Frederik, you can now ask me questions
The reception at home was a revelation for René.
Hans and Elsje were also there.
The boy could not stop talking about it but kept quiet about a lot of things.
He told precisely what they could deal with, the rest remained safely hidden in his inside chambers.
In his heart, where so much lives which they have no understanding of, have no feeling for, and that they would probably already ridicule by one unconscious remark.
He prevents that happening and knows what his learned father can deal with; Erica does not get anymore either than her soul can deal with.
He handed out his presents, but no one got to see the pearl cross and I did not breathe a word about it.
When we were finished talking, he says: I am now going to tune into the portrait of Elsje.
Hans, I will make something beautiful of it.
Hans thought it was wonderful, Elsje too of course.
It is a remarkable world!
You start to think as a result of it when you are sitting like that amongst your friends and feel an underground or supernatural unity of people, who let their eyes flicker and as a result of that talk from heart to heart, but which you must accept a moment later, as if a knob was turned and a nickel worked the wonder.
Especially if the person whom it concerns behaves as if hearts mean nothing and you feel that the wealth of another means nothing to you, because you never get a hold of it yourself.
There is no one amongst us who thinks that these souls belong to each other, that means René and Elsje, such is this friendship, the benevolence of which Hans absorbs in himself and for his wonder.
From Erica feelings sometimes come which you can follow directly and could give a material name to, because those longings are so meaningful!
And a moment later again you see and have to accept that it is not the case.
Yet something is brewing in our midst as we are together like this.
You can feel it!
But none of us knows it!
It is there and it is not there!
However, I believe that an intimate conversation is taking place amongst us, that two souls are busy weaving wreathes, go hand in hand, float through the universe, and do not yet know it themselves.
But, woe betide, if this awakens!
Erica now knows that my harem is a temple, where the great people of the earth come to find their support.
The human being who has been weighed and found wanting, souls who are broken, hearts which were broken by material misery, poor and rich, you see everything there together, if you want to take the trouble to make your trip.
What a pity that not everyone can enjoy this!
I know it and Erica also knows it: millions of souls do not have an hour to spare for it, they are materially tuned in and will remain so.
However, the blow hit the mark!
When René told how he was received there by my old friends, I saw Hans and Karel becoming gloomy.
Not Elsje, who started to live and shone like the crown of Buddha, it was an eastern light, of which you see the hazy blue dawn coming up as we were able to see there.
She could start reciting poetry now just like that, but as a result of circumstances she also keeps her mouth shut and the tension is fading away, but the birth for it and of it remains.
It is a seed, which is put in the universal ground by an unknown working and grows, which you can do nothing about, change nothing about!
You are sitting there yourself and think, you feel that powers influence your pathetic life, because thought is free.
In this way worlds are elevated, worlds came into being, because you experienced a heaven or a hell with the very first thought, purgatory is also possible, but I do not believe in that.
Since God is a Father of love, there can be no eternal burning, because all those people go further!
Elsje is a divine rose, which you would like to steal.
Her breath of life gives you expansion, because her eyes possess space.
Listen to her play and listen to Erica, it is night and day.
And to think that this woman can do this by her own means.
I no longer believe now that she is from a farming background, Hans can tell me another one.
And you do not hear the real one either.
We think that is wonderful, but this spiritual talent flies through your veins and brings zest for living to you, a world where there is no death.
When they left a vase of flowers fell.
Erica says: that is good luck.
Anna has a different opinion about it and said: I am left with the mess, why can’t you watch out, you are just behaving as if all those things do not matter.
When all of us went into it, the vase cost forty-five guilders and forty-seven cents, converted to Dutch currency, because Hans had brought it from Germany.
That was during his last time – Hansi is stuck to it.
I thought: look, it is just as if people want to smother, want to wipe out old memories.
I must say, this is thorough.
And who did it?
Elsje threw on her beautiful fur coat, and listen!
I do not know ... but it is a pity!
The dear child blushed from it.
Hans said: you must buy a new one for it.
Karel also thought the same about it.
Erica looked disconcerted ... she did not know anymore.
However, René had been upstairs a long time.
And now I record those things.
I had my hands full with work for the first weeks.
René is studying hard, he has made at least twenty sketches of Elsje.
I wait until I may ask him questions.
I have arranged everything in such a way that I get an extensive overview of what happened before and which we did not understand.
As a result of this the masks must now fall.
Lying under the Pyramid I already got an answer to many things.
However, now his answer, his command, I now assume that his word is law.
Yet he let me wait four months.
It is spring again, I have waited all of the long winter, actually begged for a word, but I did not get it.
Life went on, Karel and Hans have their work, Elsje is often here.
If she sees any chance, you can find her here with Erica and they play all kinds of things for themselves.
The portrait which René made of Elsje, was a wonderful success.
He is now getting orders already, older artists are jealous of what the boy achieves.
And yet, I keep hearing it, his painting is only a side issue.
One morning he tells me: “Soon I start to write, Frederik.
I will write articles under a pseudonym, you will approve of them, I know that in advance."
I thought: just look at that, he knows exactly what he wants.
And then there came:
“Under the name of Rachi-Hadju, Frederik.
Never mention my name, we will have fun with it.
I will get them here.”
I thought: that is going well.
But he let me wait.
When we were outside last week, he promised:
“Now it will come soon, Frederik.
Just have patience.
Will it take too long for you?
I cannot do anything about it either.
You must just ask Rachi in silence.”
I do not do that, it would be a birth too soon and I know all about those little children.
That will be a great misery.
I therefore waited patiently, arranged my affairs for this contact.
What I now get can only take place through stolen half hours.
He must go to his new master, a famous painter.
I mess about a bit, but I do a great deal.
Everything receives an extra edge.
We already know equal powers seen as phenomena.
I wrote this down for the logbook:
What he made of Elsje’s portrait, I now see before me as true laws, which are experienced by the human being and as a result of which Erica received her misery.
What is life aura for René, the aura of the soul, which he laid down around her head as if the supernatural laws had made a wreath of forget-me-nots, daisies, lilies-of-the-valley, with the yellow buttercup in the middle, symbol of simplicity, soberness, sweet sensible views, which you can see just like that along the Dutch fields and meadows, which the cows have their pleasure from and which makes the milk whiter and thicker, creamier and more tasty, is a jumble of phenomena to me in which I cannot lose myself anyway, because I am starting to know his life, but especially because the masks fall and can be explained.
I know that my comparison goes too far, but you can see this Dutch landscape before you, since René remains himself in everything and you can now treat an invisible phenomenon for the first time materially.
Hans said of the portrait that it had nothing to do with paint anymore, it was a soul!
Karel said nothing.
He had his own opinion about it, I believe.
Anna found it a revelation and I no less.
When I thought about this, I was immediately faced with Erica and her phenomena and I could begin.
I check René, I follow him, as I followed Mohammed, and get my thoughts sent.
The first phenomena started with Erica, when René was not yet conscious that he, from wherever he came, lived in the mother.
I now ask the question:
Was he in a world, which is made suitable for that by God?
That cannot be any other way!
Soon I only need to hear his yes or no with the next explanation and I will be finished.
Now I go back to my youth.
I examined myself!
When I laid myself under the microscope, I saw life, that was only inspired by me.
The soul for this life, Mohammed says, comes from its own world and prepares itself for the new birth.
This also passed René’s lips when people asked him all those questions.
He was the soul himself!
But as a personality!
By means of numerous lives the soul has mastered this personality.
By means of fatherhood and motherhood!
The soul as a personality is father and mother.
God makes no distinction in this!
This is ruled out, there is no injustice!
We as men walk next to creation.
We do not experience anything!
We just have to give ourselves and that is serving.
As a result of this we ensure a new body if we have to come back to the earth again one day.
In that respect the theosophists are right!
But I will hear about that.
With Erica there were phenomena which no one understood.
All her doctors were completely off the mark.
They pulled their hair from their heads, nothing helped, they were powerless and could only bow to it.
I can see now that people cannot say that.
They are not yet that far, this is the conscious of this humanity.
Before, thousands of years ago, this conscious was still jungle-like, there were no towns, there was no art, no learning, none of everything which we now already possess and by which we are happy.
I established then that the soul was busy revealing itself.
Since this conscious life had to start again on a life from the spark stage, the past comes to the fore.
And the mother who is one with the soul of the child – which is not a child for the universe, you must only see it as birth, there is no more to be recorded – absorbs those feelings in her.
Now you are faced with millions of grades or kinds of worlds of conscious, because each soul is different.
Every human being is different.
Every human being represents an own world, an own character, which is the personality.
You find good and evil in it; you see the dictionary in the human being.
And that will awaken.
The mad people are also to be found there.
Mothers who give birth to mad people, can experience strange phenomena, but they are then no longer strange.
What is melancholy, weakness?
If the personality is strong enough to experience this, there is nothing.
But Erica was not yet that far.
I now also understand why mothers are clairvoyant.
They get this heightened feeling by means of their children.
Mothers who give birth to mad people and are one with their children for nine months, do not need to experience anything, because the soul itself has nothing to give.
That soul is apathetic or dominant, as I was able to see and record in Hans’ institution.
This now tells me that there are souls which leave the mother in peace and there are some who penetrate the day conscious.
Now the mother can feel something of her new life and they are also phenomena.
You can now establish from the phenomena in which direction they take you.
A soul as a human being, the personality of which in a previous life, because it is that, has shattered everything, nothing has changed in that life.
Now that wild, passionate conscious awakens again, but in the mother, and now deforms the tender organic tissue.
The pressure of this conscious deforms the material.
I turn pages and now see that I am right; anything else cannot explain this.
Now life and death lie open to me!
A death discards the mask when dying?
You can only see a death then, when the child is born, because dying is living!
The soul as a personality comes into a world and will await the new birth there.
People ... the laws which rush at me.
These are thousands of letters from Our Lord!
I will arrange them soon and edit them, but then it will be a book!
Long live Death ...!
Long live Life ...! is written in the logbook, I have got to know both of them.
Now I am faced with a laughing face, which assures me that I am right.
There is no death!
I have already known it for so long, now I can accept it!
What dying is, is alive.
Or you will carry on now, or you will come back here for a while to do something.
To what purpose?
I must not go too far.
I must try to stop that cosmic pressure, because otherwise all those things will bowl me over.
I will then go into a universal ditch and that must not happen.
I must first decide upon the phenomena of Erica and then I will continue.
However, since I now know that there is no death, the soul returns here and becomes a material being again, I am able to make a great deal of things dissolve and we see Erica and René in a different light.
Because that is my intention.
As a result of this I get foundations and I see my university being born.
The embellishment comes through René, he takes care of the colours!
That Erica was there and was not there, could hear her conversations, came, I already said, through René.
That science claims that the soul lives on earth first is therefore absolute nonsense!
Of course the academics now see only life.
And that life calls them to a halt.
But this life is a personality.
That life has certainly been man and woman millions of times.
As a result of this there are no children.
What we see as the child, is the flower bud for Mother Nature.
It is also the flower, if you are standing before it in the winter, but now that same flower is in the tree, is part of the blood of the tree and reaches the new birth of its own accord when spring comes.
What wretches we people are.
You now see, I say to myself, how bad people are thinking here in the sober West.
Also a tree, a flower, a jungle; I said at the beginning of our path – I told it for Hans and myself – soon I will go to nature, then to the animal kingdom and of course the human being, but then we will climb as far as the universe.
Hans thought then: he’s off his rocker!
Now he must tell me once more that I am off my rocker; I will then give him a spiritual-scientific hiding through René and Rachi-Hadju, as he has never had before.
But that will come later, as long as we just begin.
I will then call all the faculties together and it is only then that we will experience universal lectures!
Oh, my goodness, all the things I see.
Just let René wait a while, I myself am not nearly ready.
But can you feel it too?
If you see a bush in the wintertime, just take your own plants, then the flower already lives in the tender little stems.
You do not see the flower, but it is there anyway!
This is now exactly the same for human being, animal and all life, that must give birth and create!
The flower is in the material, that is the space for a flower.
The soul as a human being possesses a universe.
But do you feel, Frederik, how close those worlds actually live next to each other anyway?
The soul as human being comes back into the material world from its space.
Because a flower does not possess that world, that space therefore for the human being, you hold both the inner and the material world for natural birth in your hand, when you pull off a piece of wood from such a trunk .
And for us people that is also exactly the same, because we are also soul and material.
Only now there is an event which was still death for me a few years ago, but that has now become ‘eternal’ life!
Now you know all of nature.
Where you see life, you see soul and material there.
If a new birth comes, then that is the material life for the flower and the plant.
Until that plant dies out, that tree too, no longer gives apples and pears – fruit is also a part of it, that is all a birth, but for a sort independence – then the inner life goes on and has then experienced the material world, and according to me now, conquered it.
That life returns to a higher existence!
When I later present René with my questions, he can then explain the actual law to me with only a few words and I can continue.
I now understand that I am preparing myself for him.
We now do one work, he is awakening and I am busy awakening.
And I get the knowledge for this.
This can be inspiration and the amazing event, being one from feeling to feeling in everything.
Now a human being!
However, I can now already see or feel the universal unity.
When the earth makes spring, creates summer – it does that because it moves – we get to experience that development on earth.
That will therefore be spring and summer, winter and autumn.
If you come to the south, where the source continually creates and gives birth, India, California, Florida, just carry on yourself, the precise southern climates, the natural life there possesses more possibility to give birth and create, it does not die there, there life does not withdraw by means of a winter and it can be seen as eternal joy, life for the soul, which is always open, conscious, like material and like inner life.
There a tree also possesses more vitality, more inspiration, an orange for example gets the chance to serve us a few times a year, which our apple tree has no knowledge of.
I see that as independence, sources and grades for this natural conscious, because the earth is changing place and is starting to remove itself from that heat, but is certainly driven to it by a universal law!
Those are the poles, the climates, the countries, the people, but there is only one law needed to dissolve all of this and that is the law for the own life, it is evolution and it is dying, the end of a life phase!
A death cannot be seen, because I know that.
Did the two of us not see another life?
When little René started to crawl, when he was still in his cradle, we were already in it and he wanted to pick flowers and apples for Father and Mother.
And did he just overtake me?
That is also the world for nature.
Or do you mean to say that nature does not possess a soul?
I now start to see and feel that independence.
We have received the highest conscious as soul, then the animal follows and only then nature with all its types of lives.
Is it not simple?
This will become our university!
If I come back to René and Erica, then I see that René, since he started to awaken as a human being, passed the working onto Erica.
This conscious was dominant.
I want to steer René in precisely that soon, later, if it is possible, so that he will explain, experiencing the laws of that, to us, so that we know what the soul as a human being experiences during those seconds of fertilisation.
Can you sense these tremendous laws?
Are you starting to understand, Frederik, what this means?
Can you feel how far science, the psychologist, the parapsychologist are still away from this?
And just try going further now?
If a human being is an adult and listens to a clergyman?
That man will explain God.
Can you already smell the incense of heaven?
Did you see that dog sniffing in the dustbin.
The animal is looking for a bone.
What an academic like that does is not any different!
Knuckle bones are put in front of us, there was never any meat on them to be able to feast on and to still your hunger.
Everything seems so pathetic to me, when you start to see how God wanted it for us people.
What Erica received from René were feelings, was spiritual heating, were living organs, given to her as an aura.
Like thinking, like feeling ...
And she was deceived by that?
You must see it as a strong wind.
Erica did not possess the means to receive that.
Did I not say before that she sailed under the compass of another, but she did not know where she was going.
Erica sat on a grave and wove flowers for a wreath?
She would very likely have wanted that, but she must still master that certainty.
She is therefore a mother and she is not!
I believe that she must still become a mother four times in a row, before she will be completely ready for this motherhood!
And again I am faced with hundreds of thousands of problems, which are now not masks, but questions which demand an answer.
After all, there are millions of mothers on this earth.
All those mothers give birth to children, but not one of them knows for what purpose they are doing that!
Does that happen of its own accord just like that?
I do not believe it!
That has no different meaning?
I no longer believe it!
All of that is balanced out by a supernatural power?
I believe that, yes!
But God has nothing to do with it and Hans does not need to add any notes when a patient leaves him, that is a hopeless task, it is poverty!
Those souls come to this world for millions of matters.
And that world forces itself upon me and wants me to let me go.
You see, I will soon get to this, immediately; what I experienced in the beginning, when my hand wanted to start writing, came forth from that world.
The powers for this were not people, I do not accept spiritualistic possibilities for this either, I possessed the resistance myself, but it were the laws which revealed themselves to me!
That therefore means that I was busy becoming like such a law.
But do you feel how close all these worlds lie together?
And that a spiritualist must be mistaken a thousand times before – now it comes, which we know nothing about yet – a spirit like that manifests itself and now makes use of such a material hand in order to write down something about itself.
Anyone who possesses that must go through thousands of worlds of oneself, before that grade of consciousness can be spoken of and experienced as a world and as a human being, therefore as an astral personality, which is now a unit which is and will remain supernatural!
I have sacred respect for that, because I know how awe-inspiringly difficult it is if you conquer those thousands of laws, created by God for our soul and spiritual life!
Because it is that!
You do not come into that just like that, Mohammed has had to devote life after life to this.
He claims to have died because of this at least a thousand times, to have lost his conscious at least a thousand times as a result of it and to have been locked up in a madhouse, where he awaited his material end as an unconscious being, to only afterwards start a new life in order to acquire that awakening!
Millions of souls, I said a moment ago, are being born.
And then I looked into a world, so deep and wonderful, that I wondered, how do I get out of this?
And in addition I believe that if I could not have been able to do a study through this child, then I would want to do the most simple thing immediately.
I know for sure that I would also lose my common sense, what I feel and what now forces itself upon my life is so awe-inspiring.
The millions of children who are then born all have their own purpose as a soul.
This is quite simple.
Now the one life comes back – let us just search for it close to society – for good and evil.
That life has done a great deal of evil and returns to the earth to make up.
Then we are faced with fatherhood and motherhood.
Cause and effect now get significance.
You can already mention thousands of causes and effects for which the soul must return.
Stab someone to death, I now believe, and who will dispute this, the soul will have to return to earth some day for this purpose, when does not matter, it will happen.
And now I heard René say yonder, he answered a question which is universally asked: “ ...in order to give the soul a new body!"
We are already faced with an amazing thing here.
The soul as a human being who kills a human being, must give that life a new body.
That is a Divine law!
You do not need to violate a law created by God, you stay away from that.
Or you will just fling the ten commandments into your ditch.
But we cannot get away from them anyway.
We are therefore faced with the words of God and those of Christ: love each other!
Deny such a human being material life.
That human being could still have lived for years according to the own laws as soul and as personality.
That life is not completed, this life has destroyed consciously.
That life, we could say, left this world too soon, and we are faced with problems again, other masks, because who now tells us that this would be the end?
Must we people therefore accept that you must and can see your own transition as a result of a murder?
You see, I cannot believe that and that is not possible either, because we are faced with the words and gospel of Christ.
Love and do not ‘kill’.
It should also have said: “So that you will not be killed”!
And now I believe that if you once assault a human life, you yourself will also be faced with those laws and will have to accept that somewhere in this world you will get a knife or a bullet in your heart, without knowing why.
But then you also hear: “What did that child do”, or “What did my husband do to deserve this?"
Why must I and why must they miss their happiness, their love in that way, so coarse and so brutal and so harsh?
Even if the soul is not found guilty of anything, how many people are not sent away in this way?
But we are not even talking about that yet!
It is a matter of people staying away from life.
If you kill a human being, you will give the soul a different body.
And do we men wish to do that by means of our small castle?
What follows as a result of this?
That the soul must experience both bodies!
We as souls, as human forms of apparition, are man or mother, although both of these are actually one and God is also Father and Mother!
You see, Frederik, this is ‘Divine Justice’!
You must return to the earth for it, you will become a mother for it!
Whether you are bitten by the cat or by the dog, it remains the same, you return to this world in order to become a mother and that is the task imposed upon you.
However, God does not interfere in this.
René will have to justify those cosmic doctrines sooner or later, I can see it coming!
He writes books and they connect us with the ‘University’.
He must decide that for himself.
I tell you that it is another university than we know here on earth.
But did you see this mask fall?
The soul should not murder!
It should experience life and be part of life, it has its Divine task, but it has to keep its hands off another life.
Now just try going across the earth.
You must not go too far now, because you could miss out pieces!
Look around your own environment, there the pieces of wisdom lie in the gutter.
What did you see?
I have already seen that for so long.
I picked Divine gifts from all those gutters and put them in my pocket under my human heart.
Because what do you want to say, when you hear that a young mother puts her twins, beautiful girls in perfect health, in a sack and drowns them like young sick puppies?
What does such a human soul hope to achieve?
You do not believe it?
Come, come, do you not read any papers?
Are you so backward?
How many thousands per year, says Karel, come to us with pierced wombs?
In order to bring a bit more air into there?
For a bit more variation?
To pick flowers, not in the meadow, but in the maternal tissue, precisely there where the embryo lives and a new Divine life must begin?
Did you not hear that recently a WC was blocked, from which people pulled out a little corpse?
That little mother is already doing time.
You see, our society cannot approve of that, but what will the Divine laws say about it?
God has nothing to do with it!
How am I so sure of this?
As a result of René!
People asked him ‘cosmic’ questions.
This was one of them and was answered by him as if it was nothing, according to the natural laws.
The high priest let slip: “How can it be!"
– I have translated it, it came down to that.
He almost landed face down because of it and he did not feel deceived at all, because Blavatsky, Buddha, Rudolf Steiner, Socrates, Plato, the highest priests from ancient Egypt and another thousand of these characters, all of them established with certainty that we people as a soul received everything by means of God and that we have attunement to His life.
That happened when God started His creations.
So what will the laws now say about this?
They are now, I also heard that through René, the laws for birth, for fatherhood and motherhood, for soul, spirit and material!
And we people received them in our own hands.
“Good”, people in the East said to a princess, “just lie down there then, because I want to rape you!
And you do what I want!"
I keep on taking the most wonderful things, you will certainly have noticed that, I keep reaching for those horns, on which the spiritual gold sits, which has value.
What did you think that that princess did?
She let that priest be thrown just like that to the wild animals and within less than a quarter of an hour there was nothing left anymore of him and his little castle than some bloody mass.
Only because he placed her – this insincere child – before the human fact and wanted to prove how amazingly strong such human willpower is.
However, he came to a wrong address, a wrong emotional life, which already felt sullied, and had to accept the end.
But what did you think of this mask?
What will this little soul still have to experience, who now thinks it is holy?
Do you know what holiness is?
I did not used to know that before either, now I know!
It means that you as a human being are in harmony, are one with everything in the universe!
Now you are doing your duty.
I know – those feelings now come towards me – in thoughts you fling at me: “What are you doing yourself!
What did you do?
Are you not sponging either?
Are you not also walking behind life?"
When I tell you that I cannot have children myself, you believe it.
But if I say that I have also done my duty, is it okay then?
Karel and Hans once asked me: what are you actually living off?
I said nothing, because I found my inner life too precious for them.
However, I will probably open my own little book still!
I did everything!
I did not create any worries, I took part in creation!
Murder, people in the East say and René as Rachi-Hadju revealed, forces the soul to return to the earth and to create a new body for that life.
In other words: as a man you must return in order to become a ‘mother’!
Are you laughing?
Are you shrugging your shoulders?
What are you actually laughing about!
Imagine, just for a minute, for yourself, this is the case!
Imagine how you will now think?
Imagine that reversal under your heart!
And just imagine that you as a strong man command a regiment of soldiers and send them to their deaths!
Good, isn’t it?
You still get your medal for that.
But did you think that you could get out of it in this way?
Did you really think, big and yet small man, that you could continue to hide?
Those bushes will disappear from the earth one day!
And then you will stand naked before your dead!
I have already known for so long that you will not face it alone, but that all those stupid, young chaps will be faced with their own misery, because they should not have started it either!
Can you feel what this mask means?
That this mask will fall!
And that this love for the fatherland is not worth a jot for the universe.
Or must we practice injustice, must we take his gold and silver into consideration, because we are faced with such a bigwig?
I once had a big argument with a loving mother.
She is a beautiful soul.
Her boys had to fight in the last war.
Then she said to me:
“Imagine, my son shot down some seventy.
Those krauts were no match for him.
The boy wrote to me: “Mother, but mother, how protected I am.
Your prayers have saved my life.
I dived from four hundred metres downwards, sat with my head in the mud, but immediately next to me is a farmer who gets me out of the ditch.
That man should not have waited a second or I would have been gone.
And now I have taken about ten again for my account.”
I almost dropped dead from shock.
Because what comes:
“Did God not hear me magnificently?”
I became so sick from it that I left immediately and left her behind in astonishment in her own human stench!
In her cursed egoism, that filthy mask!
Because do all those other boys not have mothers and a God?
These are gold bull horns.
I saw these lying in the streetgutters of the cities like all the others.
Wherever you look, you can fill your pockets with them.
I just wish to say, is the goodness of God like this?
No, this is nonsense!
This is destruction!
It is nonsense!
It is shifting unpleasantness onto another life.
It is making a fairground out of God, it is much much worse, so that I almost got a stroke.
Does God have to do with human matters?
Did we get life and death in our hands?
That same happy boy of hers will have to return a thousand times in order to clear up his own mistakes, put right what was distorted by his soul.
Or is this something different than WC’s carry-on, murders?
These are the masks!
And they fall like leaves in the autumn!
They fall because they must fall!
They fall because God also possesses souls, which opened themselves for that in order to take that ‘harsh’ to the universal awakening.
And that is René to us!
Good day, little mother?
What you gave me for full conscious took your own crown from your head.
You are a good mother, a great soul; now I saw a pot of black paint standing next to you which you stained all that beauty with, you gave you a prank!
Have I said anything?
It was he, but when the mask falls, it is you yourself!
Murder, says Mohammed, takes you back to earth!
Murder is a karmic law. You can make wrong things good in life after death.
God has nothing to do with all of this.
People do that to themselves, but as a result of this wrongs are born.
Now the soul deforms the embryo.
Because this life has come into disharmony, it dominates.
The natural harmony has been lost.
Self love means nothing.
Neither does love of people. If the personality as a mother thinks that no other mothers live on earth, that is good
But I already said, do all the boys not have mothers?
It is therefore so cursed to start a war.
And then to also want your own child to be protected, to come back home safe and sound, the other life can drop dead, is a poverty, the mask of which you immediately see before you and which you do not get through with any muscle power!
The soul must decide for itself what it now does, it falls when it kills, it rises if it surrenders itself to mother nature and her laws, which is God in his own person!
And now that life comes back to us.
It was wild when it left.
It has broken away from the Divine anchor, you meet this life like a wreck.
Now just look at all your psychopaths!
Those twisted masks have created smithereens in previous lives, left them behind, and come back, in order to first experience the harmonic themselves, but then the making good of what was once done wrong begins.
All those masks fell; when René only said a word about it, I myself was almost that far, I oversaw this complete whole.
What a pile of misery it is.
Now Erica sailed by means of another compass, which could have shown her new worlds, but her little castle and character were not ready for it.
The conclusion was, René drew her from the day consciousness to himself and she was there and yet she was not!
She was walking in the street and sat inside!
Of course, she was awake and slept!
She walked and did not walk, because she could look into the sun for hours on end as psychopaths can also do and not experience any hindrance from it, they have now discarded the day conscious sight for ten or more percent!
The stronger soul absorbs or sucks up the day conscious in itself.
These mothers are there and are no longer there; other people receive clairvoyance and gifts as a result of it, because now the soul passes on that pure, but spiritual clarity to the mother!
Can you also see this mask fall?
Is it not true that now a death speaks to you and that death walks in sandals?
Did you want to make something else of it?
Now a death laughs at you!
Now he weaves little garlands for your head.
Are these not love potions, if you know that you will see each other again beyond the grave?
Can you not feel now, can you not hear now that heaven and earth are kissing each other?
Can you feel that kiss burning on your lips?
This is eternal love!!
I was awakened by that kiss!
This kiss melts on your lips and for soul and heart the feeling of it strengthens your spiritual personality.
There is no death, if you now lose your love, you look at the universe, whether your loved one has already awakened, because you can now await your love from there!
You walk in sandals yourself!
What does this mean?
That you walk on clogs as an earthly conscious being, are not open to that conscious love.
Your love is so harsh, so cold, so meaningless, because you do not yet know the universal depth of it and your kiss is not lively either!
You pull at a life, but you lack universal contact!
It is not this one life, thousands of lives decide a life.
If this death laughs at you, you see the forget-me-nots, the lilies-of-the-valley and the daisies falling from heaven.
Did you not read that?
What did you think then?
That chap is mad!
But I said, a heaven, not the heaven, it is your own universal attunement from where your husband or your wife, or your little child, which you lost young, lost as a result of the coffin, lost as a result of illness, laughs at you, winks at you, gives love, so beautiful, so sacred, which makes you tremble and shake and your maternal or paternal heart is moved to tears!
I would like some of that mad love.
All of us, I said when we started, thanked God on our bare knees, when we were able to look behind the masks; it is only now that our lives received depth, existence, we got universal love, because Karel no longer destroyed any flowers, he learnt it!
He learned how to act, how to walk, how to look, how amazingly beautiful everything in and of our own life is!
Now you lie on a heath, hand in hand, you look at a blue sky, you absorb flowing sweetness into you.
If you now know that such a human little castle has Divine meaning, how do you now open yourself in order to kiss the lips of it?
Did you think that you are now being taken in?
Did you think that you are now faced with a devil?
Wreathes are woven, because your own and true love brought heaven and earth to unity.
Now you see that you are cosmic as a human being, the mother of your children carries out her task with you and that you have known thousands of fathers and mothers, because this life is temporary!
You are not faced with a castle now of which the doors are closed, it is not cold.
You do not freeze, it is summer and you are expected!
Your consort is there, you wear silk garments, the sandals tell you to what grade of conscious you belong and it is now the deep, but amazing conversation which you feel, you experience.
You go together into the universe and now listen to the heavenly sounds for your state of purity, which has become the omniscience for your life!
Now a mad person can tell you about wonders.
Now a mad person can connect you with heaven and earth and the faculty for it is mad, sick, the mad person now throws precious stones, because he knows that all those things no longer possess any value there!
Or do you see it differently again?
Then just wait, we will continue!
That mask will also fall!
But have we understood each other?
René beat Erica’s day conscious to shreds.
If she had carried the power in her, nothing would have happened or she would really have given birth to a mad or apathetic child.
That we now experience wonders, is through the conscious of René!
Now it can be happiness, it used to be called, I have influenced this child, for which I had to leave the house.
Now we see, there are faults with everything!
Things which possess no legislative value, gossip seen from the human unconscious.
Because the laws speak for themselves!
Erica was no longer herself as a result of that, but a while later, when those powers dominated her, for the good, it was ‘inspiration’.
At least, we wondered.
But it was not that!
This was possessing more feeling.
This was getting feeling for another.
Everyone can do that.
I also let myself be fooled that an actor became a dramatist as a result of sorrow, the lack of some love.
You see, Erica created as a result of it.
I had almost sworn that Franz Liszt was there himself.
But when it changed from the beastliness, we sunk back into the unconscious and it became influence, now however from outside, which I only understood much later and again in ancient Egypt.
Now we had to do with demonic spirits, she was open to them as a result of her own emotional world!
That a psychopath can look into the sun is known.
Now the soul as the personality has left, discarded the day consciousness.
That sun has no more meaning.
However, it is that day conscious which reacts to the strong radiance of the sun.
This is one, and is in harmony with each other.
If the personality leaves the normal, then that harmonious sinks away from those eyes and this darkens the illuminated white for those eyes and white is seen as dark.
I cannot say black, because there is still light present.
Mohammed once said to me:
“I have brought a soul back from that darkness to the day conscious light, only by explaining the laws for the own life to it.
When that woman knew what she was doing, that opposing power dissolved of its own accord and she returned to the normal life.”
Then she must no longer try to look into the sun, tears ran down her cheeks.
But a psychopath can do that.
Since Erica lost her full conscious, Van Stein, Hans, Karel, Van Hoogten, Volt, Tenhove as well ... she lost her normal social conscious in which we live and she was no longer herself either.
But did you not yet know that?
You went to pieces, because you could not accept that the soul already awakens its previous conscious in the mother.
She is forced to it.
Those same tissues of mine and my creating power, that trivial lot, is still capable of forcing the soul to begin a new life.
The material tissues now dominate the soul, the personality, soon it is the personality which influences the material in a dominant way and forces it to accept those laws.
Mask number so many is overthrown!
Erica was there and she was not there.
She felt the driving force of it like burning, it was a fire.
Yes of course, it was inspiring fire, which she thought she could stop, could chase away by a stimulant.
And she managed that too: when she devoted her human own will, that inner burning had nothing more to say, but now little René could go to sleep!
A piece of proof that we people do not use our strong will!
But is there a will?
That princess refused to do bad, to open her little castle for a life of which she was not conscious?
Now own will, love, personality, God, fatherhood and motherhood, karmic laws and even much more, lie at your feet and you can say: I stand on top of myself!
But in myself all that Divinity already lives!
I went through all of that in order to take out the mistakes occurred, but I found it enough for today.
Tomorrow I will continue.
I now read:
“As a flower awakens, it is as the soul for the human being!
The flower possesses a universe, the universe of that bush!
The flower possesses a soul, of course, or it would not possess any life.
What does not possess life in the universe and on earth dissolves!
The tree too!
A blade of grass too!
Whatever you see in nature, from that material life you see the own universe, also the own independence.
A flower is in the ground, it creeps upwards from the ground and that is the universe for this life.
But an animal has more space!
Can walk, can bark, as you see a dog, has its own sound and character.
That world is also correct, but we people possess the universe!
And that becomes infinite!
That is Divine!
I understand it, it is absolutely fine!
When the human soul comes to us – how that attraction happens, we soon hear of our spiritual child prodigy too – the soul is in the mother and a process is accomplished, as all the life of God experiences.
Only with that difference, we are people.
All the living beings possess universe, have a soul, also nature!
Is this not amazing?
I will now continue every day!
I will ask René to wait a while; when I am ready with myself he can put the tower on the university and start to play the director.
I do not believe that he will race head over heels into the street to be on time somewhere.
René works everything out, he no longer takes a step unconsciously, I see.
And his doorkeeper does not dare to fall asleep!
And you no longer lose degree certificates, there is no powerlessness, all of your soul is jubilant!
Now Mother Nature sings to you and you know, if you lose this conscious, you come into another world: that for your soul!
Your inner life!
And we were there.
I felt myself becoming childish?
Childlike, because Christ gave us the example!
This is also a mask!
‘Let the little ones come unto Me.’
Was I not like a child?
That means, discard all of your boasting character and you will be released from this material world.
René was older in that world, because he awakened for his past life.
If you possess that sensitivity, you want to live as God created the laws, your conscious becomes rarefied.
I will go outside, tomorrow I will continue.”
When I came outside I met our boy.
I asked him how his affairs were flourishing and he said:
“You have pulled on my life all day, Frederik.
You built yourself up for me as it were, I saw you.
Here is the sketch of it.”
It is a beautiful drawing, the talent reveals itself of its own accord, the feeling penetrates the inner life.
And he adds:
“Frederik, you can now ask questions.
I am ready.”
And now I must ask him to have patience with me for a while, I want to be finished with the past first.
He throws his arms around his mother and Anna and is extremely sweet to all of us.
Here you see the example for the youth.
A new generation reveals itself.
Anyone who has become acquainted with him has a friend and a brother, behind that lives the master.
I have changed my mind and go to Elsje and Hans.
The amazing child opens the door herself and Hans is sitting lazing.
Elsje is walking around here in an old garment, her skirts drag across the floor, black velvet looks good on her.
She has a beautiful body, she strides through her castle like a young sovereign.
She is like Mary Stuart, I think to myself, when she had to lay her head on the guillotine, only the cross is lacking.
“Oh, that prof ... how are you?”
“Sit down, Frederik, I am pleased that you have come.
What are you doing?”
“I am busy with the logbook.”
Elsje does not yet know that and she asks:
“What is that, dear father?”
She calls me dear father, just like Erica, as she comes to my heart.
But Hans says:
“Frederik is keeping a logbook, dear.
He describes one thing and another about people with whom he is involved.
Just watch out for yourself, or you will also be in it.
Is it not the case, old one?”
“Are you trying to call Frederik old one?" Elsje helps me.
“You are well-matched to each other.”
You see, Hans does not like to hear that, but it is the case.
Elsje now wants to know more about the logbook.
“Just tell, dear father?
May I know?”
“Who can now refuse you anything, Majesty, Mary Stuart?”
“What did you call her, Frederik?" Hans wants to know.
“Have you never seen that drama before, Hans?
Then it is high time.
I at least ten times.
Elsje is like her.
When you see the play, you will know that you have a queen.”
But Elsje does not stop, she wants to know something about the logbook.
“Come, dear father, just tell us.
Or I will go to Erica.”
“The logbook, dear, will give a description of people who are making a long trip.
We have been on our way for several years and a great deal has happened.
We have experienced storms, we have gone through jungles, we have fought with the wild animals, we have also become a bit crazy on the way, we have got to know madhouses and professors who did not know what to do with their patients.
We have made desert trips, visited ancient Egypt, entered Temples and sovereign castles, in short, we experienced trouble and happiness.
And that is now the logbook.
Your learned man also has everything to do with it.
Just go to Erica, she can tell you a lot about it.
I am not so eloquent ...!”
Elsje does not let it lie and leaves.
We sit alone and make the most of it.
“Just like Elsje, Frederik.
Can you understand a child like that?
Did you see what she looks like?
She does it herself!
She can get what she wants, but those beautiful garments which you see, she makes herself and she says that she has not learned it.
An artist in everything.
I cannot believe my happiness, although I must say, I am afraid of the future.”
“What did you say?
Are you afraid?”
“Just look at a sovereign like that, Frederik.
If you enter somewhere with her, she is noticed.
Worshippers enough, if you ask me.
But Elsje is no Hansi.
I wonder every day what I did to deserve this.
It is happiness which is not in your own hands, even if it is your wife.
If I look at her like that, I get the feeling, Frederik, as if she has been lent to me for a while.
You will probably find that ridiculous, yet I feel it like that.
It is too good to be true.
It is always like that for me, if I possess something which I am attached to with soul and bliss, I lose again too.
But woe betide him who lifts a finger to this life, he will be sorry.”
“And then you will murder such a person, of course.”
“Murder , Frederik, I will hang that man myself.
You have to laugh about it, don’t you, but you must not experience such a thing twice.
I would not know myself anymore.
I am getting strange thoughts.
Sometimes I race home, just like that.
I leave everything lying.Even if I was to experience an operation, I do not believe, you will find it childish of course, that I can control myself, this being attracts so much.
And when I am here, I am sorry about it.
What must she think?
Yesterday she says:
‘You are behaving as if you do not trust me, Hans.
Bah, that is not nice.
Why do you not trust me?’
You see, Frederik, then you are left standing and you are a beaten man.
I know, if such things must happen, you cannot stop them anyway.
But it would cost me my life.”
“Why do you not put those thoughts out of your head, Hans?”
“If only I could, I do everything, but it does not work.
I dream about it, Frederik, that they take her away from me.
I race out of my bed at night like a possessed person and see ghosts then.
I believe that I have a bad case of it.
I would prefer to be with her on an island.
I would know then that she belonged to me, but then I would still not trust it.
I would be afraid then, I believe, that sooner or later a merman would come out of the water in order to carry her away.
Worthwhile, Frederik, for you then, to think about.
Is it something for the logbook?”
“Do not make such nonsense out of sacred laws, Hans.”
“I wished I could, my dear Frederik, but it is a nightmare for me.
So you see, it is never good, you can never be happy, there is always something.
I can call myself a lucky man.
I have everything!
And yet, I no longer trust myself.
I would like to put Elsje in my safe.
I do not know where it comes from, Frederik, but the feeling is there.
I am looking for it, but I do not know where I can find that means.
Believe me, if I knew that, I would already wring this life’s neck, in order to create peace and happiness for myself.”
“And you say that just like that.”
“I know, Frederik, the murderer still lives within me.
I would be capable of committing a murder just like that.
I know myself.
I am not you!
I am still just a wretch for many matters.
I know it all too well.
And now phenomena come.
I am now starting to understand Erica, and René.
Well, you will also find it crazy, but it actually started when little René made this beautiful portrait for us.
I sit for hours on end looking at this being, but I do not know this being.
Look for yourself!
What do you see in this portrait?
What does it mean to you, Frederik?
It is a wonder.
I think René is great, honestly, I know how that life conquered itself.
I do not see it in that direction, God preserve me!
But when I come into this portrait, Frederik, when I follow the aura from this inner life, it tells me: you will not keep this!
This is too good for you.
Sooner or later you will lose this life.
And in this way I lie kneeled at the feet of this child and behave nearly mad.
She can barely cope with it.
I am too good, I believe, but what do you do if you are my age?
Just imagine this, Frederik.
A child which is a sister and friend to you, is good, is sweet, gives you a love which you cannot get enough of, is a woman in the very highest sense, an artist in everything, can be a sovereign for your life?
I could weep when I think of this being.
I want to play the doormat, I want to do everything, in order to be able to possess that certainty: this soul is of yourself for this life.
I have fifty thousand guilders to spare for it, if I possessed that certainty, Frederik, this feeling and my longing is so painful.
You do not yet know me, I believe, Frederik.
Do you know what a woman means to me?
When I was a boy, Frederik, and a few of those skirts blew past me ... I already trembled.
I found a woman such a sacred thing, so amazing and supernatural, that I said to myself: if you ever choose, come to be faced with your decision, then know what you are doing, do not get caught, because it destroys you.
I do not yet understand how I got over what happened with Hansi.
As a result of this, Frederik, I was so afraid to get married, it took so long before I could make a decision.
I was afraid, afraid of deception, for suffering, misery, to be taken for a ride by the thing which is the dearest for this life.
Man, the pain I had to accept.”
“And now you possess it, you destroy it again in this way.
Because this is not going well, Hans.”
“I know all too well.
I am creating a distance between us.
But I am telling you, I am fighting against it; however, it does not help.
I cannot get away from these feelings.
I am a psychopath in this, Frederik.
It follows me wherever I am, it stands before me.
I would prefer to crush her stone-dead in my arms, it is only then that I will get peace.
Can you believe it?”
“Is it so serious?”
“So serious, you ask, it is an illness of mine, for me!
It is horrific, frightening, I have never known such a thing.
I wanted to talk to you before.
When you came in a moment ago, I thought, fortunately, now relaxation will come, now I can talk, I do not know anymore how far I am.
But what do you think?
“One thing, Hans, what you want is tuned in to peace and quiet at home?”
I said, after all, I race back home and must admit that Elsje stares at me as if it is thundering inside me.
I bring her pain ... I know it, but it is in my blood, it already lives in my heart, I cannot sleep because of it, I am upset if you wish to know.”
When I want to give Hans an answer, René is standing under our noses.
“Well, well”, Hans says, “what do we have to thank for this?”
“Mother is asking if you want to come and eat with us.”
René looks at Hans.
They are eyes which know heaven and earth, the universal of which Hans does not yet see.
Hans absorbs the artist in him.
It is only a few seconds that they touch each other, gauge, feel, then Hans says:
“A wonderful idea, René, we will come immediately.”
René looks at his own product.
That also takes a while.
Hans follows him.
I also follow him.
I almost get a heart attack, I tremble, I shake again, my heart thumps in my throat.
But the boy, who is like a child, saves me when he says:
“I believe, Hans, that you can thank your heaven and earth for this mercy.
Do you know, we people do not understand such gifts.
If God gives you something you are immediately upset, because you think that you must miss it again tomorrow.”
Hans’ eyes almost roll out of their sockets.
His academic head makes a tumble ... for him these words are the Golgotha court!
He does not know what he must cling to, but René also says:
“Are you not afraid, Hans, of losing this?
For example, by death?
I can feel your stimuli, I can feel your fear, Hans.
This is how you psychologists are.
You must give freedom to something which you really want to keep.
Something that you really want to possess and would not miss for the world, you must be able to distance yourself from that, which is the natural reaction for the life.
Only now you keep it!
Something which you kindle yourself another person does not need to do for you!
When that catches fire, Hans, it will break your heart and there will be no question of extinguishing it.
Did you think differently about it?”
I look at René.
Hans smiles, but this is the laugh of a beaten dog.
René also says:
“See you soon, Frederik, will you come quickly?
The master has gone.
“What has happened to that lad, Frederik?
Tell me, what has happened to René?”
“Just be quiet!
Stay calm when people tell you the truth.
What has happened to our fool, you ask?
You will soon experience that.
Have you forgotten your bet?
I can tell you that I have won, Hans.
You could already have lost fifty thousand, I could have made you penniless.
This crazy life has awakened.
I wanted to know what he saw in that.
But you can see it, what you worry about you get sent home just like that as a gift.
Is this truth?
You create misery yourself.
René sees your Divine gift, he has respect for it.
But he absorbs everything of your life.
Did we not use to talk about influence!
Do we not know that telepathy exists, which is inherent?
Did your patients not give you this proof?
Well, here you have such an example.
René is hypersensitive.
Soon we will challenge you to an honest fight.”
“What do you want?”
“We challenge you to a spiritual-scientific fight, Hans.”
“You are not serious.”
“I am talking with deadly seriousness.
I imagine it like this.
It can happen here in your home.
We will involve every faculty.
You, colleagues of yours, the astronomer, not forgetting the theologian, all the spiritual faculties will gather together and can ask their questions.”
“Have you gone mad?”
“I am just as mad as then, those days in your institution.
I am talking with deadly seriousness, Hans.
And it is only then that you can ask me what happened to René.”
“You are not serious, Frederik.”
“You see, this is how you people are, says René, but you are also like that.
You will never get a base in your thinking.
We will warn you, Hans.
It can take another year, but it will come.
And then we will experience supernatural laws, it will be a cosmic celebration, but do not talk about it yet.
I must first have my things ready, I must be ready myself.
But they are wonders!
You will be surprised, Hans.
I tell you, this has even more meaning than your Elsje.
Even more than a hundred thousand Elsjes together.”
“What do you actually want, Frederik?”
“To have a fight for life and death with your science.
I am still building, Hans.
I can tell you, we have made it!”
“You are not serious!”
“We have made it, Hans!
I have made it and René has made it too!”
“I do not believe it, Frederik.”
“So, you do not believe it.
But what does that talk of a moment ago mean to you then?”
“Well ... I do not know.”
“I know, Hans.
René came here and absorbs everything in him.
He is becoming yourself!
I know that from him.
I got my proof long ago!
Karel and Erica cannot see it yet, because his life is busy creating order.
But I tell you, you will experience great wonders.
You will experience something, which you will be so upset about, which can change your whole life.
René is a master.”
“Do not make me laugh, Frederik, do not exaggerate.”
“I swear it to you, Hans, it is deadly seriousness for me.”
“Karel and Erica must know that surely?”
“If you do that, I will never come back here again.”
“Why may they not know?”
“Because they would disturb.”
“So it is a favour for me, that I know?”
“You are the first one whom I have told something about this.
“What even ...!”
“That is nonsense.
Now confess, Frederik.”
“Later, Hans, later ...!
Then you will know everything.”
“You have secrets, Frederik?”
“Not quite that, it has to do with our fight.”
“Come on, we are going.
I promise you, not to tell anyone about it.
But you must not forget, Frederik, I am critical.”
“You can be as much as you want.
We will get you.
You will receive the proof.
Nothing will stop this.”
“How do you wish to do that, Frederik?
Must I accept that René wants to crush us?”
“He will explain all the laws of madness to you, Hans.
Also those of the universe.
Actually for everything, he is omniscient!”
Hans splits his sides laughing.
I knew that, but I now play it out, he can prepare himself then.
But I do this for other matters too.
He can now tune into this.
Elsje will then fade into the background.
It helps. I did it, told him it, in order to help him.
“You are laughing again, Hans, but now I warn you.
Do not laugh too loudly.
Do not laugh about things which you understand nothing about.
You no longer know us.
Your life stood still, mine has awakened!”
“Are you serious, Frederik?”
“As true as there is a God of love.”
“But you do not know that ... that is also a great mystery to you.”
“We are now that far, Hans.
We were also able to get to know that through our fool.”
“It is impossible.”
“And that is also your misfortune.
You can never accept anything.
You can never miss out bits with your heart and soul.
That is very good, but sometimes it must happen.
I tell you again ... we will soon challenge you to this fight.
It will be a celebration.
Erica and Karel, all of us, Hans, will experience wonders.
“Is it not better then, that you also warn Erica and Karel?”
“I will think about it.
I will talk to René about it.
However, I believe that it is better that we wait a while.
If it takes another year it will be a pressure for him.
And that must not happen.
No, I already know, you will wait.
I have given you these nice things, but now wait.
Think about it, Hans.
Now trust me, I will not pull any more jokes, the life is too serious for me.
I know what I am doing and what we can do.”
“But how did this suddenly come?”
“Suddenly, you ask?
It already started when Erica experienced her first phenomena, Hans, when René was still living in her.”
“So, after all?”
“No longer a fool, Hans, but a spiritual child prodigy ...!”
“I do not know ... and you cannot blame me either.
But I will wait and see.”
“Think about it, Hans.
Imagine such a situation.
All of us around him, you ask questions.”
“And you can ask him questions?”
“You will now get all your questions answered, Hans!”
“It is impossible ... Frederik.”
“It is possible, Hans!
Think about it and let go of that other nonsense.
You will get a quiet life again.
You as an academic can do it!
Or you will become like Franciscanus.
And that would be awful.
But you are the type for it.”
“So, did you think that?
I would rather commit suicide.”
“You must not do that anyway, Hans, our little René will also explain those laws to you.”
“You are not serious, Frederik.”
“Then just get the ‘droodles’ for today!
Is it okay now?”
Elsje is playing, Erica is singing.
Karel is also there.
We sit down and listen.
René is not there.
Anna is at the back.
We now enjoy ourselves.
Karel too, soon we will no longer need to go to a theatre.
It is beautiful!
It caresses you.
Erica has a beautiful voice, reaches the alto but lies just in between it.
So a strong soprano.
I now think of Liebestraum of Franz.
It was wonderful then too, now everything is different.
And then I follow Hans.
I establish that he is already not himself any more.
A fixed idea is pursuing him!
I must not think about it.
Karel and Erica see him as quite ordinary?
No one sees it?
Only we, René and I know it?
The women are ready ... we clap.
Then we have an aperatif before dinner and a conversation about art.
Elsje is sitting there like a sovereign.
“Just look at my sister, Frederik?
Precisely Mary Stuart.”
“What did I tell you, Hans?
Here is the proof.”
Elsje can take it.
The child absorbs it as if it is none of her business.
We enjoy her personality.
A while later we are all sitting at the table.
René is quiet.
He is thinking.
Hans is boiling inside, he cannot keep it to himself, I feel.
I send my thoughts to René, who is sitting to my right on the other side of the table.
We look at each other by means of a flash in our eyes.
I believe that I hit target.
The rose is already flapping and the life for it says:
“Why do you wear these garments, Elsje?”
Hans is astonished.
I know why René is asking this question.
Something, that is experienced fiercely, Mohammed told me, just watch out, you will experience that more than once with him, he absorbs and we absorb just like that in us.
Other people can do that too, but they are divided and now only a few flows of thought reach your life.
They waft through your soul as it were, now the personality cannot feel them sharply, receive them.
But when there are feelings which are sharply tuned into a life, we take them over and ninety-nine times out of a hundred, Frederik, the conversation about them follows.
Now that René asks this question, I can already feel the end.
This evening we are talking about this marriage.
And Elsje will participate like a queen or she will be silent as a result of it.
As long as this does not go wrong, because Hans is visibly upset.
Elsje looks into René’s eyes.
All of us are completely disengaged.
We no longer have any meaning.
Hans sits there like a grandfather.
He slurps up his soup.
Karel looks at his big boy, but Erica must give the answer.
“What a situation ... to dress yourself, of course, isn’t it, Elsje?”
It is a bad answer.
Does not touch any core.
René is already silent, yet he also says:
‘Do you do that yourself?
I mean, do you just get the longings in you just like that?
I ask it from a painter’s point of view, from that world, because I think it is a beautiful dress.
Really something to make a portrait from.
Do not grudge artists an eye.
‘If you can make something special of it, René?
You are young, but there is talent.
I would feel honoured.
Will you do it, dear?’
‘Of course, when does the master wish to begin?’
‘Only when the portrait of mine is finished ...’ Erica adds.
‘You as well?’ ... says Karel.
‘And then I myself, dear son, now your father too.’
‘If you put on such a beautiful dress, Mother, I will begin tomorrow.
Of course, I have not yet made it.
Aren't these models really something?
May I, Hans?’
‘Of course you may, go ahead.
I will get my whole house full at this rate.
I do not mind.’
But that is a lie, I know.
Hans already got a shock.
Here powers are played out which we do not yet know.
It could be possible that I see things too heavy, but it beats under my heart.
Connecting Elsje with René is dangerous.
I believe what he has told me, he must nothing else.
He wants nothing else.
I believe that we live in laws which all of us cannot change anything about.
There is a power which forces us to things.
Hans is afraid of losing his happiness, we will probably help to make it happen.
Or, put and thought of differently, these things are infallible.
These laws come to you.
These lives are sent on your path or are already on your path before you begin this life.
I do not believe it.
I think Hans is childish!
What is there actually involved if a young artist wants to make a portrait?
Karel also approves, he eats well, drinks his wine, smokes his cigar, there is nothing the matter.
We talk about the portrait.
René puts Elsje on her throne.
‘Truly’, says Hans, ‘now I can see it too.
It is Mary Stuart.
Just make your portrait and it will hang on my wall, René, just make us happy.’
René makes a sketch of Elsje.
It is amazingly true to life.
What a talent this life possesses.
Just look at what it is like.
Hans must admit that this is art.
Still so young.
He asks René about it.
He will soon be twenty-two.
Old artists do not like him, but that can be explained.
This child gets everything for nothing.
The gifts are placed here in a boy’s heart.
Elsje sits there as if she will step off her throne just like that, but there is no crown.
She is virgin forest in this velvet.
This is no longer a mask, you can see through it.
Erica behaves surprised.
She cannot get enough of it, she thinks.
I know what she is thinking.
I know what she is feeling, and I also know that she finds herself mean!
But what do you do, as a mother?
Oil again on this invisible fire.
How that will burn soon.
Oil on an invisible fire which these thoughts and longings are a part of.
It fits exactly, but that will cost victims.
‘Ugh, bah’, I say ... I am so greatly annoyed that the words roll over my lips.
Only not René, he continues.
‘What is ugh and bah?’ Erica asks.
I say: ‘The art of all those beggars.
This seems resembles at least.
You see what your son has learned on his trip.
I must say, worthwhile.’
René has already been busy for an hour and is working while we are sitting there.
Suddenly he stops and runs upstairs.
A moment later he is back and says to Erica:
‘Come on, Mother, sit down.
I want to paint you.
First a sketch.’
Erica sits down.
It does not take long, just half an hour, then the schematic base is already finished.
He will work it out on canvas.
He is gone.
We talk about art, about the beautiful garments of Elsje, about René.
‘Could you have dreamt of this, Hans?
Had you expected this?
I do not believe it yet, but you are on top of it.
You cannot escape it.
He will be a character, I believe it now.
Poor Frederik, how we beat you.
Or does the prof not yet give him this honour!
I do, Hans!
Frederik will be proved right in everything.
I am learning from my son.
You do not believe it?
I am starting to see him now.
I believe that I was born for this.
Frederik does not think so, but I see something changing in myself.
Yes, Elsje, you should have experienced all of that.
I am the stoker.
I stoke the monster.
Hans is a stowaway ... is he not, Frederik?
But you are our guest, Elsje.
Will you come with us?
We are close to the coast of Florida.
Aren’t we, Frederik?
We will stay there for a while in order to have a rest.
René can then make some eastern paintings, I mean southern.
Coconut trees and Pacific South seas.
Where are the pieces of your trip, Frederik?’
René comes exactly as Karel asks it.
He shows his new things to Hans and Elsje.
The Pyramid, Luxor, ruins, deserts, the Sphinx, the Nile, Vienna, a street in Berlin, a piece of Budapest.
And this is?
What is it?
Above ancient Egypt, in the nocturnal darkness, a shape in the universe.
‘The Goddess of Isis’, says René, ‘she watches over your lives.’
The file closes, he wishes us goodnight.
He makes off.
I believe that Hans thinks: well done.
It reassures him.
He cannot stop his thoughts, I can feel him.
From René’s side he does not feel any fear, even if it came to him with the painting of his Elsje.
You can see that from everything, René only reacts to art.
It has become a beautiful evening, thank God, I felt it wrong, we have talked little about this marriage.
But the radiation which I felt was therefore broken.
These underground thoughts have sought their own path.
I do not hope that they will return.
I felt that thinking.
I saw that thinking.
I went into it.
And I surrendered completely to it.
It is strange, now it has gone and Hans is different!
Ice has been broken.
It was replaced by reassurance.
They would be amazing feelings, if they were not so penetrating.
People are destroyed by them and people are happy as a result of them.
What is it?
Why were we brought together?
Hans and Elsje leave, we will go there next week.
Hans is enthusiastic and takes care of his queen.
‘That Hans!’ Karel utters.
‘He sits on Elsje like a broody hen on eggs.
Do you understand a chap like that, Frederik?’
‘I understand him, Karel.
He will also get convulsions from it.’
‘You know what?
Hans is off his rocker.
Did you think that I am crazy?
Is this normal?
I firmly believe that I am on the mark, I cannot be mistaken, it is so obvious.’
‘What is so obvious, Karel?’ Erica wants to know.
‘That Hans is becoming senile because of his treasure.
It is ridiculous.
Who must deny him this life?
Elsje is no Hansi.
Can you not see then that Hans is furious?
Or do you not use your eyes.
But I do not believe that.
One thing, do not go into it, Erica, or it will become trouble.
This is no longer normal.
Am I right, Frederik?’
‘How right you are.
Just a moment ago, when I was with him, he started talking about it himself.
It is fear of losing Elsje.
And that at this age is dangerous.
That will become sphinxes, if you ask me.
He is driven from pillar to post.
You see him at home at the strangest times.
He says himself, I walk round with it day and night.
It chases him home.
Elsje thinks it is dreadful of course.
However, René gave him a beating.
‘What did the boy say, Frederik?’
I tell Erica what René said to him:
‘But what a boy, Karel, he feels keenly what is going on inside a human being!
Did you know that, Karel?’
‘Not I, but I believe that I understand a bit about it.
We must stop that painting, I believe.
You never know.’
‘You must not do that, Karel, René does not care about Elsje.’
‘What are you saying, Frederik?
René does not care about Elsje?
Do you wish to gloss over the matter?’
‘Not that, but he says so.’
‘Damn dangerous, I would also be afraid if I had a child like that and there were too many youths around!
But, what do you want?
Do you perhaps wish to go and live on an island?’
‘Literally Hans’ thoughts, Karel.
He would like that.
But then there is also a fear of a merman!’
‘That is good, that is really good, I have not heard a joke like that for a long time.
What nonsense a prof like that gets into his head.
I cannot cry about it, I could die laughing.
‘As I have not seen before, Karel.
And a dangerous one.’
‘Do you think?’
‘It is certain, this is dangerous.’
‘What should we do, Frederik?’
‘What should we do, Erica?
I do not know.
You cannot do anything about it.’
‘How awful, isn’t it?’
You call this awful?
It is nonsense.
Let Hans do what he wants.
If René was to lift a hand to Elsje, I would wring his neck.
But it is not that.
Hans does not know what to do with himself.
Of course something has happened which we do not know.
I do not suspect anyone, Elsje not at all, I would no longer trust myself.
‘What does he want then, Frederik?’
‘What Hans wants, Erica?
To put Elsje under a golden bellglass.
No more than that.
But it has gone to his head.
It is usually the case with these types.
They lose themselves in happiness and make a fairground of it.
I do it a bit less and do not start about anything, you are now sure of yourself.
Let go, come what may, do not look for any fata morganas, you will go to pieces.
I am going to sleep.
With pleasant dreams too!’
I also write down:
It is dreadful with Hans.
This is no triviality.
Elsje is like an angel in white.
And Hans, who has experienced a heaven, wants to have Our Lord there.
But that is just not possible.
Yet I am worried!
What is he aiming at?
Bring us into trouble which he looks for himself?
But I am afraid, Hans!
Truly, I am afraid for you!
I do not yet know, but???
Do you believe in things mapped out for your life?
Do you believe that we people perhaps bring happiness for other people?
I do not believe in it, because I have not yet experienced it.
If you wish to see your own happiness?
“I am talking to myself ...” passes my lips and I also record this.
I have felt thoughts in me which are tuned to hypocrisy!
And that is dreadful.
Because I expect something?
And that something lives somewhere?
I am going to sleep!’
The following morning I continue with the logbook.
I see that René has also worked until late on this sketches.
Elsje looks amazingly good and Erica looks ten years younger.
Where does he get all of this from?
We can be satisfied, a young talent is revealing itself.
I write down in the logbook:
What I felt yesterday and saw, was sent to me.
Would Hans also be sent his thoughts?
Then it will be misery and talk, but I have a fervent hatred of that game.
I do not like cards.
When Erica was between three and four months pregnant, her phenomena had disappeared, or became different, so that we did not see them.
I said then: then another working will come, the bodily systems will now get meaning.
And she was calm.
Later phenomena came again, she played piano then as I will never hear her play again.
Was this inspiration?, she asked me.
I said: I do not know.
I do not know what inspiration is, but that mask has also fallen long ago.
We now know what inspiration is!
If you cannot give yourself for a hundred percent, René says, you can never experience a true inspiration.
You must first exhaust yourself completely.
That therefore means that he feels this.
That he feels and understands Van Gogh, I believe.
Inspiration is spiritual takings.
For René and for Mohammed you are now in contact with supernatural worlds, with spirits!
People who are separated from the bodily systems.
They say that, but when will we get the proof of that?
This mask will not fall for a long time.
I will therefore continue.
When René was born – because nothing else special happened afterwards – we were faced with other masks.
Too big a head.
Erica coming apart at the seams, it was raining.
I believe that these were afterpains for the soul.
She was one with her child all this time!
I already accept this and this is influence during the pregnancy.
What René gave her, let her experience, she could not escape that just like that, she had to experience it.
And that therefore happened.
I talked to her then and took her on this trip, which has not yet come to an end.
The jungle stage has, not the home-coming, because now we also keep experiencing something of that trip, our journey, which went through hells and heavens.
René’s head changed.
I now think: too great a material influence.
This tissue was faced with deformity, but it did not come that far.
After three months you already saw this head changing.
Therefore a material working with a spiritual base.
There are no complications to be seen.
The doctors did not know it, neither did we.
Yet I had my feelings about it.
They were, as I already said before: spiritual deformity, but it did not come that far!
And then we started the trip.
Erica got better.
René received phenomena.
He rubbed with excrement, made drawings from it.
So we see that those feelings already revealed themselves at that time.
Now it has become art.
Then the notes came.
And my dreams.
I cannot reply to those notes.
I hope to get an answer as soon as possible.
We know about his leaving for the institution.
The inner life dominated.
My dreams remain, my dissolving from this world.
As a result of this I got contact with him.
When René lay in the cradle, it already started then, he already became separated from the bodily systems.
His prehistoric life as a yogi or magician awakened for his personality.
What I experienced as a dream, was an occult law for him.
I became rarefied, but through him.
Because I followed his life, he drew me to him.
I cannot see it any differently.
That other world, I already spoke about it, is the world for our soul.
But we were not yet separated, not completely of ourselves, or we would have to have been able to see that world as that world was or is!
And I did not see that.
He did, he says: I know those people!
Not I, but I probably experienced the first grade for it there.
I assume that the soul lives eternally and is a human being, we will not suddenly be in the highest class, and will have to do a pre-study first.
In any case I learned as a result of this that the soul is attached to the bodily systems.
René was older in that world.
He entered the life of Rachi-Hadju!
The spiritual child prodigy awakened, the soul surpassed the bodily systems.
This is very simple, it cannot be any different, this is the sacred truth.
Many Orientals experienced that and you still hear about it.
That a Western child possesses this is extraordinary.
A piece of proof, Mohammed says, that our wisdom is passing over to the West.
All the things I was able to experience at that time brought me to the life of René.
There was no more and is no more to say about it.
Since I became rarefied, I repeat, I reached unity with his life!
Because I am also tuned in like that.
Mohammed says: your souls have attunement to each other.
We knew each other in the past.
But that means that an infallible hand now works on our lives.
Poor Hans, then it will become dangerous!
I no longer want to think about you!
I walked into the wood in order to be able to think better.
I am waiting for René.
I want to ask him a few questions and I am curious how he will now answer them.
I consider all the things which happened in those years.
What else must I know?
The soul, for all those psychopaths, is to blame for this decline and destruction.
They are people who have destroyed themselves in previous lives.
God has nothing to do with this misery.
Now I can see all that misery of the people before me.
Anyone who does not yet possess any feeling, suffers poverty.
Wealth and poverty have no meaning, because you can achieve everything of and for this life and society.
Anyone who just does his best, will receive riches.
That costs you blood, but there are also people who acquire it by lies and deception.
I now believe that every human being was once rich.
That now your thoughts are tuned into something else.
You do not go backwards now but forwards, material possession is not always happiness.
I know that all too well.
And I live in there.
Murder and arson, are worlds of misery.
Later you will be faced with that misery and something stops you, which is an invisible halt for this life.
Whatever you do, you cannot escape it.
There are people who try everything, but nothing works.
Everything is against them, works against them.
And those are invisible laws?
These are causes and effects!
Anyone who is wild and murders, must return to this sick world.
When this dissolves later it will be a paradise here, but that will take a while.
I can now see thousands of masks falling!
And the most amazing thing of all is that God is above everything; He thinks to himself: just go ahead.
I will get the profits anyway!
And so it is!
If you think that you murder a fellow human being you are doing that to yourself!
You cannot murder anyone!
Is it not amazing?
You must return to the earth for it in order to give that soul a new life.
There is no injustice.
The parents of all those mad people have to do with their children, those souls.
One sends you misery, the other happiness.
What you once took away from another person, you bring that back again to that other person later.
Money and goods, love and happiness.
Again Hans builds up before my eyes and forces me as it were to watch out for him.
But I am stronger, so he must leave my house!
But is this not true?
Just steal; you will not only get your punishment here, but you will have to return it to the Divine laws.
I let myself be deceived that a priest saw that he had been robbed there and there.
And now that that same soul wanted to do something else with that money, he went to those people and asked for his stolen goods back.
The grandchild of those people kicked him out the door, but he had said: I will get it ... the laws now speak.
You will give me back my possessions, because your ancestors beg for it.
And what happened?
This soul, a man of forty, got the inclination, to give the priest everything from himself and to become a pupil of his.
And then they were one.
The priest descended into his life and brought it to revelation.
In previous lives they had had to do with each other, but a family member was a thief.
That is all very well, but we Westerns do not go into it anyway.
We do not believe in those tales, we are too sober and too sharply tuned to the material for that.
I just consider myself.
I give a great deal away, but I am not yet the type to lock myself into the ground as a vagabond.
I love beautiful things.
I want to do everything, but I do not go too far.
I will not make any hocus-pocus of it, I will remain with both feet firmly on the ground for everything.
I do not want to lose my grip.
I will never be able to make a fuss about stolen love.
I see so many sweet things in this world.
Must you murder yourself for a soul?
I would not be able to do that.
I would withdraw?
Not that either!
I would act very differently, I would just go my way, even if it gnaws my heart to bits, I will not let myself be walked upon by another!
And in my life I saw that this is the best way, if you want to experience life.
You will not be destroyed now, you will remain yourself in everything.
But Hans is afraid!
Because he is afraid, I get cold shivers.
Imagine that someone comes to him soon and says: ‘What you have, belongs to my life.
Give it back to me!’
And Hans is like an eastern law.
He could be a maharadja just like that.
I find him sickly the past few years.
He lives like a sovereign.
Were those means earned honestly?
I do not know.
Hans’ parents were rich, perished, I believe, but the old Groevers left him a pile of cash behind.
I want to bet everyone that Hans comes from the East.
Just look at his surroundings, pure Eastern, everything.
He walks away with dragons, eastern statues, to me he is a runaway Buddha.
At the time he has succumbed there and now seeks it in the sober West.
And he has the knack of it.
I believe that he has transformed his magical powers into modern psychology.
Of course, these become Western profs, because these souls are open to the occult law and psychology is no different.
The western explanation does not change anything about the law!
And Hans also knows that, but he does not know what to do for himself.
I now find him a poor dog, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a reindeer in clogs, a fish on an air balloon, you now know for sure that the animal is dying!
But will I be left with the misery soon?
Hans must decide that for himself, it is ridiculous!
Yet, now and again you come back to it.
And then Hans is standing before your nose.
I let myself be deceived that this is possible.
A man must go on a trip.
This man is in another country.
That man walks and that man works there.
But someone is following that man.
Where he is, that other invisible and yet visible man is standing before his nose.
What does this form want?
He knows that man.
It is a shadow and has nothing to do with spirits, he knows that man.
He writes home.
What is the matter with so and so.
I must know!
Finally after much hesitation a letter comes.
You have been robbed for ten thousand.
What did you say?
Robbed for ten thousand?
Yes, it is sad but it is the truth.
You have been robbed by that same man who built himself up so consciously and completely himself before your eyes.
You could now have that character put in prison, but what will that help?
You will not get your money back anyway.
And this is true!
Because it is I myself.
I was deceived for ten thousand guilders.
And that character, I was in the middle of the jungle then, was my banker.
The man went off with my money.
I never had all my money in one bank, otherwise I could have started from the beginning again.
You see, do just say that this is not possible.
I saw that invisible man before me.
I kicked that life away from me.
If I tuned myself into something at full power, the life had disappeared.
But if I let my train of thoughts free for a moment, then the man stood before me again and followed me where I went.
Then I wanted to know what was the matter there.
They had not wanted to write it to me yet.
You see, I just want to say, we people can be very sensitive.
Hans probably also feels a character like that.
How often have I not heard this about dying.
I am with a friend of mine in Paris.
We go for a nice meal and out in the evening.
We sit in the opera and suddenly he says to me:
‘I must go home, Frederik.
You cannot stop me.
I am going!’
I say: ‘Go, just go, I will wait for your answer.’
When he gets home the man collapses after a few hours and is stone-dead.
What is this?
A crazy thing?
You can hear millions of stories about it.
And all those people felt and took over something unprecedented, as a result of which they started to act.
What Hans feels, I was able to follow, lives in our midst and is not visible.
Yet it is there!
But where does it live?
Can you prevent such a thing?
It was probably good that he locked himself up somewhere with Elsje for this life.
But then you avoid your own life?
I do not believe that it helps.
These are laws!
I cannot become free of them, but they are laws!
It is possible that Hans is just imagining things, but they are laws for our realm of thought and the personality.
The soul probably enters something, which it experienced before.
Just consider René.
What has not become conscious in this life?
They are wonderful things.
For other people it could mean misery.
Who dares to say of himself, I am free of karmic laws?
Anyone who says that is a bluffer.
We know very well that we little people have nothing to contribute when the universe comes down.
What do we earthworms hope to achieve!
And that, which comes to and in your life like that in silence, is like a universe!
You could become afraid because of it.
You have nothing more to say really, you have been handed over to countless matters.
You have forgotten those matters a long time ago, but those matters have not forgotten us!
And then sooner or later they come to us and follow us in order to intervene infallibly and to stab a sensitive knife into our hearts.
Is it perhaps nonsense?
I have had it.
I will see whether René is at home and I will ask him a few questions.
René is at home.
I am lucky, he is resting.
I go to him and ask whether I may ask him something.
‘Who does it concern?’
‘Here, Frederik, an article about our trip.
Will you try and place it?’
‘I will try.’
‘What do you wish to know, Frederik?’
‘I wanted to know, whether you know what happened between the moment of fertilisation and the fourth month.’
‘So, you want to know that, Frederik.
For the logbook?’
Can you connect yourself with that?’
‘Have patience for a moment, I will tune into that.
When I fall asleep you close the door.’
After five minutes there comes – but he is already asleep – :‘
You see, Frederik, that this sleep is the same as in my youth?’
May I call you by your name?’
‘No, do not mention any names, that will awaken me.
But can you see it?’
‘I can see it, it is a revelation to me.
Are you now still conscious for this life and can you see where I live?’
‘That is also possible.’
‘What kind of state do you live in?’
‘I have descended into the first stages for madness.
But I am myself and conscious.
The human being who experiences the sickly grades, lives in this.
Because I am conscious, I will give you the proof.
Look for yourself at your watch, I will tell you what I see.
It is twenty-three minutes to six!
I can see your life, I stand in and behind you, I can now go where I want to.
Yet I now remain one with my body.’
‘How, if I may ask?’
‘As a result of your will I am now in this sleep.
Do you not know that?’
‘Are you able to do this under your own power?’
‘Yes, of course, soon I will be that far.’
‘Can you see what I am doing?’
‘You are writing: ‘Now the masks fall.’
Is it the case?’
‘Precisely, your time was also pure.
I am surprised.
Can you now go where you want?’
‘Not yet, only then, when I experience the deeper laws of life will that be possible.’
‘And can you control yourself in this world?’
‘I know what you mean.
Does a lion not know its powers?
I also do.
I am ready, we reached that far many lives ago.
I am myself!
And you are ready to accept your task!
In order to bring to the West what we were able to master yonder.
You are not afraid anyway, that something will happen to me?’
‘Not that, but it is so supernatural.’
‘I will answer your first questions.
Know now that you can decide about my life, I mean, if you want to be connected, give me this life and conscious and you will reach unity with all the worlds created by God.’
‘May I tell our loved ones what we are doing?’
‘Tell them what we are doing, but not everything, or they would already succumb now.’
‘I thank you.
Then I acted well.
I thought, as you feel, Rachi-Hadju.’
‘Similar powers, my friend and brother, will give this world consciousness.
At the moment when I descended into my mother, I knew of course nothing more about all these laws.
The soul as a human being returns to the embryonic stage and then descends into the mother in order to start the physical life.
It is the father or the mother who has attunement to this life.
The father or the mother therefore attracts this life, but it is the ‘soul’ as personality, which possesses these laws and has them in its own hands.’
‘What does this mean?’
‘That it decides when its new life begins.’
‘Or the parents, or we people would be able to decide about life and death?’
‘Very precise, you feel, we now got those laws in our own hands.
God gave us those laws, but if I was to explain to you the cosmic, the universal law, you will understand for the first time that the universal law has these lives in its hands in a dominating way.
You must see these laws for birth, materially, spiritually and universally.
The universal law ensures harmony.
Thousands of possibilities lie in this, which you will receive.
After all, a mother is capable of destroying her child.
You have already touched this possibility by your thinking.
There are mothers who give birth more than once.
Other people violate this wonder and sponge off those other mothers.
As a result of this universal gaps emerged.
For the universe, my friend, the mother gives birth twice, for her and for the life which belongs to her, her creator, both want to continue life.’
‘I understand you and I thank you for this answer.’
‘My mother carried me, it was she who would attract me, but it is I who forced her to it.
That she would receive me, that I would be born here, you can sense this, is a law, because we have to do with each other and that connection cannot be broken.
I brought along this consciousness.
It is obvious that I would dominate her life, because she had not yet reached that height for motherhood.
Other mothers experience something similar, all the laws for madness, psychopathy also lie here, all laws for unconscious souls, who prepare themselves for this life, after they went under in a previous life.
Every wrong deed, every action, which is directly attuned to the life, my friend, takes you to the material disturbance.
And that disturbance reveals itself through and after the birth; in and around the mother you can establish those disturbances.
You have thought and felt purely, I can see your conscious.
The soul returns to the earth as it was during its previous life.
The mother who would give birth to me, could have experienced my revelations for her own life, which she sometimes experienced as a result of her art.
You wondered what is inspiration?
Well, you will only then be able to be inspired, when you have devoted for yourself the full hundred percent to art.
Or, it is human, material, earthly capability, knowledge, whatever you want to call it, the event happens from the material thinking and not from the spirit!’
‘I thank you, it is amazingly pure.’
‘I am one with all these laws, my friend, nothing will stop me.’
‘You are looking back at your own birth?’
‘It is I!
I go through this birth and then come back in the previous life.
When we were able to meet each other between heaven and earth, we were spiritually one for our conscious.
As a result of this you could already have accepted that I would awaken with my full previous conscious.
I could have elevated myself to an age of seven years old, but then my life would have been faced with the universal halt and I would start to dominate the material.
Can you sense this?
These are the seven universal grades of life as a law for the soul, spirit and material being, but in which the soul as the personality lives and will act.
I acted, but as a result of what?
Because I had already reached and wanted that reality before this birth took place.
Understand properly what you are doing, I do, everyone does, is still despite the material universe and the massive contact for ourselves!
You do something for your people; you do that, if you wish to see this universally, for your own life.
So we see that we experience good and evil and also have those laws in our own hands.
We do this for the God of all life, of course, also for the development of this mass, but we follow the path which was revealed to us by the Christ.
One day the longing will awaken in the soul to start a higher life.
Well, you are ready.
The other life here and outside your own existence, is not yet so far.
As a result of this, my friend, you already live between life and death!
I too and with us everyone who wants good.’
‘I am proud of your answers, Rachi-Hadju.
Can this name be pronounced?’
‘This one does not disturb me.
Because this one has attunement with this wisdom, this life, my sleep cannot be disturbed.
If you wish ... father Oteb?’
Does Isis not live in your heart?
Was it not you who gave me these ‘wings’?
Did you not teach me how to think?
We were one there.
I know it, many lives also took us to hatred and evil, now we were able to conquer these disturbances and there is nothing more which will separate us!
You were the supreme authority there!
We served you, you us.
Now we are in the West, but there are more!
Also my mother and she who serves you, fills your heart to carry on, is part of it.
The others will soon get to see their own lives and belong to others.
‘I am just like a child which wants to listen to his father.’
‘And this is your blessing, your conscious, your spirit of sacrifice, your devotion to duty towards them for whom you live.
Was I not your child?
Did you not give me every love there?
Was it I who prepared your fall?
We will go back there later.
You must ask your questions, soon you will have to listen to the material command and you will be faced with the feeding of the organism.’
‘Is that also necessary now?’
‘You have to listen to those laws, my friend.
It is only then that we will go further.
I want you to ask all your questions soon, if you wish to be prepared for the new life.
Do not forget, you will have to ask thousands of questions.
I will record the universal, which answers the questions of which have attunement to His life.
They will form your tower, His University!
Do you believe this?’
‘I accept everything!’
‘If you were to doubt for just a moment, my conscious and also your power for your life will dissolve.
Before you would have been broken by this.
Before, in Ré and Ra ... it was, it broke your life, and you would later have to accept.
It made your life perish, also mine.
Millions of souls are on the way to mastering those treasures; all of them will take part in disharmony sooner or later and will succumb as a result of this.
We were allowed to continue!
We did not exceed these laws, but we were faced with them and had to accept this going to pieces.
You can do nothing for exceeding for the good, the awakening.
You can rebel, but then you will know how to act.
Now you are capable of ensuring your life for a fall!
Do you hear it?
Our life is touched.
Go, you will see me there, I will be as I must be ...
Nothing will disturb me!
Eat and drink, take care of the organism, remain in harmony with everything, it is only then that you can continue.
We did not understand that before.
We thought we had to keep our material house free for material contamination.
But how were we cheated?
If we had organised our lives according to the material existence, believe me, everything there would have experienced a different end and we would not have broken our heads.
We went upwards, sure, but were in disharmony with thousands of laws.
Look into your own destruction, Oteb ... and you will be able to decide for yourself how life was there.
I now tell you, nowhere in the world you were purely tuned, because every material tissue possesses a space.
And the soul will have to master that space.
Now do not neglect for a second, always stay in harmony with those who surround you and you will not elevate any new halt for yourself.
Eat and drink, but do not forget that opulence takes you back to the material, but these laws are conscious in your life!
Go, I am coming!’
I go downstairs.
Every step takes me crashing back to the material world, it is a cramp under my heart, now that I feel firm ground under my feet again.
My God, where do I now live?
Isn’t it amazing?
I sit down at the table weeping.
Erica must know of course what is the matter with me.
Karel looks at me as if he is seeing a ghost.
What is the matter, Frederik?
What is wrong with you?
‘My God, children, I am so happy’, I let slip.
And they believe it!
Then René comes.
I cannot see anything about him, only the eyes shine over this small space in which we live.
He is quiet, but when he says something, he whispers as if he has not yet been born.
Erica does not know what she should say, but her maternal inner life, her unity of course, which she once had with this life, drives her to the other side of the table and she kisses her boy.
‘What do you have in your face, little René, you look like an angel!’
He eats something, a little bit of everything, and leaves.
I stay for a while.
I wait a moment in order to give him the opportunity to get himself ready to be able to go further.
‘What are you up to, Frederik?
What have you being doing the past few days?’
‘I have been busy with the logbook and I am now getting the explanations.’
‘About everything, life and death, birth, madness, and so on.
And the answer for our being here.’
‘Are you serious, Frederik?’
‘I am serious, Karel.
I wept a moment ago from happiness.
Probably childish, but you will soon do it too.
I ask you one thing, Karel.
Just wait patiently.
Wait and see and do not ask anymore.’
‘What?!’ Erica wants to know, who comes back, ‘what must we wait for, Frederik?’
Karel tells her what I just said.
‘Is it true, Frederik?
May we know it?’
‘I would already like to tell you everything, but understand properly, Erica, Karel, that will be a pressure for his life.
Pretend as if you know nothing.
I will tell you from time to time what I receive.’
‘What are you actually doing, Frederik?’
‘René goes to sleep, Karel.
Into the sleep, which people in ancient Egypt knew, but which can be awakened by hypnosis.
As a result of that we get wisdom.
I showed you years ago what is possible.
You saw before that René could suddenly fall asleep.
Well, Karel, that sleep is still there!
That sleep now enables us to ask him questions.
He answers the questions which we ask him as soul and personality.
It is incredible, but soon you will experience it.
I will not leave you in uncertainty for too long.
Soon, Karel, your eyes will open and a fool will speak about supernatural matters, which no university knows the essence about.
And that is your René!
From whom we experienced so much trouble.
You will be amazed, Karel, when you know him now.
It is a revelation!
Our spiritual child prodigy stands before you!
Nothing can stop this, his life has awakened.
And in time, Karel, we will call all the faculties together and we will begin a fight for life and death.’
‘What do you wish to do, Frederik?’
‘We will call the faculties together, Erica.
Anyone who is in any way suitable for it, must be there, as an academic then.
Then you can ask questions about body and soul, all the illnesses, I believe that you know, the universe, Karel.
And from the answers you will establish that this is a supernatural wonder.
Do you know, Karel, Mozart and all those child prodigies have experienced something similar.
But they brought art!
Now we bring wisdom, but through René!’
‘Are you not flying too high, Frederik?’
‘Have I ever done that, Karel?
Was I not always capable of taking care of you?
Who flew off, I or you?
Who kicked my sacred matters to pieces?
‘Just stop talking about it, we know.’
‘Well, Karel, now no more distrust.
Now you must learn to accept.
However, I ask you not to let René notice anything.
If you are not capable of experiencing this life, as we got to know it, then bits and pieces will fall.
We must be able to continue to see this wonder as something of every day.
If you start to admire him, Karel, start to see him as a sacred horse, you will hear that from him.
Woe betide your life, Karel, if you now hear him talk.
He beats you.
But in order to prevent this, I ask you, just pretend there is nothing.
I will soon go upstairs and will come into contact again with the laws.
I will ask him whether you will may soon experience this questioning and answering.
I tell you, Karel, I didn't get an answer until now.
We have only started now.
When we are ready, then you will see the wonder.
That will not take long.
I will go to him every evening.’
‘And then he falls asleep, Frederik?’
‘Your big son, Erica, is a great wonder.
There you have it.
We must prevent those things from happening, Erica.
That disturbs like a hell!
You must try to remain normal.
I was able to experience so much in these years and I thank God for everything of course.
I was never wrong!
In Hans’ institution I wakened up, Karel.
It started there for me.
Those powers were awakened as a result of René’s inner life.
If I now tune into his life, he goes to sleep.
I only have to think and it is already that far.
In Egypt these powers reached awakening for René.
We made this trip for this purpose!
It were the high priests who gave him this mercy.
They would not have missed him for all the money in the world.’
‘Why did you not tell us all these things, Frederik?’
‘Should I have spilt the beans from a school which told me to keep quiet?
Would you have understood any of it?
Nothing, I tell you, nothing!
You would have beaten everything to a pulp.
Soon you will be able to know everything.
But the wonder happened there.
As a child he was already capable of looking into another world.
You will soon read it in the logbook.’
‘Did you keep that too, Frederik?’
‘I have everything, Erica.
Not a thought was lost.’
‘How can it be.
What kind of books are they?’
‘They are wonders, Erica.
Everything is in them, also your succumbing!’
‘Thank God, Frederik.
Just finish me off, just let me stand naked, this society may get to know me.
I no longer shrink from anything.
I have learned enough from experience.
Will you do that?’
‘I already told you before, Erica, that your own life records things!
Things are described about all of us.
I believe, it is a gift for this humanity.
It is described in such a way that people can make a play, a film of it.
And was our life not a film?
Not a fragment of truth, from which you create such things?
We were able to experience incredible scenes.
We actually got it for free!
But I tell you, I am grateful to God for this.
Now I understand, no, I know, that I had to start thinking at that moment.
It is also no coincidence anymore that we got to know each other on that boat.
I, who travelled the world as a vagabond was brought home in order to accept my task.
And you were that?
We have elevated a band, a circle, with our lives, for which we now live.
When I consider everything, they are all wonders.
We were not able to move a footstep or we experienced something.
And that is his life, we could continue through him.
When he still lived in you, Erica, it had already started.
Those things are recorded too, now the answers for them come.
Karel, you will be surprised!
It will be a revelation for your life.
However, I must ask you urgently, to not make a fuss about this.
That will spoil everything.
Do not go into anything.
Let us just lay foundations.
When he is in his state, you can no longer think outside his life.
He knows everything about us!
When he starts to talk, fine, but do not start about it yourself.
I believe, Karel, if you can be humble, even if you are faced with your son, you will have conquered that life immediately and you will get everything.
I would like to tell you, if we, or he talk about these things, see him then as another.
Just see something strange, sooner or later you will be faced with the laws anyway and you will have to accept him like that.
Then it will be easier for him.
We will not force anything then.
Disregard this little son.
You will soon have to accept that parents and children have to learn to think differently, because René places you before the universal love.
And then you are no longer a father and you, Erica, no longer a mother of his, but a brother, a sister, you now know that you have lived a thousand times.
René takes you back to the unity of this world, to a Father, to God and then you love everything which lives!
I would beg this of you!
Discard your parental task and feelings for a moment.
You will get masses in return!
You will not be able to get over it.
And if you can do that, you will certainly already feel, he will come closer and closer to you.
And now you will get to see his world, as love in your hand, your personality now lives under your heart and reaches pure awakening!
Is this not something to want to live for?
Millions of people, parents, would like to possess such a soul.’
‘We will do it, won’t we, Karel?’
‘Trying is possible.
Will it work, Frederik?’
‘This must, Karel!
If you cannot, I assure you, he will take off.
He will become older and not let himself be disturbed, you will definitely lose him then.
I know, Karel, that this is not so simple, but you must be able to do it!
And then what?
Is this so difficult?
If you get proof, what will you do then?
But you do not have that yet.
But before you get that you must be prepared to be able to receive this life.
It is this, that I wanted to ask you.
Do not go into anything, he will then approach you and now you will experience true friendship, love with your child, which is a master!
Really, Hans also laughed, but you will soon see that laughter smothered.’
‘Does Hans know about this?’
‘I spoke to him about it, in order to pull him out of trouble.
It will probably help, but I am afraid of it.
I rather think that it is becoming sharper.
You cannot escape yourself, Karel, and you cannot put a scarf on, if you have not yet earned that.
Hans is not strong.
Hans is empty inside, Hans has no order.
And that must be there if you wish to be ready for this life in everything.
I told him what I just told you.
He does not believe it, but you, Karel, will soon have your proof.
Hans laughs, but these are no longer things to smother, to be laughed at, this is deadly seriousness!
René’s life is a wonder for this humanity, for our sober West.
You will certainly believe that this century gives us those means in our hands.
This is connected with the development of this great unconscious mass, which now gets a nudge for spiritual awakening.
Hans does not see this, of course, he cannot yet think so far and so deep.
But, Karel, the wonder lives in our midst!
Hans laughs, yes, of course, because he is a big nobody for himself!
Did you not know this?
What does learning mean, if you perish from a bit of love?
Did you really think, Karel that this is being big?
Does it have meaning, if you lose your head?
Behave strangely and madly, because the happiness of this and the next life lives next to you?
Hans cannot even understand this happiness and stamps it to a powder as a result of this.
What doe he wish to understand of all of this, I ask you?
Nothing, it is emptiness!’
‘We will do our best, Frederik.’
‘I hope so, Erica, I hope so, otherwise misery will come again.’
‘What, Frederik, which misery?’
‘But I said a moment ago, Karel, that René is a master.
I do not believe that you will keep this life for long on this world; extraordinary souls live for a short time.
They finish their task and return to where they came from.
Only one or two reach old age, are given a long life, most of them give so much of themselves that they succumb from it.
If you go against his life and you cannot accept him, you will not bow your head, Karel, then I believe that he will leave you standing naked and will say:
‘Do you know what used to be said to the apostles?
“Go and follow Me!"
I am going!
And then you will have lost him!
Completely lost him!
Nothing more can be done about this, I know your child!’
‘Are you not exaggerating?’
‘In no way, I swear to you, Karel, I wished that I could convince you.
But that will come, just have patience.
I will go upstairs, he is calling me, soon we will continue.’
‘Does Hans also know that you have started?’
‘No, not that, Elsje does not know either.
What did she ask you, Erica?’
‘She wanted to know what you were writing, Frederik.
I told her one thing and another.
She wants to know all about it.’
‘Then just do that, take that for your account, because Elsje is a treasure.
Just believe that this child does not have an easy time.
Hans demands too much according to the daily laws!
He already got a beating from René too.’
‘When was that, Frederik?’
‘A few hours ago ... Karel.
He came to call me and they came here to eat.
Just let Erica tell you, I am going upstairs.
If you wish to know anything, I will hear from you.’
René is waiting for me.
He is sitting in front of the sketches which he made of Elsje and Erica.
‘What are they like, Frederik?’
‘Good, they are a very good likeness.’
‘Did Father ask anything?’
‘I told him one thing and another.’
‘Will he bow his learned head?’
‘I hope so.’
‘Do not hope, Frederik, he can do that, I will also give you that proof.
There is not much in Father which appeals to me; there is this!
The highest for himself, he can bow his head, no more is needed either.
But I will soon paint, this must be finished and it is only then that we will begin!’
He lies down and falls asleep.
I follow him.
The silence which I feel is sacred.
I am connected with worlds.
Rachi-Hadju will answer me and he will know how I have to act.
Oh, if Karel would only bow himself, I think, then everything will be okay.
Then nothing will come between us.
This would throw a black spot on this sacred unity, which cannot be removed.
I hope so, I will do everything for it.
I will ... But now that life already speaks and says:
‘You will achieve everything, Oteb, everything.
Do not worry anymore.
I will convince him and then he will also devote his life for the life after this.
We will make an adept of this life, we also need him!
Just like Hans, but he must get to know himself.
Know from me, that I know him!’
‘May I ask questions?’
‘We will continue.
I am already waiting.’
‘What I felt myself and recorded in the logbook, is it correct?’
‘Name me the laws.
Read all of them out to me.
And I will tell you whether mistakes have been made.’
I now read out everything to René.
Now that I come to the birth, he says:
Everything is correct, Frederik ...!
You see how necessary it is that I see your previous life?
You can just leave everything like that.
However, I will explain the laws to you, then the masks will fall.
All your research will take you back to the human personality as a soul.
You will see your own life there.
However, it matters which laws you wish to see treated.
All your questions take you back to that very first working for the soul, the moment before the material awakening.
All your thinking has freed your life from the material laws.
Between the third and the fourth month the soul reaches physical awakening, the mother now experiences herself and there is peace.
My organism experienced that pressure, I myself brought about that drive, because that evolution received material meaning.
Mother experienced depression.
It is she herself!
That was not me, her life and personality had to accept all of this.
Her unity with me brought her to a heightened state, working, the accepting of what she experienced during those months.
You drew her to acting and thinking in the right direction.
Science is no grasp for this, it is the soul, and it is given nothing.
Did you not know this?
My birth had a smooth and natural course.
My feeling for art, it was this conscious which placed me as a child before those material laws and you were faced with those phenomena.
However, more children do that. For me they were inner reactions, with spiritual inspiration, transformation of the feeling, materialisation of this awakening, it was physical.
I was able to explain the possibilities for this to you later.
When you released your life from hate, brute force, I came towards you.
I was not under your influence, but you were under mine.
I did not learn to think through your life, you did through mine!
Mother also had to accept these laws.
I experienced the main thing ... my life awakened.
Only later, at the age of seven, I experienced your influence and we reached unity.
The hour, Oteb, that I wanted to go upwards for my conscious, the awakening of my love for Marja – you look and you are shocked – were the moments of eternal knowledge, for me and for yourself.
Where does she live now?
Oh, do not worry, I will not do any stupid things.
I know where she lives, he does not!
He will wait and see!
I know where she lives, I awakened, for her, for me, for all of us!
Marja ... can you see me?
Do you know that I am here?
She also knows it!
She is also conscious of her thinking and feeling. Oteb, of course, she also came back to the earth for this purpose, because we would receive the consecration from there.
All of this is certain, because those who think that they possess everything, will have to make good what was once stolen from us!
Marja, soul of my soul, I am here!
Life of my life, can you see me?
Heart of my heart, do you want to live?
I will wait and see, it is only then that there will be happiness, it is only then that we will be open and we can continue!
You see, Oteb, I bought this cross for her!
I take her back to His life.
We may enter through Him!
Is this sleep different?
I kept sinking back into this conscious, because every crude-material reaction took me back to this inner self.
Is this so strange?
Every harsh word, every chastisement which I had to experience, brought me to this conscious and I was assured of my life, feeling and thinking.
Are children different?
Is each life not tuned into self-preservation?
This was mine!
I was strong, powerful in this!
No one could reach me in this.
I withdrew myself?
My soul watched over me as that other personality.
See me now as one: so you see, now the gifts emerge.
Every material chastisement gave me the spiritual weapon in my hands.
I wanted to dominate, of course, the abuse of your straightjackets beat me to pieces.
I myself did not want this life.
Then your letters came.
What kind of letters were they?
Were they not wonders?
Did they not give you any idea of full consciousness?
Had I learned your language?
I got that from you.
Through your thinking and our unity, Oteb, all these things came about.
But it was only later that there was astral influence.
Then I was attacked. Soon I had conquered this writing, but every phase for this awakening took me back to that personality, which came to me from afar.
From the universe to destroy something, that was not possible.
But it was my longing to live and die for Christ, as a result of this that consciousness got possession of my life for fifteen percent, the rest lived above the human world of thoughts, in which I was.
I smothered these thoughts from there, but did my body not need any driving force?
Are we not one with all the material systems?
Boeha was there, very certainly, but did you not see that he was afraid of my thinking?
Did you really think that if my life had known another and lower conscious, I would have been able to conquer those laws during my unity with this life?
I gave you an idea of what age I was there.
That boeha is still there, this life will wait as long, until no more dark thoughts are sent out in this world.
You and I are open to good and evil, everyone, those millions of boehas possess a world of their own, the world of the human being who tunes himself to lies and deception, to hatred, destruction, sullying all the sacred part in the human being, the Divine core!
Astral influence is therefore possible.
Those are the dark spheres in life beyond the material.
You will get to know the laws for it.
Then we reached unity, Oteb.
What was the tree of life like for your life?
You thought: I am in blossom.
And that was true!
That world gave you eternal reality.
You have experienced a world, which connects you with the reality of this conscious. It was the tree of life, Oteb, Isis, Ra, Ré, the Goddess!
The Pyramid, the Sphinx.
You saw the limit there for the human, material thinking.
There the material acting ends and you experienced dreams, realities, your soul released itself materially consciously from its shackles.
Going further is no longer possible, there you are faced with the occult laws, now you follow a school, which you cannot experience in this West.
A few lives are needed to bring this to awakening under the own powers.
Since you followed me, I elevated you into that world.
It was not your world, but it was mine.
Have you seen all those children to whom I belonged?
Ra, Ré, Oteb; if you had looked properly, you would have seen yourself, but those thoughts went too far for your conscious and you succumbed.
‘I accept everything, I know.’
‘These experiences brought your life to mine.
As a result of this you tuned your life to this awakening.
I was in it, because I came there in thousands of years.
I drew myself back into an independence, which existed, which lived in me, but for which I now live, or it would not have been possible.
Truly, I wanted to pick flowers from there for those who belong to me.
Qualities, Oteb, life, conscious!
I manifested myself materially according to my obtained conscious.
I wanted to take Mother and Father to my life.
The images which you received, and as a result of which you could follow my sitting down, my falling and getting up, was a chain of events transmitted to your life from my life.
I fell, of course, but I also stood up again and carried on.
As a result of this you got certainty.
Could you have experienced this certainty under your own power?
That was not possible.
This establishes that from that time the influence from my life came to you.
You got your powers back, your hypnotism is working of course, infallible, but brought to being conscious through my life.
Is this clear to you?’
‘I now understand everything, Rachi-Hadju, my life wants to thank you.’
‘But dear father, may I thank you for all your great cares?
You have the means for that, it is my possession!
I also have high expectations of Hans.
Now past accounts are settled.
Oh, I feel that you are trembling, but did he not give me the capital to be able to continue my studies?
Look into this existence and you will know him, also those who feed us and take care of our lives now.
Did that certainty enter you?
Did you expect any differently?
What you experienced, Oteb, is obtained possession.
What you wrote down, came from my life!
Everything about your life, that sees a foundation in mine, drove you to act in the name of the new birth.
If each life tunes itself into higher thinking and feeling, it attracts that higher becoming conscious.
Now you are in the possession of this personality, your becoming conscious; my father could not have done this!
Is this not true?
Imagine, can all life not be opened?
We were one, many souls are one, we for the spiritual, the universal laws, which no madman is capable of, even if that soul finds itself between material and spirit.
As a result of this you see the material, spiritual and the universal laws.
Of course, a flower does not possess more space than it has received through its material attunement.
But it does not need more conscious either!
Water, universe, hells and heavens, wherever you look and attune your life to, are independences for the own grade of life.
No space can separate itself from the own attunement, because this took place when God started His division and we received that independence there as human beings.
We must go back millions of years.
Millions of spaces, Oteb, do you wish to see your own Divine attunement in that truth, but your eternal self lives there!
Do you feel, I go into that, which are laws to you, problems.
What was touched good and clear by your life, I pass by.
Here and there I will give you a short explanation and you can be satisfied.
These are then the foundations for the building which we will give to the West.
Poverty and wealth, you know it, is the possession of the human being.
Do you not believe, now that you know that you have had thousands of lives, you have not even known that wealth?
Did you really think that a crown can give you that expansion?
Is this not universal justification?
Illnesses, troubles, Oteb, did people want that themselves?
It is the soul as a spiritual personality, which opened itself to all that misery, material and spiritual, and it went under.
Your life knew all of that, you did not need any help for this purpose.
Not only I, but also others showed you the correct path in that.
It was correct, to pick up those Divine gifts from your streetgutters and to show them to the people.
Churches build themselves up, not heavens!
You have to elevate them with your blood, for which your suffering and sorrow created the victorious feelings!
Is this not true?
And what can be said about all that other?
Could the academics move a footstep when they were faced with this mystery ?
Were they problems?
Freckle-face, Little Bramble, Gerrit, all the others could have told them and explained to them.
But do they know the language which they speak?
Is there connection, unity possible, when you do not know the soul?
Could you not have accepted in those few hours, that it is the weakness of personality, as a result of which they succumb?
I know what you could have learned for yourself in that, because of this you would awaken for me and for yourself!
I know all of that, because I experienced that unity with your soul!
Sometimes you saw and felt me, I acted for the other personality on the way, or do you wish to accept that he knew for what purpose he bought this cross?
Now he knows, now for the first time, Oteb, now!
I can see the beginning of your notes before me.
Leave it like that.
Anyone who reads them later, must open himself to the inner becoming conscious for this work.
No, do nothing to them, do not change it, leave it like that!
I am writing my own works!
Yours take the soul back to the opened, I expect it there, in order to show it the eternal true by means of the universes.
There was therefore always unity.
We remained spiritually connected, you call it telepathy!
Does the animal not possess this too?
I go past all of this, you are prepared, your trips and travelling belonged to it.
Everything of this world has meaning for your life and that of mine.
I draw from your life, you from mine!
Is there a difference?
We do one work, we carry out one task!
The fight with the academics has known no meaning.
But that will come soon.
You can give my father that certainty.
Meanwhile he will see me awakening.
Also she who gave birth to me!
Does it matter, Oteb, that we apply material meditation, when we do not experience the spiritual purification?
Did my mother not get a fright?
What did Rachi-Hadju mean by this?
Behave differently, act differently and you will heal, you will purify yourself.
Does all that purity mean something for the soul?
I created art, it was music, which I heard, received, by means of tralalalala ... Iala passed onto your life, a piece of good fortune for me to be able to conquer, because I met boeha as a result of this!
I played with his becoming conscious, but nevertheless had to accept that he could disturb and attack me.
Those who live on earth are open to it, also I.
Now that is over!
You received the supernatural through the letters already sent to your life at that time.
Of course, Oteb, all that information flowed towards you from the mad part.
However, when I walked on, climbed the stairs, Marja opened herself for my life and we could greet each other, conscious has also entered her life.
Later I will give you that proof.
However, my fights with the boys, Oteb, received the adult conscious as a result of this.
I gave myself a material power as a result of this, which experienced the spiritual inspiration directly from the material systems.
There was no more than that, I was also myself in this.
However, know, that will soon be clear to you, that there is astral possession, it exists!
Now the dark astral lives it up by means of the dark material, the earthly self which is open to evil, because unity has come into being for these wonders.
Now go to those who love you and be open to their questions.
I will meanwhile continue.
Do not forget the written, Oteb, tomorrow we will continue.
God has brought revelation to your life and peace and rest to the others, knowledge!
I will build a Temple by means of it for me and her!
Go, you live under my heart!’
I first read the article, written by Rachi-Hadju.
A trip to ancient Egypt. We stand before the Pyramid, the Sphinx, the Temples of Ra and Ré and Isis, but he takes western life back to society, the pure mentality for the awakening.
He writes about the feelers of the human being, which can be material, spiritual and universal, but calmly presents the religious emotional life with the oriental laws and opens the own obtained independence by means of this.
Somewhat deep, but very interesting, I believe, people are pleased with this.
You start to think as a result of this; it is an old man who experienced this word, provided it thoroughly with oversensitivity and finally guarantees unity amongst people.
He creates a new path for the western emotional life, the wonderful East and West are faced with a life, with Christ!
This strikes home, I know, but no one must know that it is he.
Karel and Erica want to know everything, they have now been shaken awake.
He already asks:
‘And, Frederik, did it work out, did you receive new material?
I cannot yet believe in it.’
‘Have patience, everything in its time, you cannot miss out any pieces.
Did your life not receive another development?
What were you like years ago?
What were you like, Karel, when I got to know you?
What was I myself like?
And what is the purpose of our life here?
We will continue.
If you know that you can continue your life, this is the stimulus for your inner tuning and the comings and goings for this society.
Indignation does not help you if you are faced with the things for the universe, which ask you to bow your head, you have to accept the life of the universe.
And those are laws, Karel, every thought represents a law and is universally deep.’
‘Did you get this from René?’
‘Precisely, my friend, from your mad son.’
‘And he says that every thought possesses universal depth?’
‘He represents that universe, Karel.
He lives in it.
He says that every thought will receive the universal laws of life, if we people do everything for it, make a consciousness of it.’
‘How can it be.
Where is he now?’
‘He is working on the portraits.’
‘And he is very normal, do you notice anything about him?’
‘Nothing, Karel ... it is a wonder.’
‘Do you understand it, Erica?’
‘Not I, my dear chap, but I could hit myself.
I cannot bear thinking about it.’
‘About everything, I could have experienced this event differently.
Good heavens, can you not feel what we missed?
Can you not understand that our lives stood still?
And then I also sold those beautiful garments.
I helped a beggar with them.
Can you ever forgive me for this, Frederik?’
‘René says: everything which you do to another, you do to yourself.
The human being who is in harmony with the eternal can never be crushed if he practices, gives, always keeps love in mind!’
‘And that comes from René, Frederik?’
‘Yes, Karel, this comes from his life to we older ones and we have to take our hat off to it.
It takes us to those laws.
It is only then that it brings happiness for yourself and for those with whom you are involved.
We people think that we live, but we are living dead.
René possesses supernatural conscious.
Ancient Egypt lies like an open rose in his hands, it lives under his heart.’
‘And does that mean that he lived there?’
‘You, Erica, Anna, Karel, I, everyone!
You have been with all those peoples of this world.’
‘But is this spiritualism?’
‘It has to do with it and is yet completely alone.’
‘But it looks like it, doesn’t it?’
‘René has nothing to do with spiritualism, Karel.
Compare it to theosophy.
He goes further and deeper, I believe, that will soon be clear to us.
People built up these teachings in ancient Egypt.
People started there. They are the teachings of the universe. He will explain the laws to us.’
‘It is amazing, Frederik, incomprehensible and unacceptable for an ordinary being.
I am very curious.
How can it be any different!’
We sit for a moment and experience that the wonder comes downstairs.
He shows Father and Mother the sketches.
Truly beautiful, they must admit, ripe too soon for this age.
René puts them down before him and also looks.
I already know now that we have called him.
He is open to these lives.
Erica carefully observes him.
She is sorry in every way about her actions and stupid behaviour.
Karel looks, he does not understand it, but he sees it.
He follows the life of his child.
Then this passes his lips:
‘May I ask you a few questions, René?’
There immediately comes: ‘Yes, of course, Father.’
Look, I think, this is going well, the life of Rachi-Hadju immediately opens itself.
Karel asks: ‘I hear from Frederik that you proclaim wisdom and possess gifts, which we do not yet know. Is it possible that your Mother and I will experience this?’
He looks at Karel and then at his mother.
Erica’s eyes are already weeping.
He stands up and puts his beautiful hands on her head.
This life is immediately ready and replies:
‘Of course, Father.
Just start about something.’
‘Start about something?’
‘You are asking me, aren’t you?
Start about something, it does not matter what and I will answer you.’
‘Good, then I would like to ask you whether you know what you used to be like?’
‘Yes, Father, I know that.
I can think back when I still lived in Mother.’
‘Is that the case?
Are these not own thoughts, because everyone would want that.
Many people have tried that, but experienced themselves.
Are those real experiences?
You feel what I mean.
Do not forget, René, we Western people know so little about all those things and matters.
What can you see then, if I may ask?’
‘Laws, Father, truth.
That is the same thing, but I understand everything.
I go back to the beginning of your own creation.
To the place where you started as soul and spirit.’
‘Where does that lie, René?’
‘Before God revealed himself, Father; the sources for this omniscience both lie and live there.’
‘And do you have certainty about this?’
Karel is already getting dizzy, Erica looks at her idol.
René stares at his sketches and waits and sees whether his father has something else to say.
There is no tension, but every word which passes his lips has been calculated.
What are you doing, Karel?
Now there comes:
‘How did that in you awaken, René?’
‘By means of grades of evolution, Father.’
‘Those of the conscious and unconscious madness.’
‘Conscious and unconscious madness, you say?
What does this mean?’
‘Clear enough, Father, or allow me to say Karel in preference ... if you approve of it?’
‘You may, my boy.
‘Conscious madness, Karel, is the insanity of your own action.
You are now rebellious in everything, your reaction in this life takes you to unconsciousness.
Every action places you before those laws.
Lying and cheating, lusts and violence, hatred, destruction, all those human qualities, which immediately place you before the justice of Golgotha, have attunement to conscious madness.
Then the sickly follows, the people who live with Hans, of which you see hundreds of grades, therefore types of illnesses, which are represented by men and women.
And the psychopathic, Karel, which I actually belonged to and yet was not, because my life was controlled by something unknown: the spiritual conscious.
And we see those laws again for universe and time, microcosmos and macrocosmos, for human being, animal, and Mother Nature.
Every thought is now a conscious law of life.
And we see them again for soul, spirit and material!?
I know the laws for them, Karel.’
Karel breaks out in a sweat.
Erica trembles from emotion.
Now Anna comes in and sits down next to Erica.
When we are busy for a moment the doorbell rings.
Hans and Elsje.
That could be good, now Hans can already get a lecture.
I am enjoying myself, I experience the very highest for my life.
My God, what did I do to deserve this.
We sit in a circle, the master gives an answer.
Elsje sees the wonder.
Elsje hangs on his lips and already lives in his heart.
They find the sketch a revelation.
Hans must accept that talents are revealing themselves here which are supernatural.
‘First tell Hans and Elsje what we were talking about, otherwise it will perhaps disrupt.’
Karel says to Hans:
‘I asked René a few questions a moment ago about a higher conscious and we received an answer.’
When Hans and Elsje know what René said, Hans is also dizzy.
Elsje is like a Madonna.
She is not off her rocker, but she is open and like a child.
‘You say, René, that there is conscious and unconscious madness.
Did God want that?’
Karel sends the fight to Hans, the prof can listen and bow to it.
René is ready and answers:
‘This has nothing to do with God.
When we people started our lives, God placed everything in our hands.’
‘You said a moment ago that this happened at the moment when God started His revelations.
How did our lives start then.
Can you see into there, do you also know those laws?’
‘I said a moment ago!’ the master continues; there is no doubt, no discussion possible.
His soul flashes immediately to the revealed time and he says: ‘That we as microcosmos conquered the macrocosmos was at the time when God manifested himself.
In the beginning of His Creation there was only life, light, feeling, fatherhood and motherhood, soul, spirit, which later became material.
You can also follow Buddha.
All the great ones who were able to experience an inner teaching for this humanity and who passed it on to these masses.
Then we are faced with a development, which has become the human, animal evolution.
God as Creator of heaven and earth, gave us everything at that moment, but by means of the planetary system.
All of that means that we people would follow His laws in attunement with His life.
But we did not do that.
We exceeded all those laws.
As a result of this we as people created good and evil.
The grades of madness now, which the soul has to experience, have reached consciousness as a result of those wrong deeds.
Now the human being sees himself placed before those laws and the human soul has to accept them.
We now see thousands of possibilities for the different spaces of this personality.
We also see those spaces again in the human existence and they are now material and spiritual!
We went through prehistoric ages, once got hold of a belief, but that was given to us by those who had brought the conscious spiritual personality in them to awakening.
We people went through madness, there is no soul who can say: ‘During those millions of years I remained free from every contamination, every wrong, disharmonic deed‚’ we people created evil.
God has nothing to do with this world, with all this evil.
He is still a God of love!
Where I lived was becoming conscious.
The other boys from my institution will never reach this height, although all of them have been elevated in life and death.
Anyone who loses the own conscious in this, will get another one.
And that other one is for the soul, with its thousands of worlds, which brought the own laws of existence, teachings of justice and the harmony created by God to inspiration as result of its evolution; for fatherhood and motherhood, light, life and love!
If you can feel this, then we will be faced with conscious and unconscious madness.
The people whom you call sick, are not sick for the universe.
They are evolving!
They are busy mastering another conscious, but succumbed before the material law!
They are not yet that far!
Soon they will return to another stage.
Peoples now have no meaning.
The soul which has to do with these lives, ensures that that soul gets another organism in order to finish and continue this life.
Lives now reach unity.
Thousands of laws of transition are to be found here, as a result of which the personality succumbs.
We now see homosexuality again.
This as a result of the conscious and unconscious mother.
The creating individual is also faced with it, because the natural grade of life for fatherhood and motherhood has not yet evolved itself, is unconscious.
What do you now know about your sickly grades of madness?
Is a religious maniac sickly conscious?
This is sickly conscious!
Because the soul wants to get to know its God and it searches above its material and spiritual capacities the universe for its life, thinking, feeling, fatherhood and motherhood, reincarnation, and it succumbs in this life universe, which is also possible for the conscious of spirit in your material existence, isn’t it?
Once she has succumbed she lives in disharmony with society and you lock her up.
This life experiences religion ... but now the inner, the spiritual laws, the physical, all the dark concepts as a result of which you have created your dictionary and she lives in them as soul!
The personality succumbs, but gets through one life the inner awakening, the grip in its own hands.
More lives are needed for this.
Millions of people are not yet that far.
The knowledge of the material system, of the cause of the disharmony, therefore the disturbance, which you see as thickening of the tissue and which you remove surgically, all of this gives you the possibility of taking the soul back to its harmonic thinking and feeling.
However, when the unconscious experiences fatherhood and motherhood, it is faced with its obtained personality for not knowing its organism and falls into decline.
I worked my way completely out of it, because in my life those laws reached the new and next birth.
The many people who had not reached that height, experience body after body and then come that far.
My life is conscious, I bring new thinking and feeling to attunement with the universal teachings of benevolence, which God gave, bestowed upon His children.’
The academics are beaten senseless, extremely unhappy!
There is no longer a madman talking here, but an expert in the laws.
René waits a moment and looks at them one by one.
Karel says nothing and Hans rubs his forehead.
However, then they also hear:
‘Is all of this nonsense?
Your whole society lives in madness.
Just consider it!
Who amongst those people is prepared for his task!
With money you buy yourself out of prison.
You throw death and decay at the life of God.
Wherever you look you see devastation and conscious destruction.
Those are material lunatics, conscious insanity, which has taken you from the Universal Harmony, but now marks the consciousness of this personality.
This is your attunement for the universe, for which you have elevated some science for yourself, which is completely material, since you do not yet know the laws for your inner life.
Where, I ask you, lies the Divine truth for all of this?
Where did you begin your life?
I tell you, you have been busy for hundreds of millions of years returning to that All-Source, the All-Existence, the Omniscience, the All-Soul, the All-Life, the All-Father and All-Mother, the All-light, for which we experienced the universe.
Every grade of life and law of life is now a human body.
We went through prehistoric times.
The souls of that time conquered the higher in themselves and went both further and higher.
The more universal solar systems, which all received a place in the universe, receive the soul as human being and the flower and planet life, so that all this life gets to know the Divine revelation and now takes part in that evolution.
We see Sun and Moon again in your human heart.
Did the systems not prove this?
How did you get the light in your eyes, did the smell and taste organs reveal themselves?
Do we people not have attunement to all of this?
Only now you would be able to say: I do what I want, but I assure you that you have to accept all those laws!
You go through fatherhood and motherhood to a higher becoming conscious.
I can assure you that the universal systems lie under my heart and come to evolution; since I opened myself to them.
As a result of this I got to know the laws of the Sphinx, the Pyramid, Ra, Ré and Isis!
That teaching takes you back to the God of all life and for your own existence.
What do you want?
Do you want to see the laws of Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Venus, the Moon, Sun, nebulae and stars explained?
I will soon be ready!
Then you can ask me questions.
Get yourself ready for it, if not then I will be prepared to leave your lives and to look for another audience.
I will knock you down, if you wish to know, however, I will not destroy you, because the life as a result of which I am here believes in the true resurrection of your personalities!
Is this a poem?
This is truth!
The supernatural will later be the conscious of every day, every hour, every minute, because your faculties will see the opened life.
Now there will no longer be any madmen, now unconscious and conscious beings will live on this earth, then the madmen will have started a new age, a new life, and people will know the soul as human being!
Did you really think that God was satisfied with your melancholy reading?
Did you really think that He is to blame for your decline as a human being?
You are Gods!
But it is up to your life to transform that justice into light and life, into that sacred love, which provided your intellectual self with the eternal principles!
Ask yourself, you will probably get an answer now, I am capable of giving it to you.
Know then, that enough pearls are cast before swine.
It is up to the human being to make the light shine, as a result of which death loses its mask!
And are you capable of that?
You do not have faith, and your knowledge lies in the streetgutters of your own neighbourhood, but you no longer see any supernatural justice, you have become impoverished qualities.
Your intellect blushes, your heart trembles, your eyes tremble and become hazy when the universe speaks to your lives.
It is fear, of losing this life!
I am going, I give you all of this to consider!
Woe betide you, if I would have to accept your straitjackets again!
I am going!’
He goes without granting any of us another glance, a word.
It takes a long time, a quarter of an hour seems an eternity.
Then the first word came and namely over Anna’s lips, when she says:
‘My God ... my God!
Did I not always know this?’
She dashes off.
Erica also goes.
The three of us sit there and do not have anything to say.
Karel breaks the silence and asks me:
‘And did you know this, Frederik?’
‘You can believe me or not, Karel, but at the birth I received proof of this.’
‘It is terrible ...
I surrender completely.
I do not know where it comes from.
What does it mean to you, Hans?’
‘I have no words.
Did he not read a book, Frederik?’
‘No, this has awakened of its own accord.
I already said before: Mozart brought art to the earth as a result of this, for this humanity.
All those child prodigies represented an own universe.
René is a spiritual child prodigy!
Is this not amazing?
You can get a lecture, Hans, Karel, we will soon begin!
To me it is a revelation, that he already does this consciously.’
‘Was this not that far then?’
‘I hear him talk like this for the first time.
I thought, that will probably take another few years, but you hear it yourself!
And if you are still inclined to call all of this nonsense, know then that we will continue.
Soon he will explain laws to you, Hans, and you will no longer stand blind before your patients.
Who knows what we will still get from our fool.’
Elsje and Erica come back.
Also René, above my expectations.
Hans looks at him as if he is a spirit.
René sits down opposite him and seems to have forgotten everything again.
Karel breaks the tension and asks:
‘Do you know now all the things you said there, René?’
‘I know everything, Father, Karel!’
‘And does that occur to you just like that?’
‘This is no longer an occurrence, this is knowledge.’
‘Since when do you know yourself that this is there?’
‘Before my birth was a fact, Karel, it was already there!’
‘What do you have to say, Hans?’
‘Nothing, I will think about it.’
Elsje sees a new life, something the laws of which she does not yet know, but interprets a gleam of hope and happiness as a result of her own art.
Suddenly René says that he is going to sleep and disappears again before our eyes.
I know why he would come back, the fire of his life no longer wishes any uncertainty, he came back to beat the academics completely senseless.
Now he feels that they have nothing more to ask and to think anyway, he feels the time is wasted.
Erica also asks him to stay a while, but he says:
‘Mother, I feel tired, let me rest.
Will you, Mother?’
‘Go, my boy, just go.’
Then we sit alone, the master has gone.
‘One thing, Hans, I have got to know my son.
I already get a fright when he calls me ‘Father’.
I find that ‘Karel’ a bit calmer.
Did you hear, Hans, that he uses the informal and formal form of address?
It is a tumble for me.
A pity, Frederik, this has escaped the logbook.
A pity, this is gone, it was written for it ... don’t you think, Mother?’
I say: ‘Nothing has gone, Karel, I also have this.’
‘What do you have?
Do you mean to say that you took this down in shorthand?
Where then, you were sitting there and did nothing.’
‘I already received this a few days ago.
What you heard was said differently, but I have the main idea.
This will also come in the logbook, you will encounter it literally.
And it is only then that you will know how amazing everything is.’
Do you still not know!
Must we frustrate Frederik and him any longer with our wisdom?
Do you still think that this is a madman?
Then you are very awkward.
If a person was looking at these things in a sober-minded way, it would be me.
I know very well, Hans, that this does not turn our universities upside down, but this could perhaps be the heightened conscious for which you live.
If I have understood properly what it is about, Hans, then we are faced with a layman who gives lectures.
Or must we throw everything overboard from Buddha and those other great people which he spoke about!
And does this, for which he knows the laws, as he says, not have a supernatural conscious?
If you ask me, Hans, he has exceeded those past great people.
If you listened well, this will no longer be nonsense.
Did you hear how his voice changed?
His face became older and older, and then the formal and informal forms of address started, which my child is not familiar with, does not know.
That is no longer my boy.
As long as this goes well.
As long as a new form of madness does not lie behind this.
What do you think about it, Hans?’
‘Very probable, but I will not go into it.
I have had enough beatings, Frederik knows it, I believe him and I believe René, but if you were to ask me for an explanation, I would say: I will wait, I do not know it.
I cannot judge that.
It is possible that a new phenomenon of madness is occurring here.
It could be, but I do not know this.
Yet it is possible!’
Now tension comes!
‘You are ill-mannered boors.
Do you wish to call this madness too?
Do you mean to say that my child is still mad?
Must you be put out the door again, Hans?’
‘God preserve me, Erica, I do not mean it like that.’
‘Yes, I know that.
I experienced that more than once, but you will not get me that far again anyway.
I will vouch for him and I will now give my life for my child.
You can get lost with your wisdom, as far as I am concerned.
Just give me this.
Did you think that you could keep on murdering everything with your knowledge?
Do you mean to say, Hans, that you understand anything about yourself and your patients?
Does your learning still have value when you are faced with all of this?
What actually inspires people to make you a prof.
Now you are standing naked here!
René has already pulled off your mask.
I do not want anything, but now watch out, be careful, Hans, I can no longer be stopped.
I recently fell for your stupid talk, now you not get me that far.
Do you wish to finish this off?
Is my son soon a proud fool?
I will resist this.
You can think about it as much as you like, Hans, and you too, Karel, but now we wish to see your thoughts openly.
I tell you, I will vouch for my child.
Frederik is right!
Frederik was alone all those years, you have thrown enough spanners in the works, destroyed enough, sullied his life.
It was you, Hans, who locked Frederik in the farm.
If you had not influenced Karel, then it would never have happened.
I sell a garment worth ten thousand guilders for one guilder and forty cents as a result of your stupid talk.
Is this still not enough?
Only as a result of your drivel in space?
Because you are learned?
Realise well that this does not concern my boy, but the sacred truth.
Is this stupid talk?
Is this a fool?
Do you still not know it?
Your stupid science makes you stone-dead.
Your stupid pride, your presumption that you know something, beats you to the ground.
Masks off, is it not, Frederik?
I have borne this child.
I know what René experienced.
You have not understood this illness.
You keep hitting God in the face and you search again for a chance to break this to pieces.
Are you trying to deceive me that this is yet another form of madness?’
‘You are behaving as if I spoke those words, Erica.’
‘You keep mixing up our lives, Hans.
You always have something new, but now you will keep your hands off this.
I will deal with Karel later.
You will no longer interfere with my child or you will leave the house again.
It is my absolute right to watch over René.
Frederik had to do it alone all those years.
I do not wish to lose this harmony again.
You academics crushed my child to death for long enough.
You make dung out of gold!
René is a child prodigy and you will not take that away from me again.
If he cannot prove that he is gifted, you will be proved right.
I no longer approve of destroying everything beforehand!
You can just keep quiet.
However , I tell you, I no longer believe in your science.
You are talking nonsense, you are powerless and you cannot deal with that.
You are wretches!’
‘Just listen to my wife, also gifted.’
‘If you think, Karel, that you can mock all of this any longer, while deadly seriousness has been given to you here, I will be gone tomorrow with René, Anna and Frederik.
Then just keep your mocking and your learning, we will look for it elsewhere.
I will not let my child be destroyed by you, I have paid my dues.
‘Frederik, you can count on me!
I will no longer succumb!
I have suffered enough.
I no longer dared to look you in the eye, but now I will prove to you that I can fight, this is sacred to me!
‘What was it like then, Karel?
Have you forgotten that again?
Have you forgotten your begging?
There you are now.
They are big men, they come to bring their gifts back.
They throw gold cigarette cases in the fire because they are afraid that they are bewitched.
Do not make me laugh, if it was not so tragic.
You brought me that far that I sullied silk garments worth ten thousand guilders.
You do not see that a human being has a heart, you are merciless.
My garments had the contagious disease.
You are fools!
You are no longer normal.
Is this not enough?
How can it be, I cannot believe in it now and yet I destroyed all those beautiful things.
You brought people that far.
And how did Frederik behave?
Yes, Karel, I will go!
Yes, Karel, I will do what you wish!
Hurt Frederik one more time with one of your filthy thoughts?
I will be capable of murdering you.
You are gluttons, but you do not even earn your living.
You curse the life of this world.
You hold back human development!
We women have no university intellect?
We will prove that to you!
You can get lost as far as I am concerned.
Do you know it?
Do you not yet know it?
One word about Frederik and René and I will set your house on fire, Karel!
One word about René, Hans, and you will be thrown out the door again, but otherwise, I will kick you out!
You will stop playing with hearts, those are Divine matters!
Yes, Elsje, they almost murdered me.
They called me a show-off, a hysterical woman.
I became a university object.
Because they do not know you are talked about in the street.
Watch out, child, or you will also be talked about.
Learned men are like cows, but these learned men trample the lush grass of Our Lord, they stand on top of it and do not see it.
They analyse the most sacred matters.
If you talk about your love they seek a scientific explanation for it.
A kiss on their heart is unscientific.
A kiss from which they get blisters is considered scientifically impossible.
They never know!
And then you are destroyed.
You have now become the interaction of animal and human ingenuity.
Is that not wonderful?
When you give birth to their own flesh and blood, they do not believe it!
They stand next to you and declare you mad.
They make a laboratory issue of your child, an obstacle and now look at your life and your motherhood through scientific glasses.
If your blood flows they do not yet believe that you experience something supernatural, that has nothing to do with it!
I tell you, Elsje: watch out or people will also destroy you.
You should be ashamed, big men, you are children, if it was not so dangerous, because family ties do not mean a thing to you.
However, we fight for that, we live for that, we now devote our lives to that!
I tell you, you keep your hands off René!
In my house that is over, but just stay away!’
‘We can make do with this, Hans.
Erica is right!’ Karel utters.
‘I flatly refuse to finish off my child.
You and I are guilty!
It was us, Hans.
We beat Frederik and now start again.
Erica is right!
We have pulled Frederik’s heart from his ribs.
I will go with you, Erica.
Frederik, you can count on me.
I will no longer be a part of human destruction.
I will go with you, Erica.
I will go with you ... I love René.
I will no longer leave you alone, I ...!’
I could not have dreamt that this would happen.
His head is off, his mask has fallen, the coarsest mask for this world.
Another monster down the drain.
What I now experience is amazingly natural.
Karel has awakened.
Karel, what a nice person you are now.
What a man you have now become.
Erica takes his head in her hands and looks her big Karel in the eye.
She says in a pure ecstasy to his life, heart and soul:
‘I prefer to see you like that, dear Karel!
I am now proud of you.
Here, here, here, take that, Karel.
This is what we women want to possess, the rest is just imitation.
I already waited years for this, Karel.
Now I have it!
My God, how happy I am.
This is love!
This is sacred!
This is Divine happiness!
My child brought it to us, oh, Karel, never forget it again!
We are going to start a new life.
Anyone who wants to go with us will be happy!
Erica pulls Karel from the chair and up the stairs.
Upstairs we hear stumbling and then talking.
We understand every word.
Parents ask their child for forgiveness.
Parents and child embrace each other from happiness and love in universal unity.
We hear sobbing, adults fall to their knees.
Hans fights for his own life, but cannot do it.
He does not yet know where he should start.
I see that people have to show their colours this evening.
Hans cannot do that yet.
Hans hides behind a new mask.
Elsje is as white as a sheet.
I know what is going on in this life.
Warmth flows from her life to me.
Poor child, all the things you have to experience.
Hans has been consciously beaten, exasperatingly sure!
He deals with it, but there is a block under his heart and that is strangling him.
His shoulders are bent, he seems broken.
And a queen sits there, who is waiting, who is faced with empty hands, who possesses a madman .
And again I am faced with the power of René, who comes downstairs with Karel and Erica, as if he knows that something still has to be said, if we do not wish to be left with broken pieces.
He already begins.
My dear Hans, why must there be anxiety in hearts which wish for peace and long for happiness?
Go and sit down there, Karel.
You there, Erica.
Anna has her place back, I see.
Listen, I will soon give all your friends, therefore the academics, the chance to test me.
Make sure that there is a theologian and an astronomer amongst them.
You as psychologist and psychiatrist with Dr Lent is sufficient.
You can also call on other friends, who used to come here.
I am okay with everything.
I will then give you the proof.
I believe that it is best that this takes place in your house.
You can also come here.
What do you think, Mother, what do you want?’
‘I want to have the honour, René!’
‘Good, that is agreed, we will meet here.
I will tell you when.
You will not talk to anyone about it for the time being, I must prepare myself.
Just wait patiently.
I do not want this friendship to perish.
I do not want to lose you.
But make sure yourselves that there is harmony, feel some love for each other, I beg you!
I know, I am like a child up against science.
But Frederik knows me, I know what I am doing.
What can I do?
I am opened.
Frederik could have given you that wisdom, but you break all supernatural matters to pieces.
I am no longer a child, no less than Elsje is, we are old!
We are a new generation.
We are men and women who fight for the happiness of this world.
You could not do that.
We came to this earth for this.
We no longer want any war, either in our own house, or with a sister or brother, or against other peoples!
Do you hear that?
We refuse to kill!
We love everything which lives.
We can do that, because our lives are opened to all the laws!
The older generation of this world knows only misery.
You make visible dung out of gold!
Of the most sacred love, worldly rottenness!
We no longer accept that, those times are over!
I am the first for this world, for this cold, sober West, to place this happiness in your hearts.
This generation brings unity amongst the peoples, love and frankness, we want to serve as young people!
We bring higher consciousness.
With me other child prodigies will come, many will come, but you are possessed by devils!
You have raped the laws of God!
You sullied the laws for your happy life!
Kicked Divine justice into the streetgutters.
We take the reins in hand and no longer let ourselves be taken to the slaughter!
Believe me, Elsje, we are children of one Father!
However, we force you to start another and better life.
Heads will be bowed.
You have made whoring out of supernatural happiness and love!
Temples are harems to you, God is equal to an animal.
But we no longer accept that!
The laws have been contaminated for long enough, what do you want?
Away with this misery, out the door.
We now take those laws in our hands.
God gave us intellect, human thinking, you only left a flow of blood behind, hate, passion and violence.
Breaking hearts, you are good at that, this society, for which you live and die!
No one can stop us, because we bring eternal light.
We will hang you if it has to be done. All of this humanity calls for higher conscious, for knowledge!
If you cannot do it, know then that you are capable of driving a bullet through your head, however, we are prepared.
Then just build your own scaffold, we will conquer.
Accept your temporary damnation, God did not want it!
We call to you: reach awakening.
You do not know us, but we know everyone!
We are open to all life!
We carry this happiness in our hearts!
What do you hope to achieve with science, if you lose your human character?
Is this progress?
Do you wish to administer justice and sully Christ?
Now a new age begins, a new life.
Do you think that you can heal humanity even longer by means of poison?
Heal yourself first!
You left stench behind, the rottenness of your lives!
Die a thousand deaths for this, long to be burnt at the stake, for Christ’s Age, for yourself, for good and evil!
Take the evil to the God of all life and you will be worth possessing your own life!
Now the Heavens are open to you!
Can you see these academics, I thought.
They are beaten!
They have received a fatal stab, which pierced their lives straight from the universe.
What I may experience is great!
René challenges us one by one, it is still not enough.
‘If you do not understand this happiness, I will take my laws in my hands, happiness is still on your side.
None of you can beat me, the higher laws live under my heart, I am open and conscious; you are sleeping!
I am a child of God and you do not need to doubt the reckoning of your own life.
It is the cross of Christ and I bow to that.
You still cannot do it!’
The Adonis disappears again, we are paralyzed, also Hans and Karel.
Elsje does not succumb, but is like a flower full of strength and vitality and completely open.
She spreads her beauty and gives all of us her generous soul.
She has respect for the young Apostle, you can see it on her.
Her life is conscious, she does not fall asleep.
What an evening, the hours we experienced.
Hans and Elsje go home.
Erica and Karel walk a bit with them, Erica devours Elsje; Hans and Karel try to bow their heads?
It is very likely that Karel is capable of it, I am afraid for Hans.
I am sitting alone on stage, a new time is approaching.
The youth is awakening!
And that youth is inspired by Christ, by His life!
I am far from this world and all the misery, when I hear stumbling and Erica and Karel are standing in front of me.
‘Is this a wonder, Frederik?
I assure you, you can now count on me.
Hans is rebellious, we will not get him so quickly, I cannot bear thinking about it.
However, if he does not want it, it is okay as well, that is up to him to decide.
He cannot bow his head and I can see where learning brings you if you let the human part in your heart become impoverished.
He is a poor dog!
Science and healthy thinking work on your love for life, it takes you back to God, Frederik.
You will be proved right in everything!
Hans’ lips are sealed.
It will also be his misfortune, if you ask me.
None of us can help him.
I am born again and stand next to you.
If you can forgive me for everything, Frederik, you will now have pleasure from that.’
‘Keep this happiness in your hands, Karel.
Do not let it slip away again and do not go too far ahead and try to see yourself, if must be.’
‘Poor Elsje!’ Erica utters, ‘what will become of this dear child?
I think it is terrible, when I see her next to Hans, I tremble.
It was so beautiful and it can be so, even if Hans is so old, but now this?
It is breaking his life, he is to blame for the misfortune which I foresee.
No horse could endure this.
He is destroying Elsje’s life.
It is an illness, Karel, do you not think so as well?’
‘I no longer know him.
It is a mystery to me, but he is throwing himself away.
Where has all that science gone?
He possesses everything, can be satisfied and does not understand it.
What wretches we people are.
But did you see René’s eyes, Frederik?’
René once said: happiness is more difficult to experience than suffering and sorrow.
You are better to possess misery than when you do not understand your happiness.
And that is true, Karel, by means of misery you cannot destroy everything, but you can by means of happiness.
Wisdom from your mad son.’
We talk for a bit, but then we also go upstairs.
I also write in the logbook:
A thunderstorm of unprecedented power is approaching our life, which cannot be avoided.
All of this is of such a serious nature that it will fling you down.
You can do nothing, because it cannot be seen.
You live under it and you are in its midst and you cannot see it.
It is therefore much worse than a material, audible storm, this is for the soul and your spirit.
It is a mean cad?
I do not even dare to say that.
It is something very different!
It is actually nothing human anymore.
And yet, I would say, it lives under your heart, you are born by it, but there is no grip to be seen.
If you are open to it, it blows your life away.
Anyone who tunes into it, I now believe, will be destroyed!
He will be wrenched from his human joints!
It takes place before your eyes and you yourself are actually far out of it!
I have never experienced something like it before, truly I have not, it is so frightening.
It is like the lightning, it haunts you and you yourself are the rattling, you do not even see the ghost.
Yet you are faced with it and you have to accept this.
It is horror, misery!
What you do not want, you do precisely!
What you longed for you received and you do not want it!
What you see is not real and you still stand looking at it.
It lives in you and you have lost it!
It approaches you inevitably and you still think that it is not for you?
Ugh, you could catch ague from it, but count me out.
I think that it will become a chaos.
People will beat the human being to pulp and driftwood.
It is just like Divine justice, the infallibility of which we human beings know as a result of death, but which is now life and shows yet other masks, as I see and have to accept.
But then you stand again!
What do you hope to achieve?
René is a great wonder and we have conquered Karel.
For now and for ever!
Anna has become fifteen years younger and Erica has become a special figure, a woman who now knows what she wants and possesses a clear intellect.
Every word is now worthwhile being spoken, it used to be drivel, meaningless twaddle, poverty, emptiness.
Anna did not say a word, but still waters sometimes have universal depth, often hide abundant natural beauty!
Know, my child, that you do not get anything for free in this life!
You have to fight for happiness and knowledge.
If you succumb, I will also give in, my trust in you is so great.
Did you know this?
You alone can take care of Hans?
I do not believe it, because then he would have understood all that beauty of yours!
He is faced with your tremendously beautiful little castle and does not see it anymore.
Your charming appearance is like a cloak – there is no fun more in it for him, because his soul is possessed.
We will do everything, Elsje, everything to save him!
As you see you have already received a place in the diary, because you accepted your task, your certainty goes higher and higher, but your little soul is weeping, which we can hear here.
I believe that René can listen to the weeping of your soul, we parents have not yet got as far as tuning our lives into that, but the nature of your life and personality waves to us every day and then you feel trouble!
Will you be strong, dear?
René spoke like a young god.
People think that it is exaggerated, but I say it from the bottom of my heart.
It is like that!
You must see him and hear him, it is only then that you know that I am right and do not say anything too much.
Do not forget that all of this comes to us from his life.
He did not study for it, did not read about it, it is as pure as crystal and came from the universe to us, human, but scandalously poor little personalities.
It was like burning fire, but now for your soul.
It is supernatural eloquence, you sit at the feet of a master as it were, the existence of whom you know about, but have never been able to believe in.
Yet it is the sacred truth, now wonders occur; which the wonderful East once knew, now lives in our little country ... we possess an initiate!
And many people will soon have to accept that he is initiated.
He is like balsam for your soul, he takes care of you as it should be done, but now no longer makes any stinking wounds, that time is over.
He carefully takes off the bandage, but then it happens and you see before your eyes that the wounds close, yes, that can happen instantly, these powers are so supernatural, the laws of which he knows.
It is Divine singing!
This soul comes from a glorious family, a caste of priests, which gave personality to Ra and Ré and who knew the Gods.
They were occupied with them every day and sat with them at the table.
You will not believe it, but we were also allowed to sit at the table and were served up our spices.
I lapped up this pudding and it is meat and drink to Karel and Erica, it tastes so good!
That has taken a long time, but now they see what they did not want all those years was so good for their material and spiritual little tent, in which they live as the personality and carry out the everyday things and turn them into deeds!
I tell you, Erica seems twenty-four, she has changed so much!
Our pig-like Karel, Karel with his farm, his ditches, his fickle character, his bragging, his domination in everything, lay on his knees and asked his son for forgiveness.
Should a father not do that?
Should a father continue to finish off his child?
Is this showing off?
I prefer to see it like this!
Karel became a miracle at that moment!
I was shocked by it.
I saw that his eyes changed like childlike heavens and that he received supernatural becoming conscious, which are the forget-me-nots, the lilies-of-the-valley and the daisies for Erica’s life, which were now scattered above their heads and came to fall from the sky just like that, from which we, who were present, wove sandals, which we put in Karel and her hands, it was such a great, tremendously great happiness, to be able to see and experience this.
Karel and Erica now experience an Ascension, such as they have never made before.
This takes them to the even higher regions which exist and the gates of which René opens and possesses the keys for!
Do you call this sentimentality?
We do not!
Anyone who says that is not yet ready; but in those hearts the longing still lives to be able to experience it, every child of God wants to possess it.
It is as a result of this that people search for it in this way.
They will not find it, because they do nothing for it!
You should have seen Karel, what a beautiful man he is now.
His broad back is prepared to carry Erica and all of us for hours, weeks, months, years.
It is a strength which you only see represented by the elemental laws, but then you usually come home with a wet suit.
Now Karel has become rain and wind; a hurricane, a primal power, so sacred, so great, so wonderful!
Oh, how beautiful people are, if you see them like this!
It cannot be any different, you are only human.
Now a father and mother are like gold from heaven.
I would want to and be able to see them as Sun and Moon, bodies which have played a wonderful role for the universe and made everything turn so to speak and from which everything started, because God created them like that.
They are now luminous, bearing light, they no longer believe in a kiss, they sink under their kiss into an inexplicable feeling, which is so deep and true and lets itself be felt, as if you touch the core of life at that moment!
And you see yourself with your eyes open, because now you want to see everything and you no longer think of hoodwinking.
They are Divine gifts!
God’s required Omnipotence ...
Yes, it goes so far that you become omniscient!
And I saw that wonder, I experienced it, I underwent it and had to admit again that I also long for it!
Now Karel and Erica had to show their colours, accept the wonder that their child, which was first mad, now possesses contact with the Father in heaven!
I already said, Elsje is different, she does not need to show her colours, because she possesses so much feeling that it goes of its own accord for her, she has it!
And Anna has already known it for so long!
We wink at each other and kiss each other in thoughts, but they are already centuries old.
It is going well like this.
Not a word passes our lips, that would just disturb this moment, this silence which is universal.
And we live off this, we live by means of this, we are opened by means of this.
But I am afraid!
Words pass René’s lips which shake previous lives awake.
Such a word pounds away at the human heart and places you before the invisible facts, phenomena, which I spoke about a moment ago.
And those invisible things have material meaning, they are there and they are not there!
They are born, but you do not know who the mother is.
And yet that mother must be there.
The fertilization has taken place!
And that fertilization, I feel, lies centuries and centuries back, but came about by means of human beings.
And that state now wants to be born!
Do you understand this?
I am afraid of it, it is a mask which I do not yet know and which the rest of the millions of people of this world have no understanding of and do not believe in either!
You could compare it to illness, poverty, miserable matters, which destroy the life of a human being and which you can do nothing about, the laws for this are so infallible!
These so unprecedented things have to do with questions such as why one person is rich and another has nothing to eat!
Why God can approve that one person has everything and the other child is beaten by infection!
Why one child possesses light in its eyes and the other is struck by blindness!
Just carry on!
You must search for it there.
That lies here, this lives in what I feel and which wants to be born poor around us and in us, which you would now prefer to murder, you get such a feeling, it is such a fear, which creeps to your throat and uses the knife from behind in order to stab you to death, is it not horrible?
I must honestly admit, I am afraid of this.
It is no longer human, it is as if it makes your blood clot, or people suck out your life breath, take the life from the space in which you live, so that you decide and are driven to mad things, because you no longer see a solution for yourself.
And then you are powerless?
No one can help you.
And that lives here, in our house!
Sometimes you feel it very sharply, sometimes it is gone.
But if you follow it, you can see it somewhere else.
It comes and it goes, it sits with you at the table and it lies outside in the street.
If you want to crush its head, it is not there, but it is up in a tree and is laughing at you.
You have it in your hands to put a noose around it, you feel that it hangs, that you have killed it, a moment later you hear the mean and sarcastic laughing, which scares you to death and makes you crawl under the blankets, but you lie awake half the night from it.
You think that it is poison, but it is not that, you do not drink tea poured by other hands, you think that you see the evil, the destruction, everywhere, it is like a figure, but without clothes, naked, that life stands completely naked before you, as you now think.
Look properly, it is a horrible mask!
Oh, did I get you?
Did I finally get you?
Now you feel hands around your neck and you experience such a horrible dream.
They want to strangle you and yet nothing happens!
Ugh, how afraid I am!
I see Hans like this ... because all of this follows him, he sees himself going gaga?
If only that was true, it is much worse.
If you see him eating, Elsje says, it is as if he is eating poison.
If he drinks, he holds the tea or whatever it is in the light, because he thinks that people want to poison him again.
Oh, Hans, how you are practising witchcraft.
And that is an academic?
This is a disaster.
However, I throw everything off me, I probably see it too exaggerated and that is not good either.
However, you can feel it!
I want to sleep, I want to prepare myself for the hours which I will receive from my master.
I will stick to wisdom.
My horse runs fast and sure.
As long as there is no messing about now, cutting through muscles or giving injections.
I know that messing about by those racing tracks all too well, it also once cost me a thousand guilders, only as a result of swindling, envy and deception.
My horse is called René; it is Rachi-Hadju, who chases my life to a material end, where I will see the source of life!
And this horse always wins, because it was born for this century!
I also say: eloquence is good, but you must not use any words for it, only then you start to listen!
My eyes fall shut, but my soul remains awake and has become watchful.
Come on, Frederik, go to the end!
The wise men from the East come closer and closer to our lives.
Did you see that little star, Frederik?
That is just coming up!
Who will discover this new life?
Who will place it before the footlight of the world?
That human being wears the silver-white sandals!