I see my child again in the spheres of light
We continued on our way.
Deep in thought, I walked on, next to father.
My thoughts kept returning to my wife.
The more I thought about her, her character and views, the better I could understand her situation here.
Could she have entered another place than where she was now?
Can you enter a heaven, if no real love lives in you?
If you give a table, a chair, a cupboard more attention and care than a person who crosses your path?
Can a heaven open to you if meanness and narrow-mindedness still live in you?
If you are never capable of forgiveness?
Can God invite you to His heaven, if you deny His true Being and consider Him capable of damnation?
If you can avoid, even hate, His children who think differently from you?
No, if you still feel and act like that, it just looks grey inside of you.
If you are aware that it is your inner self which indicates your place in the hereafter, it can come as no surprise that you enter a misty land, just as infertile as your own barren, loveless heart.
May God grant, my thoughts raced on, that Annie will soon awaken from her stupor, so that I can open her eyes, can make her heart tremble, as a result of which life, inspiration, longing will come to her, and she will start to learn to understand God’s true laws.
These and others thoughts went through my head, I had to deal with them and be finished with them, before we entered the first sphere again.
I do not yet know what is waiting for me there, but I feel that we are going there, because father does not leave any doubt about it.
He keeps my feelings and thoughts in order.
He has supported me in this, all that time, the months, that we have now been on our way.
They were beautiful months, which gave me a great deal to learn.
I am very happy and satisfied with myself.
As long as father feels the same.
The feelings which he sends me say that he feels the same way, and they warm my emotional life.
Our spiritual bond has become complete.
Yes, my dear father, how can I thank you?
How I have come to love you during this journey.
How fine and elevated your character is, dear father!
My respect for father is great, so great that I would no longer dare to use his first name.
Yet I often did it on the journey, when I wanted to ask him something.
However, it was always in my thoughts, I could no longer utter the name, the concentration for this was broken when I looked at my father and I saw the master in him, with whom I was bonded by feeling.
Now, however, overwhelmed by my feelings, I think: what would I have done, if you had not been with me?
Would another person have been able to convince me of my life, as he did?
Does another person know all about me?
This also tells of the order which reigns on the side beyond.
It also proves the sort of mercy a person lives in who is devoted to God.
It is not nothing, it is great to live in a bond such as the one which binds father and me.
Unity lives in us, love, understanding, and all of this has grown continually when we were together.
This is what God wants!
Through these thoughts I come back to Annie and her mother again.
What bonded me to them on earth has ceased to exist on this side.
Earthly bonds have no meaning in the spirit.
Only bonds which came about through true love, also retain their strength on this side.
Now we mean nothing to each other, since Annie refused to build a bond on earth.
Only later, when she also enters a higher consciousness, can this change.
Then she will feel like a sister to me and I as a brother to her.
I now also see and feel my father as a brother.
And I immediately turn to what Angelica once brought us on earth, when she spoke about the universal love which is really present on the side beyond.
And as a result of this I know that I have to leave the paternal and maternal love and make the universal love my own.
Its possession already lies within me, however, I have to tune in to it and let the feelings develop.
One of my tasks in the first sphere!
As our walk continued the surroundings changed completely.
The mist had slowly changed into a cloudy sky which, however, still only let a little light through.
Here the landscape was already bathed in a radiant light.
I saw clusters of trees, water, soft green water.
There were masses of flowers, which raised their heads towards the light.
This sight was delightful, after all the horror which lay behind us.
Here everything shone, here was life, awakening, here was colour and shade.
Was it any wonder that my thoughts returned to Annie and those whom I got to know through her on earth?
Everything which was present here was lacking in the Land of Twilight, also lacking in the hearts of those who found their place there.
They will have to renounce thousands of things and change them into feelings, which are tuned in to this beautiful world.
Light, colour and shade must also come to them.
Their hearts will have to blossom into love and start to bear fruits.
A new personality has to grow out of them.
The deacon whom I got to know on earth through Annie and her parents, still lives there.
Perhaps – with God’s will – he will get hold of my book and it will help him.
Maybe he will understand this gentle hint from God and will awaken.
Here life and the hereafter will be shown to him as it is.
Hopefully, he will abandon the idea that, living on like that, he will get a place behind God’s throne.
If he does not grasp this and change, then this book will be able to tell him where he will enter this life.
I know his life.
There is hypocrisy and deception within him.
If he dares to analyse himself sharply, he will admit it.
He tries to convince himself that he is a good person, because he visits the poor with other people’s money and goes to church faithfully.
My wife and her mother now experience how sharply this ‘doing good, as long as it doesn’t cost anything’ is judged here.
On earth the deacon feels like a sovereign, when he visits the poor in his good clothes.
He thinks he is really quite something and believes that God’s eyes look kindly upon him.
And no one takes this illusion away from him.
But here he is faced with the cold reality.
There is no sun here, and illusions cannot live there.
He cannot avoid what remained hidden on earth: his plain naked self, the poverty of his inner self.
Here he has to experience that there is not enough love in him for him to be able to warm himself on it ...
Lovelessness, vanity and bragging with another person’s money, can it do anything else but offend God?
Nevertheless, He does not punish.
God lets these souls get on with it, He does not rap their knuckles.
He prefers to let them rest and recover as a result.
Afterwards he does not send any bloodhounds after them to shake them awake, but angels, spirits of love, who want to devote themselves to bringing them to better thoughts.
There is much conflict and hard effort ahead for these souls.
There is nothing which causes so much pain as breaking yourself down.
Yet we are all faced with this task.
How else do we wish to become conscious of ourselves and the life of God?
God does not give us anything.
In order to master His laws, we have to undergo and experience them.
This is how God wants it.
In the meantime He observes closely whether our feelings are indeed real or false and deceptive.
He does not ask for appearances.
Anyone who still tries to cheat Him and delude Him with love and kindness, will have to experience that it can only be the pseudo world of the Land of Twilight, which opens itself to him in life after death!
The deacon has to realize this, Annie also has to realize this and everyone who feels the way she does.
You feel ill.
But what kind of illness is this?
It is your lack of love for the life of God.
As a result of this your surroundings are also so chilly and bare.
Soon I will come back to talk to you, perhaps I can help you then.
It will also help me, because only then I will be able to continue undisturbed, in the realization that you are also busy working on yourself.
A few months will undoubtedly pass, you will not release yourself that easily.
But it will come, and then I want to be with you.
May God give me the strength to talk to you.
Soon I will see our child, I know now, perhaps I may tell you about her then.
See you soon, Annie, I call to you.
I will come back to you.
If only you could hear my words now ...’
I am dreaming.
Light comes to me.
A heavenly light.
The light of the spheres, I know.
It does me good, it warms me, it fills me with happiness.
The ground on which I walk is soft.
And I have never seen nature as beautiful as now.
Am I really dreaming?
I look at father and experience a miracle.
His garment has fallen from him and another really beautiful robe now covers him.
And I myself am now also wearing a spiritual garment, my uniform with the double stripes has disappeared.
This happened during our journey through the universe.
I fall to my knees and weep with happiness.
In the Grebbe- line I already wanted to pray, but then there was no opportunity for it.
Now, however, I thank God from the bottom of my heart, for everything I had been given.
I remained in prayer for a long time, until the feeling to continue on my way came to me.
I stood up and looked at father, who sent me all of his love.
The happiness which flows to us from eternal life is boundless.
Now I had to deal with this happiness at the end of my walk over the earth.
How many millions before me will have known this happiness?
I saw all those souls going up towards God, their Creator, and a great joy went through me that I was able to join them.
I can now tune in to spiritual truths.
This consciousness came to me during the long journey here.
I start to see clairvoyantly, it is my spiritual possession.
There the first sphere is shining in front of me.
My eyes feast on the merry colours of the flowers, which are already translucent here and are becoming more and more beautiful.
The welcoming song of the birds makes my heart sing.
My God, how good You are, what have I done to deserve all of this?
Father walks on and I follow him, indescribably happy.
I see myself as a new-born.
We approach the border of the first sphere.
Only now can I enter this world, this heaven for the first time.
Who do I see there?
Who is waiting for me there?
My God, is it true?
I rush ahead of father!
‘Liesje, my dear child.
My child rests in my arms.
Tears of happiness stream down our cheeks.
‘Father, my father.’
Then I release myself from our embrace and walk towards the shining figure, who brought my child to me.
It is Angelica.
I kneel down and bow my head before her.
So many things go through me, and my respect is so great that I do not dare to speak her name.
But then Angelica lays her hand on my head and I feel the power radiating from her, which brings happiness.
And her voice – so wonderful, so divine, that it can only belong to an angel – says:
‘Child of my Divine Father, I welcome you to the spheres of light.
Brother, my dear brother, get up.’
I do what she says and my eyes look into hers.
I am weeping, but I feel that I must control myself.
Liesje is next to me and we both experience how Angelica descends into us, shares her love with us with all her inner self.
It makes us indescribably happy, because this descent of a higher power into us makes our emotional life shake, elevates our thoughts and feelings and inspires us to master her consciousness.
Living in this feeling, I can speak her name:
I do not know what else to say.
She takes both my hands in hers, father and Liesje lay their hands on top, and then Angelica says:
‘May God grant us the mercy and strength that we may continue together for eternity and awaken others.
May God grant us that we may always show gratitude for everything given to us.
Now enter your sphere and see your own possession, God says to you.’
So I am now at the stage that I may take possession of my own heaven.
Who can I thank for this more than Angelica who, along with father, gave all her powers for me to share that happiness?
I want to tell her how grateful I am, but she indicates for me to be quiet.
‘Thank God for everything’, she says.
Father and Angelica go in front of me and, with Liesje by my side, I cross the border of the first sphere.
This is a great moment, there are no words to describe this experience.
And while we are on our way to Angelica and father’s house, Liesje tells me how she lives and works.
She is learning to be a sister of love and her task will soon be to descend to the spheres below in order to help those souls who need spiritual help.
She already knows that mother is also there.
She continually thinks about her and wants to do everything to devote herself to her awakening.
Amidst the pure nature, the house of father and Angelica awaits us.
Only the singing of the birds breaks the silence.
Hundreds of roads lead to the house, it can be reached from all sides and I understand the meaning of it.
Just like their house, its owners can also be reached by everyone.
Like their house, they are also open to the life of God.
I would like to say a lot, one question after another occurs to me, but my thoughts become hazy.
A heavy feeling envelops me.
I have to let go, father and Angelica’s peace bring me to a deep sleep.
When I opened my eyes again, I felt completely rested.
I was ready for new experiences.
According to father, I had rested for a week, according to earthly time.
Looking round, I immediately realized that Liesje wasn’t there.
Father told me that she had gone back to her work again.
Angelica was with her.
We would soon meet each other again, because there was still a lot to talk about.
‘I am ready, father’, I told him then, ‘many questions in me are waiting for an answer.
May I ask them?’