Along with the cross-eyed Mantel, Mrs.de Man’s Theet, and Mathie, Jeus has had to draw his number and has drawn a place by lot.

Exactly the stiff men, with whom they have had nothing to do with, and they could really do without here, drew the highest numbers.

Now there was no rope with spatial certainty to let him see into his future, he was completely alone and acted wrongly.

What would you say to refuse to do military service, Crisje?

If you do that you go to prison, Jeus, and that is not very great.

Johan informs Jeus of what he knows of military life: “If you just do everything there, as those people want you to, nothing will happen.”

But if you cannot stand snapping, well, then it will be difficult, they tease there, you are continually faced with something new, the food is good, but you have nothing more to say, you have lost your mother and everything.

The best thing is to pay no attention to it, only then is life there tolerable or, you are a scrag.

And he got to know what that was in Emmerik, people then leer at your own life and you are faced with thousands of matters, which you just do not want.

Jeus has spoken about the pros and cons with Crisje.

And when he decided, he let Crisje know:

“Just do not worry about me, mother, I am going!”

But that cost a lot and did not happen of its own accord, he has not been able to sleep for some nights because of it.

Now his bag is ready, Jeus must go into service.

Does Casje know that?

He is going into the world again.

“Goodbye, everyone.”

It sounds nice, doesn’t it?

“We will be back.”

That doesn’t sound bad either and will probably be true, but can you believe it, he must leave Crisje and that means something, after all.

Just look at those faces!

You can already hear the Zutphen-Emmerik tram at the border, the well-known whopper is on its way.

It is crowded with people, the school child has become older, now they are men, and they will represent their fatherland.

But what is that?

What must you do to serve your own fatherland?

What is a general, Crisje?

“Goodbye, father!”

“Goodbye, Jeus!”

Hendrik sees him off.

Crisje will wave goodbye to him from the Grintweg.

Goodbye, brush factory!

He flashes for a moment through that space, the combers, and the sawers are busy; he hears the familiar screeching of Antoon van Bree, but all that no longer has any meaning now.

It is as if he has become centuries older.

There is the monster already.

Get in.

The puff-puff is leaving.

He does not need to say goodbye to a girl; he does not have a girl yet.

Is that not strange?

Is that not something special?

Handsome Jeus does not have a girl.

Goodbye, mother.

Crisje is standing on the Grintweg and waving goodbye to him.

That is over, now say goodbye to father.

Silence!

Just take your cap off.

From the Tall One’s grave comes another silence and that is his farewell.

He understands it!

Mesjoer, I am going into the world, you will probably know, father.

Greetings to everyone, I know what I want; do not have any worries about me!

Suddenly everything breaks loose, they are free, yes, he is free; the others have to think, and they have lost their mothers.

Their father, their magic lantern, their billiards, their nonsense as well and the real work, the earnings, the six and seven marks from Emmerik, their Saturday evenings at Jan Hieltjes ... Father does not count!

Did you not receive your blessing, Jeus?

They know from each other how they believe and pray, and now a church and prayers has no meaning anymore.

Can you believe it, they have lain on their knees in front of such a man, they have told him everything about their life; what neither a girl nor a mother and father were allowed to know, he got for nothing, they have put such trust in Father.

Now you may kill!

Because that is where they are going, these children, they are leaving home in order to experience something raw, nevertheless, if a war does come here, or did you think that they were mad and could not think, Father will bless the cannons.

And that should not be allowed!

The ‘droodles’, we are going to Arnhem, plenty of time to worry about all these things there.

They are not even angry with that good priest, he is goodness itself!

Get out here, gentlemen, the train for Holland will come soon.

They have almost broken the Zutphen-Emmerik to bits.

Before they are in Zevenaar they feel a bit calmer, but when the train stops there, Jeus still has to smile to himself for a moment, he is thinking of Casje.

Casje said: Zevenana ... But where is Casje, anyway?

That man or whatever he is, now no longer means anything.

That is as far removed from his life as Moscow is from Gelderland.

But what kind of nonsense has he experienced?

Can that provide you with food and drink?

That childish carry-on is now gone, he does not want anything more to do with it, that was from his youth and now he is a man.

What a pity, he has forgotten Anneke.

Anneke looks at the cows too much and he does not feel like taking on the role of farmer.

The new life smiles at him, another spacious life has started.

Arnhem, get out here, gentlemen!

Walk nicely, gentlemen, you will get food and drink here, we will continue within an hour.

They may also look at the girls for a moment longer, which will be over soon.

They enter the barracks.

Just look at those yellow collars, Mantel.

So is that a general?

How much ‘pop’ do those men have inside?

Just follow those poor troublemakers, Mantel, Mathie, Theet, we have lost our Grintweg!

Now, carry on.

The officers in charge are standing before their noses in Amersfoort.

Come on, kids, just march nicely in the beat or there will soon be something waiting for your lives, and you will not like the inhuman side of it anyway.

We will bring you into line here.

Just look at those faces!

Are you not crying for your mothers, brothers, and sisters?

Where do you come from?

Jeus feels separated from all the good things in a person.

It is not up to much, there is nothing good about it, and this is stuff and nonsense!

He has already seen it; he knows it!

Is that the case, Jeus?

“That is a Corporal”, the cross-eyed Mantel says, “I also want to have a few stripes like that, then they can no longer order me about.”

Not a bad idea, Jeus thinks, but he does not want anything to do with that rabble, they will not get any stripes on his body.

He does not say anything, he is thinking.

Good heavens, how life has suddenly changed.

He is back in a dirty cesspool, even worse than with the combers, this is not what he wants!

He must first think if he wants to materialize his thoughts and be able to send them to Crisje later.

But he knows it for himself, he does not think of taking on all this mess, which is good for conscious devils.

The grumbling has already started.

That one there is a dirty man, who feels like a lieutenant-colonel, but has two, filthy dirty stripes and looks like an ass.

Is that not true?

Why must those men always shout like that?

Get your things, then sit down and listen.

What must he do with a weapon?

Kill people?

Don’t make me laugh.

He already knows it, he has got sacred respect for Father now that he feels and looks at the mess.

An hour later they are sitting in front of the different ranks and their authority.

The brown bean soup was good, but there was not enough.

He cannot listen; he is not able to think about this mess and empty doings.

How much money are those people throwing away?

What a lot you can do with all that money.

They buy rubbish for it here, machines to kill people, Crisje, Johan is right!

It is a filthy mess!

They are loafers, fat stuffed beavers ... do you feel it, Crisje?

They are beavers, Crisje, if there is any real shooting, they will sail with all those stars and stripes to their apparent death, the louts!

“What am I?”

“Corporal, sir.”

The youthful group laughs and they should not have done that.

The corporal asks:

“What is your name, soldier?”

“My name is Jeus, sir.”

“Understand me well.

I am a Corporal,” away with your nonsense, he says to himself, but that scholar does not hear that or it would already have looked hopeless for Jeus.

Good, you are a Corporal, but what do you mean by that?

“What kind of name is that ... ‘Jeus’?”

No answer.

“Well?”, the corporal repeats, “What kind of name is that?”

How can it be.

Jeus asks politely: “What is your name, sir?”

He utters sharply: “I am a Corporal.

Understood?

And you can tell that ‘sir’ to your mother.

What is ... ‘Jeus’?”

“The usual form of Nico, Corporal ... I mean ...

Yes, how should I tell you that, do you not know any sweet little names then?”

The group laughs again and that is wrong for Jeus, but he meant it sincerely.

He suddenly did not know how to make it clear to the man.

The corporal has a grip on his life and will not let him go, the man wants to know what this means, but it is the cross-eyed Mantel who says to him:

“Can you not understand that then, Corporal?

The people say Jantje for Jan and Piet becomes Pietje and Gerrit becomes Gerritje ...”

“Oh well, is that it.

Then carry on.

Remember, I am a Corporal and not a sir.”

Understood ... understood ... he says again to himself and it is exactly the same as Lumwald, only here they say it differently.

Dialect and High Dutch come from the same family he now realizes and he actually did not understand that in Nijmegen, now that is also clear to him.

Now, carry on.

A bunch of farmers must be prepared for society and that is not so simple, but the corporal knows what to do.

How hard this all is, Jeus thinks.

The people in the town make a fuss about nothing, and behave like nervous wrecks.

And that corporal is one of them!

Jeus, watch out or you will become conspicuous and then you will be sorry.

Now just get your bearings.

The nice human part, that he has understood, has gone.

Just look at that.

Jan the louse from school already knows it.

They have forgotten him.

Service is great for that lad.

That lousy animal gets a nice suit and becomes a person.

They should de-louse him first.

You still see the lice when they’re on parade crawling over his little neck, but they do not see that here.

Finally they have finished going through the different ranks and their authority; they are free for today.

Now you can hear all kinds of things and the real moaning begins.

The evening is to review one thing and another, but then they are lying there snoring, thinking, feeling their loss, and are unconsciously climbing a steep surface, which is really not human and yet is expected of their lives.

‘But not me, you can drop dead!’

Jeus is thinking.

It is one o’clock; he cannot sleep.

Various boys roll out of their little beds, not him, he has kicked that thing, made a hole, he is lying in the attic again, hears the doves cooing, picture after picture gets space and now comes back to his life.

But how great the Zwartekolkseweg is, how nice it is in the country, Montferland is wonderful.

What a dirty town this is!

What are barracks?

He has a look in the woods with Fanny, also accepts a scene for a moment with Casje and José, but then those two die consciously here on his straw bed and he falls asleep.

The sound of reveille forces him to get up.

The coffee is bad.

That bread tastes good, but there is not enough butter.

Why can they not give a person who is defending his fatherland a nice cup of coffee?

‘This is horse piss’, the cross-eyed one moans and the others readily agree.

You would give them what for!

After four days, he knows how to salute an ass like that.

You are ashamed of yourself, he thinks, you run around here like cockroaches in order to sing that man’s praises, to bow to him as well, but then it is still not good, you can start again.

The ‘droodles’!

Drop dead with your salutes.

Are they really people?

Are they town people?

Crisje receives a letter from Jeus.

“No, mother, I must say, it a dirty mess here.

I didn’t imagine, mother, that the town people would be so pathetic.

What Father brings to Our Lord, they want to intercept here in order to bring people to the devil.

The better you can kill people, mother, dear mother, the more respect you get and of course stars and stripes, which I would not want on my jacket for all the money in the world.

They are rotten men, mother.

It is a sad bunch, mother.

Here they kick everything out again, which Father teaches.

If you want to destroy people, mother, then you will be a guest of honour here; mother, you will also be doomed, but they do not understand that.

But do not worry about me, mother.

I will make it.

Greetings to father, Teun and Miets and greetings to you from your Jeus.

The coffee is just like dish water, mother, my God, how I long for your coffee.

Oh, yes ... it will be three months at least before I come home.

Is that not enough to drive you mad, mother?

How are the football players?

And many kisses again from Jeus”

Crisje writes back to him, he reads: “If I was you, Jeus”, but now Crisje does not know any more dialect and she writes without stopping, “I would just take care of myself and you must just think like this, this time will come to an end, it is also the only thing to experience here but you know all of that and we have talked long enough about all of that and you must not pay so much attention to it, Jeus.

Our Lord knows very well what people are like and those people also have to make up for everything again because Our Lord will certainly not forget and Our Lord knows very well what they got up to there, they would like that, Jeus, but Our Lord is not that stupid, he does not let himself be cheated as long as you know and He knows the people, we know that very well and I do not need to tell you that either and just leave the rest of it, it is only for a short time anyway and then you will come home again and they can tell you more there, Mrs Diekman died suddenly and so you see when it is time people have nothing to say they are all scaredy cats, I know that very well and you will see that there as well and now warm greetings from all of us, father is very well, and from your dear mother, Crisje, many kisses Jeus, do not worry about anything we are getting on fine” ...

Jeus cries at Crisje’s words.

What wonderful letters mother can write.

The first weeks have passed, he now knows the salute, they have taught him, and he had to master it.

Now they race outside, but life is unbearable, he would like to fiddle with their hoorays one by one, he is irritated to death at all this empty nonsense.

This inhuman teasing means nothing, and it would not have taken much or Jeus would have been introduced to the jail.

Through the cross-eyed Mantel, Mrs.de Man’s Theet and Mathie, he didn’t go, they made it clear to him that he cannot fight against that group alone, and he understood that, Crisje.

But everything makes him sick!

He does not know what to do with his weapon and yet he has to make sure that he feels this control or it will go wrong.

And you can certainly understand, Crisje, that this is not so simple.

He has decided for himself that he will not go to jail or they will keep him here and the others will go to the field army.

If you are punished, Crisje, you can serve longer, and he has respect for that.

But he also feels, they force you to change your face here, you may not even look the way you used to in the country, you are no longer a person, and he is extremely annoyed about it.

A dog has more feeling than some people, Crisje!

If he now thinks about Fanny, it hurts inside and you will certainly understand that.

He does not write all of that, however, you can read it between the lines though, in his letters, can’t you?

The people in the town, Crisje, he feels, he already knows, have been brought up to scold.

They cannot do anything else.

They are unhappy and bad and that is ‘militarism’ for Jeus.

What they think about here, that all has to do with murder and arson.

Early in the morning when you pray they start to think here how they can kill people the best.

Those people grow up to end up on the gallows, they are not cows, Crisje, but dirty stinking beavers.

If you can think well for this murder and if you can make a sensitive but conscious calculation, you will get stripes, stars, and your murder money to live from.

Jeus sees them, Crisje, like liquorice and salty liquorice.

If you see those striped ones walking, he says, they are just like crab lice on stilts, however, he sees the generals as a bunch of cockroaches, they waltz about the street, because what they do is not walking.

It is Hakfoort’s turkeys hopping about, however, the nice dewlaps under their chins are under the souls of their dirty and sneaky conscious, you have to laugh at it whether you like it or not, it is such a pathetic bunch, which you must bow to.

Jeus has not yet seen one decent person amongst these greenish yellow baboons, he now understands, Crisje, what Jan Knie’p had to accept, when Jan served in the East.

How Jan will have cursed there.

The people he sees here, Crisje, he has understood, have already buried themselves, or they make a fuss about obtaining a stripe, from the highest to lowest everything is wretched, poor consciousness, because they are now no longer people.

None of these people have any ground under their feet anymore, and if that is the case, there is a pile of nonsense in it and you are faced with this animal-like carry-on, which Our Lord wants nothing to do with and for which they do not need to follow Him.

What maddens him, Crisje, is their talk about culture, he still has to learn those words, but I am telling you, it all takes you to stuff and nonsense!

That stabbing with the bayonet on the weapon at a dummy like that is really bad, Crisje.

Those dummies do not accept that from his life and call him all kinds of names.

I heard it myself, the dummies said to him:

‘A better person?

You are a dirty cad.

Do you have to kill us?

Do you have to take our lives?

Can you not think anymore then, Jeus?

Have you forgotten all those nice things that Father taught you?

It is scandalous.

Dirty boor!

Ugly turd!

Rotten person!

Scabby dog, you are just like all these wild animals, just do not fool yourself, we know very well what you want.

Dirty libertine!

Rumbling pot!’

Yes, Crisje, you will not believe it, but the dead dummies talk to his life and consciousness.

He has to worry about it, he feels it and also the pain of these lives, the good part tells him how stupidly he is behaving, how rotten life is if you no longer possess your own will.

And yet, dear Crisje, when he was outside, they were allowed to rest there for a moment and he admired Our Lord’s space, lying on his back, a horrible little ant crawled over his nose and he heard it say:

‘Do not pay any attention to all this misery, Jeus.

This is the time to learn how not to do things in later life!

Oh, don’t get a shock, I will not sting you, Jeus, God preserve me, I must just tell you this, and only then will everything be different.

When you are faced with the lives of the dummies again tomorrow, then you must tell them that.

You must tell them, that you are here to learn how it must never be done again, Jeus, then they will no longer feel that pain, and your life will be different, and no one can do anything to you.

Do you believe it, Jeus?

I will continue, ’But you would say.

Isn’t that something, Crisje?

The life of Our Lord will help him, if he is open to it, dear Crisje.

Fair is fair, you experience all kinds of things here.

However, he will soon turn right and only then will we know that they will not behead him here.

You will hear from me again, dear Crisje, see you soon.

The first lieutenant was a grumpy person.

Fortunately, this murky stinking life, and consciousness was replaced.

“Do you practise sports, Jeus?”

“What did you say?”

“Come on then.

Can you run?

Can you play football, fence, do you do grips, and can you fling a person over your back just like that?”

“I can do that, just look; will you hold this ball for a moment?”

Whiz! The lieutenant already knows, Jeus can play football, and he can think.

The cross-eyed boy said that the previous first lieutenant was just like a worn-out bicycle tyre, and he was right, somebody like that has nothing more to offer.

Theet says that he is like a cheap brooch which no girl would want, in Mathie’s opinion, that man was too lumpy, too empty-headed and yet he still wore stars, but that was a mistake.

“Where did you play, Jeus?”

“At home, Lieutenant.”

“Man, you are a first class football player.

I will take you to the U.V.V. (footballclub), when we go home again, come and play with us.

You are a football player for the Dutch national team, Jeus; did you not know that?

I will make you a first class player.

What do you do, Jeus?”

“I am nothing, Lieutenant, I have not learned any trade.”

“That works out well and that will be fine, I will help you.”

Do you see, Crisje, it is going well now, the first brat had no soul, and this is a person!

Jeus has respect for this life and he immediately feels at ease.

The regiment has celebrations, they are celebrating a long existence, matches will be played, and there is money to be earned.

He is choosing players for the third company and Jeus is lucky, Theet Schuurman and Guusje Hoogland are in his area, they are the back players for his club.

They will win.

Now the human dolls are standing along the lines, high and low are celebrating.

Look for yourself, General, how Jeus of mother Crisje can play football.

He can think and that is all, it is his feelings!

The third company to which Jeus belongs, has won from the others, today they are faced with the students and they are dangerous.

They left for the field accompanied by music; Jeus took his men to task, in the presence of the lieutenant, that man also had to listen.

Do not dribble for too long, they can do that better, give the ball away immediately and play towards me, the rest will follow of its own accord.

The cross-eyed Mantel asked Jeus:

“But where did you learn all of that, Jeus?”

“At home, Mantel.

Ben Straus could do all sorts of things too.”

And that is the case, there is also something to learn in the country, he thinks, if you are only interested in it and you let your head work.

Theet and Guusje know him, they know what he wants and the men see it, those students have nothing to say, Crisje.

You know, he flies across the pitch like a tornado, he has got a set of brains which are capable of everything and a head which you can put nails into.

Five minutes later there is already a goal; a hard shot by Jeus makes it 1-0.

Would you believe it, the hundred guilders is for the third company, and a nice outing this evening.

The final score is 4–1 for Jeus and his men.

They adore him, the lieutenant wants to make a football player out of him.

That is possible, but he wants to go back to Crisje.

If Crisje also wants to live in the town, then he will think about it.

Life is great in the country, who would want to leave Montferland?

Not him!

Who would want to leave the Plantage? He would never want to!

Then you must come and live there, lieutenant, it will probably come to something and you will get Jeus in your midst.

However, he knows their talk, today you are everything and tomorrow you will be forgotten.

Crisje, do not worry yet.

“I have to say, Joost”, that ‘Jeus’ has already changed, “you can play sports.

You must join the training and I will make sure of that.”

What is that man interfering in?

Does that man want to give him one of those stripes?

He can certainly take care of himself, he has a strong dislike and hates everything that he sees as striped and with stars.

At last the happy moment for leave arrives, mother and son talk to each other day and night.

But what is five days’ leave?

At home, he has understood that, ‘Das Stolzen Fels am Rhein’ has completely wasted away.

There is still something to be earned for the little ones, but the good life has gone!

However, he leaves with a bit of money for Amersfoort, with it engrained in his head, be careful with your money, they were also expelled from paradise here, Our Lord has closed the gate again.

Afterwards there will be an end to all that piggery and he will leave for the field army.

In Arnhem they put him in the Coehoorn barracks with his friends, where they are received by the old guard.

There is one of them, a giant of a man, who is called big Gradus.

He thinks back to his youth, he was also faced with a monster of strength and violence like that at the brush factory, but he was tamed by a dead ordinary belt like that and then had nothing more to say.

This life, the boys see, is a rogue.

Crisje, he has an idea, which they will enjoy here or you will find him in hospital.

Big Gradus receives the piglets.

He will initiate them.

He begins with little Bram, the small seeping Jewish lad with the scurvy.

Little Bram also comes from the Achterhoek, weighs ninety-nine pounds, and has curly hair, as a result of which they always had fun, but Jeus thinks little Bram is still a child.

Little Bram was the baby of the club in Arnhem and now, you will not believe it, Crisje, big Gradus is facing little Bram in order to annoy this sad ‘child of Caiaphas’, but as a result of which this child undergoes his christening.

Gradus proceeds to kick little Bram.

What does little Bram do?

Nothing, of course, this child does not dare to lift a finger; big Gradus will skin this life alive, he asks:

“What is your name, piglet?”

“My name is Bram.”

“So, you are a Jew.

Do you have any sisters, Bram?”

“Yes, I have one sister.”

“Will there be any more children?”

Little Bram doesn’t know what to say.

Does he have to answer the animal?

“Well?

If your father doesn’t know what to do, then call me.

Understood, Jew?”

Whiz!

Little Bram is lying on the straw mattress.

Now he proceeds to Bernard van Bree.

Whom he gives a blow to the head, knocking him to the floor.

The cross-eyed one says to Jeus:

“Is that not just a bully?

My God, what can we do, anyway?”

Jeus does not say anything, he is following the bunch.

The old guard follows Gradus.

Then Gradus is facing Theet.

Who looks the monster in the eye and waits, he does not say anything, does not give an answer, does the same as Bernard van Bree and accepts the severe blow right in his face.

That one strikes home.

Mathie is in another section, Gradus is now facing the cross-eyed Mantel.

The child becomes pale.

And a moment later the cross-eyed one is rolling across the ground.

The group is laughing, the piglets are getting just the right amount, and not one piglet lifts a finger.

Now big Gradus comes to Jeus.

What will you do, Jeus?

Have you gone mad?

Crisje, he takes off his coat, he wants to fight with the monster.

That is madness, Crisje, if you saw Big Gradus, you would walk away.

The man can fell a cow with one blow.

Just look.

Gradus takes off his coat, turns a weapon rack upside down in one blow, which one in a thousand can do, at the most, and Jeus will know what he has let himself in for.

“What do you want, little man?

Do you want to fight with big Gradus?”

The groups roars, there is some fun to be had, which is something they have been lacking.

There are some who warn him.

Gradus will break him.

Jeus is ready.

The tables fly over the beds, there is plenty of room, but they had better call for an ambulance.

Big Gradus throws at his companions:

“Isn’t that just a wind biter, boys?

We will just behead that cheeky little chap.”

Jeus sees that Gradus is strong but he himself is fast.

What Gradus has in strength, he has in speed.

Now the boys will see what Ben Straus taught him, now he will demonstrate Jan Lemmekus’ skills.

Gradus must go over his head in a flash or he will have lost.

Gradus tries to intimidate Jeus.

“So, bantam cock?

Do you want to fight with the fright of Arnhem?

Do you want to tease big Gradus?

Man, how do you get it into your head.

I am warning you.

Come here, I will now put you across my knee.

Do you not want that, bantam cock?

Good, then we will fight each other.”

The others have gained respect for Jeus.

The cross-eyed one thinks that he has gone mad, but Jeus, Crisje, is very calm, he knows what he wants.

Gradus comes towards him.

Jeus bends as fast as lightning, jumps up, grabs big Gradus by his bull’s neck and see, the giant is already flying through space.

About six metres further, he crashes to the ground.

Now the monster flies at him, he will tear Jeus to pieces, but Gradus is faced with his own flock who block his path.

There is a bit of a kick-up; the men stop him.

Gradus must accept his opponent.

Jeus, who was standing above Gradus, says to him:

“You see, if you are fast then you can do all kinds of things.

I can kick your head in, but I will not do it.”

The men liked what they saw and accepted Jeus.

However, Gradus was very upset.

The big man has to accept his men.

He is foaming at the mouth, this person is dangerous, and this untamed life is bubbling with poison, they have not had that here before.

Gradus wants to destroy him irrevocably.

One of the boys fetched the lieutenant.

Who proceeded to tell Gradus:

“So, Gradus, you have found your match.

Haven’t you?

And now give in to it fairly and squarely.”

He then turns his attention to Jeus:

“My compliments.

I must say, that is daring.

No one dares to fight with Gradus.

Where did you learn that?”

Gradus is sulking.

The boys from ’s Heerenberg have respect for Jeus now.

They do not understand it, but he has proved it, this is pure art.

Gradus wants to kill him; they now have to watch over him together.

The lieutenant gives Gradus an ultimatum, give in to it or be gone away from his herd, the storm section.

The bear takes off.

The boys who usually sleep at home remain in the barracks.

Jeus is in danger, Crisje, but they will continue to watch over him, he has now received help from all the boys.

At about half past ten Gradus comes home, drunk.

Now you will have it.

The light goes off.

The boys are not sleeping; they know what the bull wants.

About half past twelve someone is sneaking through the room.

Suddenly the light goes on, the men jump in front of Gradus.

The rascal has a knife in his hand.

It is as if the life of big Gradus is possessed with anger.

The lieutenant is standing in front of his nose again.

“What do you want, Gradus?

Will you stop now, Gradus, yes, or no?

I will have you taken to Hoorn, Gradus, you will calm down there.”

The bear gives in.

Jeus follows the inner life, and he knows Gradus is giving in.

Even if it takes a while, Gradus already feels different inside.

Just go to sleep, nothing else will happen.

Now that they have stepped forward, Jeus next to Gradus, the bear still wants to give him another nudge.

The lieutenant now gives the bull the very last warning.

“Gradus, another move like that and you can leave here!

Understood?

You must be able to bow your head!”

They go into the space.

When it is quiet, Gradus wants to know how Jeus pulled that on him.

Gradus flies through space again.

That is too complicated for him, he now knows, he is not capable of learning it.

Three weeks later Gradus is fighting for Jeus of mother Crisje.

Try pointing to Jeus.

They have become friends.

Now they have real fun, they get to know Jeus; they do not want to miss him for the world.

The boys have respect for his enthusiastic character, his being the life and soul of the place, when he is not there, life amongst the troops is stone dead, and they start to grumble.

Now Jeus gets his nickname for the first time.

He thought he would get one in Emmerik, but that did not happen.

In Amersfoort, he felt like a nice bathing costume.

The sales girl emphatically wanted to talk him into another one.

He thought, yes, of course, there are moths in it and I do not like that.

No, the child says, you must take this one.

If this girl had just said frankly that he was buying a bathing costume for a girl, then he would have picked another colour, of course.

He liked this one, a nice blue costume with white stripes around the neck and the little legs, and found it the most fashionable.

When they are together at the swimming pool, he comes out of his changing cubicle, wants to show off, he hears someone calling:

“Oh, look at that Sissy!”

From now on, he is called, Sissy.

How they laughed.

He may not take off the nice outfit under any circumstances.

That belongs to the section, this is their own property, but he is now called Sissy!

They have fun, they have been selected, and can make and break who or what they like, their lieutenant, a minister’s child, can you believe it, follows them in everything, and he does not make the slightest effort to stop them either, he is a soldier, Jeus sees, who is a dead loss, just like he has become.

It is time, Crisje, that he must join the training.

Now you will see something, because Jeus does not want anything to do with that browbeating.

He completes one stunt after another.

He and Jantje Zwaan have to fetch food.

It is as though Jeus is mad, Crisje.

He cannot get over his inner inspiration, he is bubbling inside, and they keep on experiencing something different here.

“What will you give me, if I fly through those windows, Jan?”

“What did you say, Sissy?”

“I want to fly through the kitchen windows.”

Jan thinks that he has gone mad.

“Great, you will get twenty-five cents from me, but you are not serious, are you?”

“Yes, I am.”

Plop, he is already lying there under the cook’s stove, through the windows just like that; the whole barracks is in an uproar.

Goodness, that one really is mad!

Not ten minutes later he is standing in front of the captain.

“What do you want, man.

Why are you behaving so strangely?”

“It suddenly entered my head, Captain.”

“So, that entered your head, did it?

Well, four days in the cell will make you think about it.

And pay for the window.

That thing costs at least twenty guilders.

Can you believe it?

It is madness.

Do you know, soldier, that you have to join the training?”

“What did you say, Captain?

I have to join the training?”

“If you do that again, you will not join, understood?”

“That is just what I want, Captain.

I do not want to join the training.

I do not want to play at snarling.

Just put me in jail.”

“I see, is that what you thought.

Did you think that you could force us here?”

Four days in the cell;

Yes, Crisje, he is in jail.

He may also go to jail after service when all the other boys leave.

After service, Crisje, until the morning, he can take his straw mattress, and then sit down and think.

Is this now exactly to your Jeus’ liking?

And we haven’t finished yet, Crisje.

Once you have been involved in the jail, Crisje, you will be back just like that, and they know that here.

The window is paid for by all the boys.

He is in jail with seven others, and listening to all the talk, sometimes he sings his songs, ‘At the door of your house’ is piped into space, the ‘Stolzen Fels am Rhein’ resounds a while later through the barracks, until they come and warn him from the watch and forbid singing.

“What do you want, Sissy?

To go to Hoorn perhaps?”

They have respect for that.

The four days pass just like that.

It is now November.

They have a good time; however, there is just one sergeant who makes life difficult for them.

That rascal does nothing but tease the boys.

Gradus has already been leering at him for a long time, but he cannot do anything about it.

Jeus thinks that snarling is terrible.

That cad of a man does not seem to like any human beings.

Everyone would like to murder that bully, but the major and the captain support that dirty monster.

The lieutenant does not see anything.

The redhead can make jokes, but he does not see this.

It is the cancer for these lives, and yet you are powerless, those rotten stripes do everything.

How do we get rid of that life from here?

What should we do?

They do not know.

This morning they are going out.

There, in the area of Westervoort, they have to jump over ditches with full gear.

They have taken along long sticks with pieces of wood and have to prove what they can do.

The animal does not think of healthy bodies, little Bram also has to jump.

Jeus says to the wild animal, the teaser, that little Bram cannot jump.

Little Bram will drown, but little Bram shall and will jump.

The boys are incredibly annoyed; however, there is no one who can do anything.

It is always Jeus who reacts.

What do you want?

Does little Bram have to jump?

Good, then it will happen.

Little Bram is lying under the water.

Jeus takes a jump and immediately drags the sergeant into the water.

He is lying there trying to catch his breath.

Little Bram is taken out; the sergeant may drown.

Then the inhuman character is standing in front of his class.

He orders them to rest.

Jeus understands it.

The man wants to let little Bram freeze.

He says to the boys: “Come on, we will run back to the barracks.”

They run fast to the barracks.

However, mr.Sergeant did not want that.

Half an hour later Jeus is standing in front of the captain again.

“Why did you pull the sergeant into the water?”

“Because that man has no brains.”

“ ‘Captain’, you will address me as Captain, understood?”

“It doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“What did you say?”

“That it doesn’t mean anything to me!”

“Did you hear that, Major?

We have to listen.”

He then addresses Jeus:

“But what do you want, man?

Did you think you could make an orphanage of this?”

He does not say anything.

The captain asks again:

“Will you answer for once?”

Not a word ...

“Answer me!!”

“I will not listen to snarling.

Is that the behaviour of gentlemen?

Is that training?

Is this something which you have to learn?”

“Did you hear that, Major?

We are being taught training from a farmer.”

Dirty whore ... he curses to himself, but he knows what he wants.

They will not achieve anything with violence and snarling with Jeus.

Crisje, you know, he cannot stand it, however, this is going wrong.

“You will never join the training, soldier.”

“I don’t want to either!”

“So, you don’t want that.

We will see about that.”

“So will I!”

“Hold your tongue!

Stand to attention!

Go away!”

He leaves, does it wrong and has to do it again.

Once more, he looks the man with the three stars in the eye.

And the captain stares back.

“Why are you going against the grain, soldier, you are so good at sports and you can achieve a lot.”

“I do not want to become a cattle drover.”

“What did you say?

Are we cattle drovers?

But what do you want then, soldier?”

“We want to be treated like humans, captain.

That bully has to leave.

That is not a human.

What you build up, he kicks to pieces again.

We want to be treated like humans, nothing more than that!”

“Go to hell!”

“Thank you!”

The man calls him back; he does not do it properly.

He is laughing inside; the star man sees it.

“Are you laughing at me?”

No answer.

He is silent.

He no longer has any respect for such people.

“Why are you laughing, I ask you, soldier?” ‘just hang yourself on a silver thread’, he murmurs to himself,

“What are you murmuring to yourself?”

“I told my mother how rotten the people are here.

That is all!”

“So, is that all ... are you from the border?”

“I come from that ‘Stolzen Fels am Rhein’, Captain!”

“Dismissed, quick march!”

“Of course!”

He can leave with ten days’ close arrest.

He is in a bad way, Crisje, that is day and night in the military prison.

Alone!

Completely alone, what you now get to hear from him is not very good.

And yet Crisje, they will not destroy him, he knows what he wants, however, the other boys do not follow him, they are sensible, they think ‘get lost’, but Jeus cannot do that and yet, he has much to learn.

This is the only way, the only method, Crisje, to experience this mess.

Little Bram is seriously ill with double pneumonia; it is so serious that his parents have already visited him in the hospital, they think that the child from Jerusalem will kick the bucket.

This situation will have a nasty aftermath.

The real lieutenant-colonel is already involved, and Jeus gets to hear all of this in the military prison.

He may not sing anymore, he has been forbidden to.

And a few days later he heard that the piece of poison was almost beaten to death.

The sergeant has a broken leg, has lost half an ear, and was beaten up just like that behind the barracks, which this life can make do with.

That animal of a person is lying in the hospital and no one knows who did it.

Big Gradus perhaps?

Not him, Gradus was at home playing cards.

Then matters started to speed up, Crisje.

Jeus has to go to the highest council.

He is a good person, Crisje, and he can talk there in a human way for a change.

Jeus’ first question before the council was:

“Just tell me, soldier, how did all that happen?”

“Well, Lieutenant-Colonel!

Little Bram cannot jump.

And it was really cold.

Why was that necessary?

Does a person really have to be destroyed?

Did that sergeant not have any parents?

That man, Lieutenant-Colonel, destroys more than is built up.”

“Why do you not want to be an officer, I hear that you are that good at sports.”

“I do not want to join the training, Lieutenant-Colonel.

I do not want to give orders.

I want to have peace.

There are men here who have a wife and children, Lieutenant-Colonel.

Do those men have to be ordered about by a person like that?

We want to do service, Lieutenant-Colonel, of course, but we are people!”

“And then, soldier?”

“Then I pulled the sergeant into the water, Lieutenant-Colonel, but an animal like that does not learn anything.”

“Why did you jump through that window, soldier?”

“Yes, Lieutenant-Colonel, what do you do if you have too much feeling and energy inside and do not know what to do with it.”

“Was that it?”

“Yes, Lieutenant-Colonel.”

“Will you do your best?”

“When that animal has gone, yes, Lieutenant-Colonel.”

“Go back!

Be more careful, soldier.”

“Yes, Lieutenant-Colonel.”

Jeus, Crisje, is back in his military prison.

He has already managed to reduce it by four days.

One thing is a pity, Crisje; his leave will be lost.

More so, he wanted to play football with the boys there.

They do not need to count on him now; he has to serve his time.

And what do you do when you are sitting all alone like that?

Then you start to think, Crisje.

You must not believe what he writes to you, he is lying; he does not want you to know that he is in the military prison, Crisje.

However, the authorities here have gained feelings, that sergeant, Crisje, is being sent away, that man, they have learned through Jeus, is not suitable for service, they have established that he is a devil.

That man cannot get on with people, because he undermines authority, Crisje, he has to go!

And that is worthwhile, now the boys will get a different life.

However, Gradus was the one who roughed him up.

No one knows it; they cannot do anything to Gradus, and Jeus could be satisfied; if only that military prison was not there.

Oh well, that will also come to an end.

Having a lovely rest on his back, he thinks of the old days.

He suddenly hears the doves cooing.

Are there doves here?

No, but they were there, Crisje.

But that is something special.

He already sees Fanny, Crisje.

He is now already walking up the Zwartekolkseweg; he is going straight to Montferland.

A moment ago he was standing in front of Sint van Tie’n’s hut, Crisje, he walked for a moment over the Jewish graveyard, ran back through the Plantage, had a play with Anneke Hosman, played football as well, one thing even nicer than the other.

Believe it, he is enjoying himself, Crisje, but it is nonsense that they are in the country with the troops.

However, you know it, after all, don’t you?

Did the boys not tell you, that he is in the military prison?

You have to laugh at it, Crisje.

I understand very well that you feel a pain under your heart, because you know your Jeus.

But he can stand it, Crisje.

He is enjoying the old days again.

Those things of the old days come back to his life, Crisje.

He can no longer free himself from that anymore and it is the only thing here which keeps him going!

It will bring him comfort, inspiration, and the tenacity to experience the days in his cell.

It is quiet.

He is thinking about Casje.

He has not thought about Casje in years, at least it seems like it; it has been so long ago since he left you.

Where is Casje now?

Is Casje still alive?

Does that Casje still exist?

Was he really a person?

Did he not fool himself all those years?

Was that whole Casje thing not just very childish?

No, where did that money come from, and who brought him to ... that woman ... do not mention her name ... but was that not Casje?

And was that woman not lying in bed with another man?

You see, Crisje, he is now going back to his great youth, only now does he begin to think like your own child again.

It is nice, all kinds of things can happen in this silence!

A moment ago, his lieutenant came to visit him, Crisje.

The minister’s red-haired boy is going out this evening with his girlfriend, but he received the money for that from the boys.

They would give anything for him, Crisje, because he is a good person, this one will never be a soldier, this child is not a minister either, this life is something very different, but the boys adore him.

“How are you, Sissy?”

“Fine, Lieutenant, I can think again now.”

“Think, did you say?”

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

“Sissy, but you are a strange creature.

I cannot fathom you out.

What do you really want to become in society, Sissy?”

“They say that I am good at football, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, you are and you can probably earn your living with that later.”

“That man from the U.V.V. said that already as well.

But, oh well, I do not want to leave Crisje.”

“Who is Crisje, Sissy?”

“My mother, Lieutenant, my own dear Crisje!”

The man leaves, and Jeus is alone again, he continues.

They took him out for a while, Crisje, but you have heard, he does not want to leave you.

Is Casje still alive?

Does a Casje really exist?

But where did that José disappear to?

I never heard anything more from him.

And that bit with Fanny, they were my own thoughts, of course.

How you can let rip as a child.

Anyway; it was a strange time.

Yes, mother, it was a mad time.

Also when that person started to talk inside me!

Jan Lemmekus is a good man.

Jan is already old, Anneke is ailing, and their child is with Our Lord.

How he was able to predict those things, after all, what a nice guess he had.

It is ridiculous, nonsense perhaps?

Oh well, it is strange and yet still so human.

How nice life is, if you are not involved with an animal like that, life is truly worthwhile.

Great, we will not see that brute back again.

It is silent, what time could it be?

It must be at least ten o’clock.No, he has just finished his dinner, but how quiet it is becoming here!

Why do people always have to be at war?

When can he go back home?

Everything makes him sick.

He could cry from misery, but there is no misery to be experienced.

What the people do is miserable!

Chickens and pigs have more sense than people.

Here they follow the medals.

They run until they drop for a thing like that.

And they call them sensible people.

Lots of kisses from Jeus, Crisje, a letter leaves for your life again.

He is in the country, he is now having a nice rest on his back, they are having fun, but the silence of mother nature makes him think differently.

He is already asking for Casje again.

It has become quieter.

The great light of the day has gone out.

He has plenty of time.

Is Casje still alive?

Suddenly he hears him saying:

“Good day, Jeus.”

“Good gracious, Casje, are you still alive?”

“Yes, I am back again for a change, Jeus.”

“Goodness me, Casje, what a long time that took.

You are still alive, after all?”

“Did you think that I was dead?”

“They have got me, Casje.”

“I realize that, Jeus.”

“Do you know why, Casje?

No, you cannot know that.”

“I know, Jeus.

You wanted to help that Jewish lad, didn’t you?”

“Good gracious me, wonderful, Casje.

Yes, I wanted to help little Bram.

Because of that they now have me.

I felt sorry for that monkey; he is not a soldier, Casje.”

“Of course.

And now you are thinking, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I have nothing else to do, Casje.”

“The world is bad, Jeus.

People make a mess of it.”

“Where did you learn that High Dutch, Casje?

You gave me a fright.”

“I have already known that language for so long, Jeus.

I understand these matters more than you think.”

“Isn’t that something?

What do you think of me then, Casje?”

“Yes, what will I say to you.

You are right as far as little Bram is concerned, but this is like nothing on earth.

You are now in prison because of those men.

This is just like a prison, do you know that?”

“You can talk, Casje; do you have to approve of everything then?

They were destroying little Bram.”

“Also true, of course, all fine and well, but what have you achieved?”

“Do you not think that this language is completely dead, Casje?

I never want to become a Dutchman.

It is a dead language, Casje.

Can you not speak the dialect anymore?

Just give me the dialect!

Just get lost otherwise, you can talk your way round everything.”

“That’s what you say, Jeus, but you do not mean it.

Did you think that you could get through the world with your dialect?

Did you think that you could experience society through your dialect?

Of course, if you stay there then you will not need anything else, but do you want to live in that dump for eternity?

Behind the cows?

What do you actually know about life, Jeus?

Nothing!

Absolutely nothing!

What you told me just now is very nice, but you cannot eat from it.

And you know that yourself.

Or do you want to play football?

Yes, you want that, but can you still play football when you are fifty?

And do you want to earn your living with it?

Do you believe it yourself?

What do you know about adult life, Jeus?

You know nothing!”

“Do you know everything then, Casje?”

“Probably more than you know.

For example, I could tell you where your father and uncle Gradus, Peter Smadel and Jan Knie’p live now.

I know those laws.

I could connect you to the stars and the planets and tell you a lot about it, also about illnesses and the teachings of different universities, about the teachings of Darwin, about a Socrates, Buddha, Mohammed, something about Egypt, about a God, who is a Father of Love!

And that has always been the case!

I could tell you something about the hells, and heavens, and about a thousand other matters, which you do not understand and have never heard a word about before, because you still have to learn an awful lot.”

“How do you know about planets and stars, Casje?

That is enough to drive you mad.”

“I know all those things, Jeus.

You say, that is enough to drive you mad, but what you are and you think up, that is enough to drive you mad.”

“Who are you really, Casje?

What do I have to do with you?

And why do you come here to tease me?”

“Do you call this teasing?

I did not come to tease you, Jeus, you know better than that, for that matter.”

“Where are you all the time then?

What do you live off, Casje?

Off the wind?”

“Where I am, Jeus?

You are asking me a lot there.

If you want to know, I really do live on wind.

I do not need to do anything else.

I can go where I want, no one can order me about either.

Yes, Jeus, I have everything my heart desires.

I am everything and I am nothing.

I could tell you something completely different, but then you will not sleep for a minute more.

I am not such a monkey as you think, Jeus.

What do you want?

I do not feel anything any more for your inhuman dialect, as long as you know and can accept it.

Have you not learned any High Dutch then?

Is that not something completely different from that cackling from the countryside?

If I may give you some advice, then you must listen to what people say in High Dutch or you will have wasted your years in service.

What do the other boys do?

They have your stripes.

You think, I do not want that rubbish, and you will not get your rubbish any more on your jacket, they do not need you anymore for that, they need decent boys, not troublemakers, but you could have learned something worthwhile.

Now you are a pathetic wretch.

You think that you are right, of course, but they laugh behind your back.

You must now listen to what those men have to say to you.

Those same blockheads can teach you something, Jeus.

Whether it is true or not, and if you know better, well, go ahead!

I know what you feel about this poverty, this mess, of course.

Did you not think of Crisje for a moment?

You think, mother does not know anything anyway.

However can those men be quiet?

I thought it was very stupid of you jumping into the water.

You cannot stand bullying, but you bullied yourself into it, Jeus.

They lock you up and they go out!”

“Where did you hear all of this, Casje?”

“I already told you, you still do not know me.

However, I know what you are up to.

Yes, you can run, and you can play football, you can also be a good soldier.

But do it differently, Jeus.

You must try to get through your time.

Soon you will go back to Crisje, and then you can say goodbye to this mess.

But I would not let myself be put behind bars by this gang.

You go through hell for stupidity and poverty, but you do not become a single bit wiser.

I am not telling you that you have to like this gang, God preserve me, Jeus, but you are stuck with it, and now you must try not to let them get to you through those dirty matters.”

“You are like a professor, Casje, aren’t you?”

“I am, Jeus.

I can do everything.

I have this whole big and mighty world in my pocket, if you wish to believe it.”

“Where are you going now, Casje?”

“I am going back to my paradise, Jeus.

I will wait there until you are free, and then I will come back to visit you again.”

“How strange you are, Casje.

I have never known you like this.”

“Little children, Jeus, grow up.

Have you not got older?

I am still going to school and I learn to know more of life every day.

And I carry everything with me carefully.

Sometimes I give some of it to people if they want to know, of course, because there are millions who are blind and deaf.”

“And have you forgotten our dialect?”

“Dialect, I said to you a moment ago, you can’t live on it.

I am better at it than you are, Jeus.”

“That’s a lie, that is boasting, Casje.”

“So, that’s what you thought.

Is that a lie?

Now, you just write in the dialect to your mother.

You cannot do that, but I can.

You can talk the dialect, but you cannot write it yet.”

“That is true, Casje, I agree with you.

Now I understand you.

I know now as well, why mother writes in High Dutch.”

“The only thing you don’t understand is yourself.”

“You are a bother, Casje.

You are annoyed.

Did they also pull your leg, Casje?”

“Not me, they are not capable of that, for that matter.

However, you are annoyed, Jeus.

Did you think that I did not know that?

Do you mean: my God, how good life is for me now?

Thank you very much?

You are shouting inside, and you are complaining all day, if you wish to know.

You behave as if it doesn’t matter to you, but I know that.

Our Lord thinks, ‘work it out for yourself.’

He does not want anything to do with your troubles.”

“Why not, Casje?”

“That is a good one, did you think that Our Lord was interested in people who destroy His life?

Do you have to teach people how best to murder other people?”

“So therefore I have chosen the best thing?”

“Yes, you have, Jeus, but you are doing it in the wrong way.

Millions of people think the way you do on this matter.

But those people do not let themselves be locked up.

What you are now doing is showing yourself completely, and that must not happen now.

Those terrible men see through that and they are leering at your life.

Sooner or later you will do something wrong and you will be behind bars.

Is that experiencing life?

They say ‘bite, we have you’, and you are opening yourself to their torment.

You keep falling for it again; you behave strangely and it gives them a laugh into the bargain.

You let them kick, Jeus, you give them the opportunity to kick you.

That is stupid!

Extremely stupid!

Crisje thinks you are old enough.

Did you think, that Crisje was crying day and night about you?”

“Then they betrayed me, Casje.”

“So, do you call that betrayal?

If Crisje asks for the truth, do Mathie and Theet have to lie then?

Did you think that Crisje did not know when you are due your next leave?

You are digging trenches, yes, of course, but Crisje knows better.”

“What should I do then, Casje?”

“Better your life here.

You must not give those men any opportunities.

Did you not see how those other boys do it?

Are they in jail?

They are laughing at you, Jeus.

They like you, but they do not feel like being in the military prison.”

“I don’t suppose I’m allowed to call you Casje anymore.”

“I am not talking about that now, Jeus.

You have to listen to what I want to give you.

That is an entirely different story.

And you know better, you know me, after all, don’t you?”

“I do not know you, Casje.”

“Thank you, now we are getting a bit closer to each others’ lives.

You would say!”

Jeus has to think.

He hears nothing from Casje for a while, but he feels that Casje is still there.

He has become a very different person, he thinks.

How is it possible?

When Casje says:

“Just think about it, Jeus ... I am going to pay a visit to Crisje” - then he can ask directly:

“Can you do that then, Casje?”

“You are still asking me whether I can do that, Jeus?

Have you forgotten everything about your nice life?

Finally, you are starting to think.”

“Why are you so angry at me, Casje?”

“You have to speak High Dutch or dialect, Jeus, but not dialect and High Dutch mixed up, no one understands that.”

“Mr. Casje, where are you going now?”

“Don’t make me laugh, Jeus, Mr. Casje?

That sounds extremely pathetic.

However, I forgive you.

But I told you, Jeus, I can go where I want to go.

No one can order me about anymore.

I fly through space and life.

I am telling you, I am going to visit Crisje.

I enjoy life, Jeus, you don’t!

I have my own paradise, so do you!

However, I am one person amongst the millions of Our Lord, who can think.

You can do that as well, but you think in the wrong direction.

You want to climb up a steep surface, and that is ridiculous.

I am not so stupid, Jeus, and I understand what Our Lord wants from me, and I will do that as well!

I am working for Our Lord.

Sometimes I meet people like that.

I mean, people, who want to hear something different from life than this small talk, all this nonsense, and then I give those people a bit of myself.

Because of this, Jeus, I am happy and I live!

I tell those people what they have done wrong and many are very grateful to be able to know.

Now you suddenly know what I do, Jeus.”

“That is great, Casje.”

“It is, Jeus.”

“And who gave you this job?”

“Our Lord, of course, who else?”

“Have you already seen Him then, Casje?”

“I see Him every second, Jeus.”

“Is that true?

You know Him?”

“Yes, I know Him better than I know myself.

But I have to add, I still have a lot to learn from Him.”

“Does He pay well, Casje?”

“He pays me, Jeus, as much as I need in my own life.”

“But you certainly cannot splash out with that, can you?”

“I must say, you have odd thoughts about Our Lord.

What do you say to hundreds of thousands of millions a month, Jeus?”

“You are kidding me now, Casje.”

“No, I mean it.

I cannot even spend all that money.”

“Good gracious, isn’t that something, Casje?

And I do not have a cent here.”

“That is understandable, you do not earn a cent either.”

“Are you laughing at me now, Casje?”

“Should I cry about your nonsense then, Jeus?

Don’t make me laugh.”

“Did you mean that about that money, Casje?”

“Yes, of course.”

“But you say yourself, you no longer need food and drink.

What can you do with all that money then?”

“You do not understand that yet, Jeus.

I can get as much money as I want, but I do not need it any more, for that matter.”

“You are kidding me, Casje.”

“No, only you are not thinking right.

You want to take me back to your own mess.

But if you want to know it right off, I can tell you, we have everything and the money from your own stinking world is also part of all of that, Sissy!”

“What did you say?”

“I said Sissy!”

Jeus does not know anymore.

He does not know Casje.

He says:

“It is quite something, what I am involved in, Casje.”

“I will not even go into that anymore, Jeus.

Sissy!

It is a nice name, I must say.

They should have tried that with me.”

“What would you have done then?”

“Nothing, I would just have betrayed myself.

However, I am wasting my time talking.

I have something else to do.

All the best, Jeus.

I think it is rotten that I have to go and leave you alone now, but that is your own fault.

You do not have the right yet to lock me up as well.

So, I’m going.

I am going to Crisje.”

“Will you give mother my best wishes, Casje?”

“I will make sure of that, Jeus.”

“Can you do that?”

“Do you not know that?

But Crisje does not think and feel now as she did then, now Crisje feels differently.”

“Just look at yourself and you will know immediately.”

“But mother has not changed, has she?”

“Your mother will never change, Jeus, but she has to accept her life and that’s it!”

“I understand, Casje.”

“Thank you.

However, you knew all that, now you have forgotten everything.

It will probably still come back to your life.”

“Have you not seen what this life is like, Casje?”

“Yes, of course, but you are becoming annoying now, you always ask the same thing and I cannot stand that any longer.”

“That’s a pity.”

“You think that, but it is not the case, Jeus.

For that matter, pities do not exist.”

“Thank you, Casje.”

“My pleasure, Jeus.

As long as you know, this is your own fault!”

“I know.”

“Then I didn’t come here for nothing.

See you, all the best, Jeus of mother Crisje!”

Casje, he sees, dissolves before his eyes and disappears through the walls of his cell.

How that man has changed.

Is that his Casje?

And now go to sleep.

Yes, Crisje, you will get Jeus’ best wishes from Casje, through him you will now start to feel something, and those are his best wishes.

It now looks a bit better inside for Jeus.

Because Casje has found him.

It took a long time, but he was there!

Jeus does not understand himself anymore, Crisje.

He is completely out of it!

The army service has made something else of his life.

What is that?

Who is scratching at his nose now?

There is a little mouse in his cell, Crisje.

And he will become good friends with that little creature, then the time will pass more quickly.

Casje has become a stranger, but he is right, Jeus felt that he should not have got up to that nonsense.

In the morning, the little mouse comes back to him.

They eat ration bread together, and he notices the little creature has young.

He has already forgotten Casje.

The days now pass under this happiness.

He plays day and night with mother mouse.

At night, the little creature nibbles his ear and he really likes that, the heat from this little thing is enormous.

Another two days and his prison sentence will be finished.

And those days also pass, together with mother mouse and her little children.

Life is good, life is wonderful, and he would like to stay here.

Now he is faced with saying goodbye to his little friends, Crisje.

The mouse squeals as it were.

That is her goodbye.

He can almost not say goodbye to the little creature.

But he has to.

And see, the little creature goes back to her little house; he has been allowed to have a look at the children.

Now he goes back to the gang.

He is received there with open arms.

That same day one of the boys has to go into the police room, enter the same cell and lie down to sleep.

What is that?

A mouse?

The little creature is kicked by a soldier’s shoe on her little body and is stone dead.

Then that life comes to tell him what he experienced there.

It is a shock, Crisje.

Can you believe it; did that bloke not sense this pure contact?

However, it is this, Crisje, which opens his eyes.

Those rough characters make him sick.

He can no longer stand those boys.

It takes him for a moment to other thoughts, but for how long?

Sissy is back in service.

They are moving, going to the Willems Barracks, life goes on.

Crisje gets him home again for a while, they can talk, and he can play football.

Casje is forgotten; the war is almost over, but something keeps coming, as a result of which he has to accept the military service and they keep the men.

In Huissen and Elst they experience other things again.

When they are marching one day through Nijmegen, he thinks back to Knerpie.

Also to Jan the policeman, and his family, however; he cannot visit them.

He has not forgotten those lives, but his head and happiness are now open to the sport of football.

The boys have to play at home.

He will make sure that he is there.

Away again for twenty-four hours, that is possible, but the leave has been cancelled again.

Did you think, Crisje, that he has learned something?

He has to play football; for all he cares, the fatherland can get lost.

He will go anyway!

The boys will get him through it, but there was nothing to get through, Crisje, at five o’clock they had to come forward and he was missing.

Where is Sissy?

Sissy has gone to his aunt in Arnhem, the good soul is on her deathbed.

Where does that woman live?

They do not know.

Sissy cycles home to Crisje, which is a long way, but that does not matter, you will do anything for a match like that.

He is at home, meets his friends, plays the following day as well, is back with his friends again and does not think about going back quickly, on the contrary, it is Monday now.

Now there will be something, but oh well, can you walk away from so much fun?

When he sees that they are coming to get him, he runs out the back door and dashes back.

Crisje thinks, that is your own business.

She cannot take him under her wings anymore now.

“Where were you, Sissy?”

“I went to play football, Captain.”

“Did you win?”

“No, Captain, we lost.”

“That is a pity, Sissy and I cannot do anything for you.

But I will still try.”

The old Barabs, as the boys call him, is a good person.

Nevertheless, Sissy has to go in again, he gets ten days close arrest.

The other boys do not accept it now.

They want to go to military prison as well.

And the men manage that.

When they have to go on watch, they are not there.

A fine bunch of men to go to war.

They all end up in the Willems Barracks.

They are mocking their Fatherland.

Nothing can be changed about it, half of the section flatly refuses.

Big Gradus is on leave, he does not know any better, or Gradus would have forgotten himself as well.

The first few days are fun, but then they all get their own thoughts and the lives come to human contemplation.

He now established that the service is just a big mess.

A person does not have a free will anymore.

He thinks well, he has a lot to learn, he will learn how not to do it!

And it is in this silence again that Casje comes and visits him.

“So, Jeus, they got you again?

That did not take so long.

I must say, you look great.”

“Good day, Casje.

Yes, they got me again.

I ran away to play football.

But where were you for so long, Casje?”

“In the middle of a war, Jeus.”

“What did you say?”

“I was there for a while, where the men destroy each other.

I was also able to help a few of those men.

They were looking for their own heads there.”

“Do you mean that, Casje?”

“Yes, of course, Jeus.

This is the sacred truth.

Those men lived.

And they thought that they had been murdered and they were, Jeus.

But in the world where I am, they lived there as well, and then they looked for their arms and legs.”

“Because they were so mad, Casje?”

“Yes, because they were so mad to destroy each other.

Those people are completely crazy, Jeus.

They let themselves be ordered about in order to kill people!

That is the worst thing there is.

Those people do not think.

They are forced to shoot!

They have no more will, Jeus.

They do not think about anything better anymore.

What exists has lost its own head.”

“And you saw that, Casje.”

“I can see every moment, if I want that, Jeus.”

“And what does Our Lord say about it, Casje?”

“He does not say anything.

He only thinks.

It is dirty.”

“Isn’t that something, Casje.

It would have made you sick, of course.”

“No, not that, but I felt really bad.”

“From all that blood?”

“No, that is not so bad, Jeus, but because people are so stupid!

You feel sick from that.

Why were you so stupid again?”

“I will not do it again, Casje.”

“I am curious whether you will keep your promise.”

“Can you lose your head there and still think, Casje?

I mean ...”

“What you mean, Jeus, and feel, you can understand, but you are not thinking any more in that direction.”

“That is true, Casje.

I cannot think anymore.

But I will not shoot any people.”

“I know that, or I would not appear to you anymore.”

“But what you just told me, Casje, the people do not understand that anyway, do they?”

“They don’t, Jeus, but they will have to learn sometime anyway.”

“You would certainly have seen a bunch of scaredy-cats there?”

“Yes, it is a mean carry-on, Jeus.”

“They are children, Casje.”

“Precisely, just like you are.

You’re back here again now.”

“But now the other boys are here as well, Casje.”

“I already saw that, but is that nonsense any good to you?”

“No, I understand it, Casje.”

“You say that, but that is not true.

You do not want to understand.

I thought, good heavens, where is he running off to now.

You will be going somewhere else soon, to the country.”

“We are in the country, Casje.”

“I know that, but I said, you will be going somewhere else.

And when you are there, Jeus, then you must just think about me sometime.

If you call me, I will come back.”

“For what, Casje?”

“For something, which involves the Grim Reaper.”

“Will something happen, Casje?”

“Yes, the Grim Reaper is angry.

They took his work out of his hands and now he will see about that.”

“And will people laugh then?”

“They will weep, Jeus, until their tears run dry, because the Grim Reaper is furious!”

“Because they interfere with his work and wage war?”

“Yes, and to quote his words of anger ‘Do I not have enough yet to fetch?

Are there not enough complaints?

Do I have to punish more severely?

I am fetching little children and the elderly, but now they kick themselves out of life.

And I am furious about it.’

The Grim Reaper says that, Jeus.”

“I can understand, Casje.

That goes without saying.”

“My compliments, Jeus, you are speaking better High Dutch.”

“Do you like that, Casje?”

“Yes, because then we will go further.

You must try to learn everything which you can pick up during your army service, it will probably come in useful later, Jeus.”

“I will do my best, Casje, I will listen now.”

“You always listen, Jeus, but you are too playful.

And that is also wrong, if it costs you your own freedom.”

“I understand now, Casje.

They will not get me into prison anymore, and I will no longer run off and play football.”

“Then, Jeus, we will get a lot further together.

Only now will you live for yourself.

You have done that, but through your empty trivial fun, you ended up behind bars.

And is that so pleasant now?

Is that the way to follow and accept life?”

“Thank you, Casje.”

“My pleasure, Jeus.

But I am going off again.

So to over there.

All the best.”

“Good day, Casje.”

“Mesjoer, Jeus, as long as you never wish to forget that I love you.”

“I know, Casje, I love you too!”

Casje has gone; he is alone again.

He can have a nice think again.

Now everything makes him sick, Crisje, this is the last prison sentence; he has learned a lot from Casje, after all.

He now complains to the Grim Reaper about everything, which wishes to help him to kill.

You are treated like a criminal for playing a football match, but if you murder people, you get medals.

And is he not right, Crisje?

He has already come this far now, we are really improving, the army service, you now see, has taught him all kinds of things.

However, he has not had the time to look for a nice girl, Crisje.

Or have you, Jeus?

He tried it once in Arnhem, Crisje.

She was a Jewish girl, but she did not want him to give her a kiss and then, Jeus thought, go to the ‘droodles’, then I will carry on.

But, then he didn’t think about it anymore, Crisje.

That is untill now, because inside something finally begins to tickle anyway.

As long as it is a good girl or we will have the devil to pay again and then we will be sorry.

Casje was right again.

They go from Huissen to Doesburg.

And it is there, where the Grim Reaper begins!

Within four days hundreds of people are dead to the world, they are not screaming like pigs now, but they are being sucked empty by the Spanish flu.

Will the Grim Reaper also get him?

Jeus is not afraid of the Grim Reaper, he really wants to be with his Casje and work with him.

You can experience something there and you have nothing to do with rotten people anymore.

Then you will be free from this world and all this dirty, rotten misery.

However, the ‘Reaper’ works differently.

The ‘Reaper’ does not yet need him.

But you would say!

What is happening here, is only a small part of it.

The whole of Europe is suffering from this.

People fall victim to it everywhere.

Is that not enough yet?

Do the people not hear anymore what Our Lord is saying?

Crisje knows it!

Our Lord is angry, really angry; do those adults never learn anything?

No, they do not learn anything, Crisje!

But you see it yourself!

Now they can cry.

And there are quite a few crying.

The whole of Europe is crying.

There are all kinds of victims, more people are victims here than at the front.

That shooting means nothing anymore.

Jeus sees it happening before his eyes.

He could devour Casje.

He has got such respect for Casje.

In six days one hundred and fifty soldiers are already buried, and no one is able to do anything about it.

Jeus is on watch.

He does not feel well, Crisje.

You will get him home quickly.

He has a bad fever and it starts with that.

Does the Grim Reaper want him now?

It is the sergeant who is concerned.

“How are you feeling, Sissy?”

“I feel fine, Sergeant, they will not get me yet.”

“I would not say that too loudly, you will see.”

He is a good person, Jeus thinks, but he collapses.

He crawls back there on his knees.

What did Casje say again?

It is three o’clock at night.

He screams:

“Casje? ... Casje?

Come, the Grim Reaper has got me.”

Suddenly his friend is there.

“Jeus’, he says, “just listen ... Get that man there out of bed.

Ask him for a half bottle of brandy, then drink that liquid in spoonfuls.

Not too quickly, but it must be brandy.

Just go, he will give you a bottle, even if you have no money, then just pay him when you are better, you are going on leave tomorrow, after all, aren’t you?

Get off as quickly as possible, it stinks here of the Grim Reaper!”

Yes, Crisje, the man believes him.

The man says: “But of course, soldier, we will forget everything now.

Nothing has any value anymore, only brandy and we still have enough of it.

I will get my money.”

You see, there are still people in this big world who believe something and who understand what it is about, yes, they feel, now, nothing has any value any more.

Jeus drinks, he takes spoonfuls, he feels dizzy, but everyone has that.

The fever goes down a bit.

This is almost the end, another two hours and then he will hurry to Crisje.

He has to go, he will not let his leave be taken from him.

He will get through it, he does not know how he managed those last few hours, but he has made it.

It is stinking here; they all say that.

Then he is off to Crisje.

Crisje tucks him into bed and he is very ill.

There is a large flask of brandy next to his bed in the attic.

The brandy is nice, he feels burned-up inside, but that does not matter.

After four days, the fever finally goes down.

He has made it.

The children also caught it, but the Grim Reaper did not get hold of a single one from Crisje.

Hundreds of thousands of people died from it.

Casje was right again!

And Our Lord said: ‘

‘Reaper, just have patience now.

We must now see what they do.’

Have people learned something?

No, but the war is almost over now, they have realized yonder that they can do it better at home and it was no fun anymore.

Casje pays Jeus a visit in the attic.

Jeus can say:

“Thanks, Casje.”

“My pleasure, Jeus.”

“Did the Grim Reaper let rip?”

“Yes, Jeus, the Grim Reaper let rip something terrible.”

“Will people learn something now, Casje?”

“No, Jeus, not yet.

They are not at that stage yet.”

“Will that come, Casje?”

“Yes, Jeus, that will also come.”

“But what strange creatures people are, Casje.”

“Yes, Jeus, people are almost mad.

People are worse than animals.

An animal understands more than a person does.

But still, they are and will remain children of Our Lord.”

They already do not talk the dialect anymore, these two, they have learned something.

Casje left, and Jeus is getting better, but he must leave again.xax

The doctor gave him a great note.

Because he has been away five days longer than he should have, however, they are pleased that he is back, and he is welcomed with open arms.

It is strange, not one from his section died, but half the company perished as a result of the Spanish Flu!

From Doesburg, they leave again for Arnhem.

The whole of Holland is overflowing with the Germans.

The German officers already parade that ‘Rheinstrasse’ of Arnhem.

They must salute those men, that was decided by the high-up ones, and they plodded over it for weeks on end, talked about it; one was for it, another one was completely against it.

Nevertheless, the army must salute them.

Consequently, you will now get to see something else.

Jeus is walking with Gradus and Jantje Zwaan one evening through that Rheinstrasse.

A German wants them to salute.

They already know that the Yellow Riders hate krauts.

The three men leer at those krauts, in order to show them how it should not be done.

Gradus, Jan and Jeus are held by a lieutenant-colonel-am-Rhein.

“Can you not salute?”

Yes, of course, that is fine.

Gradus says: “See that you leave.”

Jeus and Jan are already running.

But Gradus takes seven steps back.

The kraut is standing exactly in front of a grocers’ shop.

Gradus is marching, to the kraut cadence: “Left, right, one, two, three, four, five”, and then Gradus said, “Six and seven”, but then the German lieutenant-colonel went flying through the grocers’ shop window.

Gradus quickly disappears!

What took weeks for the parliament to accomplish, Gradus beat out of the world in one blow.

What barrels of ink were used for, they could not write enough pages about, Gradus’ calculated hit was the nicest thing yet that Jeus had seen in his time of service.

Good heavens, what a blow that was!

The citizens wanted to honour the man.

Anyone who could do that deserves a medal.

That man will get a hundred guilders from me.

However, Gradus did not ever dare to collect that money.

Who was it?

A Yellow Rider, of course.

Gradus, or that Yellow Rider, was known all over the world.

Paris and New York talked about it and suddenly the war was over, no, they had still not had enough.

The lieutenant-colonel went to hospital, saluting the Germans was no longer necessary, and the boys laughed themselves silly!

Hooray for big Gradus!

A Dutch factory worker put an end to weeks of quibbling by learned people.

You can feel yourself learned, are you not smart then?

But what a lot you can learn in service!

Crisje, he will get leave again, this is probably the last.

Now watch out, something will happen, Jeus.

But Jeus, watch out!

That is much worse than saluting the Germans, but it will take you to ‘Stolzen Fels am Rhein’ again.

It is really sweet, but, also fatal, you have to decide for yourself!

Fair is fair!