I, whose name is Lantos, belonged to those who put an end to their earthly life.

I killed a human being, then myself, but this appeared impossible for me to do.

I entered another life, that is the life of the spirit.

But I would wait, absorb and deal with everything properly.

I had the feeling as if I was floating between heaven and earth, because as I already said, this world was empty, I was living in an empty space and could not feel any ground under my feet.

Again I followed the cord, because I still could not accept it.

Yet when I felt my condition, a deep sorrow entered me, because I thought I understood this horrendousness.

No, that was not possible anyway, I could not deal with that, because it would destroy me completely.

I understood now that my material body would first have to be decayed before I could leave.

I had to experience the decaying process myself.

My soul sunk when I felt this.

Now I understood their saying that the worms would find a dwelling in my soul.

Oh, how dreadful this truth was.

By means of this I felt that working in me, all that incomprehensible life.

This could not be doubted, I had to accept that truth, because I saw and felt it in myself.

This upset me completely, it was a devastating truth.

No torture, no misery on earth however cruel could be compared to this horror.

If only my father had flogged me to death, how gladly I would have surrendered myself to him.

I was revolted by what I felt and perceived, because the process had already started.

How long would this last?

An inhuman thing started to take place and I had to experience that.

A horrible smell entered me, and I understood that too.

I had even kept my nasal organs in this life.

My earthly pains and all those sorrows in my dungeon were trifles compared to this new and spiritual suffering.

If there is a God after all, a God of Love, if there is justice and mercy, if sympathy exists which people and animals feel, if there is an Almighty Father in heaven who watches over all His children, then I ask myself, how could You approve of this?

I would have to be in hell.

However I did not see fire, but this was much worse.

Oh, my God, this too on top of so much suffering.

People on earth knew nothing about this.

How deep these problems are, how dreadful spiritual suffering is.

Oh human being, do not put an end to your earthly life.

Do not close off the daylight, accept, accept everything, otherwise on this side you will stand before your failed life.

How I would want to call that out to those on earth, loudly, very loudly!

Whatever happens, whatever you experience, however terrible your suffering on earth is, do not do this, endure it, because everything comes to an end.

You have light, you see people, you can go where you want, you have your own will, you have everything.

But I was stuck here, had to experience that my body decayed and felt it, because all of this was taking place inside me.

What is broken love, what is the loss of your loved one, your possession, money or goods and thousands of other things, when you know that there is a continuation?

As a result of sorrow or various other things, many people put an end to their earthly life, but then they will have to experience this, this dreadful thing, the decaying process of their own garment.

Here I reached reflection, in the silence of my own grave I got to know these problems.

Oh, if only I could tell this to mankind one day, if only this would be possible one day and I would be allowed!

If those laws and powers existed, then I would lay down my soul powers in there and describe all my misery, in order to preserve the people on earth from this dreadful process.

As a result of all that thinking I became tired and I wanted to try and see if I could sleep.

However, I had to give this up, the process of decay kept me awake.

I now knew nothing more about time, because I had stopped noting the days in my cell and I could not do that here.

In my feelings months had passed, but it could also be years.

I continued to think and think and I kept trying to free myself.

Yet I could already move a bit further away from my earthly body, as a result of which I understood that the end would come one day, although it could still be a while.

Within myself I felt many other feelings, which came to me straight from my material body.

I could not stop those pains and that feeling, that life went on, had to go on, otherwise I would remain here for eternity.

The quicker this process was completed, the better it was for me.

As I already said, my thinking brought some relief, because I then went into the feelings which I thought about.

As a result of this I understood that, if I could tune into other things, I did not feel so intensely my pains and all the torments which I now experienced.

Everything here was concentration and I learned to master all those attunements of feeling.

Suddenly I felt an intense shock going through me.

I wondered what this would mean.

It came from my earthly body.

I concentrated and understood the meaning of this event, I felt and saw it clearly.

My earthly garment had entered the second phase of disintegration, I had already felt such a shock before.

Since I felt and perceived this, I understood this great and mighty problem, however terrible it was.

I would experience this misery more and more deeply, until my earthly body had decayed.

I had to get through this, deal with everything until the very last.

It was a dreadful process.

Inhuman!

I tried to move away again and I noticed that I could now go a few metres further.

I also thought that I could perceive something new.

It was very peculiar, when I looked at my material body I saw into the darkness, but above me it was a bit lighter.

Was the universe there above?

I crawled around on my hands and knees but did not feel anything.

I only saw that darkness and that light, it was not possible to touch anything.

However, I wanted to know about it and reflected upon it.

Unexpectedly I felt what it meant.

Suddenly that thought entered me.

That darkness there, where my body lay, that was the earth and here above me was the universe.

Therefore when I felt clearly, I was on the edge of my own grave.

The cord stretched, since my body decayed.

The material world was in the darkness and the universe was separated, which I could clearly see.

Yet it was so rare that I still kept going through the material.

I suddenly felt an intense shock again and I understood that this had to do with my body.

My poor garment had still not perished.

Oh, if I had taken care of it, how long would it have lasted?

Now I felt happy that this had not been the case.

The sleepiness which I had felt had now disappeared and I descended into the darkness in order to see whether the end of this process would soon approach.

In the beginning it was a thick haze which lay shrouded around my whole earthly body and tied me like a cord to my body, but now it was transparent.

I was really delighted about this, because this meant that I would soon get my freedom.

I returned to my earthly body again and wanted to know how far it already was.

I was disgusted by the dreadful smell, but the haze was no longer visible to me.

Yet I still saw my garment, but in another phase, the bones were visible.

I was pleased when I felt that the cord had started to lose power and I could move away further and further.

However, I also felt the silence and the sleepiness entering me more intensely.

I stumbled onwards, I removed myself increasingly further from my material body, but sleepiness forced me to have a rest.

Now I felt myself sinking away, deeper and deeper and I fell down in order to sleep.

I was still with my earthly garment in feeling, but the sleepiness and the silence dominated and I knew nothing more about it.

When I awoke, I wondered where I was.

After thinking for a while, I remembered what I had experienced.

I was free, could go where I wanted and would now finally see people.

I jumped up from the place where I had gone to sleep and started my journey.

I would soon meet them.

Oh, how happy I felt.

I walked onwards, continually onwards, but there seemed to be no end.

How far had I wandered off from the inhabited world?

The world in which I now found myself was still that empty world.

No animal, plant or human being, nothing else but the silence of death.

But it would come, for sure.

I therefore walked on and in feeling it seemed that I had not walked for hours but weeks.

Would there be no end to it?

What would I have to experience now?

Yet I continued, further and further.

Soon I would see people and have fun.

I longed for it.

How long had I been alone?

First in my cell and then in this horror.

However, now I could go further, nothing kept me back anymore.

Further, continually further, it would come soon.

However, I felt myself becoming depressed that it was taking so long and it was so far away.

But I gathered my every strength and stepped on to the land with many inhabitants and with its amusement.

Yet no change seemed willing to come.

Was I still not free yet?

Did a new horror await me?

Had I still not suffered enough then?

Was there no end?

Had they also deceived me about that?

I lived, I could move and yet I could not obtain what I wanted to possess.

Again I asked myself thousands of questions and got angry.

No, it was not that, I had to go even further, I was still not at the end.

After having rest I set off again, saw all around me, above and below me, but there was no change.

I remained alone with that awful deathly silence, which I had felt at my grave.

I was still in this empty world, but I had to and wanted to get out of it.

Away as soon as possible, to people and where there was movement.

I would still go crazy if this did not come to an end.

After having walked for a long time, I sat down again in order to rest.

Oh, oh, how terrible this life is, how incomprehensible, how inhuman, all of this shocked me deeply.

How could God approve of this?

I had already felt respect for Him, but now my good intentions were smothered again.

I started to hate and to curse again.

Is there no mercy?

God does not damn, but is this not damnation?

Am I busy being damned?

I said this to myself and immediately commanded myself to be calm.

I had to wait, be calm and carry on.

However, I had very probably already walked for weeks and there was still no end.

I had already rest three, four times and I still found myself in this empty world.

I set off with the last strength which I had within me.

Now I quickened my pace and ran towards the unknown, but there was still no change and I collapsed exhausted and fell asleep for the umpteenth time.

I did not know how long I had slept, but I still remembered my situation.

I set off again, because I now felt rested.

However, there appeared to be no end.

I sought for ways to escape from this dreadful situation, but how?

I could not find anything and I screamed and cursed like madman.

I suddenly felt exhausted.

My throat closed, I was tormented by hunger and thirst and many other things.

Suppressed by this terrible suffering, I still set off again, but after a few steps I collapsed again and fell into a swoon.

I awakened again and went on my way.

After having walked for a while, I started to have doubts again.

Now I tried to find my earthly body again, because I thought that had to look for the fault within myself.

I should most certainly not have passed over.

However, no matter how I searched, felt and touched, my earthly garment appeared impossible to find.

Then I would just have to carry on and now I would try to remain quiet and calm.

I had been travelling for an eternity and there was still no change.

I set off again and after walking for a while I thought that I felt a light wind, or was I imagining this?

Yet I felt it.

yes, finally it seemed to be changing, so I carried on, but no longer hurried, because I wanted to concentrate on everything.

That light wind became a whispering and now I felt it clearly.

I thought that I now saw life around me.

It was above and under me, wherever I looked and I became jubilant inside that I would now finally see life.

I did not understand why it had taken so long, but I would ask this to the first person that I met.

I wanted to know the meaning of all the things I had experienced.

Now I felt that I was on the right path and I continued.

I saw shadows before, next to and above me, but it became darker and darker under me.

The light wind which I had felt became stronger and now became a storm, the whispering had become a strong howling.

The life around me now changed with every step.

How naturally this happened.

Underneath me it became more condense and I felt like I did on earth.

Was this earth?

Was I in the inhabited world?

Those shadows now took shape, everything condensed and it was as if I entered another world.

I felt my heart in my throat and I felt myself becoming afraid.

I had been alone for too long.

Now I saw life and would soon see people.

It became clearer and more condense before me and I felt that I had gone back to earth

Was I then here in reality, in the spiritual life?

I dashed towards life, I could not be stopped.

I now heard the violence of a hurricane and it seemed as if heaven and earth perished.

Was this hell?

Yet I carried on, because it laughed at me, I yearned for it.

I now no longer felt my fear and nervousness.

The more violent it became, the more I liked it.

However, it was not so easy to carry on, because I was heading for a whirlwind, which tired me greatly.

Yet the further I went, I passed into this new life and now that I had come so far, I did not feel it so intensely anymore.

Then I thought that something held me back and I resisted that power, because I wanted to see people as soon as possible.

However, that opposing power tired me so intensely that I decided to have a rest.

I was certainly not yet resistant or hardened against this and I had to get used to it first.

Before me I saw a city, people would therefore live there, but it was darkness around me.

Yet I could perceive things.

While I sat here thinking, I thought I heard a voice.

I looked around me, but did not see anyone.

Again I heard talking and asked: ‘Is there anybody here?’

‘Yes’, I heard.

‘Where are you?’

‘Here, with you, but invisible to you.’

‘Invisible?’ I repeated.

‘Why do you not come to me then?’

‘Listen, my friend, I have something to tell you.’

‘You have something to tell me?’

‘Yes, when you want to listen.’

‘Can you tell me where I came from?’

‘I will clarify that for you.’

I listened attentively and already understood who was speaking to me.

I heard him say: ‘You wandered on, continually further and there was no end to it.

Yet this end has come.

After your release you had to experience the time which you would have experienced on earth in a normal situation.

Is this clear to you?’

I thought about it and said: ‘No, I do not understand this.’

‘Then listen.

You put an end to your earthly life.

Do you know that?’

‘Yes, I know that.’

‘Well, you would have carried on living on earth and you could only live out that time when you had been freed from your earthly body.’

I now understood what the voice meant.

At some distance from me I saw a person who was going in the same direction as I was.

I was very curious whether it was a human being of the earth, or the astral being.

When I had come a bit closer, I saw that it was a woman.

Had she died or was she still living on earth?

I had come close to her and I gave a cough, but she did not hear me.

She did not bother about anything and carried on walking, on and on.

But spirit or material being, she was a human being.

Yet I wanted her to notice me, I could probably ask her a few questions.

When I was walking next to her, I spoke to her, but she remained deaf and was apparently also blind, because she did not hear or see me.

She walked on in thought and behaved as if I was not there.

A strange apparition, I thought.

Now I tried to meet her from the other side, then she would have to see me and she could not ignore me.

When I was a few steps ahead, I turned back, but she did not see me now either.

Did she still live on earth?

Then I understood that she could not perceive me, because the spirits were not visible to the human being who lived in the material body.

A few people had seen spirits on earth, but I was not one of them.

She was also blind like all those other people.

I continued to walk close to her, I as a person who had died, while she was still in possession of her material body.

I found it very interesting to see a person of the earth and only now did I understand how deep the spiritual life lay hidden behind that veil.

The haze, which hid this world, was impenetrable to them.

How I had search for all those problems.

From early morning until late at night and yet I had not worked them out.

It was therefore very normal that she did not see me.

I had now entered that incomprehensible live.

Sooner or later they would all come here and they would find it just as amazing as I did.

However, this human went continually further and I continued to walk with her, because I was curiously where she was going.

She wore a beautiful garment, just like my mother had worn.

As a result of this I understood that she belonged to the first circles, because this attire was very expensive.

Was it day or night on earth?

I established from her actions that it was day.

She would not be able to walk like that in the evening or at night.

The gates of the city were closed on time and anyone who was not indoors in time had to stay outside, or be provided with the necessary papers.

Was she a stranger?

I found her very peculiar!

I gained new experiences again.

We walked further and further.

Soon we would enter the gates of the city.

Yet I tried to speak to her again and asked: ‘Are you from the earth?’

But she remained deaf and blind.

It took quite a while before she had reached her goal.

We walked on next to each other for a while, but there appeared to be no end to this walk.

However, this walking on was beginning to annoy me.

Where was she going?

We had already been travelling for hours.

Did this mean something?

The further we came the closer the city became to me.

Yet was this image another one than I had first perceived.

What did this mean?

I wanted to see the inhabitable world and I just continued onwards, so that there was no end to the walking.

Or for her either.

I felt that I was faced with a new problem.

Well, something occurred to me, I was not thinking purely.

I thought for everything and everyone, but not of the earth, not what I should be thinking about.

In this way I would never make it, because my thoughts disintegrated.

I was on my way and not on my way.

But she then?

Was she not a human being of the earth, not a material being?

I looked at her again and got a fright.

Her face showed deep sadness.

Her eyes were empty and yet they saw, because she walked onwards, continually further, but she walked with her head bent towards the earth and had sunk into deep reflection.

Could those eyes see or was she a sleepwalker?

I found myself in a strange situation.

It seemed to me as if she was looking through the earth.

Was I in connection with the earth?

I started to doubt myself.

Who was she and what kind of human being was she?

A spirit, a problem?

I suddenly thought that I sensed this problem.

I tried to follow her train of thought and really, I felt it clearly.

She had died on earth, because death entered me.

Now I understood this miracle.

She had committed suicide and lived in the silence.

I had met a woman who had committed suicide.

Since I had not tuned myself in enough, I had experienced it wrongly.

Now I tuned myself into the earth and immediately this world condensed, so that I saw the earth before me.

When I tuned into her again, but still remained in connection with the earth, I saw that she was shrouded in a haze.

She was now a shadow for me, as I had perceived the demons in my dungeon.

This event was amazing.

A human being who had ended her life, a woman!

Oh, you cannot be helped; because I now understood her whole situation.

She could continue for years and still there would be no end.

I just hoped that she would not have become a hundred years old on earth, otherwise her suffering would be incalculable.

I had also walked on in this way, so I knew her suffering.

She had to experience it, because she was living out her earthly life in it.

No, she could not hear or see me.

Yet one day this world, where I now was, would be visible.

However sad it was for me, I still found this world amazing.

The human being who put an end to it, closed himself off to everything that lived in the universe.

She now lived in an empty space, like I did.

There was nothing, nothing, only she and her thoughts.

She thought and just carried on walking, year in and year out again.

Yet an end would come!

In her I saw my own suffering and all my misery passing before me again.

Now that I perceived this, I clearly understood my own life for the first time.

It was wonderful!

Everything which I had experienced up to now was wonderful and mighty.

She had chosen poison and I the noose.

When I thought about it, I felt the stabbing pain entering me again.

By thinking about it those pains came back to me and when I thought about other things, it went away again.

That sensing was remarkable, but I would continue in this way.

I had learned from this situation how to connect myself in different ways.

I felt what interested me.

The most amazing things entered me.

Her life entered me, as soon as I wanted to think about her.

I considered everything clearly, because I would have to learn through all of this.

What I experienced was sad, but nothing could be done about it.

Suffering and deep misery walked there, a human wreck!

She was dead and yet she was alive.

However, she was also unconscious in her life of everything around her.

She was blind and deaf, alone and abandoned, she was nothing.

I sat down and continued to look at her.

She went further and further.

A human problem was walking there which I alone knew and that was nothing but misery.

I could not express in words how I saw her.

She walked in the silence of her own grave, she could not be stopped by anything.

She also knew what the process of decay meant.

She had experienced that her maternal and divine body had decayed.

Oh, woman, how did you come to that?

As a result of love?

Was your heart broken?

Did life on earth destroy you?

It could be so beautiful there, but one human being destroyed the life of another.

I had killed, but I had been forced to.

The dearest thing to me had been sullied.

Who would have been able to control themselves?

And yet, I now knew, I had to do this.

I should not have let myself go.

But afterwards, where would she enter?

Would she go still deeper into that darkness?

I also understood that now.

It was only when she had discarded all of that, that she would go to her direct attunement.

She would enter a hell or a heaven.

Then this life would only begin for her, then she would pass into this, the real life.

It was surprisingly well put together.

Those laws were God’s laws, nothing could be changed about them.

Watch her walking there, that poor thing!

I continued to see her, but when I thought of other things, she was invisible to me.

Yet she was there, she carried on, further and further, although then that hell was invisible to me.

In this way there were probably countless invisible hells and I wanted to get to know them later.

It was worthwhile knowing everything about this life, how all of this was arranged and what the people were like who lived there, and what they had done to enter there.

But I continued.

I only lived for months and months and years.

The time which I should ...

I should have lived another thirty-two years.

Those thirty-two years, now it is coming, I lived them in a world, in an invisible world.

You should read ‘The Cycle of the Soul’.

You cannot avoid this.

Just commit suicide, then you will also enter another life again.

Just commit suicide, then you will go into the ground with your body – just read ‘The Cycle of the Soul’ by me, that is my life – then you will experience the rotting process until your body has finally gone.

You experience that rotting process, you remain conscious, you are attached to that body, and when it has decayed, you will be released, and then you will have neither life, nor light, you will live in a world which is not there, you have kicked yourself from that life.

Is there another justice?

When the time now comes when you really die, and your time, your earthly life is over, then that world will dissolve, those shackles will fall from you, and you will enter the reality again, the harmony for your own life, your own evolution.

On the other side, you see people, and you do not see them.

You see them, but they are hazy.

Why?

Because you still have attunement to earth.

Yes, it seems nothing, you feel nothing, but you are still in an uncertain, unconscious world, because you have not yet completed the dying, you have not yet completed your life.

You have not yet used your aura.

Can you feel this?

So you lack that aura.

And also like the body, when the rotting has gone, then you still do not get that, because then the life span keeps you captive on earth.

And when the actual time comes, then you get as it were – you therefore walk consciously in sleep on the other side – and then you get that, that strength is sent, and you become walking awake as it were.

I kissed myself when I put an end to my life and hung myself from the bars of my dungeon, because I now had the truth.

I was finally also happy because I stood before the just law: stay away from your life with your fingers, with your hands, because it is Divine and I broke off my life humanly, as a man.

All those sorrows there in the ground, they are indescribable, I had to experience them and then I had to accept them.

And then the moment came, that the cord broke with regard to my corpse, my organism, and I could quietly explore that space, I lived in an invisible world for myself.

There was no human being, no green, no light to be seen, I was alone there.

I was alone in a vastness.

There was no light, no word, nothing.

Nothing could reach me of that Divine love – could it? – of that Divine attunement, that justice, this universal oneness.

Nothing could reach me, do you see?

I was faced with the reality, I lived there alone.

Another suicide lay yonder and experienced his own grade.

My character traits had built up an own world, I could not be seen by another suicide, because this was my light, my thinking, my feeling, my consciousness, my love ...

You cannot experience the sorrows if you read that; if you pass over into that, you must experience that yourself, it is only then that the Divine just law speaks to your personality.

But I saw – and this is a new Divine foundation by means of which we got to know the All-Mother as love – there was no damnation to be seen, I was alive.

I was not in a hell, there was no fire; but I was alive, and I walked and I strolled and I strolled further, I went through that space, I felt firm ground, yes, it was a soft material, and I did not see anyone.

Year in, year out, because I still had years to experience and to finally – you will read that – that mist dissolved, that misery, that darkness and I came back to reality again.

My eyes, my feeling ... when I saw that vibrations came around me again – do you see? – the God of life reached awakening in me again, as a human being, to the human attunement, then tears already ran down my cheeks because I could say: I am alive, nothing can be destroyed, I will continue.

I made a slip.

I already had to do with the bible, with the hells, I was religious, I prayed, I thought, a really wonderful feeling; but the temper, the conceited in me to be able to attack a human being – even if my love was stolen – broke me completely spiritually and physically.

And yet joy, joy to finally be able to say: I am alive, there is space.

There is a God of love.

No, this space is love.

I stepped out of the harmony, the justice for a moment into the uncertain, into the meaningless, the human self, the thinking feeling.

But then I was released from the rotting, the plague, the cholera, and the corpse-like leprosy and I could continue.

There was no damnation.

We had to bow our heads.

When I put an end to my life and went into the ground, I was standing next to it and was at the same time attached to my coffin.

Because my corpse said: “This far and not further.”

No, the life said: “I gave you sixty, sixty-seven, sixty-eight years, two days and so many minutes and you have to experience that time, because that served for your fatherhood, or you will not be able to accept motherhood.”

That means: I murdered, I beat ... I murdered myself, I beat myself from that Divine harmony, that Divine justice and I could no longer accept or experience any harmony.

I experienced and created disharmony, disintegration, destruction for myself.

But there was no God who punished me.

I punished myself.

Before you lies the astral world, what you hear is passion and violence.

Yet look there, another way.

This one will take you to the silence, yet another silence that the one you felt.

It is the way to the spheres of light, to the higher life.

You are not yet conscious and other powers can destroy you.

Yet when you continue to seek the higher, I will assist your efforts and support you in everything.’

‘Am I unconscious?’

‘Unconscious’, was the reply I got.

‘Is that the earth, there before me?’

‘The earth, my son.’

‘And where is hell?’

‘This is your hell.’

‘My hell?’

‘Your hell’, I heard it clearly said.

‘Hell is the image of your inner life.’

‘Is there no fire burning?’

‘No, but the fire of passion.’

I reflected for a long time and then I heard it said to me again: ‘What do you wish to do?’

’I want to see and meet life.

What do you advise me?’

‘Act according to your own feelings and follow the voice of your heart.

If you need me and there are problems which require clarification, if you feel that you want to get to know life, our life, and start to feel the seriousness of your life, start to understand the suffering on earth and you want to follow that other path, then call me and I will come to you.’

‘Are you Emschor?’

’I am Emschor, your spiritual guide.’

I entered the hells then, the dark worlds where the human being lives who has accepted the earthly laws of life in disharmony, who has organically broken the harmonic laws of Mother Earth to pieces and the human being who steals, murders and commits arson.

I met those people.

I followed them.

I experienced millions of them and asked: “What are you doing?

What do you feel?

Do you know God?”

Years, years, for centuries I held my hands before my eyes and actually walked aimlessly, I no longer dared to look, I found and experienced life so great, so wonderful, so loving.

This life which freed me from suicide; I had to make good, but despite that, I received the new ‘wings’, the new energy.

My Divine attunement came into harmony again, to the justice and I could begin with the continuing of my life, my spirit, my personal thinking and feeling.

And then I became benevolence, then I became love.

There was a woman walking in front of me.

In her lay suffering and sorrow.

I felt this clearly entering me.

She was still young and shrouded in rags.

I would follow her.

Where was she going?

Was she alone in this world?

She was also broken, heart and soul.

I met nothing but misery.

She wandered from the one street into the other.

I noticed that I was in another part of the world, because the language which they spoke here was not mine.

Yet I understood her.

In feeling I passed into that language and the being and in this way I interpreted her own feelings.

This was the spiritual connection.

In this way I felt all the languages which people spoke on earth.

I continued to follow this woman because thoughts of suicide were in her being.

These feelings came to me when I had connected with her.

She continually thought about it.

If she was to end her life, she thought, her suffering would be over.

Death was death to her.

However, I felt even more.

In and around her I saw the means which she thought of, in order to end her earthly life.

For her it was a jump in the water.

However, even then she would be attached to her earthly body, and wherever it went, she would have to experience this dreadful process.

Yet I felt that she could be helped.

Anyone who could not be reached had to be left to their fate.

In her lay maternal suffering and I felt why she had reached this state.

She had been abandoned and a young life lay within her.

If she was to end her life, she would not be the only one to enter this world.

It would be a double murder which she would have to make good.

Now that I knew this, I would do everything to prevent her.

Who had put her in this state and left her alone?

It was inhuman.

There before me walked dreadful suffering, as I had not yet experienced.

My God, I thought, how much suffering there is.

I no longer called out ‘why can God approve of this?’ I knew.

I remained connected with her and supported her.

I led her far from the place where she wanted to go.

Not that, I thought.

Do not search for the water, it is attracting you.

She sat down on a bench in a park in order to rest and soon fell into a deep sleep.

I gauged her sleep and determined how long this could last.

She would sleep for a few hours and I therefore had a few hours’ time.

I wanted to make good use of them.

I went in search in order to be able to bring her into contact with other people who could help her.

I moved away and concentrated on those people who could be reached by me.

I searched the whole area, but without a result.

I therefore wandered around the area and saw a large building in the distance.

I went there.

When I entered I saw that it was a monastery and that monks lived there.

The human being on earth had not yet started his daily task.

I concentrated on the time and determined that it was four o’clock in the morning.

Yet here were people who could help me.

I went from one room to another.

At each bed I gauged the person lying there.

After I had gone in and out of a dozen rooms, I found what I was looking for.

This monk could be reached.

He was open to being able to receive the rays and thoughts from the spirit.

Because of my deep concentration he stood still and looked at her.

I placed love, nothing but love in him.

‘Help her’, I said to him.

‘Help, come on, help, she needs your help.’

How difficult it was to achieve this.

I understood his situation.

This monk was not used to speaking to people, and what is more to women, but he had to.

I got him so far as to go to her.

I called to him: ‘She needs your help.’

Suddenly he looked around and next to him.

He had clearly received my words.

Yet I was invisible to him.

Now I forced her to stand still and to look at the monk.

When I had also achieved this, I connected with him again and called to him: ‘Help her.

God is Love!

God is Love.

You must help her!’

Finally he overcame himself and said to her: ‘Must I help you?’

He spoke my words without knowing it.

She wept.

‘My sister’, he said, ‘can I help you?

Our Almighty Father sent me to you.’

When I heard him speak these words, I felt myself sinking away.

A deep feeling of happiness flowed inside me.

Thank God, I thought, she has been saved.

Yet I remained standing and saw that she was taken inside.

The doors closed behind her and my work was over.

I knelt down where I had been standing in order to thank my Father that I had been able to help a human being.

Then I visited the monk.

He was in the chapel and was praying to God and thanked his Father, as I had done.

He saw the Holy Spirit in me.

The Holy Spirit had descended from heaven and had allowed him to accomplish this miracle.

They felt it as a miracle and people thought they saw a saint in him, but I had been the saint.

Yet I was still only at the beginning of my real path, but it did me good that they considered this as a miracle.

Then I visited the young woman.

She was lying on a spotless white bed and was weeping from happiness.

She also thanked her Father.

All of us had our own God, and yet, her young life had been saved.

She was taken care of and her child would be born on earth.

So I had learned a lot again and done something for my fellow human being, I wanted to carry on like this.

But I was once on earth, I was once a suicide there – André possesses ‘The Cycle of the Soul’.

Can you feel my expansion?

For the Catholic Church I was damned eternally, and I became cosmically conscious.

Do you still believe in damnation, André, people of the earth?

This is: I violated the time of life which I possessed.

So if you commit suicide, then you go from the divine harmonic life, also the time.

And now you enter an unconscious, unreal world, because you did not accept the reality.

A human being who consciously looks for death, the material passing over – there is no death – and still possesses thirty, forty years as aura in order to live.

Sir, if you see a suicide one day, then just do not say that that man is stupid, but then you must ask yourself – and this is how I start to think about that –: ‘Am I finished for myself?’

If a human being hits another, sir, what do you do then?

If a human being burdens, gossips, talks about and destroys the human being, what will we do now?

Am I free from that?

I do not interfere in that.

You see, now life becomes good, because you start to see it differently.

But we have shadows behind us?

No, sir, we now still drag ship loads full with us, and that is then called karmic laws.

Did you not think so?

That is this, and that is that, and that is like that, and that is like that, we have misery, we do not make progress; we want to, but we cannot.

What is that, sir?

Masks and masks and masks and masks, problems.

But we have collected them, including suicide, everything.

I should have analyzed all your lives from ‘The Cycle of the Soul’ and then you will get to see the universal suicide.

This was only one state, of myself.

It is ignorance, my son, that causes thousands to put an end to their life, and it is also the reason why there are so many mental patients on earth.

One needs to learn these things as a child; a child has the right to know the Divine laws. It certainly will not harm him; on the contrary, it will increase his consciousness.

(Lady in the hall): ‘Master Zelanus, as a novice of the spiritual university I ask you ...

You just said: I cannot give you the spiritual consciousness.

But now I ask you: how can I reach spiritual consciousness?’

If you want to experience that yourself.

I cannot give you it.

You can read the books, you can listen; but you must begin with it yourself.

Is that true?

(Lady in the hall): ‘Indeed.’

But if you seek the hereafter now by means of yourself, the astral world, then you will not work it out so quickly.

And then those books can help you again, by means of the human being who lives there.

Is that clear?

Now you get what the professor teaches your pupil, your student in order to help a human being, in order to cut out those diseases, from the body.

For example, if you – you will feel what I mean – if I tell you: ‘You must begin with it yourself’, yes, then those books will be a support to you.

Because then we go and we will tell you what we experienced when we could achieve and enter that and that and that.

For example, by means of ‘The Cycle of the Soul’, you get an idea: why did I commit suicide?

Never do that.

Do you see?

Because if you do not know those laws, however sweet and good and upright and honest you might be, loving, you will never get to know the laws for suicide.

And the human being who has committed that suicide, and who can pass that on, he now gives you a grasp, and he carries you.

Do you feel what I mean?

Only then, when you experience the life, speak to the people – you come into contact with thousands of people here in society – then you can do good, but then you remain in the material.

Or you will have to possess the gifts in order to be able to receive that space for yourself.

Do you have that?

(Gentleman in the hall): ‘Yes, master Zelanus, I would like to ask the following question.

It was recently in the paper, a doctor in America, he administered air into the veins of a seriously ill cancer patient, as a result of which her life span has been shortened.

I would like to know from you: what meaning does such a deed have for space?

Because that doctor, what we call, was inspired by humanitarian motives, actually.’

It is a matter of determining: is suicide present here?

(Gentleman in the hall): ‘Yes.’

(Another person in the hall): ‘Or murder.’

Murder.

And suicide.

The patient, the patient is convinced, of course.

He has asked the patient: ‘Do you approve of that?’

Such things happen outside of her, outside of the consciousness.

Then it was the conscious murder.

But: ‘Get me out of the suffering.’

‘Do you approve of that?

Then I will help you?’

With full consciousness, wasn’t it?

When that mother, or that man, the human being, decides: put an end to this life, this suicide by means of another.

The doctor must not do it.

They bear this battle together.

And if this soul, this human being, still had four, five months to live, then she will, because she puts an end to her life, have shortened her life, she will go into the ground with her body and now she will experience the rotting process at full power.

You cannot destroy yourself, you cannot destroy, you cannot destroy the soul, the spiritual, the astral personality.

So you go into the ground with that body; you make it a thousand times worse.

But if the doctor does that outside of her knowledge and feeling, then the doctor is the murderer.

You cannot violate these natural laws, you cannot shorten your life because you are ill.

Everything is possible for the earth.

Science, society, feeling of justice comes up against that and says: no, doctor.

The faculty says: no, we are for healing.

You feel ...

In prehistoric ages millions of people were killed in this way.

But you will feel, if science would approve that the doctor would release the patient from that suffering, it would become a mass murder.

For the universe you are therefore ...

You violate your life.

Or that life?

That body is ill, but that life is not ill.

That life still has to live, for months, and probably for one year, two years.

If that mother who has cancer had said: ‘I do not want that.

I do not want that’, and people do it anyway, because the human being thinks: when that child will come out of her suffering then she will not come into the ground and then she will free from that rotting, because she has not destroyed the life. You have disposal, you have the order over your body: ‘I do not want that.’

Laws, laws.

In all those states you feel the natural justice for the body, the body asks for growth, experience.

Then the dying comes of its own accord.

That is not dying, you become free.

But also the soul which it concerns, not the soul, but the astral personality as spirit, she experiences that.

(Lady in the hall): ‘The intention with which that doctor did that, who injected that air into that woman ...’

Yes.

‘ ... that does not matter, does that not have spatial meaning for the karma of that doctor?’

Look, that doctor will enter that state one day that he says: ‘I will no longer violate a patient, because I will remain ...’

This is a divine law, your life is a divine law, that belongs to you.

And whether you are sick or healthy, you cannot take away the life for yourself from the earth five seconds too soon.

Can you feel this?

Then you enter into conflicts, you enter into disharmony with the transition, with growth, blossom, end, evolution, for your body.

But not only that body; what kind of aura do you get, feelings during that time that you live in that body?

He is not only the murderer, he is not the one who violates a divine law here, in evolution, in your time, your life, your society, in everything, that pain, they already lie there ...

No, it is the thinking, the being; being here in the material, you will understand that one day, it is essential for space, soul, spirit, personality.

Your life has a time.

You still do not have that life in your hands, but you will spoil it, no, experience, you must experience it.

You do not need to ask for pain.

The human being who would laugh at pain and shrug his shoulders, he is an unconscious being.

That doctor whom you sent there too soon out of pity ...

What is pity?

On the other side, for God, what is pity?

Did you think that God does not know any pity?

Now there is an illness.

What does that soul, that personality experience?

Pity?

By means of pity you start to rape, destroy, sully, contaminate, deform the nature.

Question from the hall from a nurse: ‘Dying people are often given morphine injections to make dying easier.

Which feelings does this have for the soul, who must pass on, Mr Rulof?

‘Sister’, Jozef begins, ‘you can now see and experience this, now that you have all of this in you.

Those injections are good.

Because that poor being does not feel his pains as much, the spirit can calmly release itself for the other side, because the pains brought disorder, it was groaning.

But now peace comes.

Did you not know this?

This is not harmful to the soul, on the contrary, it is a blessing!

The human being in this time can accept, people still did not know this before, when those deathbeds were different, like everything for that matter.

You were cut open in full consciousness then, because anaesthetic was not yet there!

You see it once more, we are progressing fast and that is understandable.

Soon we will have conquered all the misery!

It is only then that the human being will die spiritually consciously!’

What should you do now, madam?

Have the operation?

You see, that is all personal.

You cannot act by means of the will and the power and the life of feeling of another, you act when it comes down to it exactly as you now are.

Is it fixed upon every birth when the soul will die and how man will pass away?’

‘Yes, that is a law and is fixed too, but the way in which a person passes away and the cause of his death have nothing to do with it.

The laws for the soul determine its age.”

You are one aura, you live by means of the aura, that is the time of life, that is the life as time for your life on earth, and that is life aura, that is life juice, that is the life milk of the All-Mother by means of which we people live.

What keeps you alive now?

Why do you live, why are you still not dead here?

Why have you really still not died here now?

And why does one person die early and the other person late?

Why must a human being become eighty years old, sir?

‘In your last life you went back to earth to make it up to mother.’

‘Not only for that, but also to release myself completely from the earth and therefore to be able to enter eternal life, free and without ties.

When I was finished on earth, I could die.

This explains why I died so young.’

And now you have in that ... Every human being is now another problem, is a law, and now all the transitions are personal or legislative or natural, or the life speaks.

Can you feel?

And now you get thousands ...

Now you can write thousands and thousands of books about all those death beds and all those accidents and all those coincidences, whatever it is, and then you will still not have made it.

The human being is now so deep.

And it takes us there.

‘But I can explain to you, that murders happen, suicides too, which, despite the fact, are still normal transitions.

One example: people have contact with the Other Side.

It is a good contact, whose daughter is the medium.

The father goes with his son and daughter to the hills for a three week holiday; the mother already lives ‘behind the coffin’.

The daughter is there two days and wants to return to the Netherlands.

The father says: ‘Go, but come back.’

But the daughter runs behind the house into a ditch and drowns.

She therefore returned in order to walk into the water and to die.

Four months later she comes through and says:

‘I did not commit suicide, father.

This was my time.

God does not know any deathbeds and you know, I am happy, my own death brought me to this ripping apart and I surrendered completely.

It was death and I had nothing more to say, therefore my own evolution!’