Uncle Frederik, will you help me?
René has now come home for good, but we have had to wait almost four long years for this; he kept sinking into another state and we had to surrender him to those laws and in addition also accept that such illnesses do not let themselves be mocked, as Erica has realised.
We collected him four months after I had returned home from my trip.
It all went so well.
His doctor was also satisfied; his conscious was progressing, his thinking and acting was of such a nature, that even Hans considered him completely normal, so that the boy no longer belonged amongst all those masks.
He drew and painted every day, still lives and even portraits were produced and a years later he even violated the Christ, in order, as he said, to portray his suffering and sorrow for himself.
No one would therefore have wanted to possess this painted portrait; what he made of it could not stand the daylight, his life let rip in such a terrible way, the Messiah was so pitifully squandered by his paint and hands.
And yet, if you went into that daubing more deeply, you saw that an infallible will was busy manifesting itself.
I saw his talent growing and most certainly capable of creating a good and pure work later, so that it was worthwhile hanging it on a wall and looking at it now and again.
We have made progress in one respect: Karel approves of everything, he surrenders it completely.
And they were very great worries for me, because you never knew from which side the wind was blowing with him; you always had to take his ditches into account, which you then jumped slap into, because he himself was at odds with his characteristics.
After a few months we were already faced with the fact.
His wildness came back and the objects flew about your ears again, then he could scramble his little personality together under the straitjacket, which usually came back to this life infallibly after a day or two, and then we began again from the beginning.
Meanwhile the boy became stronger and stronger.
Karel and I had difficulty getting him into the straitjacket, he resisted so severely against this horrible process, for which he trembled and shook, was afraid of, which appeared to be no longer human.
I believe that this was the most horrible part of his illness for him.
Blood sometimes flowed from his ears, nose and mouth, from inner emotion or because of the torment he experienced.
It was, Anna says, as if people wanted to burn him with red-hot pokers, he screamed so much from suffering, it touched his soul so much.
By means of a straitjacket like that, under which he was placed, people completely broke his willpower, but we did not understand anything about what happened inside him, even if I experienced his destruction along with him.
It was an infernal nature, a wild problem, which lay there and wanted to resist this brutality.
You should have heard him then, it was no longer human.
And his intellect grew as a result of it.
That was also the worst.
He could say things, which surprised us.
He made up all kinds of things then in order to just get out of it again.
I do not know any more how many times we fell for it, especially Anna and Erica.
By means of a wonderful excuse people loosened the straps and once he had got his freedom, you saw, no matter how strong his will was to remain good, this life sinking away before your eyes to an inexplicable depth for soul, spirit and material conscious and then the infallible succumbing followed.
In the house that was not that bad, but when he got the chance to run out the door, you could follow him, in one street and out another.
Like a bolted horse he raced past people and he really no longer knew what he was doing.
Heavens above, the hours we experienced, we still do not know how we made it through them.
Yet, during these four years we were allowed to accept the fortune that our child would become better.
I wrote down in the logbook: ‘Look, I am being proved right after all, he comes and goes, we keep seeing him differently, until his conscious has come into harmony with society, the life of every day.’
Years ago I said that I expected him home at approximately the age of seventeen or eighteen years old and now we see that I am being proved right in that again.
Gradually, step by step, he is coming back to us, in order to finally remain with us for good.
I recorded the first time, after my trip, that we collected him, and described it completely according to the phenomena.
When I came to him, he examined me, as if he wanted to know what had happened to me.
And after having thought for a while, he asked:
‘Where were you, Uncle Frederik?
Where were you all that time?
Why did you go so far away from me?’
I had told his doctor one thing and another about my trip, also about our contact, he was therefore prepared.
However, René did not know that I had been gone for three years; he knew nothing about my experiences, because he had not understood it anyway, people had told him nothing about them.
However, he asked:
‘Why did you go to the East, Uncle Frederik?
What was there for you there?
Is it possible that I can also make such a trip?’
The male nurse had one or two things to sort out with him and took him away for a while.
The doctor says:
I must say, above expectation, I must admit that he is extremely sensitive.
Probably a question of telepathic transfer!’
‘It is the case, doctor.
What do we people know about the human soul?’
‘Nothing. What we can do is give these lives a material development, some becoming conscious through education, some learning if it is possible.
However, you see, managing to give these souls back to society as healthy is an exception, a rarity.
Of the hundred and fifty boys whom we have here, ten at the most regain full conscious, the rest remain imprisoned for this life.
They are living dead.
What did you think that this is for all of us?’
‘You do your best, doctor.
What more may we long for?’
‘But what laws are they, which determine that these souls must be so beaten, which force us to accept that one possesses everything and the other must remain here for life, as a living dead?
When you go to God, your life stands still.
I adhere to Protestantism, every day I come into conflict with Him, I cannot approve that He deals with His life in such a nonchalant way.
You will certainly feel it: I do not sit still, I cannot accept everything from the bible.
My world of thoughts received expansion and depth.
I am not capable of accepting a God who approves that there is injustice, I cannot accept a God who treats the universal legislative power unjustly.
I do not want to accept that He beats us in that way.
I cannot do it!
But where do we find the answer, a word that fits our western emotional life?
Did you also gain wisdom in the East?
Where were you?’
When I told him that I had visited ancient Egypt and had been allowed to participate with the Temple priests in the consecrated services, he sighed:
‘You see, my dearest wish.
I had really wanted to be a world traveller.
As a child I already played with my friends and we made a trip round the world.
The places we visited!
When I later realised, as a boy of eighteen years old, that you need money for that, that was a blow to my head.
How I suffered because of that lack.
And now I see the same longings again in various boys.
I do not know what that means.
Travelling and gaining wisdom.
Experiencing everything which God created for us, getting to know the peoples of the earth.
Oh, how I can envy you.
And then Egypt?
The Pyramid of Giza?
The decayed Temples, the Sphinx?
My God, why not I as well?
That happiness was not laid aside for me.
Tell me, what was it like there?’
I gave the good man my mercy received.
However, I added:
‘Tell me, doctor, when can you leave here?
When can you have a few years off, so that you can go where you want?’
‘Are you taking me to fata morganas?
No, do not go into a dead end, I have already written that off a long time ago.’
‘And yet, doctor, that possibility has also been laid aside for you.
Tell me, when can you have some time off?’
‘Where are you leading?’
‘I do not begrudge you what I received there.
What you have done for our child, makes us happy.
Even if we know that you will get him back sooner or later, you did everything which lay in your capacity.
He is in good hands here and that is worth everything to us.
However, we will also come back, doctor.
If you ask me, in a few months time.
I think that he will then already throw away his health, even if he cannot help it himself, or change, the laws will speak to our life.’
‘What was it like in Tibet?
Amazing, wasn’t it?’
‘You will also see and experience it yourself, doctor Lent ...
There is still God!
This little chap will soon explain the laws to us.’
We look at René, who comes to us with the male nurse.
‘Do you think?
I know the phenomena of his drawing and painting and sometimes words pass those lips, which take me into the arms of those who live and die for this.
But try looking at the others?
They also sometimes speak in such a way that we are ashamed of ourselves; however, tomorrow, in a few hours time, they will return to their vaults, where they lock themselves up and no longer think of any supernatural material life.
Just get them out again.
A curse is the consequence, sexual rowdiness, poverty, it is a miserable existence.
Can progress be detected?
It goes on like this, one day they will also die.
And now, where are they going?
Is this it, by means of which we will enter heavens?
Can the soul as a personality through one mad existence enter the Divine Heavens?
I do not believe that.
Of course, we will look for new possibilities.
Is it possible that the soul lives on earth more than once?
Are there hells?
Are there possibilities to belong to the other peoples?
Do you believe in reincarnation, as theosophy teaches us?
Do you believe in spiritualism, astral possession?
I would like to know all of that consciously, you are now so powerless.
How far did professor Groevers get with his imposed hypnosis?
If you meet him, give him my best wishes.
I have every interest in his systems, his method to give these lives the powers to begin again.
I know that you are friends.’
‘I will not forget it, but we will come back and we will also discuss a few matters with each other.
All the best, doctor!’
René shuffles next to me.
The boy thinks about different matters, he tears himself away from ‘Freckle-face’, Little Bramble, from ‘Stuff and Nonsense’ and Hungry Bert, from Nico Sour and Gerrit Scandalous, all his friends there.
I find them funny names and go into them.
I have received the insight as to how I can gradually elevate him from this life.
He must be able to talk himself completely empty, it is only then that he can experience other thoughts and he is separate from his friends and the life in the institution.
This seems the best thing to me with which I can now begin, because it will help him and his lively nature to let off steam.
I therefore ask:
‘Who is that ‘Freckle-face’, René?’
‘He is a beast of a boy, Uncle Frederik.
He is a Judas!’
‘Because you can never rely on that beast.
But are we not going with the car?
Did Father not have time?
Why did he not come with you?
And could Mother and Anna not get away for a while?’
That suddenly comes flying out.
He thinks about a thousand things at the same time.
That will soon speed up his breakdown.
We people think that these souls cannot think, that they are too stupid to formulate thoughts, but you keep having the opposite proved.
I say to him:
If I tell you something, then you will listen, won’t you?’
‘I do that anyway, don’t I, Uncle Frederik?’
‘Of course, you do that, but you race from here to there.
Just a moment ago you suddenly asked me different questions.
We were talking about Freckle-face and you involve Father, Mother and Anna.
Now I do not know anymore where I should start.
What did you ask again?’
He reflects, and then he says: ‘You are right, Uncle Frederik.
You must just forgive me.
I will do my best.
The male nurse also keeps saying it, but, you see, it is not so simple.
You must think and you cannot, and suddenly all those thoughts fly over your lips.
Strange, isn’t it, Uncle Frederik?’
‘That is not so strange, René.
If only you would stick to one thing, then order will come.
Where were we again, René?’
Oh, yes ... about Freckle-face and that you can never rely on that beast.’
‘Because he pesters you, hits and spits.
If you walk next to him, he hits you from behind.
He wants to trip you up.
And if he manages it that beast has the greatest fun.’
‘But can Freckle-face help that, René?
Did you really think that he feels so much like pestering you?’
‘He does it, doesn’t he?’
‘And you then, when you have to go in the straitjacket?’
‘Yes ... I did not think of that.
But for me it is booha, for Freckle-face it is... it is..."
You see, you do not know it.
Freckle -face cannot help it.
Of course, we adults, which you are almost a part of, cannot approve of that just like that.
We must try to be in harmony with life and with the boys, do you understand that?’
"I am doing it, Uncle Frederik.
I have given Freckle-face all my marbles.
But then he was sorry about it.’
‘Are you not then, when you let rip in such a way?
Were you always good to them!
Who is now more ill, you or Freckle-face?’
‘He is, of course, he will never leave there again, says the male nurse.
We must be able to forgive Freckle-face for a load of stuff.
And may I now ask, Uncle Frederik, why Father and Mother and Anna did not come with you?’
‘You see, now we are making progress.
Father could not get away, there were too many patients.
Mother and Anna want to have everything in order before we come.
And I thought it would be nicer for a change to let you go by train.’
‘Good, I am extremely pleased, Uncle Frederik.’
And now there comes:
‘Uncle Frederik, will you help me?’
‘But of course, René, with everything.
If you promise me that you will do your best, I will help you with everything.’
‘May I go with you to the East?’
‘That as well, René.
If you do your best, that will also be possible.
But how do you know that?
Did Anna write to you?’
‘You told me yourself.
You even let me see it.
You liked it there, didn’t you, Uncle Frederik?’
‘It was beautiful there, René.
You may come with me later.
But who is Gerrit Scandalous?
Why do you call him that?’
‘We did not give him that name, Uncle Frederik.
He got it from his home.
His sister said it.
Gerrit was at her behind.’
‘Ugh, that is not allowed.
People lock you up for that, do you know that?’
‘I know, I will watch out.’
‘How old are you now, René?’
‘I will be thirteen, Uncle Frederik.’
‘Who told you that?’
‘The male nurse says that.
He teaches us to count and to do arithmetic.
At least me and a few boys, the others cannot do it.’
‘They do not have the sense for it, Uncle Frederik.’
‘Do you know that for certain?’
‘You can see that, can’t you?
They have no sense, they have nothing!’
‘And you understand that?’
‘You do not need to understand that, you can see that, after all.’
‘And are you so certain of that, René?’
’I do not know, but I am different, amn’t?’
‘So, you know that.
And who is hungry Bert?’
‘That is a rich man’s son, Uncle Frederik.
That beast is always hungry and steals the food.
But we have taught him not to do it.’
‘Who are those we ...?’
‘Little Bramble, the Sparrow, the Poop box and me.’
‘So, you hit him of course and forgot that little Bert is also ill.
Can he help it that he is hungry?’
‘Can I help it then, Uncle Frederik?
Is it our fault then?
The male nurse also hit him.’
‘I do not believe that.’
He hit him because he had stolen the food.
And how he hit him!’
‘That is not nice, René.
How can you hit a child like that?’
‘The doctor does not want that, but he does it!’
‘The male nurse?’
‘Not the one who brought me, he is a good man, that other one, with his crooked nose.’
A man, I think, beats everything out which other people have built up with so much trouble and worries.
Just phone this evening, Frederik.
That must not happen, as a result of this a great deal will be lost.
He asks me:
‘Will we go and look at the paintings again, Uncle Frederik?
And did you bring along nice coloured pencils?’
‘Also that, René.
And we will see other paintings.
If you do your best, we will go to Amsterdam.
There are beautiful paintings.
You will see them.’
‘Okay, but I will not go back there again, will I?’
‘If you do your best, then no.
But if you become angry again?
What must we do then?’
He thinks, meanwhile we sit in our train and look through the windows.
He cannot get enough of it.
He asks nothing, he enjoys, and makes remarks such as:
‘Aren’t those cows big, Uncle Frederik!
I wish I could paint them.
Is that difficult?’
‘You know that after all.
Did you not try it?’
‘It is difficult, Uncle Frederik.’
‘You see, now you are pulling my leg.
You know it and yet you ask for an opinion.
Why do you do that, René?’
‘Because you do not know it yourself, Uncle Frederik.’
‘What do I not know?’
‘That painting cows, I mean.
You do it and you do not get them.’
‘What do you not get?’
‘Now ... that framework or whatever it is called!
Can you paint those cows then as they are?’
‘What do you want to paint then, René?’
‘Now ... that is really something, the cow, of course.
Just like those walking there.’
‘Oh, no, that is not simple.
Do you wish to be able to do that already?
Years of study are needed for it.’
‘Then I will learn it.
Where can you learn that, Uncle Frederik?
Freckle-face also wants to paint.
Little Bramble too. But Bert is useless at it.
Jan Scrooge cannot do it either.’
‘Who is Jan Scrooge this time?’
‘He is the son of a miller.
He is full of meanness.’
‘Is he called Jan Scrooge?’
‘Of course not, he is called Woltes ... but we all call him that.’
‘And what name were you given, René?’
Whether I was given a name?’
‘Is that so strange then?’
‘They call me the Bellows, Uncle Frederik, and Poacher.’
Poacher and Bellows.
‘Because I poached a chicken, just like at home, but then I was ill, Uncle Frederik.’
‘I understand that, René.
And that Bellows?’
‘Because my face goes red when I lie, Uncle Frederik.’
‘And who gave you that name?’
‘Freckle-face and Gerrit Scandalous.
Gerrit is coming to visit me.
Is that allowed, Uncle Frederik?
He says that Father can make him better.
Can Father do that?’
‘No, he cannot.
Your Father has other things to do.’
‘But Father is a doctor, after all.
Father can also make me better, can’t he?’
‘Father has done everything which was possible, but it did not work, son, this is why you keep having to go back there.’
‘But not now anymore, do I, Uncle Frederik?’
‘If you do your best, no, we will help you.’
He looks at the cows and thinks about painting.
After a while he asks:
‘May I now learn to paint, Uncle Frederik?
Will the man who teaches that come to us?
Or must we go to him?’
‘You must first be better, son.
Later, when you are completely better, you may learn to paint from him.’
‘Okay, then I will not become ill again.
I do not want to be ill.
I want to paint.
Also people, Uncle Frederik.
Is that difficult?’
‘I think that it is the most difficult thing there is.
It is not easy in any case.
But if you do your best, it is possible.
We will see, René.
But remember that you will have to go back as soon as you become angry.’
‘And if it is not me?’
‘Who is it then?’
‘You know that anyway, Uncle Frederik.’
‘That is true, René, but you are the one who is to blame for it.
Would you think that people would let a thief go if he says that it is not he himself?’
‘Yes, but he is not ill.’
‘Who says so?
Could a thief not have a boeha?
You always think about yourself.
I ask you, could that thief not have a boeha?’
‘In order to pinch?’
‘In order to steal ... in order to rob, in order to commit arson and such things.
But would people believe that?’
‘Of course not.’
‘Well, do you now think that you will be rid of your boeha because of your illness?
You must remain yourself.
People will not be able to interfere with boehas.
And in addition, you are not a small child.
You are already a big boy.
However, if you approve of that boeha you are playing a hoax, you must go back to the institution.
So what do you do?
Say to him: see that you leave.
You only have to be calm for this.
Then we can live at home together and there will be nothing the matter.
However, if you give boeha the right to throw pots and pans and to say those ugly dirty things, which frighten Mother and hurt Anna and Father and I do not know what to do, then you will go back in the straitjacket of your own accord.
And that is the most terrible thing that there is.’
‘Why do you put me in it, Uncle Frederik?’
‘Must we then approve, René, that you and your boeha smash everything to pieces?’
‘Do I do that then?’
‘Do you not know that then?’
‘But then I am ill anyway, Uncle Frederik.
Then ... then I cannot think ...
Then I can murder you!’
‘You see, that’s the point.
Because you are ill and we must put you in the straitjacket, you can murder us, can you?’
‘If I could just get you.’
‘But you just cannot do that.
But as long as – and now you must listen to me carefully, René – as long as you approve that boeha allows you to throw those things into smithereens, as long as you smash everything to pieces and would prefer to jump out the window, you will go so long in the straitjacket.
We know that you find that terrible, but what do you want?’
‘Why do you do it then, Uncle Frederik?’
‘Do you not understand, René, that we do cannot approve of that?’
‘But there are enough pots and pans, aren’t there?’
‘Yes, but that is not the idea.
No, if you do that, you will irrevocably go back to Freckle-face and the others, until you stop it.’
I notice that he can now almost talk like a healthy human being.
He knows that things are thrown and he does not yet know it.
Boeha forces him to accept that life.
This is his battle!
This battle must be fought, until he himself calls a powerful halt, a to here and not further.
Indeed no small thing, but we will help him.
He is more conscious.
He can think better and can already also argue the spoken word.
He remembers things.
This is still not conscious.
I feel that there is still only fifteen per cent of the normal thinking and feeling lacking.
You can already talk to him for eighty-five per cent, if this life is itself completely.
I know that he will become a good painter.
We will soon send him to a master and then we will get to see a completely different personality.
He must have a good driving force, a man who understands and senses his pupils.
Here a born talent is busy manifesting itself.
And that is happening with a power such as you rarely see, consciously, sharply, knowingly!
These are qualities which will be capable of killing that boeha from his life and being.
And it is only then that his inner life will reach development, working and natural equality, without the traps, the holes, which are in his personality and as a result of which he keeps having to accept his fall again.
However, we are making progress, we may not complain, what we will now still get to experience will be child’s play compared to what already lies behind us and was buried.
We are there and get off!
He looks, he follows everything, in the street he is no trouble at all, he wants to absorb everything and he has no time to ask questions.
He does not grant himself any time for it.
And that is also a good sign, because you see because of it that this soul life is interested in everything.
He is no longer a psychopath!
This life has nothing more to do with that grade of madness, this life is awakening and is releasing itself from inner disorders.
He looks people in the eye without fear, stands next to me when we have to stop for a moment, holds my hand tight, which in itself is an unforgettable benevolence, he can open himself so trustingly to your life and thinking.
He surrenders himself completely to you.
Only that boeha is still there.
Without him we would have made it.
I know that it will still remain for a while, but we will continue!
For so far I can now feel him and can analyse his life and soul with the Sultan, with the man who understands all the occult laws and was able to obtain a grade of conscious himself, by conquering himself while asleep, so that he can go where he wants, I have the possibility of helping him and sending him over that chasm.
Sjowhoea says the same thing as Mohammed.
According to him, René must possess the epileptic, but conscious sleep, which now sends us to the ‘psychic’ certainty, as that was experienced and was received in ancient Egypt, but must be seen as a blessing, as a Divine gift.
This is why he feels so much for his situation!
We have spoken about it often.
It would be amazing if René possessed that supernatural ability.
According to Mohammed that is the case.
The one or two people from ancient Egypt who carried this supernatural gift in themselves, were the very highest there which a soul could experience and was able to receive as a human being.
That was, as he calls that ... the Great Winged One!
I know everything about it, but we must wait and see whether this is the case.
From the phenomena, he says, both occultists say, you can see his power!
He had everything to spare to be able to see little René.
He even wanted to already take over the education of the child now.
However, when he got to know his soul, examined me thoroughly as it were, for which purpose he went into a sleep, experienced his ecstasy, he said to me:
‘Frederik, you can do it yourself.
If you need me, you must just think of me and I will send you the desired thoughts from here, or I will come and speak to you.
You will see me then!
Wherever you are, Frederik, I will find you!’
Both the Sultan and Mohammed, two worlds, which had not spoken to each other, showed me an image of René’s previous life.
I can see the last life before me, says Mohammed.
Well, my friend, I will go and have a look.
And then you will see a person like that falling asleep before your eyes, become as white as a sheet; the life looks like it has died, which lasts a quarter of an hour, a half an hour, sometimes hours.
The personality comes back of its own accord, breathes deeply for a moment, and I hear him say:
‘René is called ...
Hadju ... has come back, in order to now provide the West with our life and our wisdom, according to what was decided by Amon-Ré.
I saw him in the Temples of Ra, Ré and Isis!
Believe me, Frederik, your people is blessed.
However, you have a difficult task.
I will help you.
If there are worries, come back to me.
You know how we can be reached.
Send your messenger to me, my life and soul.
Let her fly and accomplish her messages under your authority.
I will meet her and accept your messages.
We will do tests, Frederik.
We will make use of the time that you are here.’
And then a word passed his lips, which gave me such a fright, that I dropped the glass of wine which I had in my hands.
For he said:
‘The confirmation that I am correct.
I can see more, but if I was to give you everything, Frederik, believe me, you would succumb under it.
The laws of the universe give you precisely what you can cope with.
They calculate your emotional life and conscious.
Is the name Marja so opposing, so intense, that you must succumb before my eyes?
You see it, everything receives meaning.
Oh, we know your master, Frederik.
Do not tell any parents what you were able to receive because of your trip.
I can also see for your life!
Is it clear to you, Frederik, that you will no longer be able to get married in this life?
Do you know what people expect from your life?
Is that marriage necessary?
I can tell you, my friend, you have not yet made any mistakes.
Continue like this.
When I speak in the elevated choice of words, and you hear ‘thy’ and the polite form of ‘you’, the laws of your life will call me back and I also have to accept this.
I will then stand before you as your master.
If we are ready, then I want to be close to you and you will hear the informal ‘you’ from me and the friendly ‘you’, or we will speak English and will not know that difference.
But have faith, Frederik, that this life will reveal itself and that you and your people will have the laws explained to you.’
Marja ... I thought ...
‘Did you read that name somewhere?’
‘I saw that this life belonged to his.
She lives on earth.
He will meet her.
There is nothing which will stop this reunion!
She is the form ... which will help and support him in this gigantic carrying.
How she comes to his life is a law, which we can do nothing about.
The person who will succumb because of it, Frederik, will make up what was once done wrong in previous lives.
From time to time, in a few years time, he will start.
So do not forget that Marja belongs to him.
What is now horrible for all of you, will soon be a blessing for your life, for your people and this humanity!’
And the Sultan says exactly the same thing.
This is why Erica was given so many beautiful things.
‘She as mother of this spiritual wonder, must be honoured and spoiled.
People must make her happy, people must see her life as a tree which gives you its fruits, as the wine which we drink, and thank the God of our life for it.
Give me René and I will give you a fortune.
Sell me that child, I will give you everything for your fool.
What would Erica and Karel say about it?
What do you think, Frederik, is it not possible?
Would you think that I will get the child in my possession?
No, you don’t, you are not like that, you do not want to miss the child for all the money in the world.
Oh, I wanted to also be able to buy this happiness.
I tell you, for my life and that of other people a revelation would come.
To be able to live in his presence is a mercy from God, to be able to wait for his development is the very greatest happiness imaginable!
It is the most beautiful thing of all for this world, Frederik.
Do you know that?’
And the name Marja also passed his lips!
A sweet name, inwardly in harmony with infinity.
The Sultan showed me where this life was born and where it would be now.
And a moment later there followed: ‘She is already there, Frederik!
I can see that her form has already received conscious and that he has already brought her name to materialisation.
You see, ancient Egypt and the West would reach spiritual unity, that is what we wanted and which is only now taking place!
So, despite everything, we are making progress!
Despite everything good will triumph over evil!’
I saw him contemplating.
He reflected and saw something, which pleased him greatly.
Inner joy was reflected in his face.
They were amazing moments for me!
And there also followed:
‘Frederik, will you understand this love?
Will you help this being to bear it and will you never forget, when the Gods manifest themselves, that these souls belong together?
Now you are faced with Ra, Ré and Isis, the Sphinx and the Pyramid, Frederik, to which they already devoted their life blood centuries ago.
I see that, and also your friend, Mohammed, my brother, will perceive it for your life.
We find ourselves in a world, we receive the seeing through a source!’
Precisely because of and from the phenomena, they saw that little René had known many lives.
Because of this, this life had received the mercy to reveal itself to our western emotional life.
Is there anything else, I think to myself, now that we are returning home and he is walking in such a lanky way next to me.
You should see the two of us stumbling along.
And this child prodigy does not know nowhere near what is the matter.
This life does not feel what will happen, it is too sober for this!
Because of this it behaves strangely!
And we have experienced this strangeness all those years, we have been beaten by it, in such a way, I believe, that no parents have been beaten.
How much talk did we have to accept?
All that gossip. I cannot bear thinking about it.
And yet we have had proof.
Did the name Marja not pass his thin lips?
The way he said that then, it was already a revelation for me.
He whispered it, he gave that name inspiration, in the way he pronounces the word ‘nice’.
It is like a salve on a small wound and you feel a happiness because of it, which you cannot cope with.
It is as if you are floating, the same as I was able to experience on this trip, the way in which he pronounced this word.
Is this not a great wonder?
Was that not the moment that his subconscious came to the life of every day?
Is this not the birth of a thing which belongs to the subconscious?
Do we still have to take a wrong track now that we stand before the God of all life and can be given revelations to us?
Must we say as sobersides: no, I do not want that, I am not allowed, because it is demonic?
I have not yet seen that devil, even if I have to agree that boeha looks like him, has lain in the gutter with him.
Well, the things we had experienced.
And everything is certainly not a holiness.
Now I had to accept that it is part of it!
And that this can be precisely seen, felt, because it shows itself.
And that this is a revelation for our life and being.
When little René materialised the name Marja, he crawled up the stairs.
Higher and higher, like an old man.
I can still see him!
That oldness now, appeared from the subconscious life and materialised itself through an emotional power, a world, in which that Marja lived.
And when it was there, the name experienced that materialisation, he sat thinking about it like a philosopher.
A moment later Anna lifted him and put him to bed.
Within a second he was sleeping like a baby.
What kind of worlds did we experience anyway with this child?
I am now beginning to understand a great deal about all the phenomena, because I was able to experience the old for the new.
And I received that from the Sphinx and Mohammed and my friend, the Sultan.
When René gave Marja a hand spiritually in order to take her to the surface for his and her life, you would have sworn that this life was there!
Marja received meaning through him; also at the moment that I was with him in that other world, René asked Marja whether she wanted to come sooner or later in order to give him her happiness and love.
Marja is something wonderful for his life!
Marja let him sit down to reflect like an old man.
He went higher and higher, upstairs, but at that moment Erica was looking precisely into ancient Egypt, she saw light coming from those hazy eyes.
Erica went to pieces that day, and for years afterwards she could still see that radiating beauty in his eyes.
‘At that moment, Frederik, the inner light broke through and the sober West got to see the first shadow of a wonderful ancient past.
And you, my friend, are now his guide!
A mercy was given to your life.
We have no rights to take away this child from you, but do you not feel that we are capable of giving it an education in the way it should be?’
Marja, I now understand that completely, received consciousness through René.
She lives in him or she lives through him.
These souls are connected to each other and there will be nothing which will disrupt this unity.
The science from the East is a certainty which defies everything and to which I must bow my head.
This reality was given to me just like that there, it was pulled from me, sucked up, I believe, in the way little René can do that.
This has nothing to do with born telepathy, Mohammed says, but is ‘knowing’.
They are the occult laws.
He is capable of seeing back into many lives.
Sjowhoea too, my Sultan!
They know the laws for soul, spirit and material.
And our little René does not know that?
Does he not possess a single gram of conscious for this awe-inspiring past?
However, we see what he has already given us.
I first received that reality from the Sultan and Mohammed, then from the Pyramid of Giza and the Sphinx also spoke of it.
It was midnight, the moon stood blood-red in the sky, signs, Mohammed said, that predicted the coming of the Pyramid.
Those people there are capable of experiencing a sleep which is no longer material, but has to do with soul, spirit and material.
That sleep now comes straight up from the subconscious, to development and revelation and they needed a study of thirty years in order to reach that height.
Mohammed said: ‘Thousands have succumbed there, went mad and were faced with death; we were allowed to reach it.’
And the Sultan also said:
‘Do you now know, Frederik, how I speak with my snakes and why they do not do anything to me?’
I am now starting to understand much of René’s phenomena.
Was he not also in that unnatural sleep?
Did he not also lay in a state, which Karel, Hans and all the academics thought of as epilepsy?
Did they not think of polio?
The West does not yet know these laws, it is therefore something very different.
If little René had had to accept these phenomena as an illness, then he would still be like that!
However, the child is walking next to me, is thinking, looking, already sees a great deal.
And we were faced with a pile of misery, another, material destruction.
However, that polio later became sexual destruction.
Yes, yes, we have to give it a name.
I am not missing out any bits, but I can see light!
I am not fobbing myself off with something.
I am sure of myself.
I will wait and see, it will come!
The things my trip was good for.
Or would I now be able to say: I went myself and under my own power?
I do not believe it anymore, I can now see direction in everything.
Even doctor Lent will make his trip!
He is also a child of ancient Egypt, whose soul life longs again for home and for ‘Mother’.
Are all of us not longing to see and to get to know that ‘Mother’?
To feel her kiss?
When these longings awaken as feelings in the human being, we are faced with the Goddess of Isis and with the Temples of Ra and Ré and that of Luxor.
She is still our ‘Mother’!
Because of her universal mediation we got to know the God of all life and we saw His wonderful form.
It does not matter where the money comes from, it comes and therefore the human being makes that little trip.
It is now I who will give him that opportunity and that is also already a mercy.
Now you lie kneeled at the feet of Giza and the Sphinx!
You walk over heaps of rubble, you kiss the stones, you behave just like a madman, if the living dead being from the West would see you.
However, you must see your own opening, you must be open to it, or you can just go home, people do not feel and hear you there.
The ‘Mother’ does not give any answer, you cannot be reached.
However, if that is possible, you experience that ‘mad’ love!
You suck yourself full to the brim until you lose your own conscious, but when you awaken you are lying in her arms!
You look into eyes which know everything, everything, about yourself and your loved ones.
When I received that universal truth, I heard the Goddess say:
‘And, Frederik, how did my flesh and blood remain during all those centuries?
Am I still the same for you?’
I called: ‘Yes, in every way!
And the Sphinx added:
‘This is now that mad love, Frederik, but you look behind the mask.
Do not forget your sandals, Frederik.
I layd my head on the sand and sobbed from happiness.
Then she also said:
‘For shame, big boy, are you not ashamed of yourself?
I will tell Anna!’
What then happened to me only got through to me much later.
Mohammed gave me an explanation for it, for which I could thank him with everything from my small life.
However, he understood it.
At that moment I was off my rocker, but only for our West, hundreds of people there congratulated me, gave me flowers, because it was such a revelation for me.
And I understood everything!
It was a great wonder!
I ran into the desert, ran away, to come to myself.
And if she had not watched over me, I swear to you that by God and all the angels, I would have met my death.
However, then she said:
‘Can you hear me, Frederik?’
What is it?’
‘You are lost, Frederik.
Now watch carefully: I will bring you back to my life.
Look to the left ...
Can you see that height there before you?’
‘You go up that.
When you are at the top, I will show you my direction.’
I go up, and when I was there, after labouring for an hour, sometimes up to my neck in sand, I heard:
‘And now straight through those valleys, then go up yonder and turn left, for an hour, in order to come back to me.
At my feet you will then receive your punishment, Frederik?’
And I came there!
And I received my punishment!
But I was so grateful for it.
Then she also said:
‘My life is open to those, Frederik, who can bow their heads.
I love these children.
However, they cannot do that, yes, then they will have to perish!’
Little René was like this supernatural protection.
Did he not sink into that deep sleep under my hands?
Did he not lay kneeled at the feet of his mother?
I know, I, it was the case!
I received my proof for it.
I now do not know what to do with my foundations, but I will come so far!
Little René slept in that secretive state and namely for days on end.
There is therefore a bit of the East present in this child, which we do not know yet, but that the initiated there considered great and wonderful.
And to have to hear all of this from a human being, who knew nothing about this child?
People did not know little René there, but they knew Rachi-Hadju.
However, it was not long before these lives were completely one and unconsciousness became consciousness!
People know him there, his name and his stage of birth, people know there for what purpose this life was born!
I then said to myself: I will wait and see!
And then I received my full marks, because I had not made any big mistakes.
Or, as Mohammed said, we do everything in order to bring that life here and to begin with that education!
Yes, little René, I fling all of this into the universe, but our friends in the East pick up my feeling and thinking.
They are following us!
Little madman that you are, what do you want to have now from Uncle Frederik?
And look, the Goddess opens her wings and we are already flying, just us, us!
‘What I want to have, Uncle Frederik?
New colouring pencils!’
I take him in my arms, I almost crush him to death from happiness, so that the people think: what does that chap there want with that child.
However, when they recognise us, they see who we are, people on the farm take off their caps to us.
I said to myself: you see, those people knew you.
What used to be pharaohs are now farmers.
Just put your cap back on, my dear friend, we thank you!
I would give you ten guilders, if I was allowed to do it, but we know that we will be laughed at anyway and called mad, because we see that you do not know this happiness.
So we do not do it!’
‘But you, little man, will get colouring pencils!
Nice ones, little René, really nice ones!’
‘Okay, Uncle Frederik, okay, I am so happy.’
Can you also feel that oldness, I say to myself!
This is oldness!
This is consciousness.
Only the adult life can feel happiness so deeply and interpret it in words.
However, he can feel it so deeply!
‘The epileptic sleep’, says Mohammed, ‘is a material disruption, which receives the nutrition between the small and large brains and has lost the natural tension and reproduction as a result of a paralysed or disturbed nerve.
If that tension is approaching, then a gap comes between the driving power of thought and you see a gap emerge between the consciousness as material and as spirit and you fall to the ground.
When you see trembling and shaking and convulsions, that means that the rest of this beaten and broken conscious does not wish to make that fall and wishes to live.
Now you see those phenomena.
It is the battle of life and of death, the battle to keep the conscious or to let go of it.
It is the personality which resists with all its strength, which is not possible anyway, because a gap has emerged.’
Is there anything else?, I thought.
What do we know about that?
‘The spiritual sleep, which little René possesses, comes straight from the subconscious to life and conscious, straight from the inner life, and penetrates into the day conscious, of which it dominates the fourth grade of sleep, the normal human sleep.
However, this sleep has nothing to do with the material systems and represents universal burial, the very highest which we were able to get to know in Isis and Ra and could achieve!
I assure you, even if there were now material disruptions, which are purposeful for the psychopathic child and as a result of which you were able to get to know this illness there, the soul of René would go around them and manifest itself, whatever those opposing powers are.
I therefore mean, even if René had remained ill, apathetic, then you would still have been able to receive wisdom from time to time, because his personality knows and possesses the laws for it!
I assure you of this, Frederik, even if material systems were disrupted, if nerve centres were weakened, with epileptic sleep and phenomena as a consequence, which bring down the conscious, so that your doctors do not know what to do, this of René follows its own way.
We have found a method in order to cure the first grades for this illness and namely by sleep, your hypnosis!
René’s sleep dominates every material reaction and is a born independence for his life, which he mastered in the Temples of Ra, Ré and Isis.
And that wonder lives in your midst and is considered as a madman there.
You could have helped him, already when he still lived in the mother, but you were not yet that far.
We will help you, Frederik, and soon show you all those wonders.
We will prove to you that the child already possesses that own independence in the mother.
Because of art his life will awaken.
You get nice things from me for that purpose, you yourself will provide the colouring pencils.
Just wait, I will soon be back, I will see how our child is.’
When I read out the letter from Erica to him, he said:
‘You see, Frederik, you can thank the God of all life.
One evening he said:
‘Look here, what I have had made for your Prince of the Universe.
Only when he is twenty-one years old, it will be permissible for him to wear this garment.
I hope to see you with him earlier, because I want to absorb his material form in me, so that I will be able to support him later.
I had the garment made by an initiated priestess, in order to not to defile it in advance.
Rachi-Hadju would reproach me with it later, I know!’
And the Sultan said to his women and friends: ‘I do not believe, my children, that this life is for sale for me.
After all, there are limits, there is a universal halt!’
They had wanted to have René there so much.
And he is now walking next to me and behaves as if he is not yet born.
He is walking next to me and looking at everything and calls me ‘Uncle Frederik’.
Yet this life is busy laying the first foundations.
He as a human being and personality is carrying stones in order to elevate a university, such as the sober West has not yet seen.
And that because of a mad child?
Yes, the things we already know; in the years which passed we received radishes with divine syrup to eat, flowers of incredible beauty to see, but which are not looked at by our sober mind.
A stick-in-the-mud will try nothing new, but what an intellectual does not consider as a university concept, is buried alive!
And people do not like that mask, people are afraid of it, people would prefer to weep until their tears run dry!
I have fallen back into that harsh and rough, but how must you say it?
Must I put a string of frills around it?
Make a fairground of it, now that we come to stand before reality?
Must I say yes and jubilantly sing out my Amen?
Must I, now that I received all of that, keep quiet even longer, promote helplessness and bandage the human conscience in a childishly naïve way and lay stink upon stink?
Create rotten acts of violence, prevent besotted airs, because you cannot tell a church-goer the truth?
If you do not know what this means, just work it out for yourself, I have never become angry about it.
Yet it says something, but it will never become a concept!
You can say it to everything, people will never call you to account, never!
This also possesses a mask!
Mohammed said to me:
‘Do you think, Frederik, that you started this trip under your own power?
Did you think that the ways of God did not receive His certainty before?
Did you think that you could take a step outside His living independence?
No, dear friend, that is out of the question.
That justice lives under your heart.
It is awakening, direction!’
A moment later there also came: ‘Do you know, Frederik, that you once placed mantraps and clamps with this life for the other life and that you will now remove them again, so that the life will continue?
And there was also another life.
Must I mention her name?’
And he is walking next to me and is looking, searching for colouring pencils.
I have a chest full at home, but they are still too precious to spoil them already.
However, this life talks about little Gerrit, about Freckle-face, little Bart and all kinds of things and he wants to do art .
A certainty which defies everything, which does not know any fickleness, does not mangle any lack of discretion about sacred recklessness, this is and will remain conscious, even if the consciousness is temporarily exhausted.
We are home. Erica and Anna can let themselves go.
And he lets himself be nicely spoiled, he has the knack for it like a born prince.
The same old story, for a few minutes they can mess around with him, kiss him and be nice to him, then he has had enough of it and runs upstairs.
Now he is no trouble, it is drawing and painting!
That went well for three weeks.
Then he sunk back again and ran out into the street like a wild bull.
Windows were smashed to smithereens, people were afraid of this little chap, who ran into one street and out the other like a bolted horse, until he fell to the ground and remained lying.
Your heart would break, if you did not know any better.
Erica and Karel were dreadfully cut up by it again.
Now people already sympathise with us.
There is also a change coming in that.
I brought him home with a bloody head.
Broken in soul, spirit and material, a poor little pile of misery.
We did not yet need straitjackets, this life was broken.
And I heard again, despite all my assurances:
‘Is this now a spiritual child prodigy, Frederik?’
Those words did not come from one mouth, Erica, Karel and Hans flung them at me.
And I had to bow to it.
I could start to play blindman’s buff, I had to accept.
My trip was gone, gifts of incredible value and beauty became miserable trivialities, which people no longer looked at, had no more value.
Only one had value, little René, also for me, but people did not understand that again.
And the end of this sad story: back to the institution.
After a few days we could already leave.
The doctor said:
‘It is going well!
Have no fears ... we will make it!’
According to Karel he was off his rocker.
However, where did this human being get his certainty from?
I did not need to talk about it, Karel could not be reached.
We lost this boy for nine months again.
Meanwhile I continued.
I received contact with Mohammed and the Sultan.
As a result of universal rowdiness I received those laws in my hands.
When I also started to doubt my task, Mohammed suddenly stood before me.
He looked at me in a piercing way and spoke:
‘You see, Frederik, if we were not there, nothing would become of this education.
Have you lost your faith?
Did you really think that this was not necessary?
What is a study for us, becomes a study for Rachi-Hadju!
What we had to accept in our dungeons, Frederik, is the temporary sinking away for him and being broken for the daily self, which will receive form anyway.
Come on, brother, do not go on a wrong track, the Gods have this life in their hands.
The West and the East have one life, one being, one soul, one spirit!
Had you expected it differently?
I will return, Frederik, you know that I can move.
Just look, you have come into my life, I have accepted your life.
Greetings to everyone.
I know that they will not yet believe you, but at the end of your life you will receive their true kiss.
All the previous ones have no meaning!
And the apparition went away, the apparition dissolved before my eyes.
Was I sleeping?
Was I dreaming?
I do not believe it: that was Mohammed.
The Sultan also met me and had something to say to me and little René.
Only for a moment, just a few words.
At the same time, hour and second, only touched for a moment, René came back to us.
‘When the first snow comes’, he also says, ‘he will return again to his dungeon.
You are now prepared!’
And what do you say, when those things happen?
Still shrug your shoulders and spread your feathers, show your thorns, put a white collar around your intellect, hide your being naked and nakedness by distorted talk, gossip in the universe?
Karel said: ‘You cackle like my father’s turkey, but the end of the story is: into the saucepan!’
In other words, your mince tastes of chicken relish.
A chicken which plays for grandfather and is a wonder on its own, but which is not bought by a normal thinking and feeling human being, because it cannot be edible.
Karel also said:
‘Everything is wonderful, Frederik, I have sacred respect for you, you know that, but start to look at these things for yourself, what remains of all your talk?
Must we become engrossed in Sphinxes and Pyramids, while you smell the Dutch manure?
Must we accept even longer that you have Sultans and Mohammeds as friends?
I am grateful for your gifts, have sacred respect for your good deeds, but what remains of it, if you are taken in by your goodness?’
Harsh, isn’t it, there also followed, harsh, isn’t it ... what do you expect?
I looked at him, he got a taste for it and also said:
‘Did you see him walking, Frederik?
Did you see him bolting through the streets like a madman?
Did you not see what he was like, have you forgotten that?
My God, where must this ship strand.
Must I accept you?
Must Hans accept you?
Should we fall to our knees and thank God for all the good things?
Must we lie at the feet of old ruins, lie at Pyramids, let ourselves be locked up in Kings chambers, and whatever else?
Must we accept you, I ask you, if you can sense with your clog that you are busy becoming senile?
I am starting to believe, Frederik, that you have our child under your influence.
You are it or you are not, but this is no longer a normal world!
It is a big madhouse!’
One evening, René was in the straitjacket again, Karel gave me a hiding.
And also Hans, yes, even Erica had something to say to me.
That was the moment when Mohammed came to me again.
I sat on the edge of my bed, my head leaning on my hands, I was destroyed, disappointed.
Everything was gone, all those wonderful beautiful things had no longer any meaning.
Erica had dethroned herself!
Karel flung the cigarette case at my feet.
Hans also hesitated and placed his gifts next to it.
There I was.
Then words were said, which I do not wish to hear again, but I recorded them, the logbook speaks the truth!
Karel began, suddenly, but it had already been bothering him for a few days.
He was almost bursting with poison and envy ...
He feels taken for a ride.
Erica sat opposite me like an agitated broody hen, who sees that her little children are walking into the water and does not know that they tricked her and placed duck eggs under her.
The animal broods, but does not know that her brood is strange to her life and independence.
Only Anna stood next to me, stood like a tower of strength.
If that had not been the case then I would have ended my life.
Karel begun with: ‘Did you get your own way now, Frederik?’
I already knew that this question was neither here nor there, only just a means of being able to start.
I found it naïve and awkward.
‘Well’, Hans says, ‘what do you want, Frederik?
Do you have plans to return to the East, to ask advice about how we can continue?
You forget that you live here in the West.
This is really going too far.’
I now understood what the gentlemen were talking about.
I went back to the time when I was busy devoting myself to them, before the train had reached them.
Was I still there then and not here?
Was I there and was I not there?
However, then they would be right.
I raced like a madman through my life of the past while.
I went over all the things I had said and which words had passed my lips.
I found nothing special.
I was not too far away, I found myself very natural and normal for their thinking and feeling.
I had completely conquered and discarded the eastern mentality.
And now this!
Now this talk!
Now this attack upon my conscience and life, on everything, everything!
When Hans assumed that I was becoming senile, he touched a sensitive cord, which set me alight, but as a result of which I actually closed myself off, ensured my self, in order not to go off into a swoon.
But still, I thought, despite everything our darkness still bothers us!
The hells have flown empty, it is a fight for life and death of black magic against white!
Good and evil stand opposite each other!
Human reasoning against eastern mysticism, the present against the past!
Church finery against Pyramid and Sphinx consciousness, but that does not mean a thing, learning is intellect, no destruction is tolerated here!
And then there came:
‘Can you not feel that yourself then, Frederik, that you just saying any old thing?
Karel and I no longer want these gifts; we feel cheated.
They have a dirty smell to them!
You can make children happy with such things, not us, you are forgetting something.
What would people say about it if we were to spread your stories?
Did you think, Frederik, that we can eat and drink from blood-red moons and nocturnal hours?
That child needs a Dutch nappy!
Desert trips in the night, stone eyes which look at you, Goddesses who know your name as if they have borne you themselves, selling bow ties of five cents for good gold, wearing satin garments, with the mould in them, silk which kills the moth, selling heavenly kingdoms for the smile of a ruin, kissing earth and lying down on it and weeping until your tears run dry, no, that is going too far, Frederik, you have lost your mind.
We want to help you, we want to serve you, we want to give you this good advice: stop!
Stop, Frederik, you are going too far, you are moving with René to my institution, you are mad!’
I said – to myself – thank you!
I had nothing else to say, could not do it.
Then Karel said:
‘Hans is right, Frederik.
Come to yourself!
Go out again, go to the farmers and see that a Dutch cow is not a Sphinx!
I have arranged with my father that you can come for a while.
Go out and hear the cackle of the chickens, look at them laying eggs and do not call everything a miracle, you are becoming senile!
Go amongst the pigs and the horses, work it out, your head is possessed.
I no longer want that snake!
I do not want your gifts from the Sultan, you are a dreamer, a forget-me-not?
Don’t make me laugh.
Let me cry about you, it is worthwhile, Frederik, you are off your rocker!
You have lost it for ninety-nine per cent!
I can no longer approve that you follow René, you can see it yourself!’
‘I will no longer wear those things.
And I have sold René’s satin garment to the rag-and-bone man.
I gave the one guilder forty cents which I got for it to a beggar, who was almost starving, so that I hope I did good.
That eastern dung must leave the house and all your smudging must stop!
Karel is right, you will go as soon as possible to the farm.
What will you do, Frederik?
We mean well for you.
Are you not saying anything?’
‘I will go, Erica, that seems best.
Good heavens, boys, how grateful I am to you.
Hans, my compliments. Karel too.
Kick all these things to pieces as soon as possible.
Put that mess in the stove.
You are right.
How strangely a person can behave.
May I stay here?
Or must I look for other surroundings?’
‘We will wait and see, won’t we, Karel?
You will probably be different and you will see yourself how things are.’
‘Thank you, Erica.
I will watch out for myself!
Thank you very much, Hans, laymen must not interfere with philosophical systems.
I can see now that I am absolutely wrong, but I am not to blame for little René.
God preserve me.’
‘We do not say that, Frederik, it is your influence!
Telepathic transfer exists.
You must give yourself a good wash!
You must go into the Dutch ditches.
And a farm is suitable for that purpose.’
‘You are right, Hans.
Let us start by burning these things.’
‘We will do that ourselves, Frederik.
Just go ahead and sleep a bit more, you will be destroyed by it.’
‘When must I go, when can I leave, Karel?’
‘Tomorrow if you wish, as soon as tomorrow.’
‘All right ... then I will go tomorrow.’
I go upstairs.
Anna comes after me and says:
‘I will go with you, Frederik.
I heard everything.
What a riffraff.
That is Hans again, Frederik.
I will not accept that any longer.’
"Do you know what I think, Anna?
You will stay here!
I will come back.
It is okay, everything is okay, Anna.
Just leave them be, I will work it out again.
Children are mischievous creatures.’
‘But I do not want them to insult you, Frederik.’
‘This is ignorance, Anna.
This is our life!
This is necessary, believe me.
If you go with me, everything will be destroyed.
You will stay until I call you.
If I do not call you, then I will come back.
We will surrender it to the guidance.
That is crucial for our life!
Do you know?
You cannot write to me, but I am going, Anna, I will go away again for a short while.
I had not thought that it would happen, but you can see it, I am also only a human being!
Go now, they must not see us, Anna, then they will also make a farm stench of it!
I accept this, because it is for our little René, although I had a great desire to put them over my knee one by one.
I will tell you one more thing: honour your garments, they come straight from the God whom we do not yet know, but by which all these sacred matters came into being.
Do you understand it, Anna?
Good night, my child, I will mar the logbook by writing about the patheticness of the poor human thinking and feeling, the western narrow-mindedness.
It is a pity, a pity, but that is also part of it, otherwise there would be no human drama!’
That night I wrote:
‘What I had never expected, what I had not dreamt of, overcame me like a flaming sword.
It is infernal!
Even Erica is bogged down in it.
Oh, I suffer, I experience the sorrows of Satan!
I am destroyed by it, but what does a dumbstruck Dutch word tell you?
I will do it in English ... ‘I feel damned!!’
Precisely, this is the way it is!
And that as a result of the most precious thing I own!
The sweetest thing I know and lives under my heart, by Erica, Karel and Hans.
But it is a warning to me.
I must really prepare myself in a different way.
I must ensure that they understand me and can follow me.
The coming years must give me that base.
I will work on it, the West still lives in a rustic way, the West does not want to miss those clogs, people prefer such coarse trousers to eastern silk.
I am sick from it.
I feel sent to the stake!
I will get through it, but this will cost me seven ribs.
My blood now flows from my mouth, nose and ears, I have had my knuckles rapped in a dreadful way.
I have no sympathy with myself, nor with them, I cannot scorn them, because I love them.
Oh, my little René, will we see each other again soon?
It is a pit, a destruction, as I have never observed before.
Oh, my God, why did I tell them those things?
What will they think of the Sultan’s harem?
I should never have said a word about it.
I will hear about it, watch out, if they see the chance, my logbook will go.
Karel flatly refuses to stoke any longer, Hans has crept on board like a stowaway and attacked me from the back.
I am involved with bandits.
I do not feel his stab thrusts, he does not even know whether he can reach me.
Yet he stabs wildly at my heart.
Erica stabbed on the mark!
Yes, I am now bleeding from that, my blood is flowing away as a result of this, it flows down the stairs, over the streets from this cursed hole where I live.
Hans has made himself useful.
I have lost my helm.
He took possession of our boat with violence.
By means of arson and false betrayal.
Before we left home, he already betrayed me.
He did not want me!
‘Out of my house, dirty bastard, or I will kick you out!’
I received those words, that hatred from little Hans ... my soul, my brother, my child!
And Karel is also there and believes it.
And Erica puts oil on the fire.
Because it is not yet enough, she puts oil on it!
Because she loves me so much.
She does that to help me?
She claims that it is good for me.
And she acts!
She thinks she acts properly.
I am leaving!
They do not understand that they are chasing me from home and that they will have to come on their bare knees, if they want to see me again.
We are going towards a different and new time, we are now beginning a new life!
Erica, how could you do it?
Do you see these beautiful garments as unclean, muddy whoring?
Do you no longer like this Sultan?
Do you now want to know whether you are being bitten by a cat or a dog?
Did I not warn you?
Did I not tell Hans recently that he still does not know me?
Did I not warn him?
And has Karel forgotten that then?
Did you think that you could wash yourselves, satisfy yourselves, wipe your feet on me any longer?
Do you know how I became so senile, that my goodness knows no limits?
Do you know that I want to give you everything, everything, also my heart?
That I let myself be skinned alive for your lives?
That I possess that love?
That I go towards death for all of you?
That I ... But do you understand this?
Can you feel what true love is?
You have suffocated in my love.
You want to go over my head and then over my dead body, if I approve of it!
However, I will stick a pole for it and a thick one, so that you will go to pieces!
There go my garments.
Into the ash bucket.
‘I receive one guilder forty cents for little René’s satin garment and gave it to a beggar.’
And you have now done well?
You have washed your hands in innocence?
If you got the chance, you would throw the logbook in the stove.
And I, not you, would go on the funeral pyre, because you consider me and the Goddess of Isis, the Sphinx and the Pyramid – which are not there now because everything is nonsense – as self-defiled scandal!
Is it not the case?
But no, it is different!
I know where the sandals pinch.
And you are also right!
Do not put those things on.
Just throw them in your stove and throw rubbish on my head.
I am a self-eater ... I am an old hand, a rat!
I am a four cent cigar!
I am a nasty piece of work!
I am ... yes, what am I not actually?
There go my garments, there go all those sacred things, which were paid for with blood and given, because people love you so much there!
They were paid for with blood, but you do not know that, you cannot know it!
And people sell that for one guilder and forty cents.
Because they have such an understanding of it.
That I am separated from little René is still the worst thing of all.
And you manage that, Karel!
But Karel, pride takes you to ruination!
It is annoying, Karel.
I would like to drown myself, but I cannot.
Not now and never!
I must finish my task.
Even if I now placed my heart on the table, even if I cut it, propped it open in two, my blood ran away before your eyes ... you would not believe it!
You would not believe me, you could not believe me, not accept, because human pride has spoiled you to suffocating point ... you are now going over my dead body and still have sympathy for me!
Oh, my little René!
Oh, my soul and my life, we are being torn from each other!
We must be separated.
Karel reaches for a mighty sword, he hits me right in my heart, because the past has reached growth and blossom in me.
I and little René live in the past, in a previous life he was a child of mine!
Then we built on these laws, we brought there, we thought, happiness and peace, later it appeared to mean destruction.
And we now want to make up for that!
I have already known you for so long, little René, but they still do not know you!
I must leave!
I must leave and I must not think about it!
I am a bastard and I do not want to be a bastard.
If Karel had drunk ten glasses of champagne, everything would be different, but he was so sober, so completely himself, that I must accept him.
Now the betrayal is even worse.
Then Hans came with his dagger and stabbed me in my human back, he unexpectedly went for my throat.
Then I succumbed; even if I stood on my own two feet, I fell to the ground.
I lay there, I coughed up blood, but they did not see it.
They were right!
They did not want to bow their heads.
Oh, Hans, oh, Erica, give me back my little René!
I must leave, and I must not think about it, flows from my pen again which grieves me greatly.
I now know what that crazy Shakespeare wanted, when he wrote a play as a result of which people would change their minds, would learn how they had to experience each other’s love.
But do they understand it?
That is not for us!
We have nothing to do with it!
We know ourselves!
That man did not write for us, his stories about love are for other worlds, cows do not even want it.
Because you, Romeo, and you, Juliet, go to your own grave like King Lear, just like me!
Did Shakespeare know this beforehand?
Did he have to accept his own blows?
I am also starting to feel him, I am also starting to understand him.
I feel that suffering, that love burning in me, now that I will have to lose little René!
My friends want to destroy me and send me to a farm, to reflect behind the pigs what a Sphinx and a Goddess of Isis have to give you.
I must smell the Dutch manure, because that harem smell has spoiled me.
I brought whoring to the West, well, what did I actually not do?
The West does not want any ‘Midsummer night Dream’ ... no ... just keep that yourself.
I am busy releasing myself from our child.
It must be done!
I will have to learn to bow my head, people, yonder, do not want me to be attached to possessions.
I must also become released from this.
I will probably be eternally grateful to them later for this mean trick!
Now that I am writing this down I do not know it myself yet.
I do know that Hammed will continue the development.
I do know that he will continue to follow this child.
I also know that the Sultan will watch out, but these children do not know it and rip us apart!
It is Hans!
He crawled on board without us knowing and appeared in the middle of the sea.
With a knife in his hands.
I was just busy whitewashing the chimney pipe and decorating our house a bit.
From behind a canvas, which I had hung up to let the wind play in my sails, he came at me.
I heard him say: ‘So, rotter, you dirty bastard, now I have got you.
Now you will no longer escape from my hands, I will fell you!’
If Providence had not sent me a small dove, which was curious what was going on, that little animal would not have let any scratching be heard over our heads, which gave Hans a fright – that bird language was so surprising for him – then I would have got the knife in my back.
He came on board with premeditation, hid himself and stabbed ... but did not see that I had already put on those frills yesterday.
He saw a shadow and completely violated himself!
Then I laid mantraps and clamps.
He fell into them and I let him scream.
If he had come to me, if he had honestly and sincerely laid his cards on the table, then I would have dragged him through it and taken care of him like my own child; now it was a fight to the finish.
I knew that Hans would lose it, because I was not conscious of any blame.
I gave myself, as a human being must do that, but he wanted to be wrong and dirty.
You see, Hans, I knew all of that.
And now that I am occupied with you anyway, I will just tell you that I already knew months beforehand that you were looking for wrong things behind my back, in order to finish me off sooner or later.
I knew it!
I was prepared, because your professorship possesses a cursed inclination to fly, to go over the heads of people who want to fulfil their task in a childish way.
I let you on board, but you saw it, Karel burned you up!
He threw you into the ovens.
You must attribute the fact that you had the fortune to find a piece of driftwood and to cling to it to a God who loves and does not interfere in human affairs.
Or, you would have drowned!
However, you have got your way now.
You can make and break what you want, I will leave this house, now you can contaminate Karel and Erica as much as you want, I will get them back anyway, if it is not here, then yonder, on the other side!
I must conquer myself.
My boy, what a beast Karel is.
Karel thinks he can get me.
He cuts me through the middle.
Did you see me when I went upwards a moment ago and had to remove myself from their lives!
I was ready in five minutes.
I became really senile ... I cannot say anymore against so much violence, the people will immediately be proved right from me!
I can no longer say a word now, I feel so beaten!
If I could see you later, little René, it is possible that I will not know you.
Then our lives will pass each other as if there is nothing the matter.
However, if you come and look inside me, oh, little René, can you feel my sorrow?
If I want to cure them once and for all from their crazy antics, then I will walk past you with my head held high.
I would even be capable of greeting you like an old acquaintance and oact dumb and I possess neither heart nor eyes, but stand blind before you.
And can you feel my little heart, little René?
Karel and Erica do not see and feel that.
They think: there goes that fool.
There goes that piece of destruction, who contaminated our child.
That is me, René!
Me, your dear father!
Their dear father too, who now goes through the streetgutters.
You must not give the people gifts, you must let them starve, you will then know that you will never get to accept the unequal fight.
Just let them go to hell, they can drop dead, if they insist to feed the devil, you can no longer stop them anyway.
Only because they think, and saw if need be that you are suffering from typhus!
I could mention the name of this racing horse, but you will always lose, because they put their money on the other one.
And they cannot take losing!
So, little René, I am going out on the street.
I have to go, I am a bastard!
However, we will go to our Mohammed and our Sultan later.
Then my time will come!
Then I will involve them and say:
‘Do you see now what I wanted?
Do you see now that that friend of mine is there?
Do you see now that he has a harem and owns sixteen women?
But you thought of real women, you thought of whores, didn’t you?
I did not want to tell you that, because I wanted to see whether you could accept me in everything.
I did not tell you the truth, I did not do it because you said that you loved me and I saw that I would sooner or later be faced with the axe.
You wanted to leave me like that, didn’t you, I wanted to leave you like that as well.
However, those whores are initiated high priestesses, that Sultan is a high priest and his harem is a school for adepts, where you can obtain a higher conscious in a few years time.
I lay there waiting on a mat for the word.
It was he who sent me to Jerusalem in order to receive Golgotha’s answer.
I now know, little mites, why the Apostles of Our Lord, of Christ, fell asleep!
I received that there in the East.
And you think that I brought you the clothing of whores.
You think that I threw myself away there, let myself be raped.
I must confess something to you, which I really wanted to keep quiet about.
Something, which I have nothing to do with and which happened in a dedicated sleep.
No, my life refuses to tell you!
You must now just wait until you can see my life film and the God of all life says:
‘I vouch for what you see here!’
And then you will see me and you will have to, you will accept everything, or you will plunge into a dungeon with your own lies and your deception, which you will not come out of for centuries.
Those priestesses sung to me.
The Sultan created Divine joy of life by means of his hammer ... he hit for a moment and then listened to the human heart beat.
He created joy of life, willingness to make sacrifices.
We did not want anything to do with pride and boasting.
I truly lay at too tender feet which did not kick me.
I went hand in hand through this Temple, we entered the ruins of Luxor and Ra, Ré, Isis, we went through deserts, completely naked, and still had God in us, God with us, He showed us the way.
And then I had a fainting fit, or call it an illness, but the Sultan applied an occult treatment; he magnetized me, felt me, made magnetizing stroking movements, penetrated to the moment when we experience the embryonic origin and which we received from Him, so that we would accept His suffering, His sorrow, if we were ever to forget ourselves.
I had got an inflammation as a result of the food ... because this school placed starving before me, because food and drink smothers the universal development and the becoming conscious for it!
I had therefore first let myself die, however, then Sjowhoea could begin, but Mohammed also stood within and behind me.
I could have helped myself, he says, but my western emotional life flatly refuses.
Then he descended into my body and cured me.
I owe him so much!
Do you believe it, little René?
Yes, you do, but Erica, Hans and Karel feel contaminated by me.
You see, now you actually also know everything, but make of it what you want to make of it.
This is not only the sacred truth, but also the Divine!
And that is his little film and mine!
We, loved ones, went naked through the desert.
We swam naked, lay down naked at the feet of our master and still had garments on, so radiant in colour and creation that, compared to that, the human tissue is like putty, while ours came straight from heaven.
I lay naked next to an Egyptian princess, next to the very first Goddess of the Temple, next to an Indonesian beauty, whom you would die for on the spot!
I lay next to and in a circle gathered around Deities, who caressed and kissed me, kisses the depth of which you do not know, because your nakedness has not yet made it!
We saw nothing, because we lived!
You see everything, but remain living dead!
Do you believe it, little René?
I hear you calling me, but I am not allowed to come to you.
I hear you saying this evening: ‘Good day, dear Father’, but I may not even listen to your voice or I will fall to the ground and will bleed empty again.
How will I do my work then?
How will I continue to watch over you?
Little René, do not call me again.
Let that ‘dear Father’ subside, you can kill it, but do not kill me!
I may not come to you, then Erica and Karel would kill me.
And because I know their masks, I can pick up their thoughts, they think that I have become a contaminated bird instinct, and they do not believe in my life anyway, I may not do it.
I can only come to you when they have reinstated all those rotten clothes for me and you.
By means of the blood of their lives this fabric can be washed clean, René, or their dirty slime will not go out of it.
They have to accept this, because God does not let Himself be mocked, or His children, who mean well.
With their blood they will have to clean my life or I will not come again!
I say farewell for this life then!
I leave it to Mohammed.
He must know what must be done and how it should be done with regard to your character, your independence of centuries ago.
Prince of the Universe, we stink of mud, but only according to their smell and taste organs and not according to ours.
They see our contamination from their own stench, their blind life experience, which they bought for a few mere cents.
I truly lay kneeled at the feet of my master.
Next to me about forty men and women, who had to learn their lessons like me .
Sixteen men and beautiful women belonged to the first ones, were the first ones to grasp the universe, and I was among them!
I tell you honestly, if Anna had not been there, if she had lived so far away that she would not have been able to catch up with me in centuries, I would have accepted not one, but a thousand sins, the love which I experienced there and which lived around me was so awe-inspiring.
I sat on the knee of that crazy love!
We shared out the fruits.
We went, I already said, hand in hand through the desert, the moon blood-red above our heads, walking and floating, for hours on end, until the morning, but we were home before the sun began its task, to give this rotten world its life force.
Naked, completely naked, but decorated with a tulle, through which spiritualists materialise, spirits are shown, you are connected with your father and mother, so that you will know that there is no death.
However, meanwhile, they rake in your money, and go, as Karel and Erica now do, over dead bodies!
We then took a desert bath, all of us in one tub, and soon fell asleep.
Then the master came to heal us.
He looked to see whether there were faults in our organic systems.
When he saw me, he said:
‘You are sleeping, aren’t you, Frederik?’
‘Yes’, I said, ‘and deeply too.’
‘But you can hear me, can’t you, Frederik?’
‘Yes, master, I can hear you!’
‘You can certainly hear me, can’t you, Frederik?
You know that it is I?’
‘I can see you and I can hear you, my master.’
‘Can you not feel anything, Frederik?’
‘Yes, master, I can feel something, but what can I do about it?’
‘Do you wish to experience happy being one, Frederik?’
‘No, my master, because I am not understood yet, I would just hurt the other life.’
‘That is correct, Frederik.
I will help you.
Will you do it yourself?’
‘Not for all the money in the world!’
‘Do you know what I see, Frederik?’
‘I can see into your eyes, master.’
‘Watch out then, you will sleep and follow me.
Can you see what is necessary?’
‘I can see it.’
‘Can you still hear me, Frederik?’
‘Very far away, it is becoming weaker, I can no longer hear your voice.’
‘And yet I stand in your life and I have started your healing.
But you will sleep, or you would not be able to move a step again.
These are also occult sanctities!
I am watching, let this be enough for you!’
Karel, Erica, Hans, if I was to tell you everything about my life, believe me, you would never grant me another footstep.
But Isis demands that of our life, the Goddess also takes her toll, the full hundred percent.
And when I speak about the Sphinx I am already mad!
Now the Pyramid too.
Oh, little René, will you help me soon?
I may not come to you after all.
Karel and Erica will not have it, they see me as your evil genius.
Will you not call me again?
Will I deny you that ‘dear father’, so that you can forget me for years?
It is a gift for your life.
Also for mine, we will awaken by means of suffering and sorrow!
It is a sacred school!
May thy will be done!
I surrender completely to it!
I will obey, everything is good in the way it comes to me!
I now call out everything very loudly to these people, it rains exclamation marks!
But that must happen!
Or they also will learn nothing.
But it hurts me so much, little René, oh, it is dreadful.
Karel thought he could destroy me by means of this.
He put the knife into my heart by means of this, but you see it, little René, I can cope with it!
Away are my gifts.
Everything gone instantly!
Did you know this, Frederik?
Yes, you did, didn’t you?
But you did not believe it.
Think of the hour for a moment, when you came back.
Do not go so far back or you will pass by huge parts of misery.
You will lose your happiness so quickly.
You cannot get rid of misery, it is like a rotten illness, like cholera ...
That suddenly flies out the door and out of your heart, because you do not understand that nakedness, put on that mask yourself and sell a golden ball as utterly worthless.
You get one guilder and forty cents for it.
You now give yourself, you think you can share out gifts, but you have not yet earned those gifts.
You are haggling, you do everything to swindle another life, you disrobe the people and steal from them, sell and betray them, because you are possessed by a devil and know nothing more about human goodness.
You really dance on the dead body of your sister and brother and put the demonic poison in their throats!
It is that and not any other way!
Karel, Erica, can you hear it?
Must you not possess such a bracelet, such a garment, such a ticker, on which the Sultan has put his name?
Yes, but not by means of poverty, not by means of satanic loose talk, not by means of finishing off and destroying the inspiring word of the Goddess in order to make a pedestal of it for yourself.
Karel, Erica, Hans, what do you hope to achieve without me?
Oh, little René!
I have now paid my dues.
The Sultan and Mohammed healed me in sleep, I can now go without food and drink, because I have learned to free myself from the material systems.
I experienced a development there, of which people thought that I would not withstand it.
Yet I made it through.
I got off with some desert fleas, but they did not suck all the blood from my veins, there still remained enough for myself.
There go the gifts.
Should I have told them the truth?
Did they not see that I also know a real sultan?
Did they not see my photograph?
Did they not see that this was Mohammed?
We arrived precisely together there.
But did these sobersides understand me?
I had then upset things.
No, it is fine like this, because they would not have been able to bear this misery, I must see it as my reserve ...!
As the grams of feeling in order to be able to take care of them.
Karel thought: he has folded.
They laughed, but they did not understand their own laughter.
Erica thought: he let himself be bathed there.
Yes, I did, but other than you think!
I was bathed, I went through blood and tears to an awakening which your mind cannot grasp.
But I am going.
‘Good morning, farmer Wolff!’
‘Good morning, Mr Frederik.
How are the chickens, the pigs doing on the market?
Are the cows expensive?
Are the sheep expensive?
But where must I sleep, father Wolff?
Amongst the pigs?
In the hay?’
I enjoy it, I can already talk in dialect too.
I go even further.
But, woe betide them.
If they read this later?
You see, Frederik, that you may not let these people read any of the logbook?
They would just make a fire of it.
Good heavens, I must see that I leave, my manuscripts must go out the door!
Soon Karel might come and demand them.
He will soon say: it is not possible!
Those are common lies.
Those things never happened.
I do not lend myself to that, you have told nonsense to the people.
Here with those manuscripts, or you will not leave my house.
I assure you, my child, that he will rip them up.
Oh, but little René, then all this work and all your suffering and misery would have been experienced for nothing.
However, I will watch out for that.
Just let him come?
I am capable of strangling him!
You do not believe it, do you, little René?
I thought so too; if I say such a thing, then that is my mark, my halt!
There is no more to it and it will not come either, I will not violate people!
I will consider myself.
Karel and Hans have burnt the snakes.
The golden cigarette cases with the emeralds are in the stove.
They see the fountain pens of gold as a contagious disease, which went into the ash bucket in pieces.
They do not write with demonic ink, they feel contaminated by it.
I can see the feathers which they wish to put on my crown, but I also do not begrudge them anything.
Why would I walk around with it alone?
Did you see that glass of wine, Karel?
Did you see those two bottles of whisky, which you drunk completely one evening with Hans?
Or did you think that I had no eyes from afar.
I am behind you and you do not see me.
You was that far that people gave you vinegar to drink ...
You drunk it, you did not even spit it out, you had completely messed up your taste.
But did you see the fun Hans had?
And you fall for it?
You now want me to say that I got sultan airs yonder?
For shame, for shame.
Oh, little René ... do you believe your father and not old Frederik?
When I once took part, had some of their delicacies, I was, as I had to accept, a drunken sod!
What am I saying?
Good heavens, Karel, what were you talking about?
Hans has to leave, at least for the moment, he has poisoned you!
Not I, it is Hans.
And of course, your farming background.
I will go to your pigs, but I swear to you that you will miss me!
Now just go to Bertje Poop, to Gerrit Scandal, to all those friends of little René.
I will still collect him again later and then we will be together for years again.
No, I will never go away alone again, Erica.
I will never leave you alone, never!
But when you made me assure you of that, I also thought: as long as you yourself do not throw me out the door.
And that has now come true!
If I did not love you, I would never come back to your life again, but because I possess love, we will carry on.
Can you believe this, the holy truth?
Oh, little René... or you will have to prove it to them.
I may never hand them over the logbook.
What they could do today, would approve of, they take away from me again tomorrow.
And then I am faced with an immeasurable chaos.
Until my death I must keep their words and deeds.
They are not hypocrites, not bad people, they do not know better.
I can now solemnly imagine that Christ once said: ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’
I do not go and stand behind the Christ, but it is the case!
Do not hand over any logbook or it will end up in the stove.
Erica said, after all, that as far as she was concerned, I was allowed to say everything?
Her few ounces of feeling have been used up.
She has no more to give for humanity.
Now that they smell the sickly sweet smell of the snakes, the desert snakes, which are much meaner than the wood and water types, they all run away.
I stand here alone with little René, but there are still two souls and they know where we will go.
They know the way through our desert.
They have heard bears, but there were no bears to be seen.
They heard jackals, but it was their own inner growling, their fear.
They lay down, beaten by the plague and cholera, but those were fabrications, it was showing off!
Now we are involved with snakes and brown bears, now we are faced with a small lion’s den and they must admit what they want or whether they can and know how to accept suffering and sorrow, know how to appreciate them, because this must bring your head down!
I believe that I have made it, on the farm I will tell about the other thing, I will also record that for their lives.
I know it, little René, I do not forget anything!
When everyone was asleep, I was sure that they could not hear me, little René sent me my name softly and gargling, just as the Sphinx had taught me and the Goddess also said that was possible if you can think of the fellow human being in love, I crawled on my hands and feet to our child.
When I lay against his little bed, pressed my nose against his little nose, the boy said to me:
‘You are sorrowful, aren’t you, Uncle Frederik, but I am still here!
They may not hear us.
So, now just go away again, Uncle Frederik, I will come to you.’
I went back to my bed, lay down as a yogi does and a moment later I already heard:
‘Are you there, Uncle Frederik?
I am really crazy again, amn’t I?
But do not pay any attention to any of it, I am playing with myself a bit.
You do not need to whisper anymore, you can now shout as loud as you like, no one can hear you.
Only Anna is capable of it, but I told her that she must now go to sleep.
What are you doing, Uncle Frederik?’
‘I have kept the logbook up to date.’
‘Has this mother of mine sold my garment?’
‘And given me her own lice without thinking?’
‘And did she think that I did not know it?’
‘And does she think that I am mad?’
‘Yes, little René!’
‘When are you leaving, Uncle Frederik?’
‘Tomorrow, little René.’
‘Good, then we will go together.
I will also go.
Would you like that, Uncle Frederik?’
‘You know that, don’t you, dear?’
‘Of course I know it.
I am so grateful to you, old one.
But you promise me that we will go to the Sultan, don’t you?’
‘We will, you can depend upon it, René.’
‘Then everything is fine.
I will hide my colouring pencils myself.
I am going, I will just call Anna.
She must keep a few things for us.
She must remain here and watch out.
Do you know it?
Do you know who I am?
Did you think, Uncle Frederik, that it was René?
It is me, Mohammed, I come through this life to you!’
‘Go to sleep, rest, go away for a while.
If you see my star, come back here to me.
I greet you, you will never be alone again.
I went to sleep.
In the morning Karel comes to me.
‘When are you going, Frederik?’
‘I think that René is a bit better.
He can wait a while, or I would say we will take him with us.’
Just do as you please.’
‘I will expect you in an hour.
Make sure that you are ready.’
‘Yes, Karel, I am ready.’
Within ten minutes Karel already heard that he would have to change his plans.
René let rip like a devil.
An hour and a half later we drove along the Dutch meadows with cows in them, in the direction of: educational and mental institution ‘You-Will-Never-Get-Out-Of-Here’!
We can do nothing for you, even if we try everything.
We do not know ourselves.
One or two people can have a lucky escape, the rest remain living dead!
Does the life not know that?
It is a mask!
The masks will explain it to you, you only need to bow your head to it, no more.
However, that is apparently not so simple, because you do not even know yourself.
What still possessed beauty for a few hours, goes straight to the human manure heap and is no longer looked at!
Karel and Erica, for example!
Also that naughty Hans, he drags these, my children into another misery, which they now create for themselves.
I cannot do anything about it now, they wanted it themselves!
I look at our beautiful livestock, not little René, the child is sleeping.
That poor boy.
But this conscious costs you blood!
The people learn, (it) cost you yourself, you go on their funeral pyre.
Karel does not give me a word, he is thinking.
He is searching for something and does not know where he must start.
I can feel it, he is already sorry about it, but I want to see whether they want to start natural thinking, otherwise we will never make it!
He still feels great, but he is standing on a pedestal and he himself does not see that.
He thought he could give me supernatural wisdom.
I could prove to him that the remorse is not excluded, because I keep showing them my sacred self.
We drop little René off, dr. Lent receives us.
However, Karel has no more time, he already clears off.
A pity, Karel, that is not necessary either, you could have treated this man, who does everything for your life, a bit more friendly.
It is wrong, you are wrong, you are making a mess of things.
The boy also says, as if to prove that he is big and strong and follows me, all of us:
‘Goodbye, Uncle Frederik!
I will do my best. Will you wait?
I will get them!’
The male nurse takes him over from me.
He kisses the boy.
It is just as if he is his own flesh and blood.
I am grateful to this life for this and will remember it.
The Goddess gives those lives sweets, for the own life and that of their loved ones.
I do not forget those things!
I would now have to leave to go to his father, but I also talk for a moment to doctor Lent.
The man looks terrible.
‘How are you, doctor?
Are you tired out?’
‘I am dead tired.
I must still thank you for your warning.
We have fired the man, we do not tolerate violence.
If you ever hear anything?’
‘How are things here, doctor?’
‘Very well ... but I must get away for a while.’
‘Are you getting leave?’
‘Three months, I think.’
‘Then I would like to ask you a few questions, doctor.
Do you believe, doctor Lent, that the moon has predicted the coming of the Pyramid?’
‘Do you also believe that the Goddess of Isis possesses power?’
‘I believe in it, I have read a lot about it.
It is just as true as we have to accept that the evil of this world nailed the Christ to the cross and as a result of this destroyed the light.’
‘Then I have one more question, doctor.
Do you believe that supernatural laws can protect the human being?’
‘Most certainly, what would become of us if this was not the case?!’
‘Precisely, doctor Lent, this is the way it is.
You can be reached then and it is not casting pearls before swine.
Look at a piece of paper here.
There are figures on it, you can see them as hieroglyphics, which you can convert into pure currency.
A small present from the Goddess, you must get away for a while.
You need rest and your soul screams for this Mother!
Your prayers have been answered!
You can count yourself lucky that you are true, possess love, so that you will go further.
Give the Sphinx best wishes from me and little René!
Give our best wishes to the ruins of Luxor, Ra, Ré and Isis!
Give our best wishes to the Pyramid!
Go and lie there for less than an hour and think a bit about us!
Buy some beautiful garments, I will need them soon to bring some souls back into the eastern harness and to assure their footsteps.
Buy a blue, a green, a light sea-green garment, a reddish pink one with hints of violet, as the sunset can also be seen there.
Buy two golden cigarette cases, one with an opal and one with a red bloodstone on it and two golden fountain pens.
Do not forget to buy matching sandals for the garments, people will make them there for you.
They are always to size.
But first go to Alexandria and visit this address.
You will meet Mohammed Réche there, a friend of mine and an accomplished priest.
He will receive you.
I will give you my recommendation to take and nothing will keep you back there.
Do not climb any Pyramid with ladders, doctor Lent, but dig yourself in, do not spare yourself to experience a desert night, do not be afraid ... I will follow you.
Think of us, of little René and of me, and of your sick children.
But have a rest, do not forget that no one understands you.
Only tell your loved ones where you are going, you cannot trust anyone else with these sacred matters, or they will declare you possessed.
If your wife wants to go with you, well, that is up to you.
However, if she should possess the supernatural feeling to allow you that, which you will soon transfer to her soul and life, all the better.
You can then tune in completely to the Goddess and will not need to divide your attention.
I will take care of the mat!’
‘But that is not possible, is it?’
‘Go as soon as possible.
True love, doctor, is always rewarded.
I am the person to give it to you in her name and in the name of the God of our life.
You will bring me the garments.
Here is my address.
When you come back I hope to see you.’
‘Not a word more, doctor, all of us long to return home!
All the best, my friend, money has no meaning for those worlds.
In addition to that, it is your own possession.
It used to belong to you; there were people who kept it for you!’
‘Nothing, doctor of little René, people will tell you there who our child is!
And you will probably open the eyes of his parents.
I live too close to their hearts.
I repeat, at the end of this path we will see each other again!’
By half past six I arrived at Karel’s parents.
I found his second mother, whom he did not like, very sweet.
Father Wolff is practical and open.
Their ancestors were Germans, but they are real Dutch farmers.
I got a very nice room in the hay loft.
However, I could have chosen another room.
This seemed the best to me: I was nice alone there.
Then my study started to become a good farmer.
I started to understand pigs and chickens, slaughtered and smoked cattle, sausage and kale cabbage with bacon.
After a few days I was already best friends with the farmhands and the maids.
I ploughed and sowed, I did my best; the doctor whose house I was in, wanted it like that.
And I was not mistaken, I learned to think like a farmer and sniffed up the extraordinary smell into me, in order to get the desired normal base for my soul.
However, I did it for others, I would add, because I know what I am doing and where I am going, even in my sleep!
Week after week passes by.
The months fly past.
One fine day Erica is standing before me and is weeping.
‘But what have we done, Frederik?
Was that me myself?
Doctor Lent has been to us, he told us about his trip.
Hans and Karel got a beating like they have never had before.
And I am deeply ashamed.
Tell me, Frederik, what must I do, or I will kill myself.
I now want to prove to you that I will die for you.
Can I still make up for that, Frederik?
How we have sullied you.
Oh, my God, what devils we are.
Frederik, will you go with me to little René?
Will we go together to little René?
Oh, Frederik, just knock me to the ground.
Why are you not saying anything?
Just hit out!
Frederik, break me, forgive me for everything, I have been so stupid, so pathetic.
Karel dares not look you in the face.
Hans is destroyed by it.
Again, he says, we are forced by a demonic power to serve his life.
We can never make this up again.
Hans can no longer work.
Karel does not know anymore what he must or must not do.
When Anna serves him, he chokes in the food.
Anna is a rock.
If she was not there, Frederik, there would be victims.
I believe that we would thrash ourselves.
But say something.
Just grant me one word, Frederik.
Do it for little René!
Do it for little René!
I beg you.
I call to you: do it for little René, give his poor mother a word.
Doctor Lent has told us everything.
‘My God’, he sighed, ‘what have you started.
How can it be, have you lost your senses then?
You have put such a noble character amongst the farmers?
Do you want to teach him something?
Must he, who was received yonder with open arms, learn what a pig is?
Are you not ashamed?
Is this understanding love?
Go and crawl to him.’
Frederik, you should have heard him.
Oh, but my Frederik, can this not be made up?’
I let her go!
I did not say a word!
I thought: I am falling for it again.
I want to see what they make of it themselves.
She came precisely on a day that we were going to baptize a child.
I had brought the father of this child, who will receive my name, to another path.
I told him that more flesh and blood lives in a human form on earth than the one for whom he mourned.
Then he looked into other eyes and received his happiness as a human being.
We are going to baptize the child today.
I have no more time, Erica, my tasks here engages me completely.
Greetings to your consort, also to the prof ...
I will not come home for the time being, I must look after my lungs.
However, I think that I will get over this ailment!
Go and do not say another word to me, if you do not want to lose your life, Mrs Wolff!
And there she went.
But that must be!
They will not get me for the time being.
It will work out fine, but I myself will work it out, I am old and wise enough!
Then doctor Lent came.
He brought me all those beautiful garments.
I put those sacred things away safely and waited.
We talked for a long time and he was a different person again.
He will write a book about the subject: ‘How do I learn to bow my Head’ or ‘Human Stupidity’!
Other people likewise write about it, but I do not know their titles.
All of them talk about one subject, but people do not even consider it.
Lent describes how he became a child in a short time!
How he started to believe in supernatural powers and forces.
He had to wait three weeks on the mat, then he got to hear that noise, as a result of which he dethroned Karel, Hans and Erica!
Then Karel came.
He brought me to René.
However, the boy was seriously ill, so that it was no use to us.
Three weeks later he went again, now René was better and I could talk to the child in a wonderful way.
The doctor was extremely satisfied.
It is going the right way, he said, you will see, Frederik.
It is obvious that we have become friends.
However, I also let Karel go home beaten.
I let him know that I had nothing against him, but the Apostles of Christ did not have that either: they also had to accept this long waiting, these pains.
Judas committed suicide as a result of it, Peter let rip like a broken spirit and went crazy from sorrow, because he knew that he had succumbed for Christ.
Karel must feel some of that remorse, I will now put an end to it for good, it is all for their own best.
I am not for sale.
Feelings die for me, woe betide those who let them die off.
I will continue to love them, but they have lost me for this life.
Whether there is another life?
We know that now, but we do not yet know the laws.
But that will also come!
Six months later Karel suddenly stood before me with little René.
The child emphatically wanted to go to me.
It asked for me day and night.
According to Lent that can also work in a healing way, and that is true.
Dear Lent, you know the laws.
You will make it far, you will surpass Hans.
René stayed for a week with me.
Then we took him back and he remained calm.
What were we like together!
Erica also came and wept again until her tears ran dry.
‘You see, Mother, you do not believe in invisible truth.
But this beats you.
This one asks you where you want to go.’
I thought: look, if the laws touch his life, he begins to use the polite forms of address, otherwise it is the informal forms towards his mother.
Erica now gets her first beating from her fool.
She stood looking as if she had been hit by lightning.
Karel also got a beating.
He asked politely when we thought we would go back.
René let him know that he himself knew, when doctor Lent would call him, then he would go immediately.
René is sitting outside with me and is making sketches.
This young life, which is busy awakening, is growing towards the evolution process for the own soul and the spirit.
He is doing miraculously well, I established, we may be satisfied.
When he comes home soon, we can begin his study.
First to a master.
I must give him mine, but then, probably in a few years’ time, he will sleep and give me his wisdom.
Frederik, can you now see behind this mask?
It will soon fall!
Erica and Karel had to accept how good their son meant it and also knew it for himself.
When Hans and Karel came to visit us both, René claimed that it was meant to be like that, because Mohammed had to go to the mountain and not the mountain to Mohammed.
Karel did not know what was going on, but he swallowed it.
I pretended I was mad, but they knew better.
I had shamed them to their deepest being.
When I saw that I must not go too far and I would just kill these hearts, I stopped.
And what was the end of this trip?
Karel, who did not come home because of his second mother, and could murder his father when he got married again, conceived a love for his new mother, which he had not given his first one.
Father Wolff says to me:
‘Frederik, I thank Providence and your Goddess that they sent you here, because I have Karel back!’
Karel was really crazy about the wife of his father.
I had never see him like that before.
This was real, he meant it, he was sure of his love.
They are like two people in love, he gives her so much good, which considered superficially, has nothing to do with him anyway.
Wolff remained in the clouds, his wonderful company grew as a result of it and the chickens and the pigs shot up.
When these years were almost over, we had created one family, one big family and more people kept joining.
I had meanwhile taken care of the logbook.
I now believe that I can trust them with it, but there are devils and there will remain devils, so long as human masks live in our midst.
I therefore did not do it.
Then the time came that we were allowed to take René home.
Karel and Erica, Hans, father and mother Wolff, we all left in order to give the child the place which it deserves.
René is extraordinarily good.
He himself let me know:
‘Uncle Frederik, I am better!
The Goddess has told me.
You see, all your talk was not in vain.
I am very grateful to you in everything and for everything.
I ask you again, will you help me?’
‘I will help you, René, but why are you so far away from me?’
‘I do not know what it is, Frederik.
When I stand before you and it wants to start speaking inside me, what mother calls her intimate conversations, you say it yourself, a strength enters me which forces me to that language.
I did not learn it there.
But you know, I am ready, I will do my best, I will study."
That is our René!
Dr. Lent could almost not say goodbye to him.
He did not believe it himself.
I had told Lent how he must talk to the boy.
Lent told him everything about my life, Lent himself took the general development of René upon himself, so that Karel and Erica said that René had received another father.
He is calm, can control himself, he has awakened.
He can read and write, and nothing else.
But that other is not necessary either.
We must now prove that the East is right or that it is talking nonsense.
However, I have seen and been able to accept that his life manifested itself infallibly.
I have been proved right again, René has got better, in a few months he will be seventeen years old.
I felt at that time that it would take so long before he would be better.
Now the time has come.
In the logbook it says: I do not want to hear another word from Karel, Erica and Hans about their falling, their forgetfulness, because I have given them my very best love.
I had nothing else to give, but they have succumbed badly.
The heads are bowed and that is really my greatest happiness.
If I had had to lose them, which I could not believe in, that would have been the worst blow of my life.
These masks fell, they had to provide themselves with another garment.
The God of all life demands that of our human personality.
And we people will experience joy and happiness as a result of it: one day we must bow our heads anyway, you can do it better now!
Much happiness remained, Karel, Hans and Erica have become different people.
I will keep the garments and the cigarette cases within my reach for a while, perhaps later, I want to see first how they take their first footsteps for the new life, I want to know whether their better self will keep the upper hand.
Or we will be faced with misery again and I do not want that again now.
I know one thing: they are doing everything possible to make good.
Our big and strong Hans does not know anymore.
He is exactly like a child.
However, his dreadful temper, his university character, which closes his eyes stiffly and obstinately to supernatural matters, will make him eat humble pie again, which will cost him his spiritual teeth.
As long as that will not be a fall!
I am curious whether this character will ever develop, that we will see it in the true light and love it.
I also believe that they are now capable of making a desert trip.
But we need a very good guide for this purpose!
If I may be it, then I know enough.
Now that they are thinking about accepting the ‘nakedness’, comes the listening of that old voice to their lives; I do not believe that they will still laugh at me now.
Freckle-face, Bramble Poop, Gerrit Scandal, Bertje Hungry and the many others said goodbye to René.
He said to the boys:
‘I am now going, but I will come back again.
I have become a different person.
I thank you for your help.
I will not leave you alone, God preserve me.
You will have your bike.
Everyone a bike!
You know that, don’t you?’
The boys throw their arms around his neck, they are the conscious ones amongst all these living dead souls.
Then our René stands before his doctor and now says, as I taught him:
‘Doctor, how can I thank you.
I have become a different person. I thank you for all your trouble.
I know, if I was really very sick, you were behind my bed, day and night.
Sometimes the Goddess spoke, didn’t she?
When I was put in the dungeon, I was not alone.
Your old bike has to go, I will buy a new one for you.’
René looks at me and the doctor knows the score.
He also says:
‘Just give the old one to the boys!’
And then he sees his nurse: ‘Goodbye, Willem, you will get your piece of ground from me.
Willem, do you have to cry now?’
He divided out his presents like a sovereign.
An initiated awakened!
Rachi-Hadju reveals himself.
Father and mother stand there watching as if they are experiencing a wonder.
And it does look a bit like it, even if I force myself to remain standing with both feet on the passable ground, we still float upwards a bit too high.
However, we will manage that, today everything is allowed!
I also have a nice stocking from which you can pull out everything and Hans gave him a substantial sum, with which he can buy ten houses.
Only just to make good for himself.
Then we say goodbye to the House ‘You-Will-Never-Leave-Here-Again’, which must soon be changed, because now the Goddess of Isis is behind it as patron and lives in it.
All the things hypnosis is capable of!
All the things an imposed sleep can conjure up.
However, we have not yet made it!
The Goddess said: ‘If you can bow your heads, I am also there as well!’
And this is the way it is!
Today it is party time.
Anna walks round in silk, I also gave Erica a garment anyway.
Karel and Hans ran out into the street, when I placed the new cigarette cases in their learned hands.
These fountain pens have now received value, they will only write very beautiful poems and Hans sends them to Our Lord, which he believes in for a small trivial amount, believes that there is still a bit of guidance in everything and it exists, if you just lose your own material mask.
He told me:
‘I want to lose this mask, Frederik!
Do you believe that?’
And Karel said:
‘I will start behind the pigs.
Father says: you were born there, but you forgot that city chimney pipes must be built.’
Just listen to that old thing, he also says, did you do that, Frederik?
I did not know that my father could write poetry!
We sit at the table and eat and drink.
The candles are also there.
We live in the year nineteen hundred and something, the seventh of April ... spring is on its way.
Birds are already singing ...
The people here are happy, they all wear silk, the men too.
René is our hero.
When you hear him talking, you do not believe it.
This born talent is now also awakening.
I now believe that the human being is on earth more than once, although I still do not have the proof for it.
We will go further!
Hans stands up and wants to say something, I am tense:
‘My Erica, my Karel, Father and Mother, René, my Frederik.
I want to say something, but now I cannot do it.
I am too full of gratitude and happiness.
How can I thank you, Karel, Erica, Frederik, for everything given to my life.
I have not been worth it and am still not, but want to earn it.
May God give me the strength for it.
I believe that all of us may say: Frederik, it was you, you were the soul for our lives.
Should I be rebellious again, just break me!
Do not spare me!
One thing stands above everything, above every learning ...
That is the friendship and the unselfish love, which you have given us, Frederik.
I have bowed; I want to give my life for all of you and for my patients.
I hope to be able to lay the mercy, achieved for it, Frederik, in your hands at the end of my life.
I will do my best!’
Karel said to this, that he like Hans has learnt to see that the state of clarity of my life can move mountains.
His mask will lie at my feet and I may tramp on it.
Just hit me, asks Karel, just hit me, Frederik, I want to become a different person!
Erica wept and wounded her open heart.
René suddenly said:
‘If there is joy in your hearts, why do you still despair?’
Erica dashes to her offspring and almost crushes him to death from happiness.
You see, I thought, there you already have Mohammed!
Do you believe in fairytales?
Do you believe in eastern stories, which you are dished up in the winter by the stove?
Here they are already!
All in all a wonderful day.
Erica sighs: What a day!
Anna says: What a day!
Karel says: I cannot get enough of it!
Hans assures us that he is almost suffocating from it.
And Karel’s parents have become number one.
That second mother of his.
Because love radiates from your life, says Karel to her, I want to be born again by both of you.
Have we perhaps been involved with each other here and there?
You see, Karel is starting to interpret supernatural matters.
Awakening had come to his life, which his second mother is to blame for.
We are going to do eastern ways!
But we go through the western emotional life and conscious to a crossroads ... there, where Abraham got the mustard and where you can hear why the Apostles fell asleep.
You are faced with the cock from Jerusalem and think each moment that the animal will crow, which you want to prevent happening!
Was that animal addressing me?
No, not you, I believe, your mask!
Throw your cursed prehistoric garment away, finally become a human being, as He will want it.
Faith remains faith, a prayer remains a prayer everywhere, whether you send it up in Spanish or in Hebrew, in Moroccan, Russian, French, English or German, Italian or Malaysian.
The God of life always understands us!
Love everything which lives, I still said, and the sweat of your face is no longer a punishment, but every drop is a jewel for your human crown, which is put on your still oh so beautiful human head by the Star from the East, your own ‘little Castle’, as a result of which you are eternally pleased and happy, can be happy with!
Amen ... I added, but that was all in our logbook.
We will travel further ...!
At all costs I still had to say something, before my children would go to bed.
I then finally said to them:
‘Imagine, children, all of us are actors
The audience listens to us, there are two thousand and forty-four people who follow our play ‘Masks and Man’.
It is dark in the hall, we are on the stage of the world.
I am talking and say: You see, my friends, my sisters and brothers, our good earth brings us this: great happiness!
We people must begin with laying the foundations in our own circle and family for a better and calmer existance.
If we can do that, we may go further!
Long live the Queen ... long live the Goddess of Isis ...
Worlds only have meaning then, if we people know how to appreciate them!
Take yourself to Golgotha!
Beg there for strength, power and happiness!
Do not think and never think that you can do it yourself, know now for always that this short life will pass.
Are we ready to receive another?
Or do you not believe in this nonsense?
Then I will take you to the next scene, which explains the masks!
Tear off your own mask!
Do it now, in five minutes you will be faced with your coffin!
And then you would want it, but then it is no longer necessary.
There are other laws yonder.
And they decide upon the fate of your soul, give it eternal truth!
See you soon, my loved ones, I am going to bed!’
I lie in bed and think about everything.
I do not have anything to complain about, it was a wonderful day.
There is a knock at my door, I hear:
‘Frederik, will you now listen to my knocking?
May I come in?
I want to give you my first kiss.’
‘Just come, my saintliness ... I want it!
Just one, I will get the others there!’
She says, our good Anna: ‘Did you see all those flowers, Frederik?
I gave mine to René.
And did you see my little dove flying?
I am going now, even if it takes centuries, I will wait for you at the crossroads!
I know that you are now always there for me.’
‘Did you see all those masks fall?’ ... I utter.
Then I sunk into a deep sleep.
I dreamt that I was in Tibet, walked round in a Temple and ruled the roost.
Four hundred and seven men and women followed me.
I let them kneel.
They wore beautiful garments, including very simple ones.
I myself wore a frock of brown and yellow.
The sign of the very highest dignity flapped about on my left shoulder.
It was a simple ribbon, but a ribbon in innumerable colours.
You saw stars in it, the planets and solar systems, figures as living people; but also those represent ‘hells and heavens’ .
The beautiful and the dark human being.
With that dignity before and behind me, to the left and to the right of my life, I said, I heard myself saying:
‘If the highest awakens in your life, then be flexible!
If you yourself wish to awaken, then begin with another.
If that heart speaks about you, you do not need to do it yourself.
You then already walk behind your awakening and can be sure of a revelation for your lives.
For your lives, because then you go further!
We know each other, but we do not yet know how we restore the balance between what was and this which will come!
I will go out in order to explain those laws to you.
Next to me stands Rachi-Hadju ... do the masses believe me?’
Then the image faded.
I walked through all those people, behind me a boy of fourteen years old, a moment later I see that the child has become seventeen years old.
I go upwards, up stairs and down stairs.
High above in the tower of this building I lock myself and the child, this life, up.
I grab the books of our ancestors and dictate:
‘When the God of all life started His Creation, there was nothing.
When He rested after the first day, those hours were millions of years old, people must see those hours as such.
Gromé Sélectis ... do you recognise me?
I know you!
I can see you!
Then go further ... If you can and want to understand this life, educate the peoples of this world!
When He continued to build on His Creation after His first day, we saw that mists emerged!
And those mists would condense.
Seven hours had passed, seven days, seven months for the people, which are just as many millions of ages before the first human and animal life came forward.
The human being is millions of years old.
Also the animal, also the planet and flower life, all of this universal unity!
The human being will dominate ... but by means of love ...!
Go further and you will get to know the source of all life.
In this life you cannot do that, but lives will come for which you live and die, which are rich in happiness and prosperity.
You, and this life next to you ... you will be equal, because I am with all of you!’
I descend, the boy follows me.
We leave the building and go amongst the people.
Then I saw my death.
However, my life continues the work imposed!
‘Rachi-Hadju ... will you not succumb?’
‘No ... no, I am and will remain with you!
I will see you again!’
I awake with a fright, it is three o’clock, the middle of the night.
Everyone is asleep, only here next to me I hear groaning.
It is René!
I go to sleep again and feel nothing more of all that dreaming.
Can a person behave so strangely?
Can a person be exactly like a child?
Is a child supernatural?
I start to think about it, I start to believe that the bible has received this sacred truth through the supernaturals.
Then there is also something included for us and we may not be dissatisfied!
The West must awaken!
It is only then that the peoples of the earth will reach unity ... because He has only created one belief.
Not a thousand ... not ten thousand, only one ... for which I heard the answer.
I must admit that the cock crowed for me!
From now on I will do my best to drown his voice in a natural way: in other words, I will crow myself!
The people are now already taking off their masks!
Isn’t this amazing?
It is true, there were a great deal of flowers this evening ...
The next one is starting, nothing will stop us!
We are and will remain people!
And the other and better self lives in us, which has attunement to Him, to His Omnipotence!
Become as a state of purity ... and you will have made it!