Judas -- Sources

Source texts from the books by Jozef Rulof for the article ‘Judas’.
By Ludo Vrebos, based on the books by Jozef Rulof.
These sources presume the prior reading of the article ‘Judas’.

The demand of Judas

Master Zelanus allows us to look into the inner life of Judas:
You are familiar with the dramatic events in Jerusalem during Christ’s last days.
Nevertheless, you know nothing about what happened to those who were directly involved in these events.
Judas ended his life, after he had betrayed his Master, as the bible says.
Did he really betray his Master?
And what did he experience when he entered the astral world after his suicide?
The Other Side tells you emphatically: Judas did not commit any foul deed towards his Divine Master.
He only wanted to urge Christ to great deeds.
He would show the high priests one day what his Rabbi could do.
Judas did not doubt that his Master was the Messiah.
All the miracles his Master had already performed.
However, it was not enough for Judas, Christ would be able to accomplish even greater wonders.
And what would those arrogant Jewish priests with vain pride and all Christ’s other enemies hope to achieve if his Rabbi reached those great deeds?
He can destroy, crush them and prove his greatness and godliness to them by means of this.
Oh, he worshipped his Master, it only just grieved him, that he did not take action against his little, dismal attackers.
Christ did not pay any attention to Judas.
Divinely conscious as he was, he knew his path.
Judas got to learn this lesson.
He should have accepted his Master in everything, should have waited.
Judas made demands of Christ - and what human being may make demands?
Christ could not deviate from his plans for the sake of Judas, but Judas did not understand any of this.
And then he wanted to force his Divine Master.
He challenged Christ and the high priests, brought the soldiers into the Court of Gethsemane and waited for the wonder which would happen.
A multitude of feelings assail him during this tremendous moment, there was tension in him, pride for his Divine Master, a boundless love, but yet also a fear that things would take a different, wrong direction.
Would his master now perform miracles, which, he, Judas, looked forward to for such a long time?
Would he ...?
But if he did not do them and the soldiers ... him
But of course his Master would beat them with his amazing powers!
Much went on inside of Judas.
And then he had to accept that Christ surrendered himself like a lamb!
No signs of miracles, no great, overwhelming actions.
Christ let himself be led away quietly by the military.
Confused, not understanding, Judas stared after him.
The contempt from the eyes of his fellow apostles affected him fiercely.
Judas’ world collapsed, horror entered him at what he had done, remorse, he burned inside with terrible pains.
While he did not know another calm hour and wandered round in extreme desperation, the drama happened quickly.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
I already told you - but I cannot repeat it enough, Judas was thought about and written about in too awful a way - a great faith lived in him, he worshipped his Master even more than the other apostles did.
Judas had a great understanding for the scriptures; being a good pupil, he knew the scriptures completely.
However, he wanted to know more and he would have seen Christ prove so well that He was truly the Messiah.
Then the Pharisees and scribes would look surprised and they would no longer be able to deny or cheat, they would have to accept that Christ was the Messiah.
Oh, if his Master was one day to be faced with the high priests, then they would experience wonders and sink away into nothing.
However, Judas did not know his Master, his train of thought was wrong, they were own feelings.
His acceptance and trust was great, but not great enough!
The masters of this side know the life of Judas, they know that he did not want to betray his Master.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
Judas thinks.
You see, Judas thinks that he can urge his Master on, interferes with something that he should have stayed away from with his fingers, his heart, his life.
Lectures Part 1, 1950
Why, Judas, did you begin to think in the wrong direction?
Why did you interfere with the Divine authority?
Why did you accept wrong thoughts for yourself?
Lectures Part 1, 1950
He wanted to raise the Messiah, he wanted to show Him, and he wanted to prove what He could do.
Did the Christ, did the All-Source have to listen to a mite like that, a trivial little life like that?
Yes, there was longing in Judas in order to do something for society, something for the Rabbi, something for the faith, indeed, but there was no consciousness, not for that.
Lectures Part 1, 1950
They enter the garden and there goes Judas, he is going to betray his Master with a kiss.
“No”, says Judas, “and now I will force You.
Now You will just prove to that cursed low, unconscious world what You can do, Master.”
Christ looks at a little child.
“So, why did you come to Me, why did you not leave Me alone?”
“Just give mankind wisdom”, the Christ said, He wondered, “even if I give My life and I give My heart, then it will still not be enough.
No, they send Me to the stake which I do not like, because I experience other stakes.”
It also says, when that bible is written again, it also says: “Stay away from My life with your hands, your thoughts, your feelings, I have My own task.
I will accomplish that task as I must do it.”
Millions of books lie here for us, philosophical systems lie in Gethsemane, lie there with Pilate, lie piled up in Jerusalem and the human being does not see them.
Why not?
It is because those philosophical systems must still be analysed.
Socrates and Plato had none of it.
Those are spatial foundations.
But you have to ask yourself, like Judas, like Caiaphas, like Peter – this is just the example, they were just children, who began to serve anyway –: “Why do you interfere with Me, why do you want to change My thinking with regard to yourself?”
That is: do it like that, no, you must do that like that.
And then the human being walks: “I want you to do it like that.”
“No”, says the human being, “that is wrong.”
Lectures Part 1, 1950


Judas committed suicide:
If Judas could have accepted, he would have entered the Spheres of Light with the other apostles.
However, he did not accept his Divine Master and even committed suicide in the end and in this way he destroyed the sacredness which awaited him.
Judas now had to learn in the first place that he had no demands to make and had to accept that which had removed him from Christ.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
The only, the only soul of all the millions which followed that there, were able to experience, that child hangs itself, puts an end to its life.
This only child knew that He was the Messiah.
Lectures Part 1, 1950
I explained to you by means of the book ‘The Peoples of the Earth’ that, when Judas had killed himself, he just had the consciousness in order to look where he was.
He was not dead, he was alive.
“My God, my God, what have I started?” and then his gaze became hazy, his consciousness sunk back to something ... yes, what is that?
You can read that again in the books ‘Spiritual gifts.’
He descended into the ‘coffin’.
He descended into the tearing loose of his spirit with regard to the body and entered the world of the unconscious, the world for the birth, in order to begin a new life.
Lectures Part 1, 1950
Here thousands of proverbs, which the bible preached, fall, because Judas would be damned here eternally.
And that is not possible because this universe is not the Divine All, as I explained to you.
You continue, because a fourth, a fifth, a sixth and seventh cosmic grade originated.
Lectures Part 1, 1950
Over time, Judas was born again:
Judas was born again.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
And as the quotation in the article ‘world of the unconscious -- Sources’ mentions:
‘He received a new material body, but his soul life had not changed at all, all that time this had slept in the world of the unconscious.’
After this sentence, master Zelanus describes the reincarnation of Judas:
Although he was born in another country, he still entered his own past.
His Jewish parents received him in every love and gave him a calm, friendly youth.
The longing to study lay in him, he wanted to know all about his faith.
His soul life could not be stopped and we see Judas make a deep study of both the Jewish and the Catholic faith.
He enters the Jewish council as a rabbi and he is one of the most academic amongst them.
He comes that far that he feels consciously that Christ was the Messiah.
However, when he speaks to his fellow rabbis about his feeling and thinking and wants to convince them that they no longer need to look forward to the Messiah, since He already came to them in the person of Christ and then was woefully nailed to the cross by them, he is thrown out of the council.
We see him as an exile again in Jerusalem.
Judas seeks his refuge there, in the holy city, which he already felt attracted to since childhood.
The longing for this city never left him, it burned in him all his life and it can only be put out by going there.
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how overwhelming his emotion is, when the city absorbs him.
He dances like a happy child and, weeping, he kisses the ground.
He feels like a reborn person.
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Judas keeps mumbling the word.
It dominates him.
Here in this city he reaches deep thinking, as a rabbi he can visit all the temples.
And as a result of his deep meditation he feels even stronger than before, that Christ is the Messiah.
‘Do not look at the clouds any longer, the Messiah lived here!’ he talks to himself in this way, while he wanders through the old streets, head bent to the ground.
Sometimes he suddenly remains standing still and then he listens to a voice, which speaks deep inside of him.
He raises his head and then looks down again and up again.
And sighing deeply he then mumbles: ‘No, a thousand times no, what I feel, what burns in me, it is that, yes, it is that!
Yes, it is that, this what I feel is nothing, nothing else.
This is it!’
Those, who see his remarkable apparition and hear him speak to him, believe that he is a saint, they respectfully step aside and try to catch a glimpse of his holiness, when he passes them drawn into himself.
However, to whom he speaks of Christ as the Messiah, shout at him for a mad person, they go out of his way and see in him more of a curse, a deserter and a document forger.
Judas experiences much misery in this life.
He suffers sorrow and lack, but it does not harm him.
He wants to suffer hunger and thirst, he wants to suffer and even if he does not know why he wants that, he does it.
And he thereby fights an inner battle, so awful that few other people experience.
He is consumed by a never ceasing urge to shout out that the Jews must awaken, that they must accept Christ and not have to look at the clouds any longer.
However, he cannot put it in words, he can only murmur.
Something inside him refuses.
When it burns very badly in him, he looks for the Court of Gethsemane, there he usually feels calm.
He lies down there quietly and lets his thoughts run free, because he must think, without thoughts he will never make it.
He wants to kiss the ground here so much and sometimes, when he knows he is not being watched, he also does it.
He goes into an ecstasy then, a sort of sleeping state, in which he nevertheless knows exactly what he is doing.
‘It is here, yes, it is here.
I cannot be mistaken, it is in this place ... here lived ...’
But he does not come any further, the word will not pass his lips now either.
Christ, he wants to speak about him, mention his name.
But there is something in him which holds him back.
Feelings and thoughts live in him which cannot yet speak the necessary conscious.
His soul now refuses and he also has untold sorrow from this.
And this sorrow now cuts so intensely in his soul, that he leaves the Court and goes to the temple in order to seek rest in the scriptures.
He sits there for hours on end withdrawn into himself, reading and meditating.
And then it can occur that he jumps up and dashes out of the temple.
He goes his way, one and all bustle - to Mount Calvary.
And while he takes step after step, the word Golgotha comes to him.
He keeps repeating it, he tastes the word, Golgotha, Gol-go-th-a, Gol-go-God!
Why is he upsetting himself so much, he is making himself dead tired.
At Golgotha Judas looks for himself.
It is there that Judas awakens in him.
It is there that he can talk to himself, it is on this spot, that he gets to know himself better than anywhere else in Jerusalem.
Two people live in him, he feels here, he himself and someone else, and that someone is also like himself, but yet different.
And he would like to curse this human being, yes, to fight a battle of life and death with him if possible.
However, this does not last long, but for a few moments he feels like that stranger, then he sinks back into his own state, in this way he feels quieter than when that other being in him raises his head.
This one is dangerous, he threatens him and wants to dominate him.
Judas also refuses to accept the thoughts which this human being places in him.
When they come, his heart beats so intensely that it hurts.
In the Court of Gethsemane he does not dare to go into these thoughts, since he would rather bury himself in the earth to never come out again.
Sometimes his own misery overcomes him so intensely there that he cannot cope.
Judas is then on the point of succumbing.
He tries to keep going with everything which he has in him, biting his lips until they bleed.
He remains for days and nights in that state in the Court, sometimes he sleeps, usually he is on watch.
Why am I sitting here? he wonders.
I cannot think anyway.
His thoughts whirl through each other, there is no direction to them and they exhaust him horribly.
Finally he releases himself from the spot and goes into the city again.
He walks round there praying, mumbling fragments from the scriptures and anyone who sees him, feels him to be a saint, as was said.
They give him bread and drink and he accepts the good gifts, when he has seen the face of the givers.
Tears run down his cheeks and he directs his steps towards Mount Calvary.
There he polishes off the bread, without a rush or much taste, because he is not really hungry.
His body rattles like a dried out skeleton, but he has no need for food.
The fire in him dominates everything.
He sits down at a certain spot.
This place is very special, Judas knows, however, without being able to say why.
A cross once stood here.
The cross.
He now plays a dangerous game with himself, he feels, now he goes and sits at the spot where the cross once stood.
He dares to, but then he may not think of anything and certainly not about that horrible thing, that that other one keeps wanting to place in him.
He must keep very calm, then it will become clear in him.
A moment later he does something, which actually surprises him; he starts to dig a hole at the spot.
And while he digs over the earth with his hands, he sings a devotional song.
He now feels very rich, everything belongs to him, also the earth in which he digs.
It becomes a deep hole, so deep that he can stand in it himself.
Now that his head sticks out above the earthen wall, he sings and hums and looks at this surroundings.
He can look out like this for hours, while he wrings his hands and sometimes laments, as if people have stabbed him and an intense, internal pain tortures him.
Below him lies Jerusalem.
He watches the streets and follows in thought the people he sees walking there.
By doing so and tuning in sharply to them, he soon knows everything about them.
He likes to follow the rabbis especially, he can follow them as long as he wants that.
He enters the temple with them and listens to their conversations.
First he does not believe it, he tunes in more sharply to their talking.
Yes, they are talking about him, that madman there, who has buried himself on Mount Calvary.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
Judas does not even tremble, when he hears them speak about him so destructively, he even crawls out of the hole and sits down in order to be able to hear better.
However, he soon gets bored and he lets himself fall back into his earthen dwelling.
There he meditates the whole day about what people said about him.
When he cannot reach a conclusion, he strolls to the Court of Gethsemane to come to himself again.
Where he lives people almost do not see him.
Judas is everywhere and nowhere, he experiences thousands of problems and he does not experience any, he is broken from thinking and nevertheless there is no clarity in him.
He is no longer capable of putting the shards of his inside together again.
Yet he tries this desperately.
Seek ... just seek!’ passes his lips, ‘just seek, you satan, satan in me, just seek, you ... pha ..., you document ... you turmoil seeking people!’
Then he is talking to himself and to the people he meets, but prefers to avoid.
He is like an awkward child in this state.
It cuts and stings and rattles in his inside, it is like a feeling of hunger.
The rags which he wears, bother him, they hurt him, he would prefer to wear nothing.
A stone can now make him stumble and then he lies down without having the realisation to get up, until someone finds him and takes pity on him.
It often happens that people take him to his room and put him to bed.
He sleeps for days on end and these are the only hours that he knows earthly warmth and peace.
Otherwise he thinks and slaves and torments himself and he seeks for his other self.
‘Oh, Jerusalem, but why!
Why am I here?’
He does not want to be moved out of the way by the rabbis hostile towards him, he must keep his freedom, even if he has to escape over the roofs, he will not be captured.
Judas thinks like this, for one person he is a remarkable sort of rabbi, for the other he is a complete madman.
But there are also people who treat him respectfully.
And this makes him stronger, it gives trust and makes him live.
His step are directed again to Golgotha.
In the hole, which he keeps on opening and closing, light begins to enter him.
When he closes his eyes, he sees the inhabitants of Jerusalem and he hears the high priests talking.
But he experiences even more and this makes him jubilant.
Suddenly he knows with a striking certainty, that this is the spot where Christ’s Cross once stood.
Here the Messiah, the King of the Jews, died.
He surprises himself, that he can suddenly think so clearly.
Has he learned something?
I have made it, he thinks.
Now I can suddenly think about it.
Now it has come out of me and I can say it.
It is here!
It is here on this spot, that Christ exchanged the earthly life for the Divine one!!!
Intensely joyful about the fact that he can now think so clearly and without disruption, he runs around Mount Calvary to return to his spot again panting for breath.
He now lets himself fall into the hole, full of joy, and wants to continue to think.
He would like to die at this favourite spot.
How gladly he would die for God and Christ, if he was able to know and he received an answer to the numerous incomprehensible and tormenting questions in him.
How joyful he now already is, now that he can think normally.
He can think!
Think of everything which he needs, on this here and on that there below.
He can think of everything without anything disturbing him.
He feels his head, his arms and legs, checks his heartbeat, he puts his fingers on his eyes.
The optical nerves warn him to be careful and to consider himself more.
He is physically very weakened, but it does not mean anything to him, he can think again as he thought then ... long ago.
‘I want to die here’, he mumbles a moment later again.
‘I want to die here at this place.’
He crawls out of his cave again and crawls on, seeking and listening, sunk back again into a strange world, in which there is only room for himself.
He presses his ear to the earth and listens keenly, he hears nothing.
And yet it is here, here he will hear the redeeming word, it can only be here, nowhere else on Earth ... only in Jerusalem and at this spot!
Judas continues to search for the reality of his own life and anyone who sees him like that, sympathises with him.
He is already trying to get to the back of the big problems, which have made him what he now is.
However, it is all in vain, he does not find out.
He is here to pray, he believes and to think.
He wants to ask God to take away the terrible part from him, to free him from all his thoughts, which he cannot be released from.
Why does God not do this?
Why not?
He thought he had certainty, but ... is his thinking and feeling good?
Why does God not give him any certainty and peace?
As a result of the holy books he has not become wiser, yes, the scripture curses in him, he suffocates in it.
The Earth can probably give him it, tell him it?
But however much he listens, the earth does not speak.
Or does it speak, but is his life dead?
This makes him sad.
In his cave in the ground he begs God to help him.
He is a Christian, a child, he says in his prayer.
He wants to see and to know and he asks whether God wants to take that suffering away from him.
Without those pains he will be better able to live further.
Judas remains in prayer for days and nights and crawls around feeling.
The feelings in him are strange, he would like to press all of Jerusalem to his heart, yes, to give his life for this area.
But why actually?
In this way his questions multiply every hour.
All the pains, the questions and the lack are still not capable of breaking him, he is able to keep on going and he gradually gets to know himself better.
Sometimes this means wisdom for him, then misery and horror again.
And in Jerusalem people just let him go, people now find him a harmless eccentric.
Dreaming, he walks through the streets of Jerusalem, talking to himself and shaking his head.
Groaning he comes out with the words.
‘My Master ... oh, my Master ...’, people hear him mumble.
Judas then sees a flash of his previous life, he sees himself strolling through the streets of Jerusalem, there are other people with him, whom he knows.
In their midst a figure is walking, so heavenly and divine, that it can only be the Messiah.
Judas dissolves for a moment in this image, he collapses amongst the people and remains lying, groaning and murmuring the name of the Messiah.
These moments are wonderful for Judas’ soul, the bystanders see the ecstasy mirrored on his face.
Next to him Judas now sees a beautiful shape, shrouded in a snow-white garment, shining like a sun.
From the eyes the eternal light shines down on Judas, it warms him and the other people who are with him.
He does not understand that all of them do not kneel down in order to pray and to meditate.
Why are the people so insensitive?
Judas dreams consciously, he is asleep and yet awake.
In this state he experiences all those unreal apparitions.
But then everything goes hazy and when he opens his eyes he sees the bystanders, who watch him with respectful looks.
Yet these strange eyes wound him and he hurries off, far away from the people, to the safe silence of Gethsemane.
He hides there under the bushes.
He tried to come to his senses.
And then it can happen, that he gets such a fright from himself, that he chastises himself.
This afternoon he also lets rip at himself, he hits where he can, until he collapses exhausted.
Wearied in soul and body he finds himself again, he looks up, but then he can no longer hold up the tortured body and he closes his earthly eyes for good.
At that moment his provoked soul gets wings, it flaps upwards, looks around a bit in the universe where it comes, also wants to start to think there and look for itself, but then those eyes also close and Judas knows about nothing more.
One of the many worlds, which God possesses and created for the human being, has absorbed him.
That world rocks him to sleep, he has a rest there and prepares himself for a new birth, for a new life on Earth.
People found him lying in the court of Gethsemane, his lips touched the earth, as if he had still wanted to hear the answer in his last moments of the earth to his numerous oppressive questions with regard to himself in the present and the past ...
Was he Judas?
He had felt it several times, however, it was too incredible for him, than that he could have accepted.
However, neither the Earth nor the people could confirm his feelings and it did not help him either that he stared for hours on end at the sky or let the tears flow lavishly.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941

An inner fire

Master Zelanus also follows the next lives of Judas who remains focused on the Messiah:
He was born with Jewish parents.
They see him become a rabbi and climb up to the Jewish council.
He wants to convince Judaism again of his feelings with regard to the Messiah.
He is even more fanatical on this point than before, the fire in him has ignited even more fiercely.
The Jews want to know nothing about him and his views.
But Judas shouts it out: Christ is the Messiah!
Or he does not want to listen to the claims of his fellow Jewish priests, that their Messiah must still be born and that this will not take much longer, he sees himself exiled again.
Judas goes back to Jerusalem, even if he does not know anything either about his past.
There he immediately climbs Mount Calvary.
He wants to meditate, but then he suddenly gets an intense shock: he descends unexpectedly into the past during this thinking.
The shock is so terrible, that a heart attack takes him from the world.
Again his tortured soul flies into the universe, he also opens his eyes for a moment now, but the Divine laws here demand obedience.
He returns to the world of the unconscious, now he must not see or think.
He falls asleep and an invisible energy takes him to peace.
Judas Iscariot also experiences many lives after each other, I was allowed to follow him.
The fire continued to burn in him.
He wondered several times why he fought so fanatically for the Messiah and why Judaism did not change.
He was absorbed into the Jewish council a few more times.
Judas then spoke as a conscious being and when this inspiration overcame him, he touched on everything of the Jews, for him only Golgotha and the Messiah existed.
He did not come into those lives either behind himself.
They keep taking him back to other peoples.
However, Jerusalem does not let go of him in those lives either, this place draws on his life with a magical power and he cannot be released from it.
He learns a lot in these lives and he comes into harmony with the universe.
However, he continues to search for himself.
We also see Judas in Jerusalem again in his last life.
As a child he already plays on Mount Calvary.
Golgotha now also attracts him and the child lets itself go.
While playing it experiences the own emotional life.
Judas meets a boy, who like him often sits down there and stares into space mournfully.
He wants to become good friends with this child, but something stops him, something pushes him away from this life.
Judas thinks he knows this life, but he does not know from where.
The boy keeps coming back in his dreams, so often and so sharply, that it becomes particularly annoying.
They grow up together, the boy is not always in Jerusalem, but when he is there, he visits Judas in order to play with him and talk to him.
Judas awakens as a result of this.
On Golgotha he reaches deep conversations, the boy tells that there is no peace in him either.
Judas sympathises with him, but does not know how to help him either.
If Judas could have seen the depth of this soul life, he would have recognised the murderer in his friend, who hung to the left of Christ and had scarcely any forgiveness.
As Judas now looks for himself, this soul sought for the environment, which he rejected then laughingly!
As Judas gets older, more peace enters him.
He is now constantly at Golgotha, he is spiritually far away from the Earth, he draws every thought from another world, materially he becomes blind and unfeeling.
He sits at the spot where the Cross of Christ once stood, he waits calmly and modestly for the wonder, which must come and which will show itself to him.
Judas - is he Judas?
The wonder does not come, Judas sinks away in a spiritual depth and heart failure puts an end to this life.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941

Also in the Hereafter

Judas awakens in the astral world:
In the world where he now opens his eyes, illuminated forms await him.
Judas thinks he recognises them.
‘Is that not ...?
But that is impossible?
Is it them after all?’ He wonders.
The forms come towards him.
One of them says:
‘Yes, my brother, it is us.
I am Peter, there is John and Andrew, there is Jacob and the other people.
We come to welcome you!’
Peter and the other apostles greet Judas in the spheres of light.
But Judas can still not deal with much and he falls asleep.
When he awakens, he immediately calls for the apostles.
Peter asks him whether he recognised them.
Yes, yes, Judas assures him, he recognised all of them.
Judas falls to his knees, and asks his fellow brothers questions.
Peter makes him stand up and makes it clear to him what happened to him.
He shows him scene after scene and in this way Judas now oversees all of his lives, the veil falls from his eyes.
He now understands the questions and the tensions, which oppressed him during his earthly lives.
The apostles take him to the first sphere, where he can have a rest.
Here he thanks God for everything which he got to experience, he has learned his lessons and now understands the mistakes, which he made as Judas towards Christ.
Yet he is not free of everything, a fire still burns in him and he also wants to be free of that.
Judas listens carefully when his fellow apostles tell him how he must act.
He accepts everything.
Then the apostles take him back to Golgotha and again he lives in Jerusalem, but now as an astral personality.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
On earth, the apostles thought that Judas was damned, but in the hereafter the reality is explained to them:
The apostles thought that Judas was damned, but this miracle was soon explained to them, because God does not damn!
Jeus of Mother Crisje Part 3, 1952
In the hereafter, Judas comes to himself.
When he oversees his life there, it becomes clear to him what still burns in him.
He wants to hear from the mouth of his Divine Master that he forgives him for his deeds, otherwise he will never be happy.
His Master will probably come to him here.
Waiting in deep longing for the coming of Christ, he goes over all his lives and meditates, while the apostles have returned to their own heavens.
His Master does not come and a feeling of desperation overcomes Judas.
The thoughts of eternal damnation do not let go of him; will Christ not be able to forgive him for his deeds and will he therefore always have to walk around with that curse?
But there is light in him anyway and there is still an enormous difference in his thinking and feeling here with that during his ghostly ramble over the Earth.
However, months and years pass and he still lives there in expectation in Jerusalem and on Golgotha, begging for the word of forgiveness, which will give him eternal happiness.
Was his deed too great then to ever be able to receive forgiveness?
He goes back to his previous lives again and again and walks around again with his Master and his fellow apostles.
When he lets himself go like that, remains calm and does not let any longings come up in him, there is peace and happiness in him.
But as soon as he lets himself be driven by his compelling desire for forgiveness, the anxiety in him rises and he feels that he is getting behind again.
He demands again - and did life not make him understand that he has nothing to demand?
Must his dreadful ‘wanting’ destroy him again?
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941


He now smothers every thought which comes up inside him and wants to force him to ask questions, to long for forgiveness.
Nothing may now drive him on, demands or longings may not be in him, only pure, full surrender.
It is only then that he will have conquered his faulty characteristics, then he will be master over himself.
And with these new feelings in him, he experiences the Golgotha drama again, he does not recoil from it, he wants to experience everything, also his own role in the terrible event.
He thinks calmly about everything and now there is no longer any question in him of demanding.
And now he may ask for forgiveness, now understanding, surrender and knowledge have entered him!
He kneels down and prays to his Divine Master for forgiveness.
And now he is not alone on Golgotha, millions of souls follow him, follow his life with Christ on Earth and also reflect upon their own lives.
In this way depth, understanding and surrender also enter them.
And Judas prays:
‘God, oh my God, forgive me for my faults.
I did not want to betray your son.
I wanted to shake Judaism awake.
I will make everything good again, but I am not a traitor.
Your Son and Holy Child know it.
I ask you for forgiveness, my God.
Help me, forgive me.’
Light, heat and happiness have entered him.
When he thought that nothing helped and he surrendered himself and everything, he was absolutely nothing anymore, he felt himself opening and light radiated in him.
The life around dissolves, Judas sees himself alone on Golgotha.
A golden light breaks through, it shines over his little life.
Judas looks upwards and sees into the face of his Divine Master.
‘Master, my Master.
It is you, the Messiah.
Can you forgive me?’
Judas feels absorbed in the sacredness and the magnificence of God’s Child, Jesus Christ.
He cannot take his eyes off his shining face.
Then he hears it said:
‘Judas, Judas, do you still doubt?’
Judas cannot utter a word, overwhelmed as he is by this awe-inspiring event.
And Christ then says:
‘You have been forgiven for everything, Judas, everything, you have got to know yourself.
Now go back to the Spheres of Light and follow your path there.
You know the laws of my Father.
Come, my son, everything has now been forgiven.’
Judas feels how he is absorbed into the life of Christ, he now knows himself to be carried by his sacred powers.
He feels himself going higher and higher.
Judas receives the blessing from his Master between Heaven and Earth.
Then Christ dissolves before him, but now happiness sings in Judas, free as he is from every wrong thought.
The Peoples of the Earth seen by the Other Side, 1941
Judas takes his spiritual development into his own hands again and raises his love and consciousness to the third sphere of light:
Archives, 1945