What do you think, Frederik, will René soon come home now?
A few more hours and I will be home again.
Now I will never leave again, I received that knowledge on the way, lying at the foot of the Pyramid of Gizeh, the moon full above me.
The Sphinx also spoke of it, I understood every word; even if that life spoke according to a ancient grammar, which I did not know, but each letter of which I experienced inwardly, so that I understood that incredible soul.
I was given this so supernatural certainty there just like that.
Of course I was open to it, otherwise I could not have listened to that sacredness.
I was not imagining in any way that this life would lift up the shroud of Her Majesty the Goddess Isis, of Ra and Ré, for me, I would then have been better to return home as soon as possible, because people there throw down human curiosity before your eyes and personality.
Now there is no more existence, everything closes itself off for your life amazingly well, you are a stranger there.
You now stare into a dark night, you feel alone and abandoned and people do not extend a hand to you, because you have started to provide your imagined self with a pedestal.
This is the irrevocable halt for your life and conscious!
An initiate or a priest cannot help you.
They do not look for you, they have no contact now, the doors of these sanctuaries are closed for your life.
You have to bow your head there and it is only then that the long waiting comes, the preparation for the experience of the universal unity.
You lie there on a mat, from early morning until late evening, even until deep in the night, you do not think of food or drink, you surrender yourself completely, until a message comes for your life.
You wait for one word, one thought, one sign, one loving act, one spiritual contact, for which you have gone that long way.
Anyone who has no patience, can leave.
Those people are picked out just like that, for them that ancient mysticism remains deathly empty, the mask remains silent!
I was there in order to get an answer for little René and myself and I got it!
If there is no complete surrender and honest striving present in you, then there is no question of spiritual breakthrough!
What I waited for my whole life, I received there.
For me a supernatural gift.
I had lay down at seven o’clock in the morning, it was only at three o’clock at night that I heard the ‘voice’ speaking to my life and the wonder happened!
The moon stood precisely blood-red in the sky and I accepted the word greedily.
It gave me a shock under my heart, but I kept myself upright.
This whispering happiness is indescribable.
You must be able to experience it yourself in order to feel the universal depth of it.
Now you know what wonder is set aside for you and which you have to do with, just like everyone whom you love.
Now the old in your life revives, that which you did not expect, suddenly approaches you and you see that personality as a shape, the mask of which laughs at you, but which you can see through.
Now that same mask is lit up from behind.
You do not believe it, yet it is the sacred truth!
The voice is great, deep and true, when the life of it elevates you spiritually.
You are now sent the true holy water as it were, from a space, which you felt as closed.
Suddenly you feel that soft, loving thing in your face.
It is like a wet wind, but it is very pleasant, which nourishes your soul and spirit, blood circulation and your living heart.
Now you smell a sacred breath of life and you also absorb it, then you think that you possess wings in order to go where you wish.
And you have received wings, you will now float, if you just watch out how you left home, because it is possible to get lost.
I also flew around there, but then the good old Sphinx called to me:
‘Frederik, do not go too far away from my life, it is too dark yonder for you.
You are not yet so far, that you can hear me there.’
I went back immediately.
I listened to the Goddess and thanked the life for all the good and greatest given to me.
And yet, under all this sacred flowing together, as I call it, I was able to experience everyday fun.
I also got to know and understand the Sphinx.
She likes a good, cheery joke.
As long as it is not accompanied by music for strings, the wonderful life says, because I hate that.
I cannot stand that grating noise!
And that is clear; I could not hide there with my sober Dutch mischief, I therefore had to throw all those boyish feelings overboard and put on the other mask, if I wished to penetrate her life.
The Goddess understood that and she thought it was splendid!
Together we drunk from the old wines, again we entered the Temples of Ra, Ré and Isis, not forgetting Luxor, and experienced that most wonderful glorious time, of which we know the laws and experienced the universal construction.
I do not like flirting, but if my friends had seen me there, they would have sworn that I am a hypocrite, a sneak, because I lay day and night in those arms in order to be caressed.
I kissed that inner life with my inner powers, as consciously as possible, as if heaven and earth depended on it.
And I was not mistaken, I was one with those eyes, complete in surrender, then I experienced the abstract consecration, which, the more I descended into the life, received a material likeness and was just like we people!
Material, soul, spirit ... at least if it is the case!
Because I have still not come there, have I?
I remained there for a few months, day in day out.
There were no Sundays for me, I experienced a treat every day!
And invisible guidance could be seen and determined in this.
I was certainly not on a wrong track.
Every step which I took was lit up, as it were; I did not come across any mantraps and clamps.
The ‘voice’ kept telling me: watch out, Frederik, you must not put your feet there and there.
There is a snake in the grass.
I just said then: thank You!
You will certainly see it ... I can bow my head!
And then you should have experienced that sensitivity, it was like a divine gift!
I considered it as the protection for my life and being.
I was a human being of flesh and blood, I came straight from the sober West, but I begged for awakening.
And then I was one from feeling to feeling!
Paris was the first city which received me after I had left.
I wanted to go back to my loved ones from Paris.
While flying onwards, the mechanical rattle under my feet, I reflect upon everything and I experience the sanctities again.
In my thoughts I return to all those countries where I have been and now enjoy them even more than when I was there, because it now speaks to me livelier, more consciously.
I have gained material for ten wonderful books.
They are books with becoming conscious, spiritual awakening, also human emotion, of love and happiness, eternal humanity!
You learn to think as a result of them and see how you must and must not do it, they give you the answer to thousands of questions and take you along a path which connects you with all that beauty!
However, I do not believe that I will write them, I think that this, which I experienced, the actual work serves as material foundations.
However, I am also just a human being, which means that people never know what kind of inspirations they will get tomorrow.
Something tells me that it will not happen and I resign myself to it, I have another purpose in my head, kidneys and heart, a direct purpose.
If I think back to the wonderful hours with my friend the Sultan of Sjoehoe, the hours with Mohammed Raf, the high priest from Tibet, to the monks on the Glorentes mountain, where I stayed for three long months in order to take part in their consecrated development hours, their unity with Gods and the God of all life as we know, accept, believe in Him ... when I stand before such good men, all those incredibly beautiful women as priestesses of nobility, then I weep like a small child and people think I am banal, childish and probably an old fool.
However, I also know that they begrudge me it!
I was there ... I know all those people, they have become my sisters and brothers!
However, when they look carefully at my head, they see that I come back rejuvenated and that I have changed staggeringly.
I know, no one guesses how old I am, I know myself what I look like.
I have become a thousand years younger, I feel resilient, happy, as strong as Hercules ...!
My footstep is purposeful, I know what I want and what I can achieve, my word is final; light has entered me, human joy, every action is calculated in the light of my inner thoughts and feelings.
I am now longing to know what they think of me.
And how are all my children?
I followed them from there and I spoke to their lives.
I know exactly how little René is and that it will be a while before he has reached the normal.
There are beautiful days, wonderful hours for the child, but then that darkness comes again and he cannot be controlled.
However, being locked up for three years and for me three years of supernatural concession, experiencing each other’s souls, takes you to another time, which of course brings consciousness.
For us these years were awakening, it was a revelation; for the others emptiness, the longing for one human being who had left, a good friend and a father and brother, as they had got to know me, such as I could be for them all.
For little René and me this time was spiritual gain; the laws for soul, spirit and material have spoken infallibly and we reached unity as a result of this!
I gave them my happiness through my letters.
They know one thing and another about my experiences, I kept the rest for myself and they will hear it later.
Now I look at a familiar landscape: cows in a meadow.
A wonderful difference with where I was.
I experience all of this with joy, because I want me to be of some use to them later and I know that that eastern atmosphere still lives in my day-conscious.
They would get the feeling: you are here and you are not here, which usually brings an estrangement for many people.
I want to make sure that they see me as I left, I want to be close to them, I want to live under their hearts.
It should be like this!
And all these cows, the flat landscape, these real Dutch farms, that amazing beauty, helps me to return to the core of their lives.
If I do not do that, then the eastern shatters this Dutch authority in and around me, which now drowns in the hot and unfamiliar beauty of the East.
I want to prevent that happening!
This inner gain takes all of us to a new time, for which I want to serve.
It will be bliss for all of us.
They will not see false shapes in anything, the life will stand opened before them and it will say: can you see me now?
And it is only now that the heads bow and the masks fall!
They will experience the unnatural and the supernatural justice, if they wish to be open to it, or would that be not be possible again?
And I will accept my last self again, I feel closer to their lives then, I love that natural talk; I come out with it as the heart inspires it in you.
Now I can say, my task lies there!
I will never leave again, I have seen and was able to experience what people expect of me.
But it is little René!
The gifts which I have with me, bridge every negligence on their part, I do not buy any souls with it: from my heart, through my love for these lives, these gifts were bought and received.
It is René and it will be he who now gives form to the becoming supernaturally conscious by means of inner awakening ... on which they can test their profane and parasitic emotional life, which is not worth more than a camel servant holds for good!
They will have to bow their heads ...
It will come soon; even if it takes a few more years, it will come!
Another little bit and I will have made it.
The hours have passed as in a beautiful dream, in which people can fly.
I sank back into the East, found myself back in my dungeon, saw myself, lying at the feet of ‘Gizeh’, before the ruins of Luxor, for Ra, Ré and Isis.
I listened to the word of the Goddess.
Saw myself standing at the Nile, speaking to all those beautiful children there, walking through narrow lanes, riding on a camel in the desert.
Yes, my God, where had I not been?!
I still felt the kiss of the Goddess trembling on my lips, still felt the beating of my human, but living heart, everything which was given to me there was so movingly beautiful and sacred.
And that must now go from me, or I will not be there!
It must be a part of my inner life, the day-conscious belongs to them, makes me recognisable.
A few more minutes and I will be there!
I am not yet ready, but it must happen!
I keep going back to the East.
I must be free and go towards my friends openly.
I am busy and will also achieve that.
Now another few seconds and I will be home again.
What will they look like?
Who will be there to greet me?
I know for sure that they will not leave me alone.
They will come to collect me, they long for me, in the way I look forward to enclosing them in my arms.
I can already see that crowd, we are steaming into the station!
Erica charges at me.
‘Good day, my child?
How are you?
How are things?
Have I stayed away too long?
Then just give me a beating, my dear.’
I experience her motherly kisses, she almost devours me and I think it is wonderful.
‘Good day, Anna?
I am back!
‘God bless you, Frederik.’
‘Thank you, my star!
Good day, Karel?
Just do not feel embarrassed, it is I myself.’
Karel kisses me.
He is still boyishly shy.
He is still stuck in that old misery.
However, I pull him completely out of it by means of a few words.
‘Good day, Hans.’
‘Frederik ... but Frederik.’
The big child has changed.
The professor is there and he is not there.
The eyes are in the right place, they radiate another light, which refreshes me.
All of them are different, as a result of thinking in one direction, going higher, awakening has entered these hearts.
Erica already asks:
‘How was the Sultan, Frederik?’
‘Very good, Erica, I will tell you all about it soon.
You will get to know him.
But I am happy that I am here.’
We sit in those old chairs, smoke a cigar.
There are cake, cream cakes, tea and other sweet things on the table.
Hans and Karel have taken a day off.
‘How are things here, guys?
Tell, how have you been in all that time, these years of loneliness?’
Karel begins and takes me to little René.
‘You actually know everything, Frederik.
We wrote to you, at least if you received the letters.
René is now very well.
We have known sorrowful times, we thought that a change would never come, but he kept coming out of it and you see him differently again.
In February it started to get better, for weeks on end everything went well, he learns better, but then those dreadful breakdowns came back and we had lost him completely.
I tell you, that it has already been okay again now for a few months.
We must still wait and see.
However, he screams for you, he wants to go home.
Dr Lent, the new doctor, also said this morning: it is going well again, even better than a few months ago.
There is more consciousness.
However, you may not take him home, otherwise there will be a new breakdown.’
‘Do you know, Frederik, that Volt has hung himself?’
‘Oh, no, Hans, I did not yet know that!
Did the morphine addict end it all?
I must make a confession to you.
When that man was here, I called you bastards and all kinds of things.
I ask for your forgiveness, now, now that I hear that that man has ended it all.
Can you forgive me?’
They do not say a word, but I answer:
‘But you will certainly not find it pleasant later.’
‘It does not matter, Frederik, you were within your rights, just pitch in.’
‘Thank you, Hans, I am very grateful to you.
So Volt made a bolt for it?
Because of his own destruction, Hans?’
‘Something like that.’
‘So you have lost him, your master has succumbed.
Are there also other worries, Hans?’
‘No, everything is fine.
We treat by means of imposed hypnosis, Frederik, and have results.’
‘Great, Hans, thank you.
Has the institution been expanded?’
‘That as well, Frederik.’
‘Have some of the old friends been discharged?’
‘We have lost the linguist.
We have taken his wisdom away from him.
It is an amazing diagnosis, Frederik.
We will talk about it later.
It cost an enormous amount of blood, but we were able to achieve it.’
‘That really does me good, Hans.
And old Piet?’
And the women are also fine.
Sonja is busy advertising for you.
It is like she has been reborn and stocks up on all kinds of things for my patients.
She wants them to live.
She is a great help to me.’
And I see that I have just as little to complain about you yourself.’
‘You know, Frederik, the blow was spot-on, you could not have given all of us, me and Karel then, any better injection.
That worked infallibly!
I am grateful to you.
From that moment on I started another life.’
‘Well done ... Hans.
That is a victory.
So you see, it was necessary.
I had to leave, because we had reached the limit of development.
We would have stood opposite each other like dogs and cats, even if I had not taken part.
There was only one choice: to serve His Majesty or succumb.
I thought: go away and as soon as possible or nothing more will remain of all that sanctity.’
‘And then you took to your heels, didn’t you, for three long years, young scoundrel ...
Because you experienced a rejuvenating treatment there, didn’t you?
Who provided you with that medicine, Frederik?
It is incredible, what did you do for it?
It is remarkable!
Don’t you think so, Karel?’
‘How old would you say Frederik is, Hans ...’ Karel asks.
‘He looks forty-four.
And you are, Frederik?’
‘No one knows how old he is, Hans, but I will find out.’
‘And you would like to get that from somewhere, wouldn’t you, Karel?
But you will not find it.
When I go into my coffin I will tell you and then you will be given a separate piece of writing, which will be more use to you.’
‘Did you follow a treatment, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Erica, I enjoyed the cold washes of the Sphinx!’
‘Where were you, go on, tell us, I will also go there.
I want rid of my wrinkles and I see that it is possible!
How can it be ... it is amazing.’
Anna walks away, she has her activities.
Erica calls her back and says that we will eat out.
Anna does not want that and she understands exactly what I would want.
‘Where have I been, Erica?
I have seen much of the world.
You know, I went to Paris ...
But no, that is true, you could not know that.
My aim was: Paris and then further.
I stayed there for three days, transferred to London, in order to travel on to Alexandria as soon as possible.
However, I was stopped in London.
For example, Lord Scor, Hans!
The man did not want to let me leave.
His collection has grown into a wonderful museum.
He has beautiful groups of statues, all naked.
You will find the European nobility in his possession.
Egyptian women as well.
What the Sultan possesses in real life was depicted for him and cast in bronze.
He says: my eastern mentality does not deny itself, but it has had to make way for this western civilisation, of which I see the nude before me.
Scor did not want to let me go.
Later, I found that very good, because I now had time to prepare myself.
I met a great deal of old friends.
I found London beautiful again as before, even sweeter, and you can count yourself lucky that I possessed the strength to leave.
Scor has his own hobby.
However, which a woman does not want to give herself for.
It cost him a cool sum of money, but his nobility is not choosy and the times have changed.
The people I saw there!
Hundreds have received a place in his bronze album.
By means of this he has created a harem, which is unique in Europe and which he is rightly proud of.
He has discovered himself through this, he says, he also knows his mask!
However, for the time being he does not want to discard it!
He thinks he can give this humanity something in this way and represent the personality by this.
It is a very different matter whether he manages this; he is happy with it!
And after a few months I went further.
I had to tear myself from his lordship, that soul was so attached to me.’
‘And then, Frederik?
To the Sultan?’
‘Was the harem still there, Frederik?’
‘That was also there, Erica.
More beautiful than ever.’
They have to roar with laughter.
Karel and Hans as well, they must have heard it later.
‘Yes, friends, what a performance that was.
How did we actually get that Volt out on the street?
I can still see his torn jacket ...
That Erica, you were like a wild cat.
Did the man not hurt himself?
He had a head like a pig, bulging eyes, become hazy through the morphine.
And you also went out, Hans.
Warm-hearted is something else, but you started about it yourself.
In the East, sitting under those beautiful trees, this moment kept dominating things again and again and I experienced that row again.
During the most wonderful experiences that terrible Volt stood before me and I saw you, Hans, also Karel, and I was sorry that I had abused you like that.
First my story about the harem, a few hours later a fairground booth full of violence, a boxing match, as I will never experience again.
It was priceless!
Oh yes, it was about little René!
Then booha came and put an early end to everything, but Hans and Volt were lying in the street.’
‘We have heard nothing more from that booha, Frederik.’
‘So, Karel, but that can still come.
Do not shout too quickly from your church that there is nothing the matter, you can never know.
Although I knew there that that booha was out of the picture I always followed that little person.
One evening that chap approaches me and wants to have an argument.
Do you have to laugh again, Hans?
When I tell you something which lives above your capacity, you shrug your shoulders or people see such an inner smile, about which they know what you want and believe."
‘Tell me about the harem, Frederik, just let that nonsense go.’
‘If I have to tell you all about that, Erica, I would not leave my chair for three months.
However, the ladies are still there.
There are even new ones.
He wanted to give them their freedom, but they did not even want to leave.
Those children are so well off there by their father.
Do you know what the women say?’
‘Well, tell us.’
‘They only experience this once, they receive enough lives where they have to accept misery, this is something special.
This is supernatural.
You keep hearing this word again and again and they enjoy washes by means of this and make fun, which we sobersides do not yet have any understanding of.
They are well-off!
They have been elevated into the eastern nobility and experience their world as result of this, which is indeed not so simple, after all.
The only thing they lack is: more love!
They want to experience a great deal of love.
And they particularly want to exchange ideas with men, people who have seen something of this world, who have travelled, who think about religion, who feel for art and understand it, who take part in science, know about sport and medicine, can analyse philosophic systems, feel for horses and understand the soul of such an animal; they are open to everything and want to see all the ins and outs of it.
They devote themselves to this if the Sultan approves!
Had you expected this, Erica?’
‘No, it is a slap in my face.
I only thought of everyday fun and physical emptiness.
But then you probably knelt down at the feet of all those beauties.
‘I was allowed to receive that happiness, Erica, I could write ten books about it.
They asked me to tell the world how they think and feel.
By means of this they want to achieve that people know them and can appreciate their lives.
I will tell you in advance, I did not meet this everywhere, you also find awe-inspiring misery.
My honoured friend is different, must be that, because I would not want anything to do with him otherwise.’
‘Extremely interesting, Frederik.
I can imagine that you forgot all of us at that moment.’
‘That is what you think, I told them about your life.’
You talked about me with those women?’
‘Precisely, Erica, I told them how we lived and what kind of people we are.
They found it a revelation.’
‘Do you believe that, Karel?’
Karel does not say anything.
‘Yes ... I know that!’
‘Listen to that.
Of course, he knows that as well.
It is true, Hans, you are still it!
With that difference, for you it is a palace, you love beautiful things, but is that not a harem as well?’
‘How long were you there, Frederik?’
‘Approximately a year and a half!’
‘What did you say?
A year and a half with all those ladies?’
‘I was not bored, my child.
They were amazing hours.
The Sultan gave me the key to his safe, if you wish to know.’
‘His living safe, Frederik?’
‘Yes, I went in and out, Erica.’
‘And you have become so rejuvenated as a result of that, haven’t you?’
‘That also contributed to it.
It was a wonderful time.’
‘And will that also come in the logbook, Frederik?
What is the actual situation with our trip?’
‘We are now at home, Erica, we are making wisdom out of it.
We are correcting everything and are becoming prepared in this way for the next moment, which we will already experience now.
The material, which I received, remains vague ...
The rest comes first, I therefore do not believe that other books will come about.’
‘May we read it already, Frederik?’
‘Will it be a thick book?’
‘There are three of them, therefore a trilogy.’
‘Am I still stoking, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Karel, that goes on, you have not made it yet.’
‘What is the title of the work, Frederik?’
‘Well, let’s see, Hans.
The main title is ‘Masks and Men’, the subtitle ‘The mental ill person’!’
‘Well done, that will be horrible for me, won’t it, Frederik?’
‘Let me tell you, Hans, that is in your own hands.
You do not look that bad in it.
That Volt hung himself must also be included.
The main characters have already learned their roles and add something to it as well.’
‘It is a wonderful title, Frederik.’
‘I also think so, Karel.’
‘Is everything in it from the past few years?’
‘Also that about little René?’
‘Everything, Karel, he is the main character of this drama.’
‘It is amazing.’
‘I will read out the last page of the second part to you, but you will not get any more.
I do not begrudge it you in the least, but you must not ask me anything else, I have nothing to say about it either.
Just give me that bag, Erica, that one there, yes, you are almost sitting on it.’
I read out the last page to them; I miss out that bit about Anna and myself.
Erica races over to me and kisses me.
I receive tears of satisfaction as flowers from their hearts, with which I can be satisfied.
Erica now says:
‘I will ask you something from all of us, Frederik.
You will never leave us again, will you?
Never again, if we do our best?
No, you won’t, will you, Frederik?
You will not do that to us again, will you, even if you must overlook a lot.
You will never leave us again!’
‘I promise you, I will not leave again.’
‘Is everything in it about Hans, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Karel, and also about yourself.
How curious you are.’
‘Also the misery about little René?’
‘I already told you, after all, Karel.’
‘All those dreadful times!’
‘Yes, Karel, everything.
Also about myself!’
‘And my intimate conversations, Frederik?’
‘Nothing has been lost.
I was able to make my notes every day, as a result of which the whole could be kept track of.’
‘That will be wonderful, Frederik, can we not help you?’
‘No, Erica, pretend there is nothing wrong, just continue.
Meanwhile we will prepare ourselves for the next act, which will connect us with the other scene and the time which will come, therefore the future!’
‘So all of us have been completely analysed, Frederik?’
‘Not yet, Erica, that is still to come.
You cannot run ahead of things.
I can tell you that you are exactly like a small statue of Scor, but you look a bit more human, you live more!
You will get to know laws of justice and injustice and only later see your mask.
But we will also stand naked then, but will be born again.
Also Karel, Hans, you, Erica, little René, I myself and also Anna!’
‘Then I already know what my small statue is like, Frederik.’
‘And that will be better than you expected, Karel.
I repeat, it is in your own hands, you can make of it what you like.
You cannot avoid it, this scalpel is razor-sharp, it goes straight through your soul, your spirit and your human heart.
A pardon is completely out of the question.’
‘And your acting silly, Frederik?’
‘There is not a word of it left out, Hans.’
‘That will make the whole book, Frederik!’
‘Do you think so?
I do not believe it.
But it speaks for itself!
You will see, Hans, how those Indonesian dance teachers change their swarming.’
‘Where does this drama begin, Frederik?’
"At the moment, Hans, that Erica would become a mother."
‘Did y ou also remember that?’
‘Not a word of it is missing.’
‘Are you serious, Frederik?’
‘I swear it to you.’
‘And has my stoking already started there, Frederik?’
‘There, Karel, you took your shovel in your hands, but you were not aware of it.’
‘Where are we now?’
‘I already told you that we have just come home and are starting the next work.
We will convert it into wisdom.’
‘I already congratulate you now, Frederik.’
‘That is possible, Karel, but a bit too early.
Nevertheless I am happy.’
‘Was that the work for you during these years, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Hans, the wagtails also received their place, you know, the Tenhoves.’
‘What are they called?
Hans bursts out laughing, the others take part.
Hans also asks:
‘Then I know it already, but how do you react to the evening with Hansi?’
‘It was not very pretty; all your learned friends have let their apples lie.
I picked them up to take care of them.
In all honesty, Hans, I almost got pneumonia because of them.
However, Providence helped me through it, then I could carry on again.’
‘Tell me something more about the ladies, Fredrik.
But tell me, will all these questions also end up in the logbook, Frederik?’
‘Everything, every question from you will receive its own place.
Watch your words from now on, darlings, it is up to yourselves how humanity sees you and must accept you later.’
‘That is downright spying, Frederik.’
‘If you cannot take it, Erica, you will later be called Sientje, just like my horse.
It is just up to you.’
‘No, Frederik, never that, just kill me.
And the things from on the way?’
‘I make pillows out of them in order to sleep on them, you know, from those desert things, which you need so much.
That is the kapok, Erica, for the books, you make beautiful things out of them in order to rest.’
‘Do you now see that you are a born writer?
Didn’t I always tell you, Frederik?’
‘I could not do it without you, it is you yourself!’
‘Have all those psychic phenomena been recorded, Frederik, have they already been analysed?’
‘I have them, Hans, the analysis will come later.
We will start that now, I will wait and see, we will build on a university.
In the first part we are faced with the masks, the second tears them off, the third part explains them!
And then you will no longer doubt anything, because everything will be proven.
However, then we will experience Divine systems and you will walk around arm in arm with Socrates and Plato and many others, you will be faced with yourself as a universal self!
Now your ‘working’ has become a law, Karel and your ‘nature’ speaks to you like a Goddess.
You only now know how you loved and which love you had to give.’
‘Do you come so far, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Hans, as things look, we have already started.
Did I not tell you that Ra, Ré and Isis were opened to me?’
‘May I offer you my help again, Frederik?’
‘Yes, please, Hans, I am grateful to you for it.’
‘I hope to be worthy of it, Frederik.’
But where is Anna?’
They rush off to fetch Anna.
It is Hans who peels the potatoes for her, Karel helps him.
Is that not wonderful?, I think.
My God, what did I do to deserve this?
Just look at those two academics, how the God of all life will enjoy this.
I am almost suffocating from happiness.
Erica kisses Karel and Hans, and I add my bit and will give them a present.
‘Just give me that little case, Erica.
Look, this bracelet is for you.
This ring and this brooch are part of it.
All together for a cool amount of several thousands, but if you are sultan, a million is neither here nor there, you will have enough for yourself anyway.
I received them for you, Erica, it is a gift from the Sultan.’
‘Everything for you, my child, everything.
And he also wanted to know all about you.’
‘How is it possible!’
‘You may soon pay him a visit, he expects all of us.
I told him everything about you.
One evening he said:
‘These precious things are for Erica.
I paid a fortune for them, but she will appreciate them.
Tell her that I want to see her and she may admire my harem, as my friend, otherwise she would not come out of there again.
If Karel does not mind?’
‘Look, Karel, the ring fits exactly.
Put the pendant on for me.
Is it not a wonder?
Good heavens, what did I do to deserve this.
What are these stones called, Frederik?’
‘The stone in the pendant is an onyx, the stone in the ring is an opal and the other one is a topaz, all real and the most expensive there is.’
Erica dances with happiness and approaches me.
‘But Frederik, how must I thank you?
What an angel you are for me.’
‘I have nothing to do with it, the Sultan gave you them.’
‘It does not matter to me, I received them because of you.
What else did he say about me?’
‘I must first serve Anna, Erica.
I have it here already.
Just open this little box.’
Anna fiddles with the thing and cannot get it open.
We will help her.
Erica has already guessed what is inside, it is a pendant.
I open the little box.
‘Good gracious, isn’t that something? Isn’t that beautiful, Anna?’
Anna looks at her pendant with a pearl cross.
A blood-red ruby, an amazing stone on the cross, as sweet and beautiful as a rose.
Erica already asks:
‘Is that the Lotus, Frederik?’
‘You know a great deal about ancient mysticism, Erica.
Where did you learn that?
Did you start eastern teachings in the past few years?
I had it made in Egypt, actually under the nose of the Sphinx, for Anna, because she does not want anything else anyway.’
Now the boys.
‘Look, Hans and Karel.
Two golden cigarette cases together with a golden fountain pen, all for ten cents.
A gift for you from the Sultan.
Because you are such libertines and like to drive people into ditches.
Do you see those stones there?
This green one is for Hans, he sees his forefathers again in life by means of it.
That one with the red stone is for Karel.
So that you will never fib again!’
The guys press my hand.
I know it!
They are as happy as children, Karel cannot cope with it.
I let the boy fetch a large case, which I open.
We have even more gifts.
‘Look, Erica, four beautiful harem garments for you, a separate gift for you from the Sultan.
They are in red, blue, green and gold satin, a silk which you see little of in Europe, it is a royal gift.
Had you expected this?
No, you didn’t, not this, because that was not possible either.
It must surprise you completely.
And I had to watch out for that precisely, he says.
I must look you in the eye, that is all he wants to know about it.’
‘But what a good Sultan!
What did I do to deserve that, Karel?
Can you understand it?
Is this not a wonder?
Look, good heavens, is that all for me?
But dear father!
But dear father!
Oh, Frederik, can I ever make that up to you?
Can I ever realise that?’
‘Just be quiet, it is perfectly okay.
But they are beautiful.
Just go upstairs and put one on.’
‘Come here, Anna.
Here is something for you.
These are eastern pyjamas.
Here is another pair, and some simple dresses.
Just get changed, that will work out well for dinner.’
Anna is gone.
Now the boys as well.
‘Look, Hans, a little snake for you.
You like cobras, don’t you?
Was that not a beautiful animal?
A pity that people must kill an animal like that.
Also from the harem of the Sultan, everything, everything.
And this is for Karel.
Do you like an animal like that, Karel?’
‘Amazing, Frederik, I have always longed for a skin like that.
It is a beautiful piece.’
There is Erica already.
We cannot get enough of her.
Karel has never seen her like this before.
He clicks his tongue.
He cannot believe it and says:
‘I did not think, Erica, that you were so beautiful.
What a picture, what is it like for me?
Do you have to weep about that?’
‘I now miss little René such a lot, Karel.’
‘Just wait, Erica, I have not forgotten our child.
However, just let your tears fall, let them flow if you can, it is now worthwhile.’
Karel cannot stop looking at his wife, to whom he has already been married for eighteen years.
She is a new person.
A new life has started, he almost devours her.
They are like two young people in love; Hans also gets goose pimples from it and behaves in a childishly naïve way.
I think everything is terrifically good.
The things you can achieve with a few things.
They also devour me, I have got a red face from all the kisses.
Just look at Erica, she is a princess!
‘Here, Erica, I have also forgotten something.
The sandals which belong with it ... which the books are full of, you must try them on.
They were made for you.
They look Turkish, but they were worn in the Temples of Ra, Ré and Isis.
What a colour that is!’
Erica has already gone, we will see her in another garment.
Karel says: ‘Well, do it ... let us enjoy.’
Within five minutes she is back again.
‘Goodness gracious’, Hans and Karel sigh at the same time, ‘what a Princess she is.
What a beauty, so suddenly like that.
How can it be?’
We admire her.
Now little René, Erica, just wait, soon you can show us the other garments.
‘But you see it, Erica, for every garments sandals which are part of the outfit!
Look, this is for little René, when the boy is a bit older.
There will never be moths in it!
The moth dies because of it!
And this here, when he comes home soon.
And this as well!
And that there, if we wish to sit together like royalty.
All for our child.’
Erica can no longer cope with it, she almost succumbs from happiness.
She thinks it is terrific.
The people are defeated, I was allowed to open them to each other and they do not put it under the furniture which is there.
I also get my share of it.
Everything is royal, but I knew it!
Is this life worth being experienced?
Yes, they call!
Anna kisses the garments of little René.
She caresses them, presses them to her heart.
The women go upstairs, get changed.
Karel and Hans have no words for it.
They think it is a great scandal, their head have gone red from exertion.
‘What makes you think that, Frederik, to spoil us all in such a scandalous way.’
‘Do you call this spoiling, Karel?
It is still too little.
But look there.
Erica in blue, green, red and gold ...
This is the golden garment of a temple priestess, such as our Sultan sees that.
It is really beautiful.
Just look at a woman like that, Hans, then you will know all the things to be seen there.
It is a dream!
A Lotus for Karel!
I cannot bear thinking about it!
‘You take a person’s heart out of its ribs, Frederik.’
‘And it doesn’t hurt, does it?’
‘No, but it eats through.
I believe that you will get a new blood flow.
Look at that Erica!
How can it be?
And look at those sandals?
I will not forget it, Frederik, you know how to do it.
We are little mites!’
Erica has worn her garments, she is like a queen.
Karel does not know what he must think of it, as long as it does not go to her head.
The green satin garment is given preference for dinner.
‘No’, she says, ‘the blue one.
What do you think, Karel?
The red one?’
Yes, there you have it.
Erica, what do you want?
Do you see now that you are really not ready for all these beautiful things after all?
If I was not there, I think they would have had an argument about it, but must that be?
We must now decide what she will wear.
The blue one has been given preference.
Erica has gone, Anna too, but Anna knows what she is doing.
She first puts down all those treasures.
They must rest, she thinks, and get used to this environment.
When Anna comes back and asks:
‘Frederik, does silk live?’ I know immediately that I felt that well.
‘Yes’, I say, ‘Anna, silk lives and has its own personality.
Especially this one!’
‘Oh’, she says, ‘I already thought that!’
I also go upstairs to get changed.
Little René’s room is full of flowers.
My room has also changed into a paradise.
On my pillow lie, arranged in a childishly naïve way, violets, forget-me-nots and lilies-of-the-valley, a red and a white rose in the middle.
I quickly close the door.
She is a wonderful soul.
How she has progressed!
I also feel broken by all this love.
Where do we actually live?
You will not believe it!
Everything is divine!
The cases are soon sorted.
Then it is time for dinner.
I have my evening wear on.
Karel and Hans as well.
Erica is amazing, but Anna is not to be outdone by her.
Karel and Hans bring in dishes, everyone does something, and when the business is sorted we can begin.
There is champagne, also good wines.
Karel, you will get a feather in your cap, this is good!
We eat, drink and talk, it is a holiday never to be forgotten!
One person is still not here, says Erica.
That is a pity!
I say, we will do it again later.
And then no one else will be missing.
‘Did you really get this from our Sultan, Frederik?’
‘Everything, dear, apart from a few small things.
The rest comes straight from his hands.
And do not think that they are cast-off clothes, these were made specially for you!’
‘I can see that.’
‘I do not know that, Karel.
I did not dare to ask him.’
‘But we will visit him, won’t we, Karel?
Hans will also come.’
‘We will go, as soon as possible, and Frederik will show us the way.’
‘Agreed, Karel, we will go to the East!’
‘Why did he give us all these things, Frederik?’
‘I already told you, everything about you, about all of us, interested him.
In particular he had a great interest in little René!’
‘Because he compares the phenomena to the eastern magic, Erica.
‘Terribly interesting, Frederik.
And was he able to make his comparisons?’
‘Hans, those people know about everything, he will not fall for anything.
He compared them to the phenomena of the yogis, fakirs, magicians and the very first contacts which great initiates were able to experience.
I must write to him how little René is now.
Although he completely opened the life for it to me, the soul has fallen asleep in my hand as it were, he still wants to know whether his seeing and feeling is right!
I already know it, he is frighteningly pure!’
‘And that was food and drink for you, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Hans, we could not stop talking about it.
They are books!’
‘I believe it now.
Now you found understanding, didn’t you?’
‘Everything, Karel, everything!
You cannot imagine such sacredness.
A profusion of Lotuses around us and then such conversations?
Oh, my goodness, I cannot bear thinking about it.’
‘Were there women there, Frederik?’
‘Seven of the very best, Erica.
An honour for me!
And a virtue as well, because they opened themselves to it.
Just see that scene for you.
Just go into these souls, see him in his very beautiful garment, the women like a magic circle around us, by means of which we felt protected, and then a conversation about life and death, about the Pyramid of Gizeh, the Sphinx, the Sun, the Moon and the Stars, the origin of these worlds and this humanity, about conscious and unconscious grades of life in and about the universe, madness, magic feats and magic cures, devils and heavens, and about human love?
You almost succumb!
But I tell you, the most sacred and the most beautiful which I was able to receive in this rotten world.
He had made a paradise of it!
With women in a great variety of garments.
Then I was allowed to choose!’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Why would I lie, Erica.
But for later, you see, if I was to come back one day.’
‘Do you have understanding of all these things, Frederik?’
‘A bit, yes ... I could talk to him and I could easily have disappeared.’
‘And you do not say a word to us about it?
Here you behave, as if you are a child?’
‘Do you want to hear about it?
Where must I start.
You will let it rebound again anyway.
Is Karel open to it?
There is one – but he is mad – with whom I have talked about all these things, even if we were still a long way off them and just looked at them.
Little René, yes, he knows a lot about this, I too, even if I say so myself.
The women thought I was sweet, and also charming, as they said, which I am really proud of.
The Sultan was also satisfied.
We talked about everything.
But can you see this little scene?
You make a journey through the universe and we slid after each other along Saturn.’
‘Across that ring?’
‘Along and across that ring, Erica, with a speed, with which the skirts were ironed and crumpled, pleats, such as you do not know here.
However, it happened just like that.’
‘I understand it.
Not everyone gets such a rejuvenation treatment.
Isn’t that something, Karel?
He must go there in a few years’ time.
Is that okay, Frederik?’
‘No, that is not okay!’
‘Because Karel does not open himself to these things.
And then people do not like you there.
This man is a born Egyptian.
If you do not taste the sweetness of the temple fruits, you can leave.
It is the main dish of his dinner, with an old sauce, which was thought up by the Temples and for which he lives.
I just mean, empty talk, sober thinking and feeling, this life does not open the doors to that.
And precisely the western emotional life gets an opportunity here to open itself and to enrich itself.
There are eastern academics enough, but they do not even get to see his women!
A westerner does get to see them, you see, and that is a mercy.
If you know something about all these things, then you get to see everything and he opens his heart to you, you see it from all these gifts.’
‘And you were there in that wealth for a year and a half?’
‘You could have stayed of course?’
‘Very gladly even.
You understand, I would not have needed to do anything more.’
‘How old is that man, Frederik?’
‘What did you think?
After all, you saw the photographs before?’
‘Do you still have that thing?’
‘Of course, Hans.
I will show you it, then your faith will be stronger.’
Hans looks. Erica and Karel likewise.
Anna does not mind at all.
‘I think, forty-four.’
‘You also, Anna, have a look and take part?’
Anna also looks, just for a moment, then she says:
All of them ask: and, Frederik?
‘Anna said it ... this man is so old.
But he looks thirty-seven. You always lose, in every area.
This life has an organism like that of a snake, it knows all the holds for self-defence, is an expert on yoga and an accomplished priest.
We had wonderful evenings.
I will never forget one of them, or more even.
He asked me, Hans, to put one of the women to sleep.’
‘I was successful, Hans.
I also received effective pieces of proof for numerous systems, a treasure together.
I also put him to sleep, it was one which was part of his study, if he had not wanted it I would not have managed it.
Yet I had power over him.
The women were asleep immediately.
We cured one of them of nightmares, which the child had suffered from for years.
Her suicide tendencies disappeared also, which he was extremely grateful to me for.
And exactly that woman could come and go, leave if she wanted, but she did not.’
‘They have probably remorse, Frederik?’
Why, I ask you, must those children feel remorse?
Did you think, that they see their life as sinful?
Most of them say: with every other man we would feel contaminated, not now!
Do we not bear our children?
Do we not give this world any progress?
What does the world want from us?
You see, we rise in revolt because of it and it cannot be explained away, but those women there have their own thoughts about it.
I tell you, Hans, by means of the imposed sleep, we were faced with pasts.
I hope to prove my foundations and systems by means of this!
You cannot escape it.
However, when those facts speak for themselves, then you are faced with numerous laws, for which you cannot find any words now from our conscious.
I learned a great deal about it.
I believe that I can say, that I am prepared!
Come what may, if only little René is at home first.
I also know that we still have a few years’ time, but it will come.’
‘What does he expect from your treatment, Frederik?’
‘Do you mean for the benefit of the child?’
‘Well, Erica, you will perhaps not believe it, but he expects wonders from it.
I had to tell him all about it.
When I had put forward the phenomena for him somewhat in order, he could immediately say what this inner life feels and must accept.
‘The West is blessed with such a life!’
"Do you hear that, Karel?"
‘This is the way it is, but you do not yet know that, but that will come.
I did not know it either.
He sees René as a spiritual child prodigy.
He gave me advice and I will follow that, if you give me permission for that.
Or I will go back!’
‘You can now do what you want, Frederik.’
Then that is the greatest gift which you could give me and you will not be sorry.
I hope that all of us may experience that it goes as is expected, only then will our life have value.’
‘Was that Dutch girl still there?’
‘Indeed, Erica, but she will soon leave.’
‘No, not home, but to another, where she will be very well-off.’
‘Who now wants a licked off sandwich like that, Frederik?’
‘You would think that, Hans, but it is not like that.
You cannot buy her for ten thousand.
Or did you think that there was not a story attached to that either?’
‘Will you tell us, Frederik?’
‘Not I ...
I have nothing to do with that, because I would have to mention very famous families, which would just bewilder you.
I will tell you one thing: Our Lord is still there!
Even Rome has to do with it; if you stand in the Sistine Chapel, you will get an answer to it, but then this Dutch girl will stand naked before you.
This also seems fantastic, a name and you will know everything, but I will not name her!
If only you had her, Hans, she belongs in your environment.
And Hansi was a hag in comparison.
Such children are born for it.
It is a divine revelation when you see her.
She is expensive to sell.
However, I believe that she will end up as a gift.
Our Sultan is so good for a human being.
But anyone who gets her – complete with pedigree and pedigree number and the Egyptian Lotus on top of it – will immediately be faced with Toet Anch Amen ... you know that gent!’
‘You are very vague, Frederik.’
‘I have to be ... otherwise I will get cold shivers.
I am in the West, but the East follows you wherever you go.’
‘How did that child end up there, Frederik?’
‘Did I not tell you recently that he got her out of a gutter?
Then you thought from a streetgutter – I believe that I said it myself.
However, there are also gutters through which divine charity flows.
Briefly then – and you must be satisfied with it – it concerned a bet and he won it.
He made a queen out of this life!’
‘And now she is going to a court?’
‘Not quite that, Karel, but it does look a bit like one.’
‘And those others, Frederik?
Did they have a wonderful talk with you?
How could you understand Arabic, Egyptian and all those other languages?’
‘There was one, Erica, who spoke twenty-seven languages.
Also fluent Dutch.
A woman of forty-four years old.
An oriental, who had to learn those languages for the family.
There is also one who travels through the countries now with learning the languages as her only task.
When she knows about thirteen of them, she returns home and she gets her work there.’
‘Is that how it works?
So this is how you could talk?’
‘And how, I was good at it as well.’
‘Will that also go in the logbook, Frederik?’
‘You will find it here and there, Erica.
For that matter, everything remains one whole, that means, if it is necessary we will also get to experience a sample or tail of it.’
‘And what do you think of René now, Frederik?
Will he come home soon?’
‘Karel, we will now talk about it.
What do I think of it?
We will leave him there for the time being.
The more the soul longs, the better that is for the endurance and the day-conscious.
This longing supports the personality.
Longing is inner working and the personality masters that working.
I tell you: now and again we will get him home for a while, but then he must leave again, until we see, now it is possible, now you can just begin the building up of this life.’
‘And you expect something of it, you expect something which we cannot see?’
‘What I expect, Karel, you can also see.
Understand properly, the life itself shows us the way.
We cannot add or take away anything.
René must reveal himself of his own accord.
When it is at that stage, you will see other phenomena.
It is a pity that you tore up all those drawings, Karel, there were beautiful foundations amongst them.
However, I hope that you no longer wish to make a doctor out of your child.
Because you cannot do that anyway.
Has he still been drawing?’
‘Yes, it is a passion for him.’
‘You see, you cannot do anything about it.
Understand properly, Karel, what I want to do is for his health.
I do not intend to make him more ill.
I am concerned with his life and health.
But he will never become a doctor.’
‘It does not matter to me either, as long as he is healthy.’
‘René will become healthy!
He will be so healthy that you will not believe it, and permanently!’
‘It is as if you have not been away, Frederik.
Where else were you?’
‘I have been in the mountains with the priests.
In Tibet with the monks.
I experienced their consecrations; I came where you can barely penetrate.
I had letters of recommendation with me.
However, Egypt beat the lot.
I grant everyone that who loves mysticism and whose soul is open to it.
Furthermore, my life has not changed.
I did not get a remorse of conscious from this, the main points succumbed under the scalpel.
I was able to work on different possibilities.
Wonderful truths fell into my lap as a mercy.
The outstanding care of many people created a paradise for me on earth.
And what more do you want?
Not a hair on my head thought about this.
Yet, I received everything that I had thought about for myself.
In ancient Egypt there is not a stone left standing of that ancient glory, yet every footstep tells you how life was there.
And you must be able to accept that.
I did not go here to see stones, I opened myself inwardly to this and received an answer.
I did not have the courage now to climb up the Pyramid, Hans, I lay there waiting, day and night, in a place where you do not expect the pride of this world.
I bowed down!
I got undressed, I stood there completely naked!’
‘Were you also in the desert, Frederik?’
‘That as well, Erica.
However, now it did not storm, it was a blissful trip.
I received a lot of material because of it, but our guide was not there.
I met him later in Alexandria and lived quietly on his large eastern estate, which is massive and courtly just like that of the Sultan in a way which makes you tremble and shake.
Those people have received much in this life.
Whether everything is happiness?
Mohammed is already enviable for himself, you taste his inner possession like a stimulating wine, you receive a zest for live, spirit of sacrifice, understanding, you think that you can move mountains, it is inspiration for everything in your life!
And now, children, I am tired, we will continue tomorrow.
Is it permitted for me to leave?’
‘Go, Frederik, we are also exhausted!’
Erica’s last words are a sign for everyone and a moment later I am lying in my bed in the familiar room and I soon fall into a steady sleep.
However, my wings relax.
My soul is not yet free of the East , I can go where I want.
God gave me everything, I am not afraid for the times which will come!
However, to possess a house and friends is wonderful, it is great!
May it always remain so.
I am home!
I will never go away alone again, never!
People need me here!
There were a great deal of flowers!
I am prepared for everything!