural!
However, people here do not know that yet, I will have to convince them, I, an ordinary layman!
I now know.
Anyone who is good will certainly make it!
However, it is different than we think, even though we pretend to be so academic, father, you read your bible ...
Father, above us there is light ...
Father, there is no night!
The sun does not revolve around the earth; we revolve around the sun!
My friend the astrologist was right.
If only I knew where he was, I would give him some flowers.
However, I do not want anything to do with him, because he will kick me into his ditch.
I now think that I can help Hans.
Just you read your Bible, but think of the beginning and of all the other things, which you never understood.
I now know enough.
I will continue on this premise.
I can now talk.
I know that I must not try to analyse all of this just now.
It is part of me and will therefore become clear in good time.
Only then can I deliver letters.
Hans, I have letters for you!
I will come soon!
Perhaps even today!
Our lives lead from darkness to light ... is written in my diary!
I already know that!
I thank You for it!
It is awesome!
The life of the day left me, another one came in its place.
If this is not harmony, then I do not know anymore.
When I awakened, after I had slept a great deal of the day, I emanated a new strength, a strength that was not there yesterday.
My nerves had calmed down, as if I had tapped into the source of all life, which so few people know about yet!
Yet, its waters flow from the human heart; you stand on top of it, you live in it, it flows over our feet, but people think that the water is dirty and that it even stinks!
It spats up on your ears, it soaks you!
Yet, it is crystal-clear.
I am already drinking from it now ... I would not want to miss this either for all the money in the world.
It was always there, and despite everything, it is still there!
You only have to be willing to see it.
Do you have a normal thirst?
You think that you are thirsty, but you are not, you only think you are.
I no longer believe that the soul is in this world for the first time.
I can see that I do not know everything about it; otherwise, I would be ashamed of myself!
However, I will have to see it first, I do not believe everything just like that.
I therefore accept that I am still a fool.
I will continue to be careful!
I wrote a short letter to Erica first.
I told her:
“You are changing after all.
I dreamt it last night.
What we people see as fallen flowers is only an illusion; you will never become a naturalist, because everything remains!
Other people pick it up for you.
And you are sent it.
It is lying upstairs and is making drawings from faeces!
How stupid we people can be, Erica.
If you do not understand these rules, then crumple up this letter and throw it in your wastepaper basket.
If it irritates you, remember that I do not yet have any other medicine for you.
My dispensary is open day and night.
Changes in the weather do not bother me, I love storm, rain and wind.
I feel like going for a ride ... Erica, I think I will buy a horse.
What will you do?”
At exactly half past seven, I was with Hans.
I was lucky that he was not busy.
First, I had to admire his house, his treasures.
Hans loves antiques and has a great deal of them.
Hans is an antiques collector.
He looked ill groomed; I am the gentleman, he is the tramp, he cares so little about clothes.
I think it is a pity!
The house and its contents are wonderful and he notices that he does not belong there.
Yet, there is unity, because Hans has revealed his personality.
He himself is the house, and its contents are well cared for.
He does not care about appearances; the contents, they are what matter!
It is a very rich neighbourhood.
He lives here like an Oriental monarch; everything is secretive.
There are statues everywhere, the beautiful Persian rugs shine at you; you would like to rest, sleep, dream on them for days on end, I think that a rug like that can tell you a lot.
It pulls you in another direction, if you are open to it.
Hans knows that.
He even counts on it; otherwise, he would not have bought all those things.
He buys these things, because they mean something to him.
Other people do it to enhance their environment, not Hans!
Now everything is different!
Hans lives alone here in his castle, I notice he is not married, and I have suspected that for some time, for that matter.
A display room like this possesses depth.
Is it taken care of by a woman or a man?
A woman would completely break the Oriental mystery, because her emotional life does not belong here.
It is like a flag on a mud boat.
Hans is like a morganatic married Prince, as if he likes potatoes more than an Oriental rug, for which you need a sheet ... just as you must wear a turban in order to deal with this mystical thing.
Does Hans feel it like that?
He shows me his treasures, with his hands in his pockets, behaving very ordinary, I see him as he really is.
He behaves indifferently, but he is not.
I already know that he would feel deeply unhappy if he had to miss all those things.
Now he is lost to me.
This is wrong, and he is destroying himself.
He can do what he wants, achieve everything he wishes for, this is a hole, which will cause him to break his neck if he falls in.
Seen from his position, I mean, as a doctor!
This could mean his death sentence.
I do not know how it can be, but it just comes to me and I feel that it is true.
I also know that he is not a yogi, otherwise, he would now have guessed my thoughts.
He cannot do that, even if he is sensitive.
Hans has a second self, which could be fatal to the West.
I do not know in which direction it is taking me, but it is a fact!
This forms his world, together with his studies and his patients.
He has still no understanding of love and of having children.
That is far-removed from him.
However, he too is a human being, his life could change.
A woman belongs here, a beautiful woman, not an ordinary one, no; a princess must take her place here and receive his friends from her throne.
The patients who come here do not understand it, and do not have an idea of its value.
I can see his taste, as it were ... I bet that this is true, and it cannot be any other way.
It is a fact that an Oriental has those airs and graces!
However, a beautiful wife, Hans, I continue, would suffocate here and end her life.
It is therefore becoming difficult!
Everything is arranged tastefully.
Even the curtains are arranged, they do not hang.
Is this something new?
Hans now sees himself ... he looks around every day and sometimes kisses a part of his self, which remains hard to understand and deaf and dumb anyway.
The interior, both upstairs and downstairs, is regal, so that I am afraid to sit down.
“Do you like it, Frederik?
– Tell me honestly and do not spare me.
I beg you.
Just tell the truth.”
You see, that is Hans, he knows me and he is challenging me.
He does not beat about the bush ... he dares to be direct and personal, he does not spare himself.
He had searched for it for years, now it is standing in front of him.
I know this and have to take this into account.
“Do you like it here, Frederik?”
“I have to get used to it first, Hans.
Your Oriental nature does not overwhelm me, but I want to enter as people there expect you to.
I know you!”
“I know that, that makes me so happy, Frederik.
I will give you everything!”
“I also know that ... yet then you are making a different castle for yourself.”
“I inherited many things, I was given many things, but I also spent an enormous amount of money, when you think of a cent the same as of ten guilders.
I am happy with it, but also generous; sometimes I suddenly go on a trip in order to put up another one.
You are right!”
We sit down beside the fire; a servant serves us.
I had expected that.
Hans already knows what I am thinking, but not the reason why and he therefore asks:
“Explain why you are smiling to yourself, Frederik.”
“That means, Hans, that I can see that you are acting according to the laws.
It is not so easy to analyse a person’s behaviour, but this is within my reach, we are standing right on top of it and it is not wearing a mask.
You are not that far yet ... otherwise a princess would be walking around here, wearing silver-white sandals.
It is still okay now the way it is, but it will change.
That life belongs to you, because it does almost the same work.
As you are not yet open to it ... you are satisfied with it ... only soon it will change!
These things, Hans, do not need explaining.
It is you.
You have no airs and graces, you are a descendant from that nobility ... you have no Western origins, you are not of our blood ... even if you have known the ‘Achterhoek’ of Gelderland, you spent your first few years there.
I can see it, it whistles in my ears, my heart says so ... this here is conscious imagery, it is here and it hangs on your inner wall, all your characteristics are here for the taking, spread out, you are both man and woman, without that having anything to do with homosexuality!”
To hundreds of people that is what I am ... thank God, you will never lose me again.”
He jumps from his chair and has tears in his eyes.
He knows that I can also understand that.
He is immediately himself again and says:
“You are not married either?”
“No, I have not achieved that yet.
I did not feel suited to it.”
“I am too busy with my patients, with myself, but it is wrong of me.”
We talk about Erica and Karel, Anna and René.
About their house and their worries.
We talk about everything in turn.
Hans makes comparisons.
He is searching.
Then his question comes:
“Frederik, do you think that ‘life’ can already think before birth?”
“I have been searching because of that question.
I now think it is the case.”
“Because I have received proof.”
“Tell me about it.”
“That is not possible yet.”
“But is it through theosophy?”
“You know that I do not take part in that.
I have to receive precisely because of all the existing facts and the knowledge and I have to make a new life of it for myself.
I am perhaps following the masters, but I now do it from our Western existence through everything we possess.
Also through the bible.
I am starting to see that we wear masks.
Behind everything lives a world, Hans.
That world is so incredibly beautiful, so concrete and aware, that no childbirth can be seen or experienced there, there is no phase which tells us: ‘Here thought began.
What we make of it now is imitation!’ ”
“Is it really?”
“Is it really?
It was always the case, Hans!
Despite all our great things, which we possess as people, and because of what we can see, feel and think, and received this body, everything that we created in this world, we are off the mark!
We do not live; we are psychopathic.
We are destitute before the great self.”
“Does life speak to you?”
“It is busy teaching me the first syllables.
It is powerful, and you have to be willing to lose yourself completely for it.
Now your castle is your irrevocable destination.”
“I know, but I am not yet that far.”
“Then you should start it, Hans.”
“What do my patients tell you, Frederik?”
“What is that?”
“They are alive ... they are soul, spirit and material.
Everything speaks to you.
Every part has its own world; there is no night.
Wherever you look, it speaks to you.
It embraces you, and it is blissful to be there.
Everything now falls away from you.”
“Would you like to see my patients?
I asked you that already.
Can you see them?”
“I will come ... have patience ... I will come; I will prepare myself for it.
I will come; I have to see them.
Masks mean everything to me.”
“Do you think that outside the life of the soul the body also has a personality and speaks through it?”
“I suspect that life deforms, Hans.
What we see was created by life.
I ask you again, can life, as we can, think before it is aware?
Can life see ahead and decide things that you and I cannot?
I ask you, where does the first thought begin to create that body like a machine, to deform it?
Where did it start?
Where does the first thought begin to be, to become a person?
Does God do that?
Does He know, for example, where we shall and have to live, when we have to take the jump?
Of course, you can start talking like a theosophist, take part in spiritualism, follow sages, let Oriental initiates talk and accept them – I do not do that.
We have not become any wiser from it, and there is no faculty that sees a grain of truth in it.
Yet, Hans, would you be able to throw all that over board?
What were the priests in ancient Egypt like?
Did they not teach us what to do?
That was also something they themselves mastered, I am searching and experiencing myself, and this is what brings it to the fore.
I am not a yogi, a fakir or a magician.
I am orientated towards the West and will remain so.
It lies and lives here at your feet.
I pick it up from the street gutters and try to give it shape, light, form, but as it came to us from the source.
Now I am faced with a cow calving ... a mare with its foal, our doves, and, of course, with people.
Now cause and effect begin.
What does an animal like that know about cause and effect?
Moreover, what do we people know about it?
However, we were given brains, the senses to see and accept, to act from something universal, which has to be God.
If you go further than that, then you are faced with sleep, which is not sleep anymore, but space, it is not subject to time and does not know day and night!
What do you want?
Which path do you wish to take, Hans?
The one you are now following?
Because you are not walking, you only think you are walking ...!
Walking is floating ... a walk at night time can prove that to you.
However, you have to be prepared to lose yourself because of it!
This is just child’s play.
There is so much more.”
Hans wipes his forehead.
A moment later, he asks:
“Where did you get all of this?”
“You are not listening.
You cannot listen yet, Hans, we people have to learn that first of all.
I tell you that the soul puts its stamps on the body, and it makes the mask.
Of course, I do not yet have any foundations, but I will get them in time.
The soul pushes life forward in one direction, and that is the human being.
At birth, the phenomena become material, before they were invisibly conscious ...
Do you know what this means?”
“Not as it knows and believes it knows, of course!”
“Invisible consciousness, Hans, is looking behind the mask.
Invisible consciousness is exactly the same as when the winter wind turns our windows into paintings of flowers.
That wind is different than we think, it lets something, namely the mist, become material.
However, we are people!
We people also deform.
If I am not following natural laws, I will miss my destination, then I will not take shape according to the laws, because I will not possess that natural truth.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“That before I was like God, now I am like a lost person.”
“Will we find the way back?”
“Behind the mask, Hans.
I will have to go back a long way if I want to experience my natural origins.
I do not yet know what that is like.
I saw it just before I awakened.
I thought that I was dreaming, but it was not a dream.
Dreams do not exist, even if you dream a great deal.
It is life; dreams are like the material on and in this rug.
You cannot see real material because the other material, which is in the rug, became like the rug.
Everything lives there for you, only when you see the material will you be able to do something for your patients!
You will then learn to understand life, you will know this!”
“We will never achieve that, Frederik.”
“That’s what you think.
Did I not say that you have to look behind the mask?
Take that rug there!
How did that Persian carpet get life?
How was it made?
What was it before it became a carpet?
What was that statue there before it was carved?”
“Wood, a tree ... a living organism!”
“Precisely, Hans ... we have to reveal this depth, we have to analyse it!
Now it is a statue, before it was wood and it was a living organism in origin.
What we now see, that rug, that statue, are the masks, but if we go back ...!”
“You are amazed, aren’t you?
I thought about all of this when I was still a child.
I wondered – I was fourteen years old then – if my father went to my mother and, this is how I imagined it, put flowers in a vase, as a result of which mother grew big, is that how I was born: actually, it is nothing at all!
Believe me, Hans, my bit went up.
You can imagine what happened to me then.
At that moment, I thought that heaven and earth flowed through my body, met each other just under my heart, which I could not enjoy myself, but only experience.
A moment later, a universe lived in my hands.
I looked, put it under my magnifying glass and later under the microscope, which I got from father for my birthday.
In this way, I recorded a universe, which lived, had volume, and then I started to think.
Is this me?
Is this a human being?
How did I come into existence?
I got a fright but recovered.
Then I followed everything and life had something to tell me, until I had enough of it.
However, I ask you, what did it look like?
I thought about the misery in this world.
I thought, could a lunatic build this up?
Can this already be mad; can this have a psychopathic effect?
Why do academics not look in this direction?
Why do they not take mine, I am healthy and not mad, to inject into such an unfortunate person?
When the blood has served its purpose ... why not this overpowering substance?
What can you do if you are sixteen?
I experienced the great miracle at the age of eighteen.
I asked the girl if she also had the same phenomena.
I searched for it in her being, descended into her, but had to accept that she was created differently to me.
When I went into the subject more deeply, the child thought, of course, that I was mad.
However, I knew ... that inside her there was the egg, which I had fertilised.
I went back until there was nothing left of her and me.
I was then faced with a vacuum, a mask ... for soul, life and spirit!
Were we first soul and did we become spirit after that and finally material?
I almost suffocated and gave it up!”
“I also studied animals for some time, plants and flowers, as a result of which I thought that I was going mad, because that is even more terrible, deeper, merciless than we humans are.
From where do we originate?
From God, but what is that God, where is that God, where does He live?
I started to ask thousands of questions, I did not get a proper answer to a single one.
After I was twenty-five years old, I started again.
I went from one church to the next.
By praying to ... ‘Get lost, as far as I am concerned!’
From cursing to bowing my head, from there to a new beginning.
I searched along the way and received signs of mercy.
However, I remained pure and my gratitude was finally rewarded: I experienced the East and the West, considered rich people and poor people until they were unclothed and there was no longer any mask before my eyes.
Yet, on that day I was faced with a situation, which I had never seen before.
Now I am here ... my self experienced an incredible change!
What is it that is capable of becoming a human being?
This is not anything new ... we know that.
Every animal has the ability to create and bear young, and it came into being from the previous existence.
However, Hans, before that.
What was there before that?
What were we before that?
What is soul and what is spirit?
What is material if it is abnormal and behaves strangely?
Is the sperm mad?”
We are sitting in our chairs with our heads bent ...
The clock is ticking, and with every tick, it is as if you are hit on the head, thanks to the fact that we are full to the brim.
Hans says: “You would be inclined to throw in the towel, do you believe that?”
“Just like me, probably, but you will be sorry later.
I thank God that I did not become a doctor, did not study; I would not have stayed on the right path, anyway.
However, these are the facts, Hans.
If you go in any deeper, you will suffocate.
What do theosophists and spiritualists, initiates, to mention a few, know about all of this?
Are they trying to kid you that we are originally from plants and animals and then became human, are like God?
I am not making light of spiritual thoughts, I am searching, but I will not accept all of this any longer!
I want to know and I will know, there is a state of purity, I am now open to it!
When it is at that stage, Hans, it will never change again.”
“What would you like, Hans?
For me to explain all the laws to you now?
You, I, and all the others can wait.
One thing I do know: it will not be I who will explain them to you.
There is another person for this!”
“It is none of your business for the time being.
If I told you, I would only dethrone you, and be digging a grave for the both of us!
I am not ready yet!”
“Are you not hiding anything from me?”
“Nothing, my friend, nothing.”
“That is okay then.
You know, I am begging you for your letters, Frederik.”
“I will not forget.”
“No, and yet, it is what I mastered, but what is it?”
“So I assume that you elevate your foundations by your own thoughts, through life and soul.”
“But will it not break you?”
“I do not think so, Hans, it has already broken me.”
“Yet it is the Oriental way, is it not?”
“We all follow one path, Hans, what is Oriental there is Oriental here.
What is Western there is the looking of a soul here, which longs for the truth and is brought through its God to His things.
There is no more to it than that!
I think and open my eyes.
Sometimes I see the questions and answers clearly and I can take notes.”
“So you are writing down your thoughts and feelings?”
“That will be a great book, Frederik, I think it is a wonderful task you are taking on.”
Hans, I think that when the soul comes into the embryo, the life, the formation of the body starts.
But also the deformation!”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because I cannot accept that God could be responsible for madness!”
“But His Omnipotence then?”
“That is precisely the reason.
I am a child of Him, you know that anyway.
He does not create any madness, does not bring suffering, sorrow, misery to His children, because that is not His intention.
I see these miracles in nature and you do not need to go to the East for them, the cows there are no different to ours!
Did you think, Hans, that God made mistakes, that He created unnatural things?
Believe me, we created madness ourselves!
The only question is where it starts!”
“You think that the soul creates for itself through nature and life.”
“Exactly! – and that is no secret.
We know what we are talking about, if we talk in this way it is a matter of seeing behind the mask.
No one knows what soul, life and spirit are.
All these things have their own independence.”
“Is that for sure?”
“Can a pig fertilise a goat?”
“You are absolutely spot-on ... it is true.
I feel, that life during the existence as an embryo plays a large part.”
“The part of deformation, of intellect ... and a thousand other functions!”
“Which ones, Frederik?”
“May I assume that you are following what I say?
Or are you already behind?
Take nature, the animal world, our existence, the universe, cosmos and microcosms together and I can see every independent part separately.”
“Then you are going mad.”
“I do not think so, Hans.
It can be experienced, because we came into existence because of it.
The soul forms, creates, but because of the personality.
The body has no meaning, which is why a child once said: ‘When you are asleep you are awake; and when you are awake you are asleep.’
This is the way it is, Hans, when we are asleep we are awake, the soul never sleeps, otherwise, we would experience death.
However, the body can also create, but for itself, and it also has a personality.”
“Explain yourself further, Frederik.”
“It is not yet possible, Hans.
I do know that this has to be the soul – the self, which is in us.
That sounds very clumsy, but this is how I saw and experienced it.
Does every animal have its own body, life, soul and spirit?
I do not know that, because I have seen thousands of animal species dissolve.
We also dissolved, because where are the prehistoric members of our race (see rulof.org/there-are-no-races)?
Are we that?
How was our way of living in the beginning?
Like Adam and Eve?
Do you believe that nonsense?
I ask you, can a cat descend into a dog’s body, can a cat fertilise a dog?
Hans, these are things which give me food for thought.
I have started to study them, but differently to when I was young, but Erica and Karel do not understand any of it.
Species therefore live by species, they form one world, one soul, one life, and whether they also form one spirit is a different matter!”
“Have you not read a single thing about it, Frederik?”
“I swear to you I have not.”
“Then I would advise you to keep it up.
Never read a book about these things, keep to yourself.”
“I know what you mean, it is not possible either to learn from others, you have to start within yourself sometime.”
“So, Frederik, you think that soul and body become deformed?”
“Do you not know that then, Hans?”
“We know a bit about it, Frederik, just a bit.”
“Imagine that my grandparents had cancer – what will that mean for the next generations?”
“I understand you”
“That is material destruction.
The inner life is much worse; it becomes deformed in its way and fills up the mental institutions.
Did you know that?”
“I do not know, however, I do know one thing for sure, Frederik, and that is that you have worked it out!”
“Precisely, but without a foundation, I still have to receive that.”
“It comes from the Divine Letter box.”
“It is wonderful, Frederik.
“I have nothing to continue with.
I will wait and see.”
“If you saw my patients, what would they mean to you?”
“Nothing, I would be a little sad, Hans, that is all.
However, all those masks hide the divine truth.
What lives in your institution behind bars, is divinely conscious!”
“You surely do not mean that!”
“Yes, of course I mean that!
Are their lives not divine?
They have succumbed on the way back, Hans, and now walk around like lunatics.
However, who says to us that they are mad, crazy?
Who says to us that we experience conscious things?
I do not dare to say anymore.
I am afraid of calling a person mad; I cannot prove that.
I know that they are in disharmony with this existence, but with the other one, with the other one behind this mask!
You sense that you are losing yourself, which can mean death.
However, at the end of the day, we live and I am taking myself there!
All those deformed bodies mean nothing to me.
They cannot mean anything to me, Hans, and we will only learn when we have looked through the deformation. Is the soul, is the personality deformed?
Must we accept that the soul only has one material life?
Moreover, if I would go to a theosophist or a spiritualist?
Of course, those people only believe, they do not know for sure.
This is why I will not build on that: I do not read series, or journals, I want to make it on my own!
All those worlds, Hans, now bombard me, and I put a chain around them one by one and I tie them to my surroundings.
What appears to be death, is life, becomes soul and spirit.
I listen, observe and do not let it escape my attention for a second.”
“You are a yogi, Frederik.”
“Possibly, but then a Western one, through the Bible to the light.”
“So it is a question of faith after all?”
“Oh, Hans, how young you are.
Through Him to the new, which is the old, because it has always been here.
Precisely through ‘Christ’, the God of the Old Testament is unconscious.”
“That counts for me too!”
“It must be the case.”
“What this humanity needs, Hans, is a man who can think.
I want to be that.
Separate from everything, free, completely child-like, with an adult consciousness.
Through what I see I get to know the law.
Every law is now a body, and soul and spirit.
The soul created tissue upon tissue until it could say one day: look, that is me.”
“It is amazing, Frederik.
These things will change humanity.”
I will not run on ahead.
All those heads will probably mean more to me than I now think.
I hope so.
Every material line has something to say to us.
But can you sense how deep your mysteries are?
What have you started?
Yet, you must continue, Hans.
You just as well as I, we may not give up.
It is your task and your life.
I know that it is the soul and I will also get into conversation with it.
It will sound different to this, probably deformed to material ears, like nonsense, but it will be more conscious.
However, I will decide that myself.
You will not be able to accept it yet, I feel.
Then I will recognise the personality of each thing.
To me it is already a fact that the soul disturbs all material harmony.
It created misery, destruction, suffering and illnesses!
The process and nature of Karel gave me everything!
He did not see it!
Now see all these possibilities and you will see yourself differently.
You do not read that in a book, Hans, it has not been printed yet, because He is the spiritual father of these things.”
“In other words, Frederik, life goes back, has already gone back.
“That is possible, of course, and if it is true, all thoughts are one, everything is one world, one soul, one life, one spirit!”
“Then we could stop, Frederik.
Now we are powerless before everything, there is no end and no beginning.”
“You mean to say it is a pity?
Nothing is a pity.
If your university collapses, my one will emerge.
Will we be capable then of helping the lunatics?
I do not know yet.
One thing I do know: only then will we know how we should approach them.
We will do many things differently.
Nature will also help us then.
Hans, new possibilities have emerged.
The next foundations were constantly laid.
Nature continued, the earth cannot be stopped, but what is night becomes light, there is no darkness anywhere in the universe.
The Bible therefore also contains nonsense and that life will also have to re-orientate itself.
Just build a church now, it is worthwhile.
Now people will no longer succumb.
They know that God will not condemn them!
That is the worst thing there is ... your lunatic is behind this, even if he does not know!
If you accept this, Hans, you will also have to accept the next thing.
We are souls ... have built up a personality ... but we left the only path.
We destroyed, and sullied the best in us.
Do we now become embryo?
What is it in us that attracts the material?
Just look at your people, it is them who must give you the answer.
This is why I sought my own seed.
I wanted to see whether those crazy thoughts were already there, I just wanted to know.
Do you understand that I am serious about it?
That I will no longer be sent off non the wiser?”
“Tell me honestly, Frederik, were you always so awkward?”
“I was as I am now.
I am only blossoming.
Karel got to know me when I had my autumn colours, we went through the winter and then the spring awakened in me, that is all!”
“According to your thoughts and feelings, Frederik, no mentally handicapped people were created.”
“When you look behind all those masks, Hans, you will get to see my images.
No troubles, misery, sorrow or illnesses were created.
A God of Love cannot plunge us into such misery.
As soon as I have to accept that this is the case, I will stop.
However, I do not believe it!
What we experience in this society is a rot.
When a feeling for justice starts to speak, you are faced with the devil’s work.
Everything has to change and everything has its own significance, it is we, who mess things up!
I tell you, the soul is to blame for its own unhappiness!
It is not any other way!
When we are finally at the stage that we realise this, you will get a different humanity.
I will do my part.
I will not rest until I know.
Of course, I understand, as a person, I have to receive these truths from ‘above’.
To you I say: I am receiving!
I am standing in that surf.
I already saw the ‘light’, it shone on me day and night ... even in my sleep!”
“For goodness sake, continue, Frederik.
In my opinion that is the only way to make it.
If you can see these things as foundations, as true principles, I can assure you that you can count on me.
Come and see my patients as soon as possible.
You will see all kinds of things ... but I warn you: it is a hell there!”
“I will come, Hans!”
“What do you think, Frederik, is our material life the aim to the Almighty, back to God?”
“What should we do here, Hans?
For my part, I believe that we will one day populate the eternal Universe.
Then we will be rain, wind, heat, cold; then we will be the water for the animals and all the other life, because I believe that God sees us as He Himself is!
We are the soul of His Soul, the life of His Life ... spirit of His Spirit.
Through Him, we received the life, which we had to work on here, however.
I believe irrevocably that we live on earth more than once, but I want to see the facts.
I do not take things lightly, I do not accept what people thought in the course of time; I research everything.
If it appears that a theosophist is right, that a spiritualist possesses the truth, then I will accept his teachings as universal truth and continue.
I know what the initiates through the centuries experienced and what they brought to revelation, but that means nothing to us here in the West.
You see that society does not change through it.
I tell you, Hans, that it will be the lunatics and fools who give us the chance to continue this study.
You must not look for it amongst people with no mental health problems but amongst the abnormal people.
I tell you: we are sick; they are healthy!
Hans, they experience the natural laws as they are, even if these souls have come to grief in the eyes of this society.
Can you feel the charity, the stupidity when we say: ‘We are normal!’
I tell you, I no longer dare to.
In my opinion, and I already have proof of that, they are so supernatural that you as an academic, and we as laymen, cannot understand the ‘divine part’ of it, we cannot see it, because we have never known that reality.
At least not now, because I believe, Hans, that all of us have to go through that cursed madness, if we want to see the light, experience the truth in our hearts and bring it to blossom and growth, as we were prescribed.
However, then you will see everything differently!
A lunatic, dear Hans, is a normal person for his laws!
You can experience worlds, if you wish, but go into it more deeply, see behind the mask, otherwise, you will not make it.
All that fumbling, that fiddling about with those bodies does not help you!
I know, but then what?
That will come!
Now you and all your ‘I do not’ colleagues, are faced with the powerlessness.
You can do something ... but the soul is not helped by it.
We have to start by establishing where the faults lie and how that human tampering started.
Believe that it is the brains, even if there are material disorders that worked on that body.
For example, I see a tumour as a physical destruction.
However, what will you do for a religious maniac?
What will you do for a mother who is broken, because her child was stillborn?
You are not only faced with physical destruction, but also with mental destruction in particular, and that is what destroys our society!”
“I tell you, the soul started the destruction.
That applies to all the illnesses on earth.
It is we ourselves, Hans!
Of course, there is physical interference, people who destroy the embryo, but we have to go back to the first destruction.
When the material was in the mist phase, would the soul not have experienced that?
People do not see their God.
People want to see and possess everything perfect, people think and ask: ‘Why did He not make everything according to His concepts, His Omnipotence?’
However, what were we before this ‘creation’ started, Hans?
Look back ... and you will be faced with your own destruction.
I believe that I am now possessed, but if I make a comparison, then I will know that I live now; only a short time ago I was like the living-dead.
I see my own uses and I assure you that I had not thought that it was so simple, even if I am sometimes on the point of giving up, but that will not happen, Hans, others will give up, but not I!
Nature gives me security.
I cannot explain everything to you, but believe me when I say that it bubbles within me.
Nature wants to be an open book; well, I am reading it.
One page is even more beautiful than the other is.
Oh, Hans, if you could get to know Mother Nature.
You would lose yourself in it!
However, after reading it, you ask what is behind it.
Then you will immediately be faced with thousands of problems, which are not problems, but a natural construction, however strange it appears to you.
The soul awakens in the mother.
If it is born in a human body, it is faced with the next step.
However, you know, prehistoric people once lived on earth; I accept as a fact that we once lived in the jungle.
From there we started our human existence, we got to know His laws, which we started to live in like in a castle and where we may now look at the rot of ourselves.
I do not know yet, but there has been a change for the better, we are awakening.
Only the universal spring gives us understanding, but Adam and Eve did not know about it.
Then and now, Hans, is one world!
What we were before, we are now!
There is only life!
Rise and awakening!
What was mist before, now has a bit more light.
What was swamp before, has now become a town.
What were people with animal instincts before have now become academics who analyse everything.
We have murdered what was once created as conscious and healthy ...
The soul works consciously and subconsciously in all its creations.
I do not yet have any foundations, but what I feel is becoming more certain.
There is no other path to take.
The egg in the mother opens itself and the growth process begins ... it is the very beginning, when the planets began their task.”
“Where are you heading, Frederik?”
“To where we belong.
I feel myself becoming universal.
You see everything, and you consider everything from a pedestal.
You continue to stand there, do not come down or go up, but I take a walk through the universe and no longer feel material.
Every day I experience my revolution with the earth and see that everything is going well.
Do you not understand then, Hans, that we people live in a universe?
That the earth is universal.
I have to get to know the principles of our lives first, then those of the animal kingdom, of nature, and then I will say goodbye to this world in the hope of being able to get to know the life of the universe.
I am already talking to sun and moon.
I talk to the wind and it holds up a mirror to me.
In it, you see masks, your own existence and where you are going.
Is this nonsense?
A child can confirm it ... to you, but then the child has to have a bit of the abnormal, so it has to be mad!
Only then will you be faced with the reality, because a healthy person does not possess any life, he does not look through the mask of this ‘age’, you have to be prepared to lose yourself for that!
I am telling you, Hans, that the sun and the moon know the secret.
I now have to make sure that I feel those lives, that I am as they became for me.
That is all!
There is no more to it!
Only then will you understand your daily bread ...”
I am silent for a moment, then, I suddenly change the subject, raise my glass and say: “Cheers, I am thirsty ... and I need something to strengthen my heart.
You know a good wine, I must say.”
Hans is thinking ... he can think, but I am tired ... I really do not know how I received all of this.
I suddenly felt that my doors were opened wide.
This gives me all the hope to carry on.
If René wants, if his life is revealed to me, the game can start!
After a short silence, Hans asks:
“Could you answer a few questions, or are you too tired?”
But keep it brief, doctor.”
“For heaven’s sake, do not think that you are an object to me, Frederik, on the contrary.
My first question is this: When the soul first came to earth, would it not be deformed in your opinion?”
“No, we would then be as white as crystal, as clear, I mean ...
Now we are murky, dull!”
“Would God send us to earth with faults?”
“I already told you, that is impossible!
I believe in Him as a Father of Love!”
“In your opinion, will this earth be destroyed, as the Bible teaches us?”
“How can you express such thoughts, Hans?
Did you think that the Old Testament will not be written again?
No, that is not possible, Hans, the earth will complete its journey!
I now laugh at that belief, that is church talk.”
“But you strongly believe in a Superior power?”
“I said that already anyway!”
“Do you go to church, Frederik?”
“No, I do not learn anything more from it.
I tell you, I used to feel raging ... burning inside, but that fire has been put out.
I believe in a Superior power, in a God, but not in one who condemns!”
“Is that why you left?”
“I ran away to never to go back!”
“How do you see that Superior power, Frederik?”
“I presume that you are asking these questions outside your science.”
“Of course, I am asking them person to person.”
“I see that Superior power through the material revelations, Hans.
Of course, we have to accept His Soul and Spirit, because as a result of them His Personality emerged.”
“Can that Omnipotence be felt, Frederik?”
“I see Him as a million kilos of feeling, I have mastered one and a half ounces of them.
However, I will continue, get to know the laws, I will go through life and death, Hans, onwards, to the Eternal!”
“Is it a fact to you, Frederik, that God is a personality?”
“Is a tree not a personality?
Everything possesses His universe, His independence, even if you can see very little of it.
Every material life, with a living emotional part of His Being within it, represents Him!”
“Does that Omnipotence determine our lives?”
“I do not think so, Hans.
I think that we ourselves determine the laws, after we received them before as natural laws.
In other words, we got hold of them.
God gave them to us!
Then it started!”
“Surely that does not mean that everything was mapped out beforehand?”
“I sense what you mean.
It is not like that, it cannot be like that.
The fact that our lives are abused, that we undergo illnesses and misery and yet are tuned to God is due to our stupid behaviour.
I already told you, we destroy as souls, as people we experience those troubles.”
“Do you think you can change that by introducing new lives?”
“Yes, I believe so.
There is just one possibility: through many lives back to Him!”
“Therefore ... reincarnation?”
“Is there anything else or anything better?”
“I do not know!
But there is another matter.
What do you make of René?”
“How do you see the child?
You are the academic.
I heard from Anna that you have started an examination along with Karel.
What did you see, Hans?”
“I did not see anything special, Frederik.
However, I did reach the conclusion that it was a difficult birth, at least for the child.
I look just like all of you at that big head, although there is a change.
Karel is powerless, so am I.
I do not know yet ... I want to wait first.
It is not possible to make a clear diagnosis right now.
Frederik, do you think that René is normal?”
“I am asking you, Hans.”
“Well, in my opinion: No!
There are no mental disorders.”
“From the point of view of physical norms, Hans?”
“We do not have any other method, Frederik.
Nothing can be seen that points to a disorder.
I have discussed it with Dr Van Stein, Dr Ten Hove and Dr Van Hoogten.
They are also faced with a natural event.
Are they phenomena?
The head, which is too large?
Karel has made a fool of himself.”
“I have a different opinion ...
René is sick!”
“You cannot be serious, Frederik”
“You will see ... but do not talk about it.”
“Are there already symptoms present?”
“Both physical and mental.”
“Incredible ... but I myself do not know, I will keep an open hand.”
“Thank you, Hans, if you did not do that, you would not see me again.
René is sick ... soon you will see the symptoms, but later ...?”
“I do not know yet ...
Perhaps there will be revelations.
You cannot fathom Him out, but everything has a purpose ... even the birth of a fool.”
“So you are certain in your own way?”
“I have theories, Hans, which lead me to think in this direction.”
“Then it will still be a long time, Frederik, we will not experience that anymore.”
“I understand you, but I am not thinking of God now, but of René.”
“My Goodness, how difficult you are becoming, how sarcastic you are, Frederik.”
“It is also obvious, Hans, you can see, after all, that René is backward.”
“If you look behind his mask, you can see it!”
“Surely you are not clinging to Erica?”
“Do you see me as being so helpless?”
“I will wait and see, Frederik ... I cannot see anything special, I am telling you honestly.”
“What is a childish carry-on to adults, Hans, becomes adulthood for the child, as soon as it is awakened to it, receives life through it.”
“That is too abstract for me.”
“That is possible.
There is a cosmic wind blowing here ... which comes straight from the universe ...
But it is directed towards our lives, it will expand our spirits.”
“Explain further, Frederik.”
I have not yet felt how the wind blows, but it will come.
Erica hears it as a bear roaring, a jackal howling ... they are already around her.
However, Anna chases them out again and I do what I can myself.”
“Will you write all of this down, Frederik?”
“I do not know, Hans.”
“Look, you should describe it.
It will become a scientific drama, if you ask me!”
“Very likely, I will have to think about it first.
Apart from that, I can already see the figures before me and each one of them already has its own role ...”
Suddenly, I laughed and he asked in surprise:
“What is so funny?”
“All those figures Hans!”
“Then I know already.
I am surely the unfortunate one.”
“I do not believe in your clairvoyance.
I do not believe that you have a sixth sense.
If that was the case, then you would know that you should not live in this castle.”
“I cannot predict the future and I do not see anything in it either!
You should have known this, Hans!
Nevertheless, I dare you to bet. I say: René is sick! You say: it is impossible!
“I accept your bet.
We academics against you, a layman, that is what you mean, is it not?”
“As you wish ... we will wait and see.”
“What makes you so sure, Frederik?”
“I have been contaminated by this life.”
“Is a baby capable of contaminating adults?”
“It appears so, Hans, once I did not know whether that was possible, but now I have a different opinion and I know that ‘lunatics’ can say normal things and they sometimes know where the beginning awakened!”
“You do not give yourself anymore, Frederik.”
“This is the limit, Hans ... we must wait and see!
I have nothing to do with diagnoses ... as long as you do not forget that.
I am fighting for expansion!”
“So you think, if I understand you properly, that René is a mental ill person?”
“René is ill ... with an illness that surpasses all others.
He is suffering from an ... art!”
“You are going too far away from me, Frederik, why are you doing that?”
“Because we part ways here for the time being.
Do you not feel that yourself?”
“Should I think that you are clutching at straws?”
“You see, academics are always like that, Hans.
Another warning ... if you do not keep to it, I will go.
If you do not see me as a normal person, I will have to disappear from your sight.
I have nothing to do with your faculty.
If you consider me as a ‘case’ and you try to test you knowledge on me ... I will go.
You have to be able to reason this natural thing outside your university.
Learned words are not needed for it.
What is a name to you is a law to me!
You do not need to get a fright, Hans, but I want to play with an open hand, I do not want to see you as an academic, if we do that, then we will never make it!”
“I will not forget it again, Frederik, I am sorry.”
“Soon, when you are a professor, Hans, you can afford to do that.
You will also become it ...
You have the head for it, and in particular the sensitivity, your brains mean nothing in this connection.”
“Do you believe that or did you know that already?”
“I think that is the case!
Tissues, large or small ... live, and come into action, if the inspired word for it is present as a spiritual force.”
“Could you repeat that?”
“I have forgotten, Hans ...
It came and went again, without leaving anything behind.
Such things only come to us once.”
“Is it inspiration?”
“What is inspiration, Hans?”
“I do not know.”
“What a lunatic says about it is inspiration.
You are therefore not to blame for it.”
“Are you doing to me what you do to Karel?”
“No, never, but with Karel I do not talk so much, he does not have any faith in me, to him his life is inspiration ... a process, just nature!”
“I am happy to believe it.”
“My God, Frederik, how witty you are.”
“But I am not, Hans, now I am living under the blossom.”
“So ... despite everything ... ‘inspiration’.
Karel, how can it be.”
“I am telling you, Hans, and this is the last thing I have to say tonight, because I see that it is already very late, as true as you will become a professor, as true René is sick.
This is my prediction.”
“Then the Wolff family will be thrown to the sharks.”
“Is that what you think ...?
I am telling you: they will not be destroyed, not in that way at least, as we now mean.
Not they, they are too stupid for that.
However, you know I love them all the same.”
“Did you dream this?”
“Do you believe that there are gnomes living in the woods, Hans?”
“You are arousing my curiosity, Frederik.”
“That is worthwhile, Hans.
However, we have to wait, you see, because what is now only curiosity on your part will soon become anger ...
As long as you know then what you are doing ...!”
“You are right, you are a wonder to me, I do not want to lose you for any castle, Frederik.”
“Then we will just say that it is okay.
Everything, for that matter, which could explain the love at the same moment.
I will add, the love of men is not in the least feminine ... if the man has forgotten his own contractions when giving birth.”
“I do like your imagery, Frederik.”
“That is what you say, to others I am mad.
If you were to read the first pages, my first notes, you would be dumbfounded at the nonsense I come away with.
I also had to change part of it.
However, I am telling you, Hans, you will start to think universally, you will be released from the ordinary sayings, which really have no more value for these times.
I think that the book will go too deep ... but you will learn to think as a result of it!”
“For goodness sake, do not turn it into a trifling matter.
Remain light-hearted, Frederik, beat us about the head, put our supernatural part under a pump and turn the tap on ...
Good gracious, where did I get those things from?”
“You are laughing about it, Hans, and you get a fright.
Now you can already see that it is possible.
Anna calls it ‘sleep’.
She says that I can make people sleep.”
“It is remarkable.
Have you ever done hypnosis, Frederik?”
“I could have known.
When you start to behave naturally, you are a fakir.
Do you not feel, Hans, that you are the lunatic?
Do you not understand that all your people are normal and that you as their doctor sit in the mental institution and cheat the lot?”
I do not believe that he has ever known such a fit of laughter.
He laughs in a healthy and tasteful way, the kind of laugh that is the divine medicine for human nerves.
“I have been touched by you, Frederik.
I had not thought that it could happen, now I believe in telepathy.”
“I see it differently.
It is being naked, Hans, you just undressed yourself.”
“What did you say?!”
“You were standing naked before me.”
“Explain that to me, Frederik.
What exactly do you mean?”
“It is simple, but you have to possess space.
When you took off your jacket, you were open to me.
Now nakedness follows; the unity of people, the unity of feeling to feeling.
At that moment my wind blew into you ... my feeling works on you, you said something as a result of it.
There is no more to it!
Your mask fell.
Now you are like a child and ready for this unity of soul to soul.
Do you not want any more from this crazy love?”
“You could give a woman such a lot, Frederik.”
“So, that is what you thought.
I do not believe that she would want this nakedness.
Most women wear a lot of clothes.
I know what you feel, Hans, I do not know that yet either.
I am afraid of it, honestly; I do not want it.
It is too awesome for my life.
I would rather wait until I see my other mask, but then we will be living in the year 2000 ...!”
“I do not know you anymore.
But you are talking the right kind of language to me ...!
Wait, let us have another drink, Frederik, it is good for the nerves.”
We agree that I will come and see his lunatics soon.
A great longing came to me, but I resisted it, although I knew that another world would open.
I say goodbye and Hans, the monarch, lets me out.
He watches me walking away and I have the feeling as if I am leaving my girlfriend behind, Hans longs so much for my love.
He is a good man, he has the nature of a dog, but that makes me happy.
I love animals!
I felt that I had to prepare myself for that visit.
I had to arm myself for it!
When I came home, after walking for an hour, I lay down to go to sleep.
Who is it, who came to me?
In my sleep, I saw the sign of the cross!
If I had been a catholic, it would have unbalanced me, now I accepted it, as if I was riding my horse, with the thought that the God of all life does strange things.
Usually they manage to frighten us adults, because we are asleep during the day!
Do you feel the bone of contention?
I saw it, but it did not have any sharp corners.
I was dreaming, but continued thinking.
Then He pinned some jewellery to my jacket and I knew that I had delivered my first messages well.
Thank You, I called out, tomorrow I will continue!
Then normal sleep came!
I think that I am now ready for the next mask!
However, not even five minutes later I saw that I had been cheated!
How can it be?!!!