The human machine turns day in day out, if nothing goes wrong with it, and if you know how to treat it properly.

The clockwork cannot take throwing and flinging and if you still have to treat it by rebelliousness, then there will be bruises and bleeding noses and the little machine will be knocked out of shape.

And Jeus experienced that!

He made a swing in the back of the yard for his little brother Hendrik, and now the somewhat wild Hendrik wants to fly high.

Swinging is great, but then the rope broke and Hendrik fell to the ground.

The machine screamed really loudly.

Wageman hears it and lashes out immediately.

Although Hendrik called out: “Jeus cannot help it, it is not his fault that the rope broke” Wageman does not hear that and beats on Jeus.

He races into the front room, but he gets a beating there as well, so bad, that he lashes back to angry Wageman:

“Now you can still take me on, can’t you, but I will also become eighteen years old and then we will talk again.”

Are you satisfied, Hendrik?

You have beaten Jeus black and blue, given him a terrible bleeding nose as well, and he can make do with that.

Crisje talks to Wageman, but that does not help now, it has happened and it is Jeus!

He just runs into the woods again and forgets it.

Why can adults not think?

Why does that man hit him immediately?

Why can a man not admit that you’re right?

Father first wanted to get all the facts and if you were wrong, then, you got a hiding.

But that hiding did not mean anything, you knew that you had done wrong; then you should have listened.

However, this is an entirely different matter.

This is nothing!

Whether Wageman also thinks about it like this, he does not know.

Crisje tries to make him understand that, but Wageman cannot understand.

She tries to make it clear to him that her boys never got a hiding, if they had not done anything wrong to deserve it.

Hendrik, the Tall One was a good judge!

Is that perhaps not worthwhile, Wageman?

Fathers have to learn that.

Or you will lose their respect!

Even a child knows that!

Bringing up a child means everything!

Wageman has nothing, nothing at all to do with that upbringing.

That used to be the case, now that is a very different thing.

What the Tall One got up to with his children was nothing!

He knows better!

And then Crisje knew that she could not talk to this life, he does not understand upbringing, and still has to start on his own awakening for man and society.

However, you are now worried about it and have to get on in life, but each day now gives you something else.

Wageman now plays at being the captain of a ship which has sailed the seas, but which was steered by a strong character, which he doesn’t have.

The ship’s papers look good and every decent and right-thinking person can see: in the first place order!

Wherever you look, from day to day, you see and experience that order.

Yes, Crisje knows her Tall One was a captain of the highest order, he knew it!

And this one knows nothing!

The human complaining and questioning ‘what have I started,’ is not there either.

We are in a new ship and have to carry on, continually further, and we must make of it what we can.

Does Wageman not wish to understand this then?

Crisje has taken them to task one by one, the sailors, and workers of her little ship, they have promised her they will do everything to make it to the captain’s liking.

Yes, they want to fight for his life.

They will make every effort, every effort, they understand well what is demanded of their lives and human strengths and life is difficult enough already, but there are no more worries now.

Before, life was difficult.

Today everything happens of its own accord.

But the captain is not willing.

Theet Egging got his money, those good people did not even want the money from Crisje, but that is not possible, they also have their own worries and can you believe it, the land lease is not there any more either.

Really, this captain has already changed a lot of things and for the better.

Only his character is not yet willing, that spiritual side reacts to North and South and sometimes has some of all the wind directions which Crisje and the boys do not know what to do with.

Why did he beat me so severely, why can the boss not just listen?

It is because the boss did not want to listen, the boss does not want to forgive or forget, this boss hits out immediately.

He has a bit of a wild way and you only see that sort of behaviour in arenas and such places, of which he possesses the characteristics of the bull and thinks that it is good.

What do you want, Crisje?

By discussing those things you will certainly not make it, you need something else for this.

You must treat these characters and take care of them, you will learn that as well: letting them steam in their own juices, simmering is clearer!

Crisje follows Wageman in his thoughts.

She tries to find out how she can best serve this life.

The boys follow her one by one; they listen to mother.

Hendrik Wageman is served like a count, a king is nothing in comparison.

Yet, it is not working.

The captain does not see any of it, the man grumbles, and that is the most terrible thing for Crisje that there is.

The Tall One was always able to do that.

Never ever, because grumbling is like a poisonous moth, which eats away at your soul and happiness, which undermines everything.

Grumbling has to leave the world, it should be forbidden, those people always dig and never follow the laws of life, or of church and faith, or of kind-heartedness and companionship, these types of characters are as sour as vinegar and you do not like them.

It is much worse than vinegar; it destroys you!

Crisje cannot talk to Trui, she has to analyse this character for herself and, for Trui there is now a firm hand, which is urgently needed.

Trui has no understanding of grades of consciousness either, which a person can possess and which is a part of the character and only becomes the personality much later, a person is understood here and accepted by his actions.

There is no place in this big world where this is not the case, everywhere you have to see actions and then you get to know the real person.

Was Hendrik always like that, Otto?

Yes, what can I say to you, Crisje, always just as quiet and thoughtful, always introverted, now and again you got an answer, but in general Hendrik did not become involved in anything.

There is no more than that, Crisje, and now work it out for yourself!

Could Hendrik never take a drink?

No, never ever, even at his age, sometimes one drink is already enough for him.

It is strange, but we experienced that, Hendrik can feel drunk from lemonade.

Also something strange for Crisje, but you can decide that for yourself and take care of as well, then you just do not drink any alcohol.

True or not, you are now taking care of yourself and the rest.

But, which hard-working man does not want the occasional diversion?

It is all that the men possess, a game of cards and then some fun, an hour of fun, there is nothing else to do here.

Is that not allowed?

The lovely talking of the men gives you courage and character, also the strength to bear this very difficult life.

Crisje doesn’t mind him having his bit of fun in the least, but then you can watch out for yourself, can’t you, Hendrik?

What will people say about it?

My Hendrik never did that, never ever!

He always made sure that he stayed with the people.

No one had any criticism of my Hendrik, no one!

Was Father not mad about Hendrik, my Tall One?

Crisje understands it, that has to come out now and from now on Wageman never hears anything more about ‘my Hendrik’, for that is a slap in his face.

Crisje chisels, she planes away day in day out, not only at herself, also at the boys.

Wageman will have a good life!

But that does not help at all.

Hendrik remains grumpy and rebellious, they cannot do anything with him, it is not working, and he flatly refuses!

Now just give up on it, but that is wasting your time and your life.

Now think about it, get to know the things inside; she will try to inspire that clockwork of Our Lord, which turns stiffly and unwillingly, by inspiring other laws and powers, so that life is pleasant and you can deal with it and bear it.

Because it is not working like this!

What is Hendrik Wageman like, Crisje?

There are so many of these characters in the world, who must still become familiar with the natural awakening of the other life.

They experience everything in disharmony; they flatly refuse to learn to think, because this longing is not yet there.

Hendrik is a sedate man, but is at odds with life.

There are types of people, Crisje; we call that grades of life for the social and spiritual consciousness.

If you now wish to remain in harmony with everything, then the inner life will get food from the willing personality; a person makes something of his life himself and the Tall One could do that.

Fatherhood and motherhood, Crisje, is now the highest thing for life on earth.

After all, if you are a good mother and father, all those other matters will work out for themselves and for Our Lord, and we are manageable as people.

Wageman has none of these feelings, none!

He is like an awkward child and yet also a person.

The Tall One wanted to try to understand everything, he doesn’t, and he does not make any effort at all.

If you only feel one objective, you can bring about a change in this, but it is not so simple.

You can now know why this life was sent to your Grintweg.

However, this world does not understand it.

Running out of his little bed-sit, this child is now standing right in the middle of life and has to act according to the daily goings-on of your own household, which he is now unable to do.

But then what?

The boys dangle along, are not really part of it, and have no significance for this life; they came along for him.

He does not feel that blood, nor those souls and cannot enjoy those great talks, as a result of which life had content for your Tall One and you, space as well and which he still has to learn.

If you want to take that life into you, then you will go through your children, now you follow these little souls completely as father and mother and this is your happiness, your task for this life, of course also means your bliss.

You live in a palace and you do not know yet, Hendrik sees it like that, in which room you can find Our Lord who is always there, but has to be searched for by HIS child.

By going to church, Crisje, you now see that, you will not make it either.

Father is talking to the deaf and dumb.

The many people here laugh behind his back, how does that man manage to keep going.

But, you know that as well, he will be proved right, anyway.

One day those show-offs will be faced with the Divine law and they can show what they are made of and bow their heads, there is no left or right, high or low to walk along, Crisje, you are then helpless!

Just look inside those little human hearts, Crisje!

They are already men, men as fathers, who have built up their fatherhood through suffering and sorrow and do not yet know how they have to act, if you want to experience some happiness as man and wife.

So what about Wageman?

I ask you that, what does Hendrik want to begin now?

He is a believer, he goes to church faithfully every Sunday, but does he learn and think?

No, that is not part of it and now you are faced with unkindness, human inaction, unwillingness, and a person living without objectives!

‘No one can force me to act differently, no one.

I am my own boss.’

Yes, they say that, they think that, but is that true?

Men say, ‘do you understand that Hendrik has dared to take this on?’

Is this daring?

If Wageman, and that will come, Crisje, that is irrevocable if you stick it out, begins to feel and understand in what kind of happiness he lives, then he will weep day in day out from emotion, from happiness, from human kind-heartedness, because then he will start to understand what sort of boys you and your Tall One possess, and how much love he can receive from these lives.

Is that not daring?

Is this a leap into the unknown?

We will get to know that as well.

What you now have to do is follow him and eventually show your personality.

You must also be father and mother at the same time, he still has to learn how to be a father.

The first days passed for Wageman by getting to know ... no, by hanging about, sitting there in his little corner.

Of course, Jeus threw a spanner in the works for a moment, he did not fall, on the contrary, he slept well, but he had to think about it seriously.

Now it seems he has started on it, but in the manner of an island dweller, alone and abandoned, and that between so much life and humanity.

Jeus beat a hole in his thoughts and feelings, he had not counted on that, of course.

Hendrik cannot understand that a child has so much love for a mother, and that is now impertinence.

Do you see it differently?

This is insolence with a spiritual and spatial basis, serving as a foundation, but for which Our Lord built HIS universe, all life therefore!

However, Wageman does not understand that.

It has briefly taken him by surprise, Crisje.

It does not yet get through to him what has happened, because that still has to be awakened and only afterwards can you talk to him.

Now there is a wall which he is faced with, and that has to go.

Then the first blow fell immediately and you saw his clumsiness as well, which brought the question of how should we adjust in order to prevent that, or we will have no life anymore.

Now just start thinking, start to follow him and challenge him, Crisje, he will probably also give you his charity.

But the whole universe of Our Lord has started it; the angels follow you, because it is worthwhile.

However, you must know that you are not the only person on earth who has to sort out these matters, who asks, ‘how should I act?’

Millions of other people experience something similar and succumb or conquer it, and that is in your own hands!

Our Lord has said to HIS angels:

‘It looks a bit like My crown of thorns and I therefore want to know all about it.’

And it will be like that, Crisje, if you continue to worry, because you will not work it out.

And that eats away at the very best tissues of the human machine and we begin to see symptoms, of which stomach-ache is number one!

Or do you not yet feel that this pressure is destroying you, Crisje?

Do you not feel that the screaming that Jeus heard is approaching?

Then the nervous convulsions will start as well, the screaming, which they will be able to hear at the bottom of the Grintweg and which makes you tremble and shake, you will think: they are butchering a soul here, and not a live pig, but a human soul, and she can scream as no one would imagine possible, you wouldn’t believe it if you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes.

It is so unbelievable.

And like a miracle, but now as poison, experienced, and seen as destruction.

Jeus has forgotten it, but he does not know that the stars and the planets are talking about him; the animals in nature talk to each other about it.

Everyone thinks, that can happen to me as well, and how will I deal with it?

That means, Crisje, that the life of Our Lord is once again looking for worldly wisdom, and a situation like that can be learned from.

Again, if you are open to it.

It concerns the sacred matters of a person.

Wageman thinks that he is gradually taking charge.

He will now create order through Trui’s lessons; he will get to know from her how he has to act.

Now his shyness is revealed through rough violence and grumpiness.

He does not lash out, he is silent more than he speaks, and this is a mighty weapon in his hands, because Crisje cannot stand it.

The boys feel it as well, but they act differently.

They are really outside it, Crisje is now sailing the same course as him and cannot go forwards or backwards, he is always in front of her being, and neither sees nor hears her and that is something really terrible.

They are not used to that, here you talk first, and only then do they carry on together.

Is that not true, Hendrik?

Not a word!

Never an exchange of thoughts; silence, that is the best thing, but from whom did he get this weapon?

Must Crisje be destroyed?

She will be destroyed or she will conquer this, which is what they have to accept.

But Crisje is going under!

This silent violence which the children of the Tall One get to deal with is really devil’s work.

Jeus did warn mother, but Crisje could not believe it.

Now it is beginning.

The prediction has made a start, what Crisje sees of it, is not worth much.

Who is right?

Jeus!

And that is the truth again; you cannot avoid your own life.

The part of aunt Trui is just too much, but that is also there, and neither Otto nor Trui lift a finger.

On the contrary, Hendrik gets advice from three people and they are Otto, Trui and his sister Marie, the thin dangerous and vicious person, who eggs the brother on and takes Hendrik in herself, but as a result of which Crisje will succumb.

And that now, after four weeks sailing.

Chin up, Crisje, on the other side there will be sunshine again, also a piece of land to be seen and yonder your own Tall One is waiting?

If he wasn’t there, she knows, she would already have succumbed, but she now draws from that source in order to finish this task, as well as possible!

No, no, she longs for the very best for herself and the boys!

And the very best is for Wageman, could not it be fairer, Hendrik?

The first sorrows are already there.

Crisje’s love is not understood, not wanted.

Her angelic nature is mistreated.

The children do everything, but it does not help.

Hendrik does not want any love, he ignores it, he is as silent as the grave, he is destroying those little human machines, he is taking them apart, one by one, and only the boys will survive him.

Crisje has to accept that Wageman sulks and complains to himself.

He started with that and these are the first signs.

He is sitting there like a human ghost.

‘Does Hendrik talk to you during the day when he is working with you’, Crisje asks.

‘Yes, of course.’

At home, he is silent.

It is strange and hard to understand.

You need a psychologist for this.

Even then, that man would be powerless, scholars do not know the human-inner machine either, they do not yet know how a thing like that works inside and lives, or where those characteristics come from like cogs for the complete whole.

But the Tall One knew a lot about it, he had brought the little cog ‘understanding’ and the other one ‘kind-heartedness’ to full speed; and took that to the maternal part, became a mighty unity and then ‘love’.

The kiss for Crisje!

Hendrik Wageman cannot kiss.

He does not know what it is or what the point of it is.

Now you have to teach a person like that everything.

But is that possible?

Do you have the courage and the strength for that, if you gave life to seven children through the purest kiss?

Where must Hendrik begin now?

Has that life not been kissed with love?

No, Hendrik, could you not be happy then by living the life of a ‘king’?

When you get ten greys to ride your own life and those others?

They have put Wageman on a very beautiful horse.

They are all working on it, but he does not want any grey and he does not want a horse, he would rather sulk, he would rather grumble and it is the best thing for him!

He has been given a crown to wear.

But he throws that thing off; he tramples the greatest thing!

Why do you not want to play at being a king, Hendrik?

I do not want to be a king.

I do not want anything!

Leave me alone, good gracious, leave me alone!

Well done, Hendrik!

In this way, you will get them there at your slippered feet.

Well done, carry on!

Jeus has met his father’s family, Frits, and Marie from Nijmegen.

Would you not like to come and live in town, Jeus?

You can learn something where we are.

Crisje is in favour of it, that is probably a better home.

Now he is waiting until the family writes to him to come.

Meanwhile he has left Van Rossem’s, because you earn more at De Bruin’s where Johan worked.

It is there that he is getting to know a paradise.

They work there together with girls.

And one of those little queens looks at his life too much and too deeply, so that the boys tell him that he is the chosen one of that lovely little head and blond heart.

Or is it exactly the other way round?

Do you understand now that such beautiful children have to work in a factory?

A factory is bad for children, especially for beautiful girls.

You hear all kinds of things and fathers and mothers are analysed in a boyish way and he does not even want to listen, it is so dirty.

And this nice life is standing in between, but can girls protect themselves from it?

He sees that this girl does not get involved in gossip.

She is a beautiful child.

Too beautiful for a factory like that and what they say of this child, is not possible!

Such beautiful children couldn’t possibly come from a family of knife stabbers.

Why do people always speak evil of another person?

Good day, Troutje.

She also has a nice name, but he does not want her.

Would you not like to kiss that life, Jeus?

Do you not yet want to know what kissing is?

I am still too young for it, he sends to that life.

I do not yet know what it is.

But she is sweet, just look at that blond hair.

Good heavens, how lovely that girl is!

Jeus compares this life to that of Crisje’s.

Here he lives amidst human happiness.

At home, it is horrible.

And he may not leave his mother alone now.

He does that again by sending her all his thoughts and to talk to mother, or Crisje will not make it.

In this way, they experience their former unity again and nothing has been lost.

On the contrary, they have come to each other in an even deeper way.

But through everything he sees Wageman stumbling up the Grintweg, he hears Crisje screaming so that they can hear her at the bottom of the Grintweg, which makes him tremble and shake.

Wageman heads home ... the sensible life thinks, that Hendrik, but Crisje is left with the pieces.

And then Hendriks pulls at the tablecloth causing the dinner to fly through the kitchen.

It happened exactly as Jeus had seen it beforehand.

Twice in a short time Crisje’s machine went in another direction and she succumbed.

There, in the same place Jeus saw her lying.

The screaming was awful.

The people had never heard anything like it before.

It is horrible, but what is that?

It is terrible, but what do you experience if something terrible happens?

This happened inside Crisje and then, they cannot bear thinking about it any longer and through only three drinks Hendrik created this terrible misery.

The doctor was called.

Hendrik was given a warning.

People who had known Crisje since she was a child spoke of it as a scandal.

They should hang the innkeepers ... But well, if you cannot take a drink?

Then there was peace for a while, but the stomach-aches started.

From that moment onwards Crisje has been eating dry rice.

She wants to protect herself and not go under, her task is not yet finished.

Jeus is thinking about that, when that blond girl is courting him.

Do you not just want a little kiss, Jeus?

Her snow-white skin, her deep black eyes, her blond hair, can you believe it, this figure is very much alive, but he also hears that she belongs to another person.

But that is nothing, that is not a boy like Jeus.

Jeus is a king and she is a queen, were they not made for each other?

Even the elder sister and all those other little friends of the queen want Jeus to bite, but he will not bite!

It is Crisje and it will remain Crisje, he will not leave his love alone.

God preserve me from such a test.

And is that true?

There are no tests for him, that girl can ... get the ‘droodles’ but he does not want her.

Yet, he is living in a paradise here!

You do this work with pleasure.

There is always something nice going on, although the seriousness of life does not touch him, at least not this, not this girlish behaviour.

None of it!

A few days later, now that he looks at that life a bit more sharply, he sees something completely different.

But that can’t be true, can it?

She is just like Betje.

Are there no normal people any more in this world?

Is this nice life already ruined too?

He looks again and yes, that Temple has also been demolished.

There is also a mud pool in there of the worst kind, even if he cannot accept it.

Do those little eyes not shine like sunlight?

And yet, look for yourself, Jeus, she is not a Crisje.

Truly, if you come from a home of knifers then you learn something completely different and she has had to learn.

Is a person bad then?

If there are four bad ones, is there not one good one to be found amongst them?

Troutje is a good one, you can see it just like that, but he must not possess her.

He does not want to kick up a fuss, that other boy may keep her.

How old am I now?

Almost fifteen.

There is still plenty of time.

Besides, Crisje needs me!

In addition, Crisje is now complaining about back pains, about her bladder, her kidneys, and her beautiful hair is falling out.

It is rice every day, eating rice, that keeps her stomach-ache at bay.

She must lay down and accept that Wageman has his own character, but one you do not like, which brings you misery and troubles as well, and is no longer human.

And yet you have to carry on and go forward, continually forward, and make up for what you once did wrong.

Only now does Crisje understand Jeus’ words: ‘He will destroy you, mother!’

And that is the case, but Crisje searches for a way and a possibility of getting out of it.

When Johan saw this, Bernard experienced it and the other children underwent it, those little brains began to think.

How will we get this man to his grave as quickly as possible?

We must think of something, Bernard!

Wageman now lives amongst potential juvenile murderers.

Miets and Teun think that the best way to murder him is with mouse droppings.

Johan thinks a bang on his head is better, but then you will be sent to jail and that must not happen.

Bernard agrees with Johan.

What would you say to pins in his food?

Mother will see it, so you will not manage that anyway, and mother would give you what for.

Can you bury a person in the back of the garden without the neighbours finding out?

It is dangerous.

Is a man heavy?

What would you say to hanging?

However, nothing happens.

The youths follow the drama.

The older ones are in it and have to prove what they can give.

Only Crisje has thought out her method thoroughly.

For the first time, Wageman gets to hear:

“If you do that to me again, Hendrik, you can get lost.

I will not put up with it any longer!

Understood, Hendrik?

This is scandalous.

Food will no longer be thrown here, that is slapping Our Lord in the face.

Do you not know that?”

Does this shock Wageman?

Does he realize what he has done?

The past six months have been pitiful and yet a bit more peace enters his life.

You would say, sense as well, but yes, can a person suddenly change for the better or become the way you would like that person to be?

Feeling is needed for that and you do not just get that handed on a plate.

You will live or die for it.

Slowly but surely, carry on.

Every day gives you something new, but all those pains break your resistance, murder your constitution and that is a pity.

It is going well at De Bruin’s.

Jeus dared to go on a short walk with the queen after all, but then her boyfriend was waiting for him and asked:

“Do you not need to go to your mother for porridge?”

He now keeps her at a distance.

He does not want any trouble.

At home, they have enough to put up with and that is really bad.

Wageman is improving, but then his life stumbles again, he cannot take a drink, and there is the devil to pay as well.

This prompts Jeus to say:

“What did I tell you, mother?”... she can only reply: “I know, Jeus, but we have to get through it!”

And Crisje will manage it.

Wageman gets to swallow again: “Or you will leave here.

People talk of it as a scandal.

The mayor and Father agree with me.

You will change your life and improve it or you will have to leave here.

What do you want?”

Crisje will try it again and Hendrik has already learned to say yes and no, when he is asked in a polite manner for his opinion.

Who did anything to that man now?

No one!

The boys still bear his life and character.

Crisje slaves away, as if she has to serve a king.

Because everything is for Wageman!

The dinner is lovely ...

Crisje cooks delicious meals, she is a born cook, the boys know that very well, but this life must go with them.

At the end of the day, Crisje thinks, a person did not make himself.

We all have faults and this is the pushing force and her inspiration, also the unending love, as a result of which she takes care of this life time.

No, the murderers aged five and seven have no meaning any more and the older children laugh about it.

How could they even have considered it?

Now that it is going a bit better, Jeus gets his long awaited letter.

His little bed in Nijmegen is ready.

“Goodbye, mother!”

“Goodbye, Jeus!”

“Goodbye, everyone!

I will write soon, mother.”

Wageman also bids him goodbye, even talks to him, and wishes him the best there in the big wide world.

Can you believe it, but Hendrik uttered it and Crisje felt a new happiness.

It will probably be better now.

The red cloth, which was already no longer there, is now leaving.

And Jeus will get his own room with Marie, Frits, and their daughter, Anny.

It is going well, he is working at a bakery.

He delivers bread, but can you set up a home from that later?

Do you earn enough money delivering bread?

Two months later he is already looking for something else.

An apprentice goldsmith is required.

Is that not something, Jeus?

Yes, that is great, now I will learn a profession, that is better.

He moves to the Lange Hezelstraat, he cleans the shop-front and delivers sold goods.

The rich man has thousands of guilders worth of treasures in his house and those treasures are rings, brooches, stones, and gold, Crisje.

He will now become something.

Crisje hears everything about his life; he will never forget her either.

But how is Troutje getting on in Emmerik?

How is Betje?

How is father, mother?

Will you continue to be strong, mother?

I will help you!

Yes, he will help you, Crisje.

He thinks about you day and night, but he is far away from you.

Here they say:

“I believe, Truus, that we are fortunate now, this boy does not steal.”

“So”, is what Truus says, “Do you already know that now?”

And then he says, but Jeus knows nothing about it: “He will find my diamonds, the rings and the hundred notes and will not understand it.”

That’s what they thought there, Crisje, but Jeus does not touch another person’s possessions, do not be afraid, you can trust him.

Jeus is told that Truus is an opera singer.

He has never heard singing like it.

Is that what the opera is?

Good heavens, what a pile of money father threw away.

Can you get so many beautiful things from an opera?

Probably, it is enormous.

A pity, that so many men visit, Knerpie really has nothing to say.

Knerpie, it is a strange name.

“Just look, sir, I have found a hundred guilders again.

You probably dropped it”, he now experiences this day in day out.

How careless town people are, mother is careful with money, you can buy everything with money, and if you have nothing?

He knows all about it.

Does Jeus want a packet of cigarettes?

Yes, please, sir.

Now he smokes cigarettes of three cents apiece.

The goldsmith also lights up, but that man does not trust the matter.

Now that sir comes upstairs and Jeus is not there, he hears:

“I think, sir, that I must warn you.

Jeus is smoking your cigarettes.”

“That is right, Jeus has proved that he is honest.

The boy is worth his weight in gold.”

“I just thought so, sir.”

“Of course, but this is okay.”

He does not find a cent anymore.

The boss sends him with a package to Arnhem; he must hurry.

And when he comes to the Bakkerstraat, they immediately reach for the telephone.

He hears, ‘everything is okay.

Jeus is already here.’

Good heavens, Crisje, they sent him away with valuables of a hundred and a half thousand guilders.

Hidden in his saddlebag.

Yet, what can happen?

Truus is the first one Jeus meets when he returns.

“Are you back already, Jeus?”

“Yes, madam.”

“That is quick.

I must say, you did that quickly, didn’t you.”

Knerpie is not there.

He cannot get on with this person.

This person is not to be trusted, he feels.

This person has boils on her soul.

Does the boss not see that?

This life is cold.

This life is poor.

This life is empty, just give me Crisje.

If he had to marry such a woman later, even if she can sing so well, he would not even want to.

You would die with a woman like that.

He leaves; it is better upstairs.

But you will not get that man either.

They agree with everything, but think, get lost.

However, Knerpie is a good person.

Only he thinks too much about himself and, the man upstairs says that as well, Truus will release Knerpie from all those nice things.

Yes, Jeus, there will come a time when you will meet Knerpie in another town and then he will tell you that Truus has left with all his money.

Then he will have become a coal merchant and you will be a writer.

You could laugh at him, but you don’t.

And Knerpie won’t be able to believe his eyes.

You, a writer, Jeus?

Yes, sir.

I have written books about ‘The Origin of the Universe’, books about life after death, about madness and many others.

I have already finished about fifteen, sir.

Can you believe it, Jeus?

I thought, you would go far in life.

But I could not have imagined that.

Yes, Jeus, you will experience this.

A prediction for later!

And this rich man will become a coal merchant and will be standing on his own two feet, despite everything.

Life will therefore not destroy him!

The family does not believe his boss has given him such expensive cigarettes.

Jeus isn’t stealing, is he?

Now they hear how highly they think about him there, they must bow to his life and make up for everything.

There is no fun in it anymore for him.

So you see, in the eyes of people, your own family, you are a threat and a dirty thief if you cannot prove otherwise!

That hits him!

They can now suddenly drop dead, that love means nothing.

There is also a policeman in lodgings there, and that man makes works of art from nice pieces of wood.

He does that with a knife.

Jeus also tries it.

One evening he is sitting in his room working on a piece of wood.

Suddenly that thing starts to talk to him.

There is a person in that piece of wood.

And that person is also laughing at him.

That person says: “Dirty whippersnapper, do not cut me.”

The policeman makes sacred statues from wood, Jeus wants to imitate him, but there is life in his pieces of wood.

He runs downstairs, but does not say anything, they would not understand that here, anyway.

Three days later, in his little room again, life came to a piece of wood like that and that thing hopped over the table.

He knows what it means.

They used to be little balloons ... now pieces of wood, those balloons are in there, there is nothing more to see.

It is enough to frighten you, but if you know what causes it, there is nothing to it, he thinks it comes from the world where Fanny now is.

José will know about it, but he does not get to see any of those friends.

What he tries to carve is supposed to represent a saint.

He sometimes hears: ‘tick, tick, tick.’

It is a nice sound.

That ticking can think.

When he thinks: ‘do that again’, it is ‘tick, tick, tick!’

But he says: the ‘droodles’!

And those things are soon shifted to the ash bucket.

He does not want anything more to do with that fiddly work.

The family has also given him a big blow.

And he has to believe now that the boss is playing with him, he is learning nothing here!

Can he marry if he earns nine guilders forty a week?

After all, that is a lot of money, Jeus.

But why does the man upstairs not offer him an apprenticeship?

Now that he talks seriously for once, he is told:

“You are learning nothing here, Jeus.

If you want to become a goldsmith, you must go to a factory or to a boss who does nothing else.

He does not have enough work for me, so what do you want, Jeus?”

However, the boss does not want to lose him for all the money in the world.

Jeus must talk and now that he sees the chance for it, the boss gets to hear that he wants to make progress.

He did not come to the town to waste his time and his life.

The boss promises him the world, but there is no change.

And at home, in Marie’s house, the fun is over.

Hendrik is now getting in his way.

Hendrik is standing on a ship which has brought him great gain.

‘Tell me quickly, Jeus, what can you earn there’, a letter comes from his little brother.

Isn’t that something?

Hendrik is rolling in money.

How?

How did you suddenly become so rich?

And mother?

Mother does not know anything.

She may not know, but where I work you get thirty guilders a week, and you do not need to do anything for it.

No, that is not possible, he thinks, but Hendrik writes again, he must come back, he must not let himself be cheated there by a rich man like that, there is plenty of money!

What does the boss do now?

He still wants to give the rich man a chance, but works himself to the ground again.

He cannot stand such nonsense.

People in the town lie and cheat.

What a pity, he thought that his boss was human, but this boss is cheating him, they talk nonsense here.

It is exactly the same everywhere.

However much they talk, he has handed in his notice.

He goes back to Crisje and the boys.

He was away from Crisje for nine long months.

It is an eternity, but he has learned a bit of High Dutch and that is worth something as well.

On a Saturday afternoon, Jeus is hanging his red striped jacket on the boss’s coat stand.

He has to put on that suit himself with all that advertising on it.

Even Truus does everything to keep him.

Nothing helps, he does not want any deceit, all just nonsense, and he does not believe anyone here anymore.

The ‘droodles’!

Goodbye, boss!

Goodbye, Truus!

Goodbye, Frits, Marie and Anny, goodbye policeman!

I am going back to Crisje.

The town is rotten.

You have no life!

You cheat each other, day in day out.

That nice voice of yours is just from a devil.

Knerpie will get to experience it, but that Knerpie does not deserve any different.

He is not a man.

This man has nothing to say.

Does this man not see that?

Just give me father Wageman instead, at least he knows what he wants.

If you are rich, you are still nothing.

Just look at that face!

Poor Knerpie!

It is in the train that he tells them off one by one.

What an awful lot he has learned there.

But never ever will he wear a red striped jacket like that again on his body.

You are now just like a monkey, a monkey on a stick, not me.

What dirty dogs they are.

Did you think, Knerpie, that I did not know that you wanted to get me?

You take the boys to prison yourself.

You put something in front of your boys, which they will go for sooner or later, and then it is too late.

I would have done something completely different, Knerpie.

That man upstairs with his curly head was not to be trusted.

That man spoke with three tongues, that man could have betrayed him.

Did you think that I did not know that?

Truus is a bad woman, mother.

Marie is too playful, and Frits has nothing to say.

Anny is mean and that policeman with his pieces of wood will never get a wife.

He is not a man, Crisje, he is like Gerrit van Lengel is, or sexton.

What does Our Lord want to do with this sort of people?

In the town, people are lifeless.

In the country people live.

Even if they often argue with each other, they do not cheat each other like that.

In the town they live under the ground.

Yes, mother, I found all of that out, and can tell you a lot about the people in the town.

Stop, and get out; Doetinchem.

Now to Zutphen-Emmerik.

He is dying to sit in his lovely steam tram again, being able to talk to the men.

“So, Jeus, are you coming to pay your mother a visit?”

“No.

I took off from there, Hent.”

“Did you give it up?”

“Yes, I will not let myself be cheated, Hent.

Those town people are just like wretches!

They promise you everything, but do nothing.”

“I know, Jeus, but have you discovered that already?”

“Yes, Hent.”

“Are you glad that you are going back to mother, Jeus?”

“Of course, Hent.”

“Will you go back to work in Emmerik again, Jeus?”

“I don’t know yet, Hent, I have to think about it first.”

Zeddam!

Another little push and he will be there.

Now he is coming home with a pathetic little suitcase and greetings from yonder, a few of whom he does not wish to forget.

As they pass the graveyard Jeus say silently: “Father, I am back, do you know that?”

He probably does.

“Good day, mother!”

He throws his arms around Crisje’s neck.

He shakes Wageman’s hand, the boys have to know about everything.

“Are you pleased that I am back, mother?”

“Of course, how I missed you.”

“Are you still in pain, mother?”

“Yes, but that will come to an end as well.

I have a bladder ailment, Jeus.”

“That’s a pity, mother.”

It is not yet possible to talk about all those other necessary things, but that will come.

He is lying in the attic again, he feels at one again with the doves, and life is good.

What will he do now?

Go and do joinery work with father?

Hendrik, Gerrit, and Bernard tell him something completely different.

Did you not see my little blond girl?

How is Betje?

You can now enjoy yourself here and thank Our Lord for the good life.

He dozes off and experiences his town dreams.

The mice are running over his head again.

He has become bigger and stronger.

Jeus is a strapping lad, just fifteen years old, he looks seventeen and can tell you everything.

He is sleeping better here than under those white sheets in the town.

You are not so far here from life.

Over there, it was as if there was no life.

And all that High Dutch talk is stone-cold.

Here you can hear a soul talking and you can laugh about it; over there, almost no one laughs.

I will never become a town person, just give me my dialect, mother’s dialect.

And a real sausage from Gelderland.

Here the black pudding tastes like the ham does there.

But this is tastier, our own is better!

Our Lord: thank you, Jeus has remained honest!

All the Lord’s Prayers of Crisje were answered again!

And father Wageman, Jeus, you will not believe it, has changed.

But you will hear that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow from Crisje.

Now a new life will begin.

Or, is this only a little step further?

And yet, many believe it.

All of them are happy, Jeus and Hendrik and little Gerrit are now your bankers.

Can you believe it; however, you will experience it!

It is a pity that the mayor has forbidden Mardi Gras.

It is also a pity that there will be no fair, because there is plenty of money.

The war demands caution, Jeus, but you will certainly still get your fun.

Of course, that is in your own hands!