Disembodiment (3)

André was again informed that he would depart from his body.
Four weeks had passed and during that time he had reflected on everything and acquired what he had received on his last journey.
Nothing had disturbed him and his inner wealth had increased.
How wonderful everything he had received from his leader was.
The depth of inner life, birth, death and returning to the earth, all that was tremendous.
He had not expected that he would experience it and now he was ready again to join Alcar and receive fresh nourishment for the mind.
He had gone to his room early and waited for what would happen.
During the last few days he had experienced new developments.
It was very peculiar; when he thought of everything and experienced it again, when he descended into the distant past he became aware of a peculiar sensation.
It rose from his deep inner self or subconscious, but only when he meditated and thought of all these wonders he had been allowed to experience, otherwise he felt nothing and was his own self.
He clearly felt as if someone else lived within him.
When he descended into the past, he felt he was taller and broader, and a different personality altogether.
It was very strange indeed.
This was no condition of trance, because when he was in trance he departed his material body and was not aware of anything any longer.
In this condition he was conscious of his own life and yet that other personality was within him.
It was a remarkable feeling he had not experienced before.
If he did not intensely concentrate on himself, that other personality dominated his own self, he then sank back into an other life and that other personality consciously passed into him.
This was the strange event he had not experienced before.
He clearly felt that if he did not want to, he could sustain himself and was still master of his own material body.
If he consented and wanted to experience these phenomena, that other personality passed into him and with that personality phenomena and feelings that were not his.
Then he acted differently and felt he had a beard.
If he wanted to remove that beard, he found it was not possible because it belonged to that other personality.
He repeatedly noticed that he stroke with his hand along his chin and it made him angry.
At such moments he threw everything away and he thought of his own life on earth.
Imperceptibly, that other personality returned.
There were feelings and phenomena in him, which not only he was aware of but also his friends and acquaintances.
Whenever that other personality dominated, a very refined feeling developed and the way he spoke differed from his usual manner.
He spoke carefully and it was remarkable that he could speak an other language.
When he gave in to those feelings willingly, he clearly felt that this civilization and that foreign language belonged to that other personality.
He also felt that he was drawn to an other country, invariably in the direction where he had been with Alcar when he had shown and explained the past of his friend.
These were remarkable feelings; one feeling was even stranger than the other.
In his own life he did not adhere to earthly things, he did not care about them, but in this condition he was attached to them.
When he gave in willingly and surrendered to that personality, he experienced many other phenomena and feelings related to that other being.
He then felt like a very rich person and that was a heavy burden on his mind.
He wanted to have an other house, the house in which he had been living for many years was not good enough any more.
He also felt a strong desire to ride horseback.
He dared not tell all this to his friends who asked him what was wrong with him.
He was afraid they would have misgivings about him, about that which had to do with his gifts, his leader and the side beyond.
For him all that was sacred, but these feelings were very strange.
Should he tell them: I am not André, I am someone else?
Could he, André, say that?
They would think he was insane and everything he had received from his leader Alcar would not be of value any more.
No, he could not tell them anything and he kept it to himself.
He wanted to know more about it himself and only his leader could explain it.
He could not tell them anything at all now, for some fresh feelings had come into him.
These feelings made him shiver and he now discarded everything related to that personality.
He himself, as André, was very happy in his life on earth.
There was a feeling of satisfaction, surrender, patience and contentment in him and he could control himself in everything.
Life on earth meant nothing to him.
He lived for his gifts and for his leader and he felt quite happy with what he had received and achieved during all those years.
Since that other personality had come into him, he no longer felt satisfied and he sought and wanted to have everything, which could make life on earth more comfortable.
Where was his own personality?
This was not André, this was somebody else and he did not want to possess these other feelings, because his inner happiness had disappeared with these feelings.
When these feelings manifested themselves it had given him a fright and he thought that somebody had influenced him, that he was nearly possessed.
That was not true, however, for he immediately felt quiet again when he concentrated on something else or on himself.
He nevertheless began to think and feel again.
He had wanted to ask Alcar what it meant, but he had not yet done so and had not received connection.
When he tried to see the face of this remarkable person, the image dissolved and the figure disappeared.
He thought it was his imagination but that wasn’t true either.
He did not imagine things; he was far too sensible for it.
He thought, has all this something to do with what I have experienced on the side beyond?
Or was it because he had experienced too much, that all those spiritual laws were getting too much for him and these were his own thoughts?
Was it really imagination, or the influence of some spirit?
Was he open for that?
He had never experienced anything like it in all the years he had been in connection with Alcar.
This was new to him, and strange, very strange.
It was not a condition of trance, because it was too conscious in him, it was a very strange phenomenon and it could therefore not be his own.
Alcar had told him that he was now conscious in everything and that the spiritual veil around him had been removed.
This meant that he was entirely conscious and they could give him anything from the side beyond.
He could now see through everything, there was nothing that stopped him in the spirit.
He now understood everything, could digest everything, he had been able to sleep well and felt very relaxed.
Yet, that other person lived in him and he attracted him when he contemplated everything.
For days it had preyed on his mind.
During the last few days, when he was ready to depart from his body again he had not felt much of this other personality and had completely been himself.
He was very curious to know if it had some meaning and he would ask Alcar.
He already felt that his leader Alcar was on his way and it would not be long before he would be in life after death again.
Yes, his feeling was correct, there was Alcar.
Instantly he heard his leader say: ‘Here I am again, André, you will soon be with me.
I’m going to release you from your material organism straightaway.’
André felt his spiritual body rise and he felt soundly asleep.
He was not aware of anything any more and awakened in the spirit.
‘Well, my boy, we are together again in life after death and you will again receive nourishment for the mind and I’ll explain quite a few things.
We’ll leave shortly, on our way I’ll tell you a thing or two and where we’ll go first of all.
Come, André, we’ll go on floating.’