Back to the earth
“There was more light around me and I already said that my dwelling remained open; it would now remain open for eternity.
I understood my situation completely; nothing was strange and incomprehensible to me anymore.
Now I longed for my loved ones.
I tried to form an impression of the earth, but I had to stop since I did not know where to begin.
Where was the earth, the planet where I had lived?
How were my loved ones and how long had I already been dead?
Were they all still alive, my wife and my child?
Were they healthy?
The brother knew that I had a child!
It occurred to me that I had been here for a while.
How I had changed already and yet I had not done anything and had achieved so little.
I had only learned to work on myself, not more than that.
Yet, I now thought differently and it did not cost me any effort because I was no longer confused.
That battle had been unbearable; it could not have lasted any longer.
I now understood the brother completely.
I could not yet gauge the depth of eternal life; I still had to learn that.
How simple everything was, but yet so difficult.
The things people had to discard, who just lived loosely and then those who did not feel love for anything.
what a great deal they had to make up for.
I already sympathized with them; they would be poor people when they arrived here.
Oh, it made me tremble when I thought about it.
I was only a child in evil, had not done any great wrong, and yet I had to discard so much.
On earth, I wished everyone his happiness, did not long for riches, but lived my own earthly existence.
Yes, it was earthly; I felt it and now understood the great and mighty difference in both lives.
I had not been bad, but not good either.
I lived in between the material and spiritual attunement, floated in space and had no spiritual ground under my feet.
I arrived here in that same condition and had now discarded all that earthly, that meaningless part.
I saw all my friends and acquaintances who were poor of spirit like I passing by my spiritual eyes.
How did they feel, those wretches?
Every Sunday they went to church, and yet, I now knew it all too well, they had no spiritual possession.
In this way, they would never receive it either, or be able to master it.
They did not live according to it and were crude-material, sometimes even mean, very mean.
People could read their religion on their faces; they burned candles and incense and scolded other religions and people.
Now I saw through all of this, now I knew what all that earthly part meant.
How many candles would my mother have lit for me?
Perhaps dozens, and yet I was not in heaven and would never come there as a result of those candles.
But the church, its religion and faith, urged her to act in this way.
I had to work on myself, otherwise I would not make it and I wanted this badly.
On earth I had known people who did not wish another person anything and yet they were pious and believed that they would also go to paradise.
Now I could already see their distorted faces and heard them shouting and asking: ‘why’ and ‘what for’?
They would receive their heaven and the gates of heaven would be opened to them, but what kind of heaven?
Oh, if they should arrive here, then their suffering would be terrible.
The more struggle a person received on earth, the happier the person would be on this side.
Now I felt it, now I had learned to know myself.
Finally, the brother came and called me and we were soon outside.
Everything was strange to me, I will tell you that, Jozef.
We walked in the nature, but while walking, I saw that the nature and everything around me faded.
Then I felt myself becoming lighter and my surroundings disappeared.
Everything had dissolved for me.
We had been absorbed into the cosmos and floated in space, on the way to earth.
I remained in the same light, the light that lay around me and which I was allowed to call mine.
This was therefore my own attunement, the love that I possessed.
I would see the earth in that light.
The brother explained everything to me and I asked him a lot about the things that we met on our way.
You cannot imagine how wonderful it is, to float in space.
I felt as if I lived on earth and yet I knew that I had died there.
I saw and heard everything, but I still understood little about it.
I thought that the dissolving of my sphere was amazing.
The people on earth will not be able to form an idea about that, but one day all of them will experience it.
I saw planets, stars and other bodies and on them lived people, people such as we, but in a higher state.
We met other beings, but I could only see those people through the powers of my master.
All of this is concentration, inwardly tuning in, passing into those attunements, but I did not yet possess the ability for it.
I asked the brother how long I had already been in the spheres.
He said: ‘Six months and a few days, according to earthly time.’
Six months; to me it seemed an eternity.
I thought about my wife and child.
How would I see them again and how would I find them?
How happy they would be if I was in their midst.
Then it became dark around me, but then I saw again from my own attunement, because my light remained and yet I was in an unknown darkness.
When I asked the brother what this meant, he said: ‘We are in the sphere of the earth.’
Amazing, I thought.
‘Whom did you think you would connect with?’ the brother asked me.
What was connecting?
‘You want to go to your wife and child, do you not?’
‘Then I will concentrate on you and you will continue to think of your wife and child; that is connecting.
By thinking of something and by concentrating on it, we will receive a connection.’
Now I understood what connecting meant.
I therefore thought of my house on earth; I would find them there.
It was not even difficult and because I longed for it, I remained in connection with them.
Nothing seemed simpler to me.
‘Look,’ said the brother, ‘there before you, that is the earth.’
I saw a mighty sphere and from that sphere, I saw a weak light radiating.
Around the sphere, I saw a circle of light, which lay tightly around it.
‘The radiance of the earth’, said the brother.
‘That is the planet earth; you lived there, you died there.’
What I saw was great.
‘Do you know where they live?’ I asked.
‘Not me’, said the brother, ‘but you know, do you not?’
How would we be able to find my wife and child on that great earth, I thought?
But the brother said: ‘You continue to think of them, then your own thoughts will bring us to them.
I will connect again with you, as I told you, therefore your thoughts will take us to them.’
‘How simple it is’, I said to the brother.
‘Everything is simple when we know those powers, but I advise you to remain calm and quiet about everything which you will experience.
Remember especially to control yourself.’
‘Yes, I will do that’, I said.
Now I got the feeling that I could no longer think.
However much I wanted, with all my power I could not hold onto the desired thought.
I asked the brother what this meant and he said: ‘I withdrew my power from you and you felt that you floated onwards like putty in my hands.
You would continue to float in this place and not be able to go any further if no other powers would help you.
I am hereby showing you that you still have to learn all of this.
Strong concentration is necessary in order to get a connection.
Later, when you possess these powers, everything will be different for you.
In this way, we will continue further in order to develop you.
One day you will be able to stand on your own two feet, move forward under your own powers and take action when this is desired.
Now we are on earth.
This trip took a long time, but anyone who possesses the power for it, can move as fast as the wind and connect with the earth if this should be necessary.
But all of that will come later’
How amazed I was to be on earth again; I saw houses and streets, but I saw the people and everything so very differently.
Now I saw through the people.
Had they changed then?
No, only I and my whole situation and I had changed.
I saw the earth from this life and that was very strange, so that I set up one cry of amazement after the other.
What a wonder it is, to be dead and yet to live and to be able to see on earth again.
Moreover, to see the people and to hear them speak and to walk through them, and all the while they did not feel any of it.
That is the greatest wonder which the human being who goes back to earth for the first time from this life will experience.
It moved me deeply; everyone would be impressed by it.
I saw that we had entered a neighbourhood that I knew.
There I saw my own street in front of me.
I wanted to race into my house like a tornado, but I felt that I was held back.
The brother looked at me and said: ‘Did we not agree?
To be calm and to control yourself in every way.
Remember, Gerhard, you will see strange things.’
However, when I was some way in the street so familiar to me, I tore myself loose from the tie, which held me and fled to my house, where I had died.
I grasped the bell, but felt that I did not possess the power to ring it.
What did this mean?
I wanted to ring again and when I watched my actions properly, I saw that I went through the bell.
The brother, who had meanwhile come to me, looked at me and said: ‘In this way you will never get in.
I will solve the mystery for you.
Why are you in such a hurry?
You live in eternity, after all.
Where is your self-control?’
I lowered my eyes and felt that I had already forgotten myself again.
How difficult it was to have to keep thinking about that.
‘Come, we will enter.’
The brother walked in front of me and entered through the door.
‘People do not need to open the door to us; we are spirits, Gerhard; and we have discarded the material body.
Come, follow me.’
Again, I saw a wonder taking place; who would have thought that?
After all, I did not yet know those spiritual laws and possibilities.
We were soon upstairs.
I felt my heart beating fiercely, because now I would see my child and my wife.
I stood there, in my own house, here I had died and here was everything that I had left behind.
Would I see them and did they still live here?
Now I heard talking; I called my wife and waited for an answer.
However, I did not hear anything.
Then I ran to the living room, I heard talking there.
Domestic matters were being discussed, and I could hear it clearly.
I called again, but did not get an answer.
However, the voices were not familiar.
I thought I saw a shadow at the window.
I tried one more time to call my wife, but again without result.
I looked at the brother, who asked me: ‘Is the woman there who is busy knitting your wife?’
No, now that I looked more clearly, it appeared to be other people.
I did not know these people, however, could they not answer?
I was in my own house, where was my wife then?
‘They cannot hear you’, said the brother.
‘No, because you are spirit.
Consequently, the human being on earth will not be able to hear your soft but clear calling.’
Then I shouted even louder.
‘They cannot hear that either’, said the brother.
What did all of this mean?
I had lived here; I should have found my wife and child here.
‘Oh, help me, brother, I want to see them; I do not want to go back before I have seen all of them.’
‘Be calm and remain calm, Gerhard!
Is she your mother?’
‘No, she is not.’
‘Then we are wrong.
I knew that we were wrong.’
‘Did you know that?’ I asked in amazement.
‘You thought of your house and we therefore came here, but you should have thought about them, only about them.
I could feel your thoughts.
As a result of this, you will tune in purely and think of what you want to meet and see again.
Is this clear to you?’
‘Other people have come to live in your house.’
‘But how is that possible, in those few months?’
‘Yet it will be the case, but we will find them.
Come, follow me.’
I had therefore received the first disappointment on earth.
I had not thought of that.
‘She will be with my mother, will you take me there?’
I already said that I had had the first unpleasant discovery.
Yet, I was happy because I had seen something of myself again, even if it was only my former house.
We walked through the streets and we were soon in the neighbourhood where my parents lived.
I now knew how to control myself and kept a close track of the brother.
My mother lived here.
I already saw by the furniture in the hallway that she still lived here.
I recognized different pieces of furniture, which I myself had put in the place where they still stood.
‘Mother’, I called very loudly, ‘mother, I am here, Gerhard!’
I listened carefully, but there was no answer here either.
What the brother had made clear to me I had already forgotten in this excitement.
I ran into the room where I had often been, but I saw no one.
Would I have to experience a second disappointment?
How awful that would be.
The brother took my hand in his and stopped me.
‘I will help you; you still cannot concentrate.
I looked at the place, which the brother had pointed out to me, and then I saw my mother.
I raced towards her and called: ‘Mother, mother, it is me, Gerhard.’
But mother behaved as if I was not there.
I called her again.
‘Mother, look, I am alive; I am here.
You think that I am dead, but I am alive.’
But mother did not see me or hear me, I remained invisible to her.
‘Can you not hear me?’
I kissed both her cheeks, but she behaved as if she did not feel me.
I thought I would sink through the ground.
‘Mother, how harsh you are!
What have I done?
Look at me; it is I.
What does all of this mean?’
Suddenly, mother said something to someone who also appeared to be present.
I heard talking, but it was so strange.
Again, I tried to reach mother, but I did not manage.
I lost my self-control and felt my anxiety coming back.
Again I called loudly, but she did not hear me now either.
Again, I heard her talk to someone, now from closer by and when I looked I saw whom she had spoken to; I saw my wife.
‘Did you call me?’ she asked.
I did not hear anything else, because I raced towards her and embraced her.
Dreadful, she did not feel me.
She moved and I did not manage to stop her.
I held my arms around her neck and wanted to stop her from moving in this way.
But she did what she wanted.
The hearts of the people had turned to stone, I thought.
What has got into them that they do not recognize me?
I shouted loudly, but she did not hear me and behaved as if I were not there.
I raced towards her again and pressed her against me, kissed her on the mouth, cheeks and forehead, but she did not feel me.
I no longer existed for her, because I was dead.
Yet, I was alive.
Dizzy with my head bent, I stood there like a broken person.
How I had longed for her, yet, I could not reach her.
Again, I tried it with my mother, but the attempt appeared fruitless.
I held her firmly, squeezed her arm so that I thought that parts of her body would break, but she did not feel me and remained unfeeling towards me.
I called again: ‘Mother, have I changed so much?
But I love you!’ and I gave her a shaking,however, it was only I that shook; I did not get a connection.
I knelt down before her and looked her in the eye, but she looked through me.
Her eyes only saw what belonged to the earth, but she could not see me.
A heartrending feeling, a deep misery overcame me, so that I broke inside.
How much I had already suffered!
I had not counted on this, it was too much for me.
Her eyes were and remained blind.
She could neither hear me nor feel me.
No feeling, no sight and no sound, oh, what a disappointment!
All of this made me angry; I forgot myself and flew at my wife.
I pressed her against my chest with all the strength I had, kissed her violently on her cheeks, mouth and forehead, heard her heart beating fast, but had to let her go, because she walked through me.
Yet, she had felt a part of me, since she said to my mother: ‘How strange, mother, I had intense heart palpitations a moment ago.’
Mother did not reply, but looked at her.
I followed mother’s gaze and felt my anxiety, thirst and a swollen throat was coming back.
I was no longer myself, but here was water and I raced to the kitchen and wanted to open the tap.
But I could not do that either.
Could I not even manage to get a bit to drink?
I pounded at the tap, but went through it.
Then I ran back to the front of the house.
I did not see the brother; I had forgotten him.
I fought with myself like a madman.
I had forgotten the spiritual life and self-control again.
I gained dreadful new experiences!
I knelt down again and called: ‘Mother, mother!’
Then I jumped up and tried to reach my wife, but she did not feel anything at all, she was even further away from me than my mother.
I suddenly saw my child in a corner of the room.
I called the little one, but the child did not hear me either.
My God, I thought, that on top of everything else.
All my loved ones were deaf and blind and I apparently no longer existed for them.
With my child, I became a bit calmer; she was playing there so quietly, so that I could think a bit more calmly.
Then I saw the brother for the first time.
He stood there at the entrance of the room, with his arms crossed over his chest and looked at me.
I trembled and was ashamed and it was as if I was paralysed.
He shook his beautiful, intelligent head and came towards me.
‘Gerhard, my friend, in this way you will never reach them.
I let you go your own way but I saw how you behaved and how you have forgotten everything again.
To the earth, you are dead, dear friend, will you never forget that again?
Listen, if they were clairvoyant, they could have seen you, but they cannot see or hear, neither of them has this gift.
However loudly you call, they will not hear you.
You cannot break their arms and legs, even if you wanted to.’
The brother looked me deep in the eye and I understood.
How rough I had been.
The brother continued: ‘They live in the material life and you in the spirit.
In order to be able to see you, a connection is needed.
Those who live in the spirit and are clairvoyant or clairaudient mediums, which therefore possess these gifts, can hear our soft but clear voices.
They see and feel our life.
They therefore have to feel interest for our life; otherwise, people cannot be reached anyway, even if we have such good instruments.
Their faith and thousands of other things stop them.
However, I can imagine your situation, because many people forget themselves when they come back to the earth for the first time.
But you must be able to control yourself in every way.’
I looked at the brother and tears flowed down my cheeks.
‘What should we do now?
Where are my sisters and my father?
Is it night or is it day?’ I asked the brother.
‘It is midday on earth, but I do not yet know now where your other loved ones are.
You see, there are different situations which prevent you from coming into connection with them.’
Where had my joy gone?
My loved ones were there and I could not reach any of them.
There was nothing more for me to do here.
They were alive, I was alive, and yet we could not achieve any connection.
I had become calm, and found peace again with my child.
I had almost returned to that dreadful situation, thank God, I thought, that it did not come to that point.
But what a misery it is to go back to the earth and not be heard or seen.
Yet, I could not leave, because they attracted me to them and kept me captive.
I felt their love and that made me dizzy.
Again, I kissed my mother, wife and child and went back to my mother.
I knelt at her feet and prayed very deeply that I would be able to reach them one day.
I sunk deeper and deeper and no longer knew that I was alive.
A great sadness lay in me, which overpowered me and as a result of which I fell asleep.
When I awoke, I lay in my own room.
I was far removed from the earth and now I thought about everything I had experienced in the sphere of the earth.
What a disappointment!
But who had brought me here?
I no longer knew anything about the journey back.
I could still remember everything about the earth.
Meanwhile, I made sure I remained calm, because I did not want to fall back again.
Then, with my head in both hands, I wept for a long time and did not seem to be able to stop.
Could the people on earth imagine our sorrow?
Oh, on earth, people do not know such sorrow; this is the sorrow of the spirit.
Oh, sacred spiritualism, the means of connection!
If that were not the case, I would not even be able to tell all of this.
I did not yet know much about it, but I felt how sacred spiritualism was.
I thought for a long time and wanted to go back to the earth, I wanted to experience everything again, but then consciously.
I had not yet learned anything.
If only it was possible.
The brother had taken me back.
How good of him not to leave me behind alone in the sphere of the earth.
Yet, I had forgotten myself and almost broken mother’s arm.
Oh, how it hurt me.
When I still lived on earth, I would never have done such a thing.
How unnatural all of this was, this reunion and yet it was reality; only so terribly strange.
I still felt the heart of my wife beating, I had felt it clearly and I was shocked by it.
Yet, she did not see or feel me.
What a chasm lay between her and me; something had to bridge this and this was spiritualism.
Yet, they did not want anything to do with spiritualism either.
While I was thinking about all of this, my master entered.
‘Are you still sad, Gerhard?’
‘No’, I said, ‘now not anymore; I want to resign myself to the inevitable.
I have thanked God and I also thank you for everything.
Yet I would like to ask you whether I may go back, since I would like so much to experience this again, but then consciously.
Now I will be able to stay in control.’
‘Of course, we can leave soon and I think it is wonderful that you have reached this decision yourself.
You have to finish this work, otherwise you will not be able to be calm.’
I got ready and soon we set off for the earth for the second time.
Now I floated consciously towards the earth.
I learned to concentrate and as a result of that I learned to go faster and faster and I thought it was wonderful.
I tuned in very deeply and we progressed at a fast pace.
Then I let my concentration weaken again, so that my speed lessened.
I found it highly interesting!
I looked at the brother and smiled.
‘Carry on’, he said, ‘I will follow you.’
How happy I felt to be able to do this and with this happiness I no longer felt any sadness.
By passing into this and learning this, another power entered me.
Now I saw the earth very clearly before me and we would soon be there.
I had found the earth again under my own powers.
‘We can go even faster’, said the brother, ‘we will try it, but do not be afraid because we will not crash into anything.’
Now I felt an intense concentration entering me and we moved like a flash.
Everything disappeared before my eyes since I had concentrated on one point.
Amazing powers of the spirit; how great the human powers can be.
My last anxiety had disappeared and we entered the sphere of the earth.
‘Did you help me, brother?’
‘No, I let you go this time’, said the brother.
How happy I was!
I entered my mother’s house again and walked through the rooms, but now I did not see anyone.
Were they not at home?
‘They are asleep’, said the brother, ‘it is now night on earth.’
Then I went to her bedroom, I would find her there.
I remained standing at the door and listened.
Was it my mother who lay there in bed?
The brother signalled to me to come closer.
Yes, it was she; my mother lay sunk away in a deep peace.
‘Your mother is sick.’
‘Sick?’ I asked.
‘A slight indisposition.’
‘How do you know that so quickly?’
‘I can see it from her aura; concentration, my friend.’
I no longer called to her now, since I knew that she would not hear me anyway.
‘I can see her so clearly’, I said to the brother in amazement, ‘what does that mean?’
‘The last time you yourself was too tense and you saw her through my power.
Now you are conscious.’
‘I have therefore also mastered that?’
‘Only by controlling yourself”, said the master.
‘Will she pass over, brother?’
‘No, she will get better.
She will still have to stay on earth for many years.
Later you will collect her, because you will start to feel this inside.’
Now I looked at the place which the brother pointed out to me and I was shocked.
What was that?
I saw a radiant shape next to my mother and bent over her.
The being radiated a beautiful light, which illuminated mother.
A beautiful being radiated her, his hands lay on her forehead.
Mother was being treated, helped by a spirit; I felt it immediately.
How could it be that I had not seen the apparition before?
The brother whispered to me that it was a higher attuned being, which I had not been able to see properly before.
It would only be later that I would be able to do that as well.
The being remained in this position for some time bent over my mother and a strong beam of light shot from his hands.
Unexpectedly the being turned round and looked at me and now I saw two beautiful human eyes, which shone like suns.
The eyes of my master also shone like this, because I also saw that same powerful radiance.
I knew that spirit, but where had I seen him?
Suddenly it occurred to me.
‘Grandfather, oh, grandfather, is it you?
Here, with my mother?
I know that you died a long time ago!
Did you know that I was also in this life?’
‘I knew it, my boy, I already knew it a long time before you entered this life.’
‘And did you not come to visit me then?’
‘Everything is good as it is happening.’
Which wonders will I now experience this time?
‘How did you come to earth, grandfather?’
‘I could ask you the same thing.’
‘That is true’, I said, ‘but it is wonderful to possess a part of myself in this life’, and then I flew into his arms.
It was as if we still lived on earth.
How often had I not sat on his knee.
How much grandfather loved me!
My childhood years now passed me by and I saw many beautiful moments there.
‘How long is it since you died?’
‘Very long, my boy.’
‘How did you know that mother was ill?’
‘Wonders in the spiritual life, Gerhard.’
He placed his beautiful hands on my head and I felt his peace, which entered me.
He also looked into my eyes and said: ‘Will you be strong and work on yourself?’
‘Yes, I promise’, I said.
‘You have been a good person, grandfather, I have heard so much said about you.’
‘When you were still little, I already came to you on earth from time to time.
I will tell you a bit about my life; come and sit next to me.’
We sat down in a corner of the room, my master also, and now grandfather told about his life.
Oh, what a beautiful moment that was!
He told of his life on earth and about his passing over until this reunion.
But how great everything was.
It also opened my eyes.
He lived in the second sphere and was a happy spirit.
He watched over her, my mother, his child.
Isn’t it amazing, Jozef?
Will the human being ever be able to understand this?
I am telling you the sacred truth, Jozef, I was able to experience all of this.
People have to experience this in order to be able to feel the amazing part and only then do they thank their Father, their God.
How great my happiness was now.
We were together for a long time, but we would not be able to stay here.
‘Follow your leader, do what he tells you, Gerhard’, said grandfather.
‘Work on yourself, I will take care of all of them and watch over them!’
‘That is a great comfort’, I said, ‘now I can work on myself with peace of mind.’
‘We will see each other again; I will help my children, as well as your wife and child.’
‘Do you know where they are?’
‘In the next room, follow me.
Do not forget that they are sleeping and they need rest.
Will you approach them in silence?’
‘In peace, grandfather, in peace.’
He guided me to the people who belonged to me.
There lay my dear child and on the other side her mother, my wife.
She dreamt of a reunion, but that I was standing here and was so close, looked at her carefully and followed her dream, no, she would not be able to accept that.
That was too deep for her simple mind.
However, one day, one day her eyes would also be opened.
No, she could not think badly of me; in her lay love, love for me, and I had to think of my own dream, imposed upon me.
Now I could let her dream and I felt how I would be able to reach her.
The human being was allowed to dream in this way.
Dreams, which are given to them from the spirit.
Dreams, which are predictions, dreams of love and reunion.
I felt deep respect for that greatness, which was God.
Now she moved; I had to stop, or I would disturb her.
How easy it is to reach the human being in his sleep.
Then his concentration is removed and the spirit can connect in silence.
I saw the working of her heart and felt that her nerves were tense.
She was mourning because I was dead and yet I was alive.
Then I grasped her hand, lay it in mine and placed a kiss on her forehead.
Suddenly there was movement in her; her spirit became conscious, the material organs started to work even faster.
I saw and felt how the spirit put the material body into operation.
This moment was interesting for me.
She awoke, looked up but did not feel or see me.
At the same moment, I withdrew and she fell asleep again.
I would have liked to have remained here for hours, but that was not allowed and not possible.
I stood sunk in thought for a long time.
How beautiful the human being is when he bears spiritual possession within him and can find attunement on the Other Side.
My masters had let me experience this.
Both of them now looked at me and I understood: grandfather had wanted this and I was deeply grateful to him for this.
I went from my wife to my child.
I cuddled up to my child and pressed her against my chest; then I said goodbye in silence.
‘Follow me’, said my grandfather, ‘I will show you another being.’
In another room, I saw my father.
I had not thought of him at all, since we did not have a strong connection.
Strange, that this was felt in life after death.
Yet, I loved him with heart and soul, but we were two different natures; our characters did not correspond.
On earth, I had not been able to understand him and now I saw why that had not been possible.
I placed my hands on his head and thought about the time when he would also enter this life.
On this side, we would be able to understand each other better.
For my mother’s rest he slept in this room, I understood this completely.
In a corner of the room, I saw my own portrait and a small light burned beside it in honour of me.
I was dead, after all, and people did that for a dead person.
I stood in thought watching the little flame.
Did it make me happy?
No, I would really like to have felt that the sacred light of spiritualism burned in their souls, the knowledge that I was here and that I was alive.
How happy that would make me.
But their faith kept them back and I would not yet be able to bridge that gulf.
I knew how deeply they believed, but how terrible this really was.
My mother went to the church a lot, would pray for me and for all the others who were dear to her.
She would now pray for me the most; I knew it all too well.
Mother, I said to myself, mother, pray for yourself, that God may open your eyes.
That God will take you this way, the way of connection.
May God give me the strength to shake all of you awake.
Now for the first time I felt that my life was beginning on the Other Side.
I said farewell to my grandfather.
‘Take strength from all of this, Gerhard.’
‘I will do it, grandfather.’
‘Now I will leave.’
He looked me deep in the eye and not a word more was spoken.
I squeezed both his hands and felt them dissolve in mine.
The whole apparition dissolved and was shrouded in a haze.
‘Farewell’, I heard him say, ‘God bless you.’
The light disappeared and my grandfather had passed into a state unknown to me.
He lived there, behind that haze.
Now I knew it, I had seen him there and spoken to him.
From there, I felt his love coming to me.
In this way, the spirit withdraws, after having manifested itself on earth, the spirit that lives behind the veil and is hidden to the people on earth.
That haze held a truth hidden, which I alone knew.
It hid a treasure, which was dear to me.
Behind that haze lay the sacrificing love.
It is the life around and in the human being, of which many people are still unaware.
It is spiritualism which makes this haze disappear and as a result of which we become visible.
That is the most sacred thing given to the human being.
I was grateful, oh, so grateful.
When I had experienced all of this, I murmured with tears in my eyes: ‘Good, dear Father’, put my hands before my eyes and fell to my knees in order to thank God for his great goodness.
Can you understand and feel what went on inside me, Jozef, that I was able to experience this after so many disappointments?
Now I know that a love exists, which surpassed everything, so that you forget yourself and lose yourself.
All of this makes you tremble from sacred respect for that mightiness and it makes you realize your own littleness and insignificance.
In ignorance, you drag the most sacred thing through the mud and you mock God’s sacred powers and laws.
The powers through which the human being on earth can receive connection with us.
When I felt all of this, it took away my breath.
I felt the silhouette of that other even greater love, an inner warmth that flows completely through a human soul.
To be able to experience that one-day, I wanted to give myself completely for that.
I had been on earth for the second time and now I had enriched myself in spirit.
Now I was no longer bothered by all my earthly phenomena and I knew why.
Now I prepared to leave and return to the spheres.
I had had enough of thinking for the time being.
However, I did not yet think of you, Jozef, I only did that later.
That was because other things occupied me completely and then you can no longer think about anything else.
Our life is like this, because here you do just one thing at a time.
We had soon reached the spheres and I could think again.
I remained in this situation for a long time, a very long time, Jozef, it could have been weeks.
Then I felt wonderful thoughts coming to me, and now, for the first time, I noticed that you thought about me and prayed for me.
Oh, how happy I was that I could now receive this consciously; I thanked you warmly.
See, then a prayer has a lot of power, because it is sent up consciously.
You sent your happiness to me, but other prayers often make you sad, because the human being himself is sad.
Thoughts of happiness and knowledge now came to me.
Now I can tell you that a prayer, sent up in full consciousness, can work wonders.
It strengthens and warms you very deeply.
I felt your love and friendship for me.
Then I started to think about myself again.
I prayed fiercely to God, because I wanted to start doing something for others.
A great peace lay within me and I now possessed concentration.
I had got to know God; I now knew a very small bit about the Greatness, who watches over all His children.
Now I could pray from the depth of my soul and I thanked God for all the beautiful things given to me.
Then I went to visit the brother, because I could now move freely in my sphere.
He looked at me and he was also happy.
How I had already changed!
‘Look into nature’, he said, ‘you will see everything different again; now that the greyness has disappeared.’
I saw the nature now as it had always been, but that was because it was so very different inside me and I had become a different person.
‘You see’, said the brother, ‘that the human being is one with nature, when he enters here.’
Now I was like the others who lived here.
Something was growing inside me and something had awakened.
I asked the brother what I would be doing; I could not remain like this.
I wanted to master other powers; I wanted to serve and to work, as he did.
‘Listen, my friend’, said the brother.
‘We have now come to the stage that you want to start working for others.
In you lies a strong will, but knowledge is also needed for it.
You still know so little about this life and there is still so much that you will have to learn.
What I showed you in the sphere of the earth was in your own interest and namely to release you from the earth.
You will certainly feel that I have chosen the correct path.
If we had gone back immediately, you would have forgotten yourself on earth and the consequences would have been dreadful.
However, all of that is now far behind you.
But we could also go back now and I could show you all the spiritual laws, as well as how we can do work there, as your grandfather and others do, but knowledge is needed for that.
We can also learn that here in our own attunement.
If we were to go back anyway, you would learn, but you would not be able to do anything for others and that is not the intention.
So listen, Gerhard: Follow a school here where people will explain all the states of transition to you, from the highest to the lowest.
You will get to know different heavens and hells there.’
‘Hells, did you say?’
‘Precisely, I have already spoken about that, but that was at the moment when you went to sleep.’
‘Amazing’, I said, ‘do you still remember that?’
‘You see, I did not forget, but listen now.
You will get to know the spiritual attunements there, also other laws, powers, planets and stars, human being and animal, up to the highest.
That is the cycle of the soul.
That school lasts a few months according to earthly calculations.
Everyone who thinks naturally, who has discarded the earthly life and has passed into this life, will follow that.
When you have finished that school, only then will you descend into the dark spheres, and your life, your task to be something to others, will begin.
Descending into the dark spheres is the most difficult work, which we know on this side, but you will learn more in three months there than you would take three years to learn in other circumstances.
You will feel how difficult that descending is, but it will be explained to you at that school.
Life in the dark spheres, my friend, is terrible, but you have to decide for yourself; I cannot advise you in it.
I am only telling you what is possible.
So, have a good think about it, because much sacrifice is necessary in order to work there.
However, there is no fire burning, as I already told you’, and he looked at me, ‘but there the fire of lust and violence burns, those who live there are the people who have sunk the deepest.
You only descend there to help others.
Come, we will go for a walk and then I will also show you other people, who have already been here a good while, but who have still not mastered anything.
I told you about that in the beginning.
You therefore think about what I just told you and then tell me what you have decided.’
We met many people, but the brother did not say anything to me.
I pondered what to do, but I did not need to think for long.
Yes, I wanted to descend, I had to make progress in order to master my spiritual powers.
However terrible it was there, I wanted to go.
I asked him: ‘Did you also descend when people told you about it?’
The brother nodded yes and I had already made my decision and said to him: ‘I have decided, I want to descend.’
‘Excellent, Gerhard, you are following my path and that of thousands of others.’ He grasped my arm and said: ‘I thought so, no I knew that you would decide to do the most difficult work.
You will benefit from it later.’
‘When can I descend?’
‘Oh, not so hasty, first you will go to school.
Then you will experience other situations, which I will show you and only then can you descend.
I admire your determination and I think it is wonderful.
At school, as I already said, you will get to know different laws and the teachers are spirits from higher spheres.
In the darkness, you will be faced with different problems and all these problems can destroy you.
You will sink back and that is not the intention.’
‘Oh, but that is no longer possible, is it?’
‘Not so fast, you do not know who lives there; you are still ignorant of their dreadful and awful powers.
All those powers and hindrances can discourage you and I want to watch out for that.
Now I am no longer playing with your whole personality at stake.
This stake is too precious.
I will therefore show you many other situations when you return from school and this will also encourage you to do your best.
There are also surprises, but only after your exam.
It is taught there how you must connect.
You have already experienced a few transitions and namely that of going to the earth.’
We now reached a large square and there were a number of people gathered there.
Amongst them, I saw many people whom I had already met.
Now I understood all these people, knew their attunement and could follow them in the spirit.
‘Look there’, said the brother, ‘that elderly woman has already left the earth a long time ago.
She is wearing earthly clothes because this is her way of thinking, but she will also have to discard that clothing one-day.
To put it simply, she will therefore have to distance herself from her possession, but this is still too difficult.
If you follow her in her way of thinking, you will feel your own attunement and then it will be clear to you how much she still had to discard.
First, that attire, then her whole personality.
You may therefore consider yourself fortunate that you arrived here in this burial suit, because otherwise you would have had to discard even more.
No gold or precious stones darken your spiritual light, no money or goods draw you back to the earth.
But see these poor beings, they are wearing what they wore on earth and that alone would not be terrible, but it does not belong to this life.
Their struggle will therefore be awful.
You know how that discarding takes place, I do not need to tell you anything about it.
They will also curse this life and everything to do with their own personality.
Only then will the earthly life fall away from them and they will enter here.
They therefore live in the life of the spirit, but in their feelings, they are still on earth.
That woman is weeping because she thinks that people are neglecting her.
Yet, she cannot be reached and therefore people cannot help her.
I could not have explained all of this to you in the beginning, for you would not have understood it.
Yet, many of them know that they died on earth.
Others still cannot accept this and lead their lives as they want to themselves.
Yet, they are the living dead in eternity.
They have to start working on themselves, before this, their situation will not, and cannot change.
Later you will be able to speak to them, now I advise you most strongly against it.
The brothers and sisters are here in order to help them; that will now be clear to you.
That elderly man there is one of the living dead.
He feels like a gentleman, but that belongs to the earth.
On this side we are all children in the spirit and anyone who is not, will have to learn it.
He feels like a personality and brags about what he was on earth and what he achieved.
But you know, all of that is earthly and has no meaning.
They speak of earthly circumstances and live on the Other Side.
Is it any wonder then that they do not bear any spiritual possession?
That they live in a sphere, which lies between the crude-material and the spiritual attunement?
That they do not possess any light and have closed themselves off to all that beauty which we possess on this side?
Is it not sad?
People tell them about this life and they listen carefully, but do not start to live in it.
They feel happy, but to us their happiness has no value.
They are therefore the living dead, precisely as on earth; this is how these people live there and arrive in the same state.
They close themselves off to the spiritual life, and they do not feel any need for it yet.
However, that time will come, perhaps after many years.
Believe me, when I tell you that dozens of years will pass before they start to work on themselves.
They are not bad, but they do not bear any possession.
You see how wonderful it is here as a result of that when people already know on earth about an eternal life and arrive here with little earthly possessions.
Those who tuned into our life on earth and lived according to it, all of them live in the higher spheres.
They have reached the first and second sphere and are the happiest in the spirit.
Here, amongst these people, are the intellectuals of the earth; they feel love, but only for themselves.
Here rich and poor live together, but the children live in the higher spheres.
A child that has died young on earth has another attunement than they possess here.
However, you will get to know all these attunements at school.
I repeat, all these people, there are thousands of them here, are not bad, have not known any animal life, but have to discard themselves.
I could show you hundreds of others with similar situations, but I will suffice with this since you can imagine all those other situations.
Look, there is our building.’”