When I talk, Frederik, is that my soul or my spirit then?
We are sitting under the Pyramid and looking at the Sphinx.
A moment ago we made a wonderful journey through the deserts, which we are now having a rest from and discussing the matter.
René feels at home here.
I did not expect this from the boy.
Every moment I am faced with a problem with him, his inner life changes so much.
It is incredible, but I am experiencing this wonder.
This awakening, I say to myself, is inborn, this life possesses it.
The soul came with this feeling to earth, anything else is not possible.
You do not need to do anything here, this happens of its own accord!
Now I think of the years of the past and finally get an answer to all my questions and searching, when I already experienced things in me, but did not get any answer to them.
René lives in his own world of thoughts, for which I must prepare myself, if I wish to give him a sufficient explanation.
I start to see him as a child with material talent.
Now I am faced with Mozart, with other children, but this of him is very different.
What child prodigies achieved, transform into art, he does by words, by his thinking.
For him it becomes worldly wisdom!
What a child prodigy expressed by means of the piano, passes his lips, in such a way that you must say: this child possesses gifts!
This child must study!
This child must go to a university!
But when we had done that, I now understand, we had botched up this life.
I already said before that René is a spiritual child prodigy!
Now I can see it clearly before me.
And then you are faced with a problem again, or with a wonder, however you wish to call it.
It is there.
A moment ago he asked me:
‘If I talk, Frederik, is it then my soul or is it my spirit?’
I said: ‘We do not yet know that.’
‘Why not, Frederik?’
‘Because science is not yet so far.’
‘But what do you think of it yourself?’
‘I do not yet know that, however, I hope to find out.’
‘A pity’, he adds, ‘I would like to know.
But nothing can be done about it.
I thought to myself: if I talk, if I think, who is it then.
What is soul and what is spirit?
If you do something, who does it?
Where does it come from?
Are we far away from Athens?
A pity that Socrates is no longer alive, he knew it!
Now I do not know whether my soul is talking.
But I think that you do it by formation from inside out, a process which you as a personality are to blame for.
It is I, we say, but we do not know who this self is!
Do you understand me, Frederik?
Do you know what I mean?
‘I know just as much about it as you do, but we will probably get a satisfactory answer sooner or later.’
‘We will hope that, Frederik.’
He then falls back into reflection and I do not know him anymore.
However, I thought that his words took the place which Mozart had filled by sounds.
What Mozart did on the piano, he does by speaking, with words.
It gives wisdom!
If the master is involved here who can waken this life?
If order comes to this, consciousness!
Then it is spiritual art!
And then what?
Yes, then what?
If this is polished, planed in such a way that his deeper feeling and thinking can manifest itself?
I have let myself be fooled twenty years ago that a monk, a high priest, had said on his deathbed:
‘I am going now, but I will come back and then I will finish my task.
You will see me again as a child and absorb me again in the Temple.
You will soon recognise me, I will receive that mercy.’
The priests accepted the word and they wait and see.
Eight years later people came to the Temple, parents who tell that their child claims that he is Toechyi-Ho and has nothing to do with them.
The priests recognised their master and immediately receive the child in their midst.
Then that life awakened of its own accord.
They had nothing to add and to take away from that, the life would manifest itself.
They soon received wisdom!
People said to me:
‘You come from the West.
You know Mozart, don’t you?
You see, what Mozart experienced through art, we get to see through our master as wisdom.
Maybe it pleases God to also bless the West.
This is really everything!’
Now I have walked through many Temples in China in order to seek wisdom, but I did not find it anywhere, even if I found Confucius and other great people!
I learned to think as a result of it.
One possibility touched me deeply, namely that people could come back on earth in order to continue their life and work.
However, I did not want to be cheated.
High art, deep truth, of course, I got to know that there.
However, if you return to the sober West, your own country and people absorb you, you think completely normally again, that mysticism escapes you.
Your Dutch cap is thrown by a northwester from your head and then you just think eastern!
Then just continue searching.
You cannot do it and dissolve of your own accord in that sober mass, of which you are a part.
I forgot everything, other people have already lost it before they leave that country.
For me it brooded on for a bit, but then it had to make way for a beer, good food and such things, for empty talk, nonsense!
I went out looking for it myself, but I did not find what I wanted to experience, all those amazing matters were as silent as a grave, I did not find the desired little light and went to pieces up against a wall of common sense.
I soon gave up, even if I continued to long to know more.
I was not so happy.
And now that we are sitting here thinking, René keeps coming out with problems and sees and feels the things clearly humanly, I involuntarily wonder: is he not like that Toechyi-Ho, that priest?
Can the soul not reveal itself by its own powers?
What used to be wonders, children who were called to art early, is that not laid aside for the soul as a human being, in this other century, which we will experience and which the world needs?
How many thousands of questions did I ask at that time?
Did I get an answer?
But did I make mistakes?
I do not think so.
I mean, did I show myself to be a daydreamer?
Was I straying during all those years, so that my friends could rightly say: that is going too far?
This is a daydreamer as we have never seen before?
I was able to convince Karel and Hans, who have remained natural creatures anyway, that I possess human qualities, which you do not throw overboard just like that and which have received meaning for the normal thinking and feeling, as we are used to that from each other and which our society needs.
I now work it out for myself and reach the decision that I have not put a supernatural coat on things, I remained with both feet on the ground floor, otherwise Hans could have locked me up.
We have fought our battle for this.
Things happened which gave us the necessary worries and troubles, let us be honest, we did not get it for free.
We fought for it.
The cause of all of this is sitting there and thinking.
That cause is in Egypt and I hope that he will awaken for the good.
I already tell him now that I will buy a baby grand which he will have pleasure from.
Then our Mozart – a nice name for René – can make music, which this world does not yet know.
I can already see those notes, all those bars and stripes.
It can become a divine symphony!
I see that he is awakening!
Not an hour passes here, or he is different.
Paris overwhelmed him for a while, after a few days he already wanted to leave.
The Mona Lisa touched him deeply, that, he says, is the most beautiful thing that I have seen.
The Nightwatch is impressive, we know that.
Rembrandt is amazing, but can you feel this silence, Frederik?
Can you feel what this portrait wishes to tell you?
Look at that smile!
He sat looking at that wonder for hours.
I could not get him away from it and continued to wait patiently.
The Mona Lisa had got hold of him from at least three to six o’clock.
I wondered: am I doing the right thing; how many stories have we not heard about that?
Men who perished because of this smile?
Men who sat down in a dream as he does now and let themselves perish as it were because of the picture!
Just before six o’clock he says:
‘You see, Frederik, I am so grateful to you.
I have let you wait a long time, haven’t I, but now I have worked it out.’
‘How do you mean, René?’ I asked.
‘I saw Leonardo Da Vinci!
He spoke to me.
You will probably find this an exaggeration, Frederik, but if you consider that I am capable of talking to life, as you know, is it so strange then if I now ask whether you can give me some of your feeling for the sake of art?
I know, Frederik, you get nothing for free.
However, when I saw her smile a moment ago, saw those lips open, I heard:
‘If you wish, if you stick it out, if you wish to bow, then it is possible!
You are alive!’
And is that so strange, Frederik?
Do you think this is unpleasant?
May I not do that?
Must I be ashamed, because I sit here for hours and forget my time?
If you had wakened me, you would have spoilt my trip.
I tell you, Frederik, I will make sure that I do not bore you.
I will make sure I am a pleasant travelling companion in all respects.
Will we go back here tomorrow?
I only want to see art, the rest does not mean anything to me.
Will you do it?’
‘I will do it.’
‘Fine, Frederik, then I will let go of myself for a moment.
I was able to see her as she was.
I saw her, felt her being and her life.
It is wonderful.
How great they were, weren’t they?
How deep those people were.
How sweet they were and true and how they suffered.
Just look at those Van Goghs.
See the other masters.
My God, the gifts we have received.
Isn’t it beautiful, Frederik?
How happy I am that we went.’
Then he suddenly falls back into a silence, in which you can follow him without understanding him.
He is sitting or standing then ... sleeping, and is awake.
Awake and conscious and yet so far away.
The eyes grow hazy sometimes and they are sometimes brilliantly lit-up again.
You then see him becoming pale before your eyes, he looks like a dead person then.
However, a great deal is happening in this life, which I can then look at and not understand any of it anyway, because it takes place inside.
What I saw and experienced there, was awakening.
In London, exactly the same.
He walked away with Van Dyck, Titiaan and other Italians, with Rubens ...
He was swept off his feet by them.
He could eat and drink because of that art.
If you did not force him to eat, he would forget.
I had to confront him with the fact.
‘If you want me to follow you in everything, sit down in front of paintings, for hours, and I must prove that I can accept you, my patience is put to the test, you must do me the pleasure of not neglecting your food and drink, otherwise I will be in trouble when we come home.’
And what does he reply?
‘You are right, Frederik, I am neglecting myself.
I will think about it.’
At this moment he is not a boy of twenty-one years old, but an old man.
I have not met this character before.
He is in harmony with everything and listens to reason.
He accepts you and feels immediately whether you are right and whether he can obey.
You see, I thought, that makes this travelling so pleasant, he is no trouble at all.
He is already way ahead of Karel and Erica.
I know that going out with friends, there is always something else.
You must watch out for thousands of things.
Thousands of things upset those people, they lose their good humour and their common sense for many reasons.
It is not good anywhere, everywhere there is something else which destroys you, breaks you.
The conclusion is arguments, depression, unpleasantness, what can be seen no longer has any value, nothing is any good yet.
And then you are on a trip.
You are out having a lovely time with your friends.
I always went alone, I was always afraid of friends and acquaintances, who destroy your trip.
This human being of twenty-one years old is like a born guide to go on a trip with.
He is no trouble to you, on the contrary, you are given treasures from this life; it is a pleasure to walk through streets with him, looking at everything.
He asks nothing, he looks and experiences the things.
Rain, wind, storm, we had them over us and they were delights for him.
We come home soaking wet ...
It does not matter ... that will dry again.
He is satisfied with everything.
Happiness lies on this face, people like him and seek him out.
He can speak English, French and German adequately ... can manage well and lets me know too.
He is not afraid that they will laugh at him.
Free and open in everything!
We have already been invited by ten families, especially in England ... but I do not let him see Scor.
He makes sketches of many of them and usually on the mark too.
His talent is busy manifesting itself.
He reads by whom the Pyramid was built and why.
Everything receives a foundation and meaning.
Now he asks:
‘Mother gave me a name, Frederik.
I am called René.
When I asked her with what feelings she had given me this name, she did not know.
She gave me a name, which I am stuck with all my life, without choosing it with care.
You do not do such a thing!
There is no René in our family.
What did Mother want?
Remarkable, don’t you think?
Did they also give you a name just like that?
Those Egyptians were not like that.
What received life and form here, as you call that, received a name according to the inner life.
Do you know what René means?’
‘Not I, but what does it matter?’
‘I would give people a name such as they are in reality.
If you can hate, you must have the corresponding name.
If you meet Mr Hater, you will immediately know who he is.
However, then all of this world would be called Hater.
I have to laugh about it, it is nonsense.
However, I like all of this, Frederik.
How wonderful our trip is, isn’t it?
Will we do that again before we leave here?
Luxor, all those ancient Temples, Frederik, what gems they are.
I will make some sketches.
At home I will work all those things out.
You will get Luxor from me.
I will give Elsje a fallen pharaoh.
Do you not know yet, Frederik, whether the human being has lived on earth more than once?
People say here, as you also heard, that we certainly have hundreds of thousands of lives behind us.
Is that not amazing?
You achieve what you cannot do at once in your next existence.
You continue your life as it were and you are alternately man and woman.
What do I say?
Man and woman ... man and woman ...?
It is a sound, a thought, which is wrenched from my lips just like that.
Man and woman ... how wonderful that sounds, doesn’t it?
Do you also like music so much?
I wanted Mother to start thinking seriously to learn to play properly and decently.
Would you not want that as well, Frederik?
Mother has talent.
When I was not yet born, Frederik, where was I then?
Then, Frederik, I lived there, behind this.’
He looks to the left, right and also upwards.
He talks, I believe, without knowing it.
When he rhymes everything together like that his eyes sink deep into their sockets and his face changes.
Now he is a beautiful boy, he is a picture.
‘And what is this behind, this left, this upwards, René?’
‘Do you remember, Frederik, when we were together in that other world and we were afraid, I was then, of ... boeha?’
‘Well, that boeha did not live there, he was somewhere else.
I myself was that!
That was my unconscious self.
I was still looking for myself then.
When we were able to meet each other there, that was the world of the soul and the spirit.
Because we both did not yet understand any of it, that world was also for us as we thought we were.
Did you not see that one tree, Frederik?’
‘I saw that.’
‘You see, that is the Pyramid!
That same tree is like the Pyramid!
These stones are leaves of that tree, I believe that I am now standing in your blossom.
I am starting to see myself as a child and I can see myself here at the same time, which now becomes one life!
Is it not enough to drive you mad?’
He jumps and walks around the Pyramid.
When he comes back to me, he looks me in the eye and sets off walking in the direction of the Sphinx again.
I let him go.
I see from here that he is thinking, he rubs his forehead.
Yes, my boy, the flower tears open its own life, it flowers on its own, why would people like us not possess the powers and possibilities for this?
Just shake your conscious awake, little René!
I will help you soon.
A flower does not experience anything different.
When spring comes the bud will burst open, and that hurts, you can hear nature groaning.
However, the life awakens!
I already used to think: can such a thing not take place with people?
Could the human being, could my René not be able to experience that, what Mozart and the many other people received and experienced?
Just rub yourself, soon it will come and we will see your inner colours.
‘Did you expect any differently, Frederik?’ I suddenly hear next to me.
‘Mohammed ... did you know that we were here?’
‘Did you not call me every hour of your life, Frederik?
Do you not know, my brother, that our lives are one?
I can see René.
Look, Frederik, is the Sphinx opening itself for his soul?
I may tell you, my friend, that we can be satisfied.
Look at him there, I will soon call him.
What was it like in Paris, in London?
Did he keep you long because of the Mona Lisa?
I saw you there in my sleep.
I tell you, that the dawn will come with a new wonder.
Can you see the light, Frederik?
Have you already seen those flowers?
As beautiful, as sweet, as pure, also as eloquent as the Lotus.
Just look, the life is listening to me, the soul too, and now the life will speak to us.
We wanted you to come.
Thank you, my brother, thank you very much, you are blessed for many, just like us, because we will walk the constellation, inhabit the hells and heavens, now already, now that we still stay on this earth!
He is already coming.’
I introduced René to Mohammed.
Western mentality penetrates the East and sees the most amazing conscious of a human being in it.
René looks in those desert eyes and loses himself completely.
He looks into them as he looked into the Mona Lisa and has lived and absorbed the wonder in himself.
It takes a long time, too long for me; apparently not too long for these souls.
However, what I feel is amazing.
They descend into each other.
Mohammed, I felt, opened himself to his life and elevated his soul into himself.
That is also art!
I know that he has followed a temple study of thirty years for that purpose and successfully.
However, the other still has to begin, or he has that from himself.
René walked to the life of Mohammed, it was he who said: ‘Enter’!
René beams, but Mohammed no less.
René is there and he is not there.
He is standing there dreaming, or is asleep, but his eyes are open.
I feel peace!
The silence so familiar to me!
Mohammed receives his being, his life!
They have been standing in front of each other for a quarter of an hour, it takes a century for me.
How can it be, I had already succumbed.
Not they, these souls experience a deep world, still closed to me.
But that will also come, I am convinced of it.
Then Mohammed puts out his hand and takes him with him.
They disappear before my eyes, they go upwards and downwards, over the desert backs.
This image is wonderful, I would not have missed it for the world.
And these words reach me:
‘I will now awaken him for your life, make him more conscious, so that his soul and life will be able to receive the laws.
Can you feel it, Frederik?
But prepare yourself, we will leave as soon as possible.’
Do I receive that just like that?
None of it, I imagine it!
But I am starting to feel that these thoughts were given to me.
When Mohammed soon says: we are leaving, Frederik, I know that he has spoken to my life.
That is nothing special, a dog can do that or a cat too, people say here, so why would people like us not be able to do that?
You Westerners do not pay attention to anything, people in the East say, you think that you can think, but that is not true.
You are thoughtless!
What you call thinking is for us here ... experiencing!
You do not experience anything, you are no longer yourselves as a result of thousands of things and split by them!
You will not believe it, but we could prove it to you!
Your thoughts are not experienced, you only accomplish a thought like that for fifteen percent at the most, according to your will, your feeling, your life, your personality, your soul, your life and your spirit!
Do you not believe it?
We could prove it to you!
We could explain it to you?
You are not awake, being awake is a very different matter.
René can also do that.
He already gets annoyed when Erica rambles from one subject to the other.
He can get annoyed when he talks to you, wants to tell you something, and you deny him the word to say something yourself.
He then closes himself off to you and you do not get another word.
When I wanted to test that on the way, I got a hiding from him, because he suddenly says:
‘If I did not know, Frederik, that you are testing me, you would not get to hear another word from me today.
You now behave just as Mother always does.
If I want to say something, you must be able to listen to me.
When I am finished talking, you will get the word from me!
This is why I do not like the girls at school and it is the only thing which I can appreciate in Father.’
You see, Karel, I thought, this will soon be your present when we are home again.
However, René is already like that.
And it is true, we people do not think, we cannot think yet.
People do not think, because you do not see people changing and that would have to happen, but you do not see it.
They only think of what is occupying them and that usually has nothing to do with the life.
In this way a high priest sees it and just try saying that he is wrong.
They beat you because of it, they know what you want and you stand completely naked before them.
You have lost your mask!
I see it like that and René is awakening like that.
This is his born talent, the qualities reach consciousness and now already have the powers to reveal themselves.
He thinks before things pass his lips.
They are material sounds, but they represent wisdom.
And this has value for the human being, so that we now already get invitations thanks to René, because people notice it.
When René is resting, I already discovered at home, he does rest!
For him sleeping is a great art, just like walking.
When Mother walks, he says, and you ask her where she has actually been, she does not know.
She sees nothing, even if she says that she sees everything, but that is not true.
Father does not see anything either.
Father shashes everything to pieces with his walking stick and decapitates the life.
What is the good in that?
I then no longer go walking with him, you become annoyed to death.
They are people who do not live.
If they would think things through for a moment, Frederik, they would not do that.
You do not want to be destroyed yourself, why would you do that to another life?
People, Frederik, who read a book and want to listen to the radio at the same time, create disquiet and are not in harmony with what they actually want to do.
I cannot stand that!
What these people want is not clear to me.
You do one thing and namely at full power! – or you disturb your personality.
People do not think, you see it from everything.
Or did you think, Frederik, that I am too young to speak of all these things?
I try to reach agreement with myself, to be in harmony with this life, with our society.
Is it not the case?
René puts everything in order.
He sees it in nature, he says.
And with a painter’s eye.
‘Van Gogh’, he says, ‘would not have had to lose his life, if he had been able to think.
But that soul thought wrongly.
What he should have thought did not occur to him.’
When I asked where he suddenly got this from, he says:
‘I have read about his life, Frederik.
Van Gogh experienced his art through his soul, and yet, who tells us that he let his soul speak at full power?
I see it differently.
Van Gogh experienced art, but went to pieces as a result of his experiences.
Then he grasped for a revolver and shot himself through the head.
I bet you, Frederik, that he did not know that he would destroy himself, because then you do not do it.
Can you sense what I mean?’
‘Say that again.’
‘What do you mean, Frederik?’ he asks, and I have to accept again that this life is speaking about great problems without actually knowing it himself.
However, a moment later there also comes:
‘You see, Frederik, this is the case now.
Van Gogh also did not know at the moment of his deed what he was doing.
At the moment of his fall, something forced him into that state, but he stood outside of it as an artist and personality and could have looked at himself.
However, because he did not know the laws, he beat himself down.
And that is the world for the ‘soul’ and the universe for our ‘spirit’!
For Vincent it was a personality split.
He could not reason his situation, because he could not think, because then you speak with your own life and the other life also has something to say!
Did you know this, Frederik?
Then Vincent was faced with suicide, but only poorly, I mean, for ten percent at the most, ten percent life content, drive, the rest of his great character did not take part.
Or did you think, Frederik, that murderers always want to lose themselves with all their powers?
Did you think that people like us cannot commit murder at ten percent willpower?
I believe it very definitely, because the things themselves come and tell you.
I am starting to understand what ‘inspiration’ is as a result of this!
I will explain it to you in a few days’ time, it is only then that I will be that far.’
This is little René already.
And after a few days he comes to me and says:
‘Inspiration, Frederik, is the urge to first exhaust yourself empty and then to go higher and higher.
You can achieve that by thinking.
It is completely dissolving in art.
But you must not think that this is already inspiration.
You are always that yourself.
I established with all the other pupils that they do not understand any of all these things.
Nor anything about art. It happens and they do not know it.
When you can lose yourself completely in art, in what you want to interpret, you are a painter.
But that does not mean that you are already inspired, that only comes after yourself, after everything about yourself, first exhaust yourself for a hundred percent, it is only then that inspiration comes.
After all, it had no meaning anyway!
Do you not think that ‘inspiration’ belongs to the exalted feelings?
And you must then receive them!
But what is receiving?
Getting the feeling for a higher order.
Do you not believe in Angels?
I know that they are there!
I saw them!
I spoke to their lives.
And they come back to me!
And they can inspire you!
Then there is inspiration, but before that begins, you must first be able to give all of yourself or the higher order will not see the point of it.
Is this unclear?
After all, it cannot be any different?
Do you wish to teach me something if I am just five percent conscious, do not possess energy?
Do not open myself to what we think we are doing?
I cannot be reached then, Frederik, you can do nothing with me, achieve nothing with me!
And do you wish to fool me that our painters have now already reached the highest in their art?
Look at their things and you walk away from them.
I do not understand that people buy that unconscious, poor art!
Do you wish to hang such a thing on your walls?
I would be ashamed!
I would just rape the art, this soul nobility, Frederik, and is that the intention?
When we were in Italy and I was getting to know my friends, I said to a girl:
‘Why do you actually want to paint and draw?
Would it not be better for you to just tune yourself into motherhood?
Is that not the highest art for your life?’
Then she walked away from me, but there were some who did not think it was so strange.
I got the name then of professor; I found it emptiness.
I also said to a girl once:
‘Why do you want to give me a kiss?
For myself or for my lips?
Because you like it?
Because you find it pleasant?
Do you know what love is?
Are you already ready to understand that you can become a mother as a result of your friendliness?
Imagine that I now went into it and gave you myself, do you not see the consequences then?
Are we prepared for marriage?
Are we not just creating any misery as a result of this!
Is that good for art?
If you wish to experience art, you must not look for it from me; then live it up first and then begin."
Of course, I was laughed at, Frederik, but is it not true then?
Should I have done what she longed from me?
Good gracious, I saw the consequences.
As a result of that I knew that those people do not think.
They throw themselves down, but I do not take part.
Ten of them thought that was wonderful, the rest did not feel me and ridiculed what I said.
I know that four of those children will perish and then they will think of me, of that madman.
Because they heard that I was apathetic as a child.
A pity, isn’t it, but I will get them.
And what do they know about inspiration?
They think that they can receive it by experiencing intimacy, but that is not the case.
You see, Frederik, they also go to pieces!
They listen to music and stand with their palette in their hands, there is no concentration.
And that person wants to become a painter!
They rip their inspiration themselves to shreds and make fun of it, because they do not think.
I tell you, Frederik, that ‘inspiration’ is a supernatural gift!
I lose myself when I am busy and no longer know about my own existence.
I am in an art sleep as it were: I become like one of those lines, I become colour!
And then the colours have something to say.
I elevate myself into those colours.
And yet there is still so much in me that has nothing to do with my art.
And I must also take those qualities to task if I wish to create.
It is only then that a painting lives.
Did the old masters not show that?
Or do we wish to try it differently in our time?
Do we wish to do it in our way?
Then we will never make it!
This ‘expressionistic’ time will pass again.
That is because our society is so messy and people no longer see the seriousness of art!
Is it perhaps not true?
Since Van Gogh wanted to paint the ‘soul’ and he did not know his own soul, he lost himself and he no longer knew what he was doing!
Is it not simple?
When he did not know what ‘soul’ was, he was faced with his fall.
And that fall, Frederik, was spiritually devised, but according to the unconscious traits in this character.
It is therefore clear that Van Gogh was a madman at that moment.
You must have been it yourself, it is only then that you start to understand such types and people.
I understand Van Gogh as myself!
Did I not receive that school of learning?
Do you believe me when I say that I am grateful that I was able to live in all that misery?
What I had to accept during my illness, what I got up to with the neighbour’s chickens, was acting unconsciously for Van Gogh.
I knew exactly what I was doing and yet I could not prevent it.
I was at that moment, I can see myself clearly, a split person, I lived in the life of those chickens and became like the egg, like that embryo of life.
Of course, disharmony, but we are also like that in art and it was precisely as a result of this that Vincent was ruined.
A pity ... a good conversation could have cured him, could have kept this life.
There are such bad thoughts!
Artists must first get to know themselves, ‘penetrate the soul of all life’.
It is only after that that the own self comes to the foreground.
If I wish to paint a flower, then I become like that life, otherwise I do not touch the soul, the conscious of that existence.
And is it not true?
The flower now becomes immaterial, but from the soul I build back to the material conscious.
I therefore go precisely upwards in another direction ... higher and higher, and return to the material in order to portray the life.
This is why my flowers represent a rarefied world around them.
Was this not Thijs Maris (painter 1839 - 1917)?
Did he not want that?
Was he a dreamer?
He wanted to paint the soul, Frederik, and he also managed that for seventy percent expression of will, will power, portrayal of the material.
It is as a result of that that I do not appreciate expressionism.
I would die from it inwardly.
Van Gogh brought it to a downfall!
He did not know how he could reach a division of ‘soul and spirit’ and continued to search.
Because I, Frederik, was able to get to know that world and lived in it, I come so far!
My soul took the personality there.
And when I came into that as a personality, the ‘soul’ pulled me into an immensity in which all life, whatever it is like, received a little castle, as you say and feel it!
But you can open that little castle, Frederik, you can get to know it, because we people stand at the top, just as the Creator wanted it.’
Is it not amazing, I thought, this is our René.
Already wonderful for the News.
I believe that he will soon write, books, wonderful works, this also awakens under its own power.
He also brought this talent with him to this world.
When I asked him where he got all these things from, he replied: ‘I can feel it like that, it comes from within me, it lives under my heart, Frederik.
I learned a great deal because I read about Van Gogh.
As a result of that I was faced with his moaning and I discovered the supernatural in his life as an artist.
However, his art was not yet supernatural.
Do you think this is bragging of me, Frederik?
The old masters were like that, Frederik.
You cannot fool me that Van Gogh was supernatural, because he did not understand inspiration as such.’
Another time he says of his master:
‘My master is completely still, Frederik.
I do not get a satisfactory answer from him, the man does not think.
Because the man does not release his ‘soul’ from the material and does not wish to inspire the material by means of his human thinking and feeling, his eternal attunement to everything which lives, he will not make it.
That life stands still!
When I gave my explanation about Van Gogh – we were asked anyway – he shrugged his shoulders.
He himself stood watching powerlessly.
What do you wish to do then, Frederik?
If you yourself behave helplessly, do you then have the right to shrug your shoulders about what you do not understand?
As a result of this I knew that that man does not think either.
And that is the halt for his life.
I have no more faith in that man.
He does not give me what I am worth and that curbs my development and that of the others.
We do not think that we have already made it, oh, absolutely not, we still have to begin.
However, the foundations on which we must soon build lie topsy-turvy through each other, you break your neck on them!
In this way you do not get any contact with your master and that must happen, if our feelings wish to reach unity.
It is only then that he can give me his art.
Now we collide and there is no question of spiritual unity for art.
But did you not know that, Frederik?
If I am wrong, then you must give me advice immediately, you know so much and I am grateful to you for it.
My master cannot listen, Frederik, and that is his misfortune, the boys and girls walk away from him.
They cannot speak out and that is urgently necessary.
The man does not allow himself any time.
What would a surgeon have to do?
If Father was to treat his patients nonchalantly, I could kill him.
A human being is a Divine wonder and you do not deal with such wonders like that.
That is why I hate soldiers!
Is there any point in breaking your own windows?
Do we lash out in the middle of winter like wild animals and do we break the windows, as I did?
No, we do not do that.
From which you can conclude that people are more economical with the windows than with people, because they crash them just like that to the ground, Frederik, a human being has no value!
Must I do my military service?
Believe me, I will refuse military service, refuse to murder.
Anyway, I have nothing to do with it.
They do not want a madman, but they are the ones who are mad!
All those people do not know what they are doing, Frederik.
As a result of this you can see that they do not think, otherwise they would understand that you may not kill a human being!
What kind of animal-like beings are they?
If you ask them to listen, then they cannot.
Elsje can listen, you and Anna too.
I believe that I can also listen and otherwise I will soon learn.’
You keep on hearing the name Elsje, but what he says is the truth!
The boys and girls think that he gets everything from books.
I know better, his life is awakening!
The master is emptiness for him.
However, his portraits are getting depth.
And a master cannot see that?
Now, he says, you are at a dead point.
And what does a pupil learn now?
The master must take care of the pupil.
And that man possesses too little feeling to give that to his pupils.
He also adds: ‘Impertinence is speaking here!
Must I bow my head to this?
I will leave, Frederik, I want another master, one for whom I feel respect.
I do not like that man anymore, his social and art conscious are immediately opposite each other and fight for a bit of personality.
Is this not poverty?
Does it do you good, such talk?
That man can talk well, but around the actual matter and core.
He does not touch life, soul or spirit!
And we need that precisely, otherwise we will never reach depth.
That man smothers every talent!’
He can talk like that for hours.
It is priceless, and that awakens under its own power.
I gave him a lot, but not this.
If Karel does not go to any trouble he will have already lost his child now.
He says about Erica:
‘Have you heard, Frederik, how Mother plays piano?
Why does she rattle in such a terrible way on that tender and such sensitive instrument!
Must the people outside be able to hear that she can play?
She is just throwing herself away with it.
I see it as emptiness, it is pathetic.
If you play you do it for yourself!
I talked to her about it, but then she feels hurt.
I said: fine, just get on with it!
But what did I do, Frederik?
I closed myself off!
I have lost her in this, proof that we stand still if we do not wish to bow our heads to the truth, and lose every friendship.
You cannot be reached then, your opened life does not want to accept any lies and deception, but Mother does not understand that.
When she replied with the exclamation: ‘Just listen to that!’ I sunk into a depth.
I tore away from her life.
It hurt me terribly, but she did not feel it.
If she could have said: what do you want me to do? then I could have explained to her how it should be done!
Do the masters rattle like that on the keyboard as she does?
I know that Mother is not a master, but she has great talent.
In this way you smother this talent!
She is attached to the sound, to the keys, not to inspiration.
Her hands hit the instrument, not her spirit or soul, not with her feeling, no, materially she carries out to what she should devote her personality!
Am I perhaps wrong?
Can you stand her playing?
Do you not tremble and shake from her harsh and meaningless temperament?
Must I say that I like it when my ‘soul’ screams as a result of this rape?
Mozart turns in his grave.
This is no longer happiness, no longer understanding, this is destruction!
What you told me, about when ... yes, that was inspiration, but from me!
As a result of this you can accept that the soul is and will remain a personality!’
I got a fright when I heard that from him.
And does he see it wrong?
Must we agree with Erica with her rattling?
Of course, now and again she plays full of feeling.
But you hear that once very ten years.
When she was carrying René, she could play.
I am now starting to understand for the first time how she reached that height at that time.
It was René!
I opened the logbook and was proved right.
Now he is already saying it, the wonders of this life receive conscious and feeling, it becomes ‘knowledge’!
The masks fall.
What we have had to wait for for so long manifests itself of its own accord!
This life is that far!
This sensitivity, this conscious, lived in Erica and she was one with it.
Erica experienced the life and possessed more conscious, more feeling to play and to make music.
Before René entered her she lacked this emotional life.
This has nothing to do with Franz Liszt, but for spiritualists it is trance!
I do not like that trance, we are it ourselves, first a thousand times ourselves, it is only then that spiritual inspiration comes over us.
However, what we can do ourselves cannot be given to other people, try it, then you will be faced with a gap and you will lose all grip.
These are now the cracks, which I experienced and as a result of which I almost perished.
Is René different?
I believe now that my thinking came to me directly from Erica, so that I saw things soberly.
I did not look through myself through the mask, it was he.
I did not influence him, but he influenced me!
Here, lying under the Pyramid, I received an answer to all my questions.
This world is open to them, you must escape the sober West for this purpose.
People do not think about this, otherwise a human being would not have violated himself and all the other life.
It would also start to see the Divine matters differently, which is not possible now.
It is obvious that the Old Testament can no longer tell us tales of harshness and hate from God.
We no longer believe that.
If the human being must live in love, would God not do that and always have done that?
I do not yet have the foundations for this, but I cannot possibly think differently about this.
René inspired Erica!
That Erica wanted to jump out the window had nothing to do with René, this was her weak character.
That she wanted to drink spirits, also originated from her own longings; René does not drink!
It was her rebellious self.
Her glowing working was the growth and awakening process of the child, which experienced a materialisation as far as her throat.
Erica was not a conscious mother, she was half-conscious for motherhood and as a result of this she lost her normal thinking and feeling, the bearing and experiencing of her child.
Because the soul is a personality, the child could pass onto the mother that it would soon be a boy!
Is it not amazing, now that we see those masks fall and can look behind and into the life?
That boy was like a spark!
That spark reached awakening and already knew in the maternal body to manifest infallibly that the life was a boy!
There is therefore progress after this life!
The soul is itself in this and a human personality!
Hans, we lay stone upon stone, but these stones are true foundations for His University!
This is the way it is!
The power of René pushed Erica out of her balance.
Does a flower not groan when it is faced with budding?
Just try listening in the spring to nature.
Everywhere you hear that groaning, and that is also a birth, a becoming conscious.
Erica recognised that she was not yet ready for motherhood!
Other mothers find this wonderful process very ordinary and natural, but those mothers are ready for it!
The others are either oversensitive or are just not yet that!
And they must master that emotional power for motherhood!
However, in thousands of other things they experience personally and exactly the same ... because you now see, as René feels it and says, the impoverishment of such a character trait before you.
Now the human being stands completely naked before you and you can know him from all his carry-on!
But just try making inward comparisons now?
Then the West is poverty, because we have squandered, raped, smothered the natural laws in ourselves.
Is this so strange?
This is why Anna could say: Erica will not commit suicide; Anna felt intuitively that this life was a split personality.
And the dominant part lived in her and that part did not think of suicide, that life wanted to start its own becoming conscious on earth.
If Erica had been stronger, then she would have known nothing else but great happiness, but she smashed that happiness in her to smithereens and made a chaos of it.
Now it became destruction, the severance of the natural process, everyday misery, unconsciousness!
None of the mothers who wrote to me were ready for it.
They had not yet reached the conscious grade for motherhood.
From that I conclude that motherhood and fatherhood possess an own world and that people like us can experience types, therefore grades.
The child mother, the wife and the man mother are now the worlds for the actual human character.
In their own way, but according to the inner awakening all those mothers experience this pregnancy and show themselves as the process is.
Whether you live badly or good and pure is something else, the soul brings along its own laws; the personality of the child creates already from the moment that the fertilisation and the attracting of a soul took place.
I see it like that now, at that time they were masks to me!
But, oh, if René soon treats these laws?
What will we experience then?
I believe that it will rain sphere sounds ... and it is only then that we will be able to put on our little sandals.
Did I see that death a moment ago?
Now he is becoming a human being!
Now he is universally deep and he knows the laws.
Now he can speak to our life, that was not possible before.
Then we placed him in a grave.
Now we are standing on top of it and are weaving wreathes for our loved ones!
Is that not worthwhile?
It is a universe!
Here come Mohammed and René.
I really believe that he has become years older.
When Mohammed comes to me and says:
‘Come, Frederik, we have no time to lose, we are leaving’, I know for sure that these thoughts were not from me!
And now we see that the human, born telepathy can perform wonders and is a supernatural phenomenon.
And you receive that through your soul, your life, your spirit?
The personality now reacts and is in harmony with the other life and being!
Is it not simple?
What we call life, is working, Karel, but with thoughts, with feeling, conscious thinking.
That is the personality, which probably acquired independence through millions of lives.
What now lives on earth, was not yet that far for millions of years, flashed through my brain, which is becoming more and more spacious and knows how to act quickly when it comes to it.
René looks at me like a reborn person and says:
‘Isn’t it amazing, Frederik?
Your own words, but they say so much more.’
I do not yet know what Mohammed actually got up to with him, but it is reflected in a lively way on René’s face, his eyes twinkle as a result of it and his whole figure has become powerful from it.
I now see him differently, I did not yet know this life like that; awakening has come as a result of a walk.
I understand it very certainly, they were one in ‘feeling, soul and spirit’!
One life served the other, because the other is open to it and has mastered those laws.
I am not yet that far, you must first behave strangely for that!
The suitcases are quickly packed and now it is a case of going to Mohammed’s castle.
We will spend the night there, probably stay a few days, but then we will go to the Sultan to close ourselves off for a while and to start René’s development.
What the boy gets to see is supernatural for him.
Mohammed is rich and can give him everything.
He says to me:
‘I am satisfied, Frederik.
I saw his life, you will experience wonders there.’
When these people touch a law, they immediately fall into the polite form of address.
I always find that very remarkable.
When they talk about another person’s life and possession, that respect comes forward and you get a rich feeling, because it does you good that those Divine treasures get human conscious and represent soul and spirit.
You are now suddenly released from yourself and are faced with the gigantic conscious in which these Orientals live.
René already noticed that and he finds it necessary.
Now you cannot take hold of any walking stick in order to beat the light out of life.
Just get hold of this, Karel, I thought, you will not be able to believe your eyes, but I will soon bring you a master in the home, a new birth, a ‘winged one’!
You know, my dear Hans, how deep the human soul is?
What do you know about it?
It is becoming more difficult for you every day.
But then a human soul like that would not have had any value either.
Now it is universal ...
What you make of its life is darkness!
But just get on with it, René will teach you the laws, and then you will lie at his feet!
René cannot get enough of it.
Egypt has a great charm for him.
He deals with everything in silence.
The mastership in his life lies on the surface of this life and will soon reveal itself, because an infallible hand steers this life.
You do not see haughtiness in him, he follows us like a happy child and is one with Mohammed.
We drive in his beautiful car from village to village, from town to town and we enjoy a trip along the world’s oldest culture.
Black and brown wave at him and he gives that life from his western abundance, which now experiences a new birth.
You see him, I already said, changing every hour.
We possess a precious life as a result of this madman ... who apologises when he thinks: I am not sure, you can help me; a simplicity, the laws of which Mohammed knows.
When we enter the palace of Mohammed – his servants already knew that we were on our way – and René sees and has to accept that people here understand and feel that he is a human being for whom people have respect, he has tears in his eyes.
‘What did I do to deserve this’, he utters, but Mohammed reassures him, by pressing his narrow hand on one of his shoulders.
‘In this wealth, it is easy to rest’, passes the lips of this Dutch child again, in whom language and environment of own race (see rulof.org/there-are-no-races) are disappeared like snow under a rigid sun.
Meanwhile we have sought out our rooms.
René will remain by me, we are separated from each other by a cloth.
Mohammed will let us know when he hopes to see us.
Erica and Karel’s child talks to me as if we left home ten years ago, the old landscape lies so far away from his life, the conscious from there sunk so deeply into that other, this new life, which has now become a strong personality.
When the time approaches when we will be together with Mohammed, René is moved, as if he feels that his life is touched.
Mohammed is busy!
René experiences his spiritual atmosphere and all his powers and laws.
We experience how the soul of this life falls asleep.
We sit around this life, a few high priests, Mohammed and I.
René has lain down on a settee and soon fell asleep.
Anyone who sees him lying there will think that he is in normal sleep.
What did Mohammed do?
It is his influence, which brings a division between soul and material, spirit and personality.
It all happens of its own accord, the life of René is ready for it!
I am curious what I will now get to hear.
His life is somewhat sensed.
Without any fuss this life has been released from the material shackles and the soul can go where it wants to itself, which now happens at the command of a master experienced in the occult laws.
We do not say a word, we wait for a quarter of an hour for a sign that Mohammed wants to see before he begins.
He says to me:
‘You see, Frederik, that this sensitivity can connect us with the universe?
Soon you will receive the proof for it.’
In the room where we are I can now smell a lovely herb smell, we would say: incense, but these herbs have their own character.
I get to hear that they are used in the Temples of Ra, Ré and Isis, and that he knows the concoction for it.
We sit in the silk, between the sculptures and the art of a spiritual sovereign, such as Hans, who possesses a rich environment anyway, has not yet seen.
However, then the lips murmur and the inner life of René is ready to explain the laws of the inner and universal life to us.
When Mohammed asks:
‘Can you hear me?’ he immediately gets an answer.
And now we hear questions being asked and answers being given.
‘Are you conscious of my word?’
‘Yes!’ there comes ...
‘Can you see me?’
Mohammed initially asks questions in English ... but a moment later he transfers to a language which I do not understand, probably temple language.
After a few questions I hear what this means.
‘Frederik, this is Rachi-Hadju in person.
Ancient Egypt is present. I will now go into his world in order to make this life, the past, conscious.
See you soon, we do not wish to be disturbed in any way, do not forget that!’
Now we experience, the others along with me, that two people fall asleep and remain asleep.
This process lasts two and a half hours.
I remain awake, understanding that enormous laws are experienced here.
Their aura reaches me and elevates me into that incomprehensible experience.
Suddenly I hear Mohammed saying to me:
‘Frederik, we are now between life and death.
We see into this universe, and René is free from his material systems.
We will now move.
Soon you will hear me again and you can ask me a few questions.’
A quarter of an hour passes again.
Then we hear:
‘Where do you think that we are?’
‘I do not know.’
‘We have risen above the earth’s surface.
We now see the earth as a circle, as you see the moon.
I am starting to feel the laws as a result of which we experience this wonder, we also now receive the spiritual inspiration, which comes to us here straight from the higher worlds of existence.
Now, Frederik, every law created by God lies open to us.
You would already be able to ask questions there now.
However, what we are concerned with is René’s awakening for this inner conscious.
What he sees here, he will soon possess there and namely for the day-conscious self, so that his life remains insured against every attack in this area.
If you can feel this, then your life will understand that we will open him.
If you wish to have a few pieces of proof, Frederik, then ask your questions.’
I immediately asked:
‘Can you hear me, René?’
Mohammed says: ‘Do not mention his name, Frederik, you will disturb his life with this.
You will awaken the life and that may not happen.’
‘I said it wrong ...’, I send to the life of René, I will repeat my question.
‘Can you hear me now?
Can you hear that I am speaking to your life?’
There comes: ‘What do you wish to know?’
‘Is there a death?’
‘There is therefore eternal life.’
‘Do you know who I am?’
‘I know that!’
‘Do you know where we come from?’
‘I know that!’
‘Will you be able there to know the God of all life?’
‘I know Him!’
‘Do you wish us to stay here?’
‘No, we will go back.’
‘Do you also know your symptoms of madness?’
‘I know all of them!’
‘What must I do for your life?’
‘Nothing, you will wait, I will soon tell you how to act.’
‘Also for going back?’
‘For everything, for your life and my life.’
‘Do you know the personalities whom you now have to do with?’
‘Do you mean Erica, Karel and Anna, Hans, Elsje?’
‘Precisely, so you are also aware of those lives there?’
‘Of course, I am!’
‘Then we could be jubilant?’
‘Thank him for all these mercies!’
‘Can you tell me something about the Old Testament?’
‘Was Christ on Earth?’
‘So His life and suffering are not legends, as some people claim?’
‘No, no, no!’
‘Do you know why the Apostles fell asleep?’
"Were you in Temples in previous lives?"
‘Just like you, Anna and Elsje!
I can now see where ... Marja is!’
‘It is not true, is it?’
‘Do you not believe me?
Write something down, I will read it to you.’
I wrote: ‘Where is she then?’
And his lips gave the answer:
‘You wish to know where she is?
I can see her, but I will keep that to myself.
When it is time, you will get to know my love.
Believe me in everything, however strange it may be to your life, or you will tear yourself from this contact.
I do not tolerate disbelief!
Do you believe me?’
‘Hold onto this for your own life.
Do not allow another conscious to manifest itself between you and me or you will lose me.
Now, my brother, I am ‘soul and spirit’!
I am in all the laws of Him!
This is your university!
You will give your faculty a personality.
We will begin soon!’
‘Then I will wait patiently, I am satisfied.’
We sit for another ten minutes, but then both lives awaken.
Mohammed first, then René follows.
Nothing can be seen about him, but when he looks at me, my life is lit up glowingly, my heart pounds up to my throat with happiness and joy about all these wonderful events, which all of this humanity is searching for.
I fall down before René and would like to kiss his feet.
But then he says:
‘Never do that again, Frederik!
There will be others who will have to do that, but not you, you are opened to me, you stand next to, in and around me like the building in which I live.’
We go to sleep.
The next fortnight is used to open the life in different ways to the material.
Every evening René goes to sleep.
When three weeks have passed, he is so far that he can answer questions during the day, but according to the laws.
Then we go on our way to the high priests, Erica’s harem.
What René receives there is amazing.
We experience services, such as they were experienced in ancient Egypt.
I get the inspiration to put him to sleep as soon as such a thing is necessary.
He and I are being worked upon.
However, René will explain these laws to me later, because that is not possible now.
The masters here accept his mastership.
René is sitting under spiritual nobility, the harem ladies of Erica are now his pupils, his followers, high and low have sacred respect for this master!
René is initiated as a high priest, the highest for his life and that of mine, such as for everyone, who comes into contact with his soul and spirit.
The high priests will then ask him questions and all those questions will have to be answered.
Now he will have to prove whether he exceeds all those great ones, whether he is a new ‘winged one’ or not!
We prepare ourselves for that.
But we do by horse ride, by absorbing all this natural beauty, by speaking to the priests and the priestesses, by being one with the East, and with the West also, because he writes letters to Father, Mother and Anna.
He will then receive the symbol of his worth through the high priest, the Lotus ...!
A fortnight has meanwhile passed.
The wisdom must awaken in him, he must say: go and make the preparations, I am ready.
One morning, when he awakens, he says to me:
‘Frederik, I have made it.
Can you feel my happiness?’
‘I can feel it, little René.’
‘Say that again, Frederik!’
‘Soon, when you are ready, when you know the laws for life and death through and through, I wish to repeat it thousands of times if necessary.’
And then we sit in a circle together.
I count seventy-five heads, of which forty-seven men as priests, the rest priestesses.
René is lying on a kind of cross, wrapped in a beautiful garment, the gift from Mohammed, which possesses more value for him than one guilder forty cents which Erica valued it at, when she sold his first garment as a result of her pathetic conscious.
On Elsje’s wedding day people asked him why he did not put on his garment.
The answer was:
‘When the time comes for it, not before then!’
And this is the hour!
This is the second!
When I saw him and blushed from happiness, he said:
‘Now the time has come, Frederik, to wear such a garment.
Does it suit me?’
He is lying there now.
He is still awake, his day conscious can still hear and see, but soon that conscious will fly into the universe of God in order to answer the questions which are asked there.
I know from Mohammed that people now think that they can go through Buddha, through the very greatest to the new life, in order to establish that this is a cosmic master.
If people wish to accept him here, he must be capable of explaining and analysing the laws for the Divine universe, for human being, animal, flower and plant.
He must also be capable of bringing the universe to the human being; he must be able to give everyone a satisfactory answer and prove by that, that he is a conscious being.
I think: my God, where will it take me?
The state in which he lives is so far that the powers of Sjowhoeá and those of Mohammed reach unity.
Consecrated music sounds.
Delicious herbs are lit.
A soft red luminous haze with transparent blue gives this space a fantastic mask.
It is sacred here.
The women lay kneeled next to the priests.
I in their midst.
When the preparations are done, the very first steps for a good reception have been taken, René’s eyes close.
We sit down on soft cushions and follow the powers which enter us.
I am no longer a material being, I now float and live between heaven and earth, between life and death.
It takes a moment, then I hear a voice ask:
‘Where are you?’
There immediately comes: ‘My soul has gone out, I am one with the laws for life and death.’
‘Do you believe in reincarnation?’
‘I am it!’
"Do you believe in the returning of the soul?"
"It is I!"
‘Can you see through darkness and light?’
‘I can see in it.’
‘Where do you wish to go?’
‘Where you command!’
‘See then whether He is with us!’
‘He is with you!’
‘Do you wish to go back to the beginning of this Creation?’
‘I am in it!’
‘What can you see?’
‘Nothing, I live in a darkness which is not dark!’
Go millions of years further!’
"I can see the hazes awakening!"
‘What can you see then?’
‘A lightened and condensed universe.’
‘Perfect, and what happens then?’
‘The splitting of the Divine personality.’
‘And what emerged from that?’
‘New life, the universe in which we are.’
‘Can you follow that?’
‘Give me a thousand years of material life and I will explain the laws to you.’
‘It is clear, it is impossible to start with it, you give masterly answers, we understand you.
Do you know the laws for soul and spirit?’
‘Yes, for human being, animal and plant, flower and water, for all the life spaces of God.’
‘Could you say of yourself that you are an ‘omniscient’ in our world?’
‘I can say that of myself.’
‘Because you know?’
‘That that inspiration also comes to me!’
‘Can you continue?’
‘Just continue, I will wait.’
‘Do you know whether we can reach your height?’
‘You, most certainly, but after this!’
‘After this life.’
‘You must see it like that.’
‘Can you see the laws of the universe?’
‘I am one with Fatherhood and Motherhood here.’
‘Tell me, were we first plant, then animal and only then human being?’
‘You were first human being, then animal and afterwards plant!’
‘This is new to us, do you know that?’
‘I go further and deeper for your lives.’
‘Is your word law?’
‘Yes, at all times, for every life grade, as space, as light, as life, for Fatherhood and Motherhood, reincarnation, new life, illness, health, madness ... all the laws for it, justice ...
I am an omniscient in that!’
‘We accept you!
Have you anything else to say?’
René now takes them to thousands of laws.
He talks about the condensing times in the universe, about the child being born in the mother, and also says:
‘If you wish to experience these wonders, then follow love!
Why do you not get married?
As a result of this I could declare to you that you are sponging!
Are you shocked?
Why must other mothers give birth and give birth, and you do not give yourself?
Marry, unite, be one in everything!
Give yourself completely and give new material possession to the existence between life and death.
Do you not see, do you not know that thousands of souls are waiting for an organic body?
Have her symptoms not shown you that she destroyed herself?
Do you not know the grades of madness, by means of which we establish that these souls deformed the material tissue?
Anyone who murders must go back to the earth, but anyone who sponges puts himself outside God’s Creation and misses the possibility to continue?
Because God is a Father of love you get a new body.
If you wish to be reincarnated, then ensure this universal return.
Do you sense what I can see?’
I already get my questions answered which I asked before as a result of this.
If René soon goes into it deeper, these masks will fall and the laws will be explained.
Oh, my God, how happy I am.
The high priest goes into it and asks his cosmic questions.
Our boy answers them infallibly, they cannot find any flaw in that argument.
This questioning lasts two hours.
They race from Buddha to Socrates, the holy Ramacrishna is not forgotten either, life and death are touched and sounded out and those masks also fall.
Hell and devil fall.
We get to know God as we have not known Him before!
Then René awakens, under his own power.
When he reaches consciousness, he receives the Lotus!
He presses the symbol full of happiness and love to his heart and kisses it.
His eyes are like balls of light, but then his being returns to the own existence and his whole being changes.
Now it is celebration time.
We are spoilt, priestesses bring in delicacies.
All this tasty food does us good and we leave.
When we are alone, he says:
‘Do you know, Frederik, where I was?’
‘At home ...!
I saw Mother and Father, Anna, Elsje and Hans.
I could tell you a lot about their lives, but that will come later.
I am happy, our life is beginning.
This humanity gets to see and experience our gifts and my conscious as a Divine message!
However, I have not yet worked it out.
The masters must first take me to task now.’
And we sleep well too.
When we awaken in the morning, the first thing we do is have a bath, eat and drink something, horse ride.
The whole day is for ourselves.
A fortnight passes.
Then he feels ready again for the following séances.
Both grand masters now descend into his life.
Now the subconscious is awakened.
What another person needs a thousand years to achieve, they do in a few hours, because he possesses the conscious grade.
This is necessary for him, if he wants to see into that depth soon and explain the laws for it.
We reach unity with that life, a grade of sleep, the laws of which they know.
They are now capable of going to sleep under the ground, but those skills lie far from us, since this smothers the spiritual development.
We already followed this path, Frederik, in ancient Egypt.
It is only known to a few people.
Rachi-Hadju and René, who represent one life, know these laws.
The first is a born priest.
In the Temples of Ra, Ré and Isis this life receives the first instruction.
In this life he moves the Divine beacons to the West!
We are therefore one in everything!
Happiness with him, happiness for all of us; we will observe his laws, change will come here!
We have already been on our way for three months.
We are still with Hammed, he has just experienced the last phases for his development.
He is accepted in everything, he gave the universal word in everything, there is not another answer!
I was beside myself with joy.
However, the day of departure has been decided.
We will travel to Italy, Budapest, Vienna and Berlin.
We must add on weeks to the trip, so that René can recover.
The priests wants us to return to Holland completely sure of ourselves.
I will then have time on the way to make notes for our logbook and to add to what I already wrote down.
I was able to experience wonders.
I must receive explanations from René himself.
I do not know what happened between life and death.
I was not able to follow those laws, do not understand them either, but I hope to learn a lot from them, thanks to René!
In the distance we can see our beloved friends becoming smaller and smaller.
Mohammed takes us to the nearest station, where we take the Orient to go further.
Saying goodbye is difficult, but those people know how to cope with it.
The boy quenches his thirst with all the beautiful things which he sees.
A natural working, Karel, has taken place for your son, what the great ones were able to experience and receive, is now spiritual art!
When we come home, he says, I must not worry, he will tune into that and they will see nothing about him ... at least not this: they will be able to hear it.
In Budapest we experience the art, also in Vienna.
That city has his full attention, the wonderful museum speaks to him.
‘Can you believe’, he says, ‘Frederik, that the people sometimes stand looking at products, which they made in previous lives?
How we are progressing, aren’t we?
Rubens and Van Dyck, the wonderful Italians, my God’, he says, ‘the things this humanity received.
For what purpose do we live?
We, Frederik, bring conscious!
My paintings, you will see that, are a side issue, Frederik, it is the word which counts!’
We enjoy the operas.
He sinks completely into his own world under the spell of song and love.
You feel him enjoying himself inwardly, it is worthwhile sitting next to him and following him in everything.
What a great deal this life has to give.
The next day, when we look in the streets of Vienna at all those beautiful things, he nips into a shop and buys a pearl cross with a chain.
I do not know why, but I will hear that later.
I do not want to ask him everything; I am already beside myself with what he gives me.
Then we leave for Berlin.
We stay there a week.
Our friends adore him, the young life reveals itself, but he does not go into anything.
If you hear for a moment what he has to say, you are faced with a professor in psychology, such as there has never been before, a world wonder!
The peace from his life radiates towards you and many people feel that.
In addition, he is now a beautiful boy!
After a few days he says:
‘Frederik, I am ready, we are going home.
The East has been conquered.
It cost a great deal of strength, but I have made it.’
The letters are already on their way, they know there when we are coming.
He gives a great deal to the poor of Berlin, it actually rolls from his pockets.
They have spoilt him, people consider him a spiritual sovereign, there in the mad East, where the people are so open to spiritual gain, where they devote absolutely everything.
You could be moved by it.
He is like a child and yet an old man, but that will now reveal itself to Karel, Erica, Hans and Anna.
Elsje will get the most beautiful thing of his life.
I do not yet know why, but it will be fine like everything.
I am just bursting with impatience.
He notices it, because we know each other so well.
I walk like his spiritual father next to him.
Our souls are one, but I long for the word.
I have a great deal to ask him.
It is wonderful worldly wisdom!
I think: oh, Satan, now you have an opponent!
The circus-like West will awaken through this life.
You have sucked the people empty for long enough for Christ and led them to the slaughter.
Now they will start to think.
We hear the sign for departure, the Mid Europe heaves homewards with us.
We lie in our sleeping compartment, I think of everything which I was able to experience and receive.
It goes well, the masks fall off and the human being learns to see himself differently and will start to value the other life.
He established the speed from the whistle and reaches unity with rain, wind and speed.
And he can do that, because his life has been awakened!
I am not yet that far!
I close my eyes, because I want to arrive fresh.
This short trip has taken centuries!
However, very probably the last one.
I am still a human being, I do not see things in advance, but can sense a great deal and that develops of its own accord, as he can also accept.
And again I can say ...
Frederik, your small empty letters receive a stamp, just hand them in.
You will certainly not be sent away.
What a happiness I see, is it considerable joy?
I believe it, because I was able to get to know that certainty.
I prepare myself from a distance for the next scene, I believe that I will take lessons.
My prof is lying there sleeping and is awake at the same time, because the soul never sleeps, always, eternally, life, working, natural evolution can be seen, which we take part in!