Did I not know it?

Erica is still sad, she cries all day and night.

She has not gained any happiness, her soul is miserable.

People do not yet know whether she herself is to blame and she attracts it as a result of her weak personality, although there is enough talk about it; academics have come who will decide amongst themselves.

Will these phenomena be given a name?

I will have to see it to believe it.

They are already saying that she refuses to accept her happiness.

I do not believe that either, because in whose hands would that be?

I know that people want to be happy, and only want to possess things which they consider to bring happiness, although others do not find it worth taking from the street gutters, as I do.

Who can tell me, can reassure me, that Erica does not want her happiness?

Who knows for sure whether her child will bring happiness?

Did we not see that a mother predicted that she was carrying a gallows bird?

Now that child is in prison.

Call that happiness, call it a gift refused from Our Lord, give it another name, do what you like with it ... I do not appreciate it, at least if I have this certainty and that true knowledge comes to me.

Who can tell me: Erica does not wish to be happy?

Do not judge, as you would not wish to be judged, in other words: now also look behind this mask!

Erica is ill!

I handed her my first letter.

She looked strangely at it, but suddenly she was very excited and wanted to know what was in it.

Now I sought for a way to read it out to her bit by bit, and I also felt there was help for this ... it came directly from the manager!

It is now clear to me how that man watches out, at the end of the day, we have His lights – His everything!

Her doctor, the man who gave the child the light of the day, does not yet know what this sadness means.

He now has to think up a name and give it a university birth, which future humanity can live off.

On which, I say, a new foundation will be laid, which is called study.

Who will later study psychology?

Watch out ... Dr. Van Hoogten laid the first foundations for this.

Never forget that this man stands before you.

Every day this academic kneels at the feet of this new science, he feels as if there is something to be learned here.

However, he does not gain much knowledge through Erica, she is silent!

If she utters anything at all, it is about that frightening rain.

She is already soaking wet, she says, and Van Hoogten knows that it is as dry as a bone outside!

It is difficult in the short time, the time you are on earth, to build a tower on a building, however much you want to see the house finished.

However, something stops you, especially where it concerns science, according to which humanity got its personality.

“So”, she says, “are you back again, Frederik?”

“I am here, Erica, completely.

How are you?”

“I am drinking coffee through a straw, you probably know that.”

She gives me a remarkable answer, and it is strange.

I now already know that the rain will soon stop!

However, I also foresee a fierce destructive westerly wind, but you know beforehand what it will be like, so that you can take your own precautions.

We will close the dikes!

She has to laugh at it herself.

When she says: “Where did you get to, we had already started to look for you”, I know that we have reached unity again and that it gives her strength when she sees me.

“It seems an eternity, Frederik, but you must not do that again.

As long as you know that we will come and get you.

Anna was at your door three times.

Each time you were out.

What are you up to?

Did you not feel that we missed you?

Naughty brat ... watch out, Frederik!”

And suddenly:

“Can you see that we are both wearing a mask, Frederik?”

What?

It has been said.

A moment later, she turns to me again, with tears in her eyes.

She does not hide anything from me.

We have already known each for so long.

She wants an answer.

I am ready!

Yet, we are silent for a moment.

It is better this way.

Now you can feel the depth of the soul coming to you and you will either get a kiss or a knife in your back, she gives me the kiss!

In return I respectfully kiss her hands, her forehead as well, both cheeks, I am not afraid of that mask.

I want her to know this and she knows!

“But the doctor knows these phenomena, doesn’t he?

Science is that far advanced, Erica.”

“But do you not know”, she immediately reacts, “that I do not mean the marks?

Just look for yourself.”

I know that already, that head is not okay; she does not need to tell me anything.

However, she asks:

“Do you not want to see the child, Frederik?”

I look at René.

Longer and more consciously, I descend into this life.

I experience this little baby.

Of course, I murmur nice things that still manage to produce a smile.

It is a flower from my heart.

She puts it in her mouth and for a minute she acts as if she is Carmen.

She is right, because it is still raining for her.

The sun is shining, but there is no evidence of it here in this house.

Hello, René?

A surprising strength, I should say ... transpiring power races through me.

I immediately thought: that child is soaking wet, but I can smell fresh air.

What is it?

The child is telling me something, other children also do that, but René is definitely wearing a mask.

It is as old as other children also have during the first few days, but this is a very different matter.

René is extremely ugly!

That ugliness is in his head, lives in his face, he does not have the features of Erica and Karel, this face comes from somewhere else where people do not yet have the right to call themselves human.

I have not yet worked it out.

However, someone is waiting for me, the mother wants to hear me speak.

She is ahead of me; I waited and watched for too long.

“What can you see, Frederik?”

“I believe that this is a loose mask ...

Erica, what do you really want?”

“You mean that it is not permanent?”

“Something like that, my child.”

“Is he not pathetic?”

“Are you calling René pathetic?

Your own child a wretch?”

“Can you not see how old this child is?

Are you trying to talk your way out of it for my sake, Frederik?

Then just go away.

You do not need to feel sorry for me.

I do not want to hear anything from the others, you will not deceive me!”

I know, and I will also comply, I am already blurring my message, I do not read everything, which was written, I am already having my knuckles rapped.

Thank you, I am changing now!

“I am so tired, Frederik”, she continues a moment later.

“So, so tired, and now this on top of everything.

Another person lives in me.

And it is from him, that little baby there.

I am not myself, because he is not yet himself, if he is ever allowed to know what natural health means.

I have a feeling as if my appendix is in my head, Frederik, but that is awful, is it not?

That is me again ... so nothing has changed.

We start anew.

There was peace for a short moment, now the curtains are raised and the following scene will lie before us.

I am producing the play along with her.

Below me, I can hear noises, men’s voices.

Yet, Karel and his friends are therefore analysing.

That I did not know before, is because the door was open.

Or Karel just came back.

There is Anna.

We already know.

They are thinking.

Erica does not mind, she waits, and she wants to get better.

She starts about her mask and René’s again.

I listen.

“Frederik, did you think that I do not understand myself?

Or René?

This has nothing to do with the pregnancy or birth.

We were not locked up for too long either; he took exactly nine months.

I know that it was a long journey for him, also for me, for that matter, I can now see for the first time how long it took.

How strange, I am talking just as you do.

The best proof that you are helping me, even if you are not there.

I carry you within me!

Can you see that mask?”

I can see it and I will also know what it means.

She is doing the talking and she tells me:

“Frederik, there are so many things that I now think about and which I have to cry about all day long, but which I see before me as rain and storm.

What a rain.

I cannot see those doctors again.

They are the unfortunate ones, not us; we experience the reality.

They laugh and shrug their shoulders when I say that it is raining and storming so much and it is soaking wet.

That is my mask, Frederik.

It also has to do with René.

Is he mad, Frederik?

Will my child grow up to be abnormal?

I want to continue to stand on my own two feet but I cannot.

I should have been downstairs by now, with everything behind me, I think that we are only just beginning.

I will get better, of course, but what will we do about René?”

“Do you not know anything then?

Who says that the baby is not normal?”

“If only they said that, I alone can see and feel it, Anna does not want to hear about it either.

However, he also has my mask.

It means that there will be trouble and I am now worried about it.

It is my misfortune, I know, I have to fight against it, but I am only human, after all.”

We tried to experience something of which she surveys the life.

I am sitting there alone, she now appears to have longings.

The silence of life nourishes our quiet thoughts, it does her good, and I know that.

René is sleeping.

Below us, the noise has eased off, or could it be because we have left for another world?

It is the opposite of the silence and it opens our emptiness.

Anna comes in, puts down new flowers, mine, next to her and goes out again.

Erica is reflecting, she is deep in thought and she is healthy and normal like anybody else.

I have not told her much about the letter, but that will come.

She puts her hand in mine; we sit together downstairs and talk.

Yet, she goes back to bed again, she is too tired to stay up.

I understand her, she wants to, but she is not strong enough yet.

However, she wants me to read out the letter.

She actually begs me.

It is a force that gives me images.

We are both outside again and defy the rain and also the storm.

She asks: “Do we have to go through this now, Frederik?”

“We have to go through this, Erica!

You will have to adjust all your clothes beforehand to cope with this rain.

You will need at least a thousand umbrellas, they will be wrecked one after another.

But you will continue, we, Anna and I will go with you; you will never be alone.

René will also go with us, I am his friend.”

“How wonderful, Frederik!”

“We will climb up and down mountains.

We will go through cold and heat, through deserts and plains, over the poles and through the tropics, it will be a trip around the world.”

“What a good time we will have, won't we, Frederik?”

“We will not recoil from anything, dear, because we have rifles and all the other things with us for such a journey.

We will be guarded at night, because we will take many servants with us.

René may have a piggyback from me on the way and you only have to watch how we are getting on, is that so miserable?”

“Frederik, I think that the storm has already stopped.”

“On the way we will meet all kinds of birds.

You will see precisely the nicest sorts, which makes René think that he is receiving a heaven.

However, there are also black crows amongst them, thieving devils, which steal everything they can get hold of.

We will also see mice, in short: many kinds of animals, not to mention the insects, which you will be afraid of if you do not know them, but later when you are back home safely they will be among your friends because you will also learn to understand the nice things about them, and as a result, from then on your world will be radiant!

Erica, in the forests where we will rest from time to time we will hear the sounds of thousands of types of animals, believe me, also the hissing of snakes, the revolting cry of the jackal, the growling of brown bears, herd animals, which want to block our way, but will still be won over by us, because we people have supernatural gifts.

We will therefore continue, we know where we are going.

At the end of our journey we will already have seen and become acquainted with all the beauty of Our Lord!”

“How I will enjoy it, Frederik?

I will be very careful.

And I am so pleased that you are taking René and I with you.

I am also really happy for Anna.

As far as all those animals are concerned, Frederik, I once read in a book that if you mean well, they will not hurt you.

You just have to have the power to continue.

Oh, what a beautiful journey it will be.

When are we going?”

“We are already on our way, dear.

The suitcases are already packed, we are now in a barge, which will take us to the seas.”

“Then you are our captain, Frederik!

When René is big, he will follow you of his own accord.

I am already looking forward to meeting some sea serpents!”

“Watch out, now follow the rules of the ship.

You can surely hear the bell for dinnertime, and you just have to obey.

Now open your eyes, Erica, we will experience miracles.”

“Oh, Frederik, how divine you are today, will that always be the case?

I will go with you!

I will take the suitcases, I know what you want me to do.

When do we sail?”

“Look, I said that we are already on our way.

Remember this: we are on the way!

We are sailing ... we are on the way to discover the world, we are making a long journey, but ... we will come back.”

“Safe and sound, won’t we, Frederik?”

“Precisely, and we also have nice things with us and much wisdom.

You will speak all the languages of the world.”

“Do you see, Frederik, that it has stopped raining?”

“I can see that, mother of little René ... I knew that a quarter of an hour ago.”

This was not yet the end of the letter ... but she knows enough for the time being.

Yet she asks:

“Did you not see Karel, Frederik?”

“Karel is downstairs in the machine room.

He is taking care of the fuel, that is all he has to do, but at the end of the day it is his ship.”

“Then I understand.

He likes to potter about, it is just the job for him!”

I wish her success and shake her hand.

However, when we let our hands go, she joins her hands and starts to pray ... with her eyes closed.

When she looks up, I know that she wants to see the boat.

When I have reached the door, she adds:

“Frederik, I can already see the chimney smoking.

Oh, I am so happy.”

When Anna comes upstairs, she sees a very different world.

Erica is beaming and the mask laughs at her.

I am not even downstairs when she comes to me.

“What did you get up to with her, Frederik?”

“Did you not hear the whistle then, Anna?

We are already sailing.”

She goes back to Erica ... now she experiences new phenomena, which are closer to us: more aware, more physical, Anna also understands them.

I have delivered my very first letter; I keep the wonderful stamp from the letter in order to use it as proof in the future.

It shows a picture of the Divine face!

Would you like to own a stamp like that?

It is not for sale ...!

You have to earn it ...!

Does that come from the state of purity?

I am now ready for my other job!

Sweep them clean, Frederik ... clean all that mess, the streets have to look nice ...

And this happens!

We have now been acting for forty-eight minutes.

The hall full of people is completely tense.

I saw tears!

Hearts beat faster.

There were some really beautiful faces under all those masks.

I saw them!