To the astral world
When I awoke, I wondered where I was.
After thinking for a while, I remembered what I had experienced.
I was free, could go where I wanted and would now finally see people.
I jumped up from the place where I had gone to sleep and started my journey.
I would soon meet them.
Oh, how happy I felt.
I wanted to go to the inhabited world, where they lived, the ones who had helped me to get here.
However, I did not want to have anything to do with them, but I only wanted to know who had plunged me into my misery and how demonic they were.
I had already felt and experienced their powers, now I would also get to know them.
I walked onwards, continually onwards, but there seemed to be no end.
How far had I wandered off from the inhabited world?
The world in which I now found myself was still that empty world.
No animal, plant or human being, nothing else but the silence of death.
But it would come, for sure.
I therefore walked on and in feeling it seemed that I had not walked for hours but weeks.
Would there be no end to it?
What would I have to experience now?
Yet I continued, further and further.
Soon I would see people and have fun.
I longed for it.
How long had I been alone?
First in my cell and then in this horror.
However, now I could go further, nothing kept me back anymore.
Further, continually further, it would come soon.
However, I felt myself becoming depressed that it was taking so long and it was so far away.
But I gathered my every strength and stepped on to the land with many inhabitants and with its amusement.
Yet no change seemed willing to come.
Was I still not free yet?
Did a new horror await me?
Had I still not suffered enough then?
Was there no end?
Had they also deceived me about that?
I lived, I could move and yet I could not obtain what I wanted to possess.
Again I asked myself thousands of questions and got angry.
No, it was not that, I had to go even further, I was still not at the end.
After having rest I set off again, saw all around me, above and below me, but there was no change.
I remained alone with that awful deathly silence, which I had felt at my grave.
I was still in this empty world, but I had to and wanted to get out of it.
Away as soon as possible, to people and where there was movement.
I would still go crazy if this did not come to an end.
After having walked for a long time, I sat down again in order to rest.
Oh, oh, how terrible this life is, how incomprehensible, how inhuman, all of this shocked me deeply.
How could God approve of this?
I had already felt respect for Him, but now my good intentions were smothered again.
I started to hate and to curse again.
Is there no mercy?
God does not damn, but is this not damnation?
Am I busy being damned?
I said this to myself and immediately commanded myself to be calm.
I had to wait, be calm and carry on.
However, I had very probably already walked for weeks and there was still no end.
I had already rest three, four times and I still found myself in this empty world.
I set off with the last strength which I had within me.
Now I quickened my pace and ran towards the unknown, but there was still no change and I collapsed exhausted and fell asleep for the umpteenth time.
I did not know how long I had slept, but I still remembered my situation.
I set off again, because I now felt rested.
However, there appeared to be no end.
I sought for ways to escape from this dreadful situation, but how?
I could not find anything and I screamed and cursed like madman.
I suddenly felt exhausted.
My throat closed, I was tormented by hunger and thirst and many other things.
Suppressed by this terrible suffering, I still set off again, but after a few steps I collapsed again and fell into a swoon.
I awakened again and went on my way.
After having walked for a while, I started to have doubts again.
Now I tried to find my earthly body again, because I thought that had to look for the fault within myself.
I should most certainly not have passed over.
However, no matter how I searched, felt and touched, my earthly garment appeared impossible to find.
Then I would just have to carry on and now I would try to remain quiet and calm.
I had been travelling for an eternity and there was still no change.
Then I put my hands together and wanted to see if I could strangle myself, I would go mad like this.
However, that was not even possible, because when I thought of myself, my hands refused and rebounded from me.
I could not reach myself.
In this way I discovered that I could not destroy myself.
I passed over into what I thought, but I could not do anything to myself.
I was life and that life could not be destroyed.
The only thing I felt was a slight dizziness.
This was because I brought myself into disharmony.
What should I do now?
Was I dreaming?
Did I live in eternity?
Where was I?
Would I have to remain in this empty space?
Where was the end, who could help me?
Here there were neither people nor animals, only me and I did not get an answer to anything.
Yet after thinking for a long time I resumed my journey.
In my feeling it seemed as if years had already passed.
After having walked for a while I lay down again for a rest.
I must have slept again, because then I felt refreshed and enthusiastic.
It was peculiar that I always felt so fresh after that sleep.
I set off again and after walking for a while I thought that I felt a light wind, or was I imagining this?
Yet I felt it.
yes, finally it seemed to be changing, so I carried on, but no longer hurried, because I wanted to concentrate on everything.
That light wind became a whispering and now I felt it clearly.
I thought that I now saw life around me.
It was above and under me, wherever I looked and I became jubilant inside that I would now finally see life.
I did not understand why it had taken so long, but I would ask this to the first person that I met.
I wanted to know the meaning of all the things I had experienced.
Now I felt that I was on the right path and I continued.
I saw shadows before, next to and above me, but it became darker and darker under me.
The light wind which I had felt became stronger and now became a storm, the whispering had become a strong howling.
The life around me now changed with every step.
How naturally this happened.
Underneath me it became more condense and I felt like I did on earth.
Was this earth?
Was I in the inhabited world?
Those shadows now took shape, everything condensed and it was as if I entered another world.
I felt my heart in my throat and I felt myself becoming afraid.
I had been alone for too long.
Now I saw life and would soon see people.
It became clearer and more condense before me and I felt that I had gone back to earth
Was I then here in reality, in the spiritual life?
I dashed towards life, I could not be stopped.
I now heard the violence of a hurricane and it seemed as if heaven and earth perished.
Was this hell?
Yet I carried on, because it laughed at me, I yearned for it.
I now no longer felt my fear and nervousness.
The more violent it became, the more I liked it.
However, it was not so easy to carry on, because I was heading for a whirlwind, which tired me greatly.
Yet the further I went, I passed into this new life and now that I had come so far, I did not feel it so intensely anymore.
Then I thought that something held me back and I resisted that power, because I wanted to see people as soon as possible.
However, that opposing power tired me so intensely that I decided to have a rest.
I was certainly not yet resistant or hardened against this and I had to get used to it first.
Before me I saw a city, people would therefore live there, but it was darkness around me.
Yet I could perceive things.
While I sat here thinking, I thought I heard a voice.
I looked around me, but did not see anyone.
Again I heard talking and asked: ‘Is there anybody here?’
‘Yes’, I heard.
‘Where are you?’
‘Here, with you, but invisible to you.’
‘Invisible?’ I repeated.
‘Why do you not come to me then?’
‘Listen, my friend, I have something to tell you.’
‘You have something to tell me?’
‘Yes, when you want to listen.’
‘Can you tell me where I came from?’
‘I will clarify that for you.’
I listened attentively and already understood who was speaking to me.
I heard him say: ‘You wandered on, continually further and there was no end to it.
Yet this end has come.
After your release you had to experience the time which you would have experienced on earth in a normal situation.
Is this clear to you?’
I thought about it and said: ‘No, I do not understand this.’
You put an end to your earthly life.
Do you know that?’
‘Yes, I know that.’
‘Well, you would have carried on living on earth and you could only live out that time when you had been freed from your earthly body.’
I now understood what the voice meant.
‘What do you think you will do?’
‘I want to see people.’
‘Listen to me.
Before you lies the astral world, what you hear is passion and violence.
Yet look there, another way.
This one will take you to the silence, yet another silence that the one you felt.
It is the way to the spheres of light, to the higher life.
You are not yet conscious and other powers can destroy you.
Yet when you continue to seek the higher, I will assist your efforts and support you in everything.’
‘Am I unconscious?’
‘Unconscious’, was the reply I got.
‘Is that the earth, there before me?’
‘The earth, my son.’
‘And where is hell?’
‘This is your hell.’
‘Your hell’, I heard it clearly said.
‘Hell is the image of your inner life.’
‘Is there no fire burning?’
‘No, but the fire of passion.’
I reflected for a long time and then I heard it said to me again: ‘What do you wish to do?’
’I want to see and meet life.
What do you advise me?’
‘Act according to your own feelings and follow the voice of your heart.
If you need me and there are problems which require clarification, if you feel that you want to get to know life, our life, and start to feel the seriousness of your life, start to understand the suffering on earth and you want to follow that other path, then call me and I will come to you.’
‘Are you Emschor?’
’I am Emschor, your spiritual guide.’
‘Were the feelings I felt in the silence yours?’
‘Mine, my son.
I follow all your movements and will continue to follow you.’
‘Did you awaken my friend Roni?’
‘Yes, it was me.’
And where does he live?’
One day you will know why, one day we will meet each other again.
Follow your path and seek the higher.
Farewell, Lantos Dumonché, farewell, God bless your paths.
Know that He is a Father of Love.’
The voice disappeared, the last words spoken reached me from afar.
However, I wanted to see people and life, nothing else but life.
Before me lay the astral world, people lived there and I continued, towards the unknown.
End of part one