My Mother

A curse rested on this house, on those who ruled, on every stone of this poisoned building.
They were all guilty, and it would collapse.
My rest served to think.
And I thought. I thought very deeply of what had been granted me.
I followed everything from the moment I entered.
First of all, I pondered what Dectar had taught me and I had seen and experienced myself.
When I was finished with that, I followed again what happened today.
During all those influences, the tension, concentration, and the mysteriousness of them, I suddenly thought I felt my Mother.
These thoughts were taken away from or suppressed in me as quickly as they had come over me.
Yet, I had a feeling that my beloved Mother was with me.
Now that I began to re-experience I returned automatically to that moment and I heard a voice beside me say:
“Hello, my dear Venry.
It is me, your Mother.
I am here, my boy, in and around you.
We are completely one, Venry, so do not worry about anything, for I know what the Temple of Isis is and means.
You are in good hands, Venry, and so is Dectar.
We shall help you, my boy.
Ardaty and I ask God for strength, which will be given you because we all serve.
Have you already got to know sleep, Venry?
What you will then experience is mighty and you must learn it, because sleep has many secrets.
We both live in those laws, Venry, it is very instructive.
Father is happy for he has his gardens here too.
You will bring the treasures of this world to the earth.
Your mouth will speak and you will make far journeys and see things that cannot be seen there, but we live in them and are one with them.
If new hatred should come over you, dear boy, then get rid of it. I ask you very fervently, and so does Father.
They will have to account in our world for what they did, though their life does not concern you, do not ever forget that, Venry.
The foundations of the Temple are mouldered, below them is darkness and I hear the crying of small children, calling for help.
They are young souls who experienced the laws, and to which end they returned to the earth.
I look into those young lives, Venry, and your Father knows it.
Mind your task, the world must know what lives on this side.
You possess those gifts and powers for they are present in your soul.
You will also receive the keys and get to know the secret laws, but you must make them your own so that you will be very strong and make Isis mighty.
However, you must have patience, otherwise, you will collapse under a burden you cannot yet carry.
It requires wisdom, and experience will strengthen you.
Never forget this.
Oh, do not worry, my child. We are alone and there is help, mighty help, Venry, which was extended to you when you were still a child.
Listen to Dectar, he knows the laws.
Their poison will kill you if you are hasty or too energetic. Your ardent enthusiasm sometimes worries me, but you will obey, will you not, Venry?
You must control yourself or solitude awaits you and that is why I have come to warn you.
You are no longer a child, and later on you will understand me.
Do not ask me what this means, for you would not be able to hide it, then the burden will become too heavy, and they will be able to receive your thoughts.
If you want to you may ask me questions, presently it will not be possible anymore.
So, Venry, do not hesitate to ask.”
“What should I do, dear Mother?”
“Think very fervently of yourself and work, Venry.
Do not permit others to pick up your feelings and thoughts, and do not let strange thoughts come over you; only your own thoughts or Dectar’s and those which constitute your life and way of thinking, for which you are here.”
“Is Father here?”
“No, my boy, though he hears us talk, and he is very happy now that he hears and sees that we are connected.”
“Did I feel correctly, Mother, that you were with me today?”
“You were living in space, I was also there and you felt me.”
“Can I not see you, Mother?”
“No, Venry, that is impossible, perhaps later on when you have acquired a lot of wisdom, your power will be great so that you possess many experiences and yet remain yourself.
Is that clear to you, Venry?”
“I understand you, Mother, and am very grateful to you.
Do you know the purpose of my life?”
“Yes, my boy.
The God of us all bestowed great gifts on you.
But when one receives gifts one is obliged to use them, though for one purpose only, which is to serve, Venry.
You will free the Temple of Isis from all its darkness and rebuild it.
A great work awaits you and you will need any help you can get.
Even when taking into consideration that you are very strong-willed, you would not be able to achieve it by your own power, Venry.”
“By whom, Mother, or whose will is it?”
“When I tell you that it is the wish of hundreds of souls you can accept this.
They will all be pleased to help you, they follow you and help carry stone after stone to give Isis a more beautiful garment.
They all do this for ‘Him’, whom we call God, but who is still unknown to your world.
If, on the other hand, you realize why you are here, my boy, then inspiration will be strong and very deep, an inspiration which drives you on, ever farther and higher, without interruption, to one goal: to accomplish your task on earth.
In the space where I live and where those souls also reside, we see all this and wait quietly.
However, do not think that we do nothing, Venry.
We pray and ask for strength, which requires unremitting concentration and our souls send those thoughts and feelings to ‘Him’, who possesses Almightiness.
We are quite sure of that.
Our prayers reach unto there so that the Gods will be with you.
Powerlessness is far from us, we discarded unconsciousness.
That worn-out feeling the soul experiences on earth, dear Venry, has changed here into reality, for we are conscious in everything.
We can now see behind things and we know, notwithstanding the space and the immensity in which we live, the tremendous depth of the smallest insect which follows its own evolution like we human beings do.
If you wonder what this means I could tell you merely about this subject for the rest of my life, because the ‘beginning’ and also the ‘end’ of all life resides in it.
Should you realize, dear Venry, that ‘space’ lives in the animal and that it could make itself understood, then man would hear and see his Creator and the space in which we are living would become visible to him.
It is very encouraging, dear Venry, but they feel supreme.
Try to feel our life and you will see ‘Him’ through whom we are.”
“I shall do my best, dear Mother, I know my goal now and shall work and wait.”
I felt my youth come back in me and asked: “Do you know him, dear Mother, who caused you grief?
Have you already met him there?”
“Yes, Venry, Father and I know him, but it is not possible to meet him.
Between us lies a world keeping us apart.
It is up to him to conquer that world.
The only thing we can do for him is pray, and believe me, dear Venry, my prayer is very earnest so that he feels and sees that his path too will be illuminated.”
“Shall I see him, Mother?”
“It is your intention to see him here, is it not?”
“Yes, Mother.”
“He spent the powers he possessed.
He himself destroyed the possibility to see you and reach you on earth and to meet you in our world, dear boy.”
“I still remember, dear Mother, that he said he knew me from other lives. Was that the reason why he could reach me?”
“When I see into them, Venry, many events manifest themselves and I see that he also felt something, though he did not understand everything.”
“Is what he answered me untrue?”
“When he talked about love, dear boy, evil passed through his soul.
Now he is himself too, and he has learned that hatred will kill him and cut him off from going on higher.
Forgive him if you love me, dear Venry, for he did not know the laws either and was a plaything for others; others lived through him, and they wanted to possess others again.
There are lives present in you which you do not know now because this life dominates the others and claims you completely, yet it is one with those in which you once lived.
And from those lives all these feelings originated; he lived in it and was conscious, but others urged him on to destroy us.
Believe me, dear boy, if we both had not made up we would have been destroyed.
But in us is the light that Ardaty sees and feels, which is our life.
Even a wrong thought, dear Venry, is a shadow in our life and that shadow darkens our light, it is a disturbance, so that our happiness is not genuine.
That shadow was in and around both of us; we lived in it on earth and made his connection possible.
But that is all over now, that shadow also faded away and we went further and higher.
There was only one shadow in our lives, in the life of others there are clouds and even deep darkness in which they live and in which they were great on earth.”
“So you have done what you both should do, Mother?”
“When I was living there, Venry, I saw behind things and I spoke of feelings by which men can see behind the material life.
Those feelings can be translated into words, if ‘He’ wants it, from whom they come and enter our heart.
This feeling lay under my heart, dear Venry, I caught this power and we both understood, however it happened, that time is not time, but working.
These feelings may arise in all beings, but they are not understood, for their feeling and their sense of hearing are materialized.
I recognized them because I knew and clearly felt that this power meant happiness, gave us both what God reserves for all his life.
The actual will, must be in us, Venry, we must follow ‘Him’ and accept everything; we must be prepared to die or else we cannot go ‘in’.
If you feel this, it will be clear to you that this is dying on earth; but here it means entering ‘life’, accepting and receiving the wealth of our home, and the gardens of Ardaty.
This ‘life’, dear Venry, sent us flowers and the singing of birds so that you are thankful, only thankful because the joy within you gives life and happiness to everything, radiating your entire surroundings.
Those powers were in me, Venry, they came from here and entered me so that a holy stillness came over me.
That very moment, my boy, when you felt this stillness in me which forced my soul to speak and tell you all about it, we lived in space.
That working came over me a long time beforehand as did that strange but fascinating atmosphere of which we were conscious.
To us it meant ‘passing away’, to others the escape from disaster, sorrow, and grief, followed by death on earth.
And yet, dear Venry, no one can escape from it.
‘Where shall we go’, I said to you, ‘when our paths are blocked’, for our souls felt the power that gave us ‘knowledge’ and surrender to ‘Him’ who knows everything about us and called us to come to ‘Him’.
On earth it is thought that this is time, but that is not true, Venry, it is ‘going in’ and cannot mean anything else.
The desire, arising within you to get to know all these laws, dear Venry, is as easy to understand as its occurrence.
But how shall I explain all these wonderful laws to you, my boy, now that we know that everything is feeling, which has to be ‘experienced’?
Space is ‘feeling’ too, Venry, so how much do we have to feel and witness if we want to be like ‘He’ is?
It is another incredible thing when I say that fruits, the flowers, and animals, in short all life to which we human beings belong are only feeling. Will man be able to accept this wonder?
And next, dear Venry, when I say that the waters is not water, but only ‘feeling’, would not the pharaoh punish me and have me locked up because he thinks that I deceive him and myself, and that my tongue is poisoned or that I am abnormal?
You probably think that ‘Omniscience’ is in me, but that is not true either, Venry.
The depressing feeling, my boy, which is sometimes nothing but asking to learn the ‘why and what for’ lies here in our hands.
Improbability dissolved ‘here’ for us, we all had to accept that ‘death’ is there ‘going in’ into reality, and has never been different.
You see, my boy, that is knowing, is perceiving, and experiencing one’s own life, it is deeper and mightier than one believes over there and yet so very simple.
Notwithstanding all this depth, it lives ‘in’ your soul, for you were born out of it.
What I tell you, Venry, is true. I can speak like that from this world.
Truth is living in me and in all those who see the light.
Thus, we are ‘conscious’ and part of that all-inspiring ‘life’.
When I spoke of the infinite, dear Venry, you will remember, it was shortly before we went away, we possess it now.
I do not have any self-satisfaction, dear boy, as this truth lives in me, otherwise, I would not see all this beauty.
When I retire to feel and think clearly I can make known what I feel and think.
In this respect, my concentration is perfect, dear boy, and my constant thinking brought me the happiness of this ‘life’.
The unsuspecting ‘going in’ into the things of ‘Him’, dear Venry, might mean a fatal working for me.
Then I would not be who I am, and yet, dear Venry, you hear me, do you not? You hear your Mother talking to you, and it is as if I am living there.
Has my voice changed in any respect?”
“No, dear Mother, you have not changed at all and you make me very happy.”
“When happiness is in you, dear boy, do you not think, dear child, that others would like to be happy too?
It will be a long time before they are prepared to listen, but you must tell them very clearly.
Dectar told you to think clearly and not to use many words, to look very earnestly at life in nature.
And I also ask you: Say it very clearly, Venry.
It is your soul which feels, creates, and translates it.
That is speech.
If there is depth and working in you, it will not be difficult to arrange the words.
The greatness of it will be lost if you are not clear and your journey to our world will be like going to a worldly party; your life will be fraught with emptiness.
They will listen to you; your words will be nourishment for the soul, especially for those who come after you.
When the worldly gold shines upon them, dear boy, even when they think they know better and their desires are not appeased, when they desire to be a mighty personality and to raise it above everything else, there is yet emptiness in them, dear boy, because those who want to own spiritual gold discard all worldly possessions.
What they radiate is spiritual power and strength, which feeds the soul and is heavenly.
If you were allowed to see my garment, dear Venry, you would accept this too, but you must wait, only then will you see this tissue that emanates from our own feeling and thinking.
It is not ‘being great’ on earth, but being humble in things which have been created by ‘Him’.
Make them to tissues for your own garment so that it is like a play of colours.
The admirable thing about this, dear Venry, you will understand when I say that all this can be acquired by thinking and feeling.
Now just imagine this, dear boy.
You only need to think, to act and to feel naturally, then a heavenly garment is yours.
However, you must then be free from hatred and all other dark feelings which form the dark garment and reduce you to those who swear and curse in sorrow and pain and even curse ‘Him’, the God from whom we originate.
Is it clear to you, dear Venry, that they themselves have woven this dark garment?
Their actions form the tissues and the complete garment represents their own life.
You should see them, my boy, how they stain themselves.
Some of them corrupt themselves, and only for things they pursue which are born out of desire.
Your heart will break, dear Venry, and there can only be love in you.
I saw them, dear boy, and they are poor, very poor.
They have no worldly and no spiritual gold, food or drink and they are black because their souls are dark.
You should hear them swear, they curse the very things they can not do without.
That is why they are living dead, because they always desire and neither see nor are convinced that a dark mass built up by their feeling and thinking follows them.
Do you think, dear boy, that they will spend just one brief moment reconsidering?
If they would think back to the moment when they began to desire and would suppress the sensations which darken their lives, they would smooth a path that will be passable for them one day, which they will have to do themselves.
They go ever further and keep yearning and are obsessed by what is called ‘gold’ on earth, by the buildings in which they live and feast, by the possession of slaves who have to serve them.
In their right hand, I see the whip, in their left, they liberally dish out lies and deceit, their hearts are cold and that chilliness lives in there.
They live behind a mask, dear Venry, so that other people cannot see who they really are.
In our life, we see through it because our garments show the blackness of our souls.
None of them can make the jump you made, for they drop and disappear into their own darkness.”
“Can you tell me, dear Mother, what such a jump means?”
“In you is the desire to be allowed to know what counterbalances gravity.
Can you accept it when I say that this is possible by concentration?
One similar law makes the planet earth float on, Venry, and with it all life.
He who could do that, dear boy, knows and possesses a small part of this law which is present in his own inner life and is activated by concentration.
It would appear to be a great wonder, but accept from me that there are no wonders.
They do not exist.
In reality you were carried: and the one who carried you drew from the source which balanced everything in space, from which winds begin to blow, lightning can flash, so that it rains and the rains pour down in torrents.
It makes life awaken and grow and flourish, my boy, and this happened as a result of his feeling, his powerful thinking.
And he who talked to you today is very strong in this respect, Venry, for he took you over that empty space.
Once you have advanced that far, you can do it on your own power, for that is possible too.”
“So there was someone who carried me, dear Mother?”
“You heard his voice today, Venry.
It is very important that you should know that he is powerful.
If you want to follow him you must be prepared to serve, for everything he says and sees is alive.
You may also accept that when wonders happen their existence is known.
In our life, everyone who possesses light can explain them.
Because these wonders happen consciously and belong to reality, you can accept that we too belong to the conscious life; otherwise, we human beings would also belong to what is called space.
But in us, there is feeling and we are tiny bits of all this greatness, which is ‘God’.
The pharaoh will receive you, and you will speak words that will never be forgotten.
When you follow him who spoke to you today, dear Venry, you will see light, and by this light ‘love’ and it is as a result of love that everything lives.
Certainly, dear Venry, there are two souls, as you thought once, which represent life.
Therefore, get to know one soul, the soul belonging to you, give one soul all your spiritual gold, your truth and your love, your own inner life, your heart and willpower and you will possess ‘Him’, the God we have come to know and who is only ‘love’.
When ‘love’ radiates from this Temple, a stream of people will come here to get to know the great.
To prepare yourself for that, dear boy, is worth living, being able to see and feel the wonders of God in which all people can be great.
However, you will bring it to them, Venry, because right now you understand all these wonderful things.
You are old because there is no youth.
And yet, you are still a child, but your soul is already of that age.
I need not explain that this concerns all your lives. Already in your youth, you lived in it.
Is all this really so unnatural?
When the time comes that the elder will not acknowledge the younger, because they have to make room for them, we will see a fight of youth against old age, dear Venry, and this will be a struggle to the bitter end.
Youth brings the new light, but only when reality and conviction are in them.
But implicit acceptance of their own greatness will make them fall together with many others.
When the great consciousness is in you, Venry, you may safely go to battle, for the new that is good must conquer.
The sorrow of those who do not feel this is great.
However, one law says, ‘Go and give way; you will make room for me, for my child comes to break down what is wrong.’
And then what is old will fall, my boy, but the new is alive and will in turn grow old.
That way I saw my old past and I saw this breaking down and rebuilding again and again.
You will accept now that this is the school for everyone.
He who belongs to ‘life’ has to abide by this law, because it brings us to where ‘He’ is who gave life to all of us.
It cannot be avoided, but you must possess the feeling for it.
Now listen well, my boy.
The powers by which I am speaking to you will soon be used up.
I wanted to tell you that you must forget this, however much you would like to possess it and carry it within you.
Do not be frightened, my dear Venry, it will return in you later.
Now that you feel me, you will understand why this is necessary, and you will know what I mean.
It is my wish and great desire, my dear Venry, that you should not think of me, but only of your work.
Should you keep all this within you it will be seen and felt, and frightful things would happen.
I could not withstand the pains that would come over me.
But you will get active assistance, dear Venry; I shall help you with it.
It will then be possible that you temporarily forget everything.
Now that you feel me, my boy, you will understand it is very important that it will return in you.”
“I have understood you, dear Mother, and I shall follow your advice.
A few more questions, Mother.
Shall I see you again?”
“Once more, dear boy, and then later on.”
“Father too?”
“Ardaty as well.”
“Why do you say Ardaty, Mother?”
“I have told you once that you will learn to know your Father.”
“What does this mean, Mother?”
“That I am going away, dear Venry.
Do not ask any more and forget.”
“Just one question, dear Mother.”
“My dear boy,
I read the question from your soul and shall give you an answer.
You know the Lotus in moonlight?
You know and feel that holy silence?
We have talked about it together.
In life nothing is imperfect, Venry.
I am as the Gods created me.
My dear Venry, my face is now as you have always seen it.
Now I am your princess, around my head is that halo woven by your great love.
Feel in me the mighty desire to show myself to you, but the Gods ask for my attention and that means: wait and see.
In the distance I see the eyes nearing, dear boy, they are preparing to come to you and many others, to see whether you are learning, and abiding by the laws.
I shall pray for you.
Goodbye, my dear Venry.”
“Goodbye, Mother, I am very happy and grateful to you.”
* *
My Mother had gone.
The warmth that I felt in and around me all that time also went, and I understood that my aide was near me.
These powers were probably also around my Mother, otherwise she would not have been able to talk in that way.
I made myself completely empty and followed my own experiences.
After a short time, I did not feel anything of my Mother and of what she had said to me any more.
A great deal had now become clear to me.
I understood the rapid return of Ardaty when I came to Isis.
Of course, my Father as well as my Mother knew that danger threatened here,
and as I had learned now, Dectar had then split himself.
My own experiences passed by again in my mind and now I stood before that sleep, which would last seven days and nights.
Now that I was connected with it again I could not possibly get on.
There was something that stopped me.
Should I still know more about it?
I had understood Dectar’s whispering speech.
In this way, I learned about all those frightful laws.
I realized that I lived in a spiritual robbers’ den, amidst demons of the most violent kind who were very dangerous.
They sucked the student priests dry as well as the mature priests, among whom might be Dectar.
These horrible beings made me shiver.