Dectar’s many lives

“I have got to know you in several ways, Dectar.”
He smiled for happiness like a small child and said: “You see, Venry, I can help the animals as a little child, not as an adult.
Wolta felt me as a child, otherwise it would have torn me apart.
It cannot harm a child, but I go back even further, when I am nothing, my consciousness has left me and the animal immediately quietens down.”
“How do you feel then, Dectar?”
“Well, Venry, that is very simple, like an animal of course.
I go into Wolta and feel as its own child.
At that moment, I know I feel very clearly and Wolta’s love enters me, which is delightful.
It makes me so happy, Venry.
Wolta wants to play with me and I can do everything with it.
It is the same with other animals, but with some of them you must be able to think back several lives. It is not until then that consciousness and being one are perfect.”
“Is it true, Dectar, that poison is changed into honey?”
“Do you doubt that, Venry?”
“I do not know, Dectar, but it seems very difficult to me.”
“I can do that too, Venry, but I’m not myself now and I must first be convinced of that.”
“What happens, Dectar, when the poison is dissolved and you pass on into it?”
“I destroy the poison with my will and the snake as well.
Do you know, Venry, that we take the poison and kill it within us?
There are masters who can live without food and drink for months, even for years at a stretch, and yet they are in high spirits and feel healthy.
That is difficult too and requires years of study.
Our concentration must be keenly focussed on one goal, otherwise, it is not possible.
We bring the snake into another life, next we completely pass on into that life, and only then there is no snake any more but the animal we have conceived.
A bird is free of poison, well, if I pass on into it the poison completely loses its power.”
“It is miraculous, Dectar, but is this activity infallible?”
We know that every animal species used to be a different species.
I could tell you a lot about that.
Our concentration can also pass into another one in which we once lived.
If we descend deep down into it, all qualities of that other life will pass into us and we discard our present being.
This being so, Venry, for we know these laws, it is also possible in the animal kingdom.
Our keen concentration passes us into it.
If we want to change the poison I pass the animal into another life, next I pass into that species, I completely merge with it, and behold, that poison is like honey.
When I got to know these laws I felt very happy.
I realized that they were my protection.
In this way, I passed into other lives again and again and they saw me change until I was completely lost.
I lived in various lives.
I saw myself as a child and beside me, my mother, however, in another country.”
“Is this feeling conscious in you, Dectar?”
“Certainly, Venry.
I pass into it automatically and then I am untraceable.
One should be conscious, otherwise they see through it; they know I want to hide.
When I am a child I obviously lose this life, or I completely discard this life.
Should there be any disturbances or should my connection not be perfect, then everybody will feel the unnaturalness of my feeling and thinking.
But then I speak in a very different way and cannot express myself clearly.
You will surely understand, Venry, that in that case, I am still living in this organism, but I feel and see myself in some other country.
I wear another garment in that life, and these cloths I find ridiculous.
I see garments, which mean darkness.
In other lives I am very old and also speak a different language, which is not known here and the masters laugh at me, even though they find it very natural.
Yet, it is of no value to them.
I’m aware of a great many lives, among them there are some which I find terrible, for I was insane then.
Some years ago, this was a horrible experience.
Then all these lives were conscious.
Yet they are part of me, which sounds very unlikely but it is the truth.
If my other gifts had not been conscious I would have been sent away, for I would not be the right person to disembody and make journeys.
They laughed at me, but I assure you that it saved my own life.
I just let them, otherwise I would not have been here anymore.”
“Could the masters establish that during the investigation, Dectar?”
“That is correct, during the tests, Venry.
They could not use me for departing from the body.
They are always in a hurry and yearn for new wisdom.
However, all those lives disturbed me when departing from the body and wanted to pass into my body to talk a great deal
and that is not the intention.
The masters find my observations in space useful, not those of all those others.
They call it dead consciousness and it must remain dead, only this life must be experienced.
Now it is much better, Venry, I am nearly ready and will have conquered them.
I will see to it that they fall asleep again, for I want to go on.”
I saw that Dectar also changed and yet remained himself.
He felt what I thought and said: “You see, Venry, that is the way it happens.
Do you feel me?
Yet I am myself, but one of them arises from within me and awakens.
Then my entire being changes.
This personality has nothing to say, or it was something beautiful.
All these personalities are stupid, they are not alive or fully conscious, but they have fallen asleep.
What they have to say is nothing special, there is no depth in anything, they are all spiritually poor and yet they are part of my inner life, for we are one, are we not.
In you, other personalities live too, Venry, and in every human being, but in you and others they are asleep and only wake up when they have gifts and can make use of them.
I told you a minute ago that I made them fall asleep, one after another and I am very far advanced in this respect.
But when love is in me, I awaken them myself.
Then it starts again and my life becomes unbearable.
There is one life in me during which I was a mother, Venry.
Then I want to leave here and go to the mountains, to my children, where I was very happy.
Then I see a beautiful country where the mountains attract me and I could cry for desire, that is how conscious this life is in me.
The desire to have children again makes me feel miserable.
I cannot help others, for my own ‘self’ is lost, and she who lives consciously within me has no notion of gifts, healing, and concentration.
Therefore, when she is within me I have lost all my gifts.
It is so simple and natural, dear Venry, for the person I am now belongs to this life.
And now I am Dectar, and a man.”
“Do you know any more priests going through the same, Dectar?”
“There are two more, Venry, but they are in a much tighter spot.
I am still myself, but they consciously pass into those other personalities and are not aware of this life anymore.
What those other personalities yearned for, their desires for instance, and other phenomena, are also present in them and they do incomprehensible and wrong things.”
“How did this come over you, Dectar?”
“It is very natural, is it not, Venry, it did because of my awakening, my gifts, feeling, and knowledge of all these laws.”
“Cannot the high priests do anything for you?”
“They have very often been able to help me well.
But this requires time and I want to do it myself.
I must be able to, Venry.
That is why my gifts could not develop sufficiently, especially so my wing, I am lame.
They do not help me; they ran me down and maimed me.
Oh, if I would see them collapse, Venry, all these personalities would leave me at once,
but only because of the happiness I will then feel.”
“Can you not do anything about it yourself, Dectar?”
He looked at me in amazement and said: “I alone against them all?
No, that is not possible.
I often tried to free me from them, but all my thinking and concentration resulted in deadly tiredness.
Sometimes I was completely free, but when I am fast asleep, right in the non-conscious condition, dear Venry, they maim me.
My caution and counter-concentration are inexhaustible; otherwise, my life on earth would have long been ended.
In their eyes I see and feel nothing anymore and am an innocent child.
But deep in my soul Dectar lives, as well as my hatred, which becomes ever greater.
You see, my friend, all these years I have been living for nothing.
That is how my beautiful life is spent and I will achieve nothing for myself, which is a great pity.”
An enormous change took place in Dectar now that he told of his sorrow and all his lives, which had broken him inwardly.
I firmly resolved to do anything to help him and said: “Can you have a little more patience, Dectar?”
“My dear friend, I felt you already.
I am very happy, Venry, for now I see some light.”
In the meantime, Dectar received a message.
In the morning, he was to come for me and take me to the building where I was to be locked up.
“Is it not marvellous, Venry, to be one?
And they will defile this being-one again?
I hate that, for the Gods give them everything and yet they are not satisfied.”
We took leave, Dectar left, and I entered my own cell.
The darkness awaited me and I had to prepare myself.
I had only come here recently, but I had already experienced such a lot.
Would I collapse?
Would the darkness destroy me?
What was I actually to endure?
Was it really so terrible?
They wanted me to become a great priest, but I trembled and shuddered because of all those monstrous things and the secrets of Isis.
I could not imagine something more horrible.
I kept thinking throughout the evening.
An astral wall surrounded Isis, built up by the masters.
It was obvious that I would require time; otherwise, nothing of my inner life would remain.
After a period of time, I would possibly be at full strength and they could begin.
How monstrous all this was, only demons lived here.
Oh, how well did I understand Dectar.
He was like a ray of sunshine in these poisonous surroundings, and he was the only honest being I had come to know.
I was living in an environment of sin and misery, where murder after murder was committed.
In the Temple of Isis lifeblood flowed.
The secret signs inscribed on the door of my cell represented the masters, but even there reality was defiled.
They meant: “Do not think, we think.
Do not live, we live.
Do not kill, we kill.”
But that would be the personality of those living here, and I understood it all.
This was not deep, for the holy seriousness was missing.
Shadows lived in the Temple of Isis and all these beings would like to live again, to experience this life again but in a different way.
They would be prepared for the events and be ready to resist the magical laws.
They would like to be ready to destroy the masters who decide here on light and darkness and in all of whom good and evil live.
To me it meant power, an urge to prepare myself.
Dectar wanted to sit on the clouds and float in space, to look down at those who were like devils.
Only now did I understand these words as well as their deep human feelings.
He would live in space and feel happy.
* *
My supper and oil were brought.
The latter I considered even more essential than the former.
My body should be very supple, but too much food could be detrimental to my development.
I rubbed my temples, heart region, and other parts of my body.
These mixed oils penetrated my skin and imparted a suppleness, which did me good.
When I was ready, I lay down.