My walk on earth
Farewell, I said to Marianne, farewell, I will not come back here again.
I was firmly determined not to sully our love and wanted to leave, but Marianne kept me prisoner.
Yet it had to happen.
Again I called farewell to her and departed, towards the unknown.
I wept as I had once wept when we were torn apart.
Yet it did me good, because as a result of it I felt warmth entering me.
Where would I go?
The earth was great, but eternity even greater.
There was no end here.
The human will had great strength and its feeling could not be fathomed.
Yet human will bowed itself, if people saw and experienced the truth of everything.
I felt this within me, because I had experienced it.
While I floated over the earth I thought about everything.
I had experienced a great deal and I had become wiser.
Man did not want to bow his head.
Yet he would have to bow to God.
Only to God.
God, the Creator of heaven and earth, forces life - man, the soul - to search for the good.
Nature will force him to do this and then he will tremble from that wonderful life which enters him.
I also bowed my head and asked for forgiveness.
My personality was broken and my heart bled.
However, within me there was happiness, because I knew that one day I would receive that great thing.
I now floated onwards and I no longer had to think of the past.
While floating forwards I felt a power entering me which urged me to get to work.
A new life lay open to me.
I wanted to follow man on earth and to enter one sphere after another.
I would absorb everything, in order to compare it with my own life.
This seemed the best way to me to get to know this life completely.
I went on my way full of new courage.
I had already been in many hells, but there were even more hells and I also wanted to get to know them.
I went forwards as fast as the thought and the stronger I tuned into man, the clearer he became visible to me.
However, I did not feel like staying in one place.
I wanted to become conscious, I did not want to remain one of the living dead, although I thought that I had never been that.
Yet I was one of the living dead.
How remarkable everything was which my master had told me.
I was his son and my own child from many centuries ago brought me a statue and I had made that statue myself.
However incredible it was, I still accepted everything.
God did not create people in order to let them die.
I had experienced problems, nothing but miracles, and what awaited us was awe-inspiring.
The earth was a school and man had to make something of himself in that school.
Man would have to come into harmony with life, but man had to want it, and if people did not want it, they did not learn anything.
If I had felt more love, I would not have killed.
By subjecting my will upon myself, this life would become different for me.
Now I was starting to sense God and now I could bow my head to that Almighty.
The will of people was hell and heaven on this side.
My soul had already experienced many hells, now I was in my last hell and I had to try and free myself for that purpose.
I had already been underway for centuries.
I had been born and had died on earth and had come back in order to be born and to die again.
Now I understood my cycle of the earth and that of all people.
I could now no longer accept that the earth upon which people lived existed as the only planet in this great universe.
Because when people looked at the universe on earth, they saw tens of thousands of them.
One day people would come into connection with all those other planets.
I floated through buildings and saw the earthly being.
Everything which was situated under my own attunement was visible to me.
Yet I only looked at what I was interested in and which had to do with my own life.
All those human things did not concern me, because I saw the same thing almost everywhere.
One person could control himself, another person could not.
I saw sinister situations, but I did not go into them and closed my inner eyes.
Or I examined everything in order to understand that life as well.
I saw that God had been able to separate earthly life from spiritual life.
The material belonged to earth and I lived in spiritual life.
The material life was visible to the spirit, but not the spiritual for the people on earth.
Yet people who had this gift could see into our lives, but there were just a few.
I had not had this gift and therefore my life had been one of searching.
However, I saw that if people on earth set to work on themselves, they would not be blind upon entering.
The earthly life was in order to master spiritual possession.
Now I saw and felt the many types of people and could point out those who would have to go back.
Those people were still animals and they would have to become human beings on earth, but that was impossible in that short life on earth.
The rulers would have to discard their passion for ruling in the first place.
God knew how that happened.
I went further and further and got to know the people of the earth.
Wherever I came, I saw people and animal-like beings everywhere.
Yet I saw most of those animals walking round in human form and they were dangerous.
In the child I could already see, however awful it was, that animal-like being; and the bigger and older the child became, the more conscious that animal became.
What I now experienced was wonderful.
They were already animals at birth.
That incomprehensible animal-man already lived in the child, who could not even say father and mother, in that tiny body.
When it had reached maturity, that animal would begin to feel itself and it would become conscious.
How natural it was.
I learned as a result of this.
I saw from this side how man cursed his own life.
I had also cursed and sworn.
No one on earth knew himself, otherwise he would not curse.
Anyone who put himself on a pedestal cursed, and I saw many people standing on pedestals.
I learned to understand that man, however sacred he felt, still cursed, because he rebelled against others and himself.
One person cursed another, consciously and unconsciously, voluntarily or involuntarily, but everyone cursed.
Yet man on earth will curse, because he does not know himself and all the life which lives there.
Man is already thousands of years old and yet he carries on and curses life.
I even saw mothers who cursed their children, because they did not wish to obey.
Anyone who goes against man curses God, because God’s life lies therein.
I learned to understand all of this on my walk on earth.
I also saw that people were burned in red-hot iron and hot oil and many other torments.
Man has a free will and as long as he does not determine that will by the power of his whole being he will continue to curse and people will have to go back to earth in order to learn to control themselves.
I moved from one city to another and years passed in this way.
Yet I continued to travel and got to know man and life, as no being on earth could.
I learned that everything will have to be made good, not a thought is given to us.
Not one person will escape it.
I descended into the deepest darkness and people also cursed there, but those people can be recognised.
However, on earth I saw bearers with crosses and people who passed themselves off as sacred and a terrible thing lived within them, which made people tremble when they felt it in their deepest being.
I already told you that by perceiving everything I got to know myself well for the first time and I was grateful to be able to observe it.
I determined to destroy my own ego completely.
If I could not do that I would have to continue to travel and my situation would remain a hell.
With each step I took, I bowed my head deeper and deeper, until I kissed the earth on which I walked.
However, the love which I now felt and possessed, could not yet be compared with that of those who had reached the spheres of light and I wanted to go there.
I went further and further.
I spent hours with the people and observed them in their actions.
I learned from this and in this way I also learned to distinguish day from night.
During the night I saw the demons better than during the day, but they were always around and in people.
I visited churches and palaces and got to know their religions, stayed at deathbeds and saw how many were awaited here.
The time passed in this way and I just continued walking, because I did not yet know enough.
I also got to know the deepest hells, but what life is like there is indescribable.
I saw human monsters, like prehistoric monsters, but one day they will also begin to work on themselves.
As a result of these perceptions something within me started to thaw.
I began to thank God more deeply, even for the suffering and sorrow which I had had, and I was grateful to God that I could now go higher and higher, towards the luminous spheres.
When I possessed light and riches on earth I was not satisfied and now that I only saw darkness I was grateful.
Since I had got to know myself better I knew what awaited me and what I had to do.
Here in the darkness I felt happy with everything.
By seeing life and people, I lived.
I felt that I had awakened.
Years passed, but it could also have been centuries.
I continued to observe how people lived and a change came around and in me.
The earth changed and one generation followed another.
Since I was starting to sense the Creator of heaven and earth I felt myself and could be grateful for everything which I had experienced in those hells.
I was taken hold of in one of those hells and flung about the ground.
How they thrashed me!
I fell from one wrong deed into another, this is why I was attacked, but I still learned.
I also connected again to them and in this way I got to know and understand all those hells.
What I experienced there was awful.
Finally my eyes opened and I started to feel different and I was able to protect myself.
I started to thank God more and more deeply.
I was alive and was not dead and I was happy about it.
I started to realise all of this and I accepted my suffering and sorrow in a different way than before.
I was happy that I was starting to live and could be happy with a little bit of love, which people on earth scorned.
How wrongly life on earth is understood.
How people there tramp on love.
Do you know, reader, what this sacred power of feeling means?
Now that I felt all of this I could thank God for all my struggle, which still awaited me.
In this way I became a different person and I was happy about it.
Oh, you do not realise what you possess on earth.
If I could be born again on earth I would do everything differently.
How beautiful my life would be then.
Now I lived in a hell and yet I was happy.
I felt that God loved me and took care of me.
There, you hear, you people of the earth, I could bow my head and I could shout out my happiness in this darkness, so that you could hear it on earth.
Now I have forgotten all my struggle. But what does it mean to be hungry and thirsty on earth in comparison to everything which I saw here?
This is why people on earth curse, when they are not satisfied with what they possess.
I prayed to God to no longer punish me, because I had learned to punish myself and to tune into myself with a razor-sharp concentration, so that I learned to tame my will.
I could no longer be convinced of anything, because a great love for Marianne lay within me and I could not sully her love.
Observing people and the earth from our world is a wonderful study.
It is passing over into the human being, it is feeling and accepting, but what then enters you is like poison and I had to learn to arm myself against it.
Here I learned to see that life is different and God did not intend it to be so.
The human being lives it up, physically and mentally.
That is not the way and it is wrong.
It is destruction.
That is pre-animal-like and the human being, as my master told me, is divine.
Wherever I came and stayed I saw people and astral beings.
One connected to the other and in this way the earthly being became just an instrument in the hands of evil.
I saw that people killed and yet did not do it themselves, that even children were born through the astral being!
Is it not terrible to possess children who are infected by another feeling?
I saw all of this and learned as a result of it.
In this way the human being perished spiritually and yet I could not intervene.
However, I feel that I will one day give all of myself in order to help and save these people.
None of you will be able to see earthly life in this way and yet it is the truth.
It is the human being who curses all that beautiful, including the most sacred feelings.
I myself no longer want that and I will destroy my own self.
If I achieve this, no demon will or can take possession of me anymore.
For this purpose I will close off my inner self and only seek the higher.
I will not give them the opportunity to have fun through me.
They populate the earth and the young life that is born there is inspired by them.
Do you know what this means?
Do you feel the significance of this dreadful event?
I saw that this sacred event, which had to be and could be sacred, was sullied by demons, but the human being is open to it.
Then, when their children grow up and they despise the parental love, they ask 'why and for what purpose' do I have such bad children?
How can God approve of this?
However, they do not understand that it was they themselves who experienced this great and wonderful event on earth and in the most coarse material way.
In this way all of this brought me to thinking and it awakened me, awakened me completely.
How I trembled when I perceived the human being in his most intimate soul life.
What I experienced was outrageous.
Now I could no longer kill, I had learned how I had to love.
I started to feel respect for God, Who loves all of His children after all.
I resolved to love all of the life I would meet.
I learned to master powers, which I could not have learned on earth because they were part of the life of the spirit.
As a result of this my concentration grew sharper, I learned to tune myself, so that when I was attacked I could withdraw into my own hell.
I was able to help many unhappy people who called for their father and mother.
Yet I carried on, because I felt that it was not yet my time to be able to devote myself completely to it.
I compared all those hells, those animal-like circumstances, to my own life and I saw and felt how far removed the human being still was from the real truth.
People of the earth, I would like to call to you from this side: Work on yourself, control your will, come down from your pedestals.
Do not permit yourself to perish through weakness.
If you enter here, then hope that you will not be one of them who live in the deepest darkness, because then you will be deeply, deeply unhappy.
Keep a check on yourself, do not surrender to weakness, so that you have not lived for nothing.
On this side you are confronted with your own life.
Every thought has to be made up.
Everything, everything is determined.
You must and therefore will experience that nothing, absolutely nothing can be hidden.
You will pay for all your sins and you will make good what you did wrong.
Bow your head, discard pride and thirst for power and love everything that lives.
Hurry up, brothers and sisters, because your end is approaching.
Know that there is a going higher, that upon entering this side your loved ones await you, but then you must also love and live as God wants all His children to live.
Work and pray, but do not ask.
Do not do as I did, you will destroy yourself then.
Do not search, but believe.
Accept, people of the earth, accept that death is not death, but means life.
Accept that love is the highest thing given by God to the human being.
Anyone who feels love is awake and God will lead you and strengthen you.
Then you will appear as conquerors.
I knew when I had started my walk.
However, when I tuned into the earth I got a shock.
Centuries had passed.
Centuries of experience and I still did not know anything, I only knew the human being on earth and I still lived in a hell.
I had followed different generations on earth and yet I had not concentrated on the time.
When I saw that, I understood for the first time how many centuries were necessary before the human being could enter the spheres of light.
Then I started to realise for the first time how I could get out of here, because I wanted to go further and higher.
I was still one of the living dead, and yet, how much had I not mastered?
Yet I understood that I had learned a lot, but had spent my time on myself, as the human being on earth does.
He is also learned and yet poor in love.
I could have continued for thousands of years and yet my hell would not have changed.
I had to serve and make myself useful, go and do something, otherwise I would not get out of here.
I wanted to try and achieve this.
I will tell you how I did that.