If you ask me, Erica, everything is going as wished
I have been to René, his condition is susceptible to change.
The boy has become stronger, it has done him good physically.
I saw him again amongst the other boys and what I had not expected was given to me, I was allowed to talk to him.
His dreadful wildness has suddenly dissolved again, the straitjackets could be put away again and he knew nothing more about all that misery.
When he saw me, his life flew into my arms.
At that moment I was sorry that Erica, Anna and Karel were not there.
However, at the end of my visit I saw that differently again and had to agree with the director, it was better like this.
He sunk back, not another word passed his lips and I could go home in order to inform the others.
But, put plainly ... there is a change in this life, his doctor also gives him his chance of full recovery.
But that will take a while.
If these phenomena had not been present, we would have had him home for the holidays.
Now nothing more will come of that, of course.
Terrible for Erica and Anna, but nothing more can be done about it, nothing, however sad it is.
When I asked him:
‘And René, what is it like here?’ he gave me a natural answer.
‘I prefer to be with Mother, Anna, Father and you.
Why may I not go home?
Why must I stay here, I belong with you, don’t I?
Why must I be ill?
I want to go home, Uncle Frederik.
May I go with you?’
And that after a few days.
‘You should have seen him’, his carer says, ‘he let rip like a big man.
Now he is like a little lamb again.
And yet, it was going so well, wasn’t it, but, you can never depend upon it.’
I believed him, we also knew him like that.
We have already known this life, this soul, for so long, but there is progress.
I walked round a bit with him.
We walked on hand in hand.
I ask him something, he gives me an answer.
He keeps on saying: I want to go home, Uncle Frederik, I want to go to Mother, Anna, Father.
And that is heart-wrenching.
But what can you do?
I am busy bring him under my powers while walking.
I want to try and see whether that is possible.
I send him all my healing loving.
I know how he absorbs these life forces and then sucks himself full from them.
I want to achieve that he will be stronger, that he will deal with those attacks as it should be.
Even if it strikes him, he must be able to cope with it, I know that straitjacket, I know him in that state, that is a torture for him.
And I can feel it, René becomes calm.
He no longer asks for father and mother, he does not talk, he just looks ahead of him, he seems to have forgotten everything and everyone.
I want to press him to my heart, but I may not do that.
It is not my child, but I love this life so much, as if it has become a part of my blood, a piece of my heart.
Oh, if only I was allowed to take care of him.
What a mercy this would be.
I get the proof already, that I am doing well.
I think of his drawings and paintings.
A moment later I already hear:
‘Uncle Frederik, when may I draw and paint again?
Go on, will you ask for me?’
Look, I think, how natural that is.
He realises that he must ask the doctor that.
But I believe that he will soon be allowed to draw, although people are not that far here.
‘I will ask about it, my boy.
Of course, if you are yourself, you feel strong enough, then it will be possible.
But you must not be ill, then they have their hands full with you and then you must go on that horrible bed again.
Isn’t it the case, René?’
‘Yes, Uncle Frederik.’
‘What is it like with me?’
‘I will tell you soon, Uncle.’
‘Good, and do not forget!’
We walk a bit, I start to feel that he is getting sleepy.
He cleans out his eyes in the middle of the day.
The powers are already working.
It will help little René.
He will become stronger as a result of this.
It is spiritual peace.
The child can also accept what can be achieved with the older human being.
I now see the grades here for psychopathy ... I see the different heights and depths for these illnesses.
There are boys amongst them who definitely have to accept their material misery, but I now think of the ... inner deformation, the smothering of all these systems by the soul.
I now start to see them more clearly.
René is apparently in perfect health, physically he is far above many other boys.
More light can be seen in his eyes.
His figure is not as distorted as that of many boys, which I do give a damn about, because I feel that we now see the unconscious for the soul and the personality more sharply before us.
René is an ordinary child; he is ill, but I now see that I will be right about everything and was also right.
This life deforms itself of its own accord.
We must have time, we may not disturb him now, we must continue to watch over him.
I myself now lie down in his life.
I let my will do everything.
Meanwhile, I feel, a life force radiates towards him, which he sucks in like blood.
This comes forth from my soul.
In the East people call this the life fluid of the human being.
I believe in it.
I have received my proof.
By consciously surrendering your happiness, your thinking, your knowledge to these patients – it does not matter what the illness is – you help the soul to accept the material existence.
This is my support, which we have now already passed onto each other consciously and as a result of which he becomes so calm.
I now believe that I would be able to carry out useful work in such institutions, but it is strange: I do not feel called to it.
There is another power in my life, which says: no, you must not do that!
You must just have patience, but not that!
You can help people who are sent on your path in passing, but not that.
Not this, then you are locked up and you can no longer do anything for the other life, for that life, which needs new foundations.
I feel that so certainly, that I am calm because of it, or I would really lock myself up here.
Is René and are all those children served by it!
I now see that only a few can be reached.
The rest will remain apathetic, those boys cannot be helped!
They are exactly like the old, the mad human being, even if they represent a very different grade here for these illnesses.
I have worked it out, I believe, but I still do not have any certainty.
If I follow René, I come to Erica and her pregnancy.
If we receive those foundations, it now tells me that all these boys started this so terrible deformation inside the mother.
I know, I have already filled many a page about it, but now I see the systems for it more clearly, because I was able to admire all those mad people, because I opened myself for their misery.
I now see that I have become richer.
Little René will soon come to us for a few days.
Even if this will be painful for him, it is no different for us, yet he must experience that other atmosphere for a moment again, if we do not wish to become estranged from his life.
If I follow his little soul, I do not believe that he will forget us.
And look, what does the soul child say?
‘I will never forget you, Uncle Frederik.
But where have you been all that time?
Were Mother and Father on a trip?’
‘No, my dear, I was away for a few days, but Father and Mother are not going on a trip.
When they go, René, then all of us will go.
And it is only then that we will have fun.’
‘Yes, we will, then we will have fun.
He sinks back.
Where did he get this from!
We now see that if people like us are sensitive, nothing more can actually be hidden.
He feels that one or more of us had gone on a journey.
We were actually all away.
Erica and Anna and also Karel have their feelings, which were intended for René, used for something else.
What were worries for them about me, René feels as if they were on a trip.
You see, I thought, the child missed us, the contact was ripped apart.
We are probably to blame for his misery the past few weeks.
Is it not very natural?
But I must think about it.
Yet it hits me.
I am serious as a result of it.
I now know that I must not lock myself up, everything is good as it comes to us.
René here and we yonder, together we do one work, it is our hearts which heal each other and will love.
But he feels it, he is sent that broken contact, he picks up our emotional life infallibly and bears the suffering and sorrow of it for himself, he absorbs it!
How can it be, but I am faced with these facts!
We were on a trip, at least I was, but my friends followed me from the moment when Hans told them that I had gone mad.
And that goes straight to this life.
My God, we are infinitely deep, but we do not know it!
I was allowed to walk with him for an hour.
When the male nurse came to us, little René said to me:
‘And now you want to know, Uncle Frederik, what it is like for me with you?’
‘If you take me to Mother, I will tell you.’
‘You must have patience, boy, we will soon be that far.’
I tear myself away from the child.
When the male nurse disappears with him it is as if I am bleeding to death.
My God, what is it, that ties me like this to this life?
I have trouble not to succumb.
I must devote all my powers into controlling myself, it hurts so much.
Little René is sleepy.
He may rest for a while.
When the male nurse comes back to me he says:
‘He has become tired ...
The child is sleeping and that will do him good.’
The director says:
‘We are making progress.
You can tell the Wolff family that they may be satisfied, we also keep seeing him changing.
This development takes him to natural thinking.
It is as if you say: he thinks more sharply, the thoughts are ‘thought’ before they come out.
Really, we may not be dissatisfied.
After a time you will get him back for a few days.
Then there will not be so much risk attached to it.
I will do what I can.’
When I come home everyone must know how it is.
Karel already knows his child, he thinks that he sees an analysis for himself, but is still unclear at the end and just surrenders it.
When Erica asks how her darling is, I can say:
‘If you ask me, Erica, everything is going as wished.
Soon we will get him home for a few days.
I have discussed that with the doctor and he thinks the same as we do.
He wants to see how he bears up.
If he falls back, then it will no longer be a loss.
On my part I think that the longing to return home will make him stronger.
Now the will grows.
Now other powers reach consciousness and he needs them.
This longing must take him back to us.
In this way we will keep on seeing him for a short time.
Meanwhile it will strengthen his conscious.
You will see that it is like this, will happen like this.’
The women can understand it.
But now that I am sitting in front of the logbook, open the pages and read that I already predicted this years ago, then fear no longer comes over me, but a happy feeling, that will now warm me and the others.
It is happening as I was always able to feel and imagine as a result of his phenomena.
We will now get our child back, we must only have a bit of patience.
I told them nothing about my goings-on, they do not yet understand this.
However, in the logbook it says:
I have seen little René again and I may say that I am extremely satisfied.
There was nothing to that new attack of wildness, it means nothing.
There are months between them, holes are filled here, his soul life gets to see a very different mentality.
No, we do not need to worry, we are progressing slowly but surely!
I was able to experience wonders again.
René saw and felt my mad behaviour as a trip, he felt alone and abandoned.
This now tells me that we can help him.
We must continue to think about him.
We may not weaken our thinking for his life.
This helps him!
This takes care of him, this carries him through difficult times.
Little René is more conscious.
If he is a bit calmer, he can leave the institution for a while.
And now you can talk to this life.
It is remarkable, the doctor also feels it as I do.
The man wanted to wait for a while, but then he receives tools in order to draw.
It is only then, when his character possesses that certainty, he is not thrown so much to the left and to the right, that people can let him do something else, or it will take him back to the last situation, which comes down to straitjackets, and that is not the intention!
He is in good hands there, as a result of certainty and some calmness the soul awakes; people think naturally there and this is little René’s recovery.
I play my part in it, as the others do, all of us live for one purpose.
Can it be any different?
I also noted:
My hypnotic powers went into René like a piece of cake.
By giving him my hand, I felt, a power flowed to him.
It will become enlightening.
What you give the human being or the soul while going to sleep, happens consciously here.
I believe that you can experience wonders in this way and that you can then see through soul and spirit as a result of all the laws of God.
I would like to know how little René would act if I put him under (hypnotic) anaesthetic.
How will his soul react?
What kind of wonders will I then experience?
I will decide for myself.
I think that Anna is also suitable for it, but I do not want to disturb those lives.
I will see wonders, experience wonders as a result of an imposed sleep.
Oh, if René was ever to sleep as a result of me, what would his soul have to tell me?
Probably supernatural matters.
My God, what kind of possibilities do I see!
Two weeks have passed.
Christmas was an emptiness for us.
However, this morning there was a telephone call; there were notes again.
We had already forgotten those things.
Now we are suddenly faced with problems again.
What is the matter?
I got a fright.
Did my power not help!
‘Hans’ chick ... father’s peter, mother’s poop, Anna’s buttocks and Uncle Frederik’s pipe.
I am laughing myself silly!’
And the other note reads:
‘I am the pan and the pot, for which we do not have a lid.’
The doctor says: strange, but not frightening.
We know that.
It is a pity that those cursed notes still come back.
The doctor also says: a moment later he is himself again.
You notice nothing when those things come.
His intellectual capacity is now upset.
I thought: have I given him too much?
Did I work on this life too firmly?
I think so.
Or, this effect, which is now a disturbance, is soon healing.
We just wait and see, but no more notes came.
I start to think that I am right.
Four days later another note.
‘Daddy ... look at your mummy, she has run wild!’
He is busy with us.
There also follows:
‘Uncle Frederik, little Anna ... are you looking through the key-hole?
Oh, what ... what ... what ... do I see?’
He is learning something, comes to me, the things people give him to learn, attach themselves to his brain.
I can tell the others that we are making progress.
Just let it go, those notes mean nothing now, I think that we are seeing all the phenomena experienced again, but now weakened, because he is experiencing his return to the normal.
But the others are afraid again, are shocked, no longer know what to do.
And it came so unexpectedly!
Had I started cheering too soon?
I do not think so, but try helping them.
I cannot do anything about it.
I will see what I can do for our René.
In my sleep I experience the hour again that I was walking with him.
Now that I am free from the daily things, lie down and dream, I see everything differently.
When I ask him whether he knows everything, he immediately says:
‘You gave it to me yourself, Uncle Frederik.
I feel as fit as a fiddle now.
I am not ill, I will soon be home.
Oh, how happy I am.’
I hear him say it.
I see it on that narrow little face, I now know, the boy is recovering, he will soon be able to learn better, even if we get to see other phenomena.
At that moment I am awake.
I go over everything and reach deep thought.
I have fallen asleep again and come in to contact with the boy again.
I am sitting in my garden again, the house between life and death, there where we once already had met each other before.
That house drew me from the daily life and that environment begins to talk to me and wants me to listen.
All that neighbourhood wants me to come.
I sit down there again and wait.
In the distance I see a dot, but in all of this environment there are no people to be seen.
What does that dot yonder want?
I see that the thing is moving.
It comes to me, it walks, it runs, it is a human child.
It is little René!
A moment later he is standing in front of the gate.
‘May I come to you, Uncle Frederik?’
‘Come, my dear, I have already been waiting for you.’
He flies into my arms.
I ask him:
‘How can you run so fast, René?’
‘That comes from the institution, Uncle Frederik.
I am starting to think.
That is good for me, do you know that?
Were you afraid of the notes, Uncle Frederik?’
‘Not me, but Father and Mother were so shocked.’
‘Oh, I thought so, but you do not need to be afraid, do you?
I already know exactly what I am doing.’
‘What are you doing then?’
‘Picking flowers for Father and Mother.
When I come home soon you will see them, Uncle Frederik.
But you are making the wind blow, aren’t you?
You are doing that!
I can see it, even if you think that I cannot see it.
I can see everything, but then I am asleep, just like now.’
When I think about everything, he says:
‘How nice and young you are now, Uncle Frederik, aren’t you?’
‘Yes, my boy, I can also feel that, I am much younger here.’
And he says:
‘If only the people knew that, Uncle Frederik.
Since they do not look, they do not make it.
I am very old and you are much younger.
Did I not tell you that I would outrun you again?’
‘Have you not forgotten that then?’
‘Here’ - he points to his stomach - ‚you do not forget anything.
I have said it for such a long time, but the boys do not believe me.’
‘Where do you get all of this from, René’
‘Can you not hear it then?
Do you not hear that you can listen to it?
Where are you now?
What are you doing?
What do you want?
What is the matter with you?
I will save you.
Uncle Frederik, if you want to save me.
And this is why I have come to your little house.
Did you see those doves there?
Did you see how they fly?
I also have doves.
I have white ones and black ones.
The black ones are not nice, they want to write notes and I do not want that.
I will get them.
Now we are having a nice sleep, aren’t we, Uncle Frederik?
And yet we are awake, aren’t we, Uncle Frederik?’
‘That is the way it is, my dear, and God knows that it is good.’
‘Can you now see how old I am, Uncle?’
‘I can see it.’
‘Now, how old am I then?’
‘At least ninety years old.
Now then, is that the case?’
‘I was that old yesterday.
You are not going on a trip again, are you?’
‘No ... I will stay at home now.’
‘Good, and then I will come back soon.
I long so much for Father and Mother and Anna.’
‘Do you still know them?’
‘How can you ask that, Uncle Frederik.
I will not forget them.
After all, I am almost twenty years old, amn’t I?
Did you see Marja already?’
Who is Marja?’
‘Do you not know that then?
I have known her for so long already.
I will see her again.
Yes, Marja, Uncle Frederik.
Later, because I will go to sleep now.
Goodbye, Uncle Frederik.
I will come soon.
I will bring flowers, look, these ones.’
He shows me a bunch of flowers.
A yellow daisy protrudes from it.
They are arranged artfully.
He also calls to me:
‘Will you come and collect me, Uncle Frederik?
As you took me away?
Greetings to Mother and Anna.’
I hold onto that life, but it tears itself away and flies through this universe.
It is gone!
I walk on.
I go back home, I take a path which I already used to take before.
I walk from the sun to the shadow, from daylight to night.
When I reach home I go into the little garden, open the door without a key, I walk upstairs and crawl under the blankets.
And at that moment, because the woollen blanket is so itchy, made my nose itchy, and I got a fright as a result of the itch, I wakened up.
I jump out of bed, put on the light and sit down at my logbook.
Tonight, just a moment ago, experienced wonderful things again.
I was with little René.
He took a walk towards me, I went to him.
I met him in our little house.
He told me about the notes and about my wind, which he felt and had received.
I understand it, it is the hypnotic wind which wants to make him better.
The child itself comes to tell me that.
Is it not wonderful?
The child René as soul is also a human being.
However, I may not yet accept these dreams as the full truth.
I mean, if I was able to experience all of this, then I would already be faced with all of my university and I would be able to say that the soul as a human being has to represent its own world separate from the material body and it is there, as people like us are: a human being!
It has a body, it can think and talk as we do in the material body, it has eyes and a warm heart, it has everything there which we have to accept in this life as material senses.
It is a great wonder, but I may not miss out pieces, however much I would like to.
I am younger there and little René is older.
I put the fact that I am younger down to my childish nature, or it came to me because I experience these dreams.
The most wonderful thing is that you are so happy there.
The sun shines there, the surroundings are extremely beautiful, but there are no people to be seen.
Therefore this world belongs to us, or it came about because you as a human being long for it.
Could this therefore be a dream of longing, a world which you build up as a result of asking questions and the own longing for a better world?
It is this which holds me back, wants to bring me to a standstill, without that I would sing out with joy and bliss.
However, it is still a wonder, because I see how lucky and normal René is there.
I received proof – and other proof will come – but I have not yet worked it out.
I may therefore not yet go into it, even if I feel certainty.
I may never forget that people like us experience telepathic unity.
And that means that you can pick up thoughts which are sent to you from afar.
I therefore pick up René’s longing and he picks up mine.
I know better, but I write down all these thoughts, because they belong to my conscious, I will therefore not go a step further!
I want to go further, but I want to have certainty.
I am therefore busy elevating a ‘spiritual science’, of which I myself can experience the laws.
And this will become the great wonder, that I want to place in all the human hearts and hands of this world, it is only then that a new life will begin.
And now we get to see happiness, so beautiful, that we do not yet know!
Little René already knows that happiness, I myself have seen and felt it.
But I repeat ... I will not go a step too far.
I must first see foundations and it is only after that I will lay them next to or on the last one!
There is no more, I will therefore go to sleep again.
I just hope that I no longer know anything tomorrow about everything which I now experienced.
I can then say to myself ... I was writing like a soul.
I thought as a soul, I talked as a soul, I love as a soul, as I never loved as a human being.
However, that belongs to the supernatural longings in the human being.
I say now and even more emphatically than before: everything is possible for God!
You cannot know it, everything lies under your human heart.
I am almost sleeping already.
When Anna comes I have already been awake for an hour.
I have slept well.
I feel rested.
I have a vague memory inside me of René.
How is the boy?
It is a power which sends me to the logbook.
When I am holding the book in my hands, I almost have a heart attack from fright.
I read ...!
Has my soul written?
Do I think, as I do now, as soul?
Can the soul go out of its body and experience all kinds of things?
It made me go cold all over.
I cannot understand it, because I know nothing about all of this.
But I am beginning to understand it.
I am a sleepwalker and write things up in my sleep.
Or it is the greatest wonder which I have discovered.
If the first part is correct, people like us are wonders.
Then the influence of Karel is a great and wonderful event.
That is actually everything!
Then are people like us supernatural beings as souls?
Nothing of the sort, at least not yet, however, we are also separate from every material, every material tissue, a human being.
That is the soul or the spirit!
Oh, I almost collapse from happiness.
I put the book away; if they were to come now I would have to explain my attitude and I do not want to say a word about it.
It is too wonderful, too incredible.
I will think about it.
This, which is life, can think.
That, which is soul, is there, in that world, a human being and a personality.
And that human being loves, is supernaturally gifted, because as a personality you possess everything which you want to have.
You can move, you can speak, you can pick flowers there, you can do everything, everything, which you also think you can do as a material being, if you love life!
I felt: harshness, lies and deception, you no longer feel the meanness of our social life.
I do not yet know what would happen if harshness or deception radiated from my life, however, I think that I would remove myself from that land, an invisible hand would take me by the scruff of my neck and fling my dismal personality out.
It is incredible what I experienced and was able to feel and I will think a great deal about it for the time being, so that that sacred atmosphere will also reach awakening within me.
When I think that I have already been there several times, it makes me sad, because I did not understand it.
But I will be careful now, I will continue in peace.
I also believe that I was not yet open to it then and then people like us are faced with sacred matters and do not feel it.
We want to be right about everything and yet we know that demonic reacts in us for a hundred percent in order to destroy the good and the very best of others!
I will not be available for it.
God preserve me ... it does not bear thinking about!
However, if the soul truly possesses a next life, then we will also be able to return to Sonja.
And likewise the many other people, whom we were able to get to know.
The other people, who had to let go of the daily consciousness as a result of their illnesses and had to accept the miserable, everything together is the possession of the soul, the spatial field of vision for its life and the next one, to which it belongs and is apparently attuned to.
I will then come back to René and Erica, all those mothers, all those mad people, who felt in advance what would happen, as a result of which they experienced their cause and effect.
I now believe that these are the laws for the soul, for our inner life.
And that is my study, as a result of which I am building my own university!
And if what I am looking for is not real, then it would be sleepwalking with ‘consciously knowing, consciously acting and thinking’!
It is a strange thing, but the mad people find themselves there, live there.
One is sick as a result of it, another does art as a result of it.
I see amazing aspects.
They play an awe-inspiring role for our life, as a result of which the human soul awakens.
I am now starting to feel that fatherhood and motherhood are one of the very highest aspects for our life and existence in this universe, for which purpose the God of all life created His children.
And if I was able to see behind it, I would be faced with the Universe of His Being, Soul, Spirit.
Personality, Fatherhood and Motherhood, Life, Light, Love!
Isn’t that something?
People like us float every second of our life in that universe, the material then, this universe.
I am now starting to feel that people like us possess universal conscious, but that we must master His gigantic conscious.
People like us are one with Sun, Moon and Stars and we received our life as a result of it.
Now we must accept that we are infinite in everything!
I am busy solving those mysteries and I see, I am already a long way.
I will continue, but I must be oh so careful.
I know what awaits me.
If I succumb I will be like Antoon, the linguist, like Herman Donkers, the minister, who did not find his God and went mad, because Jehovah forgot to give his address, he is now searching day and night, but does not reach the square where Jehovah lives.
I saw, believe me, the flag hanging at half-mast, by which I mean, that hundreds of thousands had to pay a high price for their searching and were locked up consciously or unconsciously for this life.
However, Herman did not see that, he did not see that he was walking in a dead end, and broke his precious neck, his life breath flew away, his uninspired spirit died an extraordinary death.
And there he sits; nothing can be done about it!
Is that not frightening!
I will not come there, I will now stay away from it, because it makes me so sad.
Those people hang on a high wall, I already said ... they forgot their ladder and not one has been made which guarantees them the return to this good earth.
They flew so high. Jehovah looks from behind his own mask at all these cheated souls of Our Lord.
Is that really a sport?
However, we have to do with God, we want to go upwards with God, not as a result of such a demonic chaser to the material and spiritual misery, to complete destruction!
Little René will point the one tree out to all of us.
I believe that!
I know that!
Powers flow from me to this inner life and they are picked up yonder.
His sensitive soul absorbs this truth.
I do not need to worry about anything, the laws speak, they will place all of us before the ‘sacred awakening’!
We are starting a new life!
We are already beginning to count the days when the boy will be back in our midst.
How it is possible that I am so sure ... I do not know, although we possess proof, that every separate phenomenon wants to be and mean a foundation.
I know, it is Faith, Hope and Love, as a result of which people like us will move mountains, but, if you are not behind it yourself to inspire hope, faith and love, that will not help you one jot either!
We are given nothing; if you do not wish to go near it, good ... one day you will be open to it anyway, in whatever way, I now know that for certain, the heads will droop!
No more is necessary if you wish to reach the ‘sacred awakening’ for your soul and spirit, you are already in it!
And the rest of all those universes, those are laws!
And I believe that little René will explain those to us!
Is that not amazing?
I am starting to understand how it will happen.
And then we sober Westerns will have moved to an Oriental camp, where we see oranges growing on our Dutch trees, inside of which the seed lives, which possesses, expands, access to all worlds of God!
I learned so much again today, it is awe-inspiring.
I do not believe either, that I will think differently about it tomorrow.
I would wish to say: ‘In His name people like us will be rich.’
However, who believes it?
I do in any case!
And the others, who are not yet so far, will still make it.
It is strange, one person senses everything and another soul suffocates in it and does not believe it.
That is one becoming conscious for all of us, we must look for the opening for our spiritual heart, because that must be able to believe everything, because it is inspired directly by the God of our life!
Now you do not see any blood flowing, what you now see and can feel, is ‘sacred love’!
When my soul may dream again, I will say it!
My God, what a wonder it is.
I wrote outside of myself.
I as the personality, which had gone to sleep, wrote outside the day conscious thinking and feeling.
Now we can make fun of it, yet this is something to think about.
Let a dream like that be childish, or whatever, it still happens.
I already had a premonition of it ... otherwise these words would not have passed my lips either.
I am starting to think that we are sent consciously towards one goal and that there the coffee and cake of Our Lord are ready for our life, so that we may still our hunger and thirst.
With that goal before our eyes we will continue!
This is for the logbook!
I sent the nurse flowers, even more beautiful than the first ones.
She does everything for Piet and his niece, in order make life as pleasant as possible for these two.
And I told her what I was able to keep for her and her love.
There is also a letter from above, one with ribbons, they are pink colours!
I think that they will be happy.
I also consider Piet as my own child.
It is an overwhelmingly beautiful feeling to be able to love adult children.
Hans also takes care of Ansje ... because the nurse has done so much for his patients.
So we see again, anyone who does good is noticed one day and then it is receiving, the gifts come walking into your little house.
By destroying something, you will never make it!
I have everything to spare for it, there is enough money and with money you can serve children of God.
And He above our head wants to see that done; it is only now that we will be open and exposed to His laws and you will give ‘Hope, Faith and Love’ a push in the right direction, now they are foundations for your later better self!
The good fruits grow on that tree.
So I am busy picking them ... ‘Just lash out at my life’, I call, I send upwards, ‘I know no more fear for funeral pyres and lions’ dens.’
And that as a result of a mad child?
Everything is evolution.
But for us another mask!