After having experienced my final life, I returned to life after death and saw into all my former lives.

I had lived lives in which I bore children and possessed the ‘Mother body’, so that I got to know the laws.

In that life, I met a soul I had to make up to, which I did with my own body.

That soul descended into me and I had to accept that the mighty miracle became conscious in me.

In that life I served, could only serve, and I gave myself in it.

In that life I experienced the mightiest miracle created by God.

This miracle happened in me, my soul passed into that miracle, the young life arose from the darkness and became conscious in me.

In that life, I was ‘Mother’.

I saw many lives in which I experienced the law of ‘cause and effect’.

I experienced starvation and want, terrible pains, sicknesses and terrors, which can be experienced on earth when that life brings us slavery.

I saw myself as a slave, was killed by others, yet to die again on earth after having reached my age and return to it.

Again and again, I was attracted towards the earth by two souls, until there were no more souls on earth, which I had to make up to.

And so I stood before my very last life on earth.

I had made up for a mountain of misery, sorrow and grief, which I had caused to others.

In each life I searched for that ‘love’ which would understand me, but I did not find it.

I lived in my own ‘cause and effect’, which meant sorrow and grief and awakening.

However, I kept on yearning for that love, kept asking ‘why’ and ‘what for’.

There was sensitivity in me, a great deal of feeling and I was prepared to make up, but the means were beyond me.

I travelled round the earth, poor, and then again sometimes rich.

All peoples attracted my soul.

From one race (see article ‘There are no races’ on rulof.org), I returned to the other, where I lived and had to make up; one law accomplished this: the law of ‘cause and effect’.

One thing in me dominated in all those lives, the feeling of understanding and love.

How I yearned for it, but wherever I lived I did not find my own love.

With the unsatisfactory feeling and the ‘why’ and ‘what for’ conscious in me as well as the immense yearning for that one love, I was ready again for my very last life, to return to the earth and finish my earthly lives.