Frederik, René is writing strange letters, do you know what that means?
When I crossed the threshold a few days later, Erica and Anna storm towards me and behave very nervously.
When I asked what the matter was, I heard a story about strange letters, about a child which cannot write, about strange behaviour and pulling faces and so on.
When we were inside, Erica told me:
“René is writing strange letters, Frederik, do you know what that means?”
“Strange letters you say?
Let me have a look.”
She gives me one of the letters.
I see scribbling, a searching and fumbling to say something.
The pencil has made swirling movements, but underneath I read, clearly visible:
“If the Apostles had known ... not one of them would have heard the crowing.”
That is really bad; truly, it is really bad.
My God, what will happen?
Nothing for years and now strange things ...
Erica says: “I always knew that this writing was not natural, such a passion from a child is no longer human.”
However, Anna shrugs her shoulders and is terribly shocked by it.
Well, what is next?
“What does a child like that want with the Apostles, Frederik?
Would it not make you frightened to death?
Karel is half-destroyed by it.
We do not know what to do.”
Here we are now, I do not know of a solution either.
It seems supernatural, but it also smells of the work of the devil, an outside influence, you could say that René’s hand was being guided.
Suddenly I see myself, I feel myself, when I was also writing and another power forced me to write something down that did not come from me.
I now believe that my power and that of René represent one world, one thought, one soul, possess one personality, only I did not make any loops.
Something has had a hand in this, something has been written here with certainty, which a child does not think about.
What is the meaning of the writing?
I read and reread, but say nothing.
Then none of the Apostles would have heard the cock crow.
I write the sentence down and will think about it.
First, I have to calm the women and I want to see René.
The child is upstairs.
We go to René’s playroom.
When the boy sees me, he races towards me.
I recognise the voice again, also the “Uncle Frederik” reaches me exactly as before.
René is calm and does not know about anything.
Erica lets slip:
“A mite like that is already talking about the Apostles now, about the cock crowing ...
It is enough to drive you mad.”
I put it down to the boy’s talent.
When Karel comes home, he accepts it immediately.
That is possible, he says, why not!
However, a moment later he feels that this is not acceptable after all, because a child does not know any Apostles.
“And the cock crowing?” Anna asks.
“What does a child know about a cock crowing?
What does it know about Christ, because this has to do with Christ, after all?
Are you trying to kid me about that?
I do not believe it, it is bad, and it is the devil’s work.
However, I do not know.”
“If you ask me, this has nothing to do with talents.
I see human talents in a different way.
The intention is Christ, Anna is right.
I feel broken by it.
I am going mad!
I thought as much.
What a misery.”
Karel stares at the ground.
He does not know.
It is not talent and yet it is, but of a strange kind.
That René, what does a child like that want?
Does he already want to change people?
Where does this thought actually come from ... it is rotten!
“What do you know about it, Frederik?
After all, you understand these matters, do you not?”
Erica is becoming sarcastic.
I have to stop her.
René is playing and pays no attention to all our talk.
However, the pencils have disappeared.
When I look for them, Anna says:
“Hidden away, Frederik, to prevent more disaster.”
Karel laughs about it, so do I, not Erica, she is moved.
When we are downstairs, Karel says:
“What do you think about it, Frederik?”
“What do I think?
I believe, Karel, that it is an outside influence.”
“What is that?”
“I cannot explain it just like that.
It takes us to an extraordinary talent, to art, because the writing has something to tell us.”
“Do you call this art?
Do not make me laugh, Frederik.”
“What would you want, Karel?”
“Nothing”, says Erica, “nothing!
I want a normal child, nothing more, but also nothing less.
Do you understand?”
Karel stops her.
I listen, and we have lost the thread of our conversation.
“Mouth shut”, says Karel. Now Anna interrupts; she has something to say.
“If you ask me, Frederik, then it is devil’s work.”
“Do not go too far, Anna”, Karel says, “What do we know about devils?
We will work it out.”
Anna leaves, Erica stays.
“Do you really think, Frederik, that this influence is from outside?
That is what you mean, is it not?”
“It has to be something like that, Karel.
The thought, which is interpreted, is human, but certainly not childish.
I would like to say, ‘Thank You!’
However, you are not capable of that.”
“What would you like to say, Frederik?”
“Thank You, God.”
That is really something”, Karel lets slip.
“That is going too far, Frederik.”
“Yet I do not see it in a different way.
What you find strange could possibly be the expression of a supernatural consciousness.”
“Do not exaggerate, Frederik”, Karel flings at me, “do not add any nonsense to it.”
“You do not let me finish.
Is this a child’s writing?
No, whose is it?
It does not matter a jot to me, if you wish to know.
Have you never heard of child prodigies.
And you, Erica?
Were Mozart and many others not supernatural?”
“And what do you mean by that, Frederik?” Erica asks.
“That is clear enough, after all.
What was crawling to the piano for others, can be scribbling on paper for René.
That is actually already happening.
What you fuss about is a miracle to me.
What upsets you, takes me to art with a spiritual A ...
Whether there is talk of Apostles, they involve Christ, does not matter, I am concerned with the writing itself.”
“Who are ‘they’, Frederik?” Erica asks.
“I do not know.
They could be powers that are made conscious through his little soul, as a result this talent is present in life.
Now the personality acts according to what lives in abundance inside.
Is that strange?
Do you think this is the devil’s work?
Must you get upset about this now?
If I could act, Karel, I would leave everything as it was, I would even put the pencils down in front of his nose.
You must not break such reactions.
This soul expresses itself by writing; another child does it by something else.
There has to be an outlet, the child has to be able to concentrate on something.
Whether it is bitten by the cat or by the dog is not significant, if only you want to understand it.”
Karel immediately agrees with me.
“Seen very clearly, Frederik, my compliments.
A psychologist could not have improved upon you.”
Erica also thinks the same and is now a bit calmer.
A moment later, she says:
“Just let him get on with it, pretend you know nothing, but let your child come to grief, Frederik?”
“Who says so, Erica?”
“You men always have something strange.
However, I will pass on it.
I will not take part in hocus-pocus, good riddance to it.”
We are alone, Karel and I; the women are with René.
Anna already has telepathic feelings.
Erica storms downstairs to tell about it. Anna already has a different opinion, she notices that René is looking for his things and thinks that is really upsetting.
When she handed him some paper and pencils, René said:
“Thank you, Anna, I am so happy.”
“This boy is no longer a child, if you ask me, Karel.
This is destroying me”. Erica drums into him.
“It is up to you, I think that the child is playing with fire and you approve of that.”
Karel looks dejected.
He cannot give her an answer.
Then he says:
“Anna is right ...
Let come what may, but let the boy play.
I will buy some fireworks for him later, as far as I am concerned, he can set fire to the lot, if you wish to know.”
Erica has another idea and dashes out of the door.
“What is she up to, Frederik?”
“Do you not sense that then, Karel?”
“Do you happen to know already?”
“You can follow her feelings, you can add one to the other.
If you are open to a detective story with some human psychology you will know.”
“I can honestly say to you that I do not understand any of it.”
“Look, there she goes ... dressed up and with a red face.
She is just like a red rag, now the bull is to follow.”
“What do you mean, Frederik?”
“That she is going to buy that bull.
She is running to the store, Karel, and watch out, she will soon come home with a pile of toys.
René has to get other thoughts, perhaps a few more different toys, but no pencils anymore.
I tell you, that will last for five minutes.
If the soul is focused into something that it wants to do and possess, we know from ourselves, Karel, then nothing can distract it from that.
Children are adults, we are children, there is no difference to be seen, and the action remains the same.
However, just let it go, it is better like this than all that shouting.”
“But what is it precisely, Frederik?”
“I already told you, Karel. René has a talent in him and that now expresses itself through writing.
There is no more to it.
Of course, the emotional life is clearly involved.
What was written affects our lives and is of great significance.
The writing takes us to Christ, which is truly not a trivial thing.
It places us before facts of which we do not know the depth and necessity.
I tell you: do not make a fuss, do not make things worse, accept it as an everyday matter and wait and see.
Even if more letters come, what does it matter to you as long as the child remains normal.”
“I am worried about that, Frederik, that is what annoys all of us.
Do you not think so?”
“You hit the nail on the head, Karel, and you are not off the mark, this is the way it is!
I would leave him be.
However, I tell you, you cannot change anything about it anyway.
You cannot smother those feelings.
If you do, then you will see that the child will suffer from it.
You cannot stop his machine just like that.
It operates through himself and through no other person, and if there was another person, then what?
Give into it, let it happen as it is meant to happen, there is nothing here to give you reason to be afraid.”
“I believe you are right.
Just let him mess about.
Yet, it is a strange affair.
Do you not know any more about it?”
“No, I have no other angles.
I have no doubts either about what happened.
This was written so consciously that we can take our hats off to it and have nothing more to say, than amen!
I think it is amazing, supernatural, Karel.
I am curious whether it will happen again ...!”
We think about it.
Meanwhile, Erica has come home with a pile of toys.
Karel nods at me, I sensed her intentions well.
All of us go upstairs.
What reaction will we get to experience?
René looks at the toys, climbs out of his little chair, studies things carefully, then throws one toy here and another toy there, does not say anything, looks at us for a moment, coos a bit and climbs onto his little chair.
Erica talks to the child.
She shows him what he has to do with the toys and Anna is also busy, but he still prefers his pencil to all these beautiful toys.
He ignores them!”
“How unusual”, Erica says. That will come.
What should we do?
Let the child play and leave.
We go back to the drawing room.
Karel pours me a drink.
We smoke a good cigar and talk.
However, there is not much to say.
It is there and it is not there!
Between all of this, there is a chasm.
René is the bridge, too weak to swing over it?
Too strong, too non-transparent, too supernatural?
Are we going from well-known dry land into an unknown ditch?
Only God knows, Karel says, but he does not know and thinks, asks, searches, but does not get any core, any answer.
How does Karel end up with God?
What kind of beautiful images does he suddenly see?
I leave him be and think about it.
Within me is happiness; it is awe-inspiring.
No one understands it or can see it in me ... but my soul and the life of René is in blossom ... this is a wonderful one, I see, which came straight from “Jerusalem”!
When I came back a few days later, they were arguing.
Anna wants to leave, it is impossible to talk to these people, she says.
It is as if Erica is possessed.
She runs through the house day and night and does not know anymore what to do.
She throws all kinds of things; she roars at Anna and Karel, nothing helps, she is really upset.
And all because of René?
I ask first how the child is.
I had agreed with Anna that she would call me as soon as little René had written something new.
However, Anna did not come. Meanwhile, I wrote in the diary:
“The lions and tigers came back.
Now the howling of the jackal can no longer be stopped. Anna, who has done everything to keep that wild riffraff outdoors, no longer knows what to do, but she knows what to do about the fact itself, she acts naturally.
It is her love for René, which brought back the pencils, the only chance to keep the child quiet, as all of us already have had to accept.
Our journey is going to begin!
Karel has taken up position in the engine room; the cases have been packed.
We are already in the jungle, even if it appears as if we have not yet seen the city image disappear.
Or is it the case that the animals come towards us?
The barricade has been broken!
It is raining and it is stormy.
The guns are already firing, but Erica is shooting aimlessly.
Karel is calmly loading, and I pass the bullets, because I see that it is still no fun, although I am really interested how the loot will be.
However, it is a miracle – placed between two brackets – it is a great miracle, even if I do not understand the slightest thing about it.
I am not ahead of things in any way.
If there is anything, I will hear about it, soon I will go to them and then I will see how things are.
I do not yet think about the actual event, but I know that I will be proved right!
This is also a great foundation, you will see.”
Erica asks me to have a talk with Anna; she does not want to miss her for all the money in the world.
Anna is in the garden, and I go to her.
“Do not look up, Anna, there is Erica, behind the curtains.
She does not want to miss you for all the money in the world, Anna.
That is all I have to say to you, and we know each other.”
“Is it not a mess here, Frederik?
I will not allow myself to be driven crazy.
I cannot cope with this; she is behaving like a possessed person.
Karel is exactly the same.
Are they people?
Should I let the child bawl, because Erica does not want it to play with pencils?
Let him write, Frederik.
And then what?
I am on your side, as long as you know.
You are right, they are crazy here.”
“But Anna, what will René do if you are no longer here?
You are hurting the child, not Erica or Karel. René cannot do without you.
I am also here, after all, Anna, do you not think that is how it should be?”
“You as well?” she lets slip.
“One cannot refuse you anything.
When I come into the room Erica is also there:
“Is she staying, Frederik?”
“Of course she is staying.
However, you must not behave so childishly.
What is actually the matter?”
She does not say and I understand that they are all to blame.
They do not know what to do anymore.
They hear a cock crowing – good heavens, how serious it is!
As if the storm can hear us, and feels that we people just possess trivial personalities, another gust follows, which makes the houses shake, breaks lamp posts, gives the animals from such a jungle a fright, as a result of which they search closer to home, because they think that the people will protect them.
However, who wants to be involved with jackals and snakes?
Anna, who has walked straight to René, races downstairs as if she has been bitten by a scorpion.
Her eyes are flickering, panting, she stands before us and says:
“Here, we have not made it yet ...!
God preserve me!”
Erica tears the paper from her hand and reads.
She blushes as far as the back of her ears, her lips tremble.
She is not standing, but she stamps like a horse, which is on the stampede.
She turns her eyes, she weeps ...!
Then I get the thing in my hands.
I see the same movements ... there is also a little cross on it.
Underneath it I read:
“People are worse than wild animals ...!”
Written underneath, as if it was meant for an adult, was:
“Do not take any notice ... poop as I do ... poop as I do ...!”
This is even worse!
It is dreadful!
I now know that there is an outside influence.
Erica asks Anna:
“Where was this note?”
“On the ground.
I picked it up and saw that something had been written again.”
Erica has completely lost her control and calls for Karel.
However, he has just left town and will be back home late this evening.
Is it a pity?
What do you want to know from Karel?
I do everything to calm the women down.
I manage that quickly enough with Anna.
She says: “As far as I am concerned, the lightning can do writing, just let it strike as well, it is no good like this.
I am going to René.”
“And all because of a child who does not know anything about the language or writing, Frederik.”
“But René can talk, the child is already babbling?”
“Are you trying to talk your way out of it?”
“I am not talking my way out of anything – I will even leave that to one side whether that is already possible.
I would not make a fuss.
Erica, give in to it.
I am going to René!”
The boy is now playing with the things he has not looked at for days.
Erica is beaming.
Anna has tears in her eyes.
I think it is terrible ... we are home and dry, through storm and rain to the sunshine, you cannot see any more snakes and tigers, you do not hear any lion.
We are in the middle of the bush, in the middle of the wilderness, but there is no animal to be seen.
That is anticipated, suspicious as well ...
I do not cry about it.
We see a miracle.
We are standing next to it and it plays under its own power, it is visibly conscious as well.
It is a child!
Is all of that because of its large head, which is no longer large anymore?
All of that because the mother felt phenomena and did not know what to do with herself?
She, who wanted to drink alcohol?
She, who played the piano as only the great pianists could?
The child plays, it looks at the little train, at the balls and I do not know how many other things, at everything, which Erica gave him.
She now thinks: it has helped after all.
It serves a purpose, and the toys are being played with.
We stand watching for a full hour, but nothing else happens.
The pencils, which are there for the taking, are no longer looked at.
There is nothing peculiar to be seen.
I go downstairs; Erica follows.
“Now, Frederik, is this clear to you?”
“Where this comes from, Erica, there is talent.”
“You can keep it as far as I am concerned, I do not choose for that talent.
Honestly, tell me, is it not frightening?
Should we adults think about this?
Should we just let this mad carry-on be?”
“What do you want to do?”
“If only I knew.
If only Hans was here now.
However, he is out of town and the others are no good to you!
I will go, but will return.
“Do not take any notice”, it says, “poop as I do ... poop as I do ...!”
René, it should have said at the bottom, then everything would have been perfect, now we have to search a while.
However, it is art.
“If I use my brains, there is nothing the matter.
I am only afraid that the nervous system will not cope with that.
I talk of being afraid, however, it is not that, I mean curious.
I am worrying about nothing.
What a fuss.
Really too inhuman for a person, if you do not see any blossom trees, which are invisible and yet are part of your life.
It is René!
His soul is writing!
His spirit and personality are far ahead of the tender body.
The child already wants to overtake me!
Had he not talked about ‘poop’ when we met each other in our dreams?
To me it is the case!
What happened there, a while ago, in the invisible, was therefore experienced inside through soul, spirit and personality, has materialised!
It seems as if we belong to each other.
I get an explanation for what René is doing.
Then what if this life is so far and it has already overtaken me as material?
I think it is an amazing day.
The sun is shining and is now already wearing the universal garment.
René is illuminated by it!
Everything is good!
There is nothing frightening about it!
I had not thought that it would happen so soon.
However, I am not able to give them a full explanation, which will come later ...
I think that this is for all of us.
They are wonderful foundations ... the things poop is good for.
I have to possess sacred respect for the hand that brought this about.
Yet, I do not know, nor can I determine if it is his own hand.
A spiritualist would say: it is a spirit.
However, I do not accept that; what kind of mentality is it?
Do those people have nothing else to do?
Is this the entertainment of an adult?
Do spirits have to come back to the earth in order to play with poop through children, in order to make drawings for themselves and for us?
I understand that real drawings will also be made one day through this, because you can already see that now.
However, that spiritualist idea must not be added.
You now miss out thousands of pieces, and you suddenly jump through worlds, which you have not seen anything of before.
That is your fall!
No, the personality is writing here.
Even if the personality is not yet aware of the earthly, it is possible!
Does this have anything to do with occult laws?
I do not know!
I think that the inner life shows itself to the daily consciousness, just as with Erica and all the other mothers.
René has been fertilised!
Because life possesses that sensitivity.
Whether it is true?
I will wait and see; I am not going too far!
I am in no way prattling.”
Now that we are sitting together – Karel already knows what happened – peace has returned, personalities have calmed down again, it is time to ask questions.
We do not all shout at the same time, of which you soon will have enough of after a while.
Karel opens his mouth and asks:
“What do you think about it, Frederik, do you have an analysis for yourself?”
Erica is curious, she already grins at me, and Karel is waiting.
I answer and tell them what I casually wrote in the diary.
Karel thinks it is marvellous!
Erica cannot understand it.
Anna now watches over the child belonging to all of us like a mother hen.
“It is really the only explanation, Frederik.
I do not want anything to do with that occult carry-on either.
We should really be satisfied.”
“That is wrong”, Erica says, attacking Karel.
“It is hiding behind René’s mask.
Is this not a mask, Frederik?”
“I do not think so, because you can see the things, after all.”
“Frederik is right, Erica, why should we make a fuss?
There is nothing the matter ...
Do the same as Anna, learn from it and just let it come to lightning.
You do not need to long for it, but what can you do about it?”
When Erica is upstairs with Anna, Karel asks:
“Tell me honestly, Frederik, is there any danger involved?
Could this not be harmful to the organic life of the child?”
“That is the only thing, Karel, which I think of.
The rest is invisible in front of you and gives you a beating.”
“That is the way it is.
But how in God’s name is it possible, Frederik.
What do we really know about a person?
If we could just clearly analyse a machine like that, not in death, but in life, we would probably know more.
They are problems.
I will be really interested to hear what the gentlemen have to say about it.
I want to have them here as soon as possible, I will let you know beforehand.”
“Thank you, Karel.”
That will be really something!
It is what I long for.
It will be a treat; I want to hear the gentlemen now.
Four days later, we meet up.
René is fine, there is nothing the matter again.
Erica pours tea, while we sit around the fireplace smoking.
Karel is sitting opposite me, next to him is Hans, and then Dr. Ten Hove, between me and the wagtail are Dr. Van Stein and Dr. Van Hoogten.
Gathered here are: a layman with five doctors, amongst whom a psychologist-psychiatrist, namely Hans, a general practitioner, a paediatrician and a gynaecologist – a half university together.
What an overabundance, I think.
Dr. Ten Hove feels like he has been called to the Court, the man does not think, does not give any answer, he cannot find any explanation for it.
Stein looks serious, it is Dr. Van Hoogten now talking, but he does not want to know anything about spiritualism.
He feels more for the subconscious and the rest is over-estimation, which we do not understand and is apparently a word that sticks to the latter or continued to stick.
We have a look, Hans gets a coughing fit, Karel an inner convulsion.
Erica looks round the circle with a face as if a spider was making music, although the grand piano was closed.
What does Dr. Ten Hove think of it?
It is Karel who challenges him.
However, the wagtail does not know.
This name has not yet been materialised, but when I let Karel know how he should now see him, he laughs himself silly.
The personality of the wagtail is twittering, we cannot make any sense of it, it is neither science nor layman’s talk, and it is neither here nor there.
However, ... it is a strange case!
He does not know, after all.
Dr. Van Hoogten lets us know that he has heard of such a case once before.
However, then it concerned a child of three years, or even younger, which recited a verse by a somewhat corpulent poet, which was not an easy thing even for an adult dramatist.
Strange things exist in the world.
If he had looked at it from a Para psychological viewpoint, then there would have been material in it and it would have worthwhile to research it.
Hans does not say a word, he is waiting for me, and he will soon ask what I think of it, because the scholars do not know!
I am careful!
It continues to float between subconscious and influence; the unknown subconscious wins.
However, what is that exactly?
No one knows.
Hans, who is by no means an idiot, after all, who is very busy becoming a professor, is faced with a great problem and yet he does not know what to do about it.
They avoid the subject and keep talking about the health of the child.
Erica listens ... she will soon snap, I can see and feel ... you will see something.
The conversation goes back and forth.
The academics give analyses as to why a cow can laugh.
They whistle, they sing – it is really nice.
The words have been chosen extremely well, there is nothing the matter with them, but they do not come through the mask.
I am enjoying myself!
Now we are faced with laying the foundations.
Yet, I will not be able to give them an answer, because I would have to start from the very beginning again and it would take more than three weeks before I am finished.
Erica speaks up:
“There you are now ... at a loss for words.
What a university.
Where are you now, Hans?
How much did you learn during your big journey?
Now you can give lectures!
And you, Karel?
When I was walking round with my phenomena visible you did not even know, what do you hope to know about this?
You will never know!
He does not dare to ask me a question, now out of respect for my personality.
Is it deadly serious to him?
They look ...
“Frederik has an extraordinary explanation for it.
I have to say: actually the only answer.”
“Tell us, Frederik ...!”
It is Hans who is asking.
Dr. Ten Hove and Dr. Van Stein just shrug their shoulders, Dr. Van Hoogten with slightly less humility.
I tell them what I wrote in my diary and reported to Karel ...
Then it was back to thinking.
Hans asks again:
“Where did you get that certainty from, Frederik?”
Through what, you should have said, and then we will make progress.
This cannot be discussed gentlemen of the profession; you are not yet at that stage.
This university still has to awaken.
What you know about psychology, the chicken knows about its egg, it cackles a lot, but does not know the laws of its own nature.
It does not know that a soft egg pushes forward from its body, which is brick-hard less than a second later, although it is a great miracle, but which it does not actually cackle for.
Now that is the subconscious of René”
Here is a lunatic talking.
Yet, Hans says:
“A wonderful comparison, Frederik.
Hans has to laugh aloud.
Karel gives him a helping hand; Erica bursts out laughing.
Only Dr. Ten Hove and Dr. Van Hoogten – Dr. Van Stein likes things like this – pull a long face and think that they are being made a fool of.
Dr. Van Stein has changed somewhat; he has spent more time recently with Karel and now already knows me a bit.
“What do you mean exactly, Frederik?”
“It is very simple, Hans.
That thing with René is no different.
Before the head could carry out the work, it was materialised on the way.
What happens from behind with a chicken, races in René’s case through his big head, then it hops through his body and his hands get the chance to work it out.
Then his subconscious said something, his emotional life reacted and look, pooping followed!”
Outside they can hear Hans and Karel laughing.
Anna comes to see what is the matter; Erica already meets her and bursts out laughing again.
Dr. Ten Hove and Dr. Van Hoogten are the ones who think that they are being cheated on purpose this evening, they look at Karel and Erica and Hans is also under suspicion.
Hans asks me again to continue: I now feel that it is becoming worthwhile and I am open to it.
There is no scientific explanation.
They quote Freud, Adler and other famous people, they follow human history, go through theosophy and spiritualism again, in order to finally come home with an empty report.
They do not know.
Nothing can be done about it – they do not know!
Hans asks again, but is now interrupted by Dr. Ten Hove.
Dr. Ten Hove feels that this is his only salvation; Dr. Van Stein also helps him.
Dr.Van Hoogten looks at the others from a space, he lives for this study just above the street gutters and waits.
He takes it in a bit easier.
Dr. Ten Hove keeps Hans talking, Karel and Erica think it is a priceless comedy, they have never laughed so much before.
Then Hans gets the opportunity of shaking Dr. Ten Hove off him and he asks me again for an explanation.
“What do you wish to know, Hans”, I utter dryly, as if the child of three years old has awakened again.
Hans already sees that I think the whole affair is a fine carry-on.
He knows that I will now throw in the towel, but sometimes I will perhaps explain things very accurately.
“Just continue”, he says.
“We are waiting!”
“What can you say about these things now.
I tell you, I am just a layman.
You are learned people.
However, do you think my explanation is so trite?
Do you think that a chicken understands its own miracle?
I tell you, the answer is no, it is true.
A spider does not know either how artfully it spins its web.
If we people knew consciously all the things we have in our power, you and I would be capable of speaking to horses and all creatures, as if they were people.
Do you see a skin like that – such a life left behind?
It is as if you come to stand before Father Abraham and Isaac, who will then explain the whole bible to you in five minutes, which is not at all possible.
However, it started there.
I mean the deformed facial expression.
You now see nothing else but masks.
This is also wearing a mask, but I already told you: you can see from that drawing and writing where that mustard comes from.
Now Abraham has told you that there was no mustard, but abbey cough syrup, which you cure your children with!”
I have to stop ...
The laughter increases ...
It takes more than a quarter of an hour before spirits are a bit calmer.
Hans asks me again to continue.
Karel now pours a drink, we smoke some more cigars and Erica looks as if she has never been so happy.
I begin with deadly seriousness, but there is constantly something that wrenches me from the story and then there is nonsense.
That makes me think, because is it not exactly the same as in René’s case?
I start by saying:
“Although we see the facts, can check the actions, we are still faced with a mystery.
I do not dare to use the word occult, because I will then know that Karel and Erica will not sleep tonight.
However, if I am following a natural line, the details about René and about Erica during her pregnancy, as well as the details of that other woman who felt beforehand that she would get a beard, then I am standing in a garden with unfamiliar flowers, which I can pick just like ordinary flowers and put in a vase.
Now the powers therefore reach unity.
Do people like us know where we have lived?
Do the gentlemen believe in reincarnation, and rebirth?
Is the soul only on earth once?
Did the soul not lay wind eggs ever before?
Or is it still also accurate for its natural consciousness received through God?
Those wind eggs are now the unborn thoughts of the person.
It has to do with the life of the soul, is part of the subconscious, but represents its own world, which can never be seen by people like us.
We people draw from this, Beethoven and Mozart created as a result of it, Rembrandt painted, Titian as well, but René comes to pooping and writing poetry as a result of it ...
Is that so difficult to understand?”
They enjoy it, but I feel that the deadly seriousness in me is taking shape and thinks it is quite enough!
I am already disgusted by these academics, I think of only Karel and Hans as natural people, the others think that I am insulting their pantheon and cannot stand a bit of fun.
Dr. Ten Hove and Dr. Van Stein would prefer to run off. Dr. Van Hoogten is not far off it.
What do you want to talk about?
I am not yet that far myself.
Hans challenges me again.
He knows that we know more about it and have laid great foundations.
Yet, he understands me and says:
“It is meant seriously, is it not, Frederik, but which phenomena are they?
Is it possible that there is a question of a spiritualist influence?”
“Do you believe in a life after death?
Has the soul already been on earth more than once?
Is there a subconscious?
What do you know about the subconscious?
You talk about a subconscious, but what is it?
What do you know about the being and about the life?
Freud and all the others lose themselves in sexual nonsense, they are right about many things, have touched on things on which you now stand, but what is it?
You do not know!
You can bow to it.
What is the subconscious, Hans?
Just try talking your way out of it, talk in a very learned way so that I no longer understand a thing about it, I tell you: you do not know!
You are powerless.
Yet, there must be an explanation to be found for this.
I repeat: This child is a miracle.
I bet you all that this is a spiritual child prodigy. Our René is that!”
There they sit.
Erica is beaming.
Karel smiles and does not trust what is happening.
Hans knows me.
The others say nothing yet, now the wagtail is loosening up and asks:
“You are saying, Frederik, that Rene is a spiritual child prodigy?”
“Did you not hear what I just said?
Is what Beethoven and in particular, Mozart did not brilliant?
I know that this cannot be explained, for this purpose I would have to have the whole Universe in my pocket.
However, I will readily admit that I am just a layman, but I tell you that what is happening here, is supernatural.
I am no longer talking about that ‘pooping’, that is just a side issue.
However, just try imagining it?
What does a child like that know about Christ, gentlemen?
What does it know about an Apostle?
Should we not accept that the soul is an eternal personality?
Do you believe, I ask you again, in hells and heavens?
I tell you, Dr. Van Hoogten, and you as well, Dr. Van Stein, you are somewhat inclined towards the church, but if no faith, no religions had been born to this world, there would not be any crazy people either.
Is that such a stupid idea?
However, where does it lead us?
What are you trying to say if the soul has achieved no more experience than in this one life?
Do you believe that God gives one child everything and condemns the other?
Do you really believe in a Father of Love?
What kind of people are you – pardon me, I do not want to hurt anyone – but do you not think things through, do you not go deeper?
Do you remain on the surface of life and do you not wish to know anything about all those other things?
René has to be a spiritual child prodigy.
Even if nothing else arises, this is already enough to establish that we do not yet know about our human machine.
I tell you: we have not worked it out yet.
Whatever happens – and now listen carefully what a layman tells you – we will experience miracles.
All of this has to do with supernatural consciousness.
It comes from a world which Freud and the others would have been able to enjoy if they had had the sense for it, which has, however, not been proved by far.
For this purpose you have to go to the East, to ancient Egypt, if you wish to know, it is there where this ‘Lotus’ was consecrated!
Are you being bombarded with hundreds of thousands of problems?
I tell you that we are faced with this miracle for a new ‘age’!
Everything which people like us has achieved, started with wading in the mud.
Well, in this case it smells a bit like ‘child poop’ and is that now so terrible?
I bet with the gentlemen, well, I want to wage a bet with the gentlemen.
Do I want that?
No, we, namely René and I, against all of you!
Unimportant people like us against the world, against you, because we do not believe in a God who condemns!
It is our University against your unconsciousness, because that is the intention.
I could show you foundations, could explain much of what is happening, but you cannot be convinced.
I know that you cannot miss out any parts, but you do not think!
What Karel calls a process, which is nature to him, gets a higher consciousness from René and me, a personality that is eternal.
That becomes a person.
You are going to pieces with your own self.
You have cut it, you have seen that dead body, but you do not know what has lived in it.
It can now write and it is still a child!
People are worse than wild animals.
You do not understand that, because a child says it, which does not know a thing about language!
But try looking behind this mask?
Did you not see that soul flying?
Do you not wait with a person on his deathbed to see whether the soul will come or not?
You will not find that sacredness there anymore ...
The answer lies in the street gutters ...
You are right on top of it.
Now just make fun of everything and shrug your shoulders!
You cannot see any more or anything else, just put this Galilean behind bars as well!
Just hang him up or pull the soul from this body.
Just burn this life at the stake as well, and run away fast, because you yourself are afraid of accepting a God who is just and of devoting your life to this.
You do not dare to call a halt to your theologians ... you are afraid for your possession which has no value for our university, because you do not know the soul!
Did you really think that God sent His children to earth too soon?
They come exactly on time and they have gifts within them or they are here in order to build a consciousness for themselves.
René is one of them!
What is now a worry to Erica and Karel will soon be happiness!
Lunatics will help this world progress, and will elevate the human being to higher regions.
You cannot accept this, but you will see, the masses walk next to creation!
It is your lunatics!
Who throws a religious maniac into the madhouse, into Hans’ institution?
You do that as a theologian!
You kill the soul, because you talk of damnation.
Every word which is pronounced from the pulpit and which speaks of damnation, is a nail in the eternal coffin ... for the soul, which now sees its universal self smothered.
It is a slap in the face of God; it is its illness!
Stop with that damnation, God is a Father of Love!
What happens to René has to do with the subconscious, the soul and the spirit.
With progress and awakening!
With hell and heaven, with macrocosms and with microcosms.
This is great and supernatural, if you wish to know, because it brought a lunatic!
However, I no longer dare to say that all lunatics have lost their senses, the phenomena show that other laws are speaking.
I tell you, you will not find gallstones in this life, or any sawdust which flows straight through the liver to the kidneys and is balanced there in order to purify this life of every contamination, behind that the soul sees the mask.
However, you do not see that ... you are blind and will remain so?
Yet you laugh?
Are you so sure that all is well?
Do you really think that God has no more happiness for us?
That the soul achieves its divine ‘nirvana’ in the five minutes, which an earthly life lasts?
I tell you, if you want to get to know the soul, descend into this world, put on your other diving suit, because you feel a lack of the breath of life here.
Search for it in life, in yourself, the phenomena will show you the way upward!
Descend into this human, immeasurable self, get rid of theories ... lay new foundations – do not stand still, because you are particles of the new life!
Knowledge has no meaning, feeling does, because that is eternal!”
I look at Hans, and I can see by his eyes that I have been successful.
The others have sacred respect for his word.
“With Honours, Frederik!”
I thank him, and Karel and Erica shake my hand.
I see friendly faces; I feel submission.
Let it happen the way it happens.
Hans looks at Dr. Ten Hove ... the wagtail had fallen asleep, it is night to him and his kind.
He looks at his wife, who dances with Tom, Dick and Harry – somewhere, where he is not present.
Dr. Van Hoogten is dozing off and Dr.Van Stein looks full to the brim.
They talk for a bit and leave.
One attacked the other, now they all have their systems and proof.
Hans has become wiser, he thinks in a different way.
Vienna is guilty of it, Grinzing ... the wine, love as well!
The conversation goes back and forth, everyone says something, and the academics exchange thoughts.
They admit whole-heartedly that the spiritual faculties are at a dead point.
They do not need to feel ashamed; nothing can be done about it.
They follow René again, the phenomena of Erica and the other mothers.
They fly over the earth and talk about Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Freud, they go and have a look in ancient Egypt, enter a temple and just walk out again, they draw and scribble just like little René did.
Do they make progress?
There is nothing left of anything!
“Well”, Hans says, “what do we really possess.”
Technology can carry on, just like the doctor, for example Karel.
It is you, Dr. Van Hoogten and Dr. Van Stein, and the wagtail who pretends that he is not there.
“We do not know the soul!
We are powerless, but you have something to hold onto whilst we are empty-handed.
Illness and troubles in the world – whether you are crazy or seriously ill – they are troubles.
Our character is no good.
It is us!
We have to begin another age.
I wanted to be the only one who had to make the decisions!
Precisely, Frederik, I wanted to be allowed to say it, then everything would be different.”
But it is talking into an empty space.
Karel lets them out, they have talked until there is nothing left to say, the academics disappear, the stage empties.
They go all over the place, I remain the only one behind, but Erica comes back.
“You will never leave my child alone, will you, Frederik?”
“Never, Erica, if it is in my power, I will be there.
As long as I live I will be beside him.”
When Erica goes upstairs, I remain seated for a little while to think, but then it is also time for me.
There is silence around me.
I do not shiver, but a feeling within me asks: “Now what?”
However, I can see it.
My soul still wants to say something, and then I hear myself:
“Did you see all those masks?”
Then I left, the curtain closes, and we go onto the next act.
Is there still suspense?
A wave of feelings bombards me.
Now what this time ...?
I go straight home.
I feel like making some notes.
Someone is walking behind me who is mumbling to himself and is apparently angry about something or other.
That is not happiness either.
What is happiness?
I am happy!
What is harmony?
I want to become it!
Because I do not believe that, I am that.
The man is still mumbling.
He disturbs the peace that was within me.
I go for a little walk ...
There that is better.
That also gave me something to think about.
Another mask like that, always masks, you never see a person in harmony.
Is there no happiness?
How hard you are to understand, Father!