To hell

“The brother came to collect me after I had told him that I was ready.
From my sphere hundreds descended and I would meet them at the border of the dark areas.
My own master guided me there and he would influence me from his own sphere and help me.
I now knew that this was possible, because I had learned it.
However, I will never forget the moment of separation.
When he looked me in the eye and placed all his great love there so that my soul was brimming from that awe-inspiring power, I sank to my knees again and thanked him for everything.
However, he did not want any thanks; a person who works here for others never wants to hear about thanks.
My master went back, in order to help another person.
I was divided into a small column.
First, we had to sit for a few tests and then concentrate on a secret sign, by which we, the brothers, would recognize each other.
That sign was a star with seven points, the symbol of spiritual attunement.
No one who did not possess any attunement would not be able to see this sign.
Some possession was therefore already in me, even if it was so little, but I was awake and anyone who is awake, was conscious and lived.
I now felt very calm.
Around me, I saw a reddish brown light, but the deeper we would descend, the darker it would become.
If I had known what awaited me, then I would not have been so calm, I would not have been able to control myself.
Of course, I was curious where we would be taken.
It had to be horrible there.
The tests, which we had to take took a good while, but when that was also over, we were spoken to and also made aware of different possibilities.
Amongst us were skilled guides, many of them had already descended various times, and they were still prepared to do this work, to help those poor people.
We had to control ourselves in the first place, the brother had also impressed that upon me before he had taken leave of me.
I already felt that it was dangerous there.
Finally, the time had come that would mean a great moment for me in the history of progress.
We divided into hundreds of groups.
There were five in our group, and amongst us, there was a skilled guide.
We did not descend through the gates of hell, but the guides connected directly with the inside.
If they did not do that, then they would soon be attacked, as the guides told us and I later also understood.
Yet, I still felt calm, but when we started to connect and were therefore absorbed in that state and started to accept that life, a dreadful fear overcame me and the feeling came over me as if someone was unexpectedly strangling me.
‘Those who descend for the first time feel this the most intensely’, said the guide.
I thought it was terrible, because the brothers who had descended with me had changed and seemed like animals.
I also got a terrible fright from this, although I had already learned all of this at school.
Nevertheless, it overcame me and you now understand how useful these spiritual lessons are.
When this was over and I had recovered a bit, we walked through streets, like on earth, but the human hyenas lured around, who would jump on us if they got the chance.
The guide had helped me and the others who had received a terrible fright, and went onwards, towards the unknown and animal life.
We did not have to wait long.
Then I smelled a terrible stench, the aura of those who lived here.
I also knew about it and it therefore passed me by, but through everything, I felt my heart beat and I was no longer calm.
Your leader explained all of this to you and the master says that I do not need to tell you anything about it.
But I thought of you, Jozef, that you had the courage to stand up to all of this as an earthly person and you endured it.
All the dark powers had now gone through me and I had been absorbed into hell with the others.
This life had swamped us.
Here millions of people lived together, all wretches of the earth.
Here I would have to work and remain for a long time.
The guide pointed out to me that a few had come to blows.
I looked at the place where they were fighting, in a few seconds there were a hundred.
Those who fell kicked and beat people off them until they fell unconscious.
Even then, they were not left alone and they were dragged on until they were a dreadful sight.
I was bothered by so much cruelty and clenched my fists, ready to fly at them, because this was no longer human.
However, the guide stopped me and said: ‘Do you want to be destroyed?
Did you not learn that passing over means destruction and connection?’
I knew it and yet I had not thought about it.
They lay on top of each other like animals and I saw blood.
Knowing that people live in the spirit, it is almost incredible, but I had heard speak of it at school.
The people beaten emitted frightening cries.
With another brother, we finally saw the chance to free one of them from under their claws.
He was an old man and he was unconscious.
They had almost torn him apart.
Whatever are you doing in this life, I thought.
We carried him far away and waited until he would regain consciousness.
The brother next to me, who had already descended several times, laid his hands on him.
I would not have thought about this and yet I was told about this at school, as well as everything that I would experience in this life.
People knew this life exactly in the higher spheres.
Deep wrinkles lay in the face of the man and this human being looked like an old wild animal.
How far he had descended, and which sins had he committed?
He wept and called for his mother when he had come to a bit.
As a result of magnetic radiation, he had soon regained consciousness.
These rays work wonders in this life.
How terrible it is to have to hear that an ancient man calls for his mother.
How terrible I found that.
‘Oh, help me’, he moaned.
‘Oh, that vermin!’
‘We want to help you’, the brother said to him, ‘come, follow us!’
The wretch looked at us, his eyes were bloodshot.
However, he continued to look at us.
Suddenly he called out: ‘Go away from me, leave, leave me alone.’
He threw various swear words at us and curses and we would have been destroyed if his words had been turned into deeds.
However, we pretended that we did not hear him and tried to calm him down.
‘We are friends’, said the brother to him, but he had apparently not yet met any friends.
He looked at us as if he wanted to tear us apart.
Now I saw for the first time how difficult it was to convince these people of another life.
He did not go into what we said and just shouted to leave him alone.
He swore and cursed at all of us, even God, and before we knew it, he had jumped up and disappeared from our sight.
The darkness had swallowed him up again and his old, but new life started from the very beginning.
I had received my first lesson, I had wanted to help a human being, but he did not want to be helped.
Whatever we had said to him, it did not matter.
We dissolved in the crowd again and at the corner of a street, in a dark recess, I saw another human being.
Would he need help?
I approached the being and started to speak to him.
He was a human being who looked just as wild as that other man, but was a bit younger.
The brother was standing next to me.
‘Can we do anything for you?’
‘For me?’ he said disbelievingly.
‘Yes, for you.
We are your brothers.’
At the same moment we heard him say: ‘Get lost as far as I am concerned; ha, ha, brothers!’
Now for the first time I saw how wild and savage this being was.
Yet, we did not give up and I said: ‘Come, there is another land, where you will no longer be attacked.
Follow us, say goodbye to this life, and do not stay here.
If you want you can start another life.’
However, he also left the place where we had found him.
Now we were alone and separated from the other brothers, amidst this cesspool of lust and horror.
The brother led me to another area where only caves and hovels were to be seen, in which people lived.
He had been here on his last trip and he wanted to go back there.
Having walked around for a while, he found the place again and we found ourselves amidst the greatest misery that I had ever seen.
We heard moaning and went in that direction.
A human being needed help.
Soon we had reached that place and in a dark hovel lay a human being.
It emitted moans from that darkness, from which I could hear that it was a woman.
What would I experience now?
When we approached, I saw for the first time how inhumanly deep and miserable this life was.
A woman?
A mother on earth and yet sunk so deeply?
I thought about those I had seen with my master on earth.
Was she one of them?
‘What did you do wrong’, I asked the being, ‘that you ended up in this life, in this misery?’
Not a word passed her lips.
She had almost no more clothes on.
She started to moan even more loudly and she called to us to disappear.
Her clothes, I saw, were torn to shreds.
She called to us: ‘Go away!’
She thought that we were also devils.
‘Leave me alone.’
Meanwhile, I thought: But how remarkable that all of them want to be left alone, what are they doing here then?
‘We want to help you’, said the brother.
‘I know what that helping means’, she said and started to moan again.
She recoiled at every step we took towards her.
‘You cursed men; I know that helping.
All of you are cursed.
You want to possess us and then leave us behind like rags.
I would rather suffocate’, she said.
I understood that her soul had been torn apart and that her heart was bleeding.
However, much we tried to convince her, she did not want it.
‘Nest of vipers, dogs, animal monsters, I would rather suffocate’, she repeated.
‘With violence, but then over my dead body.’
In God’s name, I thought, what has she experienced, but I could guess everything and thought it was awful.
The brother influenced her by concentration and as a result of that, she became a bit calmer.
I stood bent over and spoke to her.
I could not see what was happening around me and behind me.
I was too engrossed in my work to help her, that I could have watched out for that.
Suddenly, she let out a terrible cry and before I knew it, we were both attacked.
She shouted skunks and vermin, but all her shouting was lost in this tumult.
A wild looking human beast had me and her in his claws.
I rolled on the ground and over her and clung to her, because I did not want to let her go.
Meanwhile, I hammered at the animal, but it was as if a fly wanted to attack an elephant; I had nothing to contribute.
I lost consciousness and I no longer know what else happened to the both of us.
In a quiet area, in another neighbourhood and freed from that dark hell, I regained consciousness.
The poor woman was still unconscious.
The monster had almost suffocated me and I asked the brother what had happened.
‘We were freed by other brothers’, he said, ‘and we are now in another sphere.’
‘Thank God’, I said.
‘Can they not reach us here?’
‘No, that is not possible!’
‘Where is that animal?’ we heard her ask.
‘Be calm’, the brother said.
As a result of the help of the brother, who had given me a good magnetic treatment, I had soon recovered again.
I still felt those dreadful claws around my throat.
What vermin that was, which had attacked us.
I looked at the poor woman and was happy that she had remained in our midst.
She was also helped.
The brother now tried to free me from the crushing belt with a few magnetizing stroking movements, which he managed completely.
Then I could think better and felt my powers returning.
Now the woman asked:
‘Where am I?’
‘Remain calm, soon you will feel better, no danger threatens here.’
Now I had therefore become acquainted with life after death in hell, and had not been very warmly received.
The woman had immediately fallen asleep again; we let her sleep peacefully and would wait until she awakened.
The brother said: ‘When we were attacked, a few of us answered her cry for help and saw what kind of situation you were in.
I had freed myself by returning to my own attunement, because I was not capable of overcoming that animal alone.
You must also try to prevent this; you learned that, did you not?
You have to keep trying to stay out of their hands and to approach the wretches with tactics, but you will gradually learn all of this.
Yet you could have protected her and that was really not so simple.’
Meanwhile the woman had returned to consciousness and had apparently heard our conversation.
In any case she knew that she had passed into good hands.
She looked at us and said: ‘May I thank you?
Are there still good people to be found?
Can we still hope and trust again that we will be helped?
Is there a God who forgives us?
I want to follow you, I know that you mean well and do not want to go back there.
Oh, the man who brought me into that life, the man who destroyed my life!
Oh, that miserable wretch, who destroyed me!
I, who forgot everything, can and will God forgive me?
Oh God, how I have sinned, I who had given myself to that animal for eternity, which sullied me and dragged me into that abysmal misery.
I descended into the deepest depths with him, because I loved; how he has destroyed me.’
‘Mother, oh, mother’, she called out suddenly, ‘mother, come to me and forgive me for my sins; forgive me for what I did wrong.
Oh, mother, he kicked me, beat me, and sold me.
Oh that animal in human form!
I descended deeper and deeper, mother.
How long I have prayed, can you not hear me?
You will not be able to come to me and yet I know that you love me.
Oh, have mercy, my God and my mother.
I no longer want this life, and I do not want to go back.
I want to return to you; my God, forgive me for my sins.
Mother, mother, can you hear me?
People already told me long ago that I could call you and that you would come, but I did not dare to call.
Now I have already been calling you for some time, can you not hear me?
Mother, do not let it be in vain, or I will fall back; I can no longer endure it alone.’
I wept, Jozef, and the brother likewise.
Poor child, I thought, poor woman.
I sat next to her and prayed that her wish would be heard.
Suddenly her gaze became hazy and when I looked up, I admired a beautiful being, which seemed to be carried by illuminated clouds.
Before her eyes floated her mother.
She manifested herself in this darkness in order to save her child.
That was the love of a mother for her child!
At the last moment, there was intervention from the higher spheres.
Now she could be reached, I felt and saw it.
This was possible for a high spirit.
When the lost person begs deeply for forgiveness, then there is a connection and a prayer can work wonders.
The woman called to her mother and kept on weeping.
A wonderful scene took place before my eyes; it was moving.
I had not experienced anything so beautiful before.
‘Will you forgive me, mother?’ the poor woman called to the apparition.
The exalted being nodded with a happy smile on her beautiful face.
For an angel of light had descended into hell in order to help her own child.
‘Let me tell you what I did’, called the wretch.
‘Tell me nothing’, I now heard, ‘I know everything; God has forgiven you and work, work on yourself, I will support you from here.’
‘Mother, oh, come to me, why do you not descend from that height and come to me?
Mother, stay with me, dear mother.’
Her mother replied: ‘Dear child, I have to go, but I will come back to you.’
‘Oh, you are an angel, mother.
Will you come back?’
‘I will come back, my child, I will watch over you.’
‘Thank God, my prayers have been answered; I knew’, I heard the beautiful being say, ‘that sooner or later she could be helped.’
Now the apparition dissolved and disappeared before our eyes.
I had been able to experience something amazing.
She had left for another sphere of existence, to her own heaven.
This moment was great and I experienced this in hell.
There were therefore also beautiful moments to be experienced here.
We carried the woman to the sphere of connection and passed her into other hands.
She was taken care of there and people would give her the first spiritual help.
How far she had strayed away, however, one being watched over her and that was her mother.
She had begged God for help and that help had come.
At the most unexpected moment the divine powers started to work and then connection was possible.
Now her child had returned to the good path.
It had moved me deeply, it was a wonderful moment, and I wanted to stand up to everything for that.
Only in hell did she feel the horror of her own life.
How she had suffered and only because she thought that she was in love.
She had loved an animal in human form.
Yet she had followed this monster, because the animal did not leave her alone and her own life had not been different to his.
How happy I felt that I had been able to help a human being for the first time.
I remained a short while with the brothers and sisters, and, when I felt well again, we both descended, after we had decided to remain together.
I felt the darkness and that stinking influence overcame me again.
It was horrible to experience this over and over again.
We wandered through the streets of the city again, which had been built up by hatred.
Everyone was afraid of being attacked, people avoided each other.
I saw places where people could drink, as people on earth knew, but this drink burned you inside.
This was something new to me, I was disgusted by it and we fled.
Yonder they fought like wild animals, but now I let them be; they could not yet be helped.
The master says that you have experienced all of this, I therefore do not need to tell you anything.
But I keep asking myself, Jozef: How could you deal with this as an earthly person?
The human being who passes over will experience all of this and he will ask himself this.
Because anyone who hears tell of the hell on our side and feels that he wants to enrich himself spiritually, will, as I, descend and will get to know all these situations.
Because it is spiritual wisdom, to know all of this.
Suddenly, we were spoken to.
Before us stood a few beings and amongst them was our guide.
We were pleased to meet them, I was extremely amazed when he asked me whether I had been able to help that poor woman.
‘Do you know about it then?’ I asked.
‘We know everything when we want to.
You see that we remain connected after all, also when you are alone.
I wanted to show you that you do not need to be afraid and that there are always helpers, wherever you are.’
This gave me a tremendous support; the guides watched out for the well-being of the younger brothers.
‘Concentration, my friend’, he said, and I understood him.
Then we separated again.
We had been in different buildings and I had already learned to know a lot about this life.
Yet, I would not be able to find the sphere of connection again under my own powers.
But I would find that out, in whatever way.
That was spiritual possession and I wanted to master that.
A glimpse of the animal life here had become visible to me.
I also saw various fights, but I did not go into them and just let them fight, because I had paid my premium.
We wandered round for hours and had come to the area of the caves and hovels again, unnoticed.
There was also fighting there and at a given moment I lost the brother and stood completely alone in that horror.
What now, I thought, how will I ever find the others again?
I searched and searched, but did not see on any being the star, from which I should recognize a brother.
I thought for a long time about what I should do.
Like a hunted deer, I raced from one street into the next.
People drove me to all sides, until I became hopelessly confused.
I could no longer concentrate because anxiety had overcome me.
As a result of this, I completely lost my concentration, and reached the decision to take position somewhere so that people could approach me.
If it were a brother, then I would be saved, and if it were one of those terrible people, then I would see.
I took position at the corner of a street and waited.
Why had I not convinced myself of the road I had taken with the brother?
I had not thought about that.
At the corner where I was standing, I was soon spoken to by a terrible individual.
‘What are you doing here?’
I had no answer ready and did not know what I would say, but I clenched my fists and was ready in case he would attack me.
Before I knew it, I was already involved in a terrible fight.
I rolled on the ground, the beast on top of me.
It was like a tiger.
What powers these beings possessed!
I was not a match for it, screamed blue murder and felt hopelessly lost.
Then I felt myself sinking away and knew nothing more.
When I opened my eyes, a few brothers were standing at my side; I was in the sphere of connection.
People had heard my cry for help and had freed me from his claws.
Those people here were dreadful and I had received a precious lesson again.
Through all that misery, I learned; yet, I had not entered here again under my own powers and I therefore started to become despondent.
How difficult it was to work there.
All of this had had an impact on me, and I wanted to go back to my own sphere, because I would not be able to endure it otherwise; I felt as if I were broken.
I thought about it for a long time.
It was too crazy, to be attacked and to have done nothing.
I pondered everything: to return to my own sphere or descend again.
I thought about my master and about all that he had told me.
‘You could fall back and be despondent and I should watch out for that’, he had said.
Yes, I was despondent and I doubted myself.
I remained in this mood for a long time.
But what had I conquered there?
How would I then be able to tell about this life?
I had not learned anything and I knew too little about these spheres.
Many people had already returned because they could not endure it.
In this state of doubt other thoughts came to me, and I felt that I was being helped from afar.
Was it my master who came to my aid?
No, I would not return despondent, a thousand times no, I told myself, what another could do I could also do.
Then I reported again and I descended with another column.
This time I heard the terrible lowing and screaming noise of the darkness.
Strange, I thought; that I had not heard this the first time I descended.
However, the guide told me that I was still not yet connected.
There you have it, I thought, what little I still know about this life.
What I heard was horrific.
It was as if a hurricane was coming, a storm of lust and violence.
Yet, I was pleased that I had descended again, because I now felt strong and rested.
People had explained to me that I had to think of myself.
Now I would watch out for myself and be more careful.
We were back between the caves and hovels; the people who had sunk the deepest lived there, they needed help and could usually be reached.
They isolated themselves from the crowd and asked for help, something that I only learned to understand now.
Somewhere else I saw wringing hands sticking out of crevices, which asked for help.
Yet, if people reacted to their cry for help, then your hands would be broken.
These beings could not be helped.
I learned to know he powers with which people could sense who could be helped and who could not.
Our guide pointed out to me that we were in the sphere of people who committed suicide.
I had not yet seen this state.
Here I saw the murderers from the earth, all of them had come here in an unnatural way.
Women and men were together.
They felt their pains and sorrows as I had felt mine, but what a difference in suffering, sorrow and misery.
With ropes around their necks, holes in their heads, in short, they lay down there in the most dreadful misery.
With women I saw horrible scenes, they lived in their sins and all those horrors lay like forms around them; they could not free themselves from them.
Here I saw people in the most inhuman state, which people cannot imagine.
I trembled from all that misery.
States, which I do not wish to and cannot describe, because I cannot put the true misery of it into words anyway.
What was my misery compared to theirs?
I was a child in evil, but had not committed such sins and did not know them.
However, dear Jozef, they could not be helped.
How much did they still have to discard?
The people who committed suicide are therefore the most wretched beings on this side.
They cannot be helped for many years.
I already said that they extend wringing hands, but woe, if they get hold of you.
First, they have to lose all of that wildness, therefore discard it, then bow their heads and get enough of this life, before that they cannot be reached.
Yet amongst them were people who had already reached this state and we would visit these people.
They come here maimed from the earth and will remain maimed for a long time, until they want to start another life.
Can you understand that these people need hundreds of years before they can release themselves from their misery?
I had already needed a few years for this.
In one second, they put themselves in this state, in this terrible attunement.
As a result of a shot, a piece of rope, or a jump in the water, they place themselves in this misery and that costs them numerous years of sorrow.
All of this is reality; this is human misery!
Oh, I cannot bear thinking about what I experienced there.
Yet, those people do that to themselves, because God is a Father of love.
He did not want this.
I could go on about this for a long time, but all that misery, I already said, is indescribable.
Our guide and the others were ahead of me, when I suddenly heard someone shouting for help.
It was a soft painful call, so I thought that someone needed help and wished for it.
I wanted to try it again, but I would be careful.
Again, I tried to listen, and yes, I heard someone calling softly for help.
‘Help, help me’, someone called with a hoarse sound.
I had remained still in order to listen; now I moved a bit closer and heard it again.
‘Are you calling me?’ I asked politely.
‘Yes’, said the voice, ‘help me.’
I wriggled through a crevice and in a corner of the hovel I saw a person.
He lay there crouched.
I dared to go a bit closer and asked again: ‘May I help you?
Do you wish to be helped?’
‘Yes, I want to leave here, oh, do not leave me alone.’
I got a tremendous shock; I had once also called out these words.
I knew that ‘do not leave me alone’, it cut my soul.
I would help him.
How dreadful this old man looked.
‘Do not hurt me’, it said.
‘No’, I said, ‘I will not hurt you, I will help you.’
I would have to act fast; the sooner I was away from here with him the better for both of us.
He was an old man and I was very happy that I had listened and could help him.
I pulled him to a protruding point, so that I could put him on my back, because he could apparently neither stand or walk.
His legs were lame and swung on his body.
On the other side of the crevice, I could disappear with him and I was soon on my way.
However, now I was faced with a great problem.
How could I find the sphere of connection?
I considered and considered, but did not know what I should do.
I asked him calmly to stay and concentrated, and really, I felt myself becoming lighter.
That becoming lighter meant that I had gone from that dreadful influence and had passed into another state.
My own body started to change and I felt as a result of it that I was on the right path.
Yes, I felt it; I had found the right way.
Yet it was not easy to make progress; something held me back, but I did not know what.
Yet, I wanted to go further, away from this hell of misery.
Finally, it was a bit easier, and when I was sure that I had left the darkness, I rested.
I laid him carefully on the ground and had a good look at him.
How terrible that poor man looked.
What evil had he committed?
‘How did you get there?’ I asked.
However, he did not go into my question and asked: ‘Where are we, where are you taking me?’
‘Oh, do not get anxious about anything, no evil will happen again, I will make sure of that.’
The man wrung his hands and said nothing.
Perhaps, I thought, he was now really prepared to start another life.
‘How long have you been down there?’ I asked him again.
‘It could be years’, he said.
‘Do you know that you died on earth?’
‘Yes, I know that’, he answered me short and stiffly.
So, I thought, you know that, however, at the time I did not know that.
‘Are we going?’
‘Yes, we will leave.’
I put him on my back again and there I went.
It became continually more difficult and I wanted to rest again.
‘Will it take long’, he said, ‘before we are at the place where I will find peace?’
What does he know about peace, I thought.
No one here knew anything about spiritual peace.
Who or what was he?
I was no longer afraid that I would not find the place, because now I could orientate myself and go in the right direction.
The man pretended that the darkness and life no longer concerned him.
I had not yet seen such a type.
With many, I had seen tears, but he apparently did not yet feel any suffering and sorrow about the many sins that he had committed.
‘Where do you get that peace from’, I asked him unexpectedly, ‘did you get to know that in the darkness?’
I found my question stupid and unclear, but it had already happened.
‘That peace?’ he said.
‘But you said that you will take me to another land where it will be peaceful?
I surrender to you.’
I was defeated again.
Curious, this chap, I thought.
In any case not as those wild ones down there and yet he had lived there.
I did not understand anything about this attunement.
‘Will we continue?’
Was he afraid, or was it curiosity; what did he really feel?
In amazement I said: ‘You are not as unhappy as I had thought.’
He smiled and said: ‘If you were able to concentrate better and to use your powers, not to think too much about the people there and to concentrate more on your own situation, then you would already have known who I am.’
I looked at the being in surprise and there before me sat my own guide.
He had discarded his disguise.
What is it this time, I thought, what does this mean?
‘Now you know how to find the land of Twilight.
I have admired your courage and willpower to make progress and therefore decided to help you.
I know about your life and we will support those who mean it seriously with all the powers that are in us.
Truly, I am satisfied.
Of the hundred novices seventy-five have already come back, all of them succumbed.
From the beginning I influenced you and held you back, as a result of which I achieved that you learned to strengthen your concentration.
The passing into other states unknown to us is accepting that attunement inwardly.
You still did not accept and I now helped you in this.
Now you can reach this land under your own powers.’
My joy was great.
Even if I had really fallen for it, I had still learned something.
My guide said: ‘You carried me, but I taught you, and in particular do not forget, whoever you enter into connection with, to concentrate on your own attunement.
As a result of this, you feel the life of another and you know how to act.
By connecting with another person, you pass into that life.
Are you ready to follow me?
Then I will now show you all the transitions that we know in the darkness.’
Again, I descended and experienced terrible things.
I went from one world to another, and one problem was even more difficult than the previous one.
What I had seen up until now was child’s play in comparison.
I learned to concentrate in all the transitions and we descended deeper and deeper, to the lowest spheres.
Then we returned.
We found the other brothers and then I started to help the wretches again.
I brought many of them above; I saw exalted states and deeply tragic ones.
I saw that a father found his child again in this darkness, and both wept, wept for a long time.
I saw children with children, and mothers, who despite everything, could not be stopped and had descended to their loved ones, in order to visit them in this horror, year after year, until finally their searching was rewarded.
I saw heartrending scenes take place.
I thanked my master, since I felt his powers that had kept me going.
Now I knew hell with all its depths and horrors.
All of this had made a different person of me.
I had got to know hell in life after death; I knew now how connections were achieved, I had learned to concentrate and the main thing was that I had done something for others.
When I came up with my last wretch, people told me that I no longer needed to descend since my column would go back to our own sphere.
The others did not keep us waiting long and soon we were ready to leave.
Now we could breathe a bit easier.
We had been down there for nine months, according to earthly time.
Nine months of misery, excitement and horror.
Five minutes of these on earth is already an eternity for the human being.
Yet, in addition to coping with all these demonic influences, no, I will say it honestly; all of us were very pleased that we could return to our own attunement in order to rest for a time.
We floated towards the spheres of light.
My first trip to hell was at an end, but, as I said, I had become a different person.
How great my happiness was to see my master at the place for taking our leave.
I do not need to tell you how we greeted each other.
He knew about my adventures, therefore another piece of proof how people on this side can remain in connection with each other.
Again I saw the nature in my own sphere differently, all the gloominess had now disappeared.
I daydreamed for a long time and when I was ready, I went for long walks again.
The people with whom I had spoken were still the same as I had left them.
They did not even consider starting.
How many years would have to pass before they would also be able to start working on themselves?
To do something for others, they did not even think about it.
I felt very happy, in reality nothing had changed here, only I had.
I saw this the clearest from the people whom I knew.
In my sphere, I was warmly received and there was a party in honour of those who had returned.
Many women were still weeping so much that I thought that they would weep their souls dry, until there was not a tear left in them.
They were pitiful people and what would people hope to achieve with these beings?
After all, they could not be helped.
I had achieved a great deal and yet I was not at the place where I wanted to be.
I was not satisfied with the result, because I wanted to reach the first sphere.
After I had mastered everything, as far as the deepest problems and had penetrated nature, I therefore looked for the brother after some time and now he told me, that we would begin on another journey.
Again, I got to know all kinds of transitions; then we went to the earth and after a year, we went back to our sphere.
The brother gave me many tests.
Now I could pray, because I had learned in that time how people could send up a simple prayer.
Before we went back to our sphere, I had already decided to descend again for a few years.
Now my journey to the darkness would take a few years, because now there was no longer any doubt in me.
I was conscious of everything I did and I knew how I had to connect, whatever would happen to me.
Now I would not have to suffer so much as on my first journey, even if it lasted longer.
I will not describe this journey to you.
It is sufficient when I say that I descended and that I did not hesitate for a second to give myself completely where help was needed.
Two full years passed before I came up again.
Long to the earth, but just a flash to eternity.
Yet, in that flash, I had carried out a great deal of work, I had been able to change much suffering into happiness and I had learned an immeasurable amount.
I alleviated wounds and healed souls.
Oh, how much there is to be done there!
We will not stop before hell has changed into a Sphere of Light.
When that time had also passed and we returned to our own sphere, my master collected me from the border of the darkness and we entered my sphere together.
Now I no longer saw autumn, in me lay the quiet peace of a good spiritual attunement.
The greyness, which I had seen and felt in everything, had disappeared.
I stayed in the nature for a long time, meditated and thought about everything I was allowed to experience.
I had mastered all the psychic laws, which I was taught at school, I mean those of the hells of the earth up to those of my own attunement.
When I had finished with meditating, the brother said that we would undertake a new journey.”