Rotterdam is burning
Father went ahead of me.
All kinds of thoughts crossed my mind.
I reflected upon my lives, in so far as I now knew about them, and followed both personalities who played a role in them.
It was remarkable to see how neither of them wished to come to the foreground now.
It was as though they had gone to sleep.
Their silence gradually came over on me.
It was not sleep, you could call it a feeling of peace which came to me.
I welcomed it at this stage, when my emotional life was gradually awakening, which demanded a lot of my strength from me.
I let the benevolent peace soak into me for a while.
We were moving very slowly.
With his thoughts to himself, father floated ahead of me.
However, then it became clear to me that I had to make peace with both personalities in me, if I wanted to be ready to experience new situations in Rotterdam.
I recognized that these feelings originated from father.
And he was right, I had to know how I should act.
If I considered Theo’s life, then this put Jack under the obligation to be patient and stay away.
I discussed this with Jack Theo now had to experience his life and this required me to devote myself completely to him.
Jack accepted it easily, he was older than Theo and more aware.
He also had peace within him, a peace which was different to that of Theo.
I now knew that both of them understood each other, which was beneficial to my character, since this showed that harmony lived within me.
It was educational, I thought, to stand outside yourself like this and to follow the personalities which had developed in you, in their thoughts and feelings.
Then soon they would become as one within me, which would allow me to gain consciousness in the spirit.
The nearer we come to Rotterdam the more Theo takes over me.
He wants me to listen to him.
I do so and see that I begin to feel and think very differently.
This is necessary, he lets me know, because I will feel and think very differently in this city, there are a number of problems, which father must make clear to me there.
The question now occurs to me what father wants to sort out there.
Does he have to go back to the shop we used to own?
I have absolutely no idea.
But then suddenly I have to think of the war again.
It is the aeroplanes which I see passing, which take my thoughts back to the war.
Will I have to witness more misery?
Is it not enough yet?
I shudder when I think of the monstrosities which passed before my eyes.
I have barely recovered from the shocks they gave me; do I have to prepare myself yet again for new suffering?
However, one look at father is enough to make me realize that I must calmly submit to his plans.
He knows what is useful and necessary for me.
I shudder when the aeroplanes with thundering engines race past us.
How I hate those terrible birds.
What suffering they sowed in our midst with their destructive bombing.
And when I tune in to it, I suddenly know that it was one of their missiles which tore me from life.
Where are they going now?
A fear comes into me.
I look around and see that father and I are not floating here alone.
Several astral beings are going in the same direction.
My fear increases even more, where there are so many spiritual beings together – I experienced it in the Grebbe-line – something is about to happen.
Will it be in Rotterdam?
I cannot control my impatience and want to know what the birds of prey are planning.
I now go faster than the aeroplanes, the tension drives me onward.
Father adjusts to this.
Having arrived in the vicinity of Rotterdam, fear grips my heart like an iron fist.
The war has also spread to this city.
A shudder runs through me.
Will the Germans really do what I suddenly start to feel?
But that is impossible, after all, isn’t it?
They would not dare to.
No, I do not believe that, I cannot believe that.
Have the Germans lost all their human feelings then?
Would they dare to set fire to a city?
To throw bombs from the sky on defenceless women and children?
Would they not even recoil from a cowardly large-scale assassination?
No, no, my God, they would not dare to defy your holy laws in this way.
My Rotterdam, oh, Rotterdam.
What will my city have to go through?
Where is Germany taking life to on earth?
Will its leaders dare to command such a barbaric thing, such a horrific thing?
Is there not a trace of love in them?
Throwing bombs on people, who will not be able to flee anywhere, trapped as they are between the walls of their houses.
How many victims will there be here, what immeasurable suffering will be caused here?!
Oh, bitter, terrible questions.
This cannot be.
These feelings within me must be wrong.
But then my eyes see the aeroplanes again which are now circling above the city.
And I can see the terrible swastikas, their devils’ crosses.
No, I now know that my feelings were right, the Germans will commit the horrific crime and throw bombs on unwary citizens.
And will these ‘soldiers’ take part in this, will not one of them refuse to carry out such a horrific and cruel order?
Will they really prove to be so essentially rotten, so rotten inside?
But there must also be faithful, law-abiding Catholics and Protestants amongst them, my God, and they are not resisting their devilish commanders, but, as if this is to honour You, will burn, tear apart and wipe out thousands of their fellow Christians, their brothers and sisters, Your children, my God, as though they were vermin?
How will I find the words for the feelings which I am now flooded with.
So many come to me, pain, sorrow, indignation, disillusionment.
But how can people, who believe in a God and want to serve Him, how can they attack His children in a beastly way and as a result of this, slap His face in cold blood?
They immediately prove to me that they can do it.
The first aeroplanes dive downwards, creating a frightful roaring.
Then the bombs start to fall, and they continue to fall, thrown by people on people, on men, women, children, on sick people and old people.
Houses and churches are shattered by their explosions, terrible scenes take place.
Desperate, amidst their shaking walls, which do not offer any protection, the poor people wait, wringing their hands, for their death.
What horrors I have to witness.
This is millions of times worse than the hell in the Grebbe-line.
There soldiers were stabbed, who had weapons and could defend themselves with them.
Here bombs are dropped systematically in cold blood on defenceless citizens.
We were fighting in an open field, but here the people are trapped like rats, since they are surrounded by stone walls.
They cannot leave, there is nowhere to go where they will be safe.
They are crushed under an avalanche of rubble.
I close my eyes, I can, nor wish to see it any longer.
But I have to look, the engines throbbing, the bombs shrieking and dropping, people screaming, all of it forces me to open my eyes.
I see how a man with a child under his arm walks out of a burning house, however, he does not get far, because a bomb explodes at his feet and blows him and the infant to pieces.
Oh, my God, my God, my God, I repeat it, ten, twenty times.
I look at father and he takes over my feelings.
Yes, he nods, people can do that, people are still capable of such loathsome deeds.
Now I also understand why I have to look, soon I will have to write about all of this.
And I now immediately pray with all the strength and longing within me, that I will be able to find the words in order to make it clear to humanity, where their will for destruction, for power will take them.
I will then shout it out: People of the earth, never take the life of your neighbour, never kill, not even in war, because even in that situation you will not find any justification for it in God’s eyes.
Do not hate your brother and sister, because the dark spheres of hell will await you and will hold you until you see that you only serve God by loving everything which lives.
My words will have to burn then so that they are engrained in the hearts of everyone who reads my book, for the salvation of his own immortal soul.
My eyes look down again, where the fate of my good city is unfolding.
Heavy clouds of smoke spread, bursts of flame shoot upwards from the burning houses, whole blocks appear to be a sea of fire.
The cries of frenetic people mingle with the roaring and crackling.
I have to witness strange incidents.
I see how a woman runs out of her house, she has a dog and a cat in her arms.
She is trying to save them, but behind her, above the roaring of the flames, her children scream in the throes of death.
How can it be, a mother who does everything to save her pets and forgets her children as a result ...
Father has to explain it to me.
This woman loved animals all her life, they meant so much to her that she put them before her fellow human beings.
Of course, she loved her children, but her love was still not so great as to fill her whole life with it.
She could not do without her animals, worshipped them, in short, she was obsessed with dogs and cats.
At the terrible moment of the bomb explosion when she was faced with a decision, she followed the voice of her unconscious soul and ran out of the burning house with her animals, thereby abandoning her children to the fire.
Only when she was already well away from the house, did she think about them and shout their names, however, it was too late then.
Love animals, father says, but never forget that they belong to the unconscious type and certainly may never be placed above a human being!
Another mother runs out of her house, screaming, and only saves the stove poker.
Why exactly did she choose this iron object?
She has a strangling fear of death.
Hatred also lives in her.
She wants to fight for her life with this poker, she wants to attack the Germans, whom she hates as her enemies.
She lives only for these feelings during these terrible moments.
As a result of this her children die in the fire ...
Poor mother, in every one of your actions the degree of your love and your consciousness is revealed.
In this way a person betrays the depth of his personality for anyone who may read into his soul.
On earth this would not have been possible, here in the life of the spirit, your being is open and you cannot hide any of your emotions.
Oh, how I would love to be on earth, armed with the knowledge of the soul.
How many psychiatrists I could then take care of, be able to help in their responsible task.
I pray to God, that He will give me, and the many who have gained this knowledge on the side beyond, the grace of a new life for this purpose.
Rotterdam is burning like a torch.
Thousands of its inhabitants find death in the roaring flames, or are crushed under falling bricks.
And while the pilots continue their abhorrent work, the spirits of love on the side beyond are busy supporting their loved ones, or bringing them to the peace of the spheres.
I suddenly wonder how much time lies between my passing over and the bombing of Rotterdam.
Four days, father lets me feel.
Four days, I repeat, four days.
But then – then my wife and child were also in this town at this point?
I close my eyes.
I have to think.
Has my house ... have my wife and child been ...?
I ask father to take me to my parents-in-law’s house.
I am already running ahead of him, I know the way here.
The house is no longer there, it has been transformed to rubble.
Then father connects me to what happened here.
I see the house before me.
My mother-in-law is pouring tea and talking to my wife and child.
Then the aeroplanes approach, the bombs make the house shake.
They cling to each other in fear.
Then I hear the terrible roaring of a bomb which penetrates your bones, a terrible blow, screaming, which is muffled by the falling rubble.
I see them lying mutilated under the walls, which cover them like gravestones.
Immediately sisters and brothers from the spheres approach them, they release the souls from the bodies and take them away, unconscious.
My God, are my wife and child here as well?
Father, did you know that?
How could you keep that from me for so long?
May I see Annie, father?
Can I help her?
And my child?
Is she with her?
Father lets me know that I will see her again.
Soon we will leave the earth and we will hurry to the spheres.
There he will show me where my wife and child are living.
Of course, father is right, everything happens here in its own good time.
But it all came so suddenly.
I have to deal with it.
Annie and my child, my Liesje, are dead to the earth.
They are with me in eternal life.
So they went to Rotterdam to find their deaths there.
That is why I felt that fear when I took them to the train.
My feelings already told me then that something terrible would happen.
Annie, Annie, I keep saying her name.
I want to see her, to see her face before me.
What did she look like?
It’s an effort to imagine her face.
I can just see her vaguely and soon her face has gone again.
That is very different with Liesje, her sweet face shines towards me, I know every line, it is familiar to me.
Father comes to my aid.
This is the emotional life speaking, he explains.
You had emotional contact with Liesje, she lives in your soul, is a part of you, since you are bonded by love.
With Annie that is different, she is a stranger to you, because she did not know how to give herself to you.
Annie, where are you living now?
Have you already experienced that reality here is the same as everything I told you from my books?
How do you see the world now?
Will you now be able to accept it?
Why couldn’t you have believed me then?
The Germans took your life and that of thousands of other people.
How will they ever be able to make up for this crime with regard to God and humanity?
And what will happen to all those people who were torn from life with a terrible shock?
Can that have been God’s will?
Otherwise why did He not intervene?
Why did He not destroy those murderers?
Do the devils of hell have such great power?
Can even God not protect us from them then?
Such a lot of questions are revealed to me.
I have to know all of this, or my life will stand still.
I look at father.
He will help me and provide me with the answers, which will put an end to these tormenting questions for me and millions of people.